Hi everyone,
Overall, I'm feeling okay. I like who I am now and everything, but there are a couple of little things that are itchin at me.
I took the name 'rebecca' when I first figured out I'm not a man. I like that name. I think it is beautiful and strong and I really do feel like a Becky, but now that I've stopped rolling around on the wheel and have settled permanently into androgyne, I'm wondering if I should rethink my name. I was kind of wondering that when Laurry changed to 'Laurry'. It seems to make sense that I should choose a name that represents both genders or no gender at all, which is how I identify now.
There's no rush on the name decision. I'm just thinking about it and am wondering about your opinions. I used to call myself 'robot' before I accepted my gender variance. So, I have that in mind, or robotica, or robecca, or something entirely different like wishfire (just kidding wishy). Maybe I'll poke around in mythology or scifi or just choose a word out of the dictionary or encyclopedia like ceaser did in the 4th planet of the apes movie (those who have been following my posts in sexuality will know I have a thing for his mother ;) irony huh?)
I got off topic.
Some of the other little things messing with me is how do I relate to the TS's. I was studying to become one and, for a time, felt like one. Now, however, I feel like a phony if I try to give advice to a transsexual. I love those guys and girls, but I don't want to be mistaken for some kind of whacko who uses the name 'rebecca' but isn't even on the path to transition. I guess this is another reason I'm thinking name change; so as not to have people feel I am misrepresenting myself.
Another place where I feel a little lost is that when I thought I was a Transsexual, I knew exactly what I needed to do to make myself into one complete person. As scary as transition can be, it is easier in that you know you have a specific path to travel and that if all goes well, you will reach a point where you know you have done your work and have become the person you were meant to be.
I hate to whine about this, but coming to terms with being an androgyne has been extremely weird. I have suffered a great and cruel agony just discovering my GID and then working through it. However, it feels to me like I went through complete and total hell only to discover that I was done. The trip is over and I'm happy, but let's face it, it's anticlimactic. It's like Dorothy going through all of that struggle just to discover that she had the power within her the whole time.
I am a different person than the one I was, but where are my battle scars? People I know will never grasp what I went through.
Please understand that I am not complaining. I am very fortunate to have come to understand my nature in a way that many people never will. I am quite happy with my androgyne self even though, at some level, I still kind of lack a basic understanding of it. I think that is only because there is so much information for men and women concerning gender, sex, psychology and such, but there is little information or understanding of androgynes.
I think I am done here. Maybe some of you have opinions or views that are similar or entirely different. I will be happy to hear them.
Peace,
Possibly Rebecca
Posted on: July 04, 2007, 10:44:39 PM
I almost forgot.
I actually feel guilty now because even though I am an androgyne, I have no problem with gender expression. I have always liked dressing simply in the type of clothing that you can throw on a man or a woman. Sometimes I try to soften the look with a bunch of bracelets, necklaces, or head scarves, but my look is just naturally neutral. I feel a little guilty because I know that a lot of people in the TG community take a lot of flack for their gender expression and little old vanilla me has no visual signals that could really be dangerous. I am not trying to avoid trouble or to hide anything. But I feel like a worm because I'm being myself, which is nonmainstream, but I do not need to defend myself like others do.
Grrrr.
I really hope you don't change it to Robotica! It's going to be a bit tough to find a genderless name using your current one.
Rebi
Foggi or with a Y if you prefer Foggy
tink :icon_chick:
Quote from: Tink on July 04, 2007, 10:54:47 PM
I really hope you don't change it to Robotica! It's going to be a bit tough to find a genderless name using your current one.
Rebi
Foggi or with a Y if you prefer Foggy
tink :icon_chick:
I hadn't thought of that one; Foggy. It actually describes what people's brains will become if they try to understand me.
It's OK (___fill in your name here____), welcome to the fun that is Androgyny.
Ummm...no, you can't change your name. Just because I did, doesn't mean EVERYONE can... >:D
Honey, you can choose any dang thing you want for a name. Some seem to work out better than others. Choose one that you can live with for now. I mean, it's just an ONLINE name, so you can use whatever you please. (If and when you decide to legally change your name, well, that's another matter.) I'm sure Susan would appreciate it if the new name you choose does not violate her "you-can't-say-that-word-here" rules, but otherwise, find one that speaks to your heart.
