Hi, folks.
It's not too often I make threads here, since for the most part I don't have much of interest to say. However, something has been playing on my mind recently and I am starting to wonder if I'm alone in this (i.e slowly going round the twist), or if anyone else experiences something similar.
As the title suggests, I am a creature of emotion, and intuition. A lot of things I do, and say, come from an emotional basis. I tend to feel my way forward in life, rather than being one of life's great thinkers. One of the side effects of this, maybe, is that I tend to pick up certain... feelings from other people. I don't really know any other way to describe this. I don't know whether one would call it a vibe, or an aura, or... whether there's some other term for it. It's not even so much a feeling as a... snapshot of a person.
Hmm... I'm not doing a good job of explaining this. Okay... when I read the posts from people here, and listen to people IRL, I am starting to feel like I pick up varying degrees of... something. And this is the part I'm not sure about. I hesitate to call it a male or female energy, but that's the closest I can approximate it to. I don't know whether to call it masculine and feminine, or male and female. I cannot work out which it is. But it's definitely something along those lines. And having said that, there are people from whom I get a very distinct feeling of both, and neither.
The thing is, it has nothing to do with the contents of the posts, or even the way they're written. It's an intangible... something. Something which, were I to meet that person, I would say with certainty "This is a woman." or "This is a man", or "This is a non-binary gendered person". And the more I am exposed to this, the stronger it becomes.
I won't mention any names, but there are people here who portray those feelings to me in very strong terms. And those who do so to a lesser degree. I wonder if that's a sign of how strongly they embody themselves, or something else. I really don't know. I just find it interesting and wonder if I am losing my marbles, or if there are others who also pick up on this.
maybe you've got some medium ness in you :)
Even though I'm afraid to ask, what do you pick up from me?
Me too :) I won't feel bad... I know I'm in my exploration, trying to figure out who I am as a woman.
I think there are tons of subconcious clues, from language used to body language. I also think lots of these will be androgynous or closer to our assigned gender - especially for those of us transitioning later in life.
Maybe you just have a heightened sense of empathy?
Count me in as wondering! Sometimes I read one of my posts and realize it sounds like Mike, not Devlyn
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 16, 2013, 11:18:43 AM
Count me in as wondering! Sometimes I read one of my posts and realize it sounds like Mike, not Devlyn
Me too! I feel as though I write too technically. How do I fix that? I do try.
You're probably a empath.
Getting gendered energy from reading posts though? You sure you're just not making unconscious assumptions based on their writing style? Their pcture? ...their gender marker, lol?
When it comes to putting much of any stock in one's intuition I recommend they learn a few discernment techniques to rule out messages they might not want to be listening to.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on October 16, 2013, 11:18:43 AM
Count me in as wondering! Sometimes I read one of my posts and realize it sounds like Mike, not Devlyn
:) I like your new avatar ;D beautiful as always
I always read you as devlyn
There is, in my opinion, definitely something to this. I am an empath, to such a degree that I can feel the pain in other people as if it was my own if I am not careful to distance myself.
I can't explain this, physically. There are a lot of explanations metaphysically, but not one so far that is reproducible in a controlled environment. The closest I can get is that the subconscious can pick up on cues that the conscious does not, and can communicate these perceptions as feelings (according to some theories, the conscious mind is the analytical bit and the subconscious is the emotional bit... we're aware of our conscious thoughts and our subconscious tells us how we feel about them). Highly intuitive people may just be more in touch with their subconscious.
I kind of think of it in terms of computers. On a modern computer, the processor "thinks" on different levels; one level runs programs ("thinks" consciously), one level handles input and output ("senses" and "communicates"), and another, completely hidden from everything, monitors the processor itself so it can run more efficiently (monitors temperature, workload, etc). These things all happen pretty much simultaneously. The hidden layer doesn't communicate with the processing layer or the communication layer, but it can have a big effect on their performance. This is kind of like the subconscious and conscious processes in the human brain. At least, that's the best I can figure.
Hope that helps! (and, by the way, my brain "felt" like my default mode expressing this... wondering though how that is perceived... :))
Okay, I'm not going to tell you what I pick up from you all, lol. For one thing you might think I'm telling you what you want to hear, or you may be hurt by it, or something else. I'm just not going there.
I was just wondering if I'm the only one who picks up things like this. I hope not, or I might have to get a check up from the neck up, as it were.
