I ride a major city subway. Even the queer men sit around me. I can tell they are in an attraction state, caught one who was wearing tight white pants, red shoes (totally gay) giving me the gay sultry stare.
Ughhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
I present as androgynous conservatively dressed attire. Nothing flaming at all.
Anyway to change this vibe?
Crop your hair, wear flannel and drive a Subaru?
I know gay men wear an earring on their right ear.
What to the lesbians do? Or is it tattoo's? I'm admittingly new to this. lol.
Evelyn, you are a lipstick lesbian. It just comes with the territory. Forced androgyny can draw all types.
Wear a wedding ring?
Aww, men aren't so bad... OK, the creepy ones have to go, but if you give off a gay guy vibe, that's what you will attract. I remember my andro phase on the train...
The best thing to "wear" to signal that you are a lesbian is a girlfriend.
If you present female in public, you will likely stop attracting gay guys. OK, they won't leave me alone now, but they are seemingly no longer interested in me as a potential lover.
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 18, 2014, 11:17:29 PM
I know gay men wear an earring on their right ear.
What to the lesbians do? Or is it tattoo's? I'm admittingly new to this. lol.
Yeah, the right ear thing was so 70s and 80s.
I have "dyke" tattooed on my forehead. *facepalm*
Quote from: Tori on May 18, 2014, 11:19:39 PM
Evelyn, you are a lipstick lesbian. It just comes with the territory. Forced androgyny can draw all types.
Wear a wedding ring?
I don't know... I want to show I'm single :D
Maybe a mouth piercing? or a lip ring? I see lots of queer gals doing this. Or I think they are queer. They sit around me also. One gal had a silver ball stud piercing on both sides of her cheeks. That was something i never saw before. Another was dressed like a gothic Suicide Girl, lots of tattooo's. She was hot :D But a piercing would be totally 'new' for even me.
Quote from: Jill F on May 18, 2014, 11:25:01 PM
Yeah, the right ear thing was so 70s and 80s.
I have "dyke" tattooed on my forehead. *facepalm*
Yeah that goes to show how much of a sexuality noobie creature I am. :D I must look like a nerdy virgin :-\
Yeah, I have not had an issue with gay guys since I came out. Now we are able to be friends without any of the unwanted sexual attention which I used to attract. My wife indeed helps. So does dressing female. I am not exactly beating the straight men off like flies either. My bi and lesbian friends however, have become a little frisky. Sigh, my wife would kill me if I entertained any of that.
Wear turquoise jewelry while holding a caulking gun!
I mean if you really want an outward display of lesbianisms, you could always go for a cute double female sign necklace or bracelet and just make sure other people can see it if you are feeling uncomfortable with the manly leering. ;D
I'm such a loser. You don't even want the manly leering and I couldn't even get a guy to leer at me to save my life, ha! But women don't leer at me either. So I just draw no attention. *sigh* :P
A rainbow bracelet can work wonders. I call mine 'cougar repellent' ;)
Quote from: L00T on May 18, 2014, 11:35:41 PM
Wear turquoise jewelry while holding a caulking gun!
I mean if you really want an outward display of lesbianisms, you could always go for a cute double female sign necklace or bracelet and just make sure other people can see it if you are feeling uncomfortable with the manly leering. ;D
I'm such a loser. You don't even want the manly leering and I couldn't even get a guy to leer at me to save my life, ha! But women don't leer at me either. So I just draw no attention. *sigh* :P
^^ That's an interesting idea. I quick perusal on ebay for double female sign charms and they sort of look okay. But I was thinking given how stupid the population is in general they probably would assume it's the male sign when not presenting as female. :D
Quote from: greypeacock on May 18, 2014, 11:43:07 PM
A rainbow bracelet can work wonders. I call mine 'cougar repellent' ;)
Nooo...!!! I want cougars too!
is there a way to make men repellent? cuz i'm having the same issue to. lol
Air horn?
lol.
Hey L00T where you kidding about the turquoise jewelry? :D
turquoise is my birth stone so if that works, imma so try it o.o :laugh:
Quote from: Sprite Umiko Liliana on May 18, 2014, 11:49:47 PM
is there a way to make men repellent? cuz i'm having the same issue to. lol
Just try to talk with them about your feelings, how badly you need to take a dump or how they'd make a great baby daddy.
