When I first came out a friend asked me a question (after he finished choking on his beer, I must work on my timing).
I think he was trying to judge my state of mind & determination, he was very respectfull when he asked "If you could go back in time would you do this earlier? Or if you could take a pill back to make you. . . . . . . . normal, would you"
His use of the word normal had a big pause before it as he struggled to find the right word, no offence was intended by its use.
My knee jerk reaction was to say that I would travel back to transition at a younger age, i'd spent too long dealing with this to consider taking a magic pill.
I know this is a complete fairy tale fantasy, I will never be able to travel back to change my past, if I could do it then a future self would have already visited me & enable my transition decades ago & I wouldn't be sat here now typing this. . . . AARGH!! Time travel gives me a headache!
So it's time for my stupid question that i've not been able to stop mulling over for almost 2 years:
"If you could travel back in time to transition earlier would you?"
Keep in mind that you wouldn't meet many people that you know now, you may not be in the right place at the right time to get that much loved pet etc. etc.
I still can't decide if I would throw away this reality for an alternate reality where I transitioned much earlier if it meant the risk of not meeting certain people & having my beloved Poopie (the dog in my avatar pic)
In a heartbeat.
I would only go back about 6 years as that is when my son was born. I would not trade him for anything.
If I could go back about 25-30 years I would do it in a heartbeat. I would probably be one of the 20 plus year post-ops.
Never
Not in a million years.
My 3 beautiful children brings an immeasurable amount more happiness than my gender presentation could ever bring
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Most of my mind says do it, make the jump back in time and transition. But the small part is like, but you would have never met some of the great people you know now. Like my ex-girlfriend. Reason being is she is one of my best friends in fact she one of few true friends I have now, but what makes her so awesome is she didn't kick me to the curb when I told her I was transitioning. She honestly tried, but in the end she said she is not a lesbian and she respects my decision and is there for me. She has been true to her word. She has been there every step of the way. Just like how I wouldn't apply for a job at work though I was in the process of being laid off because I was waiting for the systems to update my name. My reason, my male side ends here and I will not budge until my name is completed because I just want to move on with my life as Jennifer. She would make me hesitant in traveling back in time and transitioning earlier.
On another note, if I never met her, I would so do it in a heart beat.
Jennifer
Wow, I hadn't expect this many replies so quickly.
I understand why some people would not want to give up their kids or friendships, my first reaction was just like Laura, John & Ms. OBrien but I then get stuck on the wonderful memories of my time with my ex, holidays on a narrowboat with her were a joy.
We've had more good times than bad & only had a handful of arguments in 8 yrs.
Also I wouldn't have my dog who is a bundle of clumsy love on 4 legs.
Not me. I am avoiding transitioning as long as I possibly can. I never liked being male, but eventually I became fairly good at it. Or at least I thought I was.
Now I find out that I was a bit more transparent than I thought. It turns out that friends family and co-workers knew way before I did.
Women knew that I was one of them and men knew I wasn't male. At family holiday gatherings, where the men drifted off to one corner and the women to the other, I'd always end up with the women.
I could never have been a 25 year old girl, but I make a pretty respectable 60 year old woman.
Randi
Instantly. My biggest satisfaction is my career. If I gave that up to be me 30+ yrs ago I would.
If I could travel back in time, first I'd go further back to prevent the things happening that made it impossible for me to transition earlier - then I'd transition earlier. I didn't transition earlier because it wasn't safe to. I'd go back and make it safe to. Priorities :).
The trouble with going back in time to alter your own past is that if you did, then you would have no current need to go back and alter your own past, so there would likely be a paradox. But there is always the chance that timelines could diverge if you go back to alter your past so that you personally wouldn't get the benefit, but yourself in the timeline that branched off could. So you would really never really know for sure if you were successful in your goal of altering your past unless you could travel to other timelines, but then that could possibly open a whole other can of worms.
