If T doesn't start working for me in 1 more year, I'm not gonna take it anymore. It hasn't done anything positive for me and I'm miserable. With my new haircut I feel and look like a butch lesbian and I hate it! If T had done it's job I wouldn't look like a butch lesbian right now. I'm just so angry. I might have to up my dosage and get a shot every week. I'm fine and terrified (b/c I hate shots) at the same time, but I want some changes. I feel I wasted a year on T b/c it has done absolutely nothing except make me feel worse about myself with the weight gain, acne and hair I places I don't want it. Had T done it's job, I wouldn't feel so bad. I'm just so unbelievably angry and depressed that T has done nothing for me.
Sorry to hear that T is not giving you the results you expected. What does your endoc dr say about your results?
If you up your dose it will turn into E, is ur T levels ok all that 1st year?
Quote from: Dominick_81 on March 08, 2012, 11:39:10 AM
If T doesn't start working for me in 1 more year, I'm not gonna take it anymore. It hasn't done anything positive for me and I'm miserable. With my new haircut I feel and look like a butch lesbian and I hate it! If T had done it's job I wouldn't look like a butch lesbian right now. I'm just so angry. I might have to up my dosage and get a shot every week. I'm fine and terrified (b/c I hate shots) at the same time, but I want some changes. I feel I wasted a year on T b/c it has done absolutely nothing except make me feel worse about myself with the weight gain, acne and hair I places I don't want it. Had T done it's job, I wouldn't feel so bad. I'm just so unbelievably angry and depressed that T has done nothing for me.
If you up your dose to more than your body can metabolize it will turn to estrogen and won't do any good.
Body hair growth is a common "side effect" of T. It's only been a year. A very short time in the long run of puberty, which is what taking T does, makes you go through a male puberty.
Why did you start T if I may ask?
Quote from: rexyrex on March 08, 2012, 11:52:42 AM
If you up your dose it will turn into E, is ur T levels ok all that 1st year?
It doesn't exactly happen that way. Over time and with high enough levels it would. The bigger concern would be liver failure, and health/blood problems.
Dominick, it is a difficult process. If you don't believe this "in between" part to be worth it then stopping transition might be a good idea so you can reassess yourself.
Oh Dominick you're like my problem child and you are not much younger than me.
You should have known from the start T is not a miracle drug. It can help you move towards your goals but it's not going to do it for you. You need to do your part. One easy way to do your part is eat a healthy high protein diet and work out. Both of those options naturally raise your testosterone.
Upping your shots is an excellent way to greatly increase your acne and cause your hair to fall out. Also like Nygeel said, you can't live your dream if you don't have a liver.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on March 08, 2012, 01:35:51 PM
You should have known from the start T is not a miracle drug. It can help you move towards your goals but it's not going to do it for you. You need to do your part. One easy way to do your part is eat a healthy high protein diet and work out. Both of those options naturally raise your testosterone.
I will have to say a few things on this. That is much easier said than done, and doing that doesn't always work. I lost 35 lbs and socially there hasn't been any difference. I think part of what Dominick is experiencing is that he is putting in effort (ex: cutting hair, changing clothes, other social cues, and getting T which can be difficult to obtain) without getting a return yet. By doing more (working out) and still getting no results, it makes matters worse.
Quote from: mm on March 08, 2012, 11:42:51 AM
Sorry to hear that T is not giving you the results you expected. What does your endoc dr say about your results?
She said there in the normal male range. There's like a high, low and medium range. I think I'm in the low range, but she said my levels are still a normal male ranger.
Quote from: rexyrex on March 08, 2012, 11:52:42 AM
If you up your dose it will turn into E, is ur T levels ok all that 1st year?
They were higher for a while b/c she didn't know to check my T levels every 3 months. Once I mentioned it to the nurse she mentioned it to the doctor and then I was able to get my T level checked. I'm thinking that might have slowed me down. But Still after all this time I should look different, more masculine in 1 year. I see guys here who have been on T for only a couple months and they look different and have masculines. Very rare is there someone like me who hasn't has change like they should. There's gotta be something wrong why were not changing at all. The dosages were getting, I dunno. But it's frustrating.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 08, 2012, 12:51:21 PM
If you up your dose to more than your body can metabolize it will turn to estrogen and won't do any good.
