I just got back from a week in the psychiatric hospital... Not because people think i'm crazy or anything, but because I felt like committing suicide last week. I just got overwealmed with the fact that it will cost me $50,000+ for me to become my true self. I mean, I could buy a car for less than that! I know its a process and all but Its still pretty depressing to look at how much money it will cost...
I know its pretty comman for those who have GID to get suicidal thoughts... and I want to be able to cope. I'm on medication at the moment (Luvox) but i'm afraid that one day I might get so depressed that the medication won't help... Does anyone have any strategies to help me cope with the fact that this will be a long road to becoming a true female?
I wish I knew.
Jessica
You and me both. I just got out of the psych ward as well. Those meds may help, give them time. Mine still haven't helped but I'm trying to be patient. It may take a few meds before they find the right one. Wish I had advice :\. Just think of where you'll be after transition..living your dream. Pm me if you wanna talk.
-Matt
You know, when I was going through all this, I never thought about the final price tag. It never worried me. I just knew that would fall into place somehow. I knew I could work hard and I knew how to live cheaply.
It was all the other crap that put me in the looney bin!
Cindi
I don't know about anyone else and I'm not exactly capable of transition, being what I am, but I have to say that the best thing I've found to distract me from my depression related to gender is having people I can talk to. I'm so, so thankful for having Sophia and Error this past week or I would not be here. Just having someone to talk to is best. I'm a long way off from any help and sometimes it seems hopeless. Having someone else, even if it is just online a lot, because Sophie and Err and I don't live together yet, helps.
I think that having people who won't give up even when you do and want to makes it much, much easier to come back from that hole of wanting to give up.
Quote from: Chandra21 on June 21, 2007, 01:43:20 PM
I just got back from a week in the psychiatric hospital... Not because people think i'm crazy or anything, but because I felt like committing suicide last week. I just got overwealmed with the fact that it will cost me $50,000+ for me to become my true self. I mean, I could buy a car for less than that! I know its a process and all but Its still pretty depressing to look at how much
Does anyone have any strategies to help me cope with the fact that this will be a long road to becoming a true female?
While some ts' don't have to spend near the much, since a fair chunk of the cost is facial and other cosmetic surgeries, and it's hard to listen to them as they announce their costs (far less because they didn't "need" ffs or other surgeries) and the relative "ease" of their transistion (ie, easily passable or blendable into the norm), the reality is that it is expensive, normally about $50K and upwards for some. This is especially true for those who start later in life where the choices are find and spend the money or accept the realities of your being. I suspect most choose the latter.
The key is looking longterm and find a way to fit the money in the budget. This often means saving or paying back a loan for 7-10 years after all is said and done. It's as they say, the elephant in the room, and you have to mentally accept and deal with it. And be aware the many are on your side, travelling the same road. That's not much comfort at times because it feels lonely, but keeping asking yourself, what are the alternatives?
As I keep telling my therapist about my transistion, "I'm not stopping or turning around, I'm just going slower than most to have a life and fit everything in as I go." As my therapist says, sometimes time is a good thing, the changes become more embedded and innate, and the transistion easier to accept and deal with.
Good luck and take care.
--Susan--
The truth is the younger you are the sooner you transition, the fewer the costs, but the more difficult those significant costs are to pay. I will probably go full time in a little less than a year within my first therapy appointment. Why? Because I am still young. It does take longer and cost more to transition later in life.
Honestly the costs for me are steep in my universe, but I try not to think of everything. I just move along because I need to the costs I will be able to handle, this is a long term proccess.
The truth is the younger you transition the less likely you will need FFS surgery. I am personally skipping out on it. HRT will probably be enough.
But that does not mean my costs are not significant. You are still talking about tens of thousands of dollars in hair removal, therapy, SRS surgery, and probably in my case, hair transplants (which no qualified place will do on somebody transgender until over the age of 30 and post-op/post-orchi).
"Do what you love, the money will follow"
Luckily, with the exception of some big-ticket items, many of the transition expenses are on the installment plan.
I've already spent over $30-grand on things I can directly attribute to transition -- $8K on electro, $3K on meds, $4.5K on therapy, and $6K on clothing...
If your funds are limited, you'll get what you need most with the money you have, and put off the other purchases 'till later. You may have to slow down, but you can still keep your eye on the goal and progress when you can.
Karen
So many people manage to buy SUV's. Pretend that you are buying one of those!
Yeah, like I could afford one.....
I don't know how I managed. I really don't. I go back through my journals and I can't imagine how I survived that experience. I was very focused and transition was the most important expense after sending my child support check. I even put it above food in priority.
Cindi
Quote from: Amy T. on June 22, 2007, 01:23:12 PM
The truth is the younger you are the sooner you transition, the fewer the costs, but the more difficult those significant costs are to pay. I will probably go full time in a little less than a year within my first therapy appointment. Why? Because I am still young. It does take longer and cost more to transition later in life.
