The term "->-bleeped-<-", "Trannie", or "transvestite" really gets under my skin. I blew up on a guy on a dating site this morning for referring to me as a trannie. Just seeing if its just me.
Depends. If it's said in ignorance, I see it as an opportunity to educate someone.
If it's said with derision, oh yeah, it bothers me!
It can be degrading depending on who's saying it. I have a friend that transitioned totally in 1968 and she refers to us all as ->-bleeped-<-s. So I guess you'd have to consider the source to know if it's intended as an insult. Personally I don't care for it, she also refers to herself and me as "old broads" which I loathe, but then she cracks a big smile knowing she is getting under my skin.
i dont like that word myself. and if a guy calls me that i will be nice and finish the date but no kiss and no more dates with them
I hate the term ->-bleeped-<-! I find it very derogatory, and think of the girls who appear on shows like Jerry Springer when I hear it.
Transvestite doesn't fit me, nor does it bother me.
Quote from: Serena Lynn on April 14, 2013, 01:16:49 PM
The term "->-bleeped-<-", "Trannie", or "transvestite" really gets under my skin. I blew up on a guy on a dating site this morning for referring to me as a trannie. Just seeing if its just me.
Nope, not just you. I don't find it as offensive as some other vulgarities, like the N-word or the C-word, but it can be used to hurt, so it is one of the words I don't use.
Depends on the context but generally yes. It seems to mostly be used in a derogatory way. I've been called a ->-bleeped-<- or a "->-bleeped-<- freak" a number of times and it really hurts.
If it was directed towards me... yes. The person saying it better duck... fast. If it was something I read in print, online, or say in a newspaper... I tend to be more forgiving. But in your case, a blunt jabbing blow to the offender's trachea is in order.
;D
Quote from: Jamie the Disco Snark on April 14, 2013, 01:58:41 PM
Nope, not just you. I don't find it as offensive as some other vulgarities, like the N-word or the C-word, but it can be used to hurt, so it is one of the words I don't use.
Not to digress too much, but my wife uses the C-word on other women who are being obnoxious, :o ::) I think it's a riot because she's normally such a lady.
As with any word, it's the context in which it was used.
Context is everything.
So what are we working on cars, gotta pull a ->-bleeped-<- and replace a clutch?
Quote from: lydia_s on April 14, 2013, 02:23:29 PM
Depends on the context but generally yes. It seems to mostly be used in a derogatory way. .
I agree, people who use the word ->-bleeped-<-/trannie are either using it in a derogetory way or just dont care (pigs), for the ignorant of those using those terms they usually are willing to learn and are apologetic. so.... not a biggy there, also other people who use the term is drag-queens and they sometimes border on the edge using the word(I have had a bad experience)
as fare as the word transvestite go's maybe I am ignorant but to my understanding a transvestite is a person who get's off or some sort of sexual gratification by wearing womens clothing ... So again someone is using the word ignorantly or they dont care, and when they dont care its offensive.
Quote from: Tristan on April 14, 2013, 01:53:16 PM
i dont like that word myself. and if a guy calls me that i will be nice and finish the date but no kiss and no more dates with them
You are braver than I dear, I wouldn't even let them know that I am transgendered. That info is for way down the road IMO
I wish I could say "no it doesn't bother me I don't care what some dick thinks" but the truth is I do care...too much. And yes if someone called me a ->-bleeped-<- it would bother me. A LOT. I prepared myself for a slew of insults and slings and arrows of just this kind of thing but the strange thing is it hasn't happened and people seem to be a lot nicer and kinder to me all in all.
Quote from: suzifrommd on April 14, 2013, 01:27:20 PM
Depends. If it's said in ignorance, I see it as an opportunity to educate someone.
I agree. Most people, even in this PC world we live in today, haven't a clue. Nor do they have any concept that there actually is a difference between a drag queen and a transsexual. When we are such a fractional part of the general population I cannot expect the world to change just for me. However, I can do my best to educate and hopefully get one other small tiny sub-fractional part of it to change, which may just blossom someday into forrest.
Quote from: suzifrommd on April 14, 2013, 01:27:20 PM
If it's said with derision, oh yeah, it bothers me!
There isn't much you can do with a hater besides getting a bloody nose or worse :(
It bothers me. I want to be a woman, not a t****y, and I don't want anybody to say otherwise.
Quote from: Anna Michele on April 14, 2013, 03:20:38 PM
It bothers me. I want to be a woman, not a t****y, and I don't want anybody to say otherwise.
^^ This
Hardly. It didn't bother me at all until I heard people on here saying that it was bad.
If it's a cis person saying it, yes, it bothers me a lot.
A trans person saying it, however, usually doesn't.
->-bleeped-<-? Usually not. Like many others, it depends on context. If I know you're okay with me (or transsexuality) and are just using it as a general slang word, I won't take offense. Otherwise it's either time to be like "You know that's offensive to some right?" It's kinda hard to explain. I'm a female in personality and everything else under the sun and I know I project that without effort so I'm confident enough to not let stuff like that bother me if people are just being playful or joking with me about being trans.
I don't like the term transvestite being used to describe us. I've come across a couple people that used the word like that and had NO idea I was trans... it made me pretty frustrated but I think that it's usually just ignorance and not blatant hate.
Me and my roommates toss around the word all the time... I don't mind it at all. We all know we're cool with each others gender identity and at least we aren't all walking on eggshells around each other.
To be honest it doesn't bother me all that much. Most of the population has little knowledge about the transgender world and I believe many are using the word ->-bleeped-<- out of ignorance so I don't tend to let it get under my skin.
->-bleeped-<- is awful unless used in context with a car, I mean seriously think about it, Transexual doesnt bother me, but even more offending is the terms "->-bleeped-<-" and "Chick with a Dick" ...reason I stoped talking to my coworkers.
Quote from: Madison_dawn on April 14, 2013, 05:41:22 PM... more offending is the terms "->-bleeped-<-" and "Chick with a Dick" ...reason I stoped talking to my coworkers.
I agree with this part of your statement. "->-bleeped-<-" to me is just seems like a shortening of transgender or transsexual. If we're going to use words like "transgender" and "transsexual" people are going to shorten it to something, that's just how people are. People don't say "homosexual" very often, too many syllables... they say "gay" instead. Unless we come up with a short term of our own it just seems like it really does come down to context. Someone could call me "->-bleeped-<-" or "transsexual" or "gay" in a mean or dehumanizing way and I'd get offended, even though I technically am on all three counts.
At any rate, ->-bleeped-<- is far less offensive than the two above, and I can think of a few other terms that outclass "->-bleeped-<-" in offensiveness.
Personally I don't care for the term, but as mentioned it somewhat depends on who is using the term and the context in which it is being used
As others say, context is key. On a dating site, someone referring to you as ->-bleeped-<- is going to be at best, ignorant and ill-equipped to deal with some of the issues relevant to any relationship which may develop. More likely someone using it shows a lack of sensitivity, outward transphobia or possibly worse, fetishization. Amongst peers, well, I guess the threat level reduces but I still won't use it even though others may appropriate it (like ->-bleeped-<-girl115 on Youtube for example.)
If it carries offence to others I'm not inclined to use it.
