I went to see some female friends and asked them what sort of female name would suit me in thier opinion.
I mentioned that I liked Diana.
Mainly because my own name starts with the letter D and it would make my signature easy.
However the girls decided that my nickname suited me better.
Holly.
I have a friend that changed her name three times before deciding on Jayne.
The thing is when you have to give banks personal information like mothers maiden name can you just not say her name or will they give you another choice.
Remember, though, that it's going to be your name. Discussing it with your friends is fine, but ultimately you should choose something with which you will be comfortable. A bit like the other modifications you make. ;)
One thing to consider is what kind of names are used by other women of roughly your age. The popularity of names changes over time, sometimes surprisingly fast, and so currently popular names might not be appropriate. You'd probably want your name to sound like you, not like your mother or daughter.
I'm baffled about the question about banks, though, but that's because I'm culturally challenged. Over here the banks don't ask for things like mothers' maiden names. Why would they?
Nfr
Do you find the name Diana being that of a goddess also being appealing? I mean it's a classical name, so I love it automatically, but is there another appeal you find in the name?
-- Brede
I think that Holly is a sweet name but surley you have to find a name that you are comfortable with,
Quote from: lolli on April 26, 2007, 12:16:30 PM
The thing is when you have to give banks personal information like mothers maiden name can you just not say her name or will they give you another choice.
You lost me. Why wouldn't you want to give your mother's maiden name? I understand the MYOB aspect of it, but you've already left a paper trail. Somebody official out there knows the truth.
As far as your name, why can't you be Diana and still have Holly as a nickname? You didn't get a say in your birth name. Since you're taking a new name, choose one that feels right to you. You're the one that has to live with it.
THink of choosing a name as shopping for the perfect ensemble. You try everything on and see how it feels for a while. You may decide that, while it works, a name doesn't quite fit you the way you want to. If that's so, then try another!
That's what I have done. WHile "Chaunte" is my screen name, it won't be my legal name. It didn't fit quite right.
Another thought, given to me many moons ago, is to loudly say the name at least a hundred times. If you get tired of it before then, then it probably won't fit.
Chaunte
Quote from: Chaunte on April 28, 2007, 09:59:46 AM
Another thought, given to me many moons ago, is to loudly say the name at least a hundred times. If you get tired of it before then, then it probably won't fit.
I kinda thought of it the other way... I wanted a name that seemed boring to me, lol. Seriously - once I picked a name that I *didn't* notice or think twice about it, I figured that meant it was right for me.
Come to think of it, I apply that to TSism to... in the sense that I definately NOTICE being a boy (being treated as one, trying to fit in as one, etc.), but being a girl is just... boring almost, lol. It's just being ME really, not "being a girl" per se.
What kinda made up my mind though was when I worked with a Katie for a few months before I came out at work, and every darn time someone would yell
"Hey, Katie!" to her, I'd find myself reflexively responding, lol. Ooops ;)
~Kate~
Kate, that's a pretty good clue. Lol.
Anyway, you've got a point. Transition is fixing the external reality to match your mental image as closely as possible, and your name is a part of that reality. The new one should feel like naturally yours, not noticeable in any way. Of course, it will eventually, but it's easier to get one that feels right to start with.
(By the by, there's some neurolinguistic evidence that nouns come in three categories: common nouns, like rose or car, proper names, like Rose ;) or London, and finally one's own name.)
Nfr
I think Holly is a pretty name, but in the final analysis, you have to chose a name that speaks to you personally, deep in your spirit.
I didn't chose Beverly.....my mother chose it for my middle name. I hated that name most of my younger life, trying hard to get mixed in with all the boys. With a name like Beverly, that wasn't easy. Sort of like Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue". lol....it did toughen me up.
Mom's gone now, and I have taken the name as my first name. I have come to love that which I once hated. I think I knew since the age of about four that I would eventually end up being Beverly, like it or not. Like it? I love it!
Thanks, Mom.....I love you.
Beverly
Sorry for being late in replying this Vista is screwing with my head trying to install my software and being refused as its not compatible :-\
The reason I bought up bank accounts is that here in the UK when being asked for security questions for your accounts they ask you your mothers maiden name.
With Mum and me its a clash of stubboness and personalites.
Also when I can start as Holly aka !!! I want to start afresh, a break from the family.
though over here the birth certificate can be changed to female and a new National insurance working number can be issued.
My own number pertains to a male.
I like your name Kate, straight and to the point where as say Samantha is a double barreled name, its too long.
Kate as a name tells it as it is.
Kate if that tag pic of you is you then I would say your a Kate.
And your right a name should fit with your age group.
I asked Ben at work to call me Holly but he said that regardless of what I do, to him I will always be called Dominic.
I know I could change that to Dominque, but thats too long and is comprised of two words when you break them apart.
Don't fret too much about people not switching to your new name: eventually they will, at least the ones worth talking to. The longer they have known you the longer it wil take, and the more contact they have with you after transition the faster it will hapen. But as with every change, it will take some time getting used to, and even you will have to learn your name all over again.
