Where have you experienced discrimination?

[Shantel]

Lindsey,
      Sometimes when we lose a job it's only because something better and more appropriate is coming up in our lives. That's always been my experience.

Lenore,
       You know the saying, "we can't choose our family, but we can always choose our friends!" Or something like that. There are times when family member's familiarity morphs into a contemptuous and toxic relationship, at that time you need to cut them off and break the umbilical and move on for your own good. I had to do this with my mother and sister for a ten year period and it worked. They found out that I wasn't going to tolerate their mean spirited, manipulative and demeaning behavior towards me and eventually changed their attitude completely. Sometimes a well selected handful of friends who love and accept you will have to be your family.

[LenoreKatz]

Lenore,
       You know the saying, "we can't choose our family, but we can always choose our friends!" Or something like that. There are times when family member's familiarity morphs into a contemptuous and toxic relationship, at that time you need to cut them off and break the umbilical and move on for your own good. I had to do this with my mother and sister for a ten year period and it worked. They found out that I wasn't going to tolerate their mean spirited, manipulative and demeaning behavior towards me and eventually changed their attitude completely. Sometimes a well selected handful of friends who love and accept you will have to be your family.

Yeah, I tell myself (and others, when necessary) that it's all a part of growing up for some of us. I was born into the wrong body, the wrong community, and the wrong family, and nobody can fix it for me, it's my job to do that, and what I learn along the way has given me a lot more of what really matters than if I had stayed back home, buckled down and gotten a job at the feed store or whatever. XD

Thanks for reaffirming this for me!

[Shantel]

Yeah, I tell myself (and others, when necessary) that it's all a part of growing up for some of us. I was born into the wrong body, the wrong community, and the wrong family, and nobody can fix it for me, it's my job to do that, and what I learn along the way has given me a lot more of what really matters than if I had stayed back home, buckled down and gotten a job at the feed store or whatever. XD

Thanks for reaffirming this for me!

We're here for you sweetie!

[Keaira]

the company I was just fired from.

[Shantel]

the company I was just fired from.

Fired? That's awful in these times especially, I'm sorry! What happened?

[Kayla]

Here are the two most prominent examples of discrimination I can think of...

The first happened almost a year ago. I was out, and passing was very so-so. Well, a friend and I went to grab coffee at a local coffee shop and since the day was decent (chilly but not too cold) we sat outside drinking our coffee and talking. A guy walking up the side walk looked at me, and asked if "I was a man?" I tried to ignore him at which point he got more belligerent saying "WTF, you are?" My friend told him to get lost and stop being an ass, at which point he told me that I should "keep my perversions to myself and not dress in women's clothing in public where children could see it" before he walked off. I was slightly upset, but this nice lady sitting behind us really cheered me up by telling me I was brave and not to let that jerk bring me down.

The next one happened about 4 months ago. There was a law school meet & greet up in DC and I decided to visit. Well, one of the things the schools have you do as sign your name when you visit their table. I have yet to legally change my name making the whole thing problematic. All the deans & assistant deans of admissions were nice and understanding about the whole thing, except one. The Washington & Lee representative saw it, chuckled and made a point to refer to me twice using male pronouns. I didn't let it bother me and instead decided not to apply to any school that would give that bigot a job.

[Jayne]

The simple answer to that question is EVERYWHERE.

I've had to talk my way out of a coupe of fights, as a result I don't go to town on a weekend (too many drunks)

I've had someone who claimed to be a friend start a facebook site to poke fun at pre-op transsexuals days after I came out.

In my last job I was the golden child who could do no wrong, then I came out & could do nothing right, when they were making preperations to make redundancies the first question they asked the union rep was what was the law on making a transsexual redundant.

I've had shop workers smirk in my face, some wouldn't even wait for me to get out the door before announcing in a loud voice "HE had nail varnish" or my favourite "did you see THAT?"

The list could go on but it'll just get me depressed

[lindsey143]

Dont get depressed, just remember the best part about being a tgirl...You Can Hit Like A Man! Beat a motherfockers a$$.

[Keaira]

Fired? That's awful in these times especially, I'm sorry! What happened?

They said it's because of too many write-ups.
2 weeks ago I was suspended after a robot crashed into the back doormof its press. No biggie. Ive seen robots crash. In fact, one tech said he had a robot crash hard enough that he had to rebuild its end of arm tool ( the piece that takesthe part off of the mold and onto the cconveyor belt).
They weren't written up over it. Mine had no damage to it whatsoever. When I came in the next day I was drug tested and suspended pending the test results. What should have been 3 days off turned into 7 days. By that time I was told to consider this as paid time off because "The investigation was still ongoing."
When I was finally asked to come in, I was told I had too many write-ups, this being my 3rd and final one. They didnt have me sign anything, just nothing. Nor did I see this write-up.

When I came in the next day to get my things I dressed as nicely as possible. Just so they would wonder if I found a job already and signed in with Blue Fox Graphics as my company name.