Quote from: Jill F on May 18, 2014, 11:56:04 PM
Just try to talk with them about your feelings, how badly you need to take a dump or how they'd make a great baby daddy.
tried it, it only turns those jerks on even more -.-
Well if your presenting as a feminine looking male what do you expect really? Just tell them no thanks and be done with it. Actually I'm flattered when anybody finds me attractive enough to take time to hit on me. I really don't get the omg I'm a lesbian attitude it's feels good to be attractive and have people want to date you. And to be honest lesbians do get hit on by men too just because a man knows your a lesbian doesn't mean he will be like omg she's a lesbian I can't be attracted to her. Being hit on by men is part of being a woman better get used to it because it will happen more often.
I just want to say that I find nothing complimentary about being hit on by complete strangers. I find it annoying and dumb. In my experience a lot of men will hit on anything female. It's not even based on how physically attractive you are. As a perfect example of this, since changing my gender indicator to female online, I have received a ton of flirtatious messages out of the blue. These are from people who can not see any pictures of me unless I allow them to, and obviously know nothing of my personality or interests. All they see is the basic info on my profile which lists me as female, and this is apparently enough to interest them. What could I possibly find complimentary about this? I find it creepy, to be honest. It makes me feel like they think I'm some sort of piece of meat. And yes, being a lesbian who finds all men icky to begin with certainly doesn't help. :P
I have yet to experience any women acting this way towards me. Only the men.
Quote from: Pikachu on May 19, 2014, 12:52:18 AM
I just want to say that I find nothing complimentary about being hit on by complete strangers. I find it annoying and dumb. In my experience a lot of men will hit on anything female. It's not even based on how physically attractive you are. As a perfect example of this, since changing my gender indicator to female online, I have received a ton of flirtatious messages out of the blue. These are from people who can not see any pictures of me unless I allow them to, and obviously know nothing of my personality or interests. All they see is the basic info on my profile which lists me as female, and this is apparently enough to interest them. What could I possibly find complimentary about this? I find it creepy, to be honest. It makes me feel like they think I'm some sort of piece of meat. And yes, being a lesbian who finds all men icky to begin with certainly doesn't help. :P
I have yet to experience any women acting this way towards me. Only the men.
They're is a big difference between online and real life. I was talking about being hit on in person by men is what I find flattering to see them nervous to talk to you I find it kinda cute. And this is coming from a woman who actually is very wary of men and they frighten me a bit even though I'm attracted to them physically. And the reason you don't see women acting that way towards you is because lesbians don't flirt that way from my experience. ;)
Come on,,,even if guys knew you were a lesbian they d still stare at you or even hit on you!!
It cant be helped...
just be lesbian and proud and let them know you re not interested...
I dunno the lgbt bracelet seems like a good idea...
Quote from: Heather on May 19, 2014, 01:25:28 AM
They're is a big difference between online and real life. I was talking about being hit on in person by men is what I find flattering to see them nervous to talk to you I find it kinda cute. And this is coming from a woman who actually is very wary of men and they frighten me a bit even though I'm attracted to them physically. And the reason you don't see women acting that way towards you is because lesbians don't flirt that way from my experience. ;)
indeed it can be fun...damn it ,they are like little pets who desperately need a girl haha
Do what I do, use the two magic words, "NO THANKS."
Quote from: FalseHybridPrincess on May 19, 2014, 01:27:13 AM
Come on,,,even if guys knew you were a lesbian they d still stare at you or even hit on you!!
It cant be helped...
just be lesbian and proud and let them know you re not interested...
I dunno the lgbt bracelet seems like a good idea...
indeed it can be fun...damn it ,they are like little pets who desperately need a girl haha
Maybe something like this? (eBay)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi61.tinypic.com%2Fxeu6a.jpg&hash=0ca26d28f80bd96a02c31b5913d8c9dac7e33cd5)
Hmm ... I don't know. Maybe. But I would probably do it when presenting female (in 3 more months).
Princess...wanna go full time at that time with me? :D
Any of the following should do the trick...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F9ways.gloriafeldt.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F09%2FAmericablog-nobody-knows-Im-a-lesbian-.jpg&hash=b8f01f3ad32865857bbf82ccbe111bd172368ed9)
(https://img0.etsystatic.com/019/1/6577889/il_340x270.482701956_mdjn.jpg)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage10.spreadshirt.com%2Fimage-server%2Fv1%2Fcompositions%2F107496263%2Fviews%2F1%2Cwidth%3D235%2Cheight%3D235%2CappearanceId%3D196%2FSome-Girls-Marry-Girls.-Get-Over-It%21-T-Shirts.jpg&hash=f6fa632a1d705fec2e4d5837bd101fd224fa4cd4)
^ Yep. lolz!
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 19, 2014, 01:42:51 AM
Princess...wanna go full time at that time with me? :D
you bet I do!
and I also want some of these shirts!
