For myself I love being a woman as complete as possible. It just feels so normal & natural.
However I've always felt more complete when a man is in my life. A man that asks me out on a date. A man that brings flowers. A man that desires me & a man that I can hold & satisfy.
It just feels so normal to be with a real man & I wonder how you other girlfriends feel about men & dating & maybe a good sexual relationship with a man?
It depends if one is straight or not I think. :) I am bi and don't feel complete only if a man is about; however, having someone around who does love me is important.
Let me try & clarify. I'm a MTF TS pre op. I've always loved to be with a strong hetrosexual man. A man that only wants to deliver him self into a woman.
I just wonder how many other MTF TS pre op or post op also strongly desire a hetrosexual type man in their lives?
My desire is to become a post op woman & just have a normal male/female sexual relationship.
I'm bi-sexual~
But in most cases I'll probably lean towards womens.
I'm actually interested in trying to date a MTF like myself, probably pre/non-op.
It seems like it'd work out.
I feel the same way FrancisAnn, I just want to be with a fairly typical male and it's often been the trigger for my dysphoria and still is.. I just want that traditional relationship, marriage, kids, all that stuff.
I don't think it's really all that sexual either, like I am very attracted to men but the desire to be in a relationship with a man is a social and emotional need and for me, very strongly linked to my gender identity since it's something I've wanted for so long.
Aleah, I'm so glad you feel the same way. I'm proud to need to become a 100% woman with hopefully a sufficient depth vagina to enjoy a real man. I've always enjoyed a man inside my body. It just feels great to me & always has.
It would have been so great a gift to have been born a natural woman. To have a child inside & to deliver & nuture the child to help it grow. To be a mother. How great that would have been!!!!
I hope we sisters can become friends, maybe good friends in our search for life & happieness.
Your sister with much love,
Francis
I have a man in my life, and it really isn't what you think it may be; every rose has its thorn, unless it's artificially shorn. ;D
Anyways, I love my man, but all relationships aren't perfect. Just enjoy life, have fun, date away, and there will always be men out there for the rest of us straight chicks! ^-^
Sita, you are a lucky girl, please have a great day. I wish I had been born a "straight chick".
Men. I know, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Good luck with your man.
I know I do. When I'm not with my man I feel so alone. He's like the most important thing in my life. The best way to put it is Edward and Bella,
I feel empty without a partner. My pending divorce is really doing a number on my peace of mind.
I'd like to date, but it's early in my transition. I'm not really sure which gender I'm going to want to date.
Quote from: Tristan on April 08, 2013, 07:55:57 AM
I know I do. When I'm not with my man I feel so alone. He's like the most important thing in my life. The best way to put it is Edward and Bella,
But their relationship is so unhealthy... :-\
And I don't feel the slightest bit empty without a man - in fact, I'd feel much emptier if I
did.
That would be nice to have a proper boyfriend but I'm 55 and I've left it too late
While at times it would be nice, I don't really need one nor do I strongly desire one in my life. I've always leaned heavily to asexual and I've gone years upon years without dating, kissing or any of that silly stuff.
It's not that I feel empty without someone in my life (I could go either way: man or woman), it's that I feel having someone in my life would compliment it, or complete it (as mushy as that sounds lol). And there is of course sex, which I love. I consider myself a sexual being. So there's that. And I just like making out with people. But I haven't been with anyone in like two years :-(
I think I 'd like the companionship more than the sex life,
I am single and have no prospects on a mate. I am living life as best I can. Am I empty without a man in my life? No. While it would be nice to have a man, it is not something that is necessity to complete my life.
Empty, no. Lonely - hell yes.
Quote from: newgrrrl on April 08, 2013, 04:46:30 PM
Empty, no. Lonely - hell yes.
Second that.
I've rather sworn off intimacy with people until I know what's right, but I still get lonely so much. :(
Cassandra I make due with who I have. I don't understand why it's un healthy?
I've been feeling rather empty, lonely and depressed lately but I don't know if it has much if anything to do with having a man or not :-\ It would be nice to meet someone special who made my feel loved though
Quote from: V M on April 08, 2013, 05:04:54 PM
I've been feeling rather empty, lonely and depressed lately but I don't know if it has much if anything to do with having a man or not :-\ It would be nice to meet someone special who made my feel loved though
I'm sure you will meet someone rather it be a super close friend or a lover. It really does help with self esteem when you have someone to chill with and spend alot if fun times
Quote from: Tristan on April 08, 2013, 04:58:05 PM
Cassandra I make due with who I have. I don't understand why it's un healthy?