I'm not fond of it but it's not a claws out MerrrRRROOOWW HisssssSSSSS!! thing to me.... :-\ It is more about the context that it's used in, which seems to be what most here state, as well as the person saying it. I personaly won't use it or 'Trans' even and prefer to shorten things to 'TG', 'TS', ect. I take it as a red flag for ignorance mostly unless its a bunch of us out and joking around where its kinda meant as a face palm or D'oh for something someone did or said but I could count the number of times I've heard it used on one hand still with fingers to spare. Which comes back full circle to context and who is using it. There are far worse words used as was mentioned by a couple people.
It doesn't bother me. We were walking along gay area in Chicago (Roscoe Ave) and I heard a gay man on the street talked about us using the word. It sounds kinda endearing in a funny way :D
Yes. Especially when combined with K*ke. As for the C word, the first thing my brother said to me after congratulating me on my surgery was that I was a total effing c**t. Then we both laughed.
But ->-bleeped-<- is a pejorative, plain and simple. As bad as any other hate word meant to dehumanize a specific group of people. We can attempt to own it as every Othered group owns their hate words, but others should be discouraged.
N.J.
Think this is one of those things where it depends on the person. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer. Like if I'm joking around with my girlfriends i'll drop the T word but anywhere else its like calling me a F*g, Fa**ot, or using the N word. I prefer to be called a woman i guess any other term is insulting to me.
The context of how it is used is very important! I dont like to be addressed as a ->-bleeped-<- or transvestite myself, but my transgirlfriends and I have used "->-bleeped-<-" while joking around with each other. I usually try to educate people on it and explain it is a derogatory term though.
Quote from: luna on April 14, 2013, 06:34:45 PM
I agree with this part of your statement. "->-bleeped-<-" to me is just seems like a shortening of transgender or transsexual. If we're going to use words like "transgender" and "transsexual" people are going to shorten it to something
I prefer it shortened to just "Trans"
Like a lot of others have said, to me it all depends on context. If someone is a good friend of mine then I don't mind it if it's just said in a joking way.. If someone I didn't know well called me a ->-bleeped-<- though It probably would bother me..
Hate it, whatever the context. Just hate it. >:(
I can take the word ->-bleeped-<- coming from a mouth of another TS and sometimes we do joke about it, which I think from an outside can seem pretty strange, but I feel that it is quite healthy to laugh at yourself, no matter that being a TS is far from a laughable issue. Still, laughing with other TS, is kind of therapeutic for me.
But I can't take the word ->-bleeped-<- coming out from a mouth of anybody else. That just feels extremely bad. Trans, t, ts or just a woman please, are ok to me.
At least "->-bleeped-<-" is better than "->-bleeped-<-"...
I don't approve of labelling people... at all. It is just wrong. Our culture starts labelling children when they are very small, turning behaviour into a name and sticking the child with the label. It never stops as the child grows up.
Bottom line, i respect anya's wishes, even if someday (hope i live to see it)
->-bleeped-<- becomes a pride word.
There's an element of eroticising us that i have not gotten my mind around yet. Too busy for that analysis yet. As Sammy said, there are worse words, like '->-bleeped-<-'. That one makes my skin crawl.
Yesterday i took a long bubble bath that i had earned after a couple of hours chopping & hauling wood, then cleaning the kitchen. Brought a book with me, it was delicious. My wife's snide comment later was
'looks like you just can't do without your daily dressing up'. In other words, she's decided i'm a transvestite... hasn't said it yet, but it fits with other cruel and abusive comments that i tolerate daily to keep the peace.
You've asked a good question. Deserves one good answer... today too many answers.
Quote from: anya on April 15, 2013, 01:17:49 AM
Hate it, whatever the context. Just hate it. >:(
Quote from: karla.allen on April 15, 2013, 05:43:21 AM
There's an element of eroticising us that i have not gotten my mind around yet. Too busy for that analysis yet.
Better dont bother :P. Everything which exists can be basically eroticised - mostly by representatives of our beloved birth assigned gender. It has been speculated that quite a high percentage of men have homosexual fantasies and some of them wish to fulfill them. But by doing so they automatically label themselves as gay which infringes upon their masculinity. So, they search for pre-op transwomen because "that would not count". This ignorance would be even funny, if it did not hurt that much - because majority of them do not perceive us as female, though we are not males for them either (males would turn them gay, remember?). I once started to read about this, because when I registered at our local LGBT forum to find other TG/TS, I immediately started to get a lot of unwanted attention from hetero/gay/bi males, despite the fact that I openly stated in my profile what I am and what I am not looking for.
Doesn't bother me. I don't offend easily. I'd rather let it roll off my back.
However, if I was in public and people started saying that to me and making fun of me I'd probably run away and cry :P
.
Quote from: muuu on April 15, 2013, 06:45:21 AM
I don't see how it'd be approriate in any situation to use "->-bleeped-<-"..
Could you give an example of when you think it is ok to use ->-bleeped-<-? Even among friends it's still a bit weird, because I really don't see why you'd need to use that word.
Porn
I see little need for the word in "polite" society. Its slang, and slang is something I seldom if ever use. Of course I used slang at one time of my life, but not anymore.
Quote from: muuu on April 15, 2013, 06:45:21 AM
I don't see how it'd be approriate in any situation to use "->-bleeped-<-"... to me it just sounds really rude. It's like calling a fat person a "fatty" and then continue calling them a "fatty" even after they've lost weight, because they were fat at some point.
Could you give an example of when you think it is ok to use ->-bleeped-<-? Even among friends it's still a bit weird, because I really don't see why you'd need to use that word.
We've done it as a group of mostly post-op trans women who don't take everything seriously or as a personal affront and have a sense of humor. On the other hand if it came from any other source it would be offensive.
I don't care for it. A quick search reveals that several members here use it in their screennames, so it's a YMMV thing.Hugs, Devlyn
Kanye can rhyme 'nigga' and 'gold digger' ... but I'm sure not going to do it.
A gay singing group in the UK call themselves 'Four Poofs and a Piano', ('poof' being the English version of '->-bleeped-<-got'), but that doesn't give straight guys the right to call gay men poofs.
Likewise, if I jokingly refer to myself as a '->-bleeped-<-', because there are times when I want to be able to joke about my situation, just to make up for all the other times when it really bloody hurts, then I can do that. And you can do that, too, if you're TS (even though you know and I know that TS is not the same as TV and '->-bleeped-<-' is applied to both). And if a very, very, very close friend that I absolutely trust affectionately calls me 'you old ->-bleeped-<-,' then maybe - maybe - I'll be cool with that.
But if anyone ever uses that term, or '->-bleeped-<-' as a description of me, let alone shouts it as an insult, no that's not OK and it will never be OK, because it represents all the prejudice and hatred and bigotry that anyone who has lived with being TS, whether they've transitioned or not has had to deal with (even if it's just been that we're so scared of what might happen, rather than what does).
Like the girls have said: context.
Quote from: Carlita on April 15, 2013, 10:09:33 AM
But if anyone ever uses that term, or '->-bleeped-<-' as a description of me, let alone shouts it as an insult, no that's not OK and it will never be OK, because it represents all the prejudice and hatred and bigotry that anyone who has lived with being TS, whether they've transitioned or not has had to deal with (even if it's just been that we're so scared of what might happen, rather than what does).
Like the girls have said: context.
Yeah, ->-bleeped-<- or shim or any variety of that will get you something like a punch in the face from me (either literal or figurative). ->-bleeped-<- is tame by comparison.
