Ok, I'Ve just been to another Psychiatrist appointment and the diagnosis?
Still Gender Dysphoria, but not just any Gender Dysphoria, I'm apparently atypical Gender Dysphoria.
Huh? Are you kidding me, I surely can't be the only transgender girl who has hidden this secret really really well for my entire life.
I'm told because I haven't spoken openly about it when growing up, or played with dolls, played dress ups or done a number of the other things you may commonly associate with a Gender Dysphoric individual, I'm in the atypical category. I just find that ridiculous.
I just find that really surprising and wondered how many others fit this bill?
So from a young age (17), Ive dressed in women's clothing, I've had mainly all female friends, have suffered depression, suicide attempts, drug abuse issues etc. but I still sit in the atypical group, I'm just struggling to understand there are not others who have hidden this secret so perfectly well that practically no one else would have known had you not 'come out'.
Do I sound atypical Gender Dysphoric based on what I've written above or definetly typical Gender Dysphoric?
Waves from across the nullarbor
Knew since I was a teenager but never went to see my G.P
Don't frequent any trans* clubs or the gay and lesbian areas
Didn't play with dolls
Dressed up once
Didn't talk about it
Wasn't suicidal, depressed or have any drinking or drug issues growing up
I didn't tell my parents (hey they let me get away with a lot but this is way outside of there box)
I didn't talk about wanting to be a girl at all. (Half the time I keep my cards so close to my chest, I didn't know if I was holding cards)
And around and around we went. None of us are cookie cutter ginger bread people, we are all individuals. (cue the Monty Python voice in the background "No I'm not"). About the only thing I did that was close to giving anyone a hint is not complaining when I spent all those years sleeping in my sister's room while she had mine. Seriously are you sure ours didn't read from the same textbook
Most transgenders are like this. The trouble is the media likes to promote the ' always played with dolls and dressed in girls clothes' thing and that becomes the typical trans story.
The reality is that most of us don't get the opportunity to express who were are until much later for all manner of reasons.
I refused to be baited into saying I played with dolls and pee'd sitting down and stayed honest and open about my life and my therapist made no attempt to single me out as more different then I already was.
Everyone is different and frankly I would find the idea of being labelled 'typical' anything insulting, congrats on confusing your therapist, hopefully he/she will learn something from it!
Alice
xx
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 06, 2014, 05:11:50 AM
Waves from across the nullarbor
Knew since I was a teenager but never went to see my G.P
Don't frequent any trans* clubs or the gay and lesbian areas
Didn't play with dolls
Dressed up once
Didn't talk about it
Wasn't suicidal, depressed or have any drinking or drug issues growing up
I didn't tell my parents (hey they let me get away with a lot but this is way outside of there box)
I didn't talk about wanting to be a girl at all. (Half the time I keep my cards so close to my chest, I didn't know if I was holding cards)
And around and around we went. None of us are cookie cutter ginger bread people, we are all individuals. (cue the Monty Python voice in the background "No I'm not"). About the only thing I did that was close to giving anyone a hint is not complaining when I spent all those years sleeping in my sister's room while she had mine. Seriously are you sure ours didn't read from the same textbook
Howdy neighbour :) so it sounds like you to are "atypical Gender Dysphoric". I think they did read fom the same text book, only problem is I've read the WPATH The Standards of Care (which I know that my psychiatrist has on his bookshelf) and I don't find a doll or a dress mentioned in there once!
Quote from: kaye on October 06, 2014, 05:22:34 AM
Most transgenders are like this. The trouble is the media likes to promote the ' always played with dolls and dressed in girls clothes' thing and that becomes the typical trans story.
The reality is that most of us don't get the opportunity to express who were are until much later for all manner of reasons.
I would agree Kaye, I haven't met anyone who meets the criteria of typical gender Dysphoric as described by my psychiatrist.
I should just tell him, yeah yeah, blah blah blah, just give me the letter, I'm clearly upset about my gender :icon_boxing:
Ok that may be a bit extreme. But we need some realistic views given to some of these health professionals. Don't get me wrong, he's great and all, but I'm only seeing him to get a letter with a formal diagnosis of gender Dysphoria. My GP is already prescribing hormones but still in case I need it in the future, I thought I best entertain his ideas. He even said to me today, "your looking very feminine today" ... "Umm, remember, I'm transgender and a woman so why wouldn't I be" lol
Quote from: Alice Rogers on October 06, 2014, 05:32:02 AM
I refused to be baited into saying I played with dolls and pee'd sitting down and stayed honest and open about my life and my therapist made no attempt to single me out as more different then I already was.
Everyone is different and frankly I would find the idea of being labelled 'typical' anything insulting, congrats on confusing your therapist, hopefully he/she will learn something from it!
Alice
xx
Thanks Alice, I was pretty wrapped for stumping him. I thought he was was going to call in the other Psychiatrists to study me, like I was the first trans woman who hadn't played with a doll lol
Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 05:35:15 AM
Thanks Alice, I was pretty wrapped for stumping him. I thought he was was going to call in the other Psychiatrists to study me, like I was the first trans woman who hadn't played with a doll lol
It is a shame the trans community isn't large enough for there to be many of us in the therapy/phsychiatry job ourselves, I suspect having a therapist who understands what you are going through would help!
I liked transformers and WWF, that doesn't make me male, it makes me me!
Alice
xx
edit: Still love WWE, it's a soap opera with muscly men wearing practically nothing in it! XD
I don't think there is actually is a typical case of GD.. My almost complete lack of body dysphoria made me therapist scratch his head for a bit..
4 years after I came out, it's all done and dusted - transition was right for me..
Quote from: Alice Rogers on October 06, 2014, 05:38:26 AM
It is a shame the trans community isn't large enough for there to be many of us in the therapy/phsychiatry job ourselves, I suspect having a therapist who understands what you are going through would help!
I liked transformers and WWF, that doesn't make me male, it makes me me!
Alice
xx
edit: Still love WWE, it's a soap opera with muscly men wearing practically nothing in it! XD
Well I didn't like WWF, but you know it's fake right Alice? I mean a pile driver would kill a man ;D sorry, I shouldn't have gone their. Your right, muscle men in tights, it's like soft porn :)
But seriously my Psychiatrist works in this field and is highly recommended in my state, that's probably why I was surprised with his finding. I think it would be great to see a psychiatrist who is themselves trans, I'm sure we wouldn't hear the word 'atypical' or 'typical' from them.
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 06, 2014, 05:45:56 AM
I don't think there is actually is a typical case of GD.. My almost complete lack of body dysphoria made me therapist scratch his head for a bit..
4 years after I came out, it's all done and dusted - transition was right for me..
Good to hear Kelly, I bet they go to the ANZPATH conference and just scratch their head going "I haven't had a single typical GD Client yet!" Lol
Of course its fake! That doesn't stop it from being entertaining! In fact for me it makes it that much funnier!
We are all different, trans or not.
I would be insulted if someone called me normal! XD
Alice
xx
Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 05:49:08 AM
Good to hear Kelly, I bet they go to the ANZPATH conference and just scratch their head going "I haven't had a single typical GD Client yet!" Lol
He's the President of ANZPATH