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 19, 2014, 01:47:30 AM
Any of the following should do the trick...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F9ways.gloriafeldt.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F09%2FAmericablog-nobody-knows-Im-a-lesbian-.jpg&hash=b8f01f3ad32865857bbf82ccbe111bd172368ed9)
(https://img0.etsystatic.com/019/1/6577889/il_340x270.482701956_mdjn.jpg)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage10.spreadshirt.com%2Fimage-server%2Fv1%2Fcompositions%2F107496263%2Fviews%2F1%2Cwidth%3D235%2Cheight%3D235%2CappearanceId%3D196%2FSome-Girls-Marry-Girls.-Get-Over-It%21-T-Shirts.jpg&hash=f6fa632a1d705fec2e4d5837bd101fd224fa4cd4)
I was going to say something about that being out as a lesbian can draw even more unwanted attention from men. Then I remembered I'm the same woman who is debating about getting a rainbow bumper sticker for my car. :laugh:
I thought these where pretty, and still somewhat understated.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2Fa5cms.jpg&hash=c6dd02f9de4db7da1b7764043b5495514db991e4)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F33yrg55.jpg&hash=973af92c5b579eb2dbe86880a152c90ebe8b40a2)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F2aa0il2.jpg&hash=48c76a3978dc94816de5a984db39d440053656a0)
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 19, 2014, 01:58:02 AM
I thought these where pretty, and still somewhat understated.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi62.tinypic.com%2Fa5cms.jpg&hash=c6dd02f9de4db7da1b7764043b5495514db991e4)
I like this one the best ;D
Pretty
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi61.tinypic.com%2F302p1t0.jpg&hash=fd490d4875d484f371731b5d9a90a08fd2e7d5e1)
:D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi57.tinypic.com%2Fydwqr.jpg&hash=217cf5fe384611d04b46f5d1a5e1c08e67266695)
And I really like this!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Ffmqlh4.jpg&hash=82543f340fcf006dc1d76d78c2ee8a0cfc7798a2)
BTW a little seque...
Go Ellen Page!!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi57.tinypic.com%2F1zpifig.jpg&hash=babf0ef3164fa1386264f98e95560d32c2b1f8f1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWIaYZEHOIg
I never thought about that before, actually.. Gay bling... what a good idea!!! I mean, they're already staring, right?
How about a Taser. That might get the message through?
I'm sure it's a problem cis lesbians face too. I'm having dinner with a couple tonight...will ask for you! :D
Quote from: greypeacock on May 18, 2014, 11:43:07 PM
A rainbow bracelet can work wonders. I call mine 'cougar repellent' ;)
Whereas a bracelet in TG pride flag colours mostly gets "Wtf is that?" outcome. I have even gotten that from lesbian and gay people - all they know is rainbow flag... Sometimes it is nice to live in a 3rd world country and sometimes... that ignorance just gets at me :D.
Those bracelets are really pretty, but I wonder if they'll really get the message across or if guys will just assume it's colourful jewelry. Or notice it at all.
Oh, and that 'vagitarian' shirt is hilarious. xD
@Heather: I'm basically a shut in, so I've never experienced anyone of either gender hitting on me randomly outside of the internet, but I hope it doesn't ever happen with men. Online it's just annoying, but offline, I imagine my reaction would be very nervous and uncomfortable and trying to remove myself from the situation as soon as possible. I'm not sure what the term is for it, but I'm also extremely weary of men.
Just to be clear, I'm not saying I want women to hit on me randomly, either.
The two ladies I saw this evening said unwanted attention from men was part of the landscape - sorry to say. :-\
Quote from: Heather on May 19, 2014, 12:24:56 AM
And to be honest lesbians do get hit on by men too just because a man knows your a lesbian doesn't mean he will be like omg she's a lesbian I can't be attracted to her.
I dated a lesbian for over a year. She dated no men before me and none after. It confused us both. Neither one of us knew I was a woman at the time.
Back on topic. If I get hit on by someone these days I just say no thank you and take it as the compliment it is. Nothing you can do will be 100% effective. If you already have a woman on your arm the threesome types or the "I can change you both" types just gather.
Just send 'em my way. ;)
Quote from: Jess42 on May 19, 2014, 09:48:38 AM
Just send 'em my way. ;)
*has a mental image of handing out cards with Jess' contact info to any man who starts bugging her for a date*
lol
Quote from: Pikachu on May 19, 2014, 12:52:18 AMIn my experience a lot of men will hit on anything female with a pulse.
IFIFY. :)
QuoteAnd yes, being a lesbian who finds all men icky to begin with certainly doesn't help...
I have yet to experience any women acting this way towards me. Only the men.
Same boat. I have been found annoying attractive to gay men my entire life.
