Actually, no. It isn't. Last night at the skatepark, some BMX biker was trying to intimidate me and called me a ->-bleeped-<-got and a little girl. His buddies would also shout generally sexist things as I skated by. This is coming from a bunch of dudes whose biggest fear is being gay. And they address that by congregating in a large cluster of dudes. Masking homosexuality with homosociality. It's very telling when somebody is overtly homophobic AND misogynistic.
Oh yeah. And then my car died.
That sucks. People are ->-bleeped-<-s sometimes...
Anyway...keep your head up and next time do a kick flip off his face!
I used to get called a ->-bleeped-<-got a lot more than I do now, and it usually seemed to be people who were either young and insecure, or any age and trying to impress other people in a group. It's an easy go-to for people who don't feel good about their own place in a real or perceived social heirarchy. People who do that are pathetic jerks, and they look more and more stupid as time goes by.
Sorry that happened, though. And your car. That sucks.
Methinks someone clearly doth protest too much.
Reminds me of a guy I used to work with who would address everyone with homophobic epithets all the time, as if he was obsessed with being the anti-queer. He would walk into the shop several times a week and announce his presence by yelling, "Hey, ->-bleeped-<-gots!"
He had a drug-induced meltdown one day, was fired on the spot and escorted out. A few days later his brother came in to collect his things, and announced that our former co-worker had been taken to rehab and that their father had searched his room for drug stashes, but instead found a trunk full of soiled dildos and gay porn.
"Did you all know he's gay?"
Quote from: Jill F on September 24, 2014, 06:27:28 PM
their father had searched his room for drug stashes, but instead found a trunk full of soiled dildos and gay porn.
Wow.
I never understood why someone's sexuality would bother someone else. It's not like you're being forced into bed with them, and really, they're making your life easier by decreasing the competition for hetero cis women. A lot of ugly f---s would never get laid if a lot of good looking gay men and transsexuals actually wanted to be with women. Seriously, how does homosexuality effect anyone else besides the person who is actually gay?
Mug, sorry that happened. I know how that feels and no matter how often it happens it stinks.
My 1st therapist and I practiced what to think in my head when it happens and then I had to say it out loud 10 times to reinforce the thought. The thought was FXXX YXX. When I hear it now I think FXXX YXX and smile. It takes the power and meaning away from the words.
If there were 10 guys there I bet 2 thought you were pretty.
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on September 24, 2014, 07:10:30 PM
If there were 10 guys there I bet 2 thought you were pretty.
That's probably so true.!
Usually when people act like that, it's to hide the similar feelings they have..
When you get out of school and in to the adult world, most of that childish namcalling will disapeare.. Youll likely have some great times ahead that will make everything worthwhile...
Two is probably even a low number. From what I can recall from every group I ever came across with of a size of 8 or bigger, there were usually two people on the 'lead'. The rest would just follow.
I understand. I had to suffer being called one during 6th grade on the bus and in high school, I was called it to. I didnt fit the macho guy thing so I was degraded to worthless in the eyes of others. This was before I realized I was transgender. I wasnt even gay and it hurt me so I know how difficult it can be. I actually did beat one of the guys bullying me back in 6th grade for taunting me with the word. Some people are just mean. I wont tell you the same old dont let it bother you thing as I know how it can bother someone but your not worthless and Im not worthless. Dont make them make you feel stupid or ugly or worthless as you are not. Hang in there. :)
Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got, my response is always the same... "Yeah, so's your boyfriend!" And. It. Works.
They're never expecting that kind of a response, and their douchebag buddies always think it's funny. So it puts them on the defensive.
Oh wow, sounds like you had a crappy day. Sorry about that.
my favorite canadian used to call all his friends "bitch", including me. a very endearing term, and it seemed rather unspecific in terms of gender. it got a lot harder to get the hostility of the term after i got to know that guy.
it's never fun when someone uses words to hurt. but i find it funny how some people think that they can gain power over any human by using the same set of words.
I feel for ya, I have a friend in NYC who gets the same ->-bleeped-<- when they visit skate parks, they hate it because the really love skating transition. I do my best to visit skateparks when their quiet, because even though I get read as cis most of the time, dealing with bulls--t misogyny is a pain in the behind.
I came into skating through longboarding which seems to be more accepting that core skate culture is, people actually pay attention when I ask them not to use certain words. I think skating is slowly getting better, but it still sucks when you run head on into those kinds of attitudes
I haven't had that hurled at me in a long time. Last time was maybe in secondary school.
They didn't use the term "->-bleeped-<-" or "->-bleeped-<-got" they used the term "homo." Thing is I could never in my wildest dreams think of being gay. (Although technically I would be once I go through transition, unless my orientation also changes).
Sorry you had to deal with that. It sucks that some people have no empathy for others and just want to hurt them instead. I've been called that quite a few times in my life, but the worst time when someone wrote that on my windshield one time when my windshied was all foggy. I've dealt with jerks a lot in my life, but that time just made me break down and cry. I guess it's the randomness and anonymity of it. I wish people weren't such jerks at times.
Quote from: katiej on September 24, 2014, 09:23:01 PM
Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got, my response is always the same... "Yeah, so's your boyfriend!" And. It. Works.
