I've been getting super dysphoric today. Like... Just so bad I nearly had a break down at work. Like I'm so tired of the customers calling me female pronouns it just gets to me you know? And it's bad enough I get dysphoric over my voice and costantly wondering if my chest binder is doing its job and...
You know it makes me wonder... I mean before I never knew why I was always so depressed and non-functional half the time and now that I know I don't know which is worse. Never having known or knowing and wishing the hormones would work faster
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F31.media.tumblr.com%2F80f86b95469aa6dd71e15f814a07b45d%2Ftumblr_migwebbBbw1r6mv99o1_400.gif&hash=f674e394ac6bbb3dada3a7915180083ba1f2ca95)
A big hug from me! Sure hope you feel better soon! :D
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 22, 2014, 11:46:12 PM
A big hug from me! Sure hope you feel better soon! :D
lol thanks that kinda made me smile
You got it, brother.
*huggles* I hope you feel better soon, big brother. I know just how it feels. I try to stay optimistic and focus on the progress I'm making and will make, but sometimes it's so hard. I've just come out of one of those very depressive slumps myself.
Everything takes longer than it takes a friend once told me. It seems so unfair that we can't just trade plumbing, but since we can't and since the universe seems determined to teach patience and persistence, keep on keepin' on dude. T will do its work, and all this will pass to the next challenge.
Hugs,
Julie
Quote from: JulieBlair on May 23, 2014, 12:37:03 AM
Everything takes longer than it takes a friend once told me. It seems so unfair that we can't just trade plumbing, but since we can't and since the universe seems determined to teach patience and persistence, keep on keepin' on dude. T will do its work, and all this will pass to the next challenge.
Hugs,
Julie
Thanks. I know it will, it's just x.o too slow for me some days lol
Sending you a hug and the best possible vibes. :)
Me too. You rock, Kade.
A proper hug or a man hug?
Never mind, I never did work out the man hug thing..
Here's a regular giant hug..
Kade you are a great looking guy.
Let an old tart tell you, it does get better.
Hugs my brother
Cindy
:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
One for every day this next week!!
Big hug to ya' Kade.
I don't let pronouns get me down, well frankly I just really don't care what someone calls me. It does go to show how ignorant the world is to the trangendered population. Some may just have manners, I always say thank you Ma'am or Sir just out of politeness. If I do come across someone that I think may be trans too, I just say thank you, I just can't bring myself to ask someone what they would preferred to be called, just in case 1, they may not be and I may really insult them and they may be cis and not look like thier gender at all and 2, I definately don't want to out someone that may not be out.
But another big hug and just keep in mind that most people aren't even aware of themselves, let alone anyone else and just keep being yourself and going forward. they don't do it or most don't out of meaness or spite but rather just don't know anybetter.
Quote from: Cindy on May 23, 2014, 02:43:38 AM
Kade you are a great looking guy.
Let an old tart tell you, it does get better.
Hugs my brother
Cindy
Thank you, Cindy. =)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on May 23, 2014, 03:27:13 AM
:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
One for every day this next week!!
lol thanks!
Quote from: Jess42 on May 23, 2014, 07:28:16 AM
Big hug to ya' Kade.
I don't let pronouns get me down, well frankly I just really don't care what someone calls me. It does go to show how ignorant the world is to the trangendered population. Some may just have manners, I always say thank you Ma'am or Sir just out of politeness. If I do come across someone that I think may be trans too, I just say thank you, I just can't bring myself to ask someone what they would preferred to be called, just in case 1, they may not be and I may really insult them and they may be cis and not look like thier gender at all and 2, I definately don't want to out someone that may not be out.
But another big hug and just keep in mind that most people aren't even aware of themselves, let alone anyone else and just keep being yourself and going forward. they don't do it or most don't out of meaness or spite but rather just don't know anybetter.
