I'm 23 and I want to start HRT asap.
I know that many people start later in life, but I hear that the best results are achieved before the age of 25, which makes sense as this is a sort of "peak age".
I'm worried that if I miss this window of opportunity I'll be damaging my chances of a successful transition.
There was no real point to this thread I suppose I just wanted to whine, lol :(
I started at your age. What is keeping you from starting HRT?
I live with my parents. I want to be in a better financial position and im in therapy for OCD/health anxiety which is quite a lot to be getting on with atm.
But it's mainly the parents thing. They're sick to death of my OCD, they can't handle it. I don't think they could handle being told that I'm transgender :P
There are a lot of myths (http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Hormones_:_Urban_Legends#Urban_Legend_.233:_The_younger_you_are.2C_the_better_you.27ll_do_.28FTM_and_MTF.29) and 'everybody knows' about HRT out there. The best time is before or during your first puberty. After that, genetics determine a lot. Someone could be 20 and have a less satisfactory result than someone 40 depending on genetics. Testosterone isn't an equal opportunity poisoner lol. Arguably, by 20 most the damage has already been done.
I really don't think there's much difference between 23 and 25 or 26 for that matter. The main age difference is probably a hair thing. You'll probably have more hair issues to deal with the older you are. But again, I don't think a couple years will make much difference.
Oooh, they don't know yet. I was living with my mum when I started. She took it well. Well, she took it well because of her upbringing, personality and her later studies. She studied sociology and became a social worker. OCD sounds 'interesting'.
Quote from: Nicolette on August 05, 2013, 12:32:57 PM
Oooh, they don't know yet. I was living with my mum when I started. She took it well. Well, she took it well because of her upbringing, personality and her later studies. She studied sociology and became a social worker. OCD sounds 'interesting'.
Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.
Quote from: Dreams2014 on August 05, 2013, 01:24:41 PM
Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.
I wouldn't say it's cowardly. But I would caution you to put a lot of thought into it before going down that path. Before I started my transition I rarely left the house - I have a job as a software developer and get to work from home and I've never been much on "going out" or anything. Part of my transition has been to get out more. I've found that little things such as going out to dinner with some friends or even to the store have done wonders for me, both from a mental standpoint and with regards to simple things such as observing mannerisms. Long term I truly believe I'm going to have a much easier time with things because of this rather than waiting until my "transition is complete".
I'm not trying to say that what you suggest isn't right for you - perhaps it is - I'm just saying I would really think about it hard before doing it.
Quote from: Dreams2014 on August 05, 2013, 01:24:41 PM
Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.
I stayed at home during transition. I had a great ally, a business partner who I told and who was ok with it. We both worked from our respective bedrooms until the business grew and I grew. By the time we could afford other employees and offices, I had fully transitioned and no-one was the wiser. Sounds like the same path you want to take. It's very feasible.
Quote from: Dreams2014 on August 05, 2013, 01:24:41 PM
Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.
You may pass better as a female by then but passing as a human could be trouble being locked away for so long, some might think you are a vampire.
Quote from: Madison Leigh on August 05, 2013, 01:36:02 PM
I wouldn't say it's cowardly. But I would caution you to put a lot of thought into it before going down that path. Before I started my transition I rarely left the house - I have a job as a software developer and get to work from home and I've never been much on "going out" or anything. Part of my transition has been to get out more. I've found that little things such as going out to dinner with some friends or even to the store have done wonders for me, both from a mental standpoint and with regards to simple things such as observing mannerisms. Long term I truly believe I'm going to have a much easier time with things because of this rather than waiting until my "transition is complete".
I'm not trying to say that what you suggest isn't right for you - perhaps it is - I'm just saying I would really think about it hard before doing it.
It's a valid point to make about observing mannerisms. But I have no desire to learn how to act like a woman, merely to be one physically, and my personality (and hormones) will decide what kind of woman I am. I can't imagine myself being traditionally girly, as I have no love for makeup or dresses. Probably a tomboy sort of gal :)
Quote from: CaseyB on August 05, 2013, 01:42:12 PM
You may pass better as a female by then but passing as a human could be trouble being locked away for so long, some might think you are a vampire.
As long as it's not a Twilight style vampire I think I'd be cool with that!
