Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: MsDazzler on December 28, 2011, 06:31:02 PM

Title: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: MsDazzler on December 28, 2011, 06:31:02 PM
There seem to be a lot of transgender people who feel deeply unhappy about their assigned gender identities, inability to transition, inability to pass, and so on and on. To me, that implies they just sit around at home, mope, whine on the boards, etc. Sounds like their social lives are down the toilet.

And there is this stereotype that trans people are depressed, spend their time seeing shrinks, and never see the daylight. What social life, right?

Then there is this stereotype that trans people are prostitutes, out at night all the time, their mouths and ortifices popular (for a charge, of course, lol) Wow, what a social life, right!?

Am I wrong?

Tell me how your social life rate from being 1-10?

1- Loser and stays home 24/7  :icon_cry2:

2- Loser, but do get out of the house occasionally even if it is just for a grocery run  :eusa_wall:

3- Semi-semblance of a social life - that is, friends do drop by  :icon_tetter:

4- Struggling social life, at least you have a Facebook account  :icon_ashamed:

5- Moderate social life, you actually go out during day time and mingle at least few times a week  :icon_walk:

6- Decent social life, your daily excurisons outside of the house do just not include trips to doctors and shrinks   :icon_chillpill:

7- Emerging socialite, you get invited to parties, bars and whatnot and finally have a reason to go glam  :icon_kiss:

8- Graduated socialite, your Smartphone is innduated with texts and emails inviting you to go out - time to wear that $100 dress!  :eusa_dance:

9- Social Butterfly, you know the latest on friends, parties, etc - your phone #, Facebook account, and email is in demand   :icon_blahblah:

10- MISS POPULAR - Hooray, you've got it all! Friends, endless string of lovers, you are always in the spotlight everywhere you go!  :icon_chick:



So how would you rate your social life?  :icon_geekdance:


Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Rabbit on December 28, 2011, 06:47:35 PM
In the last 9 months (as long as I've been on hormones) I went from

2- Loser, but do get out of the house occasionally even if it is just for a grocery run

to

7- Emerging socialite, you get invited to parties, bars and whatnot and finally have a reason to go glam

...

The thing is, before hormones, I honestly didn't want to go out. I had a couple friends but always made excuses why I couldn't go out and they definitely never came to my place.

It wasn't because I was uncomfortable... it was just I rather wanted to stay home.

And now, I have a lot more friends... and am a lot more friendly and easy to approach (when I saw family over thanksgiving, they all noticed I was a bit different and much more sociable).

I consider it an improvement (and definitely will help with my career as I go forward... so extra bonus).

When I started hormones, I didn't realize they could have such large effects :D
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on December 28, 2011, 06:54:20 PM
Struggling social life due to having a MARRIED boyfriend who controls my every move it seems. I get out about twice a month and he keeps tabs on me the entire time. The only socializing he allows is the local horror shows he puts on for his geek friends. LMAO, I glamour up for them...pathetic. No one ever pays attention to me there, I have to go to SF.

I had a booming one when I was single...But I wasn't trans then. My life sucks.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Lily on December 28, 2011, 07:00:20 PM
1, badly wishing I could be at least a 5.

I'm too shy to make friends properly, it takes a long time for me to not be super shy around someone new (has nothing to do with trans stuff... I've become uncharacteristically open about that to non-family) and most people don't have the patience I guess.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Zarania on December 28, 2011, 07:06:02 PM
i'd say 2 for me.

now some ppl ask why.. well. i dont want to make friends now because i hate getting negative commands about transitioning... if everything works well i'll be on hormones in summer when i start my apprentice-ship.

i just hate getting dissapointed.. like people really fast mean alot to me and it just hurts and i cant take that..


# if i'd look like mahsa i'd be a whore and my sociallife would probably be 8~

lets see if i can get that beautiful one day ;3
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Hikari on December 28, 2011, 07:08:46 PM
hmm, about 5-6 I would say, I would like that to be much higher.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on December 28, 2011, 07:10:07 PM
Quote from: Zarania on December 28, 2011, 07:06:02 PM
# if i'd look like mahsa i'd be a whore and my sociallife would probably be 8~

lets see if i can get that beautiful one day ;3

Thanks. I guess...

