Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Cindy on January 21, 2014, 11:30:45 AM

Title: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Cindy on January 21, 2014, 11:30:45 AM
I'm not going to post this just a way of talking

They are with me - again. The hell when I try to sleep

They hurt me so much, can I ever recover. Can I ever love

It still hurts. I'm good. I'm strong, come on girl you can do it. Face it, take it. I'm strong.
I close my eyes and I feel their breath, I feel their lust and their need, I cry a meaningless mewl.

They hurt me.
I'm stronger than this, I'm OK come on honey.

OK good, good girl

I'm Cindy - I'm raw, I hurt, I'm strong, I'm weak

I'm me

I shouldn't post this
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Sarah Louise on January 21, 2014, 11:31:44 AM
:)
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: suzifrommd on January 21, 2014, 12:32:21 PM
Lots of hugs to you. We're all here if you need us.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Adam (birkin) on January 21, 2014, 12:40:12 PM
You are strong, Cindy, even when you don't feel like you are. There are very few people I've met who carry themselves with as much poise, dignity, and pride as you do.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: big kim on January 21, 2014, 01:13:18 PM
Hugs sis,PM me if you need to
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Shantel on January 21, 2014, 01:18:37 PM
Love you Cindy, feel free to email me any time your private stuff is safe with me dear!
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: FalseHybridPrincess on January 21, 2014, 02:36:47 PM
Thats really deep and inspiring
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Jamie D on January 21, 2014, 03:04:21 PM
Quote from: Cindy on January 21, 2014, 11:30:45 AM
I'm not going to post this just a way of talking

They are with me - again. The hell when I try to sleep

They hurt me so much, can I ever recover. Can I ever love

It still hurts. I'm good. I'm strong, come on girl you can do it. Face it, take it. I'm strong.
I close my eyes and I feel their breath, I feel their lust and their need, I cry a meaningless mewl.

They hurt me.
I'm stronger than this, I'm OK come on honey.

OK good, good girl

I'm Cindy - I'm raw, I hurt, I'm strong, I'm weak

I'm me

I shouldn't post this

Nope.  You should post it.  Support is a two-way street.  You can't give, give, give, and never receive.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Jerri on January 21, 2014, 03:18:20 PM
well now sister,
as much we turn to you for help pushing our own demons back surely you should never shy from us, sorry to hear they have choosen to visit once again. I know for me one day i can only hope to be half as strong and confident as you, PLEASE never feel that you stand alone. we all have to many to fight alone
stand tall and stand proud sister we are right beside you
Jerri
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Jessica Merriman on January 21, 2014, 03:20:12 PM
Quote from: Cindy on January 21, 2014, 11:30:45 AM
I shouldn't post this

How else is your family supposed to know you need a hug?  :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

Sometimes you are just too strong for your own good! When I tell new members we are here with a shoulder to cry on, I mean you too!

I love you Cindy my sister! :)
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: carrie359 on January 21, 2014, 03:49:48 PM
Cindy hope you feel better.. appreciate you... :)
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Nero on January 21, 2014, 04:35:58 PM
Love you hon.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Asche on January 21, 2014, 04:51:59 PM
Don't know if this helps, but sometimes when my own demons come to stay and just won't go away (like the "man who wasn't there"), I think of Frodo at the end of Return of the King, who continues to feel pain and despair on the anniversaries of his worst wounds.  Our accomplishments don't go away in the dark of the night, but our wounds don't either.

It doesn't make the pain go away (for me), but it does make me feel less alone.  (Wow! Even made-up people can help!)

(If this just makes it worse, PM me and I'll remove it.)
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: calico on January 21, 2014, 05:22:30 PM
Quote from: Jamie D link =topic=158155.msg1341970#msg1341970 date=1390338261
Nope.  You should post it.  Support is a two-way street.  You can't give, give, give, and never receive.

I agree, I am here as well, if you need to talk I have my Skype up, or you can email me  :icon_frown:
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Rachel on January 21, 2014, 07:17:30 PM
Cindy, hugs.

I am sorry for your pain. I am sorry you relive the events. I am sorry it happened.

You are a wonderful woman, full of love and caring for others.

You are important to us and we care about you.

Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 12:32:58 AM
Thank you everyone.

That was one of the worst for quite awhile. In case you didn't notice :laugh:

I'm fine now, happy, facing life and enjoying it.

Hugs to you all

You help me so much

Thank You

Cindy
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Miss_Bungle1991 on January 22, 2014, 12:37:24 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 12:32:58 AM
I'm fine now, happy, facing life and enjoying it.

That's good to hear! :)
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Adam (birkin) on January 22, 2014, 01:28:46 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 12:32:58 AM
I'm fine now, happy, facing life and enjoying it.

I'm glad, Cindy. Of course you are allowed to be down and we are always here to try to help prop you up, but you deserve to be happy. You deserve to enjoy every possible moment!
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 01:55:47 AM
You people are just incredible!

I am so glad to be transgender so that I had the opportunity to know all of you.

Thank you
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: LordKAT on January 22, 2014, 01:56:56 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 01:55:47 AM
You people are just incredible!

I am so glad to be transgender so that I had the opportunity to know all of you.

Thank you

I knew I had a use, just never thought of that one.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 02:08:17 AM
Quote from: LordKAT on January 22, 2014, 01:56:56 AM
I knew I had a use, just never thought of that one.

Oh you are also a bad example!!! :-*
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: LordKAT on January 22, 2014, 02:12:17 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 02:08:17 AM
Oh you are also a bad example!!! :-*

Someone has to be, for comparison porpoises.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Ms Grace on January 22, 2014, 02:45:57 AM
Sorry to hear you were down, hon - but really glad you're on the up again. Those demons can be a real black dog bitch, that's for sure! :)
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 03:31:39 AM
How I feel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uVQxSFG-ahk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uVQxSFG-ahk)

Thank you
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Jayne on January 22, 2014, 07:32:35 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 01:55:47 AM


I am so glad to be transgender so that I had the opportunity to know all of you.


Please don't use the past tense as it makes it sound like you're planning on leaving us. You're an inspiration to us all & should you ever need help then we're all here for you as you've been for us.
Title: Re: The wee small hours - my demons
Post by: Shantel on January 22, 2014, 08:50:42 AM
Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2014, 03:31:39 AM
How I feel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uVQxSFG-ahk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uVQxSFG-ahk)

Thank you

I get that, it does say it like it is for a lot of us Cinders. xox ~Shan~