You are also free to keep the same name you have been using. Ain't this a great place?
As far as some of your other ponderings...
"How do I relate to TS's?"
- Honest compassionate heartfelt comments, questions and musings are always welcome, regardless of in which area you may be posting. Be helpful where you can, Respectful of those who disagree, and always supportive of those along the journey.
(Yeah, but you knew that already...how about answering my question?) Pushy, ain't ya? OK, just be honest. It would not be surprising that there may be others along the TS road that realize that isn't right for them...there have been several already who have posted such. And just because you now consider yourself an Androgyne instead of a TS doesn't mean that your experiences, feelings and beliefs are any less valid than they were before. So, post where you want, when you want. If you feel people may misunderstand, then add a small disclaimer (or add a link pointing to this topic).
-Transitioning to Androgyne
When you figure out a good roadmap, please be a sweetheart and let me know, will ya? I used to think the hardest part of being an Androgyne was explaining it to someone else, but the transition thing ranks right up there with it.
Just as there are an infinite number of points between Male and Female along the gender spectrum, there are twice that many possible transition destinations. (Yes, I said Infinity times 2...you do the math) I am beginning to believe that I will never complete my transition to Androgyne because my personal gender identity tends to shift around...then again, I guess that means I may have already completed it?? Let's wait for better minds than mine to help answer this one.
- Having trouble understanding what it means to be an Androgyne
Why? We have the best of both worlds...male when it suits our moods/needs...female when that works best...(OK, not exactly, but you know what I mean). We are uniquely blessed with an understanding of what it means to be male/female/both or neither. We are the "free spirits" of the gender world and play in the gender river like otters do in water. Sure we may have trouble explaining what it means to be psychologically androgynous to those who never questioned their gender. Sure there is no clear-cut end to transition. But, on the whole, I couldn't be more excited that I'm an androgyne. We are the winners of the gender lottery! (OK...maybe that was too much, but you get my point).
Emerald and Ken/Kendra have done some tremendous work in helping explain Androgyny. Read their posts and their Wiki entries for more info.
- Life is going too easy for you
Just wait.
Hope this helps a little. If not, at least you know what NOT to think ;D
Hugs.....Laurry
Thank you, Laurry.
I think I have an underlying fear that I'm a fraud. I know I'm not, but I'm just sensitive to misrepresenting myself. Also, now that I think about it, I wrote a post about how comfortable I feel with the people at this site, so maybe my doubts are based on fear of disappointing people who mean a lot to me.
It could be my natural instinct to assume there is something 'wrong' with me because I'm happy. So now that I know who I am, there has to be something 'wrong' with me. Now that I feel like I belong somewhere, it follows that there is something 'wrong' with me.
I appreciate your response.
The only thing wrong with you is your belief that there is something wrong.
A lot of us feel like frauds...heck, most of us have been hiding our true selves from the world for a long time, so in a sense, we are. I know you were speaking specifically about posting to the TSs, and not wanting to misrepresent yourself, but just be open and honest, and you will have nothing to "feel guilty" about.
And, for your information, there is something wrong with you...most of us have known it for years >:D
.....Laurry
Quote from: Laurry on July 05, 2007, 12:19:33 AM
The only thing wrong with you is your belief that there is something wrong.
A lot of us feel like frauds...heck, most of us have been hiding our true selves from the world for a long time, so in a sense, we are. I know you were speaking specifically about posting to the TSs, and not wanting to misrepresent yourself, but just be open and honest, and you will have nothing to "feel guilty" about.
And, for your information, there is something wrong with you...most of us have known it for years >:D
.....Laurry
and, of course, no one bothered to tell
me. Typical.
Rebeccafog,
I don't find you to be any more or less credible based on whether or not you identify TS or androgen. Your credibility is in your life experience, as a human being struggling with gender identification. You are no more a fraud than anyone here, who at one time may or may not have understood their own gender identity, and how we should feel.
