Well are schools homecoming dance is coming up, Know the only thing is, Is that most of my friends have a date and I don't want to be a third wheel, The problem is no girl I know would go with me atleast I don't think, I don't I guess it's kinda fustrating prom would be even worse for me because that's in may, An you really need a date then
My senior prom I didn't have a date so a few of us just went together as a group and I had a blast.
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Quote from: Darkie on September 13, 2013, 04:56:09 PM
My senior prom I didn't have a date so a few of us just went together as a group and I had a blast.
Well right know it's homecoming prom is not till may but I know most of my friends have a date for homecoming
You shouldn't be getting a girl just because you want to show off with your mates at an event. Just make a joke out of it and go with some people you actually want to be around.
Quote from: AlexanderC on September 13, 2013, 05:09:53 PM
You shouldn't be getting a girl just because you want to show off with your mates at an event. Just make a joke out of it and go with some people you actually want to be around.
No Ive wanted a date since my freshman year homecoming, I want a date because I'm tired of being the third wheel
Quote from: androidnick on September 13, 2013, 05:15:12 PM
You will find someone eventually but you probably shouldn't be taking a girl just cause you don't want to be third wheel. Just go and have fun. If your friends really make you feel like a third wheel them maybe reevaluate that friendship. But yeah who says you gotta go anyway? It really isn't that big a deal. I went and I could have lived without. Anyway just wait until you find a girl who you enjoy being around and ask her.
Homecoming is fun to me, Being the third wheel kinda sucks bcause I'm tired of seeing my friend and his girlfriend caped up, Plus everyone wants me to go because I missed winterfest last year, And they play slow music sometimes
Being the third wheel sucks, but it's not the end of the world. If you try and get a date just for the sake of not being the third wheel it isn't really fair on yourself or the girl. You'll just be lying to the both of you. I'm 18 and never had a date. You're still young, there's plenty of time for dates and the like. Go on your own and just have fun whilst you're young.
Why don't you just find a girl that you're friends with, who doesn't have a boyfriend, and ask her to go? I am sure there's girls out there in your school without a date that you get along with. Most girls aren't going to ask you, you have to ask them. No one is going to know that you're interested unless you ask.
And, if you can't find a girl, and you don't want to be a third wheel, you don't have to go to homecoming. (I never went to any of my school's homecoming dances. . . maybe it was because we had an awful football team. . . ::) I don't feel bad about not going now, and I didn't feel bad about not going then). For my junior prom, I went with a girl I was friend's with (we didn't go as a date, but because we were friends), and senior prom I went with a guy who I wasn't dating--it's more fun going with people who you're friends with instead of as a date.
Quote from: Joey. on September 13, 2013, 05:23:24 PM
Being the third wheel sucks, but it's not the end of the world. If you try and get a date just for the sake of not being the third wheel it isn't really fair on yourself or the girl. You'll just be lying to the both of you. I'm 18 and never had a date. You're still young, there's plenty of time for dates and the like. Go on your own and just have fun whilst you're young.
Its not just that I also want a girlfriend
Quote from: Joey. on September 13, 2013, 05:23:24 PM
Being the third wheel sucks, but it's not the end of the world. If you try and get a date just for the sake of not being the third wheel it isn't really fair on yourself or the girl. You'll just be lying to the both of you. I'm 18 and never had a date. You're still young, there's plenty of time for dates and the like. Go on your own and just have fun whilst you're young.
I understand what your saying but no one wants to be alone, My counselour even told me that, She told even though I'm young I'm still gonna have that want or need, especially seeing your fiends with their girlfriends
Quote from: androidnick on September 13, 2013, 05:27:21 PM
It sucks being lonely but generally when you go looking for things like a girlfriend you won't find one. It just needs to happen on its own
Yes Brandon, androidnick speaks the truth. When you look for love, you end up overseeing all the things that make you not compatible or you force yourself to change to fit in with someone else's desires, and it bites you in the butt later.
The girl for you will come along sooner or later. :)
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 13, 2013, 05:30:23 PM
Yes Brandon, androidnick speaks the truth. When you look for love, you end up overseeing all the things that make you not compatible or you force yourself to change to fit in with someone else's desires, and it bites you in the butt later.