Honestly the costs for me are steep in my universe, but I try not to think of everything. I just move along because I need to the costs I will be able to handle, this is a long term proccess.
The truth is the younger you transition the less likely you will need FFS surgery. I am personally skipping out on it. HRT will probably be enough.
But that does not mean my costs are not significant. You are still talking about tens of thousands of dollars in hair removal, therapy, SRS surgery, and probably in my case, hair transplants (which no qualified place will do on somebody transgender until over the age of 30 and post-op/post-orchi).
It's right to start young but most of us started young. Unfortunitely when I started we didn't have the help or support you may have now. The internet didn't exist, so it was harder for me in the mid 1980's when I wanted to transition.
22 years on and not much progress has been made even though I have been full time for many years but I still haven't been able to access a treatment program or the treatment I need. I'm in the U.K and it's expensive and difficult to locate the right surgeons. We have a terrible NHS system I ended being in for 7 years which becomes a hazard rather than a solution and the best option is to travel overseas to the U.S, Brazil or thailand to access treatment.
I've felt suicidal on many occasions and I am shocked by the timescale and how much of my life has been lost. I wanted to transition at 16 but I didn't know where to get hormones from or where to go in those days. I 'm in tears an awful lot but I'm just about holding it together...
:'( :'(
Too much resonance....
Speaking in the spirit of love, compassion and empathy [my Lord, way too much], bear in mind that the state of mind leading to arriving at the point, destroys an accurate perception of reality and facilitates a....negative and grossly distorted...prediction of your future.
You can't predict the future; none of us can, hon and there is great danger in making the attempt, especially possessed of such a distressed state of mind.
That state of mind also seems to function as a 'filter' if you will - a filter which effectively screens out reality and the positive and good things in and about your life.
I know. I have nearly crossed over that threshold far too many times in my life. And as I write these words to you, I find myself grateful that I never did succeed in executing the 'final option'.
Things which seemed hopeless or impossible for me transitionally, came to fruition and realization.
You would think that given my half of a century on the planet and my Christian faith, that I would know better and accordingly would not have issues with this, but no.
No, I am weak and all too imperfect.
But having said that, consider what I have said here, for it is truth and it emanates from a woman who knows first hand.
Quote from: Rhonda on June 23, 2007, 07:50:33 AM
:'( :'(
Too much resonance....
Speaking in the spirit of love, compassion and empathy [my Lord, way too much], bear in mind that the state of mind leading to arriving at the point, destroys an accurate perception of reality and facilitates a....negative and grossly distorted...prediction of your future.
You can't predict the future; none of us can, hon and there is great danger in making the attempt, especially possessed of such a distressed state of mind.
That state of mind also seems to function as a 'filter' if you will - a filter which effectively screens out reality and the positive and good things in and about your life.
I know. I have nearly crossed over that threshold far too many times in my life. And as I write these words to you, I find myself grateful that I never did succeed in executing the 'final option'.
Things which seemed hopeless or impossible for me transitionally, came to fruition and realization.
You would think that given my half of a century on the planet and my Christian faith, that I would know better and accordingly would not have issues with this, but no.
No, I am weak and all too imperfect.
But having said that, consider what I have said here, for it is truth and it emanates from a woman who knows first hand.
Rhonda, it's not clear what you are trying to say? and what things do you know about? Please specify? I've been in the loop for most of my life and have experienced quite a lot of things and I've no idea what you are trying to say. Most people get suicidal because they can't get from point A to point B for whatever reason, fanancially, location, availability or other pressure's.....
I agree sometimes people can be dillusional through the medication they are takking and some hormones have unbalanced effects on the mind but in the majority of cases it's just frustration....
Quote from: Berliegh on June 23, 2007, 09:15:52 AM
Quote from: Rhonda on June 23, 2007, 07:50:33 AM
:'( :'(
Too much resonance....
Speaking in the spirit of love, compassion and empathy [my Lord, way too much], bear in mind that the state of mind leading to arriving at the point, destroys an accurate perception of reality and facilitates a....negative and grossly distorted...prediction of your future.
You can't predict the future; none of us can, hon and there is great danger in making the attempt, especially possessed of such a distressed state of mind.
That state of mind also seems to function as a 'filter' if you will - a filter which effectively screens out reality and the positive and good things in and about your life.
I know. I have nearly crossed over that threshold far too many times in my life. And as I write these words to you, I find myself grateful that I never did succeed in executing the 'final option'.
Things which seemed hopeless or impossible for me transitionally, came to fruition and realization.
You would think that given my half of a century on the planet and my Christian faith, that I would know better and accordingly would not have issues with this, but no.
