Prom is coming up and everyone is talking about it in school and some are even doing promposals, and I mean at first I didn't care to go but every since people have been posting prom 2k14 pics and being told to ask the same girl I've been talking to, to prom its making me want to go but I can't because my mom won't let me wear a tux and she doesn't know I like girls, So I'm screwed, I like getting formal and stuff and the worst part about it is I know this girl would go to prom with me, It just sucks that I have to miss out on every damn thing my mom doesn't even think I'm interested in going to prom. Anyways this is just a rant I guess
i thought you were living with your dad now? you mentioned it in a previous post. if you want to do it your way...there is a way. just change at school. have a tux in your locker or have a buddy bring it for you and you change there. there's a lot of ways around these things you just need to be a bit more creative. when i went to this thing for transgender people, there was this woman who wore her male clothes outside of the group and when she came to the meetings, she would put on her women clothing. a lot of people do it and you could too. you shouldn't let your mom make you miss out on your prom because she doesn't want you to be who you are.
as i think of it i rather not go then not be able to be myself. i wouldn't be happy or comfortable and it would just be a miserable experience all around. if your mom wants pics, tell her you're just going with a group of friends and they'll meet you there and that way you don't have to explain about a date or have pics with your "date." the worst you'll have is pics of you in a dress or w/e which i know is horrible but it's the price we pay sometimes.
Could you go to her house and get changed for prom there? If you really want to do something there's always a way around it.
If you don't go then it's not the end of the world either. You'll forget about it soon enough. I can barely remember most of my prom and that wasn't even two years ago.
I mean yea but I don't like sneaking around and hiding stuff, And besides I want pics and all that, It's prom and just because you might not care about it doesn't mean I don't
Quote from: invisiblemonsters on April 05, 2014, 12:04:15 AM
i thought you were living with your dad now? you mentioned it in a previous post. if you want to do it your way...there is a way. just change at school. have a tux in your locker or have a buddy bring it for you and you change there. there's a lot of ways around these things you just need to be a bit more creative. when i went to this thing for transgender people, there was this woman who wore her male clothes outside of the group and when she came to the meetings, she would put on her women clothing. a lot of people do it and you could too. you shouldn't let your mom make you miss out on your prom because she doesn't want you to be who you are.
as i think of it i rather not go then not be able to be myself. i wouldn't be happy or comfortable and it would just be a miserable experience all around. if your mom wants pics, tell her you're just going with a group of friends and they'll meet you there and that way you don't have to explain about a date or have pics with your "date." the worst you'll have is pics of you in a dress or w/e which i know is horrible but it's the price we pay sometimes.
Are proms are never held at school only homecomong and winterfest is, And I said I'm not going to move with him yet, I'm going to wait.
Hey man I don't have advice but I do just want to say I totally get how you feel. I feel like one day I'll regret not going to prom, but if I can't go in a tux, I'm not going. My school is an all-girls' school, and so I'm not going to do that. (Though I'm 90% sure my mom wouldn't let me rent a tux anyways.) I keep getting really upset that clothes are the biggest reason I don't want to go, but I am just not ready to wear a tux around those people :/
Quote from: CursedFireDean on April 05, 2014, 09:12:27 AM
Hey man I don't have advice but I do just want to say I totally get how you feel. I feel like one day I'll regret not going to prom, but if I can't go in a tux, I'm not going. My school is an all-girls' school, and so I'm not going to do that. (Though I'm 90% sure my mom wouldn't let me rent a tux anyways.) I keep getting really upset that clothes are the biggest reason I don't want to go, but I am just not ready to wear a tux around those people :/
Yea I mean I wanted to go senior year but all my friends were like you should ask this girl I like to prom, And like I said the bad part about it is that I know she would go with me. I wish I was just normal so I didn't have to miss out on life. I don't like sneaking around and stuff, I already wore a shirt and tie and vest to homecoming but it was semi formal and I snuck the vest and tie out, A tux has alot of pieces, I just don't like hiding stuff but are school is boys and girls so idk...