Lo, you have a point. I may very well be doing that. I don't know. Occasionally, with some people, however, the gender marker, or avatar, and even writing style is at odds with the feelings I get. I really don't know. I'm sure there are plenty of things I don't want to be listening to, lol.
Robin, that's more what I was after. Whether there are others who feel somewhat similar. Maybe it is a subconscious thing. Maybe you're right. I just find it really interesting how much we're aware of without knowing why we're aware of it.
Quote from: Lo on October 16, 2013, 11:27:34 AM
You're probably a empath.
Getting gendered energy from reading posts though? You sure you're just not making unconscious assumptions based on their writing style? Their pcture? ...their gender marker, lol?
When it comes to putting much of any stock in one's intuition I recommend they learn a few discernment techniques to rule out messages they might not want to be listening to.
^This
^The mind/soul is not tied to the Internet, though...somehow your eyes (reading the text) are connecting with the author on a different plane than we--our bodies--are on.
And yeah, learn to discern.
:)
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 11:36:09 AM
Okay, I'm not going to tell you what I pick up from you all, lol. For one thing you might think I'm telling you what you want to hear, or you may be hurt by it, or something else. I'm just not going there.
I was just wondering if I'm the only one who picks up things like this. I hope not, or I might have to get a check up from the neck up, as it were.
Lo, you have a point. I may very well be doing that. I don't know. Occasionally, with some people, however, the gender marker, or avatar, and even writing style is at odds with the feelings I get. I really don't know. I'm sure there are plenty of things I don't want to be listening to, lol.
Robin, that's more what I was after. Whether there are others who feel somewhat similar. Maybe it is a subconscious thing. Maybe you're right. I just find it really interesting how much we're aware of without knowing why we're aware of it.
Awwww.... ;)
I think the subconscious cues we get are really interesting. They're there but they're subtle. I have a feeling some people might get different vibes from different people, too. Plus, most of us here are changing... hormones, conscious attempts to change, etc. Collectively we have a lot of flux and we probably also key off each other in our changes.
Honestly, I don't know.
It's confusing, to be honest. I tend to distance myself from a lot of things, mainly because it's easy to get overwhelmed by a multitude of emotion at once. It's like being hit by a freight train sometimes. I have no explanation for it, I really don't. For all I know, my mind is making connections from something I see, or saw at some point. Something I have long since forgotten about. I just find it interesting how pervasive these feelings are, and how certain they sometimes are.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 11:50:43 AM
Honestly, I don't know.
It's confusing, to be honest. I tend to distance myself from a lot of things, mainly because it's easy to get overwhelmed by a multitude of emotion at once. It's like being hit by a freight train sometimes. I have no explanation for it, I really don't. For all I know, my mind is making connections from something I see, or saw at some point. Something I have long since forgotten about. I just find it interesting how pervasive these feelings are, and how certain they sometimes are.
I think you're very people focused. You often see certain individuals on Susan's or in real life and are able to connect various things they've written or said, and how they said them, and can connect those things to make an impression. You're very emotive and caring (clearly ;) you won't tell us
our fortunes because you don't want to hurt us! ;)). It is a gift you have.
I've gotten more emotive and emotional since coming out. This is something I repressed completely before. I love it, and it probably pales next to the emotion you have!
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 11:50:43 AM
Honestly, I don't know.
It's confusing, to be honest. I tend to distance myself from a lot of things, mainly because it's easy to get overwhelmed by a multitude of emotion at once. It's like being hit by a freight train sometimes. I have no explanation for it, I really don't. For all I know, my mind is making connections from something I see, or saw at some point. Something I have long since forgotten about. I just find it interesting how pervasive these feelings are, and how certain they sometimes are.
Again, no scientific explanation, but learning two metaphysical techniques, namely "grounding" and "shielding" helped me. I used to get completely overwhelmed in public spaces, particularly when the crowd had heightened emotions (such as at a concert or a parade). Going into a Wal-mart could wreck my day, so much despair there.
In grounding, I learned to meditate, to focus on calming energy filling me from the ground up and washing anxiety and icky stuff away. I got to where I could do that standing up and walking around. Very handy (although not a cure-all)
In shielding I learned to visualize a barrier between me and the rest of the world, a "bubble" of sorts, fueled by the energy I gained from grounding.
