has anyone ever thought about this? I am just trying to find myself and cant put a finger on why I am the way I am. Sorry if this is inappropriate but when I think of sex with a man as a boy its feels wrong but when I think about sex in the female roll I want it so bad. I don't know if I was born a woman in a mans body or if I want to be a woman to match my sexual desires...this sucks with life was more easy :(
I never thought about having sex with a man as a man as being gross. In fact, I thought it was very beautiful! Yet, I can tell you that when I was with a guy I imagined myself as a woman. Yet, sex isn't the only time I thought of myself as a female more than a male.
This is kinda missleading...
as you may have heard , gender and sex are different things...
Do you want to become a woman just to be able to have sex with guys?
or do you want to become a woman because you feel that this is how you are supposed to live you life etc...
My advice would be to forget about the sexual aspect of this and think about everything else...
It would be so much easier to just be a gay guy than a transwoman. Most MAABs who like guys don't even think about transitioning.
Quote from: FalsePrincess on February 17, 2014, 01:58:35 PM
This is kinda missleading...
as you may have heard , gender and sex are different things...
Do you want to become a woman just to be able to have sex with guys?
or do you want to become a woman because you feel that this is how you are supposed to live you life etc...
My advice would be to forget about the sexual aspect of this and think about everything else...
Not trying to be misleading. I just don't know who I am. Trying to find answers in this life. Many times a day I wish I was a woman. I see beautiful girls and I wish I was them. I cant figure out if I am a girl in a mans body or if I just want to be a girl for the sexual aspect of it. If it was just for the sexual part I wouldn't transition I would just imagine myself a girl while with a man. but as I get older I need to find out so if I am a woman I can start my transition and have OK results.
kg85621
A very strong suggestion is to find a good therapist that deals with gender issues. Please do not self diagnosis and seek out the help.
This will help you on your true path in life so much you will be thankful you did.
Isabell
Quote from: kg85621 on February 17, 2014, 02:04:21 PMNot trying to be misleading. I just don't know who I am. Trying to find answers in this life. Many times a day I wish I was a woman. I see beautiful girls and I wish I was them. I cant figure out if I am a girl in a mans body or if I just want to be a girl for the sexual aspect of it. If it was just for the sexual part I wouldn't transition I would just imagine myself a girl while with a man. but as I get older I need to find out so if I am a woman I can start my transition and have OK results.
Suppose you were the last person on Earth, with a machine that was able to allow you to become whoever you wanted to be. There was no one around to see, no one around to have intimate relationships with. Would you use that machine? And if so, what would the outcome be?
Quote from: Sephirah on February 17, 2014, 02:08:06 PM
Suppose you were the last person on Earth, with a machine that was able to allow you to become whoever you wanted to be. There was no one around to see, no one around to have intimate relationships with. Would you use that machine? And if so, what would the outcome be?
I would come back as Scarlet Johansson haha ;D. I would become a beautiful woman. That's what I know.
many times as a kid I would dream/pray I would wake up a girl. I was so jealous of my older sister with her life style and her friends and everything she could wear. :-\
I agree with the above poster. I always thought about sex with guys as a boy as a nice, and was actually fairly turned on by the idea of gay male sex. As a girl, my role is a non factor. I'm just thinking about him, what he looks like, smells like, etc.
I agree with what someone else said, take sexuality out of the equation. I honestly think this idea that people have gender issues because they think it's wrong to like guys is ridiculous. It makes no sense and it's a very gay male centric view point that trivializes ->-bleeped-<-, which is honestly usually a more fundamental issue than ones sexuality. So it feels like people reverse the order. Especially since in these cases the gender issues usually come first.
I honestly think it's just something some people that identify as gay males say so they don't have to face their gender. I think they switch it around and get it ass backward...they don't wana be female cuz they're afraid to be gay, they wana be gay cuz they're afraid to be transgender. Just mho..
I would of gone gay a long time ago if sex and gender were the same
Quote from: kg85621 on February 17, 2014, 02:13:31 PM
I would come back as Scarlet Johansson haha ;D. I would become a beautiful woman. That's what I know.
many times as a kid I would dream/pray I would wake up a girl. I was so jealous of my older sister with her life style and her friends and everything she could wear. :-\
From your post I cannot help but conclude that you are 100% full female...
happy transitioning chica!
Quote from: kg85621 on February 17, 2014, 02:13:31 PM
I would come back as Scarlet Johansson haha ;D. I would become a beautiful woman. That's what I know.
many times as a kid I would dream/pray I would wake up a girl. I was so jealous of my older sister with her life style and her friends and everything she could wear. :-\
Interesting answer, hon.