As long as it doesn't put you in danger, I think you should go. Just go as Brandon. Don't fake like you're going to wear a dress [waste of money, that is] and just tell your mom you're going to prom and change into a tux at your friend's house. If your mom asks, you can tell her, but if she doesn't ask, then you don't need to tell her. Get prom pictures from your date's parents when you pick her up.
Honestly, your mom is going to have to accept this idea sooner or later, so why not sooner? It's not quite the same but in high school I wanted to dye my hair black. My mom didn't approve, but I did it at a friend's house anyway. At the end of the day, it's your body and your life and you shouldn't miss out on things that are important to you just to please other people, even if that person is your mother.
Quote from: Whynaut on April 05, 2014, 10:12:52 AM
As long as it doesn't put you in danger, I think you should go. Just go as Brandon. Don't fake like you're going to wear a dress [waste of money, that is] and just tell your mom you're going to prom and change into a tux at your friend's house. If your mom asks, you can tell her, but if she doesn't ask, then you don't need to tell her. Get prom pictures from your date's parents when you pick her up.
Honestly, your mom is going to have to accept this idea sooner or later, so why not sooner? It's not quite the same but in high school I wanted to dye my hair black. My mom didn't approve, but I did it at a friend's house anyway. At the end of the day, it's your body and your life and you shouldn't miss out on things that are important to you just to please other people, even if that person is your mother.
I mean I see your point but my mom has to meet her parents before I can even hang out with her outside of school, Because even though the girl accepts me as a guy I gotta make sure her parents do, This is why everything is so complicated I will never be able to live normal, And trust me my mom will never accept me I come from a highly religious home she doesn't even know I like girls and I'm not grown yet, And as I already stated I hate hiding things, But the plan would work if her parents accept me., If only mine did it would make things a hell of alot easier.
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 10:23:29 AM
I mean I see your point but my mom has to meet her parents before I can even hang out with her outside of school, Because even though the girl accepts me as a guy I gotta make sure her parents do, This is why everything is so complicated I will never be able to live normal, And trust me my mom will never accept me I come from a highly religious home she doesn't even know I like girls and I'm not grown yet, And as I already stated I hate hiding things, But the plan would work if her parents accept me., If only mine did it would make things a hell of alot easier.
I guess my opinion is that if my mom will never accept me, I shouldn't waste time trying to please her now. At this point I would just start living my life how I want. If you think there's a chance she will accept you, I think this is a great place to start.
Could you try meeting her parents by yourself at first?
Quote from: Whynaut on April 05, 2014, 10:33:56 AM
I guess my opinion is that if my mom will never accept me, I shouldn't waste time trying to please her now. At this point I would just start living my life how I want. If you think there's a chance she will accept you, I think this is a great place to start.
Could you try meeting her parents by yourself at first?
I mean yea at school I could but she's going to introduce me as Brandon and as a boy who happens to be her friend, And if my mom meets her she's gonna call me by what she named me and she's gonna call me her daughter, Thats gonna b weird for the girl and her parents, Even though I'm sure the girl will understand but still....idk but I know my mom will never accept me.
I don't really see this topic going anywhere. You're not going to do anything we suggest.
Bottom line is who cares what your mom thinks. live without regret (go to prom), or live with it (don't go to prom).
Quote from: Alexthecat on April 05, 2014, 10:45:00 AM
I don't really see this topic going anywhere. You're not going to do anything we suggest.
Bottom line is who cares what your mom thinks. live without regret (go to prom), or live with it (don't go to prom).
Well you don't know my mother and how she is about certain things.
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 10:41:24 AM
I mean yea at school I could but she's going to introduce me as Brandon and as a boy who happens to be her friend, And if my mom meets her she's gonna call me by what she named me and she's gonna call me her daughter, Thats gonna b weird for the girl and her parents, Even though I'm sure the girl will understand but still....idk but I know my mom will never accept me.
