Finally came out to my family. Over Facebook but nonetheless, I came out. My extended adoptive family, who I have not seen since primary school though are the only ones who accept me surprisingly. But anyway, my dad, sister, brother, and soon-to-be-brother-in-law all got laid off (their companies were pink slipping by the tens to hundreds, damn). And I have very limited money to transition.
So, what are the cheapest ways to go about it? Therapists, without having insurance; binders and packers; cheap ways to pass; etc.
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 06:15:28 AM
Finally came out to my family. Over Facebook but nonetheless, I came out. My extended adoptive family, who I have not seen since primary school though are the only ones who accept me surprisingly. But anyway, my dad, sister, brother, and soon-to-be-brother-in-law all got laid off (their companies were pink slipping by the tens to hundreds, damn). And I have very limited money to transition.
So, what are the cheapest ways to go about it? Therapists, without having insurance; binders and packers; cheap ways to pass; etc.
Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
What did transgenders do 100 years ago? Before hormones? Before therapists? Before SRS?
Just be yourself.
I have a very female body and face. I've almost an hourglass shape with a very innocent, young face. If I do look male, I'd look like a preschool boy. I wouldn't look my age.
Unfortunately in MS without much money, it will be rather difficult to transition. Being young doesn't help things. I'd suggest (if you haven't already) phoning up the therapist I gave you and seeing what her sliding scale is.
There are some websites (including this one) where people either give away binders for free or for just shipping. I don't have the time this morning to find the links but there is one called Big Brother I think. FTM Garage Sale is another maybe.
The cheapest packer is the Mr Limpy. It goes for about $12-16 before shipping.
Cheapest ways to pass...not really sure what you mean. Probably the best place to start is a short, masculine haircut from a barber. Shouldn't cost more than $10. If you don't have a large men's wardrobe, there are several Good Will thrift stores on the Coast. Men's clothing there ranges from about $3 to $7.
I would also suggest reaching out to guys who, say, have had chest surgery and are giving away or selling their binders for cheap. I'm all about recycling & getting things cheaply myself :)
Also, until you can afford a packer, you can always use the ol' rolled-up sock technique.
Best of luck!
That's the problem for me, I'm a germaphobe. I am literally afraid to buy used clothing at donation centres and things. I just get paranoid about germs and such. I'm trying to get over it, but I just can't stop thinking about coughing and sneezing, etc.
And I asked my dad if I could use his laptop to look up the therapist and find information and contacts, and he kind of won't let me see a new therapist, especially if he or she is not in my city. He isn't a fan of leaving our side of the city.
And I don't get paid except $20-40 every week or every two weeks, sometimes three.
Quote from: smittyFTM on June 26, 2012, 07:37:20 AM
Also, until you can afford a packer, you can always use the ol' rolled-up sock technique.
I don't own socks, if that isn't strange. :icon_redface: how do I do that technique?
theres really No cheap way to be transgender,
being "cheapest" would depends on your location and situation.
for some people being cheap is to take the hospital nearby to make top surgery, for other its to travel to German insteed of US..
But I dont find being "cheap" to be any good guide line for transition maybe for clothing and such its okay to be cheap, but if we go to the body point, then you should pay more for a result you would like the rest of your life, than just go the cheap way with something who might not work, or be that great.
I've always been pampered since I was adopted. expensive brands, getting anything I ever desired, books, art supplies costing over thousands, having the master bedroom of the house, everything. But I'm not used to havi no money at my expense like now. I even have a real leather Prada case just for my art supplies, and Gucci belt that I've never even wore.
I don't even know clothes that are cheap, or anything.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 09:00:26 AM
I've always been pampered since I was adopted. expensive brands, getting anything I ever desired, books, art supplies costing over thousands, having the master bedroom of the house, everything. But I'm not used to havi no money at my expense like now. I even have a real leather Prada case just for my art supplies, and Gucci belt that I've never even wore.
I don't even know clothes that are cheap, or anything.
I don't mean to be a dick & I realise you are simply explaining your experience of privilege, but you may have a hard time getting a lot of sympathy by pointing out such things.