What, specifically, did she have that you felt you couldn't? What do you mean by her lifestyle?
Quote from: Sephirah on February 17, 2014, 02:49:59 PM
Interesting answer, hon.
What, specifically, did she have that you felt you couldn't? What do you mean by her lifestyle?
maybe lifestyle was a bad word. I mean by her slumber parties, they way she would talk on the phone and gossip, her boy band craze. things like that. what she had that I felt I couldn't have were a couple obvious things ;). I want her wardrobe her makeup. I wanted to be able to lounge around home alone in her undergarments. I know that sounds weird. I just wanted to wear women stuff I guess
Try to get a good therapist if possible. It can be very helpful. But you still have to deal with this yourself and decide what is best for you. I recognize many things from your first post I can identify with
I would try to separate the sexual aspect of it. Being jealous of your sister. My first gender experiences were as child before I even know what sex was let alone ever heard anything about transgender. I get the envy all the time without sex even crossing my mind.
Sex with a man as a man does not do much for me. Maybe physically but not much mentally. Having sex with a man as a male would make me get feelings of dysmorphia. I just dont want to be a dude. Being gay would not involve the complexities of gender identity , transitioning and possible surgeries and so on. And depending on the other person he might not even be into girls. Also there is no girl you can be jealous of so it gets even more bland.
My attraction has changed from women to bi curious to probably bi. Lately I am questioning if I am even sexually attracted to women that much.
Quote from: kg85621 on February 17, 2014, 03:05:43 PM
maybe lifestyle was a bad word. I mean by her slumber parties, they way she would talk on the phone and gossip, her boy band craze. things like that. what she had that I felt I couldn't have were a couple obvious things ;). I want her wardrobe her makeup. I wanted to be able to lounge around home alone in her undergarments. I know that sounds weird. I just wanted to wear women stuff I guess
It doesn't sound weird, hon.
So you were jealous of her freedom to be herself?
Sorry for all the questions, I do think you should look at a good therapist, as has been stated. I'm just naturally curious.
One last question, something for you to think about, maybe.
Do you feel that, if you were in your sister's place, you would be like she is? If not, how would you be different?
I wish you luck. Therapy is all kinds of helpful for many people... but a word of caution: It is not a therapist's job to decide what you should or should not do. If you need to transition you will know.
Hey op,
It seems you are on the path to self discovery which is always a good thing. These things can be confusing and it's good that you are thinking about this before taking action. My only opinion I have to provide is that I agree with the advice other have shared above. One thing I do want to say is that it may be an awful mistake to change your gender to match sexual orientation if there is nothing else to it. That's why I think it's important to look inward and find who you are and what you want out of life.
Now, as someone who identifies as a straight women, I can understand some of what you say. Personally, I've always been attracted to men and have found the idea of intimacy appealing regardless of my appearance. To me, I'm mearly a women on the inside that happens to like men. What's on my outside doesn't change my internal feelings. That being said, I have many hang ups that make intimacy/dating very difficult. It's hard to explain but I have a lot of insecurities about my body and would feel scared about how someone might react to it. If I met the right guy who understood me that I feel comfortable with, and didn't care about my "area" or feel that I'm unattractive because I'm trans, I think I would feel fine, but that doesn't sound like an easy find. Because I'm pre-op transexual who is still in the middle of her transition, I do worry that guys won't like me or understand who I am which makes me sad. Had I been born differently, it wouldn't be a problem. So, I can understand how you may feel uncomfortable with having a male appearance/presentation and how that may ruin how you experience your orientation. Appearances can help us with our own inner confidence or makes us feel more uncomfortable if we are unhappy with it. Therefore, I can understand how appearances can play a role in how comfortable we are with intimacy/dating as that is very natural concern, but I don't see how it define or alter or sexual orientation if that's what you meant.
In any case, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. The only thing I would say is that you should try to separate the sexuality portion to ensure your gender dysphoria goes beyond it. Like how would you wish you could live your daily life? How do you want people to see you as a human? What do you want out of life? Who are you on the inside? Hopefully that should get you somewhere.
And lastly, no matter what your gender identity or sexuality happens to be, it's allright to be you. It's okay to be gay, bi, straight just like it's okay to be transgender or cisgender. Just make sure you are following your heart and find inner peace. We all deserve happiness and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.
Good luck on your journey! :)