I'm a bisexual male and I experience it in many places. It's because I don't conform how to men are suppose to act. I've had people questioning my sexuality, and then asking me how I could my children's father. They also have said stuff about my girlfriend and whether or not the children or mine.
It's been awhile since I have experienced discrimination. When it did happen to me I refused to let it control me. I have three children who accepts me and an ex who does not. It is her that will need to sort out her own anger and not I who needs to explain why I am who I am. I am happy and I feel sorry for my ex (she left long before she knew I was transgender but did know about my intersex condition..her leaving had nothing to do with that).
I just feel sorry for them because it takes a sad person to try to point out the faults in others. It takes someone who knows they have faults of their own to try to see others have them too...and then try to exploit it.
I once got fired from a casino. They hired me but wanted my birth certificate. I had to explain the situation and why my birth certificate was under a male name. They tore up my papers on the spot and asked me to leave. Best not to concentrate on bad experiences though.
While I was in the 50-50 stage of my transition I had to find a new place to live and went to look at an apartment that was up for rent. When the landlord greeted me I could immediately tell from his reaction that he did not want me as a tenant. He rushed through the motions of showing me the place and was visibly annoyed at having to do so. (I did not get the apartment)
It wasn't all bad though. The next place I looked at, which was nicer and cheaper, was owned by a gay gentleman and his boyfriend. When I showed up at the last minute some other person had just gotten the apartment, but when I met the landlord he took one look at me and said "You look like just the kind of person we want living here!", called the other person up, cancelled and gave me the place instead. I guess it goes both ways some times.
Quote from: MariaMx on September 13, 2012, 07:25:59 AM
called the other person up, cancelled and gave me the place instead.
Talk about being discriminated against....
Quote from: Dahlia on September 15, 2012, 01:46:33 PM
Talk about being discriminated against....
I was thinking the same thing. I would be just as nervous having a landlord who denied someone residence because of sexuality factors as a landlord who cancelled their apartment agreement because of sexuality factors.
It's just as bad both ways, IMO.
I've experienced it at work. Just look for the thread titled, 'My company stabbed me in the back' for details. It's an ongoing case and it seems to be working.
Quote from: Annah on September 16, 2012, 04:39:59 AM
I was thinking the same thing. I would be just as nervous having a landlord who denied someone residence because of sexuality factors as a landlord who cancelled their apartment agreement because of sexuality factors.
It's all good and I believe there was more too it than just a sexuality factor. I think he saw me as less of a potential trouble maker and he had had lots of problems with wild partyin' tenants in the past. Btw, the landlord and his bf turned out to be very nice people and they are today my dad and his wife's best friends.
"Where have you experienced discrimination?"
From practically EVERYONE that knows my history.
"Acceptance" and discrimination actually go nicely hand in hand... in case that has not been noticed as yet.
If you just happen to be about you are -accepted- (how nice, and not chased away!) but essentially being "cut" in every way thinkable...
This, so as not to look bad to others, supporting such outrages behaviour like MtF transition.
It seems the ultimate unforgivable sin... i.e. worse than quenching the Spirit.
And in THIS... all denominations including atheists seem in perfect alignment.
Amazing, eh?
Axélle
Quote from: MariaMx on September 16, 2012, 08:00:20 AM
It's all good and I believe there was more too it than just a sexuality factor. I think he saw me as less of a potential trouble maker and he had had lots of problems with wild partyin' tenants in the past. Btw, the landlord and his bf turned out to be very nice people and they are today my dad and his wife's best friends.
to play devil's advocate...the landlord at the first apartment u looked at probably thought the same thing when he saw a non ts looking for an apt after u (less of a potential trouble maker).
Quote from: ShaunaNinjagirl on September 13, 2012, 06:34:01 AM
I once got fired from a casino. They hired me but wanted my birth certificate. I had to explain the situation and why my birth certificate was under a male name. They tore up my papers on the spot and asked me to leave. Best not to concentrate on bad experiences though.
That was a rather short sighted Neanderthal reaction on their part!
Not to stick up for casinos (except for the fact that their drink prices are really good) but there are very, very, extremely tight state laws regarding employment resulting from them being pretty much all mobbed up. On top of that you have millions and millions of dollars in cash moving through there, making them a target for every scam artist, grifter, thief, chiseler and cheat - so it only makes sense that they want to know exactly who they are hiring.
I'm lucky to live in a liberal place. The only discrimination I've had is being passed over for an office job because I looked too young.
Quote from: tekla on September 16, 2012, 01:02:03 PM
Not to stick up for casinos (except for the fact that their drink prices are really good) but there are very, very, extremely tight state laws regarding employment resulting from them being pretty much all mobbed up. On top of that you have millions and millions of dollars in cash moving through there, making them a target for every scam artist, grifter, thief, chiseler and cheat - so it only makes sense that they want to know exactly who they are hiring.