Hehe~ :)
I'm pretty sure I get the meaning based on the context, but what does IFIFY stand for?
I Fixed It For You. :laugh:
Cropping my hair seems to work well for me lol. I only do it because its all I can do right now until it grows out :P.
I wouldn't say wedding ring would make a difference. People in general like a challenge, a wedding ring might just make it worse LOL.
For some reason I attract older men. Not that they're pervy or creepy, they're actually quite nice and polite, but they are old enough to be my dad :S
Usually, the only sure-fire way of warding off dudes is walking around with my wife hand in hand, i guess we give off that "f*** off" lesbians vibe. When I'm alone though (especially at karaoke nights) i get all sorts of male attention. I can't say I really mind it though, its kinda nice to see that my attention to my appearance pays off, even if the guys are sleazy from time to time :P
And its true, men will hit on anything that breathes... I have a cismale friend (who was in a relationship mind you) the more I developed my femininity, the more "friendly" he got... there came a point in time when he would get drunk and start grabbing my ass and getting all "hand on my waist" friendly... I mean it kinda gave me an ego-boost to know I was that attractive, but for someone who's a straight arrow and taken, to be interested in his "use to be a dude" friend.... it only proves the point lol
When I got hit on by a random guy I told him that I was only into girls. That backfired - it was like "challenge accepted!".
I really think the only way to get rid of someone is to be gross - start talking about your hemorrhoids or something like that.
Being cranky and just-this-side-of-rude tends to work for most. Having a can of pepperspray pointed at them works for the rest.
An indigo girls t-shirt?
Quote from: Eva Marie on May 19, 2014, 10:35:06 AM
I really think the only way to get rid of someone is to be gross - start talking about your hemorrhoids or something like that.
Oh there is easier more humorous ways to get rid of men I've learned. ;)
Quote from: Pikachu on May 19, 2014, 09:59:38 AM
*has a mental image of handing out cards with Jess' contact info to any man who starts bugging her for a date*
lol
Not any, just the cute ones. Ah hell, just send them all my way and we'll make a reality show out of it. With a big surprise at the end. :o
I think a big thick bull ring through the nose might work
Quote from: Pikachu on May 19, 2014, 09:59:38 AM
*has a mental image of handing out cards with Jess' contact info to any man who starts bugging her for a date*
Don't forget the rest if the letters (i-c-a) and my last name also! ;D
Quote from: LittleEmily24 on May 19, 2014, 10:18:40 AM
Usually, the only sure-fire way of warding off dudes is walking around with my wife hand in hand, i guess we give off that "f*** off" lesbians vibe.
I don't know if it's even possible for me to give off this vibe. I can walk around with my partner in hand, but then there's our 5 month old slung across my chest and well... I think people get the clue then.
Seriously, I'll trade you. Girls check me out all the time. Waitresses hitting on me when I am having dinner with my ex. My very female ex. Without being rude, I am halfway through my meal before my presentation connects in their brain, then they almost refuse to look at me before we get up and leave. It's getting rediculous, it's embarrassing and it makes me feel so bad. It hurts, like am I that male that there is no hope for me? I don't want to humiliate them, but I just want to say,"Honey, there is absolutely nothing I can do for you." The more weight I lose the worse it gets. Maybe it's time for me to really dress feminine. I go andro now, and I am already tired of spending money on clothes that won't fit me 2 months from now. Not tired of shopping! :) Just tired of spending money.
So, yeah, I'll take your problem and you can have mine. :)
Mikaela
I spent a large portion of my life identifying as lesbian, and I can tell you from experience that it generally does not matter if you tell a cisman that you are a lesbian. It tends to make the most obstinate ones more insistent in their advances because apparently a lot of cismen feel it is a serious bonus to their masculinity if they can nail a lesbian. Now, I realize this is an overgeneralization.. but I am speaking from personal experience.
Lesbians come in all shapes and sizes and fall on all points of the gender spectrum. I think we don't need to remind ourselves that some of the stereotypical comments that are found in this thread can be hurtful. I know they were made in 'good fun' but if there are cisfemale lesbians reading this thread and these forums looking for support in possibly how to maintain a relationship with their partner that just came out it could be disheartening. Yes.. I know I just potentially squashed the fun.. but its a bit of a touchy subject for me.
My best advice would be to wear an understated rainbow bracelet or necklace. You could also wear a silver thumb ring. I can't remember if the side matters.. I think I've seen it mostly on the left.