Eh... wibbly wobby, timey-wimey... :)
If I had been asked this at 15 I would have said yes, but as everything that I have experienced brought me to where I am now, so I would say no if I was asked today.
Quote from: Padma on October 19, 2012, 05:03:24 AM
Eh... wibbly wobby, timey-wimey... :)
The Doctor would be very happy to hear you've been taking notes
I go ding when there's stuff.
Quote from: Jaime on October 19, 2012, 04:57:46 AM
The trouble with going back in time to alter your own past is that if you did, then you would have no current need to go back and alter your own past, so there would likely be a paradox. But there is always the chance that timelines could diverge if you go back to alter your past so that you personally wouldn't get the benefit, but yourself in the timeline that branched off could. So you would really never really know for sure if you were successful in your goal of altering your past unless you could travel to other timelines, but then that could possibly open a whole other can of worms.
This is why time travel gives me a headache
Would it have really been better? Is it possible that things could have actually been worse and could one have handled it at that time? How many other people would have been hurt by it? Think about all the wisdom that would have been lost that would not be able to be passed on. How many others have been helped by that? How would it have affected their lives if they didn't have that to learn from?
I'm suprised no-one has said about going back with several weeks worth of winning lottery numbers so when they transition they can do it in financial comfort.
Quote from: SarahM777 on October 19, 2012, 05:17:18 AM
Would it have really been better? Is it possible that things could have actually been worse and could one have handled it at that time? How many other people would have been hurt by it? Think about all the wisdom that would have been lost that would not be able to be passed on. How many others have been helped by that? How would it have affected their lives if they didn't have that to learn from?
That's alot of questions!!
It could have been better if I could have convinced my parents to allow me medication to prevent my male puberty. It could have been worse due to medical knowledge in the early 80's being more limited.
I don't think any more people would have been hurt, my dad would still be an intolerant idiot regardless of what decade I transitioned in, my mother would have probably accepted it easier, one of the hurdles she keeps failing on right now is that she's known me as male for 37 years.
If i'd gone back to my childhood as an adult then i'd have the verbal skills to better explain to my parents what not transitioning will put me through.
If the time travel put me in my childhood body then i'd know that hiding the desire to dress & play as a female would make it harder for my parents to accept this when I come out.
Also, if I went back i'd cram my brain beforehand with all the medical knowledge of today to push the science of transitioning forward by decades.
If there was room in my brain after all that then i'd learn all I could about microchips so that I could push computer tech forward by decades & be rich, rich, rich!!
Yes and no. It was a bad time to transition in the late 70s when I knew for sure on the other hand I was 21 and I could have had better results.Medical procedures weren't as good and society not as accepting and equality laws non existent.
i wouldn't. there's no point going back unless i could tell my 10-year-old self that there's a way to escape puberty, for my family to accept me, make the doctors understand, and leave myself a note that i have to make this time travel in the future. that would end up as a seriously weird time paradox where my younger self is visited by my transitioned self, and is so scared by it that they'd refuse to do anything and i just end up right where i am now anyway. i'd be caught in a neverending loop of impossibilities and probably commit suicide just to make it end.
but the main reason why i wouldn't go back in time is that if i did anything when i was young enough for it to matter (for my body), i wouldn't have my daughter. and i really don't want that. the boyfriend was a mistake, but one that i would not want to change. i am the person i am because of the way i've lived after all, i wouldn't want to become someone else.
I regret I couldn't start my transition sooner. But, I wasn't ready for various reasons.
Even if I could go back, I doubt I'd listen to me anyway. I was bullheaded and very afraid.
I'm suprised how many replies this topic has recieved in the space of a few hours.
It seems to be a 50/50 split as to who would or wouldn't travel back, I almost put a poll on here but after seeing the in depth replies i'm glad I didn't, a poll would never have conveyed the emotion of many of these replies
Quote from: Annah on October 18, 2012, 10:54:35 PM
Never
Not in a million years.