I mean aren't we all here looking for answers? Sometimes we don't even know the question. Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you are a good person and I have taken what you have said here in the context it was offered. As a person reaching out to another person(s).
Love always,
Elizabeth
why do you feel you have to change your name, rebecca? do you need to? do you have to? will that change change how we see you? will that change make you feel more comfortable with yourself?
Hi Becca,
I don't think anything differently about you now that you've discovered you're androgyne. You're a sweet person with a sense of humor and I enjoy your posts. If you have something to say in a thread (TS oriented or otherwise), please don't hold back. We're all here because we deal with gender issues of some kind. Chime in to any topic if you have something to say.
And I like your name. Don't feel the need to change it, unless you really want to. Maybe the name Rebecca expresses your female side?
your friend,
Nero
Quote from: RebeccaFog on July 04, 2007, 10:53:18 PM
Hi everyone,
I took the name 'rebecca' when I first figured out I'm not a man. I like that name. I think it is beautiful and strong and I really do feel like a Becky, but now that I've stopped rolling around on the wheel and have settled permanently into androgyne, I'm wondering if I should rethink my name. I was kind of wondering that when Laurry changed to 'Laurry'. It seems to make sense that I should choose a name that represents both genders or no gender at all, which is how I identify now.
There's no rush on the name decision. I'm just thinking about it and am wondering about your opinions. I used to call myself 'robot' before I accepted my gender variance. So, I have that in mind, or robotica, or robecca, or something entirely different like wishfire (just kidding wishy). Maybe I'll poke around in mythology or scifi or just choose a word out of the dictionary or encyclopedia like ceaser did in the 4th planet of the apes movie (those who have been following my posts in sexuality will know I have a thing for his mother ;) irony huh?)
Quote from: Laurry(Yes, I said Infinity times 2...you do the math)
I agree with Laurry on everything except this fact. Its Infinity times Pi=3.1416. Options must be in a circle. The universe is a circle, and the radius is Pi*R. R in this case is infinity. Sorry your wrong Laurry. :o
I agree with Elizabeth, Katia and Nero.
Just go by the name you like best. Being an androgyne doesnt limit names. When I first came to this site it was just after a few months of talking with my life partner. All of my life I had never gone by a female name at all. She had asked if there was a female name that I went by. I had no clue. We talked about different versions of Ken and Kenny, which lead to Kendra and / or Kendall. So when I registered for the site I put Kendra. Sometimes she will use that name for code when out in public, but normally of course we dont use each other's names in common conversations. People normally only use partner names when talking to other people about them.
After a year or so, I didnt like just having Kendra, since to me it seemed fake. So I added Ken in front. Then I typed Ken/Kendra/Kenny/Kendall/KK
in the spot bellow my pic, since I really dont care what others call me. They can pick whatever they feel most comfortable with.
Just make sure your true to yourself and you dont feel pressured to change your name just for androgyne sake. Part of being an androgyne is having the full spectrum or all spheres open. One can be an ultra feminine person and still be called "Tom" or "Bob". Having a androgynous name is just one personal choice where there really isnt a right answer, except whats right for you. Whether your becky, rebecca, robotica, or wishfire or whatever, just as long as your comfortable with it as an online name. Its all the same to us, or most of us. I guess there might be a few name-sensitive people who might question the whys and whats of name, but its none of anyone else's business really.
Quote
Some of the other little things messing with me is how do I relate to the TS's. I was studying to become one and, for a time, felt like one. Now, however, I feel like a phony if I try to give advice to a transsexual.
I relate to TS's as equals. I am not better nor lesser than them. CDs are the same as well. My beliefs in having all "options" open is inclusive to them. You'll see some of my posts include CD and TS, or non TG info. I really dont believe that the lines of definitions are as stark and black and white as some make it to be, rather they are blurred and sometimes overlap. I believe a AG can look like anything, can even get srs, think anyway, feel anyway, behave anyway, as long as there is something in them that feels a little different then 'just male' or 'just female'. I'll let the definition-fetish people and amature-philosophers argue about whats what, but to me its a waste of time.
