Well thats me lately. i don't understand it I don't know why but I just feel like i don't fit in anywhere. I go in the chat room and it seems real clicky and I don't feel like i belong there. Even in my own home I don't feel like I fit in. I feel like a social misfit. Now don't misunderstand me I am not blaming anyone here! I just can't explain it
Anyway thanks for reading I just needed to get it off my chest
I don't fit in anywhere, either.
Well, most anywhere. I do have one or two friends locally who accept me as I am.
I figure the rest of the world is the misfit, and I'm the only one who is sane rational "with it"....well, I'm the only one who is ME.
And believe you me, I march sashay to a different kazoo player.
Sometimes that's all we can do.
I kinda feel the same way,
I don't know about on the chat though, I am usually too shy to actually talk on the chat a lot. The way my mind and thoughts have been though lately. It seems like no matter what people don't like me or don't want to talk to me, even if that isn't the case. I feel like the world, and everyone on it is against me no matter what I do. I don't know if this makes sense.
The big thing is just try to talk yourself out of feeling that way and try to make yourself realize most of it is just in your head.
Yes and irl, I've pretty much given up on it.
Quote from: Chrissy1 on July 16, 2012, 11:30:59 PM
Well thats me lately. i don't understand it I don't know why but I just feel like i don't fit in anywhere. I go in the chat room and it seems real clicky and I don't feel like i belong there. Even in my own home I don't feel like I fit in. I feel like a social misfit. Now don't misunderstand me I am not blaming anyone here! I just can't explain it
Hi Chrissy. Everybody feels that way sometimes, and some people feel that way all the time. I used to feel that way almost always!
My favorite story when I was little was the ugly duckling - she stuck out like a sore thumb and couldn't do anything right, until she grew into her full potential as a swan. Of course she didn't fit in as a duck!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.squidoocdn.com%2Fresize%2Fsquidoo_images%2F590%2Fdraft_lens19608153module160217126photo_1341710966___.jpg&hash=ad994561d25d9e8cf1363557b344496c862cbc63)
Of course, sometimes the difference we feel is all on the inside. When we are at peace with ourselves, its easier to feel at home wherever we are.
I still get duckling flashbacks where I feel like that same awkward honker. It helps to have friends who can say "Silly goose, you fit in just fine with me!"
Chat can be that way from time to time, but the main goal of chat much like this forum is to provide support. Feel free to hang out in chat though, once people get to know you it gets better.
I don't feel like I fit in either... unless I'm alone, then I fit in just fine.
Oh definitely. I gave up trying.
I find for chat it helps to just jump into the conversation (unless, in my case, they're talking about comptuer stuff. ::) I'm hopeless with that).
I believe that most of us feel the same way. Don't fret about it and just be yourself girl.
You are not alone, it takes time and patience to build a network. For some it just happens so quickly, for people like us, I feel like it would take a while before I can connect with someone. Don't even get me started on chat-rooms as I never had luck in that department. Just be yourself, smile, continue smiling and accept who you truly are. When you do that, new friends will start blooming everywhere you go :)
Thank you to everyone! Sometimes I think I just need to know I am not the only one. It is one of the many reasons I am glad I am here. This place has such wonderful people
thank you again :)
Yeah, I feel like that a bit, I can pretend and fit in well enough with most anyone, but when I am fully myself I don't feel anywhere I am a perfect fit, I think that is more or less normal.
Almost all of my life I have never really fit in any where, but I have come to accept that
if the world considers it's self normal I am really happy being abnormal
Quote from: Tigger on July 19, 2012, 04:46:25 PM
Almost all of my life I have never really fit in any where, but I have come to accept that
if the world considers it's self normal I am really happy being abnormal
I guess I am still learning to do that not there yet
Chrissy,
The only sane ones are you and me. And sometimes I wonder about you. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-4.gif&hash=34a3e40b48ee901ac7f4a696a28192c1777cff6e)
I am also an outcast among most. But I really don't care. They don't pay my bills, buy my food or in any other way have control over my life.
Hey we all fit in as NON FIT IN'S ;D
Yes I agree I never felt comfortable to fit in with others.
Anyway I know I am the only sane one and have the certificate from my therapist to prove it.