You have a valid point considering casino employment! I'm assuming that her appearance shouldn't be a problem for anyone hiring elsewhere because she looks quite nice and very acceptable.
The casino said that it would be against the dress code for a boy to have long hair, that was how they viewed me since my birth certificate said male. They also complained that the only reason they hired me was because they thought I was a biological girl. My agreements fell on deaf ears and they were ignorant and pigheaded so I just left.
I work in a seniors home now, and I am treated well. The only hard thing is having to wear a hair net, and that makes me look less feminine, but I still got called a very nice lady by the very old woman with senile dementia yesterday. I suppose that is good. :laugh:
Well, I learned from past experiences that I shouldn't tell anyone I am trans, but I did tell some people that I am attracted to men. That didn't go over very well, and it got me jumped in the locker room at school. Here's the real kicker of the story: I was bullied throughout my entire school career, so I learned jujitsu; I beat the crap out of the guys who were attacking me for being "gay" (I'm technically pansexual, but that's irrelevant) and I got into trouble...
Quote from: DianaP on September 16, 2012, 03:37:13 PM
Well, I learned from past experiences that I shouldn't tell anyone I am trans, but I did tell some people that I am attracted to men. That didn't go over very well, and it got me jumped in the locker room at school. Here's the real kicker of the story: I was bullied throughout my entire school career, so I learned jujitsu; I beat the crap out of the guys who were attacking me for being "gay" (I'm technically pansexual, but that's irrelevant) and I got into trouble...
Uh-oh Saturday School for you girl! ;D
I live in Texas :P it's a given but eh eff those people who would try. I am me and damn proud and won't let those turds get me down like that anymore.
Specifically though? I was fired after coming out at a gas station, the first place I worked at was cool because the manager was openly gay and supported me, he even took me outside to talk after a customer decided to call me some wonderfully colorful slurs. We talked a bit and he was the best boss I've ever had. I had to transfer from there though because I was only training T_T that's when it got rough because one of the ceo's or something I dont know who, they came in and saw me with nails done and makeup on. He was clearly put off by me and next thing I know I am being fired for not working as hard as I could. Gotta love those slimy work arounds they do when firing you. Oh well :D
Not to resurrect a 5 or 6 month old thread, but at least its not 1 or 2 years old. lol. Just wanted to add my discrimination experience.
I was working at a garage in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. I started working there as Marshall. Well, I came out at work as trans, let it be for a few months. Then slowly started trying to look more and more female to transition at work. My boss came over and asked me to not transition at work, told me that his business partner was a Jehovah's witness and to please wait a little while. Well after waiting a few months I called my boss up early in the morning, I was in full girl mode, looked very convincing, and was dressed appropriately according to dress code, only in female clothes. Well I told him that I needed to go full time, how stressful it was switching back and forth, and that I couldn't get any help unless I was full time for like 3 months without switching back and forth, and that it was nessecary for my well being.
He said that if that was my plan i needed to find somewhere else to work. So ive been without work for 3 weeks. luckily i got an interview for this week at a call center that has 3 other tgirls working there already. Really excited
I've experienced discrimination practically everywhere I have ever presented as female. Not from everyone, mind you, but it's an awful feeling to dress up nice and go out to have a pleasant evening, only to deal with at least one random ->-bleeped-<- calling me a name or telling someone they're glad they're not like me.
I've run into the occasional friend from my various social circles while dressed up, only to never be spoken to by them again. It's usually preceded by noticing they're checking me out, then they see it's someone familiar, then they realize it's me...
My mother and sister made my home a place of discomfort, making fun of me for an hour at a time for being a sissy, offering me a tampon, and even (from my own mother's mouth) being called a sicko.
The only time nobody at all has anything nasty to say is when I'm dressed conservatively, keep to myself and avoid making eye contact with anyone, but what kind of life is that?
The only happy note here is that the first time I passed I was avoided by someone I knew. I tried saying hello, and he crossed the street to avoid me. I got upset, but found out later that he didn't know it was me, he thought I was a "stuck-up conservative b*tch" who was going to try and pitch some religious or political propaganda at him. XD When he found out it was me in women's clothing he was relieved and gave me a big hug.
I'd never felt better about myself than I did then.
Lindsey,
Sometimes when we lose a job it's only because something better and more appropriate is coming up in our lives. That's always been my experience.
Lenore,
You know the saying, "we can't choose our family, but we can always choose our friends!" Or something like that. There are times when family member's familiarity morphs into a contemptuous and toxic relationship, at that time you need to cut them off and break the umbilical and move on for your own good. I had to do this with my mother and sister for a ten year period and it worked. They found out that I wasn't going to tolerate their mean spirited, manipulative and demeaning behavior towards me and eventually changed their attitude completely. Sometimes a well selected handful of friends who love and accept you will have to be your family.