Body hair growth is a common "side effect" of T. It's only been a year. A very short time in the long run of puberty, which is what taking T does, makes you go through a male puberty.
Why did you start T if I may ask?
That's what happen to me in the beginning, my dosage was too high for a while. But for the last 5,6 months or so they have been in the normal male range.
I started T b/c I wanted to look and pass 100% as male and I wanted a deeper voice. And Also to get a gf... a straight girl.
Quote from: Nygeel on March 08, 2012, 12:52:07 PM
Dominick, it is a difficult process. If you don't believe this "in between" part to be worth it then stopping transition might be a good idea so you can reassess yourself.
I know but when I see all these other guys getting results in just a couple of months on T it's frustrating. Plus I don't want to have a period full time again. It was great not having cramps every month for 3-4 days. But also I'm probably not getting a hysto, I'm not sure what's gonna happen to me. I refuse to go to a gyno. I'd get a hysto if it was all cover by insurance and I didn't have to see gyno.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on March 08, 2012, 01:35:51 PM
Oh Dominick you're like my problem child and you are not much younger than me.
You should have known from the start T is not a miracle drug. It can help you move towards your goals but it's not going to do it for you. You need to do your part. One easy way to do your part is eat a healthy high protein diet and work out. Both of those options naturally raise your testosterone.
Upping your shots is an excellent way to greatly increase your acne and cause your hair to fall out. Also like Nygeel said, you can't live your dream if you don't have a liver.
I know it's not a miracle drug, but I just see most guys getting results in just a couple months and I haven't got'n any positive results.
That's what my doctor said about upping the dosage, acne. She said she can increase my dosage and it will still be in the normal male range but I will get more acne and I don't want that.
I'm too depressed to workout and I don't have the exercise machine I like. I have a stationary bike but I hate it. I like the treadmill. But the last 2 treadmills I had both broken when I started using it consistently. If I had a treadmill I would workout and I can't join a gym b/c I have no money to join a gym. I'm kinda stuck. I sometimes eat one meal a day and I still gain weight. I just have a sucky metabolism.
Quote from: Nygeel on March 08, 2012, 02:15:04 PM
I will have to say a few things on this. That is much easier said than done, and doing that doesn't always work. I lost 35 lbs and socially there hasn't been any difference. I think part of what Dominick is experiencing is that he is putting in effort (ex: cutting hair, changing clothes, other social cues, and getting T which can be difficult to obtain) without getting a return yet. By doing more (working out) and still getting no results, it makes matters worse.
Yes, this true. Though, I could workout more to loose weight, but this sever depression makes it very hard to do anything. I have no energy. Depression takes a lot out of ya.
@Nygeel - Fair enough but I still maintain that in order for life to happen you need to go out and make it happen. I wish the best for Dominick, I really do and I'm sorry he's depressed. He has to make the choice himself to put forth the effort. No person on here or any drug can really do it for him.
Working out also boosts your self-confidence and has proven health benefits. So I don't think it would be wasted even if it didn't transform him into a body builder.
Quote from: Squirrel698 on March 08, 2012, 01:35:51 PM
Oh Dominick you're like my problem child and you are not much younger than me.
You should have known from the start T is not a miracle drug. It can help you move towards your goals but it's not going to do it for you. You need to do your part. One easy way to do your part is eat a healthy high protein diet and work out. Both of those options naturally raise your testosterone.
Upping your shots is an excellent way to greatly increase your acne and cause your hair to fall out. Also like Nygeel said, you can't live your dream if you don't have a liver.
yes, yes, yes.
it is NOT a miracle drug. I have only a tiny bit of facial hair, I have hardly any body hair, my muscles didnt explode out of my arms, my dick isnt huge. Do I get discouraged when i see guys on here who are only a few months on T and have a full face of hair? Sure. But I dont let it bother me too much, the changes come differently. Sometimes it is super slow, sometimes its really fast.