The girl for you will come along sooner or later. :)
Yea I understand that
Quote from: androidnick on September 13, 2013, 05:31:28 PM
I know. No one, no matter what age they are wants to have someone. But again a relationship isn't something anyone can go out looking for. It just happens naturally. Unless you go on some dating website but I am assuming you are too young to even be in one.
Yes that's true
Quote from: Brandon on September 13, 2013, 05:29:01 PM
I understand what your saying but no one wants to be alone, My counselour even told me that, She told even though I'm young I'm still gonna have that want or need, especially seeing your fiends with their girlfriends
I know, being alone sucks, but there's really no rush. Focus on your education, then look for a girl. I'm sure there are plenty of other people going to homecoming alone, so you're not going to be the only one. Seeing people happy in a relationship when you're not it hurts like mad, but it can't be rushed. Somebody will come along when you least expect it. Go with a group of friends and have a laugh with them.
Quote from: Joey. on September 13, 2013, 05:35:55 PM
I know, being alone sucks, but there's really no rush. Focus on your education, then look for a girl. I'm sure there are plenty of other people going to homecoming alone, so you're not going to be the only one. Seeing people happy in a relationship when you're not it hurts like mad, but it can't be rushed. Somebody will come along when you least expect it. Go with a group of friends and have a laugh with them.
I'm not rushing, I've been waiting patiently, And I am focusing on my education I'm a Jr so I really don't have that much longer, I graduate in 1 year
As a matter of fact I don't talk about relationships or talk about them or let girls no how I feel because I fear rejection so I don't even bother, It's no use to m I do want a girlfriend though, But am I rushing it absoulutely not!
I wasn't accusing you of rushing. I understand your fear of rejection and that it is very real. What I'm saying is you're still young and you don't have to have a girlfriend during your school years, there's no requirement or anything. Don't feel pressured because of your friends being in relationships. If you want a girlfriend try being a bit more confident with them. Even if you're not confident and you're really scared, if you appear confident, it will help and girls will sense that. You have plenty of years ahead of you to find a nice girlfriend I just think you should enjoy your school years and if a girl comes along you like, try and get with her and see how it goes. A girl will come along when you least expect it, you just have to be confident it will happen, because it will.
Quote from: Joey. on September 13, 2013, 05:54:30 PM
I wasn't accusing you of rushing. I understand your fear of rejection and that it is very real. What I'm saying is you're still young and you don't have to have a girlfriend during your school years, there's no requirement or anything. Don't feel pressured because of your friends being in relationships. If you want a girlfriend try being a bit more confident with them. Even if you're not confident and you're really scared, if you appear confident, it will help and girls will sense that. You have plenty of years ahead of you to find a nice girlfriend I just think you should enjoy your school years and if a girl comes along you like, try and get with her and see how it goes. A girl will come along when you least expect it, you just have to be confident it will happen, because it will.
Its just me being transgender that makes me feel less confident about girls and relationships, And then on top of that I'm shy which makes everything worse
I know what you mean. You've probably heard the saying though 'people can only love you once you love yourself'. If you appear comfortable in your own skin, people will believe that and feel comfortable too. If you come across as shy and nervous then people will also feel that. It's all about body language. Like I said, if you appear confident, girls will feel confident too. Don't let people see that you're shy and nervous.
Quote from: Joey. on September 13, 2013, 06:07:44 PM
I know what you mean. You've probably heard the saying though 'people can only love you once you love yourself'. If you appear comfortable in your own skin, people will believe that and feel comfortable too. If you come across as shy and nervous then people will also feel that. It's all about body language. Like I said, if you appear confident, girls will feel confident too. Don't let people see that you're shy and nervous.
That's true, I try not to
It can be hard to work up the courage to talk to girls but if you put yourself out there people will respond. For me, personally, I still feel like I'm not in a place where I physically feel comfortable enough to be in a proper relationship. For me, that's not happening until I get top surgery. However, that doesn't mean I don't flirt. I've also gotten a few girl's numbers passed my way in bars and so on. That helps with confidence just knowing people are interested, but they're not aware I'm trans and that's where I get hung up myself.
Confidence is more an act than real anyway. Very few people have legit confidence without them being otherwise cocky, which isn't an admirable trait. The best way to appear confident is to imagine yourself as a confident person and then act it out. The only thing to watch for, obviously, is that slip to cocky.