Quote from: Shantel on February 04, 2013, 08:51:43 AM
Lenore,
You know the saying, "we can't choose our family, but we can always choose our friends!" Or something like that. There are times when family member's familiarity morphs into a contemptuous and toxic relationship, at that time you need to cut them off and break the umbilical and move on for your own good. I had to do this with my mother and sister for a ten year period and it worked. They found out that I wasn't going to tolerate their mean spirited, manipulative and demeaning behavior towards me and eventually changed their attitude completely. Sometimes a well selected handful of friends who love and accept you will have to be your family.
Yeah, I tell myself (and others, when necessary) that it's all a part of growing up for some of us. I was born into the wrong body, the wrong community, and the wrong family, and nobody can fix it for me, it's my job to do that, and what I learn along the way has given me a lot more of what really matters than if I had stayed back home, buckled down and gotten a job at the feed store or whatever. XD
Thanks for reaffirming this for me!
Quote from: LenoreKatz on February 04, 2013, 03:47:14 PM
Yeah, I tell myself (and others, when necessary) that it's all a part of growing up for some of us. I was born into the wrong body, the wrong community, and the wrong family, and nobody can fix it for me, it's my job to do that, and what I learn along the way has given me a lot more of what really matters than if I had stayed back home, buckled down and gotten a job at the feed store or whatever. XD
Thanks for reaffirming this for me!
We're here for you sweetie!
the company I was just fired from.
Quote from: Keaira on February 08, 2013, 04:52:22 AM
the company I was just fired from.
Fired? That's awful in these times especially, I'm sorry! What happened?
Here are the two most prominent examples of discrimination I can think of...
The first happened almost a year ago. I was out, and passing was very so-so. Well, a friend and I went to grab coffee at a local coffee shop and since the day was decent (chilly but not too cold) we sat outside drinking our coffee and talking. A guy walking up the side walk looked at me, and asked if "I was a man?" I tried to ignore him at which point he got more belligerent saying "WTF, you are?" My friend told him to get lost and stop being an ass, at which point he told me that I should "keep my perversions to myself and not dress in women's clothing in public where children could see it" before he walked off. I was slightly upset, but this nice lady sitting behind us really cheered me up by telling me I was brave and not to let that jerk bring me down.
The next one happened about 4 months ago. There was a law school meet & greet up in DC and I decided to visit. Well, one of the things the schools have you do as sign your name when you visit their table. I have yet to legally change my name making the whole thing problematic. All the deans & assistant deans of admissions were nice and understanding about the whole thing, except one. The Washington & Lee representative saw it, chuckled and made a point to refer to me twice using male pronouns. I didn't let it bother me and instead decided not to apply to any school that would give that bigot a job.
The simple answer to that question is EVERYWHERE.
I've had to talk my way out of a coupe of fights, as a result I don't go to town on a weekend (too many drunks)
I've had someone who claimed to be a friend start a facebook site to poke fun at pre-op transsexuals days after I came out.
In my last job I was the golden child who could do no wrong, then I came out & could do nothing right, when they were making preperations to make redundancies the first question they asked the union rep was what was the law on making a transsexual redundant.
I've had shop workers smirk in my face, some wouldn't even wait for me to get out the door before announcing in a loud voice "HE had nail varnish" or my favourite "did you see THAT?"
The list could go on but it'll just get me depressed
Dont get depressed, just remember the best part about being a tgirl...You Can Hit Like A Man! Beat a motherfockers a$$.
Quote from: Shantel on February 08, 2013, 08:10:02 AM
Fired? That's awful in these times especially, I'm sorry! What happened?
They said it's because of too many write-ups.
2 weeks ago I was suspended after a robot crashed into the back doormof its press. No biggie. Ive seen robots crash. In fact, one tech said he had a robot crash hard enough that he had to rebuild its end of arm tool ( the piece that takesthe part off of the mold and onto the cconveyor belt).
They weren't written up over it. Mine had no damage to it whatsoever. When I came in the next day I was drug tested and suspended pending the test results. What should have been 3 days off turned into 7 days. By that time I was told to consider this as paid time off because "The investigation was still ongoing."
When I was finally asked to come in, I was told I had too many write-ups, this being my 3rd and final one. They didnt have me sign anything, just nothing. Nor did I see this write-up.
When I came in the next day to get my things I dressed as nicely as possible. Just so they would wonder if I found a job already and signed in with Blue Fox Graphics as my company name.
I am supposed to be getting a phone call today from the EEOC Investigator about it. I'll be sure to tell her about how my supervisor liked to squeeze past me and put his arms around my waist. =)
Quote from: Keaira on February 12, 2013, 12:04:22 PM
They said it's because of too many write-ups.