Maybe sell said Prada case and unworn Gucci belt??
I'm sorry if I sound unattractively snobbish. I would gladly sell them except for the belt. It's a girl's belt and absolutely hideous but my real dad (dead navy guy) gave my step dad the money to buy it for me and I can't sell it and the Prada bag was a gift. I hate being rude, but I hate being selfish at the same time. I donate all my things when I grow out of them. I've donated 5-6 or even more whole boxes of toys to my local good will.
I'm sorry.
And my dad doesn't like selling things, I donate everything.
I realise you probably aren't aware of it, but it seems like for every suggestion someone gives you, you have a retort/reason why you "can't" do it. If you want to transition badly enough, you're going to have to toughen up and make sacrifices. There are heaps of websites like Hudson's FTM guide that tell you all kinds of techniques.
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on June 26, 2012, 10:50:27 AM
I realise you probably aren't aware of it, but it seems like for every suggestion someone gives you, you have a retort/reason why you "can't" do it.
I was about to post something along the same lines.
But seriously, if the OP is not going to listen or reject every suggestion, asking for help actually becomes pretty useless.
I haven't a backbone at all. :icon_shrug_no:
I try to assert myself and state what i want and that im adamant to do whatever to achieve my wishes but my inferiority complex always seems to convince me that I should just give up and bend to fit other people's wants.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 11:11:39 AM
I haven't a backbone at all. :icon_shrug_no:
I try to assert myself and state what i want and that im adamant to do whatever to achieve my wishes but my inferiority complex always seems to convince me that I should just give up and bend to fit other people's wants.
Xs small sports bra(compression) your new binder.
Guys clothes-target or walmart
Measuring tape to figure out your size in clothes.
20$ hair clippers at kmart--your new buzz cut or ask a friend to give you something simple like a faux hawk
That's pretty much it, about hormones you could always wait because t will masculinize you greatly about as good at 18 than at 15.
Oh and stop shaving or plucking anything. No makeup. Just no effort other than to be hygienic and presentable.
I do the above and I'm biologically male^^ as for parents well....idk*shugs*
Once I turn 18 I don't think foster parents have any control over me, so that isn't much to worry about.
And I don't think my city has a Kmart, I can't remember ever going to one except when I was a tiny little kid living with my mom. But we do have a Walmart. I've never heard of target.
I can do my own hair, I prefer long hair, I'm a skater in training (trying to convince my dad to give me more than 20 minutes a day outside) lol
And how do I take measurements?
No make up? ...oh god.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 11:29:12 AM
Once I turn 18 I don't think foster parents have any control over me, so that isn't much to worry about.
And I don't think my city has a Kmart, I can't remember ever going to one except when I was a tiny little kid living with my mom. But we do have a Walmart. I've never heard of target.
I can do my own hair, I prefer long hair, I'm a skater in training (trying to convince my dad to give me more than 20 minutes a day outside) lol
And how do I take measurements?
No make up? ...oh god.
It doesn't have to be a kmart it could be a ny general store Jesus Christ!lol
You take measurements by measuring sweety. Measure your hips at the fullest part of your butt. Chest across your nipple area once you have already binded.
I get the feeling you're being unnecessarily obtuse at this point. And you don't need a packer to pass, that's bull. If you want one to just feel something there fine, but if you're wearing jeans that are thorp jeans trust me no one will see. Men WISH they had visible packages like that ::)
As my schoolmates say, "this kid lacks common sense and common knowledge except for what 'she' can find in a textbook or any other book."
I am bad in the sense that I take things a little too literal and I do kind of lack social skills and 'common sense'. I'm diagnosed with aspergers syndrome; autism.
Inference is something I lack, as well.
Things that cost money generally make it more comfortable and easier to pass, but with the exception of binders for large chested guys, a lot of the time you don't need to buy anything really.