Dont take anything that I have written nor anyone else as a map to a specific destination. Rather they are possibilities. The ones I make sometimes I make just because I havent seen them anywhere else. Back when the boards were younger, there were a few that talked about the androgynous dressing. Having seen that and never seen only little written about it on practically any site, and being one of my interests, I took a poll then asked questions to form androgynous guides. Like others have mentioned, androgyne doesnt mean appearance. And androgynous arent necessarily androgynes. But as a later poll showed around 50% feel like their androgyny affects their appearance, so for those half, its an option now at least talked about. Its something now at Susan's that wasnt their before January 13, 2007, that I made with a lot of influence from other androgyne members.
Some posts I write just for conversation. Some I am passionate about. Somes for debate. I like making polls, because they bring out data thats many times not found anywhere else in the web that can be very useful to others. And I love Q and A discussions, because thats what I like reading myself. Occassionally I like reading life experiences.
I think at the core of any androgyne discussion is just "without gender boundaries, what is right for you." I personally go a little further in saying "try something new that was in the past taboo, or you might be a little fearful of (as long as it doesnt hurt you or another person physically). Then judge if its good or bad, right or wrong. Just break the gender boundaries to find out. And going back is a real option if you find thats where you should have been all along. Or leap to another spot if thats more right. Or try something else. " I am not a flamboyant person. And when I meet new people, like currently when I changed jobs, I go in my shell a bit more. It will be a while before I feel comfortable at my new job to feel free to express myself more naturally.
QuoteI love those guys and girls, but I don't want to be mistaken for some kind of whacko who uses the name 'rebecca' but isn't even on the path to transition. I guess this is another reason I'm thinking name change; so as not to have people feel I am misrepresenting myself.
If you want it to remain the same, keep it. Dont change it for anyone else's opinion. If someone thinks your misrepresenting, besides yourself, on something that is personal to yourself and really none of their business. I have never looked at someones name and questioned the validity of it.
Quote
Another place where I feel a little lost is that when I thought I was a Transsexual, I knew exactly what I needed to do to make myself into one complete person. As scary as transition can be, it is easier in that you know you have a specific path to travel and that if all goes well, you will reach a point where you know you have done your work and have become the person you were meant to be.
I hate to whine about this, but coming to terms with being an androgyne has been extremely weird. I have suffered a great and cruel agony just discovering my GID and then working through it. However, it feels to me like I went through complete and total hell only to discover that I was done. The trip is over and I'm happy, but let's face it, it's anticlimactic. It's like Dorothy going through all of that struggle just to discover that she had the power within her the whole time.
I am a different person than the one I was, but where are my battle scars? People I know will never grasp what I went through.
The road and path is entirely open, you may be there right now. Or you may find something in your life not exactly feeling right. Either way the path is entirely open and not limited.
Quote
Please understand that I am not complaining. I am very fortunate to have come to understand my nature in a way that many people never will. I am quite happy with my androgyne self even though, at some level, I still kind of lack a basic understanding of it. I think that is only because there is so much information for men and women concerning gender, sex, psychology and such, but there is little information or understanding of androgynes.
And this section of susans can use much more information. You can even help bring and fill the section with info that will help yourself or others when traveling their own path which is open to themselves.
Quote
I actually feel guilty now because even though I am an androgyne, I have no problem with gender expression. I have always liked dressing simply in the type of clothing that you can throw on a man or a woman. Sometimes I try to soften the look with a bunch of bracelets, necklaces, or head scarves, but my look is just naturally neutral. I feel a little guilty because I know that a lot of people in the TG community take a lot of flack for their gender expression and little old vanilla me has no visual signals that could really be dangerous. I am not trying to avoid trouble or to hide anything. But I feel like a worm because I'm being myself, which is nonmainstream, but I do not need to defend myself like others do.
Grrrr.