To me, it sounds like your best bet for enjoying prom is not including your mom in the decision or the process.and it's entirely reasonable for someone to take a girl to prom without having everyone's parents meet. I went to homecoming and met my date when I got there. Maybe it isn't your ideal situation, but it's still a situation where you could enjoy being yourself. If you want to have a more serious relationship with this girl, then you can start exploring the idea of coming out to her and her family. Until then, just enjoy your dance.
If your friend is accepting then explain the situation to her and ask her to introduce you to her parents as a female friend. It's not the best situation but it would get you to prom.
I never said that I didn't care about it, just that it wasn't something that made a big impact on my life in a few years time. It's important at the time, but in the grand scheme of life? Nah.
Quote from: lxndr on April 05, 2014, 11:00:26 AM
If your friend is accepting then explain the situation to her and ask her to introduce you to her parents as a female friend. It's not the best situation but it would get you to prom.
I never said that I didn't care about it, just that it wasn't something that made a big impact on my life in a few years time. It's important at the time, but in the grand scheme of life? Nah.
She already sees me as a guy and she already knows I'm trans, That would be awkward for her to introduc me as something I'm not and I'm a 100% sure someone in her family knows about me so thats a no no it would be awkward like I said.
Quote from: Whynaut on April 05, 2014, 10:54:46 AM
To me, it sounds like your best bet for enjoying prom is not including your mom in the decision or the process. If you're going to prom, you're at least 16 years old, and it's entirely reasonable for someone who is 16 to take a girl to prom without having everyone's parents meet. I went to homecoming and met my date when I got there. Maybe it isn't your ideal situation, but it's still a situation where you could enjoy being yourself. If you want to have a more serious relationship with this girl, then you can start exploring the idea of coming out to her and her family. Until then, just enjoy your dance.
I'm not 16, I came out to her already but she already knew and she's 100% straight, but she's very accepting and not Judgemental, And she already knows I'm interested in her as more than friends but she wants to talk and hangout more, Were still trying to get to know eachother so thats not a problem, Its wheather or not her parents are as accepting as she is. And because I like her and she's a freshman, I kinda wanna be with her not go seperate she doesn't know alot of the upperclassmen really.
It's awkward I know, my girlfriend is the only one in my village who knows me as Alex and she's always having to remember what name to use to people, but if she really cares about you she'll realise that it's a bit of awkwardness for the best. Is there anyone else that you can get changed around? About half of the people going to my prom met up before hand to get changed and chill out before going there.
Hey, Brandon. Sounds like you feel stuck and that there is no way around this. I would suggest hoping that things will be different next year (that you can maybe go to prom in a tux with a girl), and just accept that things won't work for this year. I completely understand just simply not being able to work around your mom.
It wouldn't have worked out for me to just say I was going to prom and not have my parents (mom) involved in the proces. This wouldn't be because they are jerks, it is just that they simply wouldn't have understood why they wouldn't be involved in helping me get a dress, pictures with my date, etc.
I think that there is great diversity here on the forum around the level of independence/separateness people have from their parents. When people post about wanting a male haircut for example when their parents won't let them, some guys suggest people just go and do it. That never would have worked in my world. It just wouldn't have. I can't even imagine going around my parents that way back when I was a teen (this was 20+ years ago). I would drink, smoke cigarrettes and stuff like that behind their backs, but I can't imagine just getting a male cut and thumbing my nose up at them.
Anyway, I get how you feel stuck in a lot of different ways due to your circumstances, is all I am saying. I would suggest keep looking and focusing on the future when you are on your own and can do what you want. Don't dwell on what you can't do right now. It is only a couple of years until you can do what you want. Just date the girl on the side and don't meet her parents. Meet her at movies with groups of people. That kind of thing so that you can spend time with her.
Also, I am a bit suprised that your mom doesn't know you like girls. She knows you are FTM right? I am surprised you would tell her that, but not the liking girls part.
Look towards your freedom to be you in the future, and hang in there until then.