2 weeks ago I was suspended after a robot crashed into the back doormof its press. No biggie. Ive seen robots crash. In fact, one tech said he had a robot crash hard enough that he had to rebuild its end of arm tool ( the piece that takesthe part off of the mold and onto the cconveyor belt).
They weren't written up over it. Mine had no damage to it whatsoever. When I came in the next day I was drug tested and suspended pending the test results. What should have been 3 days off turned into 7 days. By that time I was told to consider this as paid time off because "The investigation was still ongoing."
When I was finally asked to come in, I was told I had too many write-ups, this being my 3rd and final one. They didnt have me sign anything, just nothing. Nor did I see this write-up.
When I came in the next day to get my things I dressed as nicely as possible. Just so they would wonder if I found a job already and signed in with Blue Fox Graphics as my company name.
I am supposed to be getting a phone call today from the EEOC Investigator about it. I'll be sure to tell her about how my supervisor liked to squeeze past me and put his arms around my waist. =)
Yes take the bastards to the cleaners, you definitely have a case there!
Sure sounds like it to me. You got em by the nuts and bolts.
well, talking with the EEOC Investigator today, it turns out that Valeo decided to decline my settlement offer and didn't offer a counter settlement. And I will be getting papers to sign for a 2nd set of charges against Valeo. So, I guess it's a fight. I will keep you posted, but I want to make my case something of an example. I want people to see that transition is not a joke, that it's hard and could cost you your job. But I also hope to show that it's not the end of the world, you can fight for your rights and hopefully win. There is help out there.
Quote from: Keaira on February 12, 2013, 06:02:22 PM
well, talking with the EEOC Investigator today, it turns out that Valeo decided to decline my settlement offer and didn't offer a counter settlement. And I will be getting papers to sign for a 2nd set of charges against Valeo. So, I guess it's a fight. I will keep you posted, but I want to make my case something of an example. I want people to see that transition is not a joke, that it's hard and could cost you your job. But I also hope to show that it's not the end of the world, you can fight for your rights and hopefully win. There is help out there.
Start writing down some of the events you experienced with dates and names of everyone who was present or might have witnessed things. Businesses gat their asses kicked by EEOC quite frequently and fear their interventions. Good luck!
Quote from: Keaira on February 12, 2013, 06:02:22 PM
well, talking with the EEOC Investigator today, it turns out that Valeo decided to decline my settlement offer and didn't offer a counter settlement. And I will be getting papers to sign for a 2nd set of charges against Valeo. So, I guess it's a fight. I will keep you posted, but I want to make my case something of an example. I want people to see that transition is not a joke, that it's hard and could cost you your job. But I also hope to show that it's not the end of the world, you can fight for your rights and hopefully win. There is help out there.
Good luck!
Just about everywhere for me as well... but especially UPS and Vons. :icon_flamed:
When I first started transitioning and before I started HRT I was very non passable. One day I went to a pub with my friends. After I had got my drink the landlord came up to me and told me to leave saying that "he didn't want my sort" in his establishment.
That's about the worst discrimination I have suffered and it had me in tears for days.
Quote from: girl you look fierce on February 08, 2013, 08:36:45 AM
Well 99% of the discrimination I experienced in life was pre-transition, then I got a lot for being effeminate in other people's eyes.
Me too! I grew up being referred to as "it" ... even the bullies didn't pick on me because there was 'no glory' in it. By my later teens I was assumed to be a girl in drag - it was the 1960s and early 70s and nobody knew anything about TS back then.
After transition, my background was only known to doctors but I had a few issues over the years. One was going to a hospital clinic for a sore throat and the doctor wanted to do a pelvic exam - he was transferred to a remote northern post after that. Another was a doctor who kept asking me what my name had been - he lost his license to practice after I filed a complaint with the College of Physicians & Surgeons. The last incident was a few years ago when I needed to have surgery. I met with the anesthesiologist beforehand, an East Indian doctor, but when the day for surgery came, I had a different anesthesiologist - apparently the East Indian declined because of my background and his "religious beliefs".
Quote from: Northern Jane on June 10, 2013, 06:16:12 AM
After transition, my background was only known to doctors but I had a few issues over the years. One was going to a hospital clinic for a sore throat and the doctor wanted to do a pelvic exam - he was transferred to a remote northern post after that. Another was a doctor who kept asking me what my name had been - he lost his license to practice after I filed a complaint with the College of Physicians & Surgeons. The last incident was a few years ago when I needed to have surgery. I met with the anesthesiologist beforehand, an East Indian doctor, but when the day for surgery came, I had a different anesthesiologist - apparently the East Indian declined because of my background and his "religious beliefs".
Thank you so much for fighting back against those ignoramuses and making things easier for people like me.