My 3 beautiful children brings an immeasurable amount more happiness than my gender presentation could ever bring
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They are beautiful, Annah. And the redhead in the middle reminds me of me when I was that age.
Quote from: Jayne on October 18, 2012, 10:40:21 PM
If you could go back in time would you do this earlier?
No. Like Annah, I would not give up my kids for anything.
Quote from: Jayne on October 18, 2012, 10:40:21 PM
Or if you could take a pill back to make you. . . . . . . . normal, would you
Absolutely. I'm in transition now, so I might as well continue. But this has cost me my marriage, and I'm still reeling from that.
Quote from: John Smith on October 18, 2012, 10:42:29 PM
In a heartbeat.
Now that I'm not in a hurry, I guess I could add more.
When talking about "going back and transitioning earlier", I'm thinking going back to 18 would be a suitable time, taking my living situation at the time into consideration. That means I'd still have my son, he would just get to grow up with a spare dad rather than a miserable mom. :p Apart from that, I really would not miss out on anything by changing my life around at that age. I haven't met anyone I couldn't do without, I'd probably get the same education (but be more focused and doing better with my studies).
Every now and then when I was teaching history I'd kill some time by doing a time machine deal - asking if they could use one where would they go back to? Overwhelmingly the Middle Ages won. And I always felt obligated to tell the kids that what they picture as the Middle Ages, and why they want to go --- that whole Kings, Queens, Princess, Knights and the "Court" thing --- was confined to a very, very, VERY small section of the population. Just playing the odds, if you got send back to the Middle Ages, you'd be a peasant. Turnips for breakfast, lunch and dinner - assuming you had turnips, other wise you'd just starve.
What questions like this are really asking I think is: If you could make your life perfect, would you? And I've yet to meet anyone who has a perfect life. A pill to make you 'normal' - what exactly is that? What you mean of course is that you'd no longer have GID, and that weirdness would not be in your life, but nature abhors a vacuum and all that, and some other weirdness would come rushing in. I mean that, while you might think you're pretty uniquely weird - and perhaps you are - but it's not unique at all to be weird in some way. As bad as GID is for some, perhaps many, there are many that are much worse.
Goodbye, Mama and Papa
Goodbye, Jack and Jill
The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter
either side of the hill.
I would transition earlier if I could. No doubts about that. I mean, there's definitely stuff I'd be leaving behind... but I can't honestly say I'd miss anything that I have right now if I could live my life again.
As far as time machines in general... there is no way I'd be travelling back in time unless I could be a kid again, and write notes to myself. The middle ages, victorian era, and all those other time periods before now are really quite horrible in comparison to today's relative paradise. Assuming, of course, the time machine also travels through space - travelling back in time to ancient North America is a different story... and I would still not want to do that.
If it travels through space and time, and I can return to the present, then I'd go to Israel, 2000 years ago, to see what really happened for myself.
But yeah. I'd be a kid again, write notes to myself, and send myself my PC as proof that the notes are from the future.
Quote from: TessaM on October 19, 2012, 11:43:30 AM
In the car on the way home we were listening to talk radio. Guess what the subject was. TRANSEXUALS. My mom asked me if this was what I was. I said no, because the way she asked it she sounded concerned, as if it were not a good thing. I wish I could go back to this very moment in time and scream YES!!!
I can so relate to that, when I was about 12 or 13 my mum took me out into the garden for a chat, she had noticed that I was miserable most of the time, I couldn't mix with the other girls & didn't want to mix with the boys, I spent much of my time with a book as company.
I remeber as clear as day the look of concern on her face when she asked me why I was so unhappy, I had the words stuck in my mouth & screaming through my brain but my voice wouldn't work.
I think I blamed my unhappy state as being caused by my excema, I remember the excuse was pretty lame.
Thinking back about how concerned she looked I think she would have been relieved if i'd opened up & told her what the problem was & how I would rather die than carry on as a boy, all she cared about was my happiness.