What does that ;3 mean? I thought it meant laughing?
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Devlyn on December 28, 2011, 07:12:59 PM
Ummm, I'm sorry, where do you keep the negative numbers??? Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: fionabell on December 28, 2011, 07:19:37 PM
9 ;)
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: 30kps on December 28, 2011, 07:30:56 PM
2. Go team loser! Though after my mini photo shoot today (see profile pic) I might decide to force myself a bit higher.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: MacKenzie on December 28, 2011, 07:52:48 PM

Welp, considering i'm hardly ever online i'm gonna say 11!   :)
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Joelene9 on December 28, 2011, 08:50:04 PM
  #4- Struggling, with no facebook account.  I don't trust Facebook.  Sometimes I visit friends and relatives, active member and a board member of a club of 350 people.  New set of emotions that came out this past year, it is hard to try to get more social after 59 years as a loner.  I'm trying. 
  Joelene
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: sysm29 on December 28, 2011, 08:59:14 PM
I want to say 1 but I do go grocery shopping.  I mean I have to eat.  So 2, but my social life has always been nearly non-existent.  My sex life would be in negatives, like freezing temperatures.  lol
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Annah on December 28, 2011, 09:01:15 PM
My social life is an 18. Wished it was lower.

My typical day Mon thru Thursday):
Seminary from 8 am to 4pm
Wednesday: Lead Church service at Nursing Home as well as room visits from 1pm to 4pm
Barnes and Noble work from 5pm to 11 pm

Friday:
8 am to 1 pm: Working at the Church
4 pm to 11:30 pm Work at Barnes and Noble

Saturday:
10am to 4 pm: work at B&N
4 pm to 12 am: shopping or going out

Sunday:
8am to 2pm: Lead Church service
4pm to 10pm: work at B&N

Sex life is very good ;)
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: None on December 28, 2011, 09:08:55 PM
Pre-transition:

4 (Struggling social life) - Some good friends, some not so good friends, but socially awkward, introverted, and fake feeling. Generally I only saw people at school, I tended to prefer being alone.

Early-mid transition:

3 (Semi-semblance of social life) - Lost touch with old friends, rarely went outside, emotionally unstable and addicted to stimulants. Still saw people, but was very rarely sober. At this point, my life was a rollercoaster of constant ups and downs, during the ups I didn't want people to see me, and during the downs I could barely bring myself to get out of bed.

Right now (1 1/2 years fulltime):

7 (Emerging socialite) - Don't have a lot of time to see people during the week due to my university courseload, but I take full advantage of the weekends to get outside and socialize. I kicked the drug habit more than 8 months ago, and it's made a world of difference.  :) With everything settled down and the stimulants out of my system, I'm noticing just how much happier, confident and outgoing I am, and everybody who has seen me recently has noticed as well. I go out with friends at least once a month, generally to raves or concerts, and see my boyfriend at least once a week, despite our insane schedules.

In a nutshell, I was the stereotype of a depressed transgirl who only saw shrinks, but only really during that rough phase of my transition. Nowadays, I'm mostly just a stereotypical overworked  and underslept undergrad  ;D

Also, first post, hi errybody!
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Lily on December 28, 2011, 09:29:21 PM
I don't think I could work at a Barnes & Noble. It would end up like the time I did volunteer work at a library. I'd be putting books away, see one interesting and end up reading it for a half hour.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: stldrmgrl on December 28, 2011, 09:45:37 PM
I rate my social life [at the moment] between 5 and 6.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Annah on December 28, 2011, 09:54:41 PM
Quote from: Lily on December 28, 2011, 09:29:21 PM
I don't think I could work at a Barnes & Noble. It would end up like the time I did volunteer work at a library. I'd be putting books away, see one interesting and end up reading it for a half hour.

i love Barnes and Noble. Best part time job i have ever had. Putting books away is just a small fraction of my time there.

Another reason why B&N is well loved because they offer srs to their transgender employees....even part timers.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: madirocks on December 28, 2011, 09:56:40 PM
I'd say that for the past few years it has been about a three or four for me. Social life always depends on the type of people that are around you. Prior to moving, I'd say my social life was more like a 9 or 10. I miss those days, and I look forward to moving back home. Not that being popular is at all important, but having people to talk to is.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: JadeS on December 28, 2011, 10:12:18 PM
pre-transition i was at 1, now i'm at 6 i think
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Anatta on December 28, 2011, 10:14:01 PM
Kia Ora Ms Daz,

::) My social life is just perfect-in work, rest and play...Just how I like it...

Metta Zenda :)
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: pebbles on December 28, 2011, 10:26:47 PM
5: I see my friends at least once a week somtimes more. I occasionally flirt with some guys. seldom gose much further. I don't really have much time to talk to pepole at work.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on December 28, 2011, 10:45:44 PM
I would be a 10.... But you know, the boyfriend raining on my rainbow parade.

I am known in the SF scene....  I think things will either change when I declare my life back or dump my boyfriend.

In other news, I saw my straight friend with his "bro" today.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: MsDazzler on December 28, 2011, 11:02:32 PM
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 10:45:44 PM


I am known in the SF scene.... 



ditto for that! I am too well known in Castro, lmao.

