So... what, do I just sorta stop taking the hormones?
What is my timeline gonna be like? How do I switch to living as a boy? How long will it take to end up looking how I used to?
I keep saying I'm going to detransition, I'm just like, afraid to take the plunge.
Any de/retransitioners still around..? What was it like for you?
I just don't know what to do right now honestly.
Why are you doing that if you don't mind me asking?
Quote from: Kassie on June 30, 2014, 05:16:21 PM
Why are you doing that if you don't mind me asking?
Transitioning hasn't made me happier, and HRT is ruining my health.... I just don't like gender so I want to eliminate it from my life as much as possible.
It would make sense to me tbat you go see an Endocrinologist so that they can help you come off the hormones safely. Or whoever is prescribing the hormones.
Quote from: Brett on June 30, 2014, 07:43:02 PM
It would make sense to me tbat you go see an Endocrinologist so that they can help you come off the hormones safely.
Most definitely! :)
I don't want to tell my endo yet :S she also treats my MIL and it's hard enough to keep a secret from that woman as is. I'm thinking I want to go off hormones for a while and see how I feel and stuff. Worst case is even I could just stay living as a girl but not have to keep suffering on HRT you know?
Keeping secrets from a doctor who is prescribing meds for someone usually doesn't end well. Your health could suffer and it could make her prescribe conflicting meds if she thinks you are still on HRT. She could after finding out drop you as a patient. Doctors are the one person who should not be in the dark about your meds or history. :)
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on June 30, 2014, 08:01:15 PM
Keeping secrets from a doctor who is prescribing meds for someone usually doesn't end well. Your health could suffer and it could make her prescribe conflicting meds if she thinks you are still on HRT. She could after finding out drop you as a patient. Doctors are the one person who should not be in the dark about your meds or history. :)
Well honestly trans treatment isn't her specialty at all, she only sees a few trans patients. I've had to pretty much manage my treatment and be the one to suggest what to do every step of the way. Even then I assure yah I've been way sicker *on* the hormones than I ever could be off them, some days it's felt like I'm really rotting away, and my doc doesn't know why anyway.
I'm not really looking for medical advice, sorry, I don't want to sound like I'm shutting out your advice or anything, but I mainly just wanted some input on what detransition is like in terms of the timeframe and stuff and maybe how other people handled changing their presentation and stuff.
In light of your last post, I'd suggest you find an Endo with HRT experience, however prior to your last post I was about to write the following:
:P
Just my 2 cents, but be up front and honest with your doctor. Tell them that you feel HRT is ruining your health and that you want to dial it back, and (maybe) detransition. Tell your doctor that you had concerns about talking to them because you don't want to create a bad environment for them treating your other condition. Doctors are people too, they will understand your concerns if you communicate it to them.
If you want to have some extra reasons for your doctor, go see a therapist and talk about those concerns. Also, if you decide to see a therapist, tell your doctor - that way they know you're not just deciding to stop for no big reason. My understanding is that detransitioning is alot like transitioning regularly - it messes with your emotions and it's a whole big "thing." Don't risk you health for the sake of an embarrassing conversation to someone who only wants you to be well and healthy. Also don't beat your self up over any of this - everyone follows the best path they are given at the time. You will be fine. ;)
Also remember that we're here to give you backup and support anytime you need it!
Maybe you should private message the poster "retransition" as i believe they (i don't know their pronoun) have done it.
Good luck to you.
well i wasnt too far into transition and was on a "base" dose for months over months because of medical issues rising left and right.. then i just decided to detransition for a while untill im more capable of taking care of myself. i sent an email to my doctor stating that i do not wish to be on hrt anymore untill im more ready to take it all head on
you know what he said? im going to try to simply translate it as i am not american and my main language is another one..
"ok that is completly your decision. i will be happy to assist if needed" and its a doctor i rather hated all along but that "reply" was actualy cool
samantha
if your comment was directed at me. i was on hrt for over 7 months and was advancing to a year
Sorry for taking so long to respond personally struggling with whether or not to go on HRT I hate my body and the whole male female gender ->-bleeped-<- good luck sorry you are having health issues
A friend of mine detransitioned. She stopped HRT had her breast implants removed. Now she's retransitioning. A girl who was a boy, who was a girl who was a boy.
Quote from: Samantha007 on July 01, 2014, 07:49:42 PM
Can I ask how long you have been on hormones? HRT did make me sick years ago when I started, but soon my body started adpting to it. Could it be a question of time?
hugs,
Samantha xx
Sorry for the slow reply...
I've been on HRT 2 yrs and had female hormone levels for about a year now, that being about the time my health got so bad.
Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on July 11, 2014, 03:14:42 PM
A friend of mine detransitioned. She stopped HRT had her breast implants removed. Now she's retransitioning. A girl who was a boy, who was a girl who was a boy.
I sorta worry that I'd just want to transition again, but idk, being trans is not enough for me and I didn't have a big need to transition in the first place, I just sort of wanted to live as a girl and got more stuck that way than I thought about. I would have to get top surgery in the long run but I could bind while seeing if I could still make it work.
Quote from: sad panda on July 11, 2014, 03:28:41 PM
I sorta worry that I'd just want to transition again, but idk, being trans is not enough for me and I didn't have a big need to transition in the first place, I just sort of wanted to live as a girl and got more stuck that way than I thought about. I would have to get top surgery in the long run but I could bind while seeing if I could still make it work.
I'm not in so different a place. Right now I feel like I'm a robot who just keeps taking hormones cause I dont know what else to do. I mean if I detranstion, my BF will dump me. He'll still be friends, but the relationship will be toast. It's not even a question. it wouldn't work. So part of me feels I keep ding it cause I feel so in love with him. But lately, especially yesterday, I couldnt stand him. We were arguing and usually it's him leaving or telling me to leave or whatver and I just left, walked out and said "see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya..." I didn't care if he called or texted, I wasn't upset, I didn't cry. I din't feel anything, except numbness. But he texted and wanted me to come back so I did and we made up but still, I was glad when he was gone. But then again, long term, that might leave me really undone.
So i feel stuck. I transtioned on a whim basically and always wanted to present totally female and knew I could even without HRT but that the HRT would make it that much easier and me more prettier. But now...IDK. But then sometimes I generally really like the clothes and the fashio and the makeup and how i look now compared to being an androgynous nothing of genderlessness before and now a sometimes really pretty, curvy woman. The thing is no matter what I do Ill never be a "man." I'll never be tall, or big, a good looking in a guy sort a way. At best I used to be called so cute and adorable. Not exactly what guys dream of being referred to as. Ot the best "just too pretty."
So if I stop, my family will love it, but will I? Will I regret it long-term. I'm a little over 30 so it's kinda do or die, or at least felles that way, it really isn't I guess. But it feels like now or never.
What I'm seriously considering doing now is cutting my hair into a fauxhawk, I already look like a lesbian and see lesbians staring at me or giving me second looks all the time, and just really butching it up. But I'm 5'5 and 125 lbs so that only goes so far. BUT I'll keep taking hormones. The thing is I'm already like a 32D, or 32C if I really tighten the tape measure as tight as it can go, so that isn't helping and a sports bra only gets me down to a B cup, where I started.
I really don't know what to do and then I come to this site and just feel totally bullied. I get beat up and street harrassed in the real worl which doesnt help. I just feel like I have no one. I dont think I have ever felt more alone in my entire life. My BF hates talking about trans stuff ans demnded I stop. He does not like being reminded I'm half and half at all and refers to my junk as my cooch. I am starting therapy soon.
Dam, I feel ike I'm totally derailing your thread or making it about me, but am actually just trying to relate cause I follow your posts and feel like we're in a similar, but not the same, boat. Mine's violet and you're is mauve lol
Honestly, since no one has said, I think if you stopped, and I've read a lot of obscure studies about HRT in the California prison system and diverted hormones to femme up 18 year olds, (it happens), and apart from some emotional lability (I looked it up and it means just up and down emotions, which it seems like your experiencing already) there's no horrible halth risks. I totally get not telling your doc, You should, you really should, but I get it. I've been in situations, medical ones, where I was assumed to be a female and just couldnt tell them otherwise and acted like I had a vag and said my periods were regular. It was stupid but I just did it. It was a sudden thing and I wasnt expecting to see a doctor.
I stopped HRt for a couple weeks a couple months ago to do poor financial dicisions and nothing happend. No emtional breakdowns. No nothing. I just started remaculinizing a little, my facial hair growth, which is minimal for someone my age, sped up, and that was it. Hope this helps, fwiw.
I am curious about this one too, contemplating to jump off HRT for a week or two, maybe more - depends on... a lot of variables and questionables. I am kinda worried about my emotional side, because being touch with myself now, I dont want to loose that. But I clearly was not in that emotional state "before" so reverting back would be one of biggest fears. Also, when T switches back, will it spam new facial hair follicles? Another option would be to remain on T-blockers only, though not the most healthy one, but we are not here to live forever anyway.