Now that i've left it so long she's finding it hard to accept, i'm sure it's because she's known me as male for 37 yrs, also at that age I was acting quite feminine with my body language so I doubt it would have been as much of a shock
Tekla, you've made a good point about wishing to make life perfect but I know that transitioning will never make that happen for me because i'll always have my other health issues to deal with.
Even going back with knowledge about modern medicine wouldn't help because even the best they have to offer only hides the problems a little bit.
If I was going to make my life perfect then i'd have to travel forward in time to gain the medical knowledge to clear all of my health issues, i'd then have to travel to the past to fix my health issues but this wouldn't guarantee a perfect life.
The next step would be to ensure I was rich, either by using my time travel ability to win the lottery several times or taking modern technology back to make a fortune.
Then I would have to buy an island because anytime life gets close to perfection some idiot walks through the door & ruins it by opening their mouth.
WOW...I was only going to do a very short reply!!
On the question you bought up about what time in history would you go to my answer is easy & instant, prehistoric times. i would make it my mission to see & study as many dinosaurs as possible (hopefully before one ate me)
Nah, I wouldn't, because I know where I'm at now, and it's pretty damn good. So why risk losing that on something that may or may not actually be better? I wouldn't give up the people I've known or the experiences I've had for anything, even the possibility of living as a guy from as early as possible.
Definitely would not take a pill to make me "normal" either because I would be somebody else.
My answers to these would have been different a few years ago.
The next step would be to ensure I was rich, either by using my time travel ability to win the lottery several times or taking modern technology back to make a fortune
I've spent a good chunk of my life for over 40 years hangin' with people who have lots, and lots, and lots of money. Fame too. And some of them are pretty much the most miserable people I've ever met. (others are fantastically happy - it's a crapshoot really.)
And all these posts taken together really show that it's not just one thing, it's a bunch of stuff all stacked together.
I haven't transitioned yet, so what do I know? I'm out and presenting at home to my wife and kids, but no way.
as a woman, I have some ambition, easier accepted and accomplished as a man. It's dark, but true, and it's easier as a guy.
I'm done with it after only ten years mind you, but it was useful.
Well, I'm pretty young, so I don't know how much earlier I could get. Maybe before my voice deepened? Then again, I made my first friends in 8th grade, so I doubt I'd want to lose that.
I wonder why time travel fascinates people? We know it is impossible but it seems to have been a subject of interest in fiction and in life for ages.
Do we really want to change our pasts or is it like dreaming of winning the lottery? The impossible dream that we don't have to deal with, it can just be a fantasy?
Quote from: Cindy James on October 20, 2012, 01:38:19 AM
I wonder why time travel fascinates people? We know it is impossible but it seems to have been a subject of interest in fiction and in life for ages.
Do we really want to change our pasts or is it like dreaming of winning the lottery? The impossible dream that we don't have to deal with, it can just be a fantasy?
I think part of the appeal is having the chance to do things better, with less hurt to those around you, it's certainly one part that draws me when thinking about my life.
For time travel further back, I think it would be amazing to be able to dip in & out of history to soak up the true atmosphere & learn how big events really turned out, as the saying goes, history is written by the victors (but what really happened??)
As for dinosaurs, do I really need to explain? :laugh:
Quote from: Jayne on October 20, 2012, 01:45:22 AM
I think part of the appeal is having the chance to do things better, with less hurt to those around you, it's certainly one part that draws me when thinking about my life.
For time travel further back, I think it would be amazing to be able to dip in & out of history to soak up the true atmosphere & learn how big events really turned out, as the saying goes, history is written by the victors (but what really happened??)