I'm fortunate to have quite a masculine face, but also I'm incredibly short, 4th shortest in my school year (and two of them are the shortest people I've ever seen without having dwarfism) so my chances of passing are probably about the same as anyone's, and for a variety of reasons I don't do anything other than dress how I want and act how I want and I pass. The only time I think about mannerisms is when I'm being seen as male by one person and everyone else around me knows me as female, I try to actively pass so they don't realise and draw attention to thinking I was male by correcting themselves.
I also know what it's like to have had more money than you do currently, we used to have money but now we don't, for reasons out of our control. When things like that happen you've just got to swallow your pride and adjust the way you've been used to living. For you that might mean selling everything that isn't necessary or often used (you'll be surprised how much you don't need, I'm clearing out to move and have filled about three boxes already of stuff I want to sell) and changing where you shop. I live in the UK so I don't know what sort of places you have to shop in over there, but just look around, you can get some pretty good deals if you look around.
Quote from: Kreuzfidel on June 26, 2012, 10:50:27 AM
I realise you probably aren't aware of it, but it seems like for every suggestion someone gives you, you have a retort/reason why you "can't" do it. If you want to transition badly enough, you're going to have to toughen up and make sacrifices. There are heaps of websites like Hudson's FTM guide that tell you all kinds of techniques.
^This. OP, you're making it rather difficult for folks to help you. Sorry, mate but it's true....
I don't have much unless you can count video games and devices. But many of my play stations (original and ps2) and my n64 was stolen. As well as 2 of my game boy advances and many of the game cartridges. I still have a limited edition lime green ds lite, a regular black dsi and a limited edition zelda ds3D
I guess I don't need different devices that do almost the same thing.
And my wii is broken from when me and my brother had a fight and he slammed me into the game cupboard and broke the Xbox kinect and wii and something else, lol.
And I'm a 36C almost a full D but I still wear smaller sizes to try to shrink them (my lesbian sis told me how she kept an A cup when most of her family has D+)
I would actually break transition down into social, legal, and medical. You would probably be able to do the social and some of the legal for almost nothing compared to the medical. Pretty much come out to everybody and get your name changed. If you're speaking specifically of hormones. Try to get insurance to cover hormones with tests going as endocrine disorder undetermined.
The thing is, my dad doesn't have very good health insurance, and it hardly covers anything.
And I'm working on telling everyone, but I'm not sure at what age I can legally change my name.
And there are people I have to be weary about telling. I'd be in mortal danger~ lol. But seriously, yeah, I can't tell everyone. But I can tell most people of my immediate family (except my dad, he'll just shrug it off again) and some of my extended family.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 12:59:46 PM
The thing is, my dad doesn't have very good health insurance, and it hardly covers anything.
And I'm working on telling everyone, but I'm not sure at what age I can legally change my name.
And there are people I have to be weary about telling. I'd be in mortal danger~ lol. But seriously, yeah, I can't tell everyone. But I can tell most people of my immediate family (except my dad, he'll just shrug it off again) and some of my extended family.
OK so medical transition is probably out of the question for now, but not impossible.
So you can still legally and socially transition. I don't know where you live but here you can change your name at any age with your parents permission and over 18 without it, but I think it's much harder in other places, here it's just a form and £11, America seems to be much more complicated and requiring court orders and things in some places.
Social transition is going to be dangerous for some people at any time. You'll have to weigh up the risks and benefits of coming out to people.
My sister was out on the streets at 16 just for being gay, she ended up living with my school's principle just so she could go to school. I know not to tell her dad.
And I'm not too worried about medically transitioning right at this moment.
I think I saw one post on this site where someone said they had to get a birth certificate, court order, etc. but that was him or her trying to change their name outside of the state they were born in.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 09:00:26 AM
I've always been pampered since I was adopted. expensive brands, getting anything I ever desired, books, art supplies costing over thousands, having the master bedroom of the house, everything. But I'm not used to havi no money at my expense like now. I even have a real leather Prada case just for my art supplies, and Gucci belt that I've never even wore.
I don't even know clothes that are cheap, or anything.
thats pretty much a luxery problem,
I got the opposite,
but if you really wanna have money for those things then you must cut of something,
if theres something you REALLY REALLY want but you know you dont have money for it(and its from the net), then save the link, and wait and get it later when you have money for it.
thats what I do to try save my temtation to use my money.