However, I agree with what others have said here. Actively searching for a girlfriend just to have someone on your arm at homecoming isn't the way to look at it. You can go to homecoming in a group of folks or go with a guy or girl as two single friends. I went to prom with a group and there were some within that group that were dating, but not all. The idea was that even if folk were dating that we'd still stick as a group anyway. Maybe you can suggest that with your friends and add some other single girls and guys to the group to even it out so not everyone going is dating.
Either way, when thinking about dating or asking someone out, it should be for more than arm candy. You're still young so you can shop around a little but finding someone you have something in common with and there's a mutual respect for is the goal over just not wanting to be alone.
And the irony is that when you're desperate for something, you struggle to find it. And when you're not actively looking for it, it'll find you.
One of the hardest things for guys is to get the courage to talk to a girl and ask her out even just for a coffee. That BTW is a way to start with a girl you may be interested in. One of the most frustrating things for girls is to get a guy you are interested in to ask you to have that cup of coffee.
One thing about asking a girl out is that some will say no, but every time you try and you ask you get more confidence. And I may be old but I want a guy to be interested in me and not just want me as a trophy. Having a coffee or something is a nice way for me to feel comfortable with him for going on a future date.
Not many of us are keen to go out on a date with someone we don't know and who could be an axe-murderer :laugh:
Just try and relax and be a nice guy and girls will pick up on that.
I didn't go to mine, I doubt I truly missed anything. My friends went,not all had dates and they went in a group. I was told it sucked anyways so woohoo?
I went to a lot of parties instead of school-based events like homecoming and prom. It pissed off my relatives who said I'd regret it, but I had fun with people I actually liked and didn't have to worry about being single with. So I honestly don't regret it. Being able to hang out with people who don't make you feel like dirt is something valuable, not just in high school, but through adulthood as well. Now if you want to go to homecoming, all the more power to you. Not everyone will be going there with a date, and if you can push yourself out of your comfort zone, you can meet some nice girls there to talk and dance with. After all, I doubt everyone in your school with be going with a date, and some could just be planning on ditching. Who knows? Might not get you a girlfriend, but it opens doors and makes the experience less depressing.
Quote from: LearnedHand on September 13, 2013, 05:30:23 PM
Yes Brandon, androidnick speaks the truth. When you look for love, you end up overseeing all the things that make you not compatible or you force yourself to change to fit in with someone else's desires, and it bites you in the butt later.
just watch out for this. it bit my butt once. silly me didn't believe what the more experienced people told me.
still, sucks being without a date. ask the girls you know if they've gotten a date yet, and one of them hasn't, ask if she'd mind going with you. it doesn't have to be someone special, you're only going there to have fun.
Quote from: Exus on September 14, 2013, 06:39:43 AM
I didn't go to mine, I doubt I truly missed anything. My friends went,not all had dates and they went in a group. I was told it sucked anyways so woohoo?
Ive been to some of mine they are actually fun at my school, People from different schools come to mine thats how fun mine are
Quote from: Taka on September 14, 2013, 10:33:36 AM
just watch out for this. it bit my butt once. silly me didn't believe what the more experienced people told me.
still, sucks being without a date. ask the girls you know if they've gotten a date yet, and one of them hasn't, ask if she'd mind going with you. it doesn't have to be someone special, you're only going there to have fun.
True
Quote from: Cindy on September 14, 2013, 02:30:50 AM
One of the hardest things for guys is to get the courage to talk to a girl and ask her out even just for a coffee. That BTW is a way to start with a girl you may be interested in. One of the most frustrating things for girls is to get a guy you are interested in to ask you to have that cup of coffee.
One thing about asking a girl out is that some will say no, but every time you try and you ask you get more confidence. And I may be old but I want a guy to be interested in me and not just want me as a trophy. Having a coffee or something is a nice way for me to feel comfortable with him for going on a future date.
Not many of us are keen to go out on a date with someone we don't know and who could be an axe-murderer :laugh:
Just try and relax and be a nice guy and girls will pick up on that.
That is also true
I'm wearing a light pink dress shirt black vest and some dress pants with black dress shoes, What color tie should I wear Pink white and black or all black?
okay, then is there any specific girl you fancy who doesnt have a date yet? if there is, and if you really want a girl for the dance, you could ask her out. but if there's no such girl, say, like if you were a boy in the first place and were in the same situation, straining your mind with 'i want a girl! i want a girl!' thoughts won't be of any help. love doesn't come to us as soon as we expect or in ways we expect. there's THAT specific person made just for you somewhere, and you either have to wait in patience till the fate decides you two should meet, or go looking for her. and i think you are too young to give up waiting or to put extra effort into finding her. as for the question at hand, you might be able to ask out a girl as a friend, or go with a group of singles. no you don't have to be a third wheel. avoiding the party wouldn't hurt either. just don't be so impatient in finding your fiancee or you'll rush and will have to go through many unhappy relationships.