Would you rather just chill out and watch things as they go, even if it takes some time? or just stop T all together and not have anything change?
and as you say, the only changes you have gotten, the body hair you didnt want, why would you take T if you didnt want body hair? You cant just pick and choose what changes you get, you have to accept it as a whole package, take it or leave it.
I just dont understand when guys complain about T changes. I am a guy, therefore I love all the things T does to me, because it makes me, me. I love even the "unappealing" changes, like ass hair, morning boners
Quote from: Squirrel698 on March 08, 2012, 02:28:52 PM
@Nygeel - Fair enough but I still maintain that in order for life to happen you need to go out and make it happen. I wish the best for Dominick, I really do and I'm sorry he's depressed. He has to make the choice himself to put forth the effort. No person on here or any drug can really do it for him.
Working out also boosts your self-confidence and has proven health benefits. So I don't think it would be wasted even if it didn't transform him into a body builder.
For myself and my own experiences working out made me feel worse about myself.
Quote from: Dominick_81 on March 08, 2012, 02:25:32 PM
I started T b/c I wanted to look and pass 100% as male and I wanted a deeper voice. And Also to get a gf... a straight girl.
It's takes time. I know you are looking at a lot of other guys and comparing yourself to them but you need to stop. For your own sanity stop. T isn't going to help you get a gf, nor do you need T to get a gf, straight identified or not.
You also need to work on your confidence. You post a lot about not passing/wondering why you don't pass. I think you do pass, I suspect that you pass a lot more than you realize because all you do is focus on the times you don't pass and just nit pick it to death. Don't focus on the negative so much, focus on the positive instead.
The reason you can eat only one meal a day and still gain weight is because you have slowed your metabolism down by doing that. When you only feed your body a small amount once a day, your body assumes you are starving, so it holds on to the calories for all it's worth.
I just want to be skinny. that would give me a lot of confidence. Being overweight makes me so depressed. And I see how my cousins and other people can eat all this junk food and not gain a pound and they don't workout... it's not fair. While it's true some people have to work at being skinny, others don't. It's not fair, but this life and life sucks and it's so unfair.
Quote from: Elijah on March 08, 2012, 02:30:57 PM
yes, yes, yes.
it is NOT a miracle drug. I have only a tiny bit of facial hair, I have hardly any body hair, my muscles didnt explode out of my arms, my dick isnt huge. Do I get discouraged when i see guys on here who are only a few months on T and have a full face of hair? Sure. But I dont let it bother me too much, the changes come differently. Sometimes it is super slow, sometimes its really fast.
Would you rather just chill out and watch things as they go, even if it takes some time? or just stop T all together and not have anything change?
and as you say, the only changes you have gotten, the body hair you didnt want, why would you take T if you didnt want body hair? You cant just pick and choose what changes you get, you have to accept it as a whole package, take it or leave it.
I just dont understand when guys complain about T changes. I am a guy, therefore I love all the things T does to me, because it makes me, me. I love even the "unappealing" changes, like ass hair, morning boners
I don't want to stop T, I'm just really frustrated after a year of no positive changes.
I'm not a fan of body hair. I don't think it's attractive at all on guys, too much of it anyways. I'm okay with my legs being hair as long as there not overly hairy. I don't like back hair. That's very unattractive and girls don't like it, and I hate it. I cut up my back trying to shave it all, but I can't reach it all. I shave my stomach b/c I don't like stomach hair. If there is hair in places I don't want it, I just shave it, it's not a big deal. It's not a deal breaker for me. I just don't want to be a hairy guy.
My complaint is there are no changes. I knew acne, body hair, and hair loss would come and I'm taking care of it. I wash my face and put on my acne med everyday. I shave unwanted body hair and when I loose my hair I'm getting a wig.
It's frustrating getting called she, her, ma'am all the time especially when you've been on T for over a year.
I remember seeing a before and after pic of you and I think you had great changes. You can actually tell you had changes. Me, ya can't. It's just frustrating.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 08, 2012, 02:43:18 PM
It's takes time. I know you are looking at a lot of other guys and comparing yourself to them but you need to stop. For your own sanity stop. T isn't going to help you get a gf, nor do you need T to get a gf, straight identified or not.