Quote from: Nygeel on June 26, 2012, 12:52:34 PM
I would actually break transition down into social, legal, and medical. You would probably be able to do the social and some of the legal for almost nothing compared to the medical. Pretty much come out to everybody and get your name changed. If you're speaking specifically of hormones. Try to get insurance to cover hormones with tests going as endocrine disorder undetermined.
social is the only cheap point, its generally for free, when I talk about money issue I sure mention it in homones and surgery points.
But I think socially transition is the most important one so I think you should start out with that.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 12:12:45 PM
And I'm a 36C almost a full D but I still wear smaller sizes to try to shrink them (my lesbian sis told me how she kept an A cup when most of her family has D+)
Yeah, sorry that's not going to work, your sister just happens to have a different body than other people. Get a job, work your ass off, save everything. That's how I got my therapist, plus the trip there (3+ hour drive there and back), endo (extra cost for first visit), prescriptions, name change, etc paid for. I didn't have anything to sell but it sounds like you do and should sell it, even the broken Wii could probably bring in some funds on ebay. Keep an eye open for guys who have recently had top surgery and are giving away their binders (usually for free or cost of shipping), wash in hot water to kill the germs.
And yes, if you want to pass and are not medically transitioned at all and are really female looking (like you've said) make-up would not be a good idea.
No makeup it's going to look weird sorry.
Even if you looked manly as he'll it would look weird.
I love my eyeliner though lol
Yeah, I've been wearing B size top undergarments for 3 years and they are only getting bigger.....
I'm not old enough to work where I live. And by time I do get old enough, my classes are too important and I am not really suited for working until 11pm or later for a job during high school like my siblings and failing classes because they did not have any time to do it after school
I'm an A+ average student, I couldn't afford to get any bad grades. To me, a B (90% correct)strands for Bad.
But thank you greatly for the information. :)
oh and I'm not really sure who would want a broken wii??
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 02:42:43 PM
I love my eyeliner though lol
Yeah, I've been wearing B size top undergarments for 3 years and they are only getting bigger.....
I'm not old enough to work where I live. And by time I do get old enough, my classes are too important and I am not really suited for working until 11pm or later for a job during high school like my siblings and failing classes because they did not have any time to do it after school
I'm an A+ average student, I couldn't afford to get any bad grades. To me, a B (90% correct)strands for Bad.
But thank you greatly for the information. :)
oh and I'm not really sure who would want a broken wii??
My advice is to wait until after you leave high school to transition. It sounds like you are not ready and it could be dangerous for you (regarding your dad and family). One you leave high school, get a job, move out, and do all the things I mentioned in my previous comment if you want to transition. It takes hard work and sacrifice to transition.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 11:11:39 AM
I haven't a backbone at all. :icon_shrug_no:
I try to assert myself and state what i want and that im adamant to do whatever to achieve my wishes but my inferiority complex always seems to convince me that I should just give up and bend to fit other people's wants.
Step 1: Grow a backbone and defeat the inferiority complex.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 02:42:43 PM
oh and I'm not really sure who would want a broken wii??
Look on eBay, you'd be surprised. I know it's not the same, but the other week we sold a broken mixer (which couldn't be repaired, only used for parts) to someone who lived in Germany for £70, who then paid for a courier to collect it because we wouldn't ship to Germany. People pay crazy amounts for broken things, even if it doesn't make sense to you why.
And how do you sell things online? It seems absurd, to give your address online. Could a teenager do it?
I have a credit card, that's about it. Lol.
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 03:48:18 PM
And how do you sell things online? It seems absurd, to give your address online. Could a teenager do it?
I have a credit card, that's about it. Lol.
You don't give your address online. Go take a look at ebay so you can get an idea of how it works. here I searched "broken wii" http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313&_nkw=broken+wii&_sacat=0 (http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313&_nkw=broken+wii&_sacat=0)
you list an item with a starting price and an end date, people bid on it, the highest bidder at time of auction ending wins. They pay you, they give you their address, you send them the item.