Because changing names takes time, you shouldn't rush it. Take your time to find one you can live with. If you are happy with Holly by all means keep it, but if you have doubts your friends will understand if you don't accept their suggestion.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
(Ph.D. in some aspects of how names work. Never expected to give therapeutic advice on it, though. ;) )
Nfr
Your name is YOUR thing.
I like Holly, but you have to live with what you choose.
I suggest you do it like I did.... Wait until it hits you. When I chose mine, it hit me like a brick out of nowhere one day. I chose Trinity because mind+body+soul.
Quote from: lolli aka Holly on April 29, 2007, 06:40:34 AM
Kate as a name tells it as it is.
Funny, that's exactly why I liked it too! And it reflects a lesson that keeps coming back to haunt me (don't be ambiguous, don't waver, don't hesitate - be concise and direct)
QuoteKate if that tag pic of you is you then I would say your a Kate.
Only in my dreams is that me, lol. But that's gotta count for something?
QuoteI asked Ben at work to call me Holly...
For what it's worth, I *really* like Holly. It does fit your personality, your "feel" to me. I have a friend named Holly, and hearing her name always sounds so cheerful, so hopeful to my ears.
Quotebut he said that regardless of what I do, to him I will always be called Dominic.
I know I could change that to Dominque, but thats too long and is comprised of two words when you break them apart.
He may come around in time. Either way though, don't do anything just to make it easier for other people. Pick a name YOU like.
~Kate~
Not that it'll help a whole lot... but I got super lucky, I have always loved the name Danielle, i think it's so pretty...
Well, my parents did me the honor of naming me Daniel.... ROFL, just add 2 letters and YAY! done
my siblings and close friends still call me Danni, but that doesn't really bother me, it's kinda cute...
Definitely go for a name YOU want, and if you still like Holly, use it as a nickname for a bit, if it gets old, stop using it, no biggie
*hugglez*
Quote from: Chaunte on April 28, 2007, 09:59:46 AM
THink of choosing a name as shopping for the perfect ensemble. You try everything on and see how it feels for a while. You may decide that, while it works, a name doesn't quite fit you the way you want to. If that's so, then try another!
I really cannot relate to that idea. I've known lots of girls who seem to have names dujour, but I've never wanted any other name.
No, my real name is not Cindi Jones. That's my pen name.
I needed a name when I got a credit card to go out en femme. I couldn't think of anything right off hand, so I picked a name from a song I liked (a French name made famous by the Beatles song). For my last name, I chose a single syllable name that is very common... it also happened to be the last name of a model I was shooting for her portfolio. No middle name. I wanted it short and sweet.
I figured that the new name would be common and easy to spell for anyone. I didn't want to have to repeat my name nor spell it to anyone because of "the voice". Nope. It hasn't worked out that way. I can't believe how hard it is for some people to spell such a common name!
In any case, it has worked out for me. Occasionally I have wondered why I didn't give it more thought, but ultimately, it has been fine. My name, although seemingly very feminine, seems to fit me fine and I am very comfortable with it.
Cindi
Well, my mom would have named me Ursula if I'd been born a girl. The single source of positivity about being TG is that I won't be named Ursula if/when i transition. :laugh:
I picked Autumn here because last fall was the turning point in my life that picked me up from pretty much rock bottom (though thankfully my crash wasn't as hard as so many others.) Coincidentally the fall is where the old growth dies off and plants rest so that they can bloom beautifully again later. That only dawned on me yesterday.
In any case, it's actually growing on me as a name to actually use in the event I get a namechange. Prior to that I had a fondness for Daphne, but it looks so odd written and is from an older generation than mine anyway. Though it's rather elegant when spoken.
If Diana is the name that clicks for you inside, then go with it. But you said it's mostly because it's the same first letter... which is less of a good reason than your friends present for holly, i think :p
When I am playing around as my female self I usually call myself Rose...however my real surname starts in an 's' making Rose S*** sound like my name would be Roe - and I don't want anyone confusing me with fish eggs. So I give myself my great-grandmother's maiden name as my surname.
Although I plan not to transition, I do need a new name, my own being a bit pedestrian to go on the front of a novel. I have chosen Lilly, after one of my recently deceased grannies, this would make me the third Lilly in our family named after our granny but hey.
I always go for floral names, my grannys beeing Lilly and Violet, my Godmother being Rose - so I like Holly.
Maybe you should tell some friends to call you Holly and the others call you Diana, see which one works best.
Quote from: Pica Pica on May 14, 2007, 05:45:12 PM
When I am playing around as my female self I usually call myself Rose...however my real surname starts in an 's' making Rose S*** sound like my name would be Roe - and I don't want anyone confusing me with fish eggs.
Have you thought about "Rosalee?"
Have you thought about "Rosalee?"
[/quote]
I haven't,
Sounds a bit Gypsy Rose Lee, but one strand of my maternal line is romany...so that may be quite a good callback
Diana sounds like a beautiful name ^_^
I know a lot of people try to make their new name sound similar to their old name, probably so they and their family can easily adjust to the new name. For example: I was born a Chad Brian Bellefontaine, but now I go by Chandra Brianna Bellefontaine.
You sorted your middle name too. I'd have been tempted to leave the Brian in there for a giggle.