No need to feel guilty. Gender expression isnt the same as gender identity. Sometimes it is influenced by it. And by other factors such as personality type, functions, and beliefs. I am a seamstress, amature jewelry maker, artist, and cosmetologist student. So thats why many of my posts dwell in that arena. Having said that, I am not listening to anyone that tells me to stop posting them. I feel it gives an option not talked about prior on the site. Some people like politics, some philosophy, some definitions, some social events, some religion, some plastic surgery and procedures, some news, some language and literature. I like what I like. And the percentage of androgynous or nuetral style is higher in this section then in the others. In reality I like the styles that mix genders. Personalities that mix. I also know others dont feel the same and I respect how they feel.
hi everyone,
Thanks for the responses. I really like being Rebecca. I feel like a Rebecca. I think I'll stop worrying about that. I was just wondering if maybe the Rebecca persona might be inappropriate. Besides I was beginning to develop a fear that Tink might start referring to me as 'Foggy Bottom Becky' or something. ;D ;)
That is a lot of information, KK, but I appreciate it. I think I like things to be mixed up a little too in terms of gender expression and interests. I guess I'm kind of narrow in my actual gender expression, but I like to see it in people around me. The part about a broad range of interests really makes sense to me. The more people have to share with others, the better chance they have of understanding themselves.
Peace,
Rebecca
QuoteI took the name 'rebecca' when I first figured out I'm not a man. I like that name. I think it is beautiful and strong and I really do feel like a Becky, but now that I've stopped rolling around on the wheel and have settled permanently into androgyne, I'm wondering if I should rethink my name. I was kind of wondering that when Laurry changed to 'Laurry'. It seems to make sense that I should choose a name that represents both genders or no gender at all, which is how I identify now
Hi Rebecca,
I think that if you like the name Rebecca, and it feels right, keep it. There's no rule that says an androgyne has to have an androgynous name, although for me, creating a name that didn't belong to either gender was what made sense. But hey, if you change it to Robotica, or Foggy, or whatever, that's OK too. Just don't use my name, LOL ;D
QuoteSome of the other little things messing with me is how do I relate to the TS's. I was studying to become one and, for a time, felt like one. Now, however, I feel like a phony if I try to give advice to a transsexual. I love those guys and girls, but I don't want to be mistaken for some kind of whacko who uses the name 'rebecca' but isn't even on the path to transition. I guess this is another reason I'm thinking name change; so as not to have people feel I am misrepresenting myself.
I'm always careful when posting in the TS area, or any area other which isn't how I identify, to not step on people's toes. But if there's a subject that I have experience in, and feelings about, I will say something. I think as long as we post respectfully, it's OK. There are people who don't identify as androgyne who who post in this section, and I welcome their insight. Hopefully, when we post in the other areas, they welcome ours too ::)
QuoteAnother place where I feel a little lost is that when I thought I was a Transsexual, I knew exactly what I needed to do to make myself into one complete person. As scary as transition can be, it is easier in that you know you have a specific path to travel and that if all goes well, you will reach a point where you know you have done your work and have become the person you were meant to be.
I hate to whine about this, but coming to terms with being an androgyne has been extremely weird. I have suffered a great and cruel agony just discovering my GID and then working through it. However, it feels to me like I went through complete and total hell only to discover that I was done. The trip is over and I'm happy, but let's face it, it's anticlimactic. It's like Dorothy going through all of that struggle just to discover that she had the power within her the whole time.
I am a different person than the one I was, but where are my battle scars? People I know will never grasp what I went through.
I sure know that feeling. I identified as M2F TS for quite a few years in my journey to end up where I am now, including a year plus RLT and intense feelings of gender dysphora. A dear friend told me during that time that being in between was harder than changing genders completely. I know that she saw that in me before I came to this current place of understanding. Even years later, it feels a little strange to not be one or the other gender, and I still sometimes wonder if I wouldn't be happier to transition again and live as a woman. The part that I still find the most difficult is invisibility, I know who I am inside, but the world doesn't see that from the outside.
QuoteI actually feel guilty now because even though I am an androgyne, I have no problem with gender expression. I have always liked dressing simply in the type of clothing that you can throw on a man or a woman. Sometimes I try to soften the look with a bunch of bracelets, necklaces, or head scarves, but my look is just naturally neutral. I feel a little guilty because I know that a lot of people in the TG community take a lot of flack for their gender expression and little old vanilla me has no visual signals that could really be dangerous. I am not trying to avoid trouble or to hide anything. But I feel like a worm because I'm being myself, which is nonmainstream, but I do not need to defend myself like others do.