No, I am weak and all too imperfect.
But having said that, consider what I have said here, for it is truth and it emanates from a woman who knows first hand.
Rhonda, it's not clear what you are trying to say? and what things do you know about? Please specify? I've been in the loop for most of my life and have experienced quite a lot of things and I've no idea what you are trying to say. Most people get suicidal because they can't get from point A to point B for whatever reason, fanancially, location, availability or other pressure's.....
I agree sometimes people can be dillusional through the medication they are takking and some hormones have unbalanced effects on the mind but in the majority of cases it's just frustration....
More later honey...
I just read something that made me cry. :'( :'( :'(
My Lord, the tragedy of it all.... :'( :'( :'( :'(
Quote from: Rhonda on June 23, 2007, 11:59:19 AM
More later honey...
I just read something that made me cry. :'( :'( :'(
My Lord, the tragedy of it all.... :'( :'( :'( :'(
What does that mean. You tend to talk in riddles and quote religion. How about directness and answers to peoples questions Rhonda?
Quote from: Berliegh on June 25, 2007, 04:01:50 AM
Quote from: Rhonda on June 23, 2007, 11:59:19 AM
More later honey...
I just read something that made me cry. :'( :'( :'(
My Lord, the tragedy of it all.... :'( :'( :'( :'(
What does that mean. You tend to talk in riddles and quote religion. How about directness and answers to peoples questions Rhonda?
This subject is sensitive to me.
Very sensitive.
I still still keep a 12 gauge loaded with one rifled slug round in the bedroom; only one round is needed.
Last summer, I was pulling the trigger of a 9mm automatic with the muzzle placed against my temple, when a sister called me on my cell, just before the hammer released.
I suppose that it's a good thing that my reaction time has vastly improved secondary to hrt - but in another sense, perhaps it isn't.
Ya ever been at that point Berleigh?
And the general causative factors were TS and transition.
Know what I mean?
And the stuff that TS induced pressure drove; you'd be absolutely shocked if i told you the things that i have done, because of its merciless harassment and intolerability.....
i'm quite the object of astonishment and amazement with the local medical community and i'll not be explicit about it here, for it would grossly exceed forum decorum and propriety.
i know
exactly what you are talking about, dear and what
i did i would never recommend to anyone else.
its been a bitch, its been a
real bitch.
reread cindi's posts. do not make the mistake of looking at the whole picture all at once as a
whole and....being devastated by the
seeming impossibility of it all being accomplished.
i think that it's safe to state that
very few of us have the resources by which to quickly execute the process of physical correction. in forums such as this one, it's easy to come to that errant supposition; i've made that mistake before and thereby induced much unnecessary pain and agony in myself.
but what should i expect? this is a concentrated group of ts women and men and it being such, i will naturally see many successes and personal 'victories', relative to surgical correction.
what i
don't see is the oft horrendous struggles that these had to endure in the process of reaching that point, both financial and personal.
also, there are some things that i avoid like the proverbial plague, because i know from experience that they will create problems for me. generally, anything that involves GRS is avoided, for example.
i can't even look at a photo of a post-op vagina without either degenerating into bitter tears or a searing rage.
reread cindi's posts.
but then, sometimes things would happen for me transitionally and i would find myself amazed or even shocked, because
ostensibly they seemed to be impossibilities...
the recent breast augmentation for instance. one day it became possible to accomplish that correction and i was astounded.
it's a possibly fatal mistake to consider the
whole finished product all at once and then to deem it as impossible to accomplish or attain.
life doesn't work that way.
Quote from: Rhonda on June 25, 2007, 06:54:57 AM
reread cindi's posts. do not make the mistake of looking at the whole picture all at once as a whole and....being devastated by the seeming impossibility of it all being accomplished.
i think that it's safe to state that very few of us have the resources by which to quickly execute the process of physical correction. in forums such as this one, it's easy to come to that errant supposition; i've made that mistake before and thereby induced much unnecessary pain and agony in myself.
Right! Recently I thought time was running out, and that everything had to be done at once, as I lost a good 10-15 years. As long as I progress daily, then things aren't turning out as bad. I set a destructive ultimatum for myself, it I'm not complete by a certain age, that was it. I've all but totally relaxed that rule. I'm saving up for FFS, which will make (not break) me. That won't be done anytime soon, maybe next year, I have to finish electrolosys first. You just have to be positive.
Nigella,
:icon_hug:
Alice
Quote from: Alice on June 28, 2007, 05:45:53 PM
Nigella,
:icon_hug:
Alice
One from me too Nigella
:icon_hug:
Debbie
Actually in the US, most do not start young. It is not until recent years and the dawn of the internet has the average age of transitioners fallen significantly.