... if Auntie Karla doesn't slug 'em first.
a propos, t'ai chi is wonderful because it develops lower body strength. T'ai chi is one martial art, in which there's no gender advantage, and a girl can really take care of herself. (most practitioners would say that's it's just for health, and please run from any real fight)
Quote from: NJade on April 15, 2013, 10:19:38 AM
Yeah, ->-bleeped-<- or shim or any variety of that will get you something like a punch in the face from me (either literal or figurative). ->-bleeped-<- is tame by comparison.
I absolutely hate that term in this threads title and always have. The term "transvestite" is an outdated clinical term created by the psychology community. I can say from personal experience and observation that this simplistic label is not much more descriptive than "person". It's exists to to provide a simple way of "understanding" a very complex group of individuals. The unfortunate thing is many of us buy into the simplistic concept and try to fit the stereotype. It's never good to to mold yourself into someone else's concept. My approach has always been to completely ignore labels and create my own version of who I am.
Quote from: karla.allen on April 15, 2013, 11:02:05 AM
... if Auntie Karla doesn't slug 'em first.
a propos, t'ai chi is wonderful because it develops lower body strength. T'ai chi is one martial art, in which there's no gender advantage, and a girl can really take care of herself. (most practitioners would say that's it's just for health, and please run from any real fight)
As is Xinyiquan and Bagua. But just as in case with taijiquan, practical application very much differs from health routines :). Just to mention - combat application of one of the basic movements is intended to break attacker's hand in three joints (wrist, elbow + dislocate shoulder). Otherwise, very nice and peaceful art :)
Don't like the term.
As for the people who use it, it's basically easier for them to use than to come out and admit 'I am a complete div.'
Bothers me when I'm called it, but sometimes I'll use it when referring to myself, I don't know why when I hate the word so much :/
Yes I consider it a horrible term and it lights me up every time I hear someone say it, even though it's never been directed and me thank goodness.
To make matters worse, one of my TV fiend roommates just started crushing on Ru Paul's Drag Race which I had never seen before. There is a segment in every episode where they shout "Hey, you've got SHEMAIL". It's made me cringe the three times I've seen the show. When they watched an episode tonight and it happened, I just blurted out "that's f*****'d". No response from them, I'm not sure if they get it. It makes me realize how horrible I think that show is for a few reasons like that.
Maybe it's good for exposing that people are just people doing their thing, but it also opens up a whole can of worms against transgendered folks and horribly defamatory terminologies that I cannot believe are being aired all over the country! Yikes
Quote from: Jennygirl on April 16, 2013, 01:18:13 AM
Yes I consider it a horrible term and it lights me up every time I hear someone say it, even though it's never been directed and me thank goodness.
To make matters worse, one of my TV fiend roommates just started crushing on Ru Paul's Drag Race which I had never seen before. There is a segment in every episode where they shout "Hey, you've got SHEMAIL". It's made me cringe the three times I've seen the show. When they watched an episode tonight and it happened, I just blurted out "that's f*****'d". No response from them, I'm not sure if they get it. It makes me realize how horrible I think that show is for a few reasons like that.
Maybe it's good for exposing that people are just people doing their thing, but it also opens up a whole can of worms against transgendered folks and horribly defamatory terminologies that I cannot believe are being aired all over the country! Yikes
I hate that show, from what I have seen of it. Its shows like this, and jerry springer, that is probally the main reason people even started using the phrase's they do and calling us those names. Bad advertizing.
Quote from: StellaB on April 15, 2013, 04:54:18 PMa complete div.'
OK. This a thread about terms. "Div" is a new one to me.
"->-bleeped-<-" or "transvestite" doesn't really bother me, as a matter of fact, I could care less. After all they are just words. How it is said on the other hand, or used to belittle or hurt someone, then they become negative discriptions. I am not into all the P.C. and I really despise the P.C. police. Words are words and we have the freedom to say them, if we dare and don't care what the P.C. police say. Besides most people are ignorant to the transgendered aspects of life and the only education they get about it is through entertainment medias, so I would guess when most people use it it is just a description because they don't know any better.
Quote from: Jess42 on April 16, 2013, 09:08:30 AM
I am not into all the P.C. and I really despise the P.C. police. Words are words and we have the freedom to say them, if we dare and don't care what the P.C. police say.
So this means you're okay with stuff like slander, libel and defamation of character? Words and words right? And we have the freedom right?
I'm not exactly PC as I much rather favour the more traditional values of personal responsibility and consideration for other people's feelings.
But freedom carries responsibility. Words are as real as the people saying them are, and I'm all for holding people as responsible for their words as they are for their thoughts and actions.
Quote from: StellaB on April 16, 2013, 09:29:14 AM
So this means you're okay with stuff like slander, libel and defamation of character? Words and words right? And we have the freedom right?
I'm not exactly PC as I much rather favour the more traditional values of personal responsibility and consideration for other people's feelings.
But freedom carries responsibility. Words are as real as the people saying them are, and I'm all for holding people as responsible for their words as they are for their thoughts and actions.
You have made a good point Stella, and to be honest I have noted that here on the North American continent words are flung around carelessly, it all goes back to a saying from a song back in the 1960's "It don't mean nothin!" Whereas, people south of the US border and elsewhere take words very seriously, for instance if you were to refer to a hispanic woman as a pig, you might be lucky to escape without being cut to pieces by her husband or other family member. Words carry weight and when they are let fly they can pierce someone's heart like an arrow. We need to be more conscious of that here.
Its funny how this thread idea keeps popping up about every 6 months or so.
I remember the old saying, Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you. I heard this from my parents so often.
Oh how wrong that statement is, words used by the right (or wrong) person can hurt very much. Its time we learned to respect other peoples feelings and treat them as we want to be treated, with courtesy and respect.
Yeah, I noticed that the one time I saw it. The problem is this: Drag performers are all about the attention, drama, and accentuating - making fun of women really. They're largely sexist over-amplification depictions of what gay men believe women to be - "annoying". Most drag queens hate trans* identified people, because we're not "gay". I have only ever met one drag queen that wasn't a complete bitch to me. Ru Paul's whole show is kinda degrading tbh
Quote from: Jennygirl on April 16, 2013, 01:18:13 AM
Yes I consider it a horrible term and it lights me up every time I hear someone say it, even though it's never been directed and me thank goodness.
To make matters worse, one of my TV fiend roommates just started crushing on Ru Paul's Drag Race which I had never seen before. There is a segment in every episode where they shout "Hey, you've got SHEMAIL".
You see my whole issue with the term '->-bleeped-<-' is that just like '->-bleeped-<-' and '->-bleeped-<-' and such terms it dehumanizes the human being being referred to, and the label stigmatizes them. Originally '->-bleeped-<-' was a shortened form of 'transvestite' but because so many people assume rather than discuss, it's come to describe anyone and everyone between a sissy (itself a completely valid subculture) to a post-op transwoman.
This is where I have issues both with freedom of speech and also with PC or political correctness - they remove the responsibility we need to take for our words and how we articulate our thoughts and ideas. Without that need to take responsibility for what we say and write we actually diminish our language, and by stretching the meaning of the words we are also diminishing our culture.
Political correctness is just as bad I feel as using terms which dehumanize because they allow for 'social stigma' - the negative assumptions people make about others when it comes to their appearance, their behaviour and their lifestyle.