Perhaps the most confusing thing about being androgyne (for me anyway) is that we are this way regardless of whether or not we express our gender differences externally. Regarding clothing, I often just wear jeans and a tee shirt, and being in New England, flannel shirts when it's cold (9 or 10 months of the year). Of course, I love wearing a nice skirt too, but presenting in between genders in a rural area isn't the safest thing.
Thanks for a wonderful, though provoking post.
zythyra
Quote from: zythyra on July 05, 2007, 10:01:51 AM
Hi Rebecca,
I think that if you like the name Rebecca, and it feels right, keep it. There's no rule that says an androgyne has to have an androgynous name, although for me, creating a name that didn't belong to either gender was what made sense. But hey, if you change it to Robotica, or Foggy, or whatever, that's OK too. Just don't use my name, LOL ;D
QuoteAnother place where I feel a little lost is that when I thought I was a Transsexual, I knew exactly what I needed to do to make myself into one complete person. As scary as transition can be, it is easier in that you know you have a specific path to travel and that if all goes well, you will reach a point where you know you have done your work and have become the person you were meant to be.
I hate to whine about this, but coming to terms with being an androgyne has been extremely weird. I have suffered a great and cruel agony just discovering my GID and then working through it. However, it feels to me like I went through complete and total hell only to discover that I was done. The trip is over and I'm happy, but let's face it, it's anticlimactic. It's like Dorothy going through all of that struggle just to discover that she had the power within her the whole time.
I am a different person than the one I was, but where are my battle scars? People I know will never grasp what I went through.
I sure know that feeling. I identified as M2F TS for quite a few years in my journey to end up where I am now, including a year plus RLT and intense feelings of gender dysphora. A dear friend told me during that time that being in between was harder than changing genders completely. I know that she saw that in me before I came to this current place of understanding. Even years later, it feels a little strange to not be one or the other gender, and I still sometimes wonder if I wouldn't be happier to transition again and live as a woman. The part that I still find the most difficult is invisibility, I know who I am inside, but the world doesn't see that from the outside.
zythyra
It just occurred to me that I can call myself
Zythyra and use
Katia's avatar!! Yayy! ;D I'll be famous.
zythyra,
You've said that about invisibility before, but I finally understood it for real.
Thank you for the point of view.
Peace,
Rebecca
QuoteIt just occurred to me that I can call myself Zythyra and use Katia's avatar!! Yayy! Grin I'll be famous.
Don't forget to send those royalty checks ;D Hmmmm, I'm getting an idea here, I could outsource, a franchise, next thing you know there will be millions of zythyrae roaming the earth in their gender variant splendor, all sending me quarterly payments. LOL >:D
QuoteYou've said that about invisibility before, but I finally understood it for real.
In a perfect world, I don't think it would be such an issue, since one could express gender variance safely. Years ago I heard a quote from Jamaica Kincaid, paraphrased, it's hard to describe who we are in the language of the oppressor. This still resonates for me, there's no commonly understood way to describe who we are.
zythyra
Quote from: Ken/Kendra on July 05, 2007, 05:41:04 AM
Quote from: Laurry(Yes, I said Infinity times 2...you do the math)
I agree with Laurry on everything except this fact. Its Infinity times Pi=3.1416. Options must be in a circle. The universe is a circle, and the radius is Pi*R. R in this case is infinity. Sorry your wrong Laurry. :o
I hate it when that happens. OK, mia culpa. [Stated sarcastically: Thanks for pointing it out, ya heffer]
Quote from: zythyra on July 05, 2007, 11:55:40 AM
Don't forget to send those royalty checks ;D Hmmmm, I'm getting an idea here, I could outsource, a franchise, next thing you know there will be millions of zythyrae roaming the earth in their gender variant splendor, all sending me quarterly payments. LOL >:D
So what is the going rate for opening a Z's franchise these days? I've got some great ideas for merchandise...Black and Decker Nail Polish...Makita Perfume...Mary Kay hand cleaner (with pumice)
Rebecca,
It sounds like the name thing may be settling down. I'm glad for you. I had one question though, does "Foggy Bottom Becky" refer to a geograpical location or is it a description of your anatomy? In either case, I like it.