At 28, in the US, I am considered young transitioner. The under 30 set here is still outnumbered by those transitioning in their forties and fifties and sixties, in significant numbers.
Those transitioning very young (under 19) has gone up significantly in the US in recent years. But this is a RECENT occurance, and those transitioning while rapidly increasing, is still a subset.
A big barrier to transitioning, is always money, and support. The young ones only recently had any real support.
Quote from: Chandra21 on June 21, 2007, 01:43:20 PM
I just got back from a week in the psychiatric hospital... Not because people think i'm crazy or anything, but because I felt like committing suicide last week. I just got overwealmed with the fact that it will cost me $50,000+ for me to become my true self. I mean, I could buy a car for less than that! I know its a process and all but Its still pretty depressing to look at how much money it will cost...
I know its pretty comman for those who have GID to get suicidal thoughts... and I want to be able to cope. I'm on medication at the moment (Luvox) but i'm afraid that one day I might get so depressed that the medication won't help... Does anyone have any strategies to help me cope with the fact that this will be a long road to becoming a true female?
I am in the same situation here except the fact that they won't put me in hospital just for saying that I want to commit suicide. I'm into depression since february and I have been desperately trying to find someone who will help me cope with my GID issues as well. I have made it to letter for HRT, but my endo says that it's gonna cost me
250$ per month for HRT! I was so so shocked to hear that because I know that in UK it is about 60 - 100$ and my country (Latvia) is in Europe too, so the difference shouldn't be that big.
I realise that I must find a job and simply put off transition for some time, but I'm only 19 and I have to finish my studies as well. My mum earns like 650$ per month and I don't want us starving just to get meds. I have no other family relatives to support us. Above all I'm depressed and feeling so helpless, I doubt I could even work as a sales girl.
I don't know why it should cost so much, maybe in your case, since you have a prescription, you could order from the internet. It shouldn't cost you more than $50 a month, possibly less if you find the correct sites.
$250 a month is outrageous considering the amount of money people make on average per month.
Quote from: Keira on July 01, 2007, 08:23:19 AM
I don't know why it should cost so much, maybe in your case, since you have a prescription, you could order from the internet. It shouldn't cost you more than $50 a month, possibly less if you find the correct sites.
$250 a month is outrageous considering the amount of money people make on average per month.
You're right; it's outrageous.
I suggested the same option to her.
Quote from: Amy T. on June 29, 2007, 03:01:57 PM
Actually in the US, most do not start young. It is not until recent years and the dawn of the internet has the average age of transitioners fallen significantly.
At 28, in the US, I am considered young transitioner. The under 30 set here is still outnumbered by those transitioning in their forties and fifties and sixties, in significant numbers.
Those transitioning very young (under 19) has gone up significantly in the US in recent years. But this is a RECENT occurance, and those transitioning while rapidly increasing, is still a subset.
A big barrier to transitioning, is always money, and support. The young ones only recently had any real support.
It's the same in any country as to regards to finding money and support. I would think 28 was quite young and when I was 28 the internet didn't exist. Usually it takes a long time here in the U.K to fight through the barrage of psychiatry and psychobabble in order to access a clear route to some form of treatment. I've had to do it as and when I have the money which isn't often and I have been quite depressed at how long it's taken. I do panic sometimes and get upset at the lack of progression and support and I have felt suicidal on occasions. I usually cry for an hour and then I feel a bit better afterwards. To get from A to B isn't easy as you first imagine and any preconceptions of going through the process in 18 months have gone right out the window now that I'm in my 8th year of full time transition....and still no where near the finishing post..
Quote from: Nigella on June 28, 2007, 03:32:51 PM
Hi all,
Just a post as I have taken my topics and pic of the site. ...
hugs and kisses
Nigella
I received an email from Nigella today. She sends her regards "to the girls".
I thought you'd want to know.
Debbie
Glad to see your face Nigella. I wish I could show you my face and then you'd see how far you along you are compared to me. ;D
You look wonderful!!!
Debbie
P.S I have job interview on the 16th of this month and then, hopefully, a follow up interview later in July. If this all works out I will be free to share more about myself and a picture, just like all of you very beautiful ladies.
Quote from: Kiera on July 03, 2007, 04:12:50 PM
Quote from: Chandra21 on June 21, 2007, 01:43:20 PMI mean, I could buy a car for less than that!
Gee Chandra, when you look at it that way, giving up one really nice ride would be a very small price to pay I'd think for a lifetime of happiness!! You sure you can handle it? The happiness that is . . . ;D
Humor about things can be a good road to recovery, ya know.
Put it in gear and get going now (as it's never too late),
Love :icon_bunch:
Thats true...
I figure now that so many people save up for a nice car, since they're all over the streets polluting the air, so it shouldn't be too hard to become who I should be if I put my mind to it. ^_^