They're never expecting that kind of a response, and their douchebag buddies always think it's funny. So it puts them on the defensive.
I'm soooo going to remember this one! Thanks!
Thank you, everybody. It's been a real pain in the ol' sword and the stones. Actually, I just wanted to use that phrase.
Quote from: Mark3 on September 24, 2014, 08:32:36 PM
That's probably so true.!
Usually when people act like that, it's to hide the similar feelings they have..
When you get out of school and in to the adult world, most of that childish namcalling will disapeare.. Youll likely have some great times ahead that will make everything worthwhile...
That's funny. I thought this when I was in Junior High School. "OK, granted, these nitwits will have the world handed to them, but at least the torment will end."
I'm 32 years old now. Been on the plank for 24 of those. A couple years ago, before I transitioned, there was some goon at another skatepark who wanted to beat me up, because he thought I was gay. And I've never been gay! It was just like 7th grade!
Quote from: katiej on September 24, 2014, 09:23:01 PM
Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got, my response is always the same... "Yeah, so's your boyfriend!" And. It. Works.
Mmm, I don't know if I would use this. It implies that somebody could possibly love them. Backwoods, ear-gauge-wearing, lip-ring-wearing, New Jersey redneck, with Apple earbuds in his ears, probably listening to Lucero or some other similar abomination to music. The different between a BMX bicycle and a vacuum cleaner, is the position of the dirtbag.
And for the record, I'm not letting my fellow skaters off the hook, either. So many skaters have to be the cool guy. For a group that prides itself on individuality, we sure are a conformist bunch. Ride that Real deck to show you're a rugged individual who knows the "true" roots of street skating. Your front foot must point forward when not doing a trick, to show how "casual" you are. And the only tricks they're allowed to do, are no-complies, wallies, and pivot to fakies. And one must NEVER look like they care. EVER.
Okay, that went a little off-topic.
If you'd be up for writing something about your experiences I have a skate blog where I talk about that kind of stuff.
With you 100% on how conformist skate culture can be seeing as individuality is so prized
Pardon my ignorance, but is not board almost perfectly fitted to slam it across someones lower back? Sometimes they wont shut up until a lesson has been taught...
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on September 25, 2014, 12:58:46 PM
Pardon my ignorance, but is not board almost perfectly fitted to slam it across someones lower back? Sometimes they wont shut up until a lesson has been taught...
Great! Then the legal system can misgender you and put you in the wrong prison!
Quote from: Alice Rogers on September 25, 2014, 01:03:33 PM
Great! Then the legal system can misgender you and put you in the wrong prison!
Well, it is flat enough to cause only pain without any serious bodily injuries -besides if that ignorant bigot is provoked to act out first, then we have perfect right to claim self-defence.
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on September 25, 2014, 01:20:05 PM
Well, it is flat enough to cause only pain without any serious bodily injuries -besides if that ignorant bigot is provoked to act out first, then we have perfect right to claim self-defence.
True true! :P
Aww, Mug hunni, I'm sorry you were subjected to morons like that :(
<3 *hugs* <3 (<< totally no homo by the way (..well, maybe a little bit lmao! :P ))
Quote from: Jill F on September 24, 2014, 06:27:28 PM
Methinks someone clearly doth protest too much.
Reminds me of a guy I used to work with who would address everyone with homophobic epithets all the time, as if he was obsessed with being the anti-queer. He would walk into the shop several times a week and announce his presence by yelling, "Hey, ->-bleeped-<-gots!"
He had a drug-induced meltdown one day, was fired on the spot and escorted out. A few days later his brother came in to collect his things, and announced that our former co-worker had been taken to rehab and that their father had searched his room for drug stashes, but instead found a trunk full of soiled dildos and gay porn.
"Did you all know he's gay?"
Lmao! As soon as I read your first couple of sentences, I knew exactly where that story was going :P
Modern society is filled with misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia.. it all really boggles my mind to be perfectly honest. Most animal species exhibit homosexual behaviour, but only one species exhibits homophobia ;)
Quote from: katiej on September 24, 2014, 09:23:01 PM
Some douchebag calls me a ->-bleeped-<-got...
lol, I don't want to be "that girl", but you do know what a "douche" is, don't you Katie? I don't mean that in a funny way, I just want to point out the irony in referring to those who call you a "->-bleeped-<-got" a "douchebag" lol :)
<3
Quote from: KiraD on September 25, 2014, 01:40:40 PM
lol, I don't want to be "that girl", but you do know what a "douche" is, don't you Katie? I don't mean that in a funny way, I just want to point out the irony in referring to those who call you a "->-bleeped-<-got" a "douchebag" lol :) <3
Of course I know what an actual douche bag is. But a douchebag is something very different. But just to be clear, here are a few definitions for the way I used it.
A jerk or a**hole; a mean or rude person; someone seen as being arrogant, snobby or obnoxious.
Or this one
An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.
And I really like this one:
The term "douchebag" generally refers to a male with a certain combination of obnoxious characteristics related to attitude, social ineptitude, public behavior, or outward presentation.
Though the common douchebag thinks he is accepted by the people around him, most of his peers dislike him. He has an inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a lack of social grace and self-awareness. He behaves inappropriately in public, yet is completely ignorant to how pathetic he appears to others.