Quote from: Fitter Admin on August 05, 2013, 12:31:08 PM
There are a lot of myths (http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Hormones_:_Urban_Legends#Urban_Legend_.233:_The_younger_you_are.2C_the_better_you.27ll_do_.28FTM_and_MTF.29) and 'everybody knows' about HRT out there. The best time is before or during your first puberty. After that, genetics determine a lot. Someone could be 20 and have a less satisfactory result than someone 40 depending on genetics. Testosterone isn't an equal opportunity poisoner lol. Arguably, by 20 most the damage has already been done.
I really don't think there's much difference between 23 and 25 or 26 for that matter. The main age difference is probably a hair thing. You'll probably have more hair issues to deal with the older you are. But again, I don't think a couple years will make much difference.
I've never understood why the "myth" isn't true. For many genetic males, a huge amount of facial masculinization takes place somewhere in the mid to late 20's. If this can be avoided, I would call that a "better result."
Quote from: Horizon on August 05, 2013, 02:05:22 PM
Quote from: Fitter Admin on August 05, 2013, 12:31:08 PM
There are a lot of myths (http://t-vox.org/index.php?title=Hormones_:_Urban_Legends#Urban_Legend_.233:_The_younger_you_are.2C_the_better_you.27ll_do_.28FTM_and_MTF.29) and 'everybody knows' about HRT out there. The best time is before or during your first puberty. After that, genetics determine a lot. Someone could be 20 and have a less satisfactory result than someone 40 depending on genetics. Testosterone isn't an equal opportunity poisoner lol. Arguably, by 20 most the damage has already been done.
I really don't think there's much difference between 23 and 25 or 26 for that matter. The main age difference is probably a hair thing. You'll probably have more hair issues to deal with the older you are. But again, I don't think a couple years will make much difference.
I've never understood why the "myth" isn't true. For many genetic males, a huge amount of facial masculinization takes place somewhere in the mid to late 20's. If this can be avoided, I would call that a "better result."
I've never heard that. What kind of facial masculinization?
Hi doll. It is true that the sooner you start, the better off you'll be...
But...be patient. I'm going to be 43 next month. I started HRT in January 2012. It's going well. I couldn't have began transition at 20. Everything was stacked against me. But I never lost hope.
You'll be fine. Hang in there.
M.
Quote from: Dreams2014 on August 05, 2013, 01:24:41 PM
Tbh the plan is to move away, become financial stable enough to stay at home (I'm working on an online business) and basically lock myself away and not leave until transition is complete (except for doctors apointments and surgeries ofc). Some people might think that's cowardly, I don't think I could disagree. I'm not big on emotions and drama.
You remind me of myself a few months ago. I was 23 hoping to start hormones soon and wanted to get enough finances to be able to move and hide from society. In my case, that was a fantasy. I am now 24 and starting everything and feel glad. It's awkward to come out, but it needs to be done. Why not act now? I do understand wanting to be able to provide for yourself. If you can do so, then great, but be aware that this isn't the most welcoming economy for young recent college grads. If it's possible for you to transition at home, it may save you a lot of headaches and costs. Plus, you will have a support system right there for you. If not, you can always act on your plan when you are 24.
Quote from: learningtolive on August 07, 2013, 03:02:09 PM
You remind me of myself a few months ago. I was 23 hoping to start hormones soon and wanted to get enough finances to be able to move and hide from society. In my case, that was a fantasy. I am now 24 and starting everything and feel glad. It's awkward to come out, but it needs to be done. Why not act now? I do understand wanting to be able to provide for yourself. If you can do so, then great, but be aware that this isn't the most welcoming economy for young recent college grads. If it's possible for you to transition at home, it may save you a lot of headaches and costs. Plus, you will have a support system right there for you. If not, you can always act on your plan when you are 24.
Maybe. But my parents already deal with my OCD, which is tough enough. I ideally wanted to put many miles between myself and them before I told them about how I feel lol. We'll see how it plays out.
Quote from: Miss Bungle on August 07, 2013, 03:11:30 PM
Honestly, I don't think the starting early thing is all it is cracked up to be. I would say that genetics plays a larger role in this than anything else. I don't pay attention to studies because you can sway them to say whatever you wish at the end of the day. As long as you start rolling the transitional ball down the road, then that is all that matters. It isn't a big deal if it is 19, 39 or 69, just get going with it. No point in lamenting what you didn't do. Just do it now and move on.
Yep.