Quote from: Brett on April 05, 2014, 12:33:38 PM
Hey, Brandon. Sounds like you feel stuck and that there is no way around this. I would suggest hoping that things will be different next year (that you can maybe go to prom in a tux with a girl), and just accept that things won't work for this year. I completely understand just simply not being able to work around your mom.
It wouldn't have worked out for me to just say I was going to prom and not have my parents (mom) involved in the proces. This wouldn't be because they are jerks, it is just that they simply wouldn't have understood why they wouldn't be involved in helping me get a dress, pictures with my date, etc.
I think that there is great diversity here on the forum around the level of independence/separateness people have from their parents. When people post about wanting a male haircut for example when their parents won't let them, some guys suggest people just go and do it. That never would have worked in my world. It just wouldn't have. I can't even imagine going around my parents that way back when I was a teen (this was 20+ years ago). I would drink, smoke cigarrettes and stuff like that behind their backs, but I can't imagine just getting a male cut and thumbing my nose up at them.
Anyway, I get how you feel stuck in a lot of different ways due to your circumstances, is all I am saying. I would suggest keep looking and focusing on the future when you are on your own and can do what you want. Don't dwell on what you can't do right now. It is only a couple of years until you can do what you want. Just date the girl on the side and don't meet her parents. Meet her at movies with groups of people. That kind of thing so that you can spend time with her.
Also, I am a bit suprised that your mom doesn't know you like girls. She knows you are FTM right? I am surprised you would tell her that, but not the liking girls part.
Look towards your freedom to be you in the future, and hang in there until then.
Yea I know I'm just tired of not being able to enjoy myself at all, and my mom is still going to have to meet her mom for us to be able to do anything outside of school which I want to be able to but everything is just to damn complicated
Quote from: Alexthecat on April 05, 2014, 10:45:00 AM
I don't really see this topic going anywhere. You're not going to do anything we suggest.
Bottom line is who cares what your mom thinks. live without regret (go to prom), or live with it (don't go to prom).
He did say it was only a rant, so it doesn't necessarily need to go anywhere.
It really does suck. And I get how it is to be stuck. I now have no contact with my family and that hurts but it is so much better. But I wasn't able to do that when I was your age. There would have been no way. All I can tell you is that things get better. I know that doesn't help now. I think it's good for you to rant, but I hope you can hold onto some hope too. My life is sooooo much better now. I actually went to prom in a dress. I hated it. But it's ok, that was the past and there have been so many more opportunities. So go ahead and vent but try to hold onto to some hope, ok?
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 01:01:46 PM
Yea I know I'm just tired of not being able to enjoy myself at all, and my mom is still going to have to meet her mom for us to be able to do anything outside of school which I want to be able to but everything is just to damn complicated
I get it. That is why I am suggesting you get together as a group outside of school. Like some of your buddies and some girls meeting at a movie or something. It wouldn't be lying if you only mentioned the guys' names. Plus, you don't have to tell her you like one of the girls. Is there a hang out, like the mall or something, you guys go to in the evenings? That is what I mean. You must hang outside of school with your friends, somewhere. Maybe she has female friends she can meet in the same spot. Get your parents to drop you off/friends to pick you up?
Thanks what I mean. Just trying to figure out a way for you to see her without you mom/her mom needing to know you guys like each other romantically.
Quote from: Brett on April 05, 2014, 01:31:28 PM
I get it. That is why I am suggesting you get together as a group outside of school. Like some of your buddies and some girls meeting at a movie or something. It wouldn't be lying if you only mentioned the guys' names. Plus, you don't have to tell her you like one of the girls. Is there a hang out, like the mall or something, you guys go to in the evenings? That is what I mean. You must hang outside of school with your friends, somewhere. Maybe she has female friends she can meet in the same spot. Get your parents to drop you off/friends to pick you up?
Thanks what I mean. Just trying to figure out a way for you to see her without you mom/her mom needing to know you guys like each other romantically.