This allows people to impose existing cultural beliefs on others by creating broad social categories and a social division between 'us' and 'them'. It also validates a social hierarchy which is nothing more than an illusion, leads to the status loss of those unfortunate to be placed in the 'them' category which in turn leads to a very real denial of opportunity for the people who are stigmatized.
Another example of this social stigma is the use of the word 'taxpayer' which is used to stigmatize anybody who is jobless or in receipt of welfare benefits. This completely ignores the fact that income tax (which is the definitive tax) isn't the only form of taxation, and by labelling welfare recipients as scroungers, parasites and unproductive members of society actually proves counterproductive simply because it handicaps many jobseekers making it harder for them to find the employment which takes them off welfare benefits.
This form of stigmatization works because people assume that by not needing to claim welfare benefits that they are somehow better than the welfare recipients, that they are more intelligent, better educated, more resourceful, more successful. They support policies which oppress and villify the jobless, which leads to millions of lives being destroyed and futures wrecked as a result of the status loss and discrimination. All because of some people's desperate emotional need to feel worthwhile.
Similar thing too with '->-bleeped-<-'. It dehumanizes because it emphasizes the perceived defect, the gender dysphoria, the incompatibility between mind, body and soul, encouraging people to see the stigmatized person as a freak of nature, a subhuman, a defective human being. However many people dismiss this gender dysphoria also because it would still require them to understand and to accept, so instead its perceived as the lifestyle choice of someone choosing to be someone who they're not in reality.
Quote from: lissabuchannon on April 16, 2013, 10:53:39 AM
Yeah, I noticed that the one time I saw it. The problem is this: Drag performers are all about the attention, drama, and accentuating - making fun of women really. They're largely sexist over-amplification depictions of what gay men believe women to be - "annoying". Most drag queens hate trans* identified people, because we're not "gay". I have only ever met one drag queen that wasn't a complete bitch to me. Ru Paul's whole show is kinda degrading tbh
A couple of reminders about the site mission and rules:
Quote from: Susan on January 26, 2009, 10:04:38 PM
Community Definitions:
Transgender: an inclusive umbrella term which covers anyone who transcends their birth gender for any reason. This includes but is not limited to Androgynes, Crossdressers, Drag kings, Drag queens, Intersexuals, Transsexuals, and Transvestites.
Androgyne: An androgynous person
Androgynous: Being neither distinguishably masculine nor feminine, as in dress, appearance, or behavior.
Crossdresser: a person wears the clothing of the opposite gender, and has no desire to permanently change their sex. There is generally no sexual motivation for the cross-dressing.
Drag kings: performers, usually gay women or transgendered men - who dress in "drag," clothing associated with the male gender, usually highly exaggerated versions thereof. Drag kings often do drag to perform, singing or lip-syncing and dancing, participating in events such as gay pride parades, cabarets, discotheques, and other celebrations and venues.
Drag queens: performers, usually gay men or transgendered women - who dress in "drag," clothing associated with the female gender, usually highly exaggerated versions thereof. Drag queens often do drag to perform, singing or lip-syncing and dancing, participating in events such as gay pride parades, cabarets, discotheques, and other celebrations and venues.
Intersexual: a person born with the full or partial sex organs of both sexes; with underdeveloped or ambiguous sex organs; a sex chromosome karyotype other than XX or XY; or sex hormone receptor problems which prevent normal absorption of Estrogen or Androgens. Intersexual persons may seek to make their body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatments.
Significant other: for the purpose of this site, someone close to a person who is transgender. This may be a mother, father, son, daughter, sister, brother, family member, husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, or friend.
Transsexual: a person who is mentally one gender, but has the body of the other. They desire to live and be accepted as a member of the mental gender, this is generally accompanied by the strong desire to make their body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatments.
Transvestite: a person who wears the clothing of the opposite gender, and has no desire to permanently change their sex. There is generally a strong sexual motivation for the cross-dressing.
Other terms:
Post-Ops: Transsexuals who have had surgical procedures to make their body as congruent as possible with their preferred sex. For MTF transsexuals this is generally considered to be after Genital surgery (GRS, orchiectomy, and/or penectomy), for FTM transsexuals it is generally considered to be after top surgery.
Pre-ops: Transsexuals who desire to to make their body as congruent as possible with their preferred sex, but have not yet had the surgical procedures for whatever reason.
This is not intended to be a glossary of all tg related terms. This just defines the make-up of the community on this site.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.msg337984.html#msg337984 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.msg337984.html#msg337984)
From the site TOS:
10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason. This includes but is not limited to:Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella termSuggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others
Drag Kings and Queens are as welcome to use this site for support as any other person, please make sure to be welcoming and supportive. Hugs, Devlyn
I don't mind it...at all....
When someone uses the "n-word" for a black person, it is from a long tradition of using that word specifically as a derogatory term. But, actually, when black people were still slaves... the meaning wasn't seen as derogatory, it was just another word for black (since both meant the same thing, both were equal levels of derogatory).
We are still just coming out of that early period. ->-bleeped-<- is obviously offensive (since it is a porn term), but ->-bleeped-<-? Nope, it really simply means "transgendered" to most people (and being transgendered is bad enough on its own). Actually, I'm more offended by transsexual (since that implies you are transsexual, when I actually identify as transgendered). ->-bleeped-<- seems like a relaxed way of saying "trans" and I use it alllllll the time, even though I try to use "Trans" more (actually, every trans person I know in real life uses ->-bleeped-<- also... no one seems to have a problem with it in a casual sense).
If someone in business were to refer to me as a ->-bleeped-<- though, I might be a bit more offended (since it is such a casual term,
Basically, I guess it really depends how they are using it. If they say "transsexual" or "transgendered" with a disgusted / judging inflection, I would be offended also. But if I met some guy at a club and he innocently goes "ohh you are a ->-bleeped-<-?" I would just laugh and say "yup" (since, he isn't really judging, it is just a shorter version of transgender /transsexual).
I think teaching trans people to be offended by the word does more harm than good though. Maybe in the past "->-bleeped-<-" was derogatory and horrible and everything else....but today it really isn't (simply there is a big group of people insisting it is and getting angry at people who aren't using it in a negative way at all). All that does is make us seem overly aggressive / sensitive and jumping on people who aren't meaning any offense (which is a sure way to push people away and think we are crazy).
Heck, even I get pretty confused with all the semantics in this community ~_~_~ For example, a pre-transitioned person? Do you call them by their "new" gender that they aren't presenting as but are beginning to identify as? Or do you call them by their old one until they get a little further and make the switch publicly?
And the entire transgender / transsexual / transvestite thing? Really, you can't expect someone who has never met a transgendered person to know all this stuff ~_~ If you get mad at them because they haven't been introduced to it and make a "mistake"... it (again) just makes us seem hostile. ->-bleeped-<- / trans is the least of our problems (if it is one at all).
How about first step we just get them to accept we aren't all sex workers or perverts? And we can battle the public on proper semantics (that we can't even agree on lol) down the road ~_~ ->-bleeped-<-? Great, yell at them for that. ->-bleeped-<-? Meeeh, let it slide.
.
Quote from: StellaB on April 16, 2013, 09:29:14 AM
So this means you're okay with stuff like slander, libel and defamation of character? Words and words right? And we have the freedom right?