I realized I forgot to rate myself! I fall on a 9- I don't like being in the spotlight so I try to stay low most of the time, but my social/sex/love life is absolutely great!
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on December 28, 2011, 11:05:49 PM
Quote from: MsDazzler on December 28, 2011, 11:02:32 PM
ditto for that! I am too well known in Castro, lmao.

I realized I forgot to rate myself! I fall on a 9- I don't like being in the spotlight so I try to stay low most of the time, but my social/sex/love life is absolutely great!

An evening at home on AIM talkin to my boyfriend means abuse from my mother and other ->-bleeped-<- I can't stand.

Why is it so hard to dump his ass?
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Annah on December 28, 2011, 11:28:05 PM
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 11:05:49 PM
An evening at home on AIM talkin to my boyfriend means abuse from my mother and other ->-bleeped-<- I can't stand.

Why is it so hard to dump his ass?

had a bf like that. He acted like a total ass but I had a hard time dumping him because I was in love with him. However, after I dumped him I felt SO MUCH better.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Mahsa Tezani on December 28, 2011, 11:49:01 PM
Quote from: Annah on December 28, 2011, 11:28:05 PM
had a bf like that. He acted like a total ass but I had a hard time dumping him because I was in love with him. However, after I dumped him I felt SO MUCH better.

Woo hoo...I can't wait to get home and talk to my man on AIM while he's at home with his wife.

And at 29...I should be out gettin in trouble and stuff. You know vomiting on fire hydrants, goin hiking in Marin, going to parties, workin events, workin my ass off, having sunday brunch with my gay friends, etc.

I can't do any of that....cuz some married man thinks he's more important than me.

But I am afraid to be single...
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Joeyboo~ :3 on December 29, 2011, 12:31:25 AM
1
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Zarania on December 29, 2011, 12:59:08 AM
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 07:10:07 PM
Thanks. I guess...

What does that ;3 mean? I thought it meant laughing?

:3 = cat face
;) = wink
;3 = a cat face which is winking

(my english sucks kinda ;o)
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Rabbit on December 29, 2011, 01:01:33 AM
Quote from: Zarania on December 29, 2011, 12:59:08 AM
:3 = cat face
;) = wink
;3 = a cat face which is winking

(my english sucks kinda ;o)

-,.,-   = vampire!
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Joeyboo~ :3 on December 29, 2011, 01:02:38 AM
8=====D

lawl.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Rabbit on December 29, 2011, 02:35:46 AM
Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 28, 2011, 11:49:01 PM
And at 29...I should be out gettin in trouble and stuff.

Or... you could focus on your career...

I'm 28, and 90 percent of my time is sitting working on my stuff...

Being trans and living life and all that is tons of fun. But, who has time for it every day?
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: AbraCadabra on December 29, 2011, 07:00:05 AM
1 - 3 at best.

Yeah, so it is and so it always was. Having too much company gets just too distracting (waste of life), having too little gets depressing, hum.
Too much sex creates a sort of hang-over, too little or non sucks of course.

I do get by without that all mind numbing TV, so I read, do Susan's, clean the house, go for long walks, go shopping - but NEVER go out on my own, and twice over, to no bars at night.

Why? I don't like the idea of being checked out as some desperate low price pick-up trans-chick, - desperate as I might feel at times.
But there is still some pride in me, and still some time to go before I go lick some dick, or some dick's boots for $$$ down, eh.
Been called kinky before - but have not the faintest idea why that should be... no really.

Axélle
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: justmeinoz on December 29, 2011, 07:35:53 AM
6- Decent social life, your daily excurisons outside of the house do just not include trips to doctors and shrinks   :icon_chillpill:

I am currently living life as a single woman, and doing pretty much whatever I feel like.  I don't have a partner, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself.  I just try and make myself look attractive and available in a dykey sort of way.

Karen.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: BlonT on December 29, 2011, 08:51:25 AM
2 than would be 4 but no facebook find that so yuck.
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Natkat on December 29, 2011, 08:56:11 AM
between 5 and 7,
I am pretty social but I also enjoy just being alone like when I got vacation or freetime.

Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: Naturally Blonde on December 29, 2011, 12:25:42 PM
4- Struggling social life, at least you have a Facebook account 

5- Moderate social life, you actually go out during day time and mingle at least few times a week 

But it was like this before starting my transition and in some cases I'm more outgoing than I was before!
Title: Re: How do your social life rate from being 1-10?
Post by: MsDazzler on December 29, 2011, 01:48:42 PM
Seriously, if you don't even have a FB account.... 'nuff said.  :-\