Quote from: YBtheOutlaw on September 15, 2013, 02:03:45 PM
okay, then is there any specific girl you fancy who doesnt have a date yet? if there is, and if you really want a girl for the dance, you could ask her out. but if there's no such girl, say, like if you were a boy in the first place and were in the same situation, straining your mind with 'i want a girl! i want a girl!' thoughts won't be of any help. love doesn't come to us as soon as we expect or in ways we expect. there's THAT specific person made just for you somewhere, and you either have to wait in patience till the fate decides you two should meet, or go looking for her. and i think you are too young to give up waiting or to put extra effort into finding her. as for the question at hand, you might be able to ask out a girl as a friend, or go with a group of singles. no you don't have to be a third wheel. avoiding the party wouldn't hurt either. just don't be so impatient in finding your fiancee or you'll rush and will have to go through many unhappy relationships.
I'm not rushing anything, I do want a gf but I'm not rushing,And I'm not that young, No to far from being 18, And Im gonna go instead of missing out, I just thought it would be nice to have a date
Again I'm not rushing I do want a gf but I'm no
Quote from: Brandon on September 15, 2013, 01:00:53 PM
I'm wearing a light pink dress shirt black vest and some dress pants with black dress shoes, What color tie should I wear Pink white and black or all black?
Wear a black tie - it will accent the pink shirt and complement the black vest.
Nice outfit. You know, if your mom is not making you get into a dress for homecoming and will see you in a tie and slacks, she might be better than you think on some of this.
Quote from: spacerace on September 15, 2013, 02:10:52 PM
Wear a black tie - it will accent the pink shirt and complement the black vest.
Nice outfit. You know, if your mom is not making you get into a dress for homecoming and will see you in a tie and slacks, she might be better than you think on some of this.
Well the good thing about it is she never really forces me to dress girly, Like she takes me to the men section to for shirts and what not, I think I might put the tie on when Im outside my dad is completely fine with me dressing in suits he took me last year to get mine
Quote from: Brandon on September 14, 2013, 12:22:03 PM
Ive been to some of mine they are actually fun at my school, People from different schools come to mine thats how fun mine are
Probably so but as an introverted person, I'm not a party person plus I wasn't that excited to pay $80 bucks and buy a suit for just one night. I had other priorities in my mind. I did in fact participated in our senior activities though. I found them fun since we went bowling, arcade places, played laser tag, go karts etc.. with my peers and close friends.
Quote from: Exus on September 15, 2013, 02:45:24 PM
Probably so but as an introverted person, I'm not a party person plus I wasn't that excited to pay $80 bucks and buy a suit for just one night. I had other priorities in my mind. I did in fact participated in our senior activities though. I found them fun since we went bowling, arcade places, played laser tag, go karts etc.. with my peers and close friends.
Well most of the guys come with vest on, Im saving a full suit for prom
Quote from: Brandon on September 15, 2013, 02:10:06 PM
I'm not rushing anything, I do want a gf but I'm not rushing,And I'm not that young, No to far from being 18, And Im gonna go instead of missing out, I just thought it would be nice to have a date
Again I'm not rushing I do want a gf but I'm no
alright lets forget the 'rushing' part. i'm also 18 and i've never had a gf. i had a huge crush on a girl in my class which ran for almost 4 years and i'm still recovering from it. you know, i was having hell of a time not being able to tell her how i felt about her. once i dreamt her kissing me and the next day she happened to sit beside me in the chemistry lab and i was like... oh i can't believe i managed to restrain my feelings that day. so relationships is one of the many challenges we face as trans guys and we must combat them with strategy, determination and self control. good luck in finding a girl and don't feel down if you don't.