You have a good point. I will try to remember it
Quote from: Kade1985 on May 23, 2014, 12:49:44 AM
Thanks. I know it will, it's just x.o too slow for me some days lol
I know the feeling. *great big bear hug*
*hug, hug, hug,hug, hugggggg!*
I'm happier realizing it's dysphoria, even though it happens just as much as ever.
I used to feel like that and attribute it to other things going on. It started a lot of unnecessary arguments and hurt feelings. My wife says I'm much better now. Once I tell her I'm trans and start HRT I hope to be even better, even if I lose her over it.
hey man, I'm not good at hugs but I'll send some major support your way.
what you described is how I was feeling yesterday. this whole process feels so freaking slow, doesn't it. hang in there.
I understand how you feel, just on the reverse side of things. I'm very rarely addressed with gendered terms nowadays, but I was called sir the other day and it was soul crushing. While I understood why it happened (I'm still not full time), it just hurts so much. Transitioning really is a process and sometimes that just sucks. However, I remember how far you've come. You and I started on this site at similar points and both of us were terrified about coming out, so you always stuck out to me as a member. Think about how far you have already come from only a year ago. It's pretty impressive when you think about it. Since then you started your transition, began Testosterone, found employment and an accepting partner (well, I believe all that's true if my memory serves me well). Those are all quite great accomplishments and important steps forward for you. So even though it sucks that everything takes time and is a waiting game, think of how far you have already come. It may help you realize how much further you will be able to go soon enough. Sometimes focusing on what we have been able to do and get through helps us while we continue on. Good luck Kade, and I hope you feel better soon.
Hugs Kade,
You have made significant progress and your avatar shows it. I hope you feel better soon.
Quote from: learningtolive on May 23, 2014, 03:29:18 PM
I understand how you feel, just on the reverse side of things. I'm very rarely addressed with gendered terms nowadays, but I was called sir the other day and it was soul crushing. While I understood why it happened (I'm still not full time), it just hurts so much. Transitioning really is a process and sometimes that just sucks. However, I remember how far you've come. You and I started on this site at similar points and both of us were terrified about coming out, so you always stuck out to me as a member. Think about how far you have already come from only a year ago. It's pretty impressive when you think about it. Since then you started your transition, began Testosterone, found employment and an accepting partner (well, I believe all that's true if my memory serves me well). Those are all quite great accomplishments and important steps forward for you. So even though it sucks that everything takes time and is a waiting game, think of how far you have already come. It may help you realize how much further you will be able to go soon enough. Sometimes focusing on what we have been able to do and get through helps us while we continue on. Good luck Kade, and I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you, what you say is true. I have come a long way and I should do better to remember that. I guess sometimes I tend to forget the good things that's happened or happening around me. I'll try to remember that things have been going better since a year ago. Hell, things have been better since three months ago especially. When I was just really on cusp of no longer caring about anything. I nearly dropped out of college three months ago, but I'm glad I stuck it out. Thank you, it means a lot to me that you have noticed these things and that you reminded me of it.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on May 23, 2014, 07:08:36 PM
Hugs Kade,
I have made significant progress and your avatar shows it. I hope you feel better soon.
Thanks!
Quote from: Jess42 on May 23, 2014, 07:28:16 AM
Big hug to ya' Kade.
I don't let pronouns get me down, well frankly I just really don't care what someone calls me. It does go to show how ignorant the world is to the trangendered population. Some may just have manners, I always say thank you Ma'am or Sir just out of politeness. If I do come across someone that I think may be trans too, I just say thank you, I just can't bring myself to ask someone what they would preferred to be called, just in case 1, they may not be and I may really insult them and they may be cis and not look like thier gender at all and 2, I definately don't want to out someone that may not be out.
But another big hug and just keep in mind that most people aren't even aware of themselves, let alone anyone else and just keep being yourself and going forward. they don't do it or most don't out of meaness or spite but rather just don't know anybetter.
I kept telling myself today, when I called ma'am and stuff at work again, that they didn't know me and they didn't know my position and that it's only natural for them to refer to me as female. It actually helped me get through the day. Thanks!