Oh okay. I just checked, I have to be 18 or older.
I'll just use my sister's credit card #. It was stolen anyway, it shouldn't matter.
Nintendo DS Lite Limited Edition Lime Green Handheld System NDSL
Location: China Returns: Accepted
Buy It Now
$84.00
Free Shipping Time left:3d 20h 7m
Wow, I could sell my limited edition DS too if this is the kind of money people may pay for it.
Especially if this is the only one for sell at the moment.
That ds and maybe about 30 games i havent played since seventh grade, and are almost completely new would probably be the only thing I'd be willing to sell. Lol
Quote from: jasper3 on June 26, 2012, 04:13:58 PM
That ds and maybe about 30 games i havent played since seventh grade, and are almost completely new would probably be the only thing I'd be willing to sell. Lol
Don't sell the games with the DS, you can probably get more if you break them all up.
My sister said I'd have to convince my dad to let me sell things even if he wasn't the one who bought them.
Oh! I also have this horrid, terrifying cat doll that my step-grandmother gave me for Christmas like years ago. It scares the ->-bleeped-<- out of me, I'd be happy to give THAT away. Lol.
Just sell them and when he asks where they are say you loaned them out. Why is he so against selling things? Sounds like he wants to keep you under his thumb by letting you have no money.
I just asked him, he said no eBay. If I want to sell games I can do it at GameStop and only get about $5-6 for each game that USED would cost $20+
I would just save them till I turned 18 and then do it. He has no say when you are of the age of majority.
I could probably give them to my friend and have her sell them and tell my dad I'm selling the games to my friends or people they know if he asks about the money.
Jasper3
I'm going to have to call you out. Earlier in this post I suggested you use socks to make a cheap (free) bulge. You said you didn't own socks and that you didn't know how to go about doing this.
Here's what you wrote in the topic entitled "Feminine" (which you started):
Re: Feminine
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2012, 03:41:17 pm »
Quote
Even when passing I'm mistaken for a girl
I've once wrapped two or three ace bandages (meant for ankles and wrists; I had many on hand, I got in fights so often, if something wasn't broken, it was sprained lol) and I'd use a sock to pack
But I have such long eyelashes and big blue eyes, everyone would call me miss
I'd feel so embarrassed and I'd giggle and whimper at the same time kinda
....and I'd use a sock to pack....
Seriously, I realise this is just about socks but, well, is it? Why lie? What's your deal?
Selling stuff you don't need anymore is always a good way to make money. Also you could do some small works for people, like walking their dog, taking care of their gardens etc.
I have Aspergers too, and ADD along with a history of money problems and involuntarily unemployment, so over the years I've had to get creative in order to make a living. A good thing to do as an aspie is to find that one thing you're really good at and try to make money out of it. Art is my special interest, and selling paintings as helped me financially.
I know it's hard to be positive as a trans* aspie teenager, but just hang in there, it does get better.
You just have to decide where your priorities lie sorry but its true. I was kicked out of my parents when I was 14 and ended up couch hopping and living with roommates doing odd jobs and under the table work I know its a different situation but I had to wait till recently to really move towards my goals at all. I decided my priorities at that point were to feed myself enough to stay alive and pay for necessities like my school stuff laundry ect... Even now i know surgery and stuff is going to be freaking far far down the road for me because I need to keep a roof over my sons head and give him everything he needs. I will admit to selling a lot of stuff to get enough extra money for a new binder and not really eating sometimes when I am trying to save up money for stuff though i always make sure my son has plenty, but its figuring out what you care the most about.
Quote from: smittyFTM on June 28, 2012, 11:23:57 PM
Jasper3
I'm going to have to call you out. Earlier in this post I suggested you use socks to make a cheap (free) bulge. You said you didn't own socks and that you didn't know how to go about doing this.