Quote from: YBtheOutlaw on September 15, 2013, 02:51:25 PM
alright lets forget the 'rushing' part. i'm also 18 and i've never had a gf. i had a huge crush on a girl in my class which ran for almost 4 years and i'm still recovering from it. you know, i was having hell of a time not being able to tell her how i felt about her. once i dreamt her kissing me and the next day she happened to sit beside me in the chemistry lab and i was like... oh i can't believe i managed to restrain my feelings that day. so relationships is one of the many challenges we face as trans guys and we must combat them with strategy, determination and self control. good luck in finding a girl and don't feel down if you don't.
Im sure I will, And yea its difficult
Quote from: YBtheOutlaw on September 15, 2013, 02:51:25 PM
alright lets forget the 'rushing' part. i'm also 18 and i've never had a gf. i had a huge crush on a girl in my class which ran for almost 4 years and i'm still recovering from it. you know, i was having hell of a time not being able to tell her how i felt about her. once i dreamt her kissing me and the next day she happened to sit beside me in the chemistry lab and i was like... oh i can't believe i managed to restrain my feelings that day. so relationships is one of the many challenges we face as trans guys and we must combat them with strategy, determination and self control. good luck in finding a girl and don't feel down if you don't.
I know the feel man, I liked this one best friend I had since we both were in 7th grade and never told her. Even after high school but I let it go, dated other chicks and atm I have a girl who's really wonderful.
Quote from: Exus on September 15, 2013, 04:56:01 PM
I know the feel man, I liked this one best friend I had since we both were in 7th grade and never told her. Even after high school but I let it go, dated other chicks and atm I have a girl who's really wonderful.
Ive done that to, With two girls, It was bad
I would wear a tie with both pink and black in it, or with combinations of pink and grey and black. One classic purpose of a tie, at least in modern times, is to "tie" your clothing colors together. But think of it this way. If you choose a tie of one color, a pink tie will probably just blend into your pink shirt. A black tie will sort of disappear into your black vest. If you can find an all-pink tie that is considerably darker or lighter than your shirt, that might work. But a black tie with a black vest, in my opinion, is a bad combination. When I wore vests, I never wore a one-color tie that matched the vest. In fact, I had such a combination once and never wore it because it looked odd. ETA: In classic movies, Cary Grant can pull off a grey tie and a grey suit because he goes for different shades of grey. But black doesn't really have shades, does it?
The best way to be sure is to try it out. If you need to buy a tie, wear your stuff when you go out shopping. If you like the way something looks, go for it.
You said that people from other schools go to your dances. Is there any chance of asking a girl from another school, or a girl that you know socially who doesn't go to your school?
Quote from: Arch on September 15, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
I would wear a tie with both pink and black in it, or with combinations of pink and grey and black. One classic purpose of a tie, at least in modern times, is to "tie" your clothing colors together. But think of it this way. If you choose a tie of one color, a pink tie will probably just blend into your pink shirt. A black tie will sort of disappear into your black vest. If you can find an all-pink tie that is considerably darker or lighter than your shirt, that might work. But a black tie with a black vest, in my opinion, is a bad combination. When I wore vests, I never wore a one-color tie that matched the vest. In fact, I had such a combination once and never wore it because it looked odd. ETA: In classic movies, Cary Grant can pull off a grey tie and a grey suit because he goes for different shades of grey. But black doesn't really have shades, does it?
The best way to be sure is to try it out. If you need to buy a tie, wear your stuff when you go out shopping. If you like the way something looks, go for it.
You said that people from other schools go to your dances. Is there any chance of asking a girl from another school, or a girl that you know socially who doesn't go to your school?
See that's is what I was thinking with the black and pink tie, I wanted different colors on my tie. I was thinking about asking my other friend who goes to another school, She's really nice
Quote from: Arch on September 15, 2013, 05:43:22 PM
I would wear a tie with both pink and black in it, or with combinations of pink and grey and black. One classic purpose of a tie, at least in modern times, is to "tie" your clothing colors together. But think of it this way. If you choose a tie of one color, a pink tie will probably just blend into your pink shirt. A black tie will sort of disappear into your black vest. If you can find an all-pink tie that is considerably darker or lighter than your shirt, that might work. But a black tie with a black vest, in my opinion, is a bad combination. When I wore vests, I never wore a one-color tie that matched the vest. In fact, I had such a combination once and never wore it because it looked odd. ETA: In classic movies, Cary Grant can pull off a grey tie and a grey suit because he goes for different shades of grey. But black doesn't really have shades, does it?
One exception to this is a white tie/white vest combination in my opinion.