As for dinosaurs, do I really need to explain? :laugh:
There was a short story I read eons (sorry :laugh:) ago about dinosaurs. A guy goes back to watch them and doesn't realise that very large creatures can have very large parasites, and he gets jumped on by dinosaur 'fleas' - I won't go into the rest ::)
Quote from: Cindy James on October 20, 2012, 01:56:27 AM
There was a short story I read eons (sorry :laugh:) ago about dinosaurs. A guy goes back to watch them and doesn't realise that very large creatures can have very large parasites, and he gets jumped on by dinosaur 'fleas' - I won't go into the rest ::)
One of the best time travel/dinosaur short stories i've read involved a time traveller sitting in a bar explaining why dinosaurs really became extinct. Y'see, the little dino's were really very smart & made guns, they used these guns to hunt the big dino's until there were no more big dino's left, the listeners scoff "why haven't we found proof?" the man replies "the guns were small & rusted to nothing whilst the bones turned to stone"
You never know, it may be true ??? :o
Quote from: Padma on October 19, 2012, 04:14:58 AM
If I could travel back in time, first I'd go further back to prevent the things happening that made it impossible for me to transition earlier - then I'd transition earlier. I didn't transition earlier because it wasn't safe to. I'd go back and make it safe to. Priorities :).
WHAT SHE SAID!
And regarding the whole paradox business: Nah, if you can time travel, ipso facto the paradox problem isn't a problem, therefore time is stranded like a tapestry and the many futures many pasts applies.
That said, how do you know I didn't transition now precisely because I read a thread like this 30 years from now and decided yep, I'm going to go plug in the ol' time machine and do it. There are other alternative futures where I don't transition until much later or ever, just like I know that in most alternate time lines I died a long time ago. This turned out to be the best one I could figure out so far. Hold it, there's someone knocking at the door.
Oh, that was a gal who said she was me from the future. She gave me a time machine. I didn't tell her I already have one.
Quote from: MadelineB on October 20, 2012, 02:04:46 AM
WHAT SHE SAID!
And regarding the whole paradox business: Nah, if you can time travel, ipso facto the paradox problem isn't a problem, therefore time is stranded like a tapestry and the many futures many pasts applies.
That said, how do you know I didn't transition now precisely because I read a thread like this 30 years from now and decided yep, I'm going to go plug in the ol' time machine and do it. There are other alternative futures where I don't transition until much later or ever, just like I know that in most alternate time lines I died a long time ago. This turned out to be the best one I could figure out so far. Hold it, there's someone knocking at the door.
Oh, that was a gal who said she was me from the future. She gave me a time machine. I didn't tell her I already have one.
Who was her Dr ?
Well we used to play a more elaborate version of time machine in the history dept. grad student offices. I'll give you my top 3 destinations, and that pretty much explains how I see it. It's never about changing anything, it's about being able to experience what I missed more than anything else.
1. New York City - Greenwich Village, late 1950s-early 1960s. >> To be able to hang out in the small clubs and hear Miles, 'Trane and the rest of them play, and maybe a young Robert Zimmerman too. Perhaps the greatest collection of sheer musical talent to be pretty much all at the same place at the same time.
2. Yasgur's Farm, Bethal New York, August 15 to August 18, 1969 - because I'm a hippie that's why.
3. Rome, 64 B.C.E. to about 100 C.E. The reign of Augustus and beyond. Pretty much the height of the Empire, and I'd love to see what they really did in the Colosseum - there were never any shows produced like that before, and certainly not since.
Tekla, I agree with number 3, that would be an amazing period to visit.
i would love to see King Arthurs time to see what is myth & what is true, i'd also be afraid that i'd be spoiling the myth somehow.
Whilst i'm thinking along these lines i'd definately pay Davinci a visit, what a mind that man had!
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Quote from: Padma on October 21, 2012, 04:31:32 AM
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Love it.
Time Travel? I'd go back and grab my 12 yo self by the ears and shake her till she saw sense.. And fill her in on a few people to befriend and a few to avoid..
Quantum foam, help me roam, to the time I belong..
Oooohhh I'd think about it for what, 0.00006 of a nanosecond? Then I'd do it.