The calming benefits of meditation *have* been scientifically documented, and have been verified to persist hours or even days after actively meditating, so at least that much has some scientific backing for those who need it.
From my personal experience, Sephira, these techniques can help. I hope they help you... it sounds like you are like I was, an untrained, extremely sensitive empath in a world filled with a bewildering array of loud emotions/feelings. Remember, you can also lower your shields at need, so you can retain your sensitivity.
*hugs*
-Robin
What a wonderful gift.
I can't speak to how it must feel for you but I can certainly say your not losing it :)
I agree with some who've said it's an empathic gift, some of us have the ability to reach through the physical and sense the the emotional body of a person. Emotional bodies don't have the same tangibility, they'll be more variant.
Personally, I think it's pretty awesome :)
Not always the most "manageable" gift at times, but pretty incredible.
Lex
Quote from: kabit on October 16, 2013, 11:56:24 AM
I think you're very people focused. You often see certain individuals on Susan's or in real life and are able to connect various things they've written or said, and how they said them, and can connect those things to make an impression. You're very emotive and caring (clearly ;) you won't tell us our fortunes because you don't want to hurt us! ;)). It is a gift you have.
I've gotten more emotive and emotional since coming out. This is something I repressed completely before. I love it, and it probably pales next to the emotion you have!
It's not so much that I don't want to hurt you, hon. It's just that I don't know where it comes from. Or how accurate it is. I could very well be so wide of the mark, and all this being in my head. I don't want to make any of you feel invalidated, or anything else, by saying something which comes from no other basis other than the way I feel.
I could just say what would make you feel good. And don't think that doesn't tempt me. But that's not who I am. I believe in honesty in all things. And I would rather say nothing than risk hurting anyone. I care about you all too much.
Besides, this may very well be complete hokum. I was just wondering whether this was an insanity unique to myself, lol.
It's really awesome that you're getting more in touch with your emotions. They unlock another side to life that is really worth exploring. Keep going! *hugs*
Quote from: robinmack on October 16, 2013, 12:01:51 PM
Again, no scientific explanation, but learning two metaphysical techniques, namely "grounding" and "shielding" helped me. I used to get completely overwhelmed in public spaces, particularly when the crowd had heightened emotions (such as at a concert or a parade). Going into a Wal-mart could wreck my day, so much despair there.
In grounding, I learned to meditate, to focus on calming energy filling me from the ground up and washing anxiety and icky stuff away. I got to where I could do that standing up and walking around. Very handy (although not a cure-all)
In shielding I learned to visualize a barrier between me and the rest of the world, a "bubble" of sorts, fueled by the energy I gained from grounding.
The calming benefits of meditation *have* been scientifically documented, and have been verified to persist hours or even days after actively meditating, so at least that much has some scientific backing for those who need it.
From my personal experience, Sephira, these techniques can help. I hope they help you... it sounds like you are like I was, an untrained, extremely sensitive empath in a world filled with a bewildering array of loud emotions/feelings. Remember, you can also lower your shields at need, so you can retain your sensitivity.
*hugs*
-Robin
I have heard about those techniques before, Robin. But didn't pay them much heed at the time. I may have to rethink that. Thank you very much for reminding me. *hugs*
Quote from: Lexicon on October 16, 2013, 12:06:53 PM
What a wonderful gift.
I can't speak to how it must feel for you but I can certainly say your not losing it :)
I agree with some who've said it's an empathic gift, some of us have the ability to reach through the physical and sense the the emotional body of a person. Emotional bodies don't have the same tangibility, they'll be more variant.
Personally, I think it's pretty awesome :)
Not always the most "manageable" gift at times, but pretty incredible.
Lex
Thank you, Lex. Sometimes it can be a blessing and a curse, dependant upon what you're dealing with. Sometimes there is so much pain here, it's harrowing. The depth of emotion on this site can sometimes be staggering in its scale.
That wasn't really the intent of this thread, but maybe that does have something to do with it. I don't know. I don't know what I am. Maybe just some dumb girl with her head in the clouds, lol.
(Okay, now you can all agree with that, haha).
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 11:36:09 AM
I was just wondering if I'm the only one who picks up things like this. I hope not, or I might have to get a check up from the neck up, as it were.
I do this. I receive emotional signals from people. I read posts and receive a female or male (or non-binary) vibe. I also get emotional signals from people in real life, some clues as to where they are feeling-wise. I can often predict the sort of thing they'll say or do.