_Plenty of places,I was passed over 4 times for an Inspector's job at the bus company despite having an exemplary record and no accidents for 3 years and for a Driving Instructor's job.I could never prove it of course and eventually after 2 assaults and 2 robberys became disilusioned and burned out,I went off with stress and depression and never went back.
Quote from: big kim on June 11, 2013, 07:09:48 AM
_Plenty of places,I was passed over 4 times for an Inspector's job at the bus company despite having an exemplary record and no accidents for 3 years and for a Driving Instructor's job.I could never prove it of course and eventually after 2 assaults and 2 robberys became disilusioned and burned out,I went off with stress and depression and never went back.
I can definately identify with you kim but with me it's big trucks instead of busses.
I think the better question for me anyway is, when haven't I been discriminated against? When I was younger being kicked out of places because I looked like I was up to no good. Many many job opportunities lost because I have long hair. I could go on but won't.
When life gives you lemons, I am all for making lemonade but when that lemonade starts tasting like pee, you gotta wonder what kind of lemons life is giving you.
One moment which sort of opened my eyes a little wider because i wasn't expecting it is 'reverse discrimination' as a trans girl.
I was walking down the street like i do everyday to wind down and someone yelled out of their car window,
"stop dressing like a boy!" It struck me sideways, wasn't expecting that at all, it hurt all the same probably because of the intent.
One of the big things about discrimination and discrimination laws are they are written according to the politcal flavor of the day depending on how bad the local, state or federal politions want to stay in office. This is just my opinion but I believe these folks could care less about me or anyone else.
What someone wrote about being refused a job because of a dress code and being a "boy with long hair", I have faced this discrimination all of my life. I know in some jobs, looks are an important factor but as long as person is clean, respectful, experienced, don't dress like a slob and countless other things, what gives a person the right to control a sort of self expression of another person. This goes for everyone no matter what. I know there are some jobs to where it may be a safety hazard but I can 1 wear it in a pony tail and/or 2 stuff it under a hat or wear a hairnet. So sorry, no excuses there on this one.
Laws don't change attitudes and besides they are rarely enforced. If someone wishes to hire on in say a retail environment with a predominantly adult clientele and that person has tattoos and piercings, he/she more than likely won't get hired because their appearance isn't conducive to that employer's idea of what they want to interface with their customer base. Discrimination? Yes it is! Can you prove it and force him to hire you? Not a chance! It is what it is, either make yourself become a good fit or move on!
The funny thing is Shantel, I have know people that look very "respectable", maybe a little too much so, with extremely good positions that are more like robots and have the personality of a cardboard box and actually climb the ladder. I also know some that look like they belong to a biker club, outlaw not the weekend doctor, lawyer, CEO type, with tat sleeves, piecings in places I don't even want to know, and just have an extreme rough edge about them but are extremely articulate and have interesting and captivating personalities. Me personally I would rather by something, use a service, frequent a business or anything else from the latter. I choose jobs that I don't have to worry about dress codes because frankly, I hate them. What gets me about the whole thing is that the whole time growing up we hear "you can't judge a book by it's cover" and then throw that out once we become "productive" members of society. Who knows, I may be the odd one out but it sure is an interesting place in the outer perimeters of society. ;) Oh yeah, don't forget the one about "wolves in sheeps clothing".
Quote from: Jess42 on June 18, 2013, 11:18:58 AM
The funny thing is Shantel, I have know people that look very "respectable", maybe a little too much so, with extremely good positions that are more like robots and have the personality of a cardboard box and actually climb the ladder. I also know some that look like they belong to a biker club, outlaw not the weekend doctor, lawyer, CEO type, with tat sleeves, piecings in places I don't even want to know, and just have an extreme rough edge about them but are extremely articulate and have interesting and captivating personalities. Me personally I would rather by something, use a service, frequent a business or anything else from the latter. I choose jobs that I don't have to worry about dress codes because frankly, I hate them. What gets me about the whole thing is that the whole time growing up we hear "you can't judge a book by it's cover" and then throw that out once we become "productive" members of society. Who knows, I may be the odd one out but it sure is an interesting place in the outer perimeters of society. ;) Oh yeah, don't forget the one about "wolves in sheeps clothing".
I agree with you completely, but employers hire who they want and in every case the individual's appearance is the first consideration regardless of their other attributes. We can bitch, piss and moan and commensurate over it but it is what it is. My kid had $4000 in auto tickets because of a few outrageous stickers in his rear window, jacked up rear-end, a smokin 351 Cleveland engine and fright wig hippy hair do. Once he took my advice and decided to blend in and changed his appearance, got a decent car he never had another ticket. If we want to be different from the crowd there is a price to pay, it isn't going to change until human beings are gone from the face of the earth.