You also need to work on your confidence. You post a lot about not passing/wondering why you don't pass. I think you do pass, I suspect that you pass a lot more than you realize because all you do is focus on the times you don't pass and just nit pick it to death. Don't focus on the negative so much, focus on the positive instead.
The reason you can eat only one meal a day and still gain weight is because you have slowed your metabolism down by doing that. When you only feed your body a small amount once a day, your body assumes you are starving, so it holds on to the calories for all it's worth.
I dunno. I highly doubt a straight girl would date a trans guy if their not in transition. I mean every girl is different, but that's just how I feel.
My confidence keeps going down every time I get mis-gendered. I was thinking I was passing, but when I get a her, miss, she, ma'am, it brings my confidence back down again. I seem to only pass with a hat on. I don't want to wear a hat just to get a pass. I wanna pass without a hat too.
Yeah, mother keeps telling me that too if I don't eat all day. But if I eat I still gain weight. I can't win either way.
You have to train your metabolism, it takes time. Eat several small meals a day, and exercise regularly. I'm no expert in it, I'm heavy myself and hardly exercise. I suggest googling it.
Girls do and like a variety of things, not all like the same thing, not all do the same thing. Some girls dig guys with back hair, some don't and yes, there are straight girls that have been in a relationship with a pre-T trans man.
It's hard, it really is, to be called ma'am/miss/she/etc when you feel you are passing, but you have to try, you have to try and tell yourself something, anything to get through/over it. "I'll never see them again/oh they see women all day and it was just out of habit/they have poor eyesight/my hair is longer so they assumed something" these are all things I tell myself. Yes people still call me ma'am sometimes. It's easy for them to do because my hair is longer, sometimes I sound overly cheerful, everyone where I work is a woman, I work very hard to control my feelings towards it. I suggest you try that too.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 08, 2012, 03:26:10 PM
there are straight girls that have been in a relationship with a pre-T trans man.
I was actually one of these men.
If you present yourself in a certain demeanor, there's a lot of girls that will have no trouble seeing you as "manly" (since that seems like what you want to be seen as you). Like I said on your other thread about showing off some self confidence, it will have an effect on how much you pass, but I'd also like to add is that often has an effect on how often you'll have someone who will want to date you. I get you have depression, but a lot of society tend to stray away from people who seem outwardly nervous and crestfallen about their life. You also said something about guys shrugging things off like getting called a girl. I actually know very few guys who would do this, especially without correcting someone.
As other people were saying, testosterone is not a miracle worker - yes, it helps a lot, but if you already have a lot of other things going on that may prevent you from passing and being happy, testosterone isn't necessarily nullify those things.
This is not to sound negative or something... Not sure how to put this delicately... Not everyone reacts in the same way to T? For example when someone's AR gen is damaged or slightly different? And there are many more situations when the body will react only very weakly to T or this reaction is very slow? There are many cis-men who can not grow a beard and do not have hair on their arms and legs, etc.
Quote from: Andy8715 on March 08, 2012, 03:26:10 PM
You have to train your metabolism, it takes time. Eat several small meals a day, and exercise regularly. I'm no expert in it, I'm heavy myself and hardly exercise. I suggest googling it.
Girls do and like a variety of things, not all like the same thing, not all do the same thing. Some girls dig guys with back hair, some don't and yes, there are straight girls that have been in a relationship with a pre-T trans man.
It's hard, it really is, to be called ma'am/miss/she/etc when you feel you are passing, but you have to try, you have to try and tell yourself something, anything to get through/over it. "I'll never see them again/oh they see women all day and it was just out of habit/they have poor eyesight/my hair is longer so they assumed something" these are all things I tell myself. Yes people still call me ma'am sometimes. It's easy for them to do because my hair is longer, sometimes I sound overly cheerful, everyone where I work is a woman, I work very hard to control my feelings towards it. I suggest you try that too.
Yeah, that's something I gotta work on. I sleep so late most of the time that I don't eat anything until the afternoon or later afternoon.
What about girlie girls? Will they date transmen in transition or not in transition?