Quote from: JJ on October 22, 2012, 09:47:27 AM
Oooohhh I'd think about it for what, 0.00006 of a nanosecond? Then I'd do it.
That'd be 6 yoctoseconds, then 8). Why wait?
Or 6 x 10^12 jiffies. (Jiffy = 1/100 seconds) :P
For one brief, glorious moment in the 80's, there was a brand of condoms in the UK called Jiffies. Their advertising camapaign? "Real men come in a Jiffy." ;D.
I think we just went way off topic, but I like it. :laugh:
Well, it's a leap back into history :). But yes, meanwhile, back in personal time travel...
I would. Currently in my teens, but it would be a dream to be able to do the transition now to be able to live my teenage years as the gender I identify myself as.
Oh I would do it. I think I'd have a lot more "practice" per se, in being raised as a male. Theres so many girly manneurisms i wish i never picked up, so many embarassing moments that could've been prevented if I was male sooner.
I think thats why i act like such a child, because i never had that proper male childhood!
Quote from: wrabbit on October 22, 2012, 08:02:37 PM
I think thats why i act like such a child, because i never had that proper male childhood!
That sounds familiar, swap the word male for female in that sentence & you've got me in a nutshell. For most of my so called adult life i've surrounded myself with toys, I couldn't have girly toys as that would have given the game away, I had so many Transformers, Zoids, Star Wars & action figures that I had to keep most in boxes.
I think i'd be satisfied if I could go back & have one perfect day of being a little girl, i'd spend the day playing house with my dolls & i'd have my friends round for a teddy bear picnic (I had loads of teddy bears & cried all day when my parents got rid of them).
Maybe the memory of one perfect day such as that would ease the regret about what could never be?
Maybe that memory would then tease & torment me?
So far no one has gone back to be filthy rich by knowing lottery numbers!!
Someone mentioned that already :).
Quote from: Cindy James on October 23, 2012, 02:25:59 AM
So far no one has gone back to be filthy rich by knowing lottery numbers!!
I would not want to be "filthy rich". I believe having that much money changes people, usually not for the better.
I'd love to win the lottery, i've told a few close friends that if I won the lottery i'd either buy them a house or pay off their mortgage.
I would also start a retreat for anyone with gender issues, the best way to be happy in life is to help others & with lottery money you could help alot of people.
Diary of a Mad Timetraveler, Day -13241:
I grow increasingly frustrated by my discoveries. Have tried every permutation of using published results of random or near random events and am growing old trying to make a single score.
I found the paradox today. What an idiot I have been. Let's just talk lottery. I assumed that the published result of a winning number meant that I could go back and select that, and the result would be when I got back to my own time that I would have shared the win with the person who was published as the winnner. That's where I went wrong. I am an idiot! For the published numbers to be of any use, the results of random events must be fixed on a given timeline and I must be bound to that line. But if that is the case, then so must be the winner; the number and the winner are both descriptors of the winning event. If I have the power to change one, then the other is also subject to change. What I find instead, is whether or not I enter the lottery with my "future knowledge", just my reentry into the time stream at an earlier point, resets my connection to all future points. Random events and chance occurences roll out again, all with different outcomes, and I ride the same ragged blade of chance into my indeterminate future, skipping the number of years on my dial, but never able to escape the burden of chance. Not only do the lotto winners change, but everything else does.
I am a loser for attempting to cheat, for every time that I go back and return, my life has been worse that the first time. For in the strand that my luck and genius were sufficient to put me in possession of a working time device and the talent to operate it, I had been the recipient of a most unlikely stream of good fortune which I mistook for my own prowess and just dessert. I am damned, I am damned, I cannot get them back, one or two but never them all, I cannot get them back, the strand is lost.