Quote from: Shantel on June 18, 2013, 11:33:56 AM
I agree with you completely, but employers hire who they want and in every case the individual's appearance is the first consideration regardless of their other attributes. We can bitch, piss and moan and commensurate over it but it is what it is. My kid had $4000 in auto tickets because of a few outrageous stickers in his rear window, jacked up rear-end, a smokin 351 Cleveland engine and fright wig hippy hair do. Once he took my advice and decided to blend in and changed his appearance, got a decent car he never had another ticket. If we want to be different from the crowd there is a price to pay, it isn't going to change until human beings are gone from the face of the earth.
You're right. I guess that's why I do what I do for two livings. It's expected and accepted for you to be "on the fringes" of society. Both in my real world job and hobby/interest job. Let me clarify though, it's accepted in my real world job and expected in my hobby/interest job.
School.
I've always been... shunned in school.
I just don't take interest in the normal male things
And you know how bad teenagers are.
But as someone said . . . (Forgot to quote) . . . . "I wont let Discrimination rule my life"
& i agree with that 100%
I just let it pass and they find out its not bothering me, so they leave me alone.
Mostly.
-Eddie
On Saturday whilst returning from London pride I popped into my local shop, a couple of men decided to ask in a very loud voice if I was male or female, I wasn't in the mood to ignore this so asked one of them if he was male or female as he had both ears pierced, he then turned to his mate & said "I wouldn't shag that" to which I replied "I know you wouldn't shag me as I have standards & you don't come close to meeting them!".
Unbelievably this man then got the hump & accused me of having an attitude & getting in his face, idiots!!
Quote from: Jayne on July 01, 2013, 07:53:29 AM
On Saturday whilst returning from London pride I popped into my local shop, a couple of men decided to ask in a very loud voice if I was male or female, I wasn't in the mood to ignore this so asked one of them if he was male or female as he had both ears pierced, he then turned to his mate & said "I wouldn't shag that" to which I replied "I know you wouldn't shag me as I have standards & you don't come close to meeting them!".
Unbelievably this man then got the hump & accused me of having an attitude & getting in his face, idiots!!
Hopefully then you told them to piss off!
Quote from: Shantel on July 01, 2013, 08:28:53 AM
Hopefully then you told them to piss off!
I wasn't anywhere near as polite as that >:-)
Whilst waiting for the return train from London pride I had a few people stare rudely at me, I simply returned their stares & FTM Diaries had his back to them when he said to me "I don't need to look around to know what's happening behind me, your face says it all", I take a perverse kind of pleasure when these people break eye contact first.
Quote from: Jayne on July 01, 2013, 11:44:23 AM
I wasn't anywhere near as polite as that >:-)
Whilst waiting for the return train from London pride I had a few people stare rudely at me, I simply returned their stares & FTM Diaries had his back to them when he said to me "I don't need to look around to know what's happening behind me, your face says it all", I take a perverse kind of pleasure when these people break eye contact first.
Way to go Jayne! :eusa_clap:
Mainly within the gay community.
Quote from: EdekStaszek on June 26, 2013, 04:51:15 PM
School.
I've always been... shunned in school.
I just don't take interest in the normal male things
And you know how bad teenagers are.
But as someone said . . . (Forgot to quote) . . . . "I wont let Discrimination rule my life"
& i agree with that 100%
I just let it pass and they find out its not bothering me, so they leave me alone.
Mostly.
-Eddie
That resonates with me. I feel more discriminated as a man because that's when people pick on me. They don't bother me when I'm a woman nearly as much.
Been called "marica" (->-bleeped-<-) for the first time. on the street. An twice, in case I did not hear it the first time. After that, I made my shopping as fast as I could and ran home, without any confidence. I was practically heating everything after that, from something that sounded like "has a dick" to "FEA!" (which happened to be a mother playing with a baby). I got a lettuce and went home as fast as I could.
Basically, I knew that this was going to happen and in that direct place. In the only way I have to walk by every day, there's is a adjacent street with a gipsy families building, and where this king of social trash come to the main street. This time they were two sort of "cani" guys, between 17-19, my book definition of post-adolescent trash. Three months ago I entered that area accidentally when I started living here, I was called something about my hair and they tried to sell me drugs or something. And I walked away as fast as I could.
I wanted to stay in girl mode for the rest of the weekend, but I'm am even afraid of going out now.
I haven't really experienced any discrimination for myself since I'm not fully out of the closet yet, and I hope I won't experience it.
I have seen discrimination of trans people in general on Facebook & YouTube etc. though.
Before the end of my marriage and my starting dating, I would have said I haven't experienced discrimination.
However, in the dating arena, I believe I have.
Any number of times there have been cisgender males clearly physically attracted to me who backed off mysteriously. I believe it was not because I changed physically, but because they learned I was trans.
I call that a form of discrimination.
I've been very fortunate in that department so far and feel terrible for everyone here who has been royally shat upon for merely being themselves.