Here's what you wrote in the topic entitled "Feminine" (which you started):
Re: Feminine
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2012, 03:41:17 pm »
Quote
Even when passing I'm mistaken for a girl
I've once wrapped two or three ace bandages (meant for ankles and wrists; I had many on hand, I got in fights so often, if something wasn't broken, it was sprained lol) and I'd use a sock to pack
But I have such long eyelashes and big blue eyes, everyone would call me miss
I'd feel so embarrassed and I'd giggle and whimper at the same time kinda
....and I'd use a sock to pack....
Seriously, I realise this is just about socks but, well, is it? Why lie? What's your deal?
When I tried passing it was years ago, maybe early middle school. Now, I hardly wear socks or shoes for that matter. I only wear socks when the nurse at school gives them to me because I'm always being suspended for no socks. But I don't really own any, and by that I mean there are none in my rooms.
it actually needs some backbone to transition so maybe you need to work on that first?
Jasper, I don't mean to be rude, but you obviously know how to use a computer - Google is your friend. You don't know how to use measuring tape? Google is your friend. Don't know how to make a packer? Google is your friend.
And why does it specifically have to be socks? Anything small, soft and cloth-like can be wadded up to make a "bulge". I have to wonder - why did you even ask the original question if you "can't", "won't" or "shouldn't" do everything necessary at this point in your life to make changes happen?
I have to agree with the others - you do not (in my opinion) sound ready at all to commit to transitioning. You seem like a decent young guy, but you do sound like you have a lot of growing to do and I don't mean physical.
Jasper, about the socks: I suggested you use socks as a cheap packer. You replied with this:
"I don't own socks, if that isn't strange. :icon_redface: how do I do that technique?"
Then in your post "Feminine" you wrote:
"I've once wrapped two or three ace bandages (meant for ankles and wrists; I had many on hand, I got in fights so often, if something wasn't broken, it was sprained lol) and I'd use a sock to pack"
Clearly you know "how to do that technique".
My issue with you is not whether you own socks. I couldn't care less whether you have socks.
My issue with you is that you seem to lie.
LIFT WEIGHTS! Start out slow to be safe, but then do your sets with heavy weights to bulk up. Or if you don't have access just do pushups/pullups and stuff. Lift heavy things (safely) around the house constantly. If you can't afford anything might as well get jacked. Muscles are stereotypically manly so go online as find out all the exercises that will slim down your hips and broaden your shoulder and lats. Also eat a ton of protein.
Quote from: smittyFTM on July 07, 2012, 02:23:56 PM
Jasper, about the socks: I suggested you use socks as a cheap packer. You replied with this:
"I don't own socks, if that isn't strange. :icon_redface: how do I do that technique?"
Then in your post "Feminine" you wrote:
"I've once wrapped two or three ace bandages (meant for ankles and wrists; I had many on hand, I got in fights so often, if something wasn't broken, it was sprained lol) and I'd use a sock to pack"
Clearly you know "how to do that technique".
My issue with you is not whether you own socks. I couldn't care less whether you have socks.
My issue with you is that you seem to lie.
I just noticed that, too. There's nothing worse than people spending time and energy trying to help someone when it seems like an OP is jerking everyone around for some bizarre reason. If the OP is serious, he'll use Google and take the advice he was given - otherwise, I smell a troll.
I agree he's making it very difficult but i think a lot of you are being a little harsh. not going to name names or insert quotes. I don't know if all of you remember being at a point where you know what you want but are afraid so you make up excuses. It doesn't even have to be about transitioning but i know i have sure as hell made things hard for myself in the past just cause I was nervous or weird about something or just felt i was jumping in too fast. I flat out lied to all of my friends in high school saying i didn't like women even though they all knew it was a lie they let me figure it out myself.
Traivs, I agree - but at the same time, it's not fair to people who spend their time explaining things patiently only to have everything they've said tossed aside, retorted against or otherwise ignored. I am all for people new to transitioning learning things for themselves - but it's unnecessary and unfair to lie about silly little things and to not be willing to take responsibility for your own life. We are most assuredly here to help, but patience has a limit and I would much rather spend my time trying to help someone own their mistakes than pander to them.
Sometimes all you can do is show people where to look and leave it up to them to take the next step or not and just know you did what you could. Its up to them. I try to not let people get under my skin about this kinda stuff because any lies they may or may not have said is only hurting themselves.