I'm not exactly PC as I much rather favour the more traditional values of personal responsibility and consideration for other people's feelings.
But freedom carries responsibility. Words are as real as the people saying them are, and I'm all for holding people as responsible for their words as they are for their thoughts and actions.
No. I'm not OK with slander and defamation of character or out and out lies but on the other hand if the slander or the so-called defamation is true then that is a different story. If someone told you that your doctor didn't graduate med school and you are about to have a bypass done by him/her, wouldn't you want to know? What if it turned out to be true. In society that is afraid of being sued for slander or defamation of character, if it ever came to that, you would probably never hear of it.
In my life I have been defamed, slandered against, called all kinds of names and so on, just as everyone else at one time or another. You know the old saying about sticks and stones and truly the words never hurt me, I never even bled once from them. I could really care less about what anyone thinks of me, says about me and so on. What bothers me is that as a society, if we start banning words, what else will be next?
Personal responsiblity and taking people's feelings into consideration I agree with you. It's all in the context as to how a word can be offensive or not. I just don't find too much that offends me other than body odor and nasty farts. So maybe I am different.
Apologies if it came off as bashing anyone, that certainly isn't my intent. I just stated my opinion. I don't feel/believe that CD's are any less of a person than someone with a trans* experience, because to me, drag is a completely different thing, and is more gay male than CD, trans*, etc. Sorry :/
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 16, 2013, 11:06:23 AM
From the site TOS:
10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason. This includes but is not limited to:Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella termSuggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others
Drag Kings and Queens are as welcome to use this site for support as any other person, please make sure to be welcoming and supportive. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: lissabuchannon on April 16, 2013, 04:12:09 PM
Apologies if it came off as bashing anyone, that certainly isn't my intent. I just stated my opinion. I don't feel/believe that CD's are any less of a person than someone with a trans* experience, because to me, drag is a completely different thing, and is more gay male than CD, trans*, etc. Sorry :/
I'm just making sure you're aware of the nature of this support community, and the varied backgrounds of the people who use and contribute to the site. We try not to herd our friends into groups and call them bitches here.
Quote from: lissabuchannon on April 16, 2013, 10:53:39 AM
Yeah, I noticed that the one time I saw it. The problem is this: Drag performers are all about the attention, drama, and accentuating - making fun of women really. They're largely sexist over-amplification depictions of what gay men believe women to be - "annoying". Most drag queens hate trans* identified people, because we're not "gay". I have only ever met one drag queen that wasn't a complete bitch to me. Ru Paul's whole show is kinda degrading tbh
Be polite and supportive when posting here, and remember that there are people from all walks of life using the site. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Jess42 on April 16, 2013, 03:56:40 PM
What bothers me is that as a society, if we start banning words, what else will be next?
Okay. Please.. picture yourself in a pine forest, with trees either side of you. Under your feet is a path about the width of a suburban street of lush green grass. All around you birds are singing as you walk up a steadily incline to the top of a hill.
At the top of a hill there is a bank. The trees stop. You come to the edge and you find yourself on the edge of what appears to be a disused quarry which is now overgrown.
It is silent. No birds. No trees. Just silence.
You turn back and you walk back along the grassy road between the trees. You start to hear birdsong again. It all seems natural again and this continues for about a mile and a half. Then you come to a clearing.
There's another path leading into the forest. It takes you left into the forest towards another clearing. In the distance you can see a fairly distinct rectangular patch in the ground. You turn back on yourself and see another. Then another. You realize that there were once buildings here.
But what?
You continue. To your right you see a greyish-blue concrete wall. It's about fifty or sixty feet across. About eighteen feet high. Smooth grey blue concrete.
You walk past it and see the other side. On the other side it's not so smooth. There's chips and pock marks in the concrete along the lower half - up to about six or so feet (though one or two are higher). There's a concentration of these pock marks in the centre of the wall.
A little further to your left you see flagstones under clumps of grass and for a moment think it's another causeway or road.
It isn't. It's a disused railway platform.
Welcome to Treblinka. Or more specifically Treblinka II.
That railway station platform was the final destination for the Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto and others, such as Roma, Poles, Serbs, the untermenschen from Germany, and others.
Those rectangles were the barracks. That concrete wall was where prisoners were executed by firing squad every morning and every evening at roll call. Prisoners were beaten, whipped, kicked, punched. If you had a mark such as a bruise on you at roll call, you were executed.
That grassy road in the forest? That was The Tube - where men, women and children were forced to run chased by guards and dogs up to the gas chambers at the top. The screams of people being gassed literally caused people to relieve themselves, so the condemned were forced to run through a route more than ankle deep in human feces.
The bodies from the gas chamber were cleared, placed on -pyres and set fire to. The stench of burning flesh etc could be smelled over two miles away at Malkinia where the branch to Treblinka left the main Warsaw - Bialystok railway.
In the year between 1942 and 1943 when Treblinka II was operational some 865,000 or so people were exterminated. This was the second highest of all the camps in Poland, second only to the camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
I have been there. I still remember that day vividly. I don't think I will ever forget some of those eerie silences.
One of the problems with having complete freedom is that you can end up with anarchy. Anarchy is fine if you don't mind living in a society based on the laws of the jungle where only the strong survive.
Or you could end up with something far worse.
Let us not forget that the Holocaust started out with just words and a few ideas.
as with all words, it depends on the delivery and context. like if somebody says "you ->-bleeped-<-" in soft voice which then trials upwards in pitch and then playfully bumps my shoulder... well it's obviously more of a pet name sort of thing. kind of like loving calling my dog a dumbass.
Quote from: StellaB on April 16, 2013, 05:56:55 PM
Okay. Please.. picture yourself in a pine forest, with trees either side of you. Under your feet is a path about the width of a suburban street of lush green grass. All around you birds are singing as you walk up a steadily incline to the top of a hill.
At the top of a hill there is a bank. The trees stop. You come to the edge and you find yourself on the edge of what appears to be a disused quarry which is now overgrown.
It is silent. No birds. No trees. Just silence.
You turn back and you walk back along the grassy road between the trees. You start to hear birdsong again. It all seems natural again and this continues for about a mile and a half. Then you come to a clearing.
There's another path leading into the forest. It takes you left into the forest towards another clearing. In the distance you can see a fairly distinct rectangular patch in the ground. You turn back on yourself and see another. Then another. You realize that there were once buildings here.
But what?
You continue. To your right you see a greyish-blue concrete wall. It's about fifty or sixty feet across. About eighteen feet high. Smooth grey blue concrete.
You walk past it and see the other side. On the other side it's not so smooth. There's chips and pock marks in the concrete along the lower half - up to about six or so feet (though one or two are higher). There's a concentration of these pock marks in the centre of the wall.
A little further to your left you see flagstones under clumps of grass and for a moment think it's another causeway or road.
It isn't. It's a disused railway platform.
Welcome to Treblinka. Or more specifically Treblinka II.
That railway station platform was the final destination for the Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto and others, such as Roma, Poles, Serbs, the untermenschen from Germany, and others.
Those rectangles were the barracks. That concrete wall was where prisoners were executed by firing squad every morning and every evening at roll call. Prisoners were beaten, whipped, kicked, punched. If you had a mark such as a bruise on you at roll call, you were executed.