In keystone heights FL and Levy county Fl. Two places if your trans you should never ever go. Minor stuff in Jacksonville on two occasions. Nothing major in J ville though. Just a black eye and once had a bottle tossed at me. But that last one may have been a accident
Active duty USAF, face it every day because I can't serve openly as transgender.
Sadly I had my first taste of discrimination, it was what did free me up to start my transition. I was active duty Coast Guard and had recently returned from Afghanistan where I was attached to the Army, doing hazmat shipping and container inspections. The job involved alot of travel and was extremely dangerous. When I returned stateside I was stationed in Chattanooga TN. Fast forward a year. One of my subordinates was having a very tough time, we talked and when I was done I gave him a hug. (I did not think about it or trying to maintain a male side then) A couple weeks later he gave me a wet willy, I did the same in return. A couple weeks later Federal agents were there questioning everyone in the crew about me. They then questioned me and asked about who Chloe is and why I refer to her as myself in my phone... Following that they came and searched my houseboat that I was living on at the time. The next day I was shipped to Kentucky then New Orleans where I spent the last year and a half of my coast guard career. The same week as my birthday I was called back in and formally charged with Assault consumated by battery, and maltreatment. I had to hire a civilian lawyer to protect myself. A couple weeks later I am standing infront of a open courtroom with several coasties enjoying the show. I was lucky that the judge asked me what I thought would happen to me if I got sent to the brig, how being a "->-bleeped-<-" would work in there. I told him the truth that it would be pure hell. I spent a month in the brig, received a other than honorable discharge, and was busted down to paygrade E1 for my remaining time. I was allowed to go home that night to pack and prepare myself for a month in Charleston SC. The next morning I was picked up at work by more federal agents who put me in handcuffs and the restraining belt then put in the back of a car for my drive to Charleston. The first set of agents were very professional. The second set were a little less, one of them was one of my original investigators who spent the whole ride trying to give his partner a Jerry Springer show about my life asking leading questions and hoping for a good show. I did not fall for that. The last agents one of them spent the whole ride trying to save my soul and get me to love Jesus...I do not have a good relationship with Christians so why would I want to be one?
I started my HRT a week after I was released from the brig.
I was told that a gender fluid/genderless/androgynous person CAN be considered ineligable for SRS: if I want to get SRS I "more than likely" will have to stretch the truth once again about my gender identity and say "female" even though a part of me wants to say "androgynous." The thing is I don't like my penis: it has little to do with "gender identity" for me.
So, I am going to have to say "female" to get SRS, which I am going to do. "Tomboy" is what I tell them, as it is still "female" but covers enough masculine things to not really feel like a lie to me.
I had to "bend" for 25 years so what is one more "bend" to get what I need?
I did say that male/female doesn't matter to me so I guess "female" for the record it is.
The only place i've ever recieved discrimination would be school.
I started my transition when i was 15 in my sophomore year of high school. I was told i couldn't use the girls restroom(i had to use the nurses restroom) and they tried telling me i should wear unisex clothes. But i laughed in their face and wore whatever i wanted :)
At every mental health facility I have ever been to. The second one was the worst. It was an all male facility for those who had commited a crime (or in my case court order for own safty) I was in there with rapists, armed robers, and violent convicts.
I had said over and over again that I was transsexual but they refused to transfer me to a coed facility or put me in isolation. Everyone found out about my gender identity and sexuality while I was there
Luckily for me I was an avid athelete in high school and wasn't on any meds that made me weak or slowed my mind down (as most others were) plus I managed to get protection from another patient who took a romantic intrest in me. Since we were both in good shape and no one else there was I managed to stay safe. (Thankfully)
Also I was not allowed to shave my beard for 20 days of my treatment and even after they gave me a razor I was only allowed to use it every 4 days at most. And they made me cut my hair that I had grown out to shoulder length.
To top it all off they never refered me to an edocrinologist despite my source of depression being gender identity disorder (which they had the nerve to place as a secondary diagnosis with the primary diagnosis being mood disorder not otherwise specified [what kind of BS diagnosis is that!?])
I have experienced discrimination at work sites, in school, in the doctor's office, in public facilities, and more. I can't name a type of place I have not been discriminated against in some manner. Usually what I get is bad or less-than treatment, but sometimes the "only" thing I get is hate language aimed at me.
I was at a concert with my wife and we waited in line for beers. My wife was served and I was refused for being "intoxicated". I had only had one beer prior, as did my wife. I'm guessing it was because I was trans. Or maybe it was because he overheard me saying "coo coo ca choo" under my breath.
He really did look like a walrus.
I just got in someone else's line, got my beer and gave him the finger.
Hasn't happened to me...... yet...... after dozens of times being out as myself. I guess i've been lucky so far.