Quote from: Chandra21 on May 16, 2007, 02:25:47 PM
I know a lot of people try to make their new name sound similar to their old name, probably so they and their family can easily adjust to the new name.
I would never do that. It makes it too easy for them to accidentally slip back into using your old name.
My male name sounds nothing like the one i use here but saying that my wont call me lucy.
Quote from: Lisbeth on May 17, 2007, 10:28:01 AM
Quote from: Chandra21 on May 16, 2007, 02:25:47 PM
I know a lot of people try to make their new name sound similar to their old name, probably so they and their family can easily adjust to the new name.
I would never do that. It makes it too easy for them to accidentally slip back into using your old name.
My names are similar, and my friends and coworkers rarely, if ever really, slip up ;)
~Kate~
Lucky me Ive had the same name 4 my inner self online 4 years so I dont have 2 pick a name. It's already there! *claps happily* :laugh:
Jezzy~
Quote from: Pica Pica on May 16, 2007, 04:30:00 PM
You sorted your middle name too. I'd have been tempted to leave the Brian in there for a giggle.
I kept my brazenly feminine middle name (Hannah) 'cause I happen to like it and don't have to use it, and nobody ever called me that so I don't associate it with the miseries of childhood. In fact, I associate it pleasantly with nothing except my dad giving me a name that nobody else in my family has ever borne. They're all big namer-afterers.
Quote from: Kate on May 17, 2007, 10:42:07 AM
Quote from: Lisbeth on May 17, 2007, 10:28:01 AM
Quote from: Chandra21 on May 16, 2007, 02:25:47 PM
I know a lot of people try to make their new name sound similar to their old name, probably so they and their family can easily adjust to the new name.
I would never do that. It makes it too easy for them to accidentally slip back into using your old name.
My names are similar, and my friends and coworkers rarely, if ever really, slip up ;)
Heh. The supportive members of my family, and my friends, had no trouble adjusting to the name change. It took them maybe a month or two to never slip up on the name again, and I never had to snap or snarl about it, I hardly even had to remind them. The members of my family who always have and no doubt always will continue to give my gender-expression the haiiirrrrry eyeball persistantly 'fail' to 'remember' my name in speech and mysteriously cannot spell it in corespondance, in spite of it being only four letters long. And the name that they use for me verbally is the 'I wanna feel like an adult, so drop the
ie (shh, actually I wanna feel less girly)' version of my childhood nickname that I used as a teen for about four or five years before I took a masculine name -- I've had three names in my life and the name my folks are stuck on is the name I had for the shortest period of time. Heh.
Quote from: Lisbeth on May 17, 2007, 10:28:01 AM
Quote from: Chandra21 on May 16, 2007, 02:25:47 PM
I know a lot of people try to make their new name sound similar to their old name, probably so they and their family can easily adjust to the new name.
I would never do that. It makes it too easy for them to accidentally slip back into using your old name.
Well, in my case my family and friends don't use the second name in the first place so they can't slip back into the first. Its a bother, but my family and my bestfriend just can't get used to the fact that I want them to treat me like a female. To my parents I am still their "son" and I don't think I will be able to do much about that until I make the full transition from male to female. My byestfriend says lthat even if I legal change my name to Chandra he will not call me Chandra. I can understand their feelings since they knew me as Chad, and as a male, for years before I actually came out about my gender confusion, but I do have feelings, and being refered to as boy really hurts those feelings.
I suppose Chad could become his pet name for you.
I think you can have a name and a nickname, I like that idea!
When I chose my name I wanted to stick with the letter M as my initials are MMM and I didn't want to change that, then I went to a baby naming web site and looked at male names, found miles and liked it but decided since this was a change for me I changed it to Myles. Which my SO pointed out several days later is my- les (Lesbian) I had to laugh my head off!
Myles
Wow! MMM, I like that...like the noise a person makes when encountering rum and raisen Icecream.
Now that sounds good and I just got back from the store! Guess I'll have to head back out :)
Myles
I was strung to the name Sara ever since I realised who I should have been. No other name could be more perfect for me...
-Sara
Quote from: Sara M. on May 21, 2007, 05:40:27 PM
I was strung to the name Sara ever since I realised who I should have been. No other name could be more perfect for me...
-Sara
I've always liked the name Sarah. I was considering changing my name to it at first. I almost became an Alice (I'm a fan of Alice in Wonderland, and I think Alice Cooper is a hot singer ^_^) or a Shannon too. I took me a lot of thinking to come up with the name Chandra, but now that it is my name, I am happy with it and will stick with it for the rest of my days. ^_^
I played around with various names whilst driving along at work.
My nickname is lolli broken down from holly after stacking a mountain bike in a holly bush and coming out covered in prickles !! :'( ouch.
But neither name grabbed me and to me sounded too baby'ish so I thought a while longer.
I have a female friend called Karen whom I admire for her many endearing qualities and I asked her if she would mind if I used her name as my fem name.
Karen and I threw some names around but she did admit Karen suited me more.
I wont bother with a middle name.
Though I have noted that in the States that some guys at birth are given what we might call girls names here in the UK take for instance John Wayne, it goes to show how much our cultures differ.