I don't think there is anything supernatural at work. I think I just pick up on body language, inflection, word usage, general feeling behind what they're saying etc.
I should add that I'm not socially adept. I step on people's feelings without realizing it, often say the "wrong" thing, have no clue how to conduct myself in most group settings, and generally have trouble fitting in social except one-to-one. But despite all that, I do pick up vibes from people.
Sephirah,
I am very much the same the way that you described. Though I try to think with my brain, I tend to listen to my heart. Usually when I'm around people, I am very sensitive to their emotions and genderness, for lack of an actual word, that they exude. There's a bit more to it than that but I know what you mean. ;)
Amy
Female intuition is among the variety of things that actually has led me to accept my being a woman.
Men are just not as intuitive. Not a slam on men, they are just other things in their own ways. Men are commonly bigger, it's just a detail eh.
When I was realizing who I was inside, it started to make a lot of things make more sense.
I can't tell you what a relief it is to know I'm not alone with these sorts of feelings. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. :-\
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 12:41:37 PM
I can't tell you what a relief it is to know I'm not alone with these sorts of feelings. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. :-\
*heh* This site reminds me of that daily. No one is truly alone, but it can sure seem that way when we feel like we have to hide our identity for so long. I've seen people who celebrate themselves; they stand out like a beacon for people like them. They reveal parts of their true nature to the world, rather than hide them away. And suddenly, they are no longer alone, but surrounded by people who thought they had to hide, people inspired to burn brightly in their own way by example.
Thank you for being courageous enough to reach out on something "crazy" like this. :)
*hug*
Quote from: suzifrommd on October 16, 2013, 12:14:22 PM
I do this. I receive emotional signals from people. I read posts and receive a female or male (or non-binary) vibe. I also get emotional signals from people in real life, some clues as to where they are feeling-wise. I can often predict the sort of thing they'll say or do.
I don't think there is anything supernatural at work. I think I just pick up on body language, inflection, word usage, general feeling behind what they're saying etc.
I should add that I'm not socially adept. I step on people's feelings without realizing it, often say the "wrong" thing, have no clue how to conduct myself in most group settings, and generally have trouble fitting in social except one-to-one. But despite all that, I do pick up vibes from people.
I don't get gender vibes from people, but I do get vague feelings regarding people's emotions. It's the worst with anxiety; if someone's anxious I'll get anxious too pretty quickly. I don't think it's because I'm an empath, though; I think I'm just hypervigilant and tuned into a lot of subtle verbal and nonverbal cues and don't know how to tune out. In fact, I struggle with empathy sometimes and have been described as being cold and distant.
I get much more detailed and meaningful "vibes" from places than people.
Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on October 16, 2013, 12:37:05 PM
Female intuition is among the variety of things that actually has led me to accept my being a woman.
Men are just not as intuitive. Not a slam on men, they are just other things in their own ways. Men are commonly bigger, it's just a detail eh.
When I was realizing who I was inside, it started to make a lot of things make more sense.
They're definitely not less intuitive-- they've just been told since being little that dealing with people and emotions was for women. They're better at ignoring themselves is what it is. I couldn't tell you how many times my being cold and "rational" was deemed ruder and more inappropriate for me than it was for a man in the same situation because I was thought to be female. If I had a dollar for every time I was encouraged to be more intuitive and woo-woo emotional... I'd be able to pay off my school loans. :P
Quote from: Lo on October 16, 2013, 02:03:51 PM
They're definitely not less intuitive-- they've just been told since being little that dealing with people and emotions was for women. They're better at ignoring themselves is what it is. I couldn't tell you how many times my being cold and "rational" was deemed ruder and more inappropriate for me than it was for a man in the same situation because I was thought to be female. If I had a dollar for every time I was encouraged to be more intuitive and woo-woo emotional... I'd be able to pay off my school loans. :P
Yes. I'm trying to overcome all of that... and it's something I've made worse because I'm transgender. When I forced my female side down - a lot went with it that would have been nice to have, all this time.
Quote from: kabit on October 16, 2013, 02:11:21 PM
Yes. I'm trying to overcome all of that... and it's something I've made worse because I'm transgender. When I forced my female side down - a lot went with it that would have been nice to have, all this time.