Sadly I know that it's inevitable because of small minded people :-\
I still get it a lot. I thought everybody would be cool once I admitted it and transitioned (since I had gotten so much flak all the time for not being girly), but transition kind of threw me into a no-man's-land. Gay women are often welcoming, but it's a culture I don't really understand and don't have a lot of access to. Most lesbians aren't dating boys or raising kids. Gay guys are often really sweet until they find out I'm trans. Even then they are often super nice when we're in environments that aren't welcoming to either of us, but that's not a situation I seek out.
People of all genders and orientations are friendly when I go to civil rights gatherings or other places with similar politics. Sometimes I feel like a lucky token in those circumstances, like a win for people playing some kind of diversity bingo.
For everything else, discrimination seems to be the default setting. It's usually polite. People politely ask me which bathroom I use, or how I have sex, or what my "real name" is. People politely ask me to keep it a secret that I have a boyfriend, or they politely ask me never to show my face in their office again. I have a kid in public school and I use a number of government services, but I get pressured not to expose other people's children to who I am, and I get waivers (both informal and on paper) and requests to not attend certain events. Some people don't even judge me, they just politely express their crazy opinions about lgbt people without first checking to see if I'm in that group.
It's all over the place. I try to be mellow about it. I don't like being difficult or forcing extra paperwork or feelings or fears on anyone, but being mostly quiet and acquiescent erodes one's sense of self over the years. It is very hard to stay sane and healthy and also strike a balance between peace and respect. I feel like I usually have to choose one or the other.
Quote from: Jill F on June 02, 2014, 08:43:46 PM
I was at a concert with my wife and we waited in line for beers. My wife was served and I was refused for being "intoxicated". I had only had one beer prior, as did my wife. I'm guessing it was because I was trans. Or maybe it was because he overheard me saying "coo coo ca choo" under my breath.
He really did look like a walrus.
I just got in someone else's line, got my beer and gave him the finger.
LMAO Such a good sense of humor, you handled it perfectly per my own perspective!
In High School I knew that there where people talking about me behind my back, and making fun of me for being feminine, I just ignored it for a while. Then it started to get out of control and I found out that it was just one or two people so I went to a teacher and she said that he said it was "his way of being friendly"....Really? I just thought he was an immature brat who had no brain. So it continued for a while until I went to another who got him removed from band and he got put in a resource class (basically where all the bullies go).
Quote from: ShaunaNinjagirl on September 13, 2012, 06:34:01 AM
I once got fired from a casino. They hired me but wanted my birth certificate. I had to explain the situation and why my birth certificate was under a male name. They tore up my papers on the spot and asked me to leave. Best not to concentrate on bad experiences though.
An employer is not legally entitled to see a birth certificate. The only thing they are entitled to is a name SSN and address. The HR manager where I work, who was an ass, demanded to see mine because he heard rumors that I was really male. I told him that I was not legally required to provide one and that he already had the information he was legally entitled to and if he fired me I would sue. He went to the regional HR manager, his boss, and was told to drop the issue and don't pursue it any further. I work for a global wide company who sells consumer products all over the world and the last thing they want is to be branded a bigoted company. BTW my real name is a unisex one so no one can guess my gender by name.
Quote from: Amy1988 on June 09, 2014, 05:06:41 PM
An employer is not legally entitled to see a birth certificate. The only thing they are entitled to is a name SSN and address. The HR manager where I work, who was an ass, demanded to see mine because he heard rumors that I was really male. I told him that I was not legally required to provide one and that he already had the information he was legally entitled to and if he fired me I would sue. He went to the regional HR manager, his boss, and was told to drop the issue and don't pursue it any further. I work for a global wide company who sells consumer products all over the world and the last thing they want is to be branded a bigoted company. BTW my real name is a unisex one so no one can guess my gender by name.
Good show Amy, sometimes you have to tell the Neanderthals where the rubber meets the road! :eusa_clap:
Quote from: Shantel on June 09, 2014, 06:45:00 PM
Good show Amy, sometimes you have to tell the Neanderthals where the rubber meets the road! :eusa_clap:
Thank you. That HR person no longer works there. I don't know if he quit was fired or what happen to him.
Well, I've had to sue police departments (and won), filed EEOC complaints against employers, human rights complaints against my university (twice), filed a complaint against parking enforcement at my university, filed a complaint with the social security administration, sued my credit card company (and won of course) and even sued my landlord and I won there too. I've filed numerous complaints against police departments. One such incident, where I had a person anonymously threatening to murder me, the cop was incessant about whether my boobs were real or not or I if I had SRS; both of which were completely irrelevant. I've wrote a book about my experiences which document all the violence, prejudice and discrimination. I hope to have the the sociology and criminal justice department use it as a supplemental book to its violence against women course and sociology of gender. It's not just a memoir, it includes loads of research and statistics about violence, prejudice and discrimination against transgender women, specifically transsexual women in various aspects of life.