Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: ativan on July 23, 2012, 09:17:11 PM

Title: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: ativan on July 23, 2012, 09:17:11 PM
The forest is a pretty big place and we haven't the slightest idea of how to keep from getting lost.
We do eventually keep coming back to some familiar places, though.
What about the people and creatures that inhabit this leafy domain?
They all seem to have a story or at least something to talk about.
Where have you been? Were are you going?
Did you see that...
You should go check it out.

It is time for a long over due drift of a thread.

Did I over hear someone talking about flying farts in space?
Never mind, I have a rope swing at my tree house.

(this is the part were everyone talks about weird ->-bleeped-<- or just talks ->-bleeped-<-)
(this is how we indirectly find out stuff from each other, by answering the questions before they're asked)
(It's commonly known as drifting, as in a conversation that just drifts, idle speculation being what it is)

It's time to kick back and drift on... starting a few lines back, up there, something about...
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Pica Pica on July 24, 2012, 02:14:38 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fopen.jorum.ac.uk%2Fxmlui%2Fbitstream%2Fhandle%2F123456789%2F748%2FItems%2FE301_1_006i.jpg&hash=315ff4a7922f852f94c4418f3f96fac7c9f7bcd9)
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Jamie D on July 24, 2012, 02:31:27 AM
Pooh!
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: foosnark on July 24, 2012, 09:42:45 AM
Right, I'm staying away from that bee tree.  I don't like honey anyway and I'm diabetic, plus, you know, bees.  Eddie Izzard can wear them well, like other things I can't.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Edge on July 24, 2012, 09:54:12 AM
I'm at Christopher Robin's house.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: aleon515 on July 24, 2012, 12:06:47 PM
100 Aker woods?
Thanks Pica. Love it!!

--Jay Jay
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Jamie D on July 24, 2012, 12:22:13 PM
BTW Ativan, I absolutely LOVE the new avatar.

Now everybody, Ativan makes a serious point, and we're all talking about Winnie the Pooh.

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: eli77 on July 24, 2012, 12:45:02 PM
Quote from: Jamie D on July 24, 2012, 12:22:13 PM
"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."

But it's safe in my corner. And people are scary. :(
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: ativan on July 24, 2012, 01:41:59 PM
"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes."

There is always 'Happy Hour' somewhere in the Forest.
I imagine it's because it's a little slower and lay'd back than the hustle and bustle of the binary cities, 'Male' and 'Female'.
I try to mind my own business in the city and scurry back home.

There's a lot of people traveling through, some stay, others just enjoy there time here.
Sometimes residents will up and move to one of the cities and we miss them, until they come back for a visit.
There are those who just whiz on by, on the road that goes past the Forest. There is a sign at the turn off.

It's a safe place, we all have something to offer, big or small. Wander around or go and visit somewhere.
It's a magical, mystical place where gender isn't an issue.
You just need to look around, maybe just sit back and watch.
I do, sit back and watch. Most of the time.
Even doing that, it seems that passers by will offer clues to things I wonder about.
Which is a lot, I wonder why there are so many things here in the Forest.
Some more familiar than others, some just down right strange.

I was a little scared and worried when I first found myself here.
I found others like me.
We grew in our own ways, supported at times by those who knew their way around a little better.
I'm still not sure that anyone knows everywhere and everything there is here.
I like that though, there is always something it seems that is interesting.
Something that I gain a little insight or knowledge from.
Weird how that can answer questions I don't quite know how to ask.
Keeps from having to ask the question and lets me move on to the next one.
Oh well, I hang around because I like it here the more I just watch and wander.

I just hope I don't offend anyone along the way.
I don't mean to, it just comes off that way I suppose.
I have problems with being bipolar, with a bunch of NOS thrown in.
They just don't know what to make of me, it must be that Aspie thing.
Those regular (there isn't any normal) people have a hard time relating to that thing, too.
Huh, a bipolar non-binary Aspie. In the forest.
I wonder if I'm not one of those scary things.

Yep, I find I need the safety of my tree house, at times.
We all do sometimes, but we need to wander sometimes, just as much.

Ativan



Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Jamie D on July 25, 2012, 02:06:48 AM
I believe we agreed some time ago that it was liberating to run naked through the jungle.

I was a little scared and worried when I first found myself here.
I found others like me.
We grew in our own ways, supported at times by those who knew their way around a little better.
I'm still not sure that anyone knows everywhere and everything there is here.
I like that though, there is always something it seems that is interesting.


You were the one for me who "knew their way a little bit better."

I have benefited immensely from your wisdom.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Edge on July 25, 2012, 08:30:31 AM
I'm in the part of the forest where the wild things are. I don't quite fit in with the rest of the forest and wonder if I'm the only wild thing. I long to move to a city. I don't like slowness unless I'm tired, so I spend many of my days in a city. Maybe I have a lab in the male one. Maybe I will move to one of the cities and get a house or apartment. But I get the feeling I'll want this place in the forest to come back to because I'll always be a wild thing no matter what my gender.
I might eat you up. I insist on being king, but I am my only subject. I talk about myself too much.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: suzifrommd on July 25, 2012, 09:22:39 AM
My feet are hurting from wandering round this forest for months. Really hurting. Like I don't want to take another step. I'm looking for a place to sit.