It hurts me when people say those things because I'm trying to help my husband overcome his own internal blocks regarding his own feelings and understanding the feelings of others. He's a hugely emotional person, moreso than me I think, but he has no idea how to talk about them most of the time, and has had no one to affirm their value in his life before me, so he's learned to ignore them over the past 30 years. I'm realizing that a lot of men are in his situation and most never overcome it.
Glad you understand, kabit. :)
Quote from: Lo on October 16, 2013, 02:14:28 PM
It hurts me when people say those things because I'm trying to help my husband overcome his own internal blocks regarding his own feelings and understanding the feelings of others. He's a hugely emotional person, moreso than me I think, but he has no idea how to talk about them most of the time, and has had no one to affirm their value in his life before me, so he's learned to ignore them over the past 30 years. I'm realizing that a lot of men are in his situation and most never overcome it.
Glad you understand, kabit. :)
♥ Thank you. It's been difficult and it isn't complete. I'm not on any HRT yet and testosterone really does mute emotions (from everything I've heard)... but that doesn't mean men can't have them (they just aren't as strong or last as long). I used "Glee" (the TV show) as cathartic therapy and it has really helped me immensely. I identify with what they're going through and there are some other really touching parts of the show. The longest & best cry was for the Funeral episode in Season 2 (I am just starting season 3, trying to catch up a bit).
I never go to the child topics because those topics cause me a lot of emption more often than not and I feel helpless and feel the pain. The children boards are just too much.
There are some posters I always read and I follow their thoughts and feelings very well while reading. Sometimes I tear up but what is shared is well worth the tears and emotional investment.
Yes, most definitely on some posts I sense a persona when I read their posts. Some posters are beautiful people and I do not mean looks; they have a gentile, vulnerable and sincere way that attracts.
Sephirah, there is something else. Your posts attract posters who I like to read their posts and responses. I always think about what you say and how you say it. They way you present your thoughts makes me listen and reflect. Definitely a light.
and yes, Devlyn your dress is stunning and your hair looks perfect.
I, too, pick up the feeling that a person on the internet is one gender or another. You are not alone in that. I also have other things that happen and I gather that you do too. Perhaps there is more to intuition or psychic ability than many believe but not at science fiction levels,
Thank you very much for all your insight. I really do appreciate it. It's really... empowering to know that I am not alone with this. And that it's something which might be more common than I originally thought.
Kabit, something I feel I should mention with regard to Testosterone muting emotions. I'm not at all sure that's accurate. At least in my case I would venture it isn't. I've had it swirling around in my system for most of my life, yet always felt this way. I think it might be more likely that the association one makes with that, in relation to who a person is, goes more of the way to repressing emotion and feeling than the hormone itself. Perhaps on a subconscious level. It may very well be a complex interrelation between how one feels they should be, how one is treated, and how one is given the opportunities to express themselves which lead to being more or less in tune with one's emotions. I think that everyone has the same capacity within them.
For example, most of my time here I observe people. The way they express themselves, and the interesting thing is, I very often find little difference between people on HRT, and people who haven't started it yet, with regard to the way they express themelves... the fluidity of their emotions, I suppose. Maybe that comes from being in an environment where they are more free to express themselves, and release that part of themselves which may be fully, or partially constrained in everyday life. I'm really not sure. Which leads me to wonder if it isn't the mind drawing some sort of framework from everyday life when deciding how much to allow emotion to be felt. If one is expected to be stoic, unfeeling... if part of the way they feel they have to be day to day is like that... then whether their primary hormone is Testosterone or not, the result is the same.
Maybe it is a long established self-defense mechanism based on something which happened a long time ago. Admonished for feeling, perhaps. I really can't say, and I'm rambling again, lol. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that I suspect just because someone doesn't use their emotions so much doesn't mean they can't. They may just need encouragement.
Lo, your posts really strike a chord with me. As a child I was, perhaps, much the same as your husband. A seething mass of overwhelming emotion with no outlet or even understanding of what was going on. Feeling so many things but not knowing how to express them. And being in an environment where doing so was... well, sometimes hazardous. For a couple of years during my teens, most of that was repressed. I guess you could say I was numb. Not thinking about feeling. And to do so was more hurtful and confusing than it was productive. I was called a machine. It wasn't so much that I was told it was for women, but more that it was drilled into me that it wasn't for anyone. I think part of that was being raised by a single parent, my mother. One of the strongest people I ever knew, in some ways. But she hid her emotions very well. Almost too well. And felt uncomfortable whenever one of us didn't. Maybe a little of that was resentment over someone expressing something she felt she couldn't. She felt she had to be strong. To be stoic. To get through. And that was the only way to be in life. Who knows.