No I get that but my mom is still gonna have to meet parents, My mom is very strict. I can't just hang out woth anyone outside of school guys or girls.
Man, it's a tough situation. I don't really have any advice for you beyond what other people are suggesting are possible ideas. I do get where you're coming from though, at least a little. I just ended up never going to prom personally, the idea of having to wear a dress was just beyond me (didn't know what trans was back then though). My parents are also highly religious and are not accepting of me at all. Your mom sounds super strict. I hope whatever you end up doing works out okay for you, man.
Quote from: tomboy on April 05, 2014, 01:26:00 PM
It really does suck. And I get how it is to be stuck. I now have no contact with my family and that hurts but it is so much better. But I wasn't able to do that when I was your age. There would have been no way. All I can tell you is that things get better. I know that doesn't help now. I think it's good for you to rant, but I hope you can hold onto some hope too. My life is sooooo much better now. I actually went to prom in a dress. I hated it. But it's ok, that was the past and there have been so many more opportunities. So go ahead and vent but try to hold onto to some hope, ok?
I get that yes, And I understand it will get better but, It doesn't stop me from being alittle upset.
Quote from: Evan of Spades on April 05, 2014, 01:44:49 PM
Man, it's a tough situation. I don't really have any advice for you beyond what other people are suggesting are possible ideas. I do get where you're coming from though. I just ended up never going to prom personally, the idea of having to wear a dress was just beyond me (didn't know what trans was back then though). Your mom sounds super strict. I hope whatever you end up doing works out okay for you, man.
Thanks man.
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 01:41:48 PM
No I get that but my mom is still gonna have to meet parents, My mom is very strict. I can't just hang out woth anyone outside of school guys or girls.
Wow, things are strict for you. Sounds like you don't get to hang outside of school with your friends then, huh?
Quote from: Brett on April 05, 2014, 02:11:43 PM
Wow, things are strict for you. Sounds like you don't get to hang outside of school with your friends then, huh?
I can but my mom has to meet everyones parents first, But it can be awkward with someone you like, I'm gonna have them meet though because I wanna take her to the movies and such.
Just out of curiosity, has it occurred to you to rebel even a little? At all? You know, like most kids do at some point in their lives? Not to start anything, but you do seem awful intent on playing by everyone else's rules.
Quote from: Frank on April 05, 2014, 02:48:45 PM
Just out of curiosity, has it occurred to you to rebel even a little? At all? You know, like most kids do at some point in their lives? Not to start anything, but you do seem awful intent on playing by everyone else's rules.
First of all man I try not to be disobediant second of all you don't know my mom she is very strict, And because my mom gives me alot more freedom I tend to not rebel you only rebel if you have no freedom. You guys don't get it, Only one pwerson got it, I'm not the rebellious type anyways
Quote from: Brett on April 05, 2014, 12:33:38 PM
Also, I am a bit suprised that your mom doesn't know you like girls. She knows you are FTM right? I am surprised you would tell her that, but not the liking girls part.
This ^ That honestly baffles me.
I'm sorry you are in this situation. The only thing I can think of is to pay your mom to let you be able to wear a tux, no questions asked. It's a little extreme, but worth a shot if you have the money to do such a thing.
Quote from: Malachite on April 05, 2014, 03:01:35 PM
This ^ That honestly baffles me.
I'm sorry you are in this situation. The only thing I can think of is to pay your mom to let you be able to wear a tux, no questions asked. It's a little extreme, but worth a shot if you have the money to do such a thing.
She would be upset, She thinks I'm a girl so she would think its gay which she doesn't accept either. She's just gonna tell me no anyways.
I don't know. Perhaps if you threw $100 or $200 her way, she might turn the other way for one night. If that doesn't work still, then maybe have her consider a female tuxedo?
Quote from: Malachite on April 05, 2014, 03:35:51 PM
I don't know. Perhaps if you threw $100 or $200 her way, she might turn the other way for one night. If that doesn't work still, then maybe have her consider a female tuxedo?