Thanks Andy. I'll work on it. :)
@JasonRX: Awesome!
It's hard to work on self confidence when your overweight. My weight just bothers me so much. So I don't have any self confidence. If I was skinny, I'd have a whole lot more confidence.
@Artemis: I know not everyone reacts to T the same way, but the majority of guys I've seen look different, more masculine within a couple months on T, so it frustrates me when I've has no positive changes in over a year and still look exactly the same.
If it makes you feel any better I have been on T since Jan -- I know only a couple months - but have had absolutely no changes -- no pimples, no voice drop, no hair -- nadda
I look at it like puberty -- if you look through your year book it's like boys grow at different rates -- I remember this skinny small guy my freshman year and over his junior year summer he shot up and grew muscles. As opposed to some of my friends who had beards in middle school.
My doctor told me that she is going to push my T levels to the mid to high range for 2-3 years and then once it looks like I have gone through the majority of changes then she will get me in the normal range for a guy my age.
Have you thought of switching the type of T you are taking? I have heard that some folks react differently from the natural and the man synethesized version of T. Just a thought
QuoteFor myself and my own experiences working out made me feel worse about myself.
I agree 100% percent. For me while working out I just feel so fat and out of shape.
Its been 1.5 years on T for me and it wasn't until recently that my facial hair has really started coming in. I'm 240lbs and I'm 5'5" so I understand the overweight thing. TBH being overweight is my biggest downer right now.
I work out...occasionally. I don't do it as much because I feel like crap doing it and it requires sooo much moving. UH, I hate moving and my binder rolls really bad and its just uncomfortable when working out in it. Now that I got my own car though, I can go to the state park 15miles away and hike...so maybe I'll start losing weight. Hiking is the only time I enjoy moving.
I'd like to offer up some advice. For me I weigh almost 300 pounds I've gained 30 pounds in the last 7 months on T. I work over 45 hours a week and I've made the choice to get workouts in 5 days a week. Working out does suck when results don't show but if you do the right workouts and being on T it will help give you a better shape. I know it's easier said then done but working out does make you feel better. And once you start gaining more muscle your confidence will go up. It has for me anyway.
Working out is like a lot of other things - at first it sucks. It's actually .... WORK. It's hard ... it's difficult to motivate and fit into your schedule and it's a hell of a lot easier to just say screw it and fall back into that comfortable depression you've grown so familiar with.
If you stick with the workouts though, there are high chances you will feel better ... and look better. But you have to want it more than you want to stay depressed (and by that, I mean it's the easier route - to NOT do anything).
I'm not on T but working out for a year now has definitely changed my body shape. Working out can actually raise (to a small extent) natural T levels. It seems I'm getting muscles like some of the guys here who are on T and the only thing I've done differently is work out. I know there's only so far I can go with that. Working out isn't going to grow me a beard or anything, but I'm fine with that. I never had any intentions of being a body builder, I just wanted to be more fit and muscular.
You're really letting all this stuff drag you down more and fixating on things - you've got this "perfect vision" in your head of what's supposed to be happening or how you're supposed to look and it's not happening that way and you can't see other ways to make yourself more comfortable and confident.
And like everyone else said, hormones effect every person differently.
In the scheme of things, a year isn't a long time, just be patient. It's hard, but you will get there :)
As for being fat, well that didn't happen over night, so don't expect to lose it over night, start excersizing slowly, build up to bigger things, and don't overwhelm yourself.
I weigh over 300 pounds as I comfort ate to crazy obesity, I did it for years, I've lost 37.6 pounds in just over a month, 3 of those have weeks I've been on t. But I've had to work very hard and eat a very sensible diet for that.
Www.bodybuilding.com (http://www.bodybuilding.com)
Go there, read the fat loss section. Read the other stuff too if you want to.
But losing weight isn't hard, burn more than you force down your neck and you'll be fine.
Track everything you put in via myfitmesspal or similar, get off your ass and use natures treadmill.
intermittent fasting can and does work, but you need to be sensible about it - again link above.
If you are stuck between a rock and a hard place and can't move the rock, ask for help and someone will help,you move it.