That grassy road in the forest? That was The Tube - where men, women and children were forced to run chased by guards and dogs up to the gas chambers at the top. The screams of people being gassed literally caused people to relieve themselves, so the condemned were forced to run through a route more than ankle deep in human feces.
The bodies from the gas chamber were cleared, placed on -pyres and set fire to. The stench of burning flesh etc could be smelled over two miles away at Malkinia where the branch to Treblinka left the main Warsaw - Bialystok railway.
In the year between 1942 and 1943 when Treblinka II was operational some 865,000 or so people were exterminated. This was the second highest of all the camps in Poland, second only to the camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
I have been there. I still remember that day vividly. I don't think I will ever forget some of those eerie silences.
One of the problems with having complete freedom is that you can end up with anarchy. Anarchy is fine if you don't mind living in a society based on the laws of the jungle where only the strong survive.
Or you could end up with something far worse.
Let us not forget that the Holocaust started out with just words and a few ideas.
uh. yeah. words didn't cause that. unchecked political actions fueled by carefully crafted speeches caused that. TOTALLY different and a completely bunk argument.
Quote from: tomthom on April 16, 2013, 06:45:55 PM
uh. yeah. words didn't cause that. unchecked political actions fueled by carefully crafted speeches caused that. TOTALLY different and a completely bunk argument.
And 'carefully crafted speeches' are composed of what exactly?
words. yes. but so is all speech. and text.
simply because an umbrella term covers something doesn't make the umbrella relevant to the effects.
and here, just because I kow somebody is going to try and say that it's a semantics issues and speeches are in fact composed of words, most speeches actually have very little to do with the actual topic they supposedly cover. most are filled with fluff. The real meat is in the intonation and body language, and one notable master of both was Adolf Hitler.
Anyway, this is derailing the topic. there was no need for such longwinded historically charged commentary with zero relevance.
What are speeches if not words..... words that incite a desired effect to vilify and label a group as undesireable ,not of the norm, harmful to the majority and thusly justify(sic) derision, violence and persucution in the name of right. I can easily follow StellaB's line of thought.
Quote from: Lorri Kat on April 16, 2013, 07:10:46 PM
words that incite a desired effect to vilify and label a group as undesireable ,not of the norm, harmful to the majority and thusly justify(sic) derision, violence and persucution in the name of right. I can easily follow StellaB's line of thought.
I pretty much agree. I've heard the term ->-bleeped-<- tossed around alot by men and it's almost always in a bad, negative connotation. Men in fact use the word ->-bleeped-<- as a very bad thing and words do matter. I've never once heard a man call someone a ->-bleeped-<- without hearing them seethe with inner violence and spite. Look at Billy Coorgan's comments about trans women. Then look at the comments about the comments. Then tell me ->-bleeped-<- is not usually a very negative word.
This negativity is not usually demonstrated by women for whatever reason. I rarely, if ever, can remember a woman using it.
it does bother me when someone uses it. even it is used within the group. personally I have been called it only once a while back and personally it hurt.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on April 16, 2013, 07:24:36 PM
I pretty much agree. I've heard the term ->-bleeped-<- tossed around alot by men and it's almost always in a bad, negative connotation. Men in fact use the word ->-bleeped-<- as a very bad thing and words do matter. I've never once heard a man call someone a ->-bleeped-<- without hearing them seethe with inner violence and spite. Look at Billy Coorgan's comments about trans women. Then look at the comments about the comments. Then tell me ->-bleeped-<- is not usually a very negative word.
This negativity is not usually demonstrated by women for whatever reason. I rarely, if ever, can remember a woman using it.
Nods.. all you have to do is read the comments under any 'Bathroom Bill' news article to see how ->-bleeped-<-, trans , transgender is being perveyed as synonymous with child molester, perverted, deviant and mentaly ill.
I was actually debating this very topic a few weeks ago and how to address it, especially on a large scale audience. Does the word matter between groups/communities versus national/international. The topic of ->-bleeped-<- came up as well but that closed swiftly in agreement of it being offensive. But the term ->-bleeped-<- can make some uncomfortable or upset. Others are fine with it. Some even use it included in screen names, etc. For me, I used to get upset but not really anymore (depending on the context of it being said of course). The other thing to consider is the ones who are living full-time and stealth who would rather be called their specific gender as opposed to trans in any form.
Quote from: StellaB on April 16, 2013, 05:56:55 PM
Okay. Please.. picture yourself in a pine forest, with trees either side of you. Under your feet is a path about the width of a suburban street of lush green grass. All around you birds are singing as you walk up a steadily incline to the top of a hill.
At the top of a hill there is a bank. The trees stop. You come to the edge and you find yourself on the edge of what appears to be a disused quarry which is now overgrown.
It is silent. No birds. No trees. Just silence.
You turn back and you walk back along the grassy road between the trees. You start to hear birdsong again. It all seems natural again and this continues for about a mile and a half. Then you come to a clearing.
There's another path leading into the forest. It takes you left into the forest towards another clearing. In the distance you can see a fairly distinct rectangular patch in the ground. You turn back on yourself and see another. Then another. You realize that there were once buildings here.
But what?
You continue. To your right you see a greyish-blue concrete wall. It's about fifty or sixty feet across. About eighteen feet high. Smooth grey blue concrete.
You walk past it and see the other side. On the other side it's not so smooth. There's chips and pock marks in the concrete along the lower half - up to about six or so feet (though one or two are higher). There's a concentration of these pock marks in the centre of the wall.
A little further to your left you see flagstones under clumps of grass and for a moment think it's another causeway or road.
It isn't. It's a disused railway platform.
Welcome to Treblinka. Or more specifically Treblinka II.
That railway station platform was the final destination for the Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto and others, such as Roma, Poles, Serbs, the untermenschen from Germany, and others.
Those rectangles were the barracks. That concrete wall was where prisoners were executed by firing squad every morning and every evening at roll call. Prisoners were beaten, whipped, kicked, punched. If you had a mark such as a bruise on you at roll call, you were executed.
That grassy road in the forest? That was The Tube - where men, women and children were forced to run chased by guards and dogs up to the gas chambers at the top. The screams of people being gassed literally caused people to relieve themselves, so the condemned were forced to run through a route more than ankle deep in human feces.
The bodies from the gas chamber were cleared, placed on -pyres and set fire to. The stench of burning flesh etc could be smelled over two miles away at Malkinia where the branch to Treblinka left the main Warsaw - Bialystok railway.
In the year between 1942 and 1943 when Treblinka II was operational some 865,000 or so people were exterminated. This was the second highest of all the camps in Poland, second only to the camp at Auschwitz-Birkenau.
I have been there. I still remember that day vividly. I don't think I will ever forget some of those eerie silences.
One of the problems with having complete freedom is that you can end up with anarchy. Anarchy is fine if you don't mind living in a society based on the laws of the jungle where only the strong survive.
Or you could end up with something far worse.
Let us not forget that the Holocaust started out with just words and a few ideas.