No because I would still have a date Its not like I would be just going with friends and such I'm a boy so I pefer the male tux, But idk thoughshe's not gonna approve of me in a tux or who I would like to take because I like her.
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 03:42:24 PM
No because I would still have a date Its not like I would be just going with friends and such I'm a boy so I pefer the male tux, But idk thoughshe's not gonna approve of me in a tux or who I would like to take because I like her.
What about your Michael Jackson impersonation suit?
Tell your mom you're going to get ready at a friends house, and that you and a few people are just going as friends. Buy a dress if you have to (sth super cheap) and then try to find some money for a tux (I don't know if you have your own source of money? or if you could scrounge some up some way before prom). If this girl is understanding of your situation she may be on board with understanding that you come to her house in a dress and change. Your mom may also understand that you might want to change into your dress later on, and let you wear your normal clothes and just bring the dress along with you. Throw a suit in the same bag (doesn't really have to be a tux does it, though I guess it'd be nice), and just change into that instead. If your mom asks for pictures or anything... well who cares its already over and you had your great night.
I didn't go to prom. Didn't want to though. I went to a sick music festival instead =] me and my friend had the time of our lives, while our other friends had a not-so-great time at prom. Literally we felt bad talking about the show because I'm pretty sure they got busted drinking or smoking or both. Its not a decision I regret, but it sounds like one you might.
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 03:27:31 PM
She would be upset, She thinks I'm a girl so she would think its gay which she doesn't accept either. She's just gonna tell me no anyways.
Ok, so to clarify:
Your mom doesn't know you like girls and your mom doesn't know that you're FTM? Is this correct?
Your Dad knows that you are FTM because you have talked to him about counseling for being trans*. Right?
I just want to make sure we all understand it, 'cause you write a lot of posts looking for advice, so we need to be clear on the background. :)
Quote from: Brandon on April 05, 2014, 01:45:03 PM
I get that yes, And I understand it will get better but, It doesn't stop me from being alittle upset.
Exactly, that's why I said go ahead and vent. You have a reason to be upset. It sucks.
And some of you guys don't get it. I did rebel when I was in my parents house. Partly because I actually try to be a decent person and I thought being a good kid was part of that and partly because it just wouldn't work. For some people it's not like you get put on restriction if you rebel. It's just much more complicated. And some parents can not be reasoned with. And sometimes you just know you have a parent like that.
Quote from: Brett on April 05, 2014, 04:21:02 PM
Ok, so to clarify:
Your mom doesn't know you like girls and your mom doesn't know that you're FTM? Is this correct?
Your Dad knows that you are FTM because you have talked to him about counseling for being trans*. Right?
I just want to make sure we all understand it, 'cause you write a lot of posts looking for advice, so we need to be clear on the background. :)
She knows I'm trans but she doesn't know I like girls., My dad knows both
Quote from: GnomeKid on April 05, 2014, 03:57:44 PM
Tell your mom you're going to get ready at a friends house, and that you and a few people are just going as friends. Buy a dress if you have to (sth super cheap) and then try to find some money for a tux (I don't know if you have your own source of money? or if you could scrounge some up some way before prom). If this girl is understanding of your situation she may be on board with understanding that you come to her house in a dress and change. Your mom may also understand that you might want to change into your dress later on, and let you wear your normal clothes and just bring the dress along with you. Throw a suit in the same bag (doesn't really have to be a tux does it, though I guess it'd be nice), and just change into that instead. If your mom asks for pictures or anything... well who cares its already over and you had your great night.
I didn't go to prom. Didn't want to though. I went to a sick music festival instead =] me and my friend had the time of our lives, while our other friends had a not-so-great time at prom. Literally we felt bad talking about the show because I'm pretty sure they got busted drinking or smoking or both. Its not a decision I regret, but it sounds like one you might.
I don't even think I'm going to prom ecen though I really want to.