Any feedback? :)
Maybe you guys should read this...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,171153.msg1495488.html#msg1495488
Quote from: Susan522 on August 12, 2014, 01:01:08 AM
Maybe you guys should read this...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,171153.msg1495488.html#msg1495488
I did read this and found quite interesting. But... it does not provide an answer to those scenarios when the first initial identity was sort of "messed up". Though, I found another article - about traumas and imprinting - to be more curious. Still, I do wonder, what sort of trauma would have been strong enough to mess up and "imprint" 3 - 4 y.o. kid for the rest of life?
I am not sure that the author was attempting to identify "trauma" as "THE CAUSE" of GD. I am not sure he wa even alluding to any cause.
What I took away from his analysis was the necessity to think clearly and act wisely.
taking hormones is just one way to produce a feminine appearance it can also be achieved through surgery or makeup and feminine mannerisms are more important than facial appearance when it comes to passing as a woman really so you can go off hormones and still live as a woman . so you can get off hormones completely and still live as a woman , unless there are other reasons you are wanting to detransition other than just hormones and your health and you just would rather live as a man again . but if you do enjoy living as a woman you can still do that . if you announce to everyone that you are a transgender woman (and if you are non op which I assume that you are you really have to announce the fact) then the truth is that everyone is going to treat you as a transwoman instead of just a woman and your experience will be one of being different/marginalized in society so living as a man may just be easier than living as a transgender woman.
Quote from: jeninindiana on August 27, 2014, 04:32:30 PM
taking hormones is just one way to produce a feminine appearance it can also be achieved through surgery or makeup and feminine mannerisms are more important than facial appearance when it comes to passing as a woman really so you can go off hormones and still live as a woman . so you can get off hormones completely and still live as a woman , unless there are other reasons you are wanting to detransition other than just hormones and your health and you just would rather live as a man again . but if you do enjoy living as a woman you can still do that . if you announce to everyone that you are a transgender woman (and if you are non op which I assume that you are you really have to announce the fact) then the truth is that everyone is going to treat you as a transwoman instead of just a woman and your experience will be one of being different/marginalized in society so living as a man may just be easier than living as a transgender woman.
I live as a woman, I'm a non-op trans woman. I get treated as a woman by my friends.
mostly friends if they are real friends will support you in everything you do and treat you as any other woman . i was referring more to the male population and dating . dating as a transwoman is more complicated than just dating as a woman and dating as a non op transwoman is infinately more complicated because there is even a bigger difference between you and a woman . but of course it depends on people in your community and how open minded and accepting people in your community are to transgendered people but its likely i think that people outside your circle of friends might treat you differently and if you are non op you really have to be honest about being trans but how society reacts to you just depends on the people within it and their views on it . the reality of living as a transgender woman could be more complicated and more difficult than some people expect and that could be why people want to detransition .
Quote from: sad panda on June 30, 2014, 05:19:53 PM
Transitioning hasn't made me happier, and HRT is ruining my health.... I just don't like gender so I want to eliminate it from my life as much as possible.
I'm surprised that HRT is ruining your health. It's possible that whoever is prescribing your hormones doesn't know what they're doing, and has put you on an inappropriate or harmful hormone combination. I've heard that there are still doctors handing out obsolete and potentially dangerous hormones such as premarin, Provera, or ethinylestradiol, which have been shown to be harmful and should never be part of transgender HRT. Also, some doctors keep their trans patients on antiandrogens for years, and both spiro and androcur have known health problems associated with long term use. As long as your estradiol is maintained at female-typical levels, it shouldn't usually be necessary to continue antiandrogens for more than a few months. Another commonly prescribed drug with known problems associated with it is finasteride. It's been linked to depression and "post finasteride syndrome". The same probably applies to dutasteride too, since they work in basically the same way.
So the reason you're having such a bad experience could just be that you've found yourself lumbered with a bad doctor who has put you on a lousy HRT regimen. Going on some of the things I've seen people saying on the various trans forums I subscribe to, there are plenty of clueless doctors about who are handing out sometimes quite dangerous hormone combinations.
I wouldn't recommend going on antiandrogen alone (as I think someone suggested). It's probably make you feel unwell, but more importantly can be quite damaging to your long term health. Your body needs either testosterone or estradiol to be present at male/female typical levels in order to prevent osteoporosis, and for the proper maintenance of your body.
This is all based on things I've seen other people saying, since I'm not on female HRT myself.
Panda,
Detransitioning is no big thing as long as you haven't had an Orchie or SRS. I did it for two years about seven years into my transition (don't ask me why, it's a mystery to me too) and being on HRT, but having previously had an orchiectomy left me hormone less and after two years I became sick and went back on HRT. If you haven't had any lower end surgery you'll be ok and within 30 days your brain will come back to center from the female side. I have a 23 year old former FtM friend that has done the same after being on T for two years and she's doing fine back in her birth gender role and enjoying life.