I agree with tomthom in that words didn't cause the Holocaust as much as a charismatic speechgiver and a herdlike or lemminglike mentality mixed in with bad econimics. It wasn't the words but how they were put together and delivered that got the people riled up, along with promises of this or that. I really don't care much for society as a whole because the same thing can happen again or many more times out of a desperation for a "better tomorrow". Hitler used the Jewish people as a scapegoat to gain power and to blame for the desperate times. Who will be the next scapegoat for another powerhungry, insane maniac? Could be any ethnicity or religion, could be me or you even. Really though, I can't blame Adolph Hitler as much as the German people at that time as a whole that allowed him to have the power and I respect and admire those who resisted. Without the followers, Hitler would have been just another insane maniac that would have probably been in and out of prison. But with the people backing him, we all know what happened. The scary part is that it can happen again.
Yes society needs laws but moral laws. Laws that punish criminals for wrongdoing. Laws that prevent discrimination based on gender, race, religion and so on. When I say "morals" I am not speaking of relious theories on morality but rather just common sense laws that coincide with how we are supposed to treat our fellow humans. Without any laws, you will have chaos but on the other hand, too many laws especially stupid ones just for the sake of writing laws will cause anarchy.
Pardon my language here, calling someone a ->-bleeped-<- to me is a lot like calling someone a ->-bleeped-<-got. I think it's a degrading word meant to insult us in the trans community but I think it's a word we should take back and show people that words are meaningless without context. That's just me personally.
What bothers me now is that this stupid conversation goes on for four long pages, can we move beyond this insipid stuff?
Quote from: Shantel on April 17, 2013, 01:13:28 PM
What bothers me now is that this stupid conversation goes on for four long pages, can we move beyond this insipid stuff?
You could always choose to ignore the thread.
Regarding the topic as stupid and insipid is your prerogative, but those who have voiced their opinions in this thread clearly don't feel the same way.
I think it is important to remember that some people, especially men, lack tone when they speak. And also that it is possible to mistake the context of someone's remarks. And the problem is if you're in conversation with someone or are called a ->-bleeped-<- and you think it is playful when it is not, you could get hurt. I agree that it is all about context but as individuals you have to identify that context correctly 100 percent of the time. I can't count the number of times I have mistaken someone's remarks as something different then what they are. The problem, as I see it, is that some people really hate us.
Heck, maybe you are out and you pass 100 percent, but then you and your friends are tossing the word ->-bleeped-<- around and then someone who does not like trans women hears it and becomes enraged. If you live in a really awesome place like New Zealand or something you prob won't have this problem but if you're in the USA, I don't think this fictional anecdote is extreme. I'd just urge everyone to exercise caution.
Quote from: natastic on April 17, 2013, 01:18:05 PM
You could always choose to ignore the thread.
Regarding the topic as stupid and insipid is your prerogative, but those who have voiced their opinions in this thread clearly don't feel the same way.
I realize that, but there are thousands of members here who can all agree that the word ->-bleeped-<- is awful, surely there is something more than this?
I see this thread is going the direction it always does, downhill.
Let's leave out the personal insults.
The word tranvestite doesn't even apply to me, seeing as how it refers to one who wears clothes of the opposite gender for sexual gratification, so if I wear called that, I'd probably take offense, unless the person was really confused and didn't know what it meant.
As for being called ->-bleeped-<-, I'm okay as long as it's my close friends and I know we're just joking around, but if someone uses it in a derogatory manner, that's usually irritating.
more offensive than ->-bleeped-<-, and almost as bad as ->-bleeped-<- is "Heshe"
I dont find ->-bleeped-<- quite offensive as most, but if we dont want to be called it in bad light we shouldnt use it ourselves
Quote from: kokochan900 on April 17, 2013, 04:41:04 PM
The word tranvestite doesn't even apply to me, seeing as how it refers to one who wears clothes of the opposite gender for sexual gratification, so if I wear called that, I'd probably take offense, unless the person was really confused and didn't know what it meant.
As for being called ->-bleeped-<-, I'm okay as long as it's my close friends and I know we're just joking around, but if someone uses it in a derogatory manner, that's usually irritating.
I don't identify as a transvestite either, I am a crossdresser. I don't find the behaviour of transvestites to be offensive in any way, but you seem to? Transvestites are a welcome part of this community, we respect and support everyone here. It's funny how we demand respect from the outside, yet kick our own. Always show people the level of respect that you wish to receive from them. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: kokochan900 on April 17, 2013, 04:41:04 PM
The word tranvestite doesn't even apply to me, seeing as how it refers to one who wears clothes of the opposite gender for sexual gratification,
I'm a transgender woman, but I wear my boyfriends shirt sometimes when we have sex and it is really hot, I get gratifacation from it, guess im a transvestite, and proud of it.
Bothers me ,it sound not nice but as many say it depend on how it's mend.
What else we got, gender shifter or shape shifter. Most words do get a bad name trough the movies !
I mean sad world if sex was as the movies show it .But in other ways we use it daily like XXX american , not we are all americans nope ,always ethnic in front. Many "normal" people have no idea that a trans man/woman thinks as one ,only the body is not what the mind is. As long as TV and movies spread a view that is way of "normal" I guess any word the use is bad, giving name to a cliché.
And we smile if we hear a bad joke.. we stay humans.
No it doesn't bother me. I've even used it referring to myself among friends who know I am a transsexual. (I know bad me)
Truth be told though, I've never actually been called ->-bleeped-<- when I am out and about. I probably wouldn't like it if a stranger called me that.
The thing that offends me more than anything is when they just call us "it" (Never been called that either but that one makes me see red when I hear or read someone saying that)
Quote from: Cherrie on April 23, 2013, 05:27:19 AM
I would hate to be called ->-bleeped-<-
Ditto. It's the meaning behind the word that counts.
We still have to fight for our rights... and stand tall. Maybe someday
->-bleeped-<- will be a word of pride. Hope i live to see it.
I definitely wouldn't like it, no.
If said in ignorance I'd be annoyed, but that's it. I would friendly but firmly correct the person and say it's not a nice thing to say and explain, etc. if said with a bad intent... well, I get seriously pissed, but reacting would only make matters worse, so I would probably ignore that person. Maybe say something back which makes them look dumb in the process if I'm in the mood for it. Usually I wouldn't bother though.
Gladly I have yet to meet someone who calls me that, but then again... I'm not out to 'the world' yet.
I hate that word, but prefer it over Mr. or Sir. If that makes sence
Sorry for breaking into this thread. I may belong on the other side, but couldn't help but respond.
I think the word ->-bleeped-<- is a confusion from the older days. When transsexual people were less known and taboo, they were all put into the same box, called ->-bleeped-<- or tranvestite. So people who dress up for fun without having the desire to change gender, and people who are genuinly born in the wrong body were all given the same label.
Nowadays, we know better. There is a significant difference between the two. Tranvestites have no desire to alter their biological gender, while transsexual people do. However, the term '->-bleeped-<-' lingers, and hovers over both kinds of people. Slowly but surely, I expect that to change.
Quote from: Sadie on April 22, 2013, 11:54:31 PM
No it doesn't bother me. I've even used it referring to myself among friends who know I am a transsexual. (I know bad me)
Truth be told though, I've never actually been called ->-bleeped-<- when I am out and about. I probably wouldn't like it if a stranger called me that.
The thing that offends me more than anything is when they just call us "it" (Never been called that either but that one makes me see red when I hear or read someone saying that)
I agree, It and that thing, offends me more than anything too. If someone calls me a ->-bleeped-<-, ->-bleeped-<-, t-girl or anything else and as long as it's not said in a purposely hurtful way, I just chalk it up as they know of no other terms or ignorrant to the fact of what we would prefer to be called.