Nevertheless, I think it's eminently possible to push emotions down, to learn to use other things to get through life. But I don't think they ever leave. They're just waiting. I am sure you will get there with your husband, and I wish you all the best with that. I think it's a really great thing you're doing, working with him to understand and express feelings again.
Cynthia Michelle, thank you very much. I totally agree with you. Sometimes I read things that leave me speechless from the depth of feeling, utter beauty and grace from which those words come. And I feel for such gentle, wonderful souls who feel constrained, for whatever reason, but allow themselves just a glimpse of the light which resides within. It very often makes me feel hopeful. Not just for the people concerned, but for myself, too.
LordKAT, you are right. There are other things which happen too, things I don't want to speak about here, really. Things which I have, and offer no explanation for. But also things which allow me to help folks feel better, to offer what I can to aid those seeking direction in life. It's really great to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you so much. All of you. This has made me feel a lot better about myself.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 08:25:37 PM
Thank you very much for all your insight. I really do appreciate it. It's really... empowering to know that I am not alone with this. And that it's something which might be more common than I originally thought.
Kabit, something I feel I should mention with regard to Testosterone muting emotions. I'm not at all sure that's accurate. At least in my case I would venture it isn't. I've had it swirling around in my system for most of my life, yet always felt this way. I think it might be more likely that the association one makes with that, in relation to who a person is, goes more of the way to repressing emotion and feeling than the hormone itself. Perhaps on a subconscious level. It may very well be a complex interrelation between how one feels they should be, how one is treated, and how one is given the opportunities to express themselves which lead to being more or less in tune with one's emotions. I think that everyone has the same capacity within them.
For example, most of my time here I observe people. The way they express themselves, and the interesting thing is, I very often find little difference between people on HRT, and people who haven't started it yet, with regard to the way they express themelves... the fluidity of their emotions, I suppose. Maybe that comes from being in an environment where they are more free to express themselves, and release that part of themselves which may be fully, or partially constrained in everyday life. I'm really not sure. Which leads me to wonder if it isn't the mind drawing some sort of framework from everyday life when deciding how much to allow emotion to be felt. If one is expected to be stoic, unfeeling... if part of the way they feel they have to be day to day is like that... then whether their primary hormone is Testosterone or not, the result is the same.
Maybe it is a long established self-defense mechanism based on something which happened a long time ago. Admonished for feeling, perhaps. I really can't say, and I'm rambling again, lol. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that I suspect just because someone doesn't use their emotions so much doesn't mean they can't. They may just need encouragement.
Lo, your posts really strike a chord with me. As a child I was, perhaps, much the same as your husband. A seething mass of overwhelming emotion with no outlet or even understanding of what was going on. Feeling so many things but not knowing how to express them. And being in an environment where doing so was... well, sometimes hazardous. For a couple of years during my teens, most of that was repressed. I guess you could say I was numb. Not thinking about feeling. And to do so was more hurtful and confusing than it was productive. I was called a machine. It wasn't so much that I was told it was for women, but more that it was drilled into me that it wasn't for anyone. I think part of that was being raised by a single parent, my mother. One of the strongest people I ever knew, in some ways. But she hid her emotions very well. Almost too well. And felt uncomfortable whenever one of us didn't. Maybe a little of that was resentment over someone expressing something she felt she couldn't. She felt she had to be strong. To be stoic. To get through. And that was the only way to be in life. Who knows.
Nevertheless, I think it's eminently possible to push emotions down, to learn to use other things to get through life. But I don't think they ever leave. They're just waiting. I am sure you will get there with your husband, and I wish you all the best with that. I think it's a really great thing you're doing, working with him to understand and express feelings again.
Cynthia Michelle, thank you very much. I totally agree with you. Sometimes I read things that leave me speechless from the depth of feeling, utter beauty and grace from which those words come. And I feel for such gentle, wonderful souls who feel constrained, for whatever reason, but allow themselves just a glimpse of the light which resides within. It very often makes me feel hopeful. Not just for the people concerned, but for myself, too.