Quote from: Kade1985 on May 23, 2014, 08:50:39 PM
I kept telling myself today, when I called ma'am and stuff at work again, that they didn't know me and they didn't know my position and that it's only natural for them to refer to me as female. It actually helped me get through the day. Thanks!
Anytime hon. The thing that keeps me somewhat insane is that people are basically ignorant, in the true sense of the word ignore, of other people. Like I said, I call people Sir or Ma'am unless I think they may be trans and then I just try to be nuetral. Many younger women get, not really offended but don't care to be called ma'am. Just the other day a young woman called me Mr.
first name and I told her to cut out that Mr. crap because it is Mr.
Last name or just the first name. She laughed and said OK and I told her thank you Ma'am and she then told me to cut out the Ma'am crap. So touche' to her. I guess we both kind of made each other feel older. She was cis by the way. But definately try not to take offense because that can ruin your whole day. Believe m, I am called a lot of things and Sir or Ma'am is the least of my worries. ;)
BTW in your avatar and the video of you shaving for the first time, you definately look way more masculine than me and I am pre everything. so keep it up.
Quote from: Jess42 on May 24, 2014, 11:18:23 AM
Anytime hon. The thing that keeps me somewhat insane is that people are basically ignorant, in the true sense of the word ignore, of other people. Like I said, I call people Sir or Ma'am unless I think they may be trans and then I just try to be nuetral. Many younger women get, not really offended but don't care to be called ma'am. Just the other day a young woman called me Mr. first name and I told her to cut out that Mr. crap because it is Mr. Last name or just the first name. She laughed and said OK and I told her thank you Ma'am and she then told me to cut out the Ma'am crap. So touche' to her. I guess we both kind of made each other feel older. She was cis by the way. But definately try not to take offense because that can ruin your whole day. Believe m, I am called a lot of things and Sir or Ma'am is the least of my worries. ;)
BTW in your avatar and the video of you shaving for the first time, you definately look way more masculine than me and I am pre everything. so keep it up.
lol thanks. I need to lose some weight though =x
I need a hug to lol. Feeling out of place on the worse possible lvl
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 22, 2014, 11:46:12 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F31.media.tumblr.com%2F80f86b95469aa6dd71e15f814a07b45d%2Ftumblr_migwebbBbw1r6mv99o1_400.gif&hash=f674e394ac6bbb3dada3a7915180083ba1f2ca95)
A big hug from me! Sure hope you feel better soon! :D
This gif is amazing!
Man I hear you. Although i prefer knowing why I'm upset, means I can control it better. Not knowing something drives me insane, but that could just be my analytic thinking there.
Just need to roll with the fits. When I have bad days I'm just a terrible person to be around. At least you're on T that's great! In due time my friend! Just gotta think "You think little now, but just you wait an see who i really am!". Haha.
Quote from: Kade1985 on May 24, 2014, 07:18:22 PM
lol thanks. I need to lose some weight though =x
Yeah, but don't we all? I don't know if it will help any but a month ago I believe I heard that the average male weight today is at 195 pounds and the average female weight is 165 pounds. I remember when I was 135 pounds soaking wet. Those were definately the days. But on the brightside I myself am closer to the averge female weight than male so I guess that is a win for me? ??? Still would like to see 135 again though.
Wow, I was 108lbs all thru high school, at 5' 10" I was really skinny.. I wore 26 waist jeans.. college I ballooned up to 124 where I stayed for another 6yrs. Was 128 when I married.. slowly started to increase to abt 168.. I cut out nearly all soda and have been holding at abt 156-ish.. if I could drop 10lbs.. just 10... sigh..
Hugs going out your way my brother.. it will get better.
Weight gain is a bummer. I was successful at first with the green coffee and African mango supplements. Now, since going to the bovine ovary, I seem to gain no matter what I take. I am now over six months on the bovine, so I can detoxify soon for a month and then, if lucky, be able to lose some weight. My stomach is huge now! I want the stomach to go down as the boobs go up!
Stephanie