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 19, 2014, 02:22:12 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi61.tinypic.com%2F302p1t0.jpg&hash=fd490d4875d484f371731b5d9a90a08fd2e7d5e1)
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 19, 2014, 01:58:02 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi60.tinypic.com%2F33yrg55.jpg&hash=973af92c5b579eb2dbe86880a152c90ebe8b40a2)
I kind of want these two. Can I has the links, please?
eBay "RAINBOW Gay Lesbian PRIDE Heart 6MM Band Ring" "Swarovski Crystal RAINBOW haunted CHAKRA SOLID"
According to Rivers Cuomo, wear a pink triangle on your sleeve to let them know the truth.
Quote from: Spiritwlker on May 19, 2014, 04:06:21 PM
My best advice would be to wear an understated rainbow bracelet or necklace. You could also wear a silver thumb ring. I can't remember if the side matters.. I think I've seen it mostly on the left.
The problem with jewelry designations is (as pretty as they are) is that most cis-males aren't even going to notice it much less recognize the significance. Those that do and, like you said, are going to see it as a challenge not a deterrent, straight or gay, clocked or otherwise.
As for the lesbian archtyping, I think it was being done as hyperbole to highlight the difficulty (and obtuse-ness?) of the problem.
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 19, 2014, 01:49:46 PM
Don't forget the rest if the letters (i-c-a) and my last name also! ;D
Hey, leave my men alone. Well (i-c-a) me too. I'll share though, you can have all the ugly ones. ;)
I have this same problem myself, and have been reading this thread hoping some of you girls would have a good way of preventing these idiots from hitting on me. However, because there doesn't seem to be one I'll just continue having fun with them. Men like this remind me of little lost puppy dogs following someone with a piece of food, lol! I especially have fun with the ones at the boat ramp (Ally gives sinister evil laugh) :icon_censored: on weekends. And, since I now have boobs they have more than just my legs and my butt to oogle over, lol!! :icon_lol:
Ally :icon_flower:
tell them you don't like penis...or the you really don't have what I want line
or just get use to being female and the male sex looking at you lol even if your a lesbian
Being a MtF myself getting male attention is just part of the package, kind of like loosing male privilege. Just a part of being a woman. :)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 19, 2014, 06:12:06 PM
Being a MtF myself getting male attention is just part of the package, kind of like loosing male privilege. Just a part of being a woman. :)
yeap ,exactly...
I think we all need to get used to it.
Oh, I'm sure I'll get used to it. The same way I've gotten used to a lot of annoying things in my life. Doesn't mean I'll ever like it, though.
If every guy reacted the same way to "no" then it would be easy, at least the same approach could be used by all women. Unfortunately they don't. Some take "no" as an invitation to try harder. Some take it as an insult. Some take the hint. How those responses manifest are as varied as the individual - "no as an invitation" could result in some serious stalking activity, "no as an insult" could result in assault or worse.
The trick is in trying to read the situation and the individual. How is he going to respond to "no", what will he do? Part of that is the way in which the "no" is delivered, if it is rude and aggressive it might escalate the situation or it might be the circuit breaker you need. Not forceful enough or too polite and you might not be taken seriously. So hard to know. So damn hard to know!
Just had a close brush with it myself, fortunately my request that he go away was taken up but even that was freaky. That I even had to point out to him that his behaviour was inappropriate was troublesome.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi58.tinypic.com%2F27xl35t.jpg&hash=e4e4dd36d64e2c134c26367cbfaf7082a0a62bbb)
\
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi57.tinypic.com%2Fdoqecg.jpg&hash=eee83a495eeacbcb8b2fd4373cceca5fb7a7a6ad)
*huggles Grace*
I read your thread about that. I'm so glad you're okay. Honestly, that guy's behaviour was creepy no matter how you look at it. Even if we took gender out of the equation, what kind of person thinks it's okay to hit on someone walking home in the dark? Some people...
Or maybe a tattoo like this ;)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foi59.tinypic.com%2Frro5lg.jpg&hash=2cda4bc5e777f66b3d08a0d46e924445198964dc)
Could you route some of them here, please? :P
The standard way I deal with unwanted attention is to just pretend the source doesn't exist.
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 19, 2014, 08:54:03 PM
Or maybe a tattoo like this ;)
Lol, but if people see that I'm pretty sure they'll feel compelled to ask something and use it as an excuse to talk to you more (and yeah, I know it's a joke. Get accused a lot of not knowing when someones joking when I just work with it, knowing it's a joke).
The more I look at it, the more I see crazy colour toothpaste ???
Quote from: Evelyn K on May 18, 2014, 11:54:01 PM
lol.
Hey L00T where you kidding about the turquoise jewelry? :D
Maybe. ;)
Lol, that's just an old joke I heard somewhere. Maybe it was Will & Grace. :D