You mean 'Edward and Bella' as in the characters from Twilight, yes? If not, then ignore me lol.
Personally I don't really feel empty, lonely, or incomplete without a significant. Well, on occasion I will feel lonely when out with good friends and they are with their significants. It doesn't really get me down much. I just get myself some roses from time to time. That is not to say that I wouldn't mind having a certain someone in my life.
Suggesting that we'd need a man to feel whole is just wrong the title of the thread should've been " Do you feel empty without a partner in your life"
In any case I wouldn't be able to answer anyways because I haven't been single since kindergarten. I think if I combine the time I've been single in my life it doesn't even add up to 6 months in all >.< which is not entirely a good thing. I'm extremely faithful and monogamous though but I only dated women.
Truthfully, a little. Due to the fact that I am still pre- everything, I never got a chance to meet or date guys. I have had women interested in me, but it's not the same and I rarely desired to pursue a relationship one. So, I think never having a true relationship has caused some emptiness in my life which I would like to fill. I am still young and hope to transition soon, so maybe one day I will meet a guy who could accept me; however, I need to work on accepting the distinct possibility that I never will meet anyone in the event that I don't.
No. Can't stand men to begin with. And if I can't save my current relationship I doubt I will want to have another with anyone.
I'm a lesbian, so no, I don't feel empty without a man in my life..
And I didn't feel empty without a woman in my life either. I was lonely though. Thankfully I've got a wonderful woman in my life now - so no more loneliness for me, for now at least.
Originally I thought that might be the case, but it wasn't long before I realised I was still attracted to women only. Not empty without a woman in my life, but life is better with a fiancée.
Oh, yes, yes, so empty I can cry!
Just the thought of being without a man gives me the "willies" the "iffy jibes"
I mean;
How could I live without their tender and long foreplay?
How could I live without their kind and undivided attention to what I said?
How could I live without their smelly underpants and socks?
How could I live without their constant efforts to show me how competent they are?
How could I live without their ignoring and dismissing my opinion?
How could I live without their constant put down?
I mean without they telling me that I am beautiful, and strong, and sexy, and smart...I would die, it is like without them I am nothing
Oh boo hooo...give me a man or give me death!
Quote from: peky on April 09, 2013, 07:01:34 AM
Oh, yes, yes, so empty I can cry!
Just the thought of being without a man gives me the "willies" the "iffy jibes"
I mean;
How could I live without their tender and long foreplay?
How could I live without their kind and undivided attention to what I said?
How could I live without their smelly underpants and socks?
How could I live without their constant efforts to show me how competent they are?
How could I live without their ignoring and dismissing my opinion?
How could I live without their constant put down?
I mean without they telling me that I am beautiful, and strong, and sexy, and smart...I would die, it is like without them I am nothing
Oh boo hooo...give me a man or give me death!
OMG!!! get outta my head.. LOL Peky RoCkS!!
I do feel useless if I don't do something with/for someone I care about. A lover I have deep feelings for and who reciprocates those feelings is better, but friends have the same effect, although it's less intense.
I guess it depends on how dependent your personality is, and how much self-esteem you have. Someone with a dependent personality has a strong desire to feel the security of depending of someone. Someone with low self-esteem might have a similar behaviour, too. Either because they're insecure and seek the approval of someone, either because they want to feel in control of that person to boost their ego. And of course, the need for affection, which varies a lot.
I'm like that, personally, in three ways. Everything in my life is okay when I can rely on someone. Alone I'm a mess. The only part of my life when I was really happy and hopeful for the future was when I had a girlfriend. I feel an overwhelming desire to have someone I need, and someone who needs me.
Just one last thing. From the group therapy I was at, I learned about the feeling of "internal emptiness". To feel empty inside. They asked people if/how much they felt it, and since I didn't understand what it meant at all, I asked. They said it's normal not to understand; that people who have that feeling understand and know it. Apparently, this is a psychological symptom that's really bad. I completely forgot even the biggest details, but if you really feel empty inside, I think it would be wise to consult.
Quote from: peky on April 09, 2013, 07:01:34 AM
I mean;
How could I live without their tender and long foreplay?
How could I live without their kind and undivided attention to what I said?
How could I live without their smelly underpants and socks?
How could I live without their constant efforts to show me how competent they are?
How could I live without their ignoring and dismissing my opinion?