Everyone is welcome to talk to me. Ok I don't to the chat room but I'm pretty well out on the threads all the time. No reason to feel lonely. Public, private posts are welcome. If you want insulting laughs try Aunty Cindy's Agony Column, If you want general meet people try Cindy's Newbies.
If you just want a private talk, pm me.
If you want to raise a topic and are unsure how, let me know I'll guide you or do it for you.
This is a support site, we support, so don't be nervous, we know what it is like to grow up TG and not be used to developing friendships.
That is part of what the site is about, getting over that hurdle.
So plunge on in, if you need help and advice on how to do stuff, ask staff. My door is always open to new and old friends.
Cindy
You are def. not alone Chrissy
I spent most of my life not fitting in :-\ How could I fit in anywhere if I didn't even feel comfortable with my own being? Eventually I stopped trying to fit in and decided to just be me
So then the journey began to find my true self and true friendships
Stick around, there are good friends and maybe even a best friend hiding in the woodwork :)
Hugs
I fit right in with the people who accept me for who I am. They are the sort of people I want to fit in with.
Sometimes I feel lonely, but it passes. Coming here helps a lot.
Karen.
Reading the OP's title I just think of: How about TTH ...? trying to hard?!
In the case of TTH nothing but NOTHING will be worse by trying even harder.
It's a bit like using make-up... less might work better than TTH; unless we are cat-walk-models and most of us really aren't ::)
Axélle
Quote from: Axélle on July 26, 2012, 07:21:42 PM
Reading the OP's title I just think of: How about TTH ...? trying to hard?!
In the case of TTH nothing but NOTHING will be worse by trying even harder.
It's a bit like using make-up... less might work better than TTH; unless we are cat-walk-models and most of us really aren't ::)
Axélle
So true. Sometimes the singular "odd" person is the essential element that makes the whole room / family / village / office / nut house / cathedral harmonious and beautiful. You fit in the best in this world when you are truest to your self - sometimes you are unique, but your uniqueness may be the very thing that your world needs most! Have you ever seen a forest where all the trees are the same? Yes, it's called a wood lot and people chop it down for pulp. Have you ever seen a flower arrangement where all the flowers are the same? Yes. It's dull as dandruff, and anyone with sense will break it up and add a flaming orchid or a dazzling daisy to bring out everyone's character and charm.
We are the cinnamon on the bun, we are the salsa on the taco, we are the head on the shoulders.
There is a huge difference between fitting in (this is ME, and I belong wherever I GO) and blending in (this is taupe, yawn, snore zzzzzz).
I don't fit in anywhere and after years of trying, I gave up. I do my own thing.
Quote from: Axélle on July 26, 2012, 07:21:42 PM
Reading the OP's title I just think of: How about TTH ...? trying to hard?!
In the case of TTH nothing but NOTHING will be worse by trying even harder.
It's a bit like using make-up... less might work better than TTH; unless we are cat-walk-models and most of us really aren't ::)
Axélle
I am sure I am misunderstanding what you said here but are you telling me I am trying to hard or not hard enough?
I could be wrong, but I think what Axelle was saying, is that a big part of fitting in with others depends on being ourselves and not trying too hard to fit in.
Trying hard enough (trying in a good way): When we reach for things in ourselves that we have in common with the people around us, and really pay attention to the people around us,sharing those things can bring us closer.
Trying too hard (trying in a bad way): If we try to change ourselves into someone we're not just so that we have something in common, that makes us more strained in our presentation and can make us more, not less awkward. People pick up on that really quick and tend to pull away if we aren't being real.
It's a paradox, but often we fit in best when we stop trying to fit in and just turn our attention away from our selves and towards the other nervous, awkward, trying-too-hard, wonderful people around us.
It can be especially hard if we've struggled for years with gender issues because we may have never felt safe / comfortable / confident being ourselves. We can think we don't fit in when actually we just aren't letting ourselves be all here, right now, and open to the world. :embarrassed:
When we finally drop the act, we can find friends we never knew we had. I think that's why I feel so close to people here at Susans - because I can relax and stop worrying if I'm too much for people to handle. >:-)
yup thats what I thought to. And thats the exact area I have problems is where that line is. I am working on it but its tough to figure out sometimes