For a lot of these terms, I blame the entertainment industry, from TV to movies to the porn industry.
I really prefer to consider myself a special enigma, lucky enough to experience both aspects. Helps keep me from judging people too harshly.
Hate the word, hate that this topic keeps coming up.
Depends.
Sometimes I call myself that, usually when I am being over the top, drunk, rediculous, and/or in a gay scene (club/bar/pride/whatever).
I have never mastered a graceful way of telling an interested guy(or girl) that I am a transsexual. It usually comes out rather abrupt "Im a f**kn ->-bleeped-<-!" That possibly may be due to the fact that I am probably intoxicated
I try to laugh at myself, or accept my situation, so often I use the word in an empowering way. If someone yelled that at me across a street, or used it in a derogatory manner. Id probably beat them.
My lovers have never called me that, and Im pretty sure they all knew it would hurt me even if I tried to act all cool and stuff.
->-bleeped-<-, no. Transvestite, yes.
I hate the word "Sissy".
I was thinking to change my name to Sissy La La to compete with Lady Ga Ga :D
Quote from: Nicole on May 10, 2013, 07:27:51 PM
I hate the word "Sissy".
I get called that regularly by a couple of women I know, but for them, its just a variation on sister they use with another woman they know and like.
In British English ->-bleeped-<- also means transistor radio. So, it always makes me think... Haha old fashioned radios and makes me smile.
It's the intent behind words that matters though not the words themselves. I often find myself thinking people (in the world in general) always seem to leap to offense these days. I don't remember it being like that when I was younger. Maybe I'm getting old.
I dislike the term.
Yup I don't like the term either. Every time I hear it being used, its always with negative intent behind it.
I never liked that word, its a derogatory term, its like the N word or the Q word for gay people, I was never a ->-bleeped-<-, I was always a woman, in my school days before my transition I was called a sissy, I hate that word, its horrible, I was never a sissy, I was just a girl.
Quote from: JenJen2011 on May 10, 2013, 07:26:20 PM
->-bleeped-<-, no. Transvestite, yes.
pretty much this.
->-bleeped-<- is a shortnening of transsexual, the way i see it.
Every word has a short version of it.
Yeah, I absolutely hate that word in almost all contexts. It sounds like we're being associated with a category of porn or something... I just find it disgusting when someone ignorantly or maliciously uses the term.
Quote from: Renee on May 10, 2013, 09:02:30 PM
I get called that regularly by a couple of women I know, but for them, its just a variation on sister they use with another woman they know and like.
That is the only time I've ever heard that of anyone using it that way.
Quote from: Nicole on May 13, 2013, 07:51:49 PM
That is the only time I've ever heard that of anyone using it that way.
She was referring to being called sissy. lol
I know, I HATE the term sissy and its the only time I've ever hear of being used in a friendly way.
As for ->-bleeped-<-, I've never been called that, and I guess its like the n-word with some people, i know some girls have used the word to empower themselves, others hate it.
Quote from: Nicole on May 10, 2013, 07:27:51 PM
I hate the word "Sissy".
Same here! I am in no way a sissy and if I ever get called that I will kick there butts and prove it while asking " Who's the sissy now??"
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1096.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg338%2FJennycop%2F280172_1249588299156_full_zps40fb3063.jpg&hash=b001f6ddcf41a67498d700d45215530336f9912e) (http://s1096.photobucket.com/user/Jennycop/media/280172_1249588299156_full_zps40fb3063.jpg.html)
Ooh we hit some hot buttons, there's no sissies here. :icon_peace:
Quote from: Serena Lynn on April 14, 2013, 01:16:49 PM
The term "->-bleeped-<-", "Trannie", or "transvestite" really gets under my skin. I blew up on a guy on a dating site this morning for referring to me as a trannie. Just seeing if its just me.
I know this may be directed more to our sisters, but it bothers me for you and well for us. Its offensive and ppl think perverted things or pornography related fetishes. I hate when ppl look at MTF as trannies or FTM's as rough lesbians who can't get a man so they become one, I would here that as a stud/masculine female. I never had problems with getting men or getting laid. I never felt or was told I was unattractive when feminine or masculine/stud either, I just liked women more and I am a man, but any how its offensive but some people mean no harm and are uneducated. Try to distinguish between the cruel and uninformed and take that pain or anger to educate. Sorry you had to experience that crap either way, they should educate everyone and steer out those things out of society.
Quote from: Dark.Knight on May 13, 2013, 11:05:27 PM
I know this may be directed more to our sisters, but it bothers me for you and well for us. Its offensive and ppl think perverted things or pornography related fetishes. I hate when ppl look at MTF as trannies or FTM's as rough lesbians who can't get a man so they become one, I would here that as a stud/masculine female. I never had problems with getting men or getting laid. I never felt or was told I was unattractive when feminine or masculine/stud either, I just liked women more and I am a man, but any how its offensive but some people mean no harm and are uneducated. Try to distinguish between the cruel and uninformed and take that pain or anger to educate. Sorry you had to experience that crap either way, they should educate everyone and steer out those things out of society.
Your thoughts are well received here Dark Knight and I wish that it was only a matter of educating people out of that kind of crappy thinking, but it's more than just education because it's a matter of the heart and I believe that some people are just plain evil to the core and love to make others squirm. They need a spiritual heart transplant!
Quote from: Shantel on May 14, 2013, 08:57:33 AM
Your thoughts are well received here Dark Knight and I wish that it was only a matter of educating people out of that kind of crappy thinking, but it's more than just education because it's a matter of the heart and I believe that some people are just plain evil to the core and love to make others squirm. They need a spiritual heart transplant!
Yes Ma'am that is true. lol I like that, "spiritual heart transplant."
Quote from: Dark.Knight on May 14, 2013, 11:17:06 AM
Yes Ma'am that is true. lol I like that, "spiritual heart transplant."
I got ma'am-ed by Dark Knight, :eusa_dance: what a sweet guy!
Quote from: Shantel on May 14, 2013, 12:55:40 PM
I got ma'am-ed by Dark Knight, :eusa_dance: what a sweet guy!
LOL too kind lovely, too kind ;D ;)
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 17, 2013, 05:27:55 PM
I don't identify as a transvestite either, I am a crossdresser. I don't find the behaviour of transvestites to be offensive in any way, but you seem to? Transvestites are a welcome part of this community, we respect and support everyone here. It's funny how we demand respect from the outside, yet kick our own. Always show people the level of respect that you wish to receive from them. Hugs, Devlyn
Oh no no no no. I don't have anything against transvestites at all and I totally support them too, I just get bothered when people seem to think that the whole purpose of my transition is to satisfy a fetish of mine. There's a distinct difference between doing something for pleasure and doing something for life.
Nobody has called me ->-bleeped-<- yet but I am still in hiding sort of speak. I have told my parents and my brother but then played it off like it was some sort of phase I was going through and didn't anymore. Since then I have noticed when they talk about "gays" "Trans" "Crossdressers" or Brittney Griner I get upset but don't speak up. Sometimes I just want to say hey I am a "->-bleeped-<-." Whenever anyone talks about brittney Griner about her having an adam's apple or saying that she is a jawanaman I mention what if she was born a hermaphodite? they can't deny her the opportunity to play basketball and she has to fit in somewhere.