And to the OP, I really don't think a couple years are going to matter. 10? yeah maybe. But 23 to 25? People always like to draw lines of demarcation for various ages but 25 really isn't any different than 24. 25, 30, and 40 etc are not magic lines bestowing all kinds of things once crossed.
I think the only aspects which age matter for this past puberty are the hair ones. Receding hairlines and bald spots are pretty masculinizing. Another possible difference is you may be better able to grow a beard the older you are (again this is genetics). But I doubt a couple years will make much difference in either case.
I would just relax and get on HRT when you are able. The stress of worrying about it will probably make more difference in your looks than a year will.
Quote from: Fitter Admin on August 05, 2013, 02:28:25 PM
I've never understood why the "myth" isn't true. For many genetic males, a huge amount of facial masculinization takes place somewhere in the mid to late 20's. If this can be avoided, I would call that a "better result."
I've never heard that. What kind of facial masculinization?
None. That doesn't happen. Not that I've ever seen. The whole 25 thing is bizarre. Why 25? What happens then? No one ever answers this. It's all genetics. That being said I agree the earlier the better. Why suffer more?
I am 30 and I know a lot of people and no one looks much different or at all different between 25 and 30 or even 35. maybe a little more aged but nothing else. Maybe their face is fatter. Masculinization is done by 20. You do not grow after that. Ever. In fact, I looked less masculine at 29 then I did at 22. One reason for that: weight. I think this is a dangerous myth because it forces people into transition when they may not be ready.
But you are right fitter admin: I couldn't grow facial hair at 22 or even 25 but I can now. It's horrific. It's probably what pushed my dysphoria over the edge to where I had to transition as my androgny was dissapearing from beard shadow. My nose looks different too. But that's from being beat up three times.
Quote from: Fitter Admin on August 07, 2013, 05:14:42 PM
Yep.
And to the OP, I really don't think a couple years are going to matter. 10? yeah maybe. But 23 to 25? People always like to draw lines of demarcation for various ages but 25 really isn't any different than 24. 25, 30, and 40 etc are not magic lines bestowing all kinds of things once crossed.
I think the only aspects which age matter for this past puberty are the hair ones. Receding hairlines and bald spots are pretty masculinizing. Another possible difference is you may be better able to grow a beard the older you are (again this is genetics). But I doubt a couple years will make much difference in either case.
I would just relax and get on HRT when you are able. The stress of worrying about it will probably make more difference in your looks than a year will.
I agree with this. The only real benefit to doing it earlier is that you will reach your goal sooner. If I had waited another year, the end result probably would be the same. Yet, I couldn't wait another year. I gave up my dream of transitioning when I was 19 and waited till I was 24 to actually take action. Honestly, I sort of regret it. As much as I have enjoyed my life in those past 5 years, I always had the yearning to be myself. So a year isn't much in terms of results, but it is a long wait to remain patient. Having said that, if the op can wait it out for another year, it won't make a difference. If that will allow her to move forward and she can wait patiently until that time, then that sounds like a good plan. There is no use worrying about one year if your main concern is whether it will change your likeliness of passing. It's a non issue. The reasons to start earlier are more about getting to where you want to be. However, you need a way to get there , and taking the time may allow that to be possible. So do what's best for you and don't fret such a little amount of time.
I am 65+ and the avatar picture is little old me. I started E at 61, and can't pass for a day over 50. The best thing about my legal gender change on my DL is I can prove that this old trans broad is old enough for the senior citizens specials at restaurants.
Interesting, we all feel we are too old when we start.
I was at a seminar discussing the protocols to be used on children with GD, and the endo who is head of the group was asked if there was a big difference in outcome for kids going on blockers per puberty, during or post. His reply was the physical end result appeared little changed, but the emotional result was greater.
H
E then said that in pre puberty treated children 30 percent did not go on to gender reassignment, but went back to birth gender.
I was very surprised by that but he showed two studies one in australia and the other in holland.
im in the same boat as you
about to start college and need to find a job and im seeking help for social anxiety
im about to turn 19 too
but patience is a virtue really.. what else can you do
I'm staying optimistic that I can begin HRT before 25. It's something to aim for anyway. And hope keeps me going.
Quote from: Dreams2014 on August 08, 2013, 01:15:07 PM
I'm staying optimistic that I can begin HRT before 25. It's something to aim for anyway. And hope keeps me going.
