Susan's Place Transgender Resources

If someone is CRAVING to be operated but the only reason retaining is FEAR and remains in a uncertain and neutral state for a long while and still UNDECIDED & CONFUSED, does this make her a PRE-OP or NON-OP?

I say non-op I guess. For me, pre-op suggests that it's certainly coming. If it's not certain, it's non-op. Cause a lot of people want SRS, but can't have it for whatever reason, so they call themselves non-op. I don't know if that makes any sense, lol..

Is this just a fear of general surgery or sex change surgery?
I'm curious as to whether or not you've had any surgery before at all.

I think it would help to know exactly why you're avoiding SRS, because you could be afraid/apprehensive for a number of reasons.
Your reasons for fear could ultimately decide whether identifying as pre-op or non-op is a better decision for you (at least for now).

I will go out on a limb and say questioning op but if I had to choose I'm will go with non-op since you are in a way refusing the surgery.

I think it comes down to whether you would have SRS if you could overcome the fear of surgery, or not.  If yes you would be pre-op. 
If on the other hand you have no interest or possibility of having SRS for whatever reason, then you are non-op.  Either way you are still one of the girls.
Remember,  labels are for clothes, pity mine are Target and not Versace.  ;)

Karen.

I'm afraid of surgery of any kind  :o   But my biggest obstacle to SRS is affording it so I guess you could say that I'm a wishful pre-op  :-\

The surgery itself is something I never worry about. I only worry about how to get there.

Quote from: shortNsweet on January 30, 2012, 07:33:35 PM
The surgery itself is something I never worry about. I only worry about how to get there.

The same here.  I can't afford it.  I'm doing the best I can.
  Joelene

I take so long to heal,
a regular cut that most people would have gone in a week is still getting better in 3 months for me,
I am not sure that surgery will ever be an option for me,
I figure my best hope is for reincarnation.
but either way that does not change who I am

:icon_yes:

I would say pre-op you never know what the future holds

Having worked in a Hospital Pathology Lab for quite a few years I don't particularly like the idea of any  surgery.  Occupational paranoia I guess you could call it.  The main thing that makes me uncertain about SRS is the amount of time I would be unable to exercise, due to a severe back injury that doesn't like staying still.

Karen.

I figure it's all about intention. If you want/need SRS and are only being stopped by fear/money/whatever, then I would opt for Pre-Op, whereas Non-Op implies to me that you have either no interest in SRS or have decided for whatever reason that it will never happen. I also think this is putting a binary description on something that is more fluid, as you may be Pre-Op one day, Non-Op the next, and completely confused/undecided the day after that.

The only term in this group that really has a discrete determinable definition is Post-Op; either you are or you aren't.

I fear contracting germs like golden staph. Having known someone who had lung surgery and contracted Golden Staph in the wound. He died in a horrid way.
I also am unsure as to dilation and the frequency of performing it. Like having had micro surgery on my hand and the turnover in therapists contradicting each other in rehabilitation techniques I ended up with a stuck tendon.
I also like to orgasm, wet or dry but I hate my male genitals so I do wish they were gone but I have heard that sexual arousal and orgasm are sacrificed post op.
So I guess, until I am convinced that my mind is not undermining my needs I am a non-op person (transgenderist).

im still rather confussed what I am?

I did have top surgery, and it was a must have, but I dont have bottom surgery and I dont think I will do it.
will that make me non up, cause I dont want the bottom surgery, pre up or post up??

and what if somenoe has bottom surgery but not top surgery??

its all kinda confussing..

Hey, "it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind..." now WHERE will that leave you?

Pre-op one day ... non-op next day ... so how about being 'fluid-op' that be a new terms?
Go for it, I think I just invented it - 'fluid-op' cool, eh? :)

Giggle,
Axélle
PS: but seriously... WHO really cares?

Hi Sis,

Quote from: justmeinoz on June 24, 2012, 05:35:56 AM
I would be unable to exercise, due to a severe back injury that doesn't like staying still.

:P  :P  :P  Would it help if I arranged a visit or two by the GodMother with a branding iron to chase you round the hospital. Perhaps the early ambulatory experience could promote an early and speedy recovery.  ;D  :laugh:

Hugs
Catherine

Quote from: Axélle on July 09, 2012, 11:12:31 AM

PS: but seriously... WHO really cares?

I didnt care before I got on a transfriendly site and had to choose one of the categories, and I was like..
hm... I am not exactly sure... ??

Quote from: Axélle on July 09, 2012, 11:12:31 AM
PS: but seriously... WHO really cares?