Hey Travis, I totally understand what you're saying. Sure I could have (maybe should have?) noticed the socks discrepancy & ignored it. I certainly didn't go out hunting Jasper's posts looking for one. However, I and others have tried to guide him & give advice from experience to no avail. It truly is frustrating.
I have to agree with replies given by Kreuzfidel as well. We're family here, ya know, and are only trying to help. Lying & bamboozling are unnecessary and will only make folks unwilling to help our young friend.
I have no problem holding folks accountable for their words & actions, nor anyone holding me accountable to mine.
With that, I'm going to drop my interest in this thread; I won't be spending anymore time on it--it's a waste of my energies at this point.
Cheers
Quote from: smittyFTM on July 08, 2012, 09:37:07 AM
Hey Travis, I totally understand what you're saying. Sure I could have (maybe should have?) noticed the socks discrepancy & ignored it. I certainly didn't go out hunting Jasper's posts looking for one. However, I and others have tried to guide him & give advice from experience to no avail. It truly is frustrating.
I have to agree with replies given by Kreuzfidel as well. We're family here, ya know, and are only trying to help. Lying & bamboozling are unnecessary and will only make folks unwilling to help our young friend.
I have no problem holding folks accountable for their words & actions, nor anyone holding me accountable to mine.
With that, I'm going to drop my interest in this thread; I won't be spending anymore time on it--it's a waste of my energies at this point.
Cheers
You should have followed your post with a fabulous z snap, ;D
At least that's what I did when I read your post! :laugh:
Quote from: lilacwoman on July 07, 2012, 02:09:05 AM
it actually needs some backbone to transition so maybe you need to work on that first?
It actually takes work to come off as nasty you have. So much for supportive ::)
^^
Quote from: Adam1 on July 08, 2012, 09:54:02 AM
It actually takes work to come off as nasty you have. So much for supportive ::)
^^
Actually, lilacwoman has a point. If you can't stand for yourself, you shouldn't be rushing into transition. I'm not saying you can't ask for help or support(it's good to ask for such things when you need them), but if you can't do something as simple as sell, donate, or throw out an ITEM without relying on your parents' permission 24/7, you definitely have other issues to work on first.
Honestly, the OP's showing some really big red flags here. They're putting off the suggestions people offer, and have apparently been dishonest about a few things. It might not be nice to be called out, but sometimes people need a smack to the face to stop them from rushing into big, life-altering processes.
I don't mind people pointing things out like oh you said this before so i was wondering why you responded this way etc... but its to the point where reading this I feel he has been targeted over something little. High school and self discovery is hard and I feel that you guys need to consider how your saying things and how it might effect someone who is just trying to start the process of learning who they are and how they want to be. After this post i am done with this thread but I just wanted to say that really quick. Also have you noticed that the person you have been complaining about hasn't said anything on this thread in a bit? I honestly hope that its not because of the insensitive comments that started all because of a socks comment. Just sayin.
"Insensitive Comments" is a term that does not apply if posters are merely pointing out to a person the exact words that that person has used.
Everyone knows that being young and transitioning is hard. Newsflash: Being older and transitioning can be hard too. There is no need for anyone to come into a situation looking for help then deflecting every piece of help that comes his way and doing some lying to boot.
I'm sorry if i have caused confusion really, I forgot where I read or who had posted it.. But when I said or asked HOW I kind of ... Explaining my meaning for things is weird... But I was trying to imply that I may have done it wrong and it just looked ... Well strange or not natural.
Again, I'm very sorry for all the drama.
Also, I haven't had any Internet because I broke my iPad charger and I have to pay my sister or do odd jobs just to use her laptop for my homework and I'm not allowed to use my dad's laptop.
Also, I've been trying to work on my "backbone"
And I tried to come out to my closest family except my brother and mother and grandmother whom I may never come out to
And I've tried steering or whatever like talk to my therapist and I told my dad I want a new therapist who will actually listen and try to help with my problems
Again, I'm sorry for apologising, but I'm sorry?