When I meet people, I ask them for directions for a bench. Most of the time, I follow their directions, make all the turns they suggest, and find myself at the gates of the male city. I don't want to sit there. They act like I don't have feelings, judge me on my likes and dislikes and have a standard of behavior that I don't want to follow.

A couple of people give me a different set of directions. These are friendly people, people who listened to my story, put their arms around my shoulders, tell me that what is happening to me is terrible, that everyone should be able to sit down without having to live the way they do in the male city. "We are members of the MtF tribe," they tell me. "We know another place you can sit down."

I follow their instructions carefully, and end up at the gates of the female city. It looks like a wonderful, comfortable place, the place I've always wanted to live! I imagine how great it would be to sit, even for a few minutes, in the female city. The gate keeper takes a look at me. "Not sure we'll let you in, but might be worth finding out. Tell you what will do. Go into that building there, where they'll burn off all your body hair. Then that office there, so you can be given the drugs. They will screw up your system so you don't feel like yourself, but we all have those drugs, so you'll have to have them too. And of course you'll need all new clothes. The ones you have will never do. Eventually we'll cut off your personal parts, but for now, just tape them up or something so we don't see them. Okay, once you do all that, come back to me, and I'll let you know whether you can stay here and sit on our benches."

So here I am, still wandering the forest with hurt feet...
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Edge on July 25, 2012, 09:35:10 AM
*big wild thing hug*
Cis women can have as much body hair as they can grow if they want and wear whatever clothes they want. So can trans women in my opinion.
And cis men don't have to follow that standard of behaviour and/or act like they don't have feelings. Neither should trans men if they don't want to.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Pica Pica on July 25, 2012, 02:29:33 PM
I see myself rather like mole in wind and the willows, I have a very warm burrow I am happy in, and sometimes I might leave it and have adventures with ratty.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: EmmaM on July 25, 2012, 08:34:22 PM
Psssst.

Boo!

Haha! Hi, friends!
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: eli77 on July 26, 2012, 12:15:28 AM
Wow, hi Emma! How have you been the last... half year?

O.o

Have you really been gone that long?
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: EmmaM on July 26, 2012, 03:20:07 AM
Probably 6 months, yeah. Great, not great, awesome,tired, awake... I have more grey hair now. A lightning storm is conspiring to keep me awake. It succeeded.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: foosnark on July 26, 2012, 09:38:31 AM
I am one of those animals where, when you (or I) try to pinpoint where I am, I'm not there.  Like the Heisenberg Uncertainy Principle applied to the macro scale.  I don't know where I am or where I'm going.  Mostly I'm okay with that, but trying to give my address can be frustrating.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: ativan on July 26, 2012, 02:52:39 PM
The rules and use of a GPS unit just don't apply to the Forest.
I think there is an uncertainty principle that applies to most everyone, once they have entered the Forest.
Schrodingers Forest might be a way of describing it  ;)

Ativan
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: BlueSloth on August 04, 2012, 01:23:45 AM
I follow the branches to where the leaves look greenest.  Sometimes I poke my head out of the tree to find out where I am, and I see people on the ground whizzing by, going who knows where.

Sloths are very Heisenburgian.  Nobody knows where we are, but they know how slow we're going.  And nobody knows when we'll do anything, but they know how little energy we have.

*Easily disappears back into the trees like a clawed ninja*

*Lowers a hammock in case agfrommd wanders by*
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Kinkly on August 04, 2012, 07:30:08 PM
I live it the tree house near the waterfall you can find me swinging on my swing or swimming at the base of the waterfall, pop by anytime
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Edge on September 09, 2012, 11:58:21 AM
As predicted, I have gotten an apartment in the male city where I stay sometimes as well as my lab where I work, but my home is still in the forest. I don't feel like I quite belong with other residents of the forest since I feel like I belong in the male city, but I also know that the forest is where my heart is and will always be where I belong as well. I am still a wild thing even though I am a male wild thing. A male wild thing that still sometimes refers to himself as "she" and isn't wrong, but isn't any less male because of it.
I wonder how the other residents of the forest are doing. If they consider me one of them or an outsider or both. I wonder if agfrommd has found a place to sit that she likes and if he will come visit me sometime.
I wonder what the people of the city think of me. If they see me as a outsider or as one of them or both.
"The rules and use of a GPS unit just don't apply to the forest." I like that. It allows me to be as contradictory as I am.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Padma on September 09, 2012, 12:35:50 PM
I feel like I'm doing that flying squirrel, glide-from-tree-to-tree thing - but it's mainly to show off my new waistcoat ;D.

It's such a relief to be outdoors. The air is amazing here.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: tekla on September 09, 2012, 12:56:14 PM
Live with us in forests of azure.
Out here on the perimeter there are no stars.
Out here we is stoned immaculate."