I'm really glad that T is helping me but I'd take it even if it didn't. I was supposed to be naturally producing it, and I don't care if the effects are good, bad, or neutral, I just want to feel like I'm what I'm supposed to be.
I love the acne, I love the body odor, I love the hair in stupid places. I love those things because I love humans and I love being one. Sometimes I don't pass. But I'm not faking anything anymore. It's okay. Lower your expectations.
Quote from: Felix on March 09, 2012, 02:29:35 AM
I'm really glad that T is helping me but I'd take it even if it didn't. I was supposed to be naturally producing it, and I don't care if the effects are good, bad, or neutral, I just want to feel like I'm what I'm supposed to be.
I love the acne, I love the body odor, I love the hair in stupid places. I love those things because I love humans and I love being one. Sometimes I don't pass. But I'm not faking anything anymore. It's okay. Lower your expectations.
yep, thats exactly how I feel... except for the "I love humans" part lol
Everyone else has really good advice. Pretty much everything I want to say except...I really think you ought to see a professional about this if you aren't already. You're obviously very depressed and have low self-esteem. While this is a support site and you should definitely keep coming here for that reason, talking to someone who is trained and objective would good idea.
I can't remember, but did you get on T by informed consent or did you have a therapist's letter? If you saw a therapist, I recommend that you talk to them about the problems you're having. There's only so much we at Susan's can help you.
Quote from: Felix on March 09, 2012, 02:29:35 AM
I'm really glad that T is helping me but I'd take it even if it didn't. I was supposed to be naturally producing it , and I don't care if the effects are good, bad, or neutral, I just want to feel like I'm what I'm supposed to be.
This is why I don't understand why any non-queer identified FTM could stop taking testosterone. I see all these videos on Youtube and sure, they give their own reasons for it...but they always still leave me with, "But if you were supposed to be a guy, why would you want estrogen dominating your body again? Someone is bound to come up to you and tell you that most men are dominated by testosterone, not estrogen..." I can even see the longer this guys are off testosterone how they slowly feminize and sort of revert back to the way they used to look, because not all changes are permanent. Some of the guys are just like, "Oh yeah, I got off testosterone because the opportunity presented itself..." I don't know it just perplexes me and saddens me at the same time, because I don't think doing something like that would ever fall into my realm of thinking, unless it seemed like it was a threat to my life.
@JasonRX I know a guy that stopped after a few years. He had an easily grown full beard, a deep voice, body hair, top surgery, and bottom surgery. The thing that made him most dysphoric was his shots so he stopped.
Quote from: Nygeel on March 09, 2012, 10:31:58 AM
@JasonRX I know a guy that stopped after a few years. He had an easily grown full beard, a deep voice, body hair, top surgery, and bottom surgery. The thing that made him most dysphoric was his shots so he stopped.
There's always implantable pellets.
Also, not taking any sort of hormones after bottom surgery can cause a lot of bone density issues, so there's actually health complications that would come along with that.
Quote from: JasonRX on March 09, 2012, 10:47:01 AM
There's always implantable pellets.
Also, not taking any sort of hormones after bottom surgery can cause a lot of bone density issues, so there's actually health complications that would come along with that.
He didn't have his ovaries removed, completely safe.
I am seeing a counselor. I've been seeing her for over 10 years. She know everything that's going on.
I'm gonna try to set a workout routine for myself and lose this weight once and for all.
Thanks guys for all the responses.
Quote from: Nygeel on March 09, 2012, 01:21:54 PM
He didn't have his ovaries removed, completely safe.
If he didn't have his ovaries remove, isn't there a chance he could still have his period unless he was post-menopausal?
I could see a lot of complications coming from that and it doesn't seem completely safe to me. That's why I assume he had his ovaries removed.
I don't think so because there's no uterus. my grandma had everything but a small piece of her ovaries out. No period, but no menopause either because she had a small amount of E.
Quote from: JasonRX on March 09, 2012, 01:52:09 PM
If he didn't have his ovaries remove, isn't there a chance he could still have his period unless he was post-menopausal?
I could see a lot of complications coming from that and it doesn't seem completely safe to me. That's why I assume he had his ovaries removed.