How could I live without their constant put down?
That's a bit sexist :P
But the part about smelly garments is generally true lol.
No. I like not having any in my life :). They think with their tool downstairs.
Also they smell, you cant talk to them, most of them are immature and.. Well that is my own opinion and not the absolute truth.
I still have my wife, if we break up I will try to stay single for a while and then hopefully find a girl that I can settle down with.
No... there are men in my life who are dear to me, just not in my bed, thanks ;)
The question should be the same for any woman... would you ask a committed Lesbian if she felt empty without a man? That'd be asking for a black eye, lol ;) !!
The central focus for me now is my wife, who has been in a state of grieving since i came out to her, in a couple's therapy session, this past Monday. She's the one who's empty now, and no amount of intellectual reassurance that 'anything a man can do a woman can do better', will help. I have to prove that i can be better. Do, not say. Time will tell how this plays out, it may not.
No intent to upset any one.
I'm alone & happy with myself however my most enjoyable times was when I dating & found some nice masculine type men to be with. I enjoy being as feminime as possible full time & am hopeful for an SRS one day to live a normal life as a normal woman. Hopefully then I can find a normal hetrosexual type man to share my new life.
Well, as Karla says - no black eye threatened, but I'm primarily interested in women, so no. :) There's an occasional guy it seems like it'd be fun to have a fling with... but my life doesn't *need* one to feel "full."
(Of course, I've also been married for 13 years, so it's probably not fair for me to even answer this question!)
Quote from: FrancisAnn on April 08, 2013, 01:50:48 AM
For myself I love being a woman as complete as possible. It just feels so normal & natural.
However I've always felt more complete when a man is in my life. A man that asks me out on a date. A man that brings flowers. A man that desires me & a man that I can hold & satisfy.
It just feels so normal to be with a real man & I wonder how you other girlfriends feel about men & dating & maybe a good sexual relationship with a man?
No I love not having to worry about anyone else. There is times when I feel like you then I remind myself that for the last 25 years I pretended to be this guy and now I'm finally getting to be me. I want to experience life for a few years heck maybe a decade; explore and do things on my own. I truly believe that you have to love yourself completely before you love anyone else.
Quote from: Serena Lynn on April 20, 2013, 08:56:07 PM
No I love not having to worry about anyone else. There is times when I feel like you then I remind myself that for the last 25 years I pretended to be this guy and now I'm finally getting to be me. I want to experience life for a few years heck maybe a decade; explore and do things on my own. I truly believe that you have to love yourself completely before you love anyone else.
Serena, Good for you. You look so great & happy. Thanks for your post & advise.
Quote from: Aleah on April 08, 2013, 03:55:39 AM
I feel the same way FrancisAnn, I just want to be with a fairly typical male and it's often been the trigger for my dysphoria and still is.. I just want that traditional relationship, marriage, kids, all that stuff.
I don't think it's really all that sexual either, like I am very attracted to men but the desire to be in a relationship with a man is a social and emotional need and for me, very strongly linked to my gender identity since it's something I've wanted for so long.
This really sums it up for me too. And to answer the question the thread title asks personally: I realize now that being single was an emptiness. Sometimes I felt the emptiness, but sometimes I didn't. I had been single for basically my entire life. And I got to the point where I suppose it was comfortable being alone. But I've recently become involved with a man and I don't ever want to lose how it makes me feel being with him. If he weren't in my life I would most certainly feel empty.
But, each person is different. There are people who are perfectly fine without having a man or a woman partner.
I like them, I like men but my life isn't empty without them. Can't be. I have many things I care or love. Otherwise, I would be obsessed with men, addicted to them. No thanks, I don't want that. :police:
Just to clarify, being with a man isn't what makes me whole or complete. I am a complete and whole person without a boyfriend. I know that the story "Twilight" was mentioned earlier in the thread, and I personally dislike that story because the main character, Bella, is written as a female who is incapable of having an identity unless she is with a man. I don't think that's a healthy message to be sending young women. You don't have to have a man in order to be happy.
I just know that being in love is a wonderful new feeling for me. I wasn't missing any part of myself without love, I just feel happier with my man. I feel so amazing because I have a companion to experience life with. And I know it won't all be perfect and that there will be rough patches, but there is always bad with the good and good with the bad. Nothing is purely black or white.