Now listen to this, and I'll tell you about the heartache
I'll tell you about the heartache and the loss of God.
I'll tell you about the hopeless night.
The meager food for souls forgot.
I'll tell you about the maiden with wrought-iron soul.

I tell you this,
No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.


Jim Morrison
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Pica Pica on September 09, 2012, 03:58:34 PM
EEEEeey the talent's arrived.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: tekla on September 09, 2012, 04:45:56 PM
Jim was the real deal alright, even the obscure stuff is brilliance.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: Pica Pica on September 09, 2012, 05:20:43 PM
Was talking about you.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: ativan on September 09, 2012, 05:35:48 PM
Quote from: Pica Pica on September 09, 2012, 05:20:43 PM
Was talking about you.
Tekla  :o  :)
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: suzifrommd on September 10, 2012, 11:36:11 AM
Quote from: Edge on September 09, 2012, 11:58:21 AM
I wonder if agfrommd has found a place to sit that she likes and if he will come visit me sometime.

Well, I'm still here in the forest where I belong, but unfortunately I spend my days and some of my evenings in the Male city where I know I don't.

But a few days ago I sneaked into the female city for an afternoon. It was hard getting in, required a lot of work and knowledge. No one said anything (but I did get a couple of weird looks). Despite how hard it was to get in, I really want to go back there, and maybe live there permanently like I always wished I could. Except I really belong in the forest and I don't know if I'd be happy staying there.

Oct. 12, I have an appointment with a therapist, someone who will (hopefully) help me figure this all out.

And Edge, I'm happy to visit any time, wherever we both end up.
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: ativan on September 10, 2012, 12:47:15 PM
Just like IRL, there are many people who live in more than one place.
Even live different lives, depending one where they are.

There isn't anything wrong, even remotely with that.
Who hasn't tried out different life styles, one way or the other?
It's less and less so as we grow older, as we tend to settle into a groove that suites us.

When it comes to gender, many have secrets that they either ignore or act on. Maybe.
For those of us who have grown into their groove, making the decision to do something about it can be difficult.
Only in the sense that we are so used to where have ended up or become.
For those who are still trying to find their selves, are willing to pay attention to gender, it's a difficult decision.
We aren't sure, either way, in the beginning as to were we will end up.
That would be the 'oh for sure' natural effect of making such a decision in a binary world.
There are many who just pass by the forest, intent on their getting to the next place.
But there are those who stop by, maybe come back to stay, maybe to visit.
So long as they aren't doing something to like, burn the place down, they are always welcome.
Just as we aren't expected to do the same in the cities. It's all good when we respect were we are.

Whether you live in a city and visit the country, were the forest seems to be, it's all OK.
They have parks in most cities, were they go to be with the trees, so to speak.
Where you choose to be doesn't disqualify you from being being someone who belongs in the city or forest.
There are many people from the forest who have a duality in their lives.
I don't know for sure, but I imagine the same holds true for city dwellers.
Why not? Because it's unsettling or confusing? Don't let it bother you. You don't need to.
Everyone does this whether it shows, whether they are willing to admit it or not.
We do this to one degree or another, at one time or another. You'll live through it, we do that.

There are no rules as to just how much of one place or the other you belong to.
Belong in both? Many do just that.
Don't let the strangeness of discovery ruin a perfectly fine journey to find yourself.
It gets better, and if it doesn't, there isn't anything that says you have to do anything in the first place.
It's up to you, and you only. A therapist is nothing more than a guide in life.
There's no guarantee that they know any better than you will, where you are going.
But they are usually pretty good to whatever degree, at keeping you from stepping off a cliff.

Don't let that 'did I remember to turn the stove off' effect ruin your journey.
And never let anyone tell you you have to go to or live in any one place.
It's your life, live it that way.

It's always good to visit with friends,
Ativan
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: foosnark on September 13, 2012, 09:05:08 AM
Sometimes the forest is the only real thiing, and the cities may as well be Atlantis and El Dorado.

Sometimes I live in Atlantis and worry about it sinking.  But I get postcards from El Dorado that have my own handwriting on them.

("Postcards From El Dorado" sounds like a movie title.)
Title: Re: Now that I'm in the Androgyn Forest, how do I find my way around?
Post by: tekla on September 13, 2012, 10:58:25 AM
We live in a time when forests are all nice and we get all tree-huggie in them (the woods are lovely dark and deep).  But that is a modern invention.  In pre-industrial (ie. before radical deforestation) forests were dark and scary places into which only the bravest people ventured, only if they had too and, at that, never at night.  (See: Grimm's Fairy Tales)  People who lived in the forest were considered beyond civilization - a place beyond the fences that kept the dark creatures of the night away - literally beyond the pale.  Forests were often trackless and disorientating, easy to get lost in and hard to find a way out of.  They were almost always haunted.

So the people of the forest have a different set of rules, use a different compass in the land beyond GPS, and live lives where the constraints and customs of the townspeople no longer apply.  And the old warning still apply, that's its easy to walk in, hard to get out.