I agree with Zythyra that it is difficult to express yourself in a way that society understands. It seems that if you wear mixed-gendered clothing, you get lumped into the effeminate male or masculine woman category...neither of which are correct.
....Laurry
QuoteSo what is the going rate for opening a Z's franchise these days? I've got some great ideas for merchandise...Black and Decker Nail Polish...Makita Perfume...Mary Kay hand cleaner (with pumice)
Laurry,
I think you'll be an excellent representative for z products, hmmm, maybe let's call it zStuff ;D You'll be pleased to know that our million sellers get a purple prius pickup truck ;D
QuoteI agree with Zythyra that it is difficult to express yourself in a way that society understands. It seems that if you wear mixed-gendered clothing, you get lumped into the effeminate male or masculine woman category...neither of which are correct.
What's always been interesting to me is how loud the silence is regarding gender variant presentation.
zythyra
Quote from: zythyra on July 05, 2007, 04:04:12 PM
What's always been interesting to me is how loud the silence is regarding gender variant presentation.
zythyra
[sound of crickets chirping]
If you like the name Rebecca, you should just keep it. I was gonna suggest "Rebis" (from the Doom Patrol comics. When superhero Negative Man, a white guy otherwise known as Larry Trainor, meets Negative Woman, he ends up merged, body and soul, with a black woman, Dr. Eleanor Poole, and the two of them form Rebis, the divine hermaphrodite. Who eventually impregnates hirself, produces an egg, gets killed, and hatches fully grown from hir own egg) as a nice androgynous variant on Rebecca.
It seems to me that when transsexual people write books about their lives as transsexuals, they very often say that the culmination of their journey is not living as and being accepted as their self-identified gender, but comes some time after that, when living in that comfortable space of being the men or women they knew themselves to be leads to an even more comfortable feeling of having escaped or transcended gender boundries so they are finally themselves firstly and men or women secondly. Or neither, as in Kate Bornstien. As for the battle scars, those are in you and don't need to be on you body. You don't have to get a tattoo to have been to Jerusalem, nor do you have to go to Jerusalem to get a tattoo.
Hi Doc,
Rebis sounds intriguing. I'll think about it.
What is this 'fetish' you seem to have with tattoos? :laugh:
By the way, I told another person about me yesterday and she was happy for me. She said it must feel wonderful. I think she meant it must feel wonderful being different and being comfortable with it.
hi for what its worth i like the name Rebecca, its a good name but at the end of the day its just a name. i spent all my childhood being called smod by everyone at school and outside it and by the end of it found it hard to realise someone was talking to me when they used my real name. still find it strange when they do as very few people actully use your name in day to day life. i dont really like mine (scott) but have a name that you can not really shorten or alter so had to come up with another one which was the female name that my mum was gonig to use if i was a girl (kerri), so i thought it was apt also i felt it suited me. this as been great online though now i come to move away from presenting as female its hard to get things changed over to represent how i feel now. also as it sounds better with the female part infront of the male it is a female name not a male one or inbetween (kerri scott) at this point i gave up, my partner is trying to get me to use scotty but then i sound like a dog. so i dont know what else to do.
Quote from: sparkles on July 07, 2007, 12:49:15 AM
hi for what its worth i like the name Rebecca, its a good name but at the end of the day its just a name. i spent all my childhood being called smod by everyone at school and outside it and by the end of it found it hard to realise someone was talking to me when they used my real name. still find it strange when they do as very few people actully use your name in day to day life. i dont really like mine (scott) but have a name that you can not really shorten or alter so had to come up with another one which was the female name that my mum was gonig to use if i was a girl (kerri), so i thought it was apt also i felt it suited me. this as been great online though now i come to move away from presenting as female its hard to get things changed over to represent how i feel now. also as it sounds better with the female part infront of the male it is a female name not a male one or inbetween (kerri scott) at this point i gave up, my partner is trying to get me to use scotty but then i sound like a dog. so i dont know what else to do.
better hope they don't recommend "smoddy" ;D