I am supposed to be getting a phone call today from the EEOC Investigator about it. I'll be sure to tell her about how my supervisor liked to squeeze past me and put his arms around my waist.  =)

[Shantel]

They said it's because of too many write-ups.
2 weeks ago I was suspended after a robot crashed into the back doormof its press. No biggie. Ive seen robots crash. In fact, one tech said he had a robot crash hard enough that he had to rebuild its end of arm tool ( the piece that takesthe part off of the mold and onto the cconveyor belt).
They weren't written up over it. Mine had no damage to it whatsoever. When I came in the next day I was drug tested and suspended pending the test results. What should have been 3 days off turned into 7 days. By that time I was told to consider this as paid time off because "The investigation was still ongoing."
When I was finally asked to come in, I was told I had too many write-ups, this being my 3rd and final one. They didnt have me sign anything, just nothing. Nor did I see this write-up.

When I came in the next day to get my things I dressed as nicely as possible. Just so they would wonder if I found a job already and signed in with Blue Fox Graphics as my company name.

I am supposed to be getting a phone call today from the EEOC Investigator about it. I'll be sure to tell her about how my supervisor liked to squeeze past me and put his arms around my waist.  =)

Yes take the bastards to the cleaners, you definitely have a case there!

[lindsey143]

Sure sounds like it to me. You got em by the nuts and bolts.

[Keaira]

well, talking with the EEOC Investigator today, it turns out that Valeo decided to decline my settlement offer and didn't offer a counter settlement. And I will be getting papers to sign for a 2nd set of charges against Valeo. So, I guess it's a fight. I will keep you posted, but I want to make my case something of an example. I want people to see that transition is not a joke, that it's hard and could cost you your job. But I also hope to show that it's not the end of the world, you can fight for your rights and hopefully win. There is help out there.

[Shantel]

well, talking with the EEOC Investigator today, it turns out that Valeo decided to decline my settlement offer and didn't offer a counter settlement. And I will be getting papers to sign for a 2nd set of charges against Valeo. So, I guess it's a fight. I will keep you posted, but I want to make my case something of an example. I want people to see that transition is not a joke, that it's hard and could cost you your job. But I also hope to show that it's not the end of the world, you can fight for your rights and hopefully win. There is help out there.

Start writing down some of the events you experienced with dates and names of everyone who was present or might have witnessed things. Businesses gat their asses kicked by EEOC quite frequently and fear their interventions. Good luck!

[Laura91]

well, talking with the EEOC Investigator today, it turns out that Valeo decided to decline my settlement offer and didn't offer a counter settlement. And I will be getting papers to sign for a 2nd set of charges against Valeo. So, I guess it's a fight. I will keep you posted, but I want to make my case something of an example. I want people to see that transition is not a joke, that it's hard and could cost you your job. But I also hope to show that it's not the end of the world, you can fight for your rights and hopefully win. There is help out there.

Good luck!

[Magnus]

Just about everywhere for me as well... but especially UPS and Vons.

[Penelope Pitstop]

When I first started transitioning and before I started HRT I was very non passable. One day I went to a pub with my friends. After I had got my drink the landlord came up to me and told me to leave saying that "he didn't want my sort" in his establishment.

That's about the worst discrimination I have suffered and it had me in tears for days.

[Northern Jane]

Well 99% of the discrimination I experienced in life was pre-transition, then I got a lot for being effeminate in other people's eyes.

Me too! I grew up being referred to as "it" ... even the bullies didn't pick on me because there was 'no glory' in it. By my later teens I was assumed to be a girl in drag - it was the 1960s and early 70s and nobody knew anything about TS back then.

After transition, my  background was only known to doctors but I had a few issues over the years. One was going to a hospital clinic for  a sore throat and the doctor wanted to do a pelvic exam - he was transferred to a remote northern post after that. Another was a doctor who kept asking me what my name had been - he lost his license to practice after I filed a complaint with the College of Physicians & Surgeons. The last incident was a few years ago when I needed to have surgery. I met with the anesthesiologist beforehand, an East Indian doctor, but when the day for surgery came, I had a different anesthesiologist - apparently the East Indian declined because of my background and his "religious beliefs".

[FTMDiaries]

After transition, my  background was only known to doctors but I had a few issues over the years. One was going to a hospital clinic for  a sore throat and the doctor wanted to do a pelvic exam - he was transferred to a remote northern post after that. Another was a doctor who kept asking me what my name had been - he lost his license to practice after I filed a complaint with the College of Physicians & Surgeons. The last incident was a few years ago when I needed to have surgery. I met with the anesthesiologist beforehand, an East Indian doctor, but when the day for surgery came, I had a different anesthesiologist - apparently the East Indian declined because of my background and his "religious beliefs".

Thank you so much for fighting back against those ignoramuses and making things easier for people like me.

[big kim]

_Plenty of places,I was passed over 4 times for an Inspector's job at the bus company despite having an exemplary record and no accidents for 3 years and for a Driving Instructor's job.I could never prove it of course and eventually after 2 assaults and 2 robberys became disilusioned and burned out,I went off with stress and depression and never went back.

[Jess42]

_Plenty of places,I was passed over 4 times for an Inspector's job at the bus company despite having an exemplary record and no accidents for 3 years and for a Driving Instructor's job.I could never prove it of course and eventually after 2 assaults and 2 robberys became disilusioned and burned out,I went off with stress and depression and never went back.

I can definately identify with you kim but with me it's big trucks instead of busses.

I think the better question for me anyway is, when haven't I been discriminated against? When I was younger being kicked out of places because I looked like I was up to no good. Many many job opportunities lost because I have long hair. I could go on but won't.

When life gives you lemons, I am all for making lemonade but when that lemonade starts tasting like pee, you gotta wonder what kind of lemons life is giving you.