I know how to make any amount of money now, not by events subject to randomness, but by determined events that the majority did not predict. BUT WHY DID I NOT REALIZE THAT I WAS THE MOST UNLIKELY OF RESULTS? WHY DID I NOT REALIZE THAT DISTRIBUTIONS RETURN TO THE MEAN? I MISS MY OUTLIERS, I MISS YOU SO MUCH.
-MadelineB, leap 952.
I have pondered the question that if I go back once then i'd end up going back a million times.
With the power to go back & fix mistakes the temptation & power wouod be too great, just thin about it for a second.
I travel back & somehow convince my parents to let me go on medication to prevent puberty until I can start HRT, I transition & all is good, until...
Let's say there's an earthquake, i've been so preoccupied with transitioning I forgot that thousands died & with my future knowledge I could have stopped that, so I re-build the time machine & go back.
This time a plane crashes but I can't live with the knowledge so I travel back once more.
On this journey I warn people about the earthquake & the plane crash but a little child is killed crossing the road, the flowers & tributes haunt me as I pass them each day so back I go again.
This time I argue with my mum & we don't speak for a long time & the guilt makes me go back.
How long would it be before I spill a coffee on my favourite top & travel back?
Quote from: Brooke777 on October 23, 2012, 08:39:20 AM
I would not want to be "filthy rich". I believe having that much money changes people, usually not for the better.
I would love to be "filthy rich". I could go all kinds of places and I could help people. Having money doesn't really change people in my opinion. If someone is a selfish jerk the money would just bring that out in them.
Quote from: MadelineB on October 23, 2012, 10:12:02 AM
Diary of a Mad Timetraveler, Day -13241:
I grow increasingly frustrated by my discoveries. Have tried every permutation of using published results of random or near random events and am growing old trying to make a single score.
I found the paradox today. What an idiot I have been. Let's just talk lottery. I assumed that the published result of a winning number meant that I could go back and select that, and the result would be when I got back to my own time that I would have shared the win with the person who was published as the winnner. That's where I went wrong. I am an idiot! For the published numbers to be of any use, the results of random events must be fixed on a given timeline and I must be bound to that line. But if that is the case, then so must be the winner; the number and the winner are both descriptors of the winning event. If I have the power to change one, then the other is also subject to change. What I find instead, is whether or not I enter the lottery with my "future knowledge", just my reentry into the time stream at an earlier point, resets my connection to all future points. Random events and chance occurences roll out again, all with different outcomes, and I ride the same ragged blade of chance into my indeterminate future, skipping the number of years on my dial, but never able to escape the burden of chance. Not only do the lotto winners change, but everything else does.
I am a loser for attempting to cheat, for every time that I go back and return, my life has been worse that the first time. For in the strand that my luck and genius were sufficient to put me in possession of a working time device and the talent to operate it, I had been the recipient of a most unlikely stream of good fortune which I mistook for my own prowess and just dessert. I am damned, I am damned, I cannot get them back, one or two but never them all, I cannot get them back, the strand is lost.
I know how to make any amount of money now, not by events subject to randomness, but by determined events that the majority did not predict. BUT WHY DID I NOT REALIZE THAT I WAS THE MOST UNLIKELY OF RESULTS? WHY DID I NOT REALIZE THAT DISTRIBUTIONS RETURN TO THE MEAN? I MISS MY OUTLIERS, I MISS YOU SO MUCH.
-MadelineB, leap 952.
Oh No someone is bringing common sense to my fanatsy :'( :'(
I'm divided. On one hand, pretty much nothing in my life was worth living that much. Actually, most of my memories are of regret. On the other hand, I met the love of my life recently, and precisely because I'm trans. I met her on Susans, so.
The most logical answer is yes, because then I wouldn't know what I'd miss, and there's a chance I would have found love anyway. But my heart says no, because I would never for a second want to miss the one happiest thing that could happen to me.
In the end, despite the many, many bad things that having been male longer brought me, I say no, because on any scale, my girlfriend will always weigh more than the mountains in comparison.
(Morally, eh; not physically. She's the only one who thinks she's fat.)