LordKAT, you are right. There are other things which happen too, things I don't want to speak about here, really. Things which I have, and offer no explanation for. But also things which allow me to help folks feel better, to offer what I can to aid those seeking direction in life. It's really great to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you so much. All of you. This has made me feel a lot better about myself.
Humans are incredible creatures, and we shortchange our abilities all the time. To study these "sixth senses" is akin to professional suicide for many scientists, and if you publish one too many pieces about this sort of thing, you lose credibility mighty fast if you're a publication. It's going to be a long time before modernity gets bored with objectivism and over our love affair with the Enlightenment... which wasn't all that enlightened in hindsight. How great can a philosophy be when one of its greatest achievements was the guillotine for being so efficient and humane a killing device? There will come a day, I'm sure, when emotions beyond smugness and indignation are truly valued and when we put free will back into the brain.
My husband's parents were actually his grandparents, so they were already advanced in years when he was a child, and also of the working-class GI generation, so I imagine they had less use for outpourings of emotion than we might these days and less patience for it in someone so much younger than themselves. I try my best, and I think the greatest thing I've done for him is help get him to a psychiatrist. There's only so much I can do.
This is a good thread. :]
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 10:59:58 AM
Hi, folks.
It's not too often I make threads here, since for the most part I don't have much of interest to say. However, something has been playing on my mind recently and I am starting to wonder if I'm alone in this (i.e slowly going round the twist), or if anyone else experiences something similar.
As the title suggests, I am a creature of emotion, and intuition. A lot of things I do, and say, come from an emotional basis. I tend to feel my way forward in life, rather than being one of life's great thinkers. One of the side effects of this, maybe, is that I tend to pick up certain... feelings from other people. I don't really know any other way to describe this. I don't know whether one would call it a vibe, or an aura, or... whether there's some other term for it. It's not even so much a feeling as a... snapshot of a person.
Hmm... I'm not doing a good job of explaining this. Okay... when I read the posts from people here, and listen to people IRL, I am starting to feel like I pick up varying degrees of... something. And this is the part I'm not sure about. I hesitate to call it a male or female energy, but that's the closest I can approximate it to. I don't know whether to call it masculine and feminine, or male and female. I cannot work out which it is. But it's definitely something along those lines. And having said that, there are people from whom I get a very distinct feeling of both, and neither.
The thing is, it has nothing to do with the contents of the posts, or even the way they're written. It's an intangible... something. Something which, were I to meet that person, I would say with certainty "This is a woman." or "This is a man", or "This is a non-binary gendered person". And the more I am exposed to this, the stronger it becomes.
I won't mention any names, but there are people here who portray those feelings to me in very strong terms. And those who do so to a lesser degree. I wonder if that's a sign of how strongly they embody themselves, or something else. I really don't know. I just find it interesting and wonder if I am losing my marbles, or if there are others who also pick up on this.
No there is nothing wrong with you i can promise you.I am also the same but it was over time.I believe there is wisdom and then there is awareness but both linking together.As we suffer in life,we learn the moves,we learn the emotions attached,we learn how to see with more then our physical eyes.This is also something i have picked up myself.Not in regards to mental/physical gender but over all carrying of ones self.For example,i can tell when someone is lying,cheating,stabbing me in the back,using me,and being down right disrespectful or rude *on purpose* and without needing to hear a word from their mouth.Im more of an emotional person you could say and really believe that the eyes are the windows into the soul.Yes this is a form of gift but it is also from experience.the true definition of wisdom.Because there is a difference between wisdom and knowledge *tho many dont seem to know this difference* So i would say continue to experience,learn and open yourself and you will be amazed at all of the things your heart can see.
I sort of know what you mean and tend to do that too. After all, some people tend to be more feminine or masculine. That says nothing about their gender, but it's an aspect of their overall character. One of my bffs is a straight guy, but is ultra fem. If you talked to him, you would say that's a girl. I also know girls that are the other way. It's probably a social conditioning thing.... like boys do this girls do that. Same thing with gayday, we expect we can detect things about people because of their mannerisms. I suspect it says less about the person and more about the society we were raised in. But I don't know. Sometimes there is a kernel of truth to stereotypes.
