So, I'm very new here, this is my second post. Still not fully sure what I am. I've read several of the latest threads on transgender help topics and stuff. A lot of what was mentioned was what I have been worrying about in my thoughts of whether I should pursue any of my thoughts of wanting to be a woman, but theres one thing that i haven't seen thats been worrying me. I've read about internal battles, worrying about regreting transition, and not making a convincing woman, but what I fear most is that I'm not doing what I'm intended to do. Now that statement might not make sense to most of you, but I have a strong belief in destiny and fate and predestination, so was I meant to be a man? Or was I meant to have transgender thoughts and be a woman? Another concern is the disappointment of my parents, they are very open minded and nurturing people and they would never be angry with me about my feelings, but that doesn't mean they will like seeing their only son abandon himself for what he/she believes is best for him/her. I want to talk with someone about this but I don't know if i'll be able to get a therapist. I would appreciate if anyone wants to say something to help these feelings, or if someone has had or is having similar feelings.
Hi Squirrel,
This is were a good therapist really comes into play, they allow you, make you explore your feelings intimately.
But that said, many of us fight out transgender thoughts and gendry dysphoria, and it tends to be easier to fight when we are young as your T levels are high making you feel 'manly', this is why , or partially why many transgender women don't 'give in' to their feeling until later in life. But the feelings never go away.
Transitioning is hard, it is hard on the person and on relationships with other people. Many of us do lose our friends and family, but many do not. Parent in particular usually go into shock for a while before accepting you.
No one really enjoys facing up to transitioning, I lived most of my life trying to be a man, and failed because - I'm a woman. And when I realised it was transition or die then I did face my fears and openly embraced transition with joy and enthusiasm. But it was still tough, I do have memories of despair, am I doing the right thing etc, but my friends here and my therapist pulled me through and now I am me; Cindy, an extremely happy well adjusted woman.
I would suggest you talk to a therapist particularly as not transitioning may screw up things, you may meet a girl and decide a family will be for you and maybe even cure you. It won't and you may end up destroying her life and affecting the life of your children, so get some help before you follow either path.
No one can say if you are transgender, there is no 'marks' there is no medical parameter, it is a very personal awareness. So no one here can say to you - yes you are transgender, only you can answer that.
What Cindy said. Plus don't let yourself get tied up in worries about "destiny" - your life is what you make it. :)
I'd like to echo Cindy and Ms. Grace's comments... and to add the words of Sarah Connor: "The future's not set. There's no fate but what we make for ourselves".
A good therapist can help you decide what you want that future to be.
I agree with the others and add:
You are what you feel you are. You are not what others want you to be. In the end your feelings will win out.
Quote from: Ms Grace on July 04, 2014, 03:18:26 AM
What Cindy said. Plus don't let yourself get tied up in worries about "destiny" - your life is what you make it. :)
Agree with both these fine ladies.
Only want to add is yesterday is the past. It can never be changed, Today and tomorrow is the things you have total control over. Get the help that will give you the tools to take control.
Therapist is the way to start.
Wish you safe passage on what ever path you feel you must walk.
Isabell
If it helps any your feelings are perfectly normal and we have all mostly been through them. It is a hard journey to say the least, but it is so worth it personally. :)
I can't say anything better than what's been said, but I will emphasize that your destiny is what you make it, and you are far from alone in your current feelings or any actions you take. Welcome and good luck.
I've thought the same thing as you Squirrel. I wonder is my path to questions gender or to experience transitioning. I haven't started talking about any of this with my therapist but not sure if I need a t that is more knowledgeable about trans stuff. I know for myself, up to now, I knew I was on the right path when everything felt right and natural, and just in the flow. So is my confusion about being uncomfortable feeling the need to live as a female while feeling male or is my confusion about not being on my true path by living as a male?
It doesn't sound like this would help at all. I guess I just can kind of relate to the destiny/life-path questioning.
Quote from: Squirrel on July 04, 2014, 02:45:55 AM
So, I'm very new here, this is my second post. Still not fully sure what I am. I've read several of the latest threads on transgender help topics and stuff. A lot of what was mentioned was what I have been worrying about in my thoughts of whether I should pursue any of my thoughts of wanting to be a woman, but theres one thing that i haven't seen thats been worrying me. I've read about internal battles, worrying about regreting transition, and not making a convincing woman, but what I fear most is that I'm not doing what I'm intended to do. Now that statement might not make sense to most of you, but I have a strong belief in destiny and fate and predestination, so was I meant to be a man? Or was I meant to have transgender thoughts and be a woman? Another concern is the disappointment of my parents, they are very open minded and nurturing people and they would never be angry with me about my feelings, but that doesn't mean they will like seeing their only son abandon himself for what he/she believes is best for him/her. I want to talk with someone about this but I don't know if i'll be able to get a therapist. I would appreciate if anyone wants to say something to help these feelings, or if someone has had or is having similar feelings.
Squirrel
Lots of good advice and support here on Susans. Your story is very similar to that experienced by many of us. The great thing is that you have taken the first step. Engaging with a good gender therapist and a support group are the next steps. With each step your self understanding will increase, your confidence and excitement will grow. As you sense possibility and a richer life the rest will fall into place. You have the opportunity to pick your path, to determine who you wish to become, and to learn how to deal respectfully and kindly with yourself, and with others, as you move forward.
This is an exciting time and I wish you well.
Safe travels
Aisla