Believe me, starting at 25 isn't a bad thing. You won't drastically change between now and then.
Quote from: learningtolive on August 08, 2013, 03:49:46 PM
Believe me, starting at 25 isn't a bad thing. You won't drastically change between now and then.
But I want to transition now! *throws hissy fit*
Quote from: Dreams2014 on August 08, 2013, 03:51:55 PM
But I want to transition now! *throws hissy fit*
I know EXACTLY how you feel hon. It's scary, you feel like you're turning into some hideous manly sasquatch every second that you aren't on hormones lol. At least I do.
I'm 18, and I want to start them ASAP because I'm young but since I don't have a dollar to my name I can't. Which is horrible because I have an informed consent clinic near me, it's a cruel tease. It's like that one scene from the movie Borat. "You will never get this! You will never get this! La la la la la!"
I'm having a group meeting with my depression therapist and my parents on the 20th, there's a slight possibility they might take me for hormones after they listen to my therapist.
Not being on hormones stresses me out all day and night most of the time, I usually can't sleep and usually have a panicked feeling.
Like others have said, your body isn't going to change much at all in the next few years. So calm down(:
If you want to make yourself feel better, try to avoid meat, it can raise testosterone. Drink things like tomato juice, spearmint tea, and black cohosh tea, they're rich in phytoestrogens, aka plant estrogens. Eat things like tofu, tomatoes, aples, cherries, plums, and pears. Also rich in phytoestrogens. Get an Ace bandage and wrap it around your waist a bit tightly (so it takes like an inch off your waist when you first start) and sleep with it on. Do so at your own risk.
I do all that, and frankly it's why I haven't had a nervous breakdown xD phytoestrogens don't do much at all but they personally give me some peace of mind. And my waist is quite a bit thinner.
Hang in theree! It will all be worth it once we get our hormones. If you'd like to message me for support since we're in a similar situation, feel free to(:
I didn't transition until I was 40. Back when I was 20 there was no public internet and no resources for eh fledgling T* person. So it took me another 20 years but I did it. Had SRS in 2001. Now live male/androgynous. Happy with my body, not so worried about how I dress.
I'm 23 and I'm also almost exactly in the same boat as you. However I'm not really worried about age. I've been researching and looking into transitioning for 4 years now and I have noticed a few constant things. First of all it seems that a persons over all health and personal hygiene has a huge impact on the results of HRT, to me it looks like people who are in shape and take better care of their bodies tend to get more favorable results.
Then it was mentioned that T really gives the face its manly appearance by the mid to late 20's, this could be true (could) but keep in mind that HRT should still have a fairly strong effect and combined with hair removal and some proper grooming of the face (maybe even a little make up) it seems like its still possible to produce a fairly feminine face. If your really that worried and all else fails then let me tell you about the miracle that is modern day plastic surgery and send you here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,180.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,180.0.html)
As far as mannerism is concerned, women have their own rules when it comes to how to act, passing requires more then just looks, you need to play by those rules or society will just pick up on you being different and treat you as such. I've seen plenty of bigger women who could be NFL linebackers be treated as women and not as linebackers simply because of their mannerism. I would suggest that you look into Contemporary Social Theory specifically searching for Symbolic Interaction Theory.
As for myself, I'm fairly certain that I'm trans but I can really use the next 2 or 3 years (before I'm financially on my own and can begin to explore transition) to be 100% sure that this is who I am and this is how I'm going to go about this.
Also here is a helpful website that depicts transition timelines (many of which are in their 20's and early 30's): http://www.->-bleeped-<-.com/r/transtimelines/ (//http:///r/transtimelines/)
I'm inclined to think differently from alot of you, Waiting is senseless generally nothing can be gained I transitioned reasonably young but I wish I could have done so sooner, Every year was a year of my life wasted in abject misery.
And yes alot of damage can be done between the ages of 18-25 At 18 I could cross-dress at night and on a good night I'd be vaguely passable. At 21... absolutely not.
Yes external interventions exist but they hurt are destructive and are SO expensive, I can understand if certain critical resources are completely out of your grasp for one reason or another but if you truly desire to transition with no ambiguity in your heart I can only encourage you to fight and try to escape with whatever resources you do have at your disposal. Even if others, including the transgender community shun you for utilizing these methods.