And you should post more often! Seriously you are awesome and one of the best posters here! :D
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 11:36:09 AM
Robin, that's more what I was after. Whether there are others who feel somewhat similar. Maybe it is a subconscious thing. Maybe you're right. I just find it really interesting how much we're aware of without knowing why we're aware of it.
communication is a subconscious thing in most people. how to interpret and send out different signs is supposed to be learned as naturally as learning one's mother tongue. the only larger group of people that i know of who often have problems with this are those on the autism spectrum. i think most of them get the basic feeling cues, but many have problems picking up smaller signals, like a slight verbal hint. so you'd have to be so much more direct to some of them in order to make sure they understand you. and many of them have really big problems learning how to send the right signals about their own emotions. i pick up other people's emotions very easily, but my mom once said that my inability to express emotions in a way that most people are used to, makes it some times seem like i'm on the autism spectrum.
people send lots of signals all the time. how we interpret them could probably be explained scientifically to a very large degree. it's not only the gender marker, avatar, signature, clothing style, body language, facial expressions. there are also things like associations, choice of words, order of arguments, structure of a text. in written and spoken language there are tons of patterns that linguists already know exist, but they are still nowhere near having analyzed even half of them. those who speaks sign language should be able to tell us how much meaning can be read in how we move our body. and anyone who's tried seriously to learn to speak cat language should at some point have found themselves very frustrated that they don't have a tail, and can't move their ears like cats do. those kitties are probably thinking i have the most hilarious speech impairment.
Quote from: Sephirah on October 16, 2013, 12:11:51 PM
It's not so much that I don't want to hurt you, hon. It's just that I don't know where it comes from. Or how accurate it is. I could very well be so wide of the mark, and all this being in my head. I don't want to make any of you feel invalidated, or anything else, by saying something which comes from no other basis other than the way I feel.
what you pick up from people can some times be extremely accurate. i once had a conversation with a young woman where she told me about an event in her childhood that later became very traumatic to her. i had seen her reaction in one specific situation, and with all my knowledge of human beings (i love to analyze them, and do it not only subconsciously, but also consciously), i ended up interpreting everything she wrote in a way that made me explain her experience to her before she'd actually told me about it. she thought i was reading her thoughts. i wasn't, but i might have been wondering how i was so right about everything if i hadn't already observed and analyzed my own tendency to observe and analyze people, their interactions, and their reactions to all kinds of situations. i can make very good assumptions about most people, though i avoid speaking them because of the chance that i'm wrong. better not to tell people how much i'm reading from the few clues they give me to work from.
Quote from: Lo on October 16, 2013, 02:01:58 PM
I don't get gender vibes from people, but I do get vague feelings regarding people's emotions. It's the worst with anxiety; if someone's anxious I'll get anxious too pretty quickly. I don't think it's because I'm an empath, though; I think I'm just hypervigilant and tuned into a lot of subtle verbal and nonverbal cues and don't know how to tune out. In fact, I struggle with empathy sometimes and have been described as being cold and distant.
mirroring other people's emotions, especially the negative ones, is something i think is related to pack mentality. if you notice someone's anxiety, you really should get anxious, because what causes the other person's anxiety might be something that could threaten you as well. other people's emotions affect me a lot too, seems like i've kept at least some traits of the wild creatures we once were. i'd rather have fangs though. the place where people bother me the most is at home. i can handle them at work, a couple times a week outside work. but if there are people around me all the time, i end up spending energy all that time on observing their every move. i can relax only after everyone's asleep, which means i get less time to sleep, because there's no way i could fall asleep without having some time to relax first.
when it comes to picking up gender vibes, i do that around half the time or something. i think it's related to how strongly i experience gender myself. without gender, i can't see any gender cues at all. when i do notice gender cues, i see a lot of really interesting variation here. just like sephirah, i don't see differences before and after hrt. but i do see people change with their varying level of acceptance of themselves, i think it would be. a persona or personality isn't always too closely connected to a person's gender, and i've seen some people join us in the appearance of their learned personality, which would often be the opposite gender of what they truly are, and then as they get more secure of themselves, gradually or suddenly shed the traits of that learned personality and become more of themselves. there are also those who switch back and forth kind of irregularly, or seem to naturally send mixed signals. i love this place, and how diversity can be shown here. people will always be the most interesting creatures to observe.
(not gong to get into other types of vibes here. i know people who see things that are supposedly not there, and might never be scientifically proven to be. i've also experienced reading the future, but that is... something different from just the ability to read people well.)