Exactly! It's all up to you whether or not you want surgery. I'd say you're non-op seeing as to how you don't want the surgery, despite the fact that fear is your reason (Don't worry, it's one of mine too). The most important thing for you is to be comfortable with who you are, you're still a girl. One of my friends was born with 4 extra teeth than "normal" people, does that make him non-human? No! The same applies here; you can be a girl who just so happens to have a male reproductive system.

I rang my prospective surgeon on Tuesday and he does not have any surgical dates free until the end of February and therefore no recovery time before the start of Uni.
Therefore if I do decide on SRS it won't be  until the end of next year if I eventually decide on it.  That will be the time to get Madam Lash over from Adelaide Catherine Sarah, with her branding irons and whips. :laugh:

In the meantime I have been having a rethink of what the whole question of transition means, and my self-identity as a woman.  I am coming around more to the idea that my genitals do not define who I am, and that if I can function in society on my terms using only HRT, the I will forget about SRS altogether. 

This is in line with what a friend who works in sexual health has told me, of her observations of the path the TS women she has dealt with over the past seven years seem now to be thinking also.

I may settle for an Orchi to get rid of the T from my system, but that is more of a medical decision than one of identity for me.  Either way I will have 18 months to live consciously as non-op and see how it feels.

Karen.

Quote from: justmeinoz on August 04, 2012, 02:09:12 AM
I am coming around more to the idea that my genitals do not define who I am, and that if I can function in society on my terms using only HRT, the I will forget about SRS altogether. 

With ya' Karen. Unless a woman has body dysphoria or wants to experience penetration, SRS would seem at best a luxury. Certainly not necessary to make you female. You've always been and will always be female regardless of your downstairs equipment.

I will keep a journal over the next 18 months and see how things develop.

Huh? Umh! Um .... Ugh

Quote from: justmeinoz on August 04, 2012, 02:09:12 AM
That will be the time to get Madam Lash over from Adelaide Catherine Sarah, with her branding irons and whips. :laugh:

*Catherine stumbling out of a dazed slumber she was in. Opening bloodshot eyes and quivering from the pain of shape knife like sensations in her back, realises she must be "on-call", reads the thread and senses Karen is in distress. Googling "DYI GRS 101", Catherine immediately reaches for her rusty razor blade, tooth pick and tweezers, hoping she gets to Karen before "THAT" woman from Adelaide, bombastically enters the discussion, demanding to be chief surgeon.*

However, on a more serious note.

Quote from: justmeinoz on August 04, 2012, 02:09:12 AM
This is in line with what a friend who works in sexual health has told me, of her observations of the path the TS women she has dealt with over the past seven years seem now to be thinking also.

This is in quite stark contrast to a major psychological change SRS has been renown for. I'd be interested in knowing, Karen, next time you see your friend in sexual health, how this trend of moving away from SRS impacts on the often reported major psychological effect SRS has on those, with respects to now seeing (post-op) that their body is no longer incongruent to their mind. I understood this to be a major impact of surgery, further affirming and validating both the whole process AND the feminine persona.

Secondly, has your friend been able to establish any primary cause or motivation for this trend away from SRS?

Very interesting topic.

Thank you for raising it

Huggs
Catherine

I thought accepting that I was interested in SRS was the easiest part, but... Things I am extremely afraid to the point of running:


- Romantic relationships
- Roller Coasters
- Bugs
- Weddings
- Hospitals
- Pre-operatory wait in a hospital
- Recovery, bound to a bed.
- Not being able to walk on my own.


Blindly saying "I want to do it" is quite easy, but that... Not to mention than any loss of mobility or future loss of quality life will make me re-think everything.



Oh, and yes, I hate hospitals. I only go there to see family members die or agonize. But the last time, with a broken bed that could not be lowered and bleeding every time I needed to make the effort of leaving the bed... Not to mention a mad roommate that would never shut up.


Yet, I don't want to be incomplete, and I am crazy enough to through all the surgery and recovery...

Hi Catherine.

According to my friend, who as I said has been working in the area for a few years now, it seems to parallel  the trend for seeking to transition at a younger age. 

This is anecdotal naturally, but she believes it may be a result of the acceptance of Genderqueer as an acceptable identity these days, giving people a place short of full SRS, at least for a while. 

There are a lot more FtM guys coming out of the Lesbian scene too. Given the limited options the guys have it is possible that their attitude of grudging acceptance of the situation could be causing the girls to look at things anew. 

Young people do seem to be a lot more relaxed about identities these days,  something I have noticed since starting Uni this year. 

I will talk to her more about this when I see her next.

Karen.