Quote from: Malachite on April 05, 2014, 03:48:28 PM
What about your Michael Jackson impersonation suit?
My mom would question and plus I wanna wear a white tux.
Quote from: Brandon on April 04, 2014, 11:00:54 PM
Prom is coming up and everyone is talking about it in school and some are even doing promposals, and I mean at first I didn't care to go but every since people have been posting prom 2k14 pics and being told to ask the same girl I've been talking to, to prom its making me want to go but I can't because my mom won't let me wear a tux and she doesn't know I like girls, So I'm screwed, I like getting formal and stuff and the worst part about it is I know this girl would go to prom with me, It just sucks that I have to miss out on every damn thing my mom doesn't even think I'm interested in going to prom. Anyways this is just a rant I guess
This is incredibly ironic for me because my mother is the exact same way and we were just in a fight over it this morning. Last year I went in a dress and rechanged clothes on the way there. This year however I've already had my outfit tailored and today I'm looking for the gloves and gift I'm going to give my girl.
I know it seems horrible but I suppose the best way is to lie into going. That's what I did and when I went I didn't even think of my mother afterwards.
I went to my junior prom in a dress, but it was kind of a joke. It was neon pink and had duct tape on it.
At that time we were fighting so "girls" could wear pants and gay folks could come with dates.
My senior year I stayed home and watched tank girl.
Whatever you decide, good luck
Quote from: KnifeEar on April 06, 2014, 10:15:57 AM
This is incredibly ironic for me because my mother is the exact same way and we were just in a fight over it this morning. Last year I went in a dress and rechanged clothes on the way there. This year however I've already had my outfit tailored and today I'm looking for the gloves and gift I'm going to give my girl.
I know it seems horrible but I suppose the best way is to lie into going. That's what I did and when I went I didn't even think of my mother afterwards.
I'm not gonna put on a dress at all, I'd still be fustrated because I can't be me so I'm just not gonna go.
Quote from: Brandon on April 06, 2014, 12:21:25 PM
I'm not gonna put on a dress at all, I'd still be fustrated because I can't be me so I'm just not gonna go.
You want to go, don't you? Look at it in the grand scheme of things. You've got another seventy years on your clock. You can make a big deal out of it and not go to something you want to go to just because x (otherwise known as cutting off the nose to spite the face), or you can make do with the solutions given and go and probably have fun. You'll regret the things you didn't do more than what you did do.
Quote from: Frank on April 06, 2014, 04:37:25 PM
You want to go, don't you? Look at it in the grand scheme of things. You've got another seventy years on your clock. You can make a big deal out of it and not go to something you want to go to just because x (otherwise known as cutting off the nose to spite the face), or you can make do with the solutions given and go and probably have fun. You'll regret the things you didn't do more than what you did do.
Well for one your not my mom so if I don't wanna go in a dress or go with any other suggedtions you gave me I shouldn't have to, Why when its still gonna make me mad, I don't like lying at all I just wanna be as normal as possible. Not lie to get my way.
You don't like it when we say "just don't go", you don't like when we say "go in a dress", you don't like it when we say "go in male clothing". What would you like us to suggest? We can't teleport to your mother and magic her into seeing sense, we can only provide suggestions.
(Sorry, posted twice and can't delete from my phone)
Quote from: lxndr on April 06, 2014, 06:00:28 PM
You don't like it when we say "just don't go", you don't like when we say "go in a dress", you don't like it when we say "go in male clothing". What would you like us to suggest? We can't teleport to your mother and magic her into seeing sense, we can only provide suggestions.
No you just don't get it at all.
Explain it then for the people that think you get a kick out of shooting down any idea you ever get from us.
Quote from: Alexthecat on April 06, 2014, 06:20:18 PM
Explain it then for the people that think you get a kick out of shooting down any idea you ever get from us.