It's important to remember that what feels good and makes me happy doesn't translate to anyone else. I personally love waking up with his arms around me. I love seeing him smile and holding hands and cuddling. I know that I would be a whole complete person without him, but an emptiness would be in my heart if he wasn't here.
The feelings and emotions he has lit inside of me are worth holding onto.
And even though I don't require sex in a relationship, me and him do have a very strong sexual connection. And it's a very strong way to express our love to one another.
I'm young and I'm in love, I think this is all how it's supposed to feel. And he's a stallion in bed! I won't lie!! I'm new to all of this though! I've read about it in countless romance novels and I've finally got to experience a man! Oh and he's taller and so masculine! I get all weak in the knees when he has his shirt off lol I <3 him!
Anyways, I'm known to ramble on forever. Forgive me! just do what makes you happy!
Brenda, you seem one happy & lucky girl. Thanks for sharing your heart warming story of love for your man.
I totally agree. I feel the happiest when im waking up in the strong, warm and comforting arms of a guy, even more so if he is a chocolaty black guy. But the problem i run into all the time is either the guys I meet either want a guy, or want someone who is post op, or close to there surgery day. I have always wanted the typical man/woman relationship...I even strive for the day i plan a Halloween theme wedding. Oi how i miss that feeling, and truly do feel empty and alone when im not with a guy, but hopefully one day, ill find someone.
Im a Heterosexual Female trans.... I Crave being in a relationship... But I learned to control it and have been able to focus and spend time on myself. Honestly in the back of my mind I always still wish i was in a good relationship, But I am no longer looking.
I know it may not be the most healthy but the twilight lifestyle works ok for me. It's nice to have someone to complete me and love me and be hear for me. It's a new concept :(
Girl friends this is a little embrassing however when dating heavy several years ago I found that married men were nice. For one I knew they were hetrosexual & hopefully healthly. I had no interest whatsoever in any homosexual relationship or in that type man.
With a married man I could relax, maybe cook a nice dinner, just be myself & when he wanted sex I was there as he needed. I loved to make my man happy & to satisy him completely. Since I've always just wanted to be a post op normal woman this type relationship was good for me.
I talked with the man some about his problems with his wife & maybe helped him & her. I always told the man that I would never come between him & his wife. Our relationship was strickly casual sex.
I almost became a prostitute in those days. In hind siight I wish I had! It would have been easy, the men I dated had plenty of $ & offered to pay me several times to help out. I should have taken the opportunity & moved forward, quit my "male" day job, continued my HRT, saved my $ & completed SRS long ago.
Sometimes I felt cheap to just be used for sex. Most of the time my date would bring wine & or some flowers.
Anyway part of my life story with men. I was lonely & needed a safe man to be with, it was great fun really.
Francis
Quote from: Tristan on April 21, 2013, 08:30:20 PM
I know it may not be the most healthy but the twilight lifestyle works ok for me. It's nice to have someone to complete me and love me and be hear for me. It's a new concept :(
Twilight Lifestyle??
Yeah. I'm a little dependent on my fella. I would do anything for him. That's all I mean by the lifestyle
Kathryn,
I tried to imagine myself with a normal life. A normal date with a man in the early evenings. Just a normal dinner time date, with candles & a nice setting for dinner. I love to cook & decorate.
Late night/middle of the mornings were never my style.
Quote from: Tristan on April 22, 2013, 12:10:38 PM
Yeah. I'm a little dependent on my fella. I would do anything for him. That's all I mean by the lifestyle
No, I mean what is the "Twilight Lifestyle"?
I have never heard of it... I tried to google it but all that came up was stuff about the book/movie "Twilight"
And unless your Dating a vampire for the lifestyle... then I am not sure What it is XD
I mentioned in my post earlier than I wasn't very fond of Twilight because of how it depicts the main character as having absolutely zero identity or purpose unless she is with a man. Now, if that's what you want out of life I support you 100%
I judge nobody.
Having a man is the most wonderful thing ever but I'm still a person without him. I have my own interests and friends and I have my own life too. That was the only point I was making.
Men, they all just want one thing. It is so hard to find a man that cares about anything else but sex. Why do they not care much about our needs & desires. I need a new man however I want a prince not just some frog. It's sure not easy so far but I'm kissing some frogs to maybe find my prince.
Tell me am I normal....
When a man is making slow deliberate love to me
I get a sensation I am closer with God...
That I am doing what is as intended....
After I am so so so relaxed ......nothing matters as long as he
Holds me to sleep after...
Money news material things family nothing matters at that point