Not sure. I know he has a doctor monitoring him and that a year without sex hormones likely wont do any damage. Long term, probably...but he's got a doctor. No problems.
Quote from: JasonRX on March 09, 2012, 10:47:01 AM
There's always implantable pellets.
Also, not taking any sort of hormones after bottom surgery can cause a lot of bone density issues, so there's actually health complications that would come along with that.
Pellets are extremely expensive, and while some are able to get insurance coverage for it, not all are.
Quote from: JasonRX on March 09, 2012, 01:52:09 PM
If he didn't have his ovaries remove, isn't there a chance he could still have his period unless he was post-menopausal?
I could see a lot of complications coming from that and it doesn't seem completely safe to me. That's why I assume he had his ovaries removed.
You can get your uterus removed while leaving in the ovaries.
Ah dude, it will be OK! I was on T for a full year before I could grow any semblance of facial hair & now it comes in pretty nicely....yet I know of guys who have been on T for YEARS and can barely grow scruff. It's all about genetics and your individual body. Hang in there!!!
Thanks!
Quote from: JasonRX on March 09, 2012, 10:09:13 AM
This is why I don't understand why any non-queer identified FTM could stop taking testosterone. I see all these videos on Youtube and sure, they give their own reasons for it...but they always still leave me with, "But if you were supposed to be a guy, why would you want estrogen dominating your body again? Someone is bound to come up to you and tell you that most men are dominated by testosterone, not estrogen..." I can even see the longer this guys are off testosterone how they slowly feminize and sort of revert back to the way they used to look, because not all changes are permanent. Some of the guys are just like, "Oh yeah, I got off testosterone because the opportunity presented itself..." I don't know it just perplexes me and saddens me at the same time, because I don't think doing something like that would ever fall into my realm of thinking, unless it seemed like it was a threat to my life.
I have a whole other way of looking at this. What is natural for me, is what's natural for the body I got. That's reality. Fantasy is thinking that my body needs more T than what it's naturally producing to
be normal. The "supposed to be" only exists in my mind, but I'm still forced to deal with the physical reality that is. Obviously, that's a opposite viewpoint, but that's the way I think about it. I wouldn't let it make you sad though ... you've got your view on it and other people have theirs.
And @Dominick_81 - it's gonna be tough to motivate, but stick with the workout routine I really do think it will help. Exercise is even supposed to raise endorphin levels - which would naturally counteract depression.
Quote from: insideontheoutside on March 10, 2012, 01:39:26 PM
I have a whole other way of looking at this. What is natural for me, is what's natural for the body I got. That's reality. Fantasy is thinking that my body needs more T than what it's naturally producing to be normal. The "supposed to be" only exists in my mind, but I'm still forced to deal with the physical reality that is. Obviously, that's a opposite viewpoint, but that's the way I think about it. I wouldn't let it make you sad though ... you've got your view on it and other people have theirs.
You have to bear mind to the fact that there are people with naturally high levels of hormones in their body, some of who have doctors who insist they go on hormones to correct it. These people are not trans - so, I get what you're saying, but from a medical and scientific approach, the hormones your body produce may not be always right or healthy for you. It's almost like saying that the amount of insulin your body produces for you will always be right and healthy and you should do nothing to replace it. What you said doesn't make me sad - it's just a totally different way of looking at things that I don't necessarily agree with. And I'm okay with that. I read why you went off hormones and you said they made you feel crazy - that's a more legitimate reason than "oh, because I was given a chance" anyway.
Quote from: Dominick_81 on March 09, 2012, 01:49:51 PM
I am seeing a counselor. I've been seeing her for over 10 years. She know everything that's going on.
I'm gonna try to set a workout routine for myself and lose this weight once and for all.
Thanks guys for all the responses.
I'm glad you have a therapist. I hope you feel you can trust her and derive good benefit from the relationship.
I think a workout routine, or any way you can find to incorporate more physical activity into your everyday life, is worth going to great lengths to make happen. I'm happy with my weight but I feel bad when I don't exercise enough. Using your body in good ways will make you happy. :)
Thanks! Hopefully I can get in a routine soon.