I specifically said it was a rant, I'm not gonna sneak around and try to get a tux. You don't know my mom, If you got away with it fine but you forgot I'm black its alot harder on me to get acceptance from my mother she doesn't play that dude, She's strict, The only thing I wish is for her to accept me as her son, but since she's not gone do it, I see I have to miss out on everything.....
Quote from: Brandon on April 06, 2014, 06:36:59 PM
I specifically said it was a rant, I'm not gonna sneak around and try to get a tux. You don't know my mom, If you got away with it fine but you forgot I'm black its alot harder on me to get acceptance from my mother she doesn't play that dude, She's strict, The only thing I wish is for her to accept me as her son, but since she's not gone do it, I see I have to miss out on everything.....
Quote from: Brandon on April 06, 2014, 06:15:44 PM
No you just don't get it at all.
I think we get it. It sucks to have to do this kind of thing at all. It sucks to have to be sneaky to be ourselves for a while. It sucks to have to even think about dealing with our parents on these kinds of issues, and it sucks that we have to in the first place. Does it make anyone feel good to have to do things like move clothes from the boys section to the girls section in hopes their mom will buy it? No, of course not. .....Which mentally takes one down the road of all the other reasons it sucks to be trans...
The thing is other than the listed solutions there really aren't any. You can mope around about that. As a teenager thats kind of your prerogative, but in the end one of those things will happen. Its up to you to choose the one that will make you the least miserable, and the one you will least regret down the road. I think we all know which one that is. You can only minimize regret so much in life. I try to take every chance I get not to.
(also, if you're mom is super strict and knows you're ftm wouldn't she be at least pleased you're a straight boy? just curious)
Rants let out dome frustration to help others understand how to help themselves or are a call to help for themselves. You are the best person to help yourself. Some people cant accept everything given to them. It just doesn't happen that way. You can accept the option given to you. You can weigh them for the rest of your life. It is ultimately up to you what you do. We are simply here to try and help and support whatever way we can. But for the last, what does black have to do with it? If you lived where I do it is completely accepted and you would be more dominating over the whites. Trust me I get beat for being white, pagan, and gay. Acceptance is based on people. Not on race.
Quote from: KnifeEar on April 06, 2014, 06:46:04 PM
Rants let out dome frustration to help others understand how to help themselves or are a call to help for themselves. You are the best person to help yourself. Some people cant accept everything given to them. It just doesn't happen that way. You can accept the option given to you. You can weigh them for the rest of your life. It is ultimately up to you what you do. We are simply here to try and help and support whatever way we can. But for the last, what does black have to do with it? If you lived where I do it is completely accepted and you would be more dominating over the whites. Trust me I get beat for being white, pagan, and gay. Acceptance is based on people. Not on race.
Black people are harder on lgbt, out of all the trans kids and gay kids I see on youtube who have accepting parents are mostly white, Its harder being black and in the lgbt. Your not black so you wouldn't know trust me on that, There are studies even shown about that.
Quote from: GnomeKid on April 06, 2014, 06:44:36 PM
I think we get it. It sucks to have to do this kind of thing at all. It sucks to have to be sneaky to be ourselves for a while. It sucks to have to even think about dealing with our parents on these kinds of issues, and it sucks that we have to in the first place. Does it make anyone feel good to have to do things like move clothes from the boys section to the girls section in hopes their mom will buy it? No, of course not. .....Which mentally takes one down the road of all the other reasons it sucks to be trans...
The thing is other than the listed solutions there really aren't any. You can mope around about that. As a teenager thats kind of your prerogative, but in the end one of those things will happen. Its up to you to choose the one that will make you the least miserable, and the one you will least regret down the road. I think we all know which one that is. You can only minimize regret so much in life. I try to take every chance I get not to.
(also, if you're mom is super strict and knows you're ftm wouldn't she be at least pleased you're a straight boy? just curious)
No because she doesn't think I'm a boy she thinks I'm confused and will never see me as a boy! And yea I don't like sneaking around and having to switch clothes reminds me of everything else thats wrong in my life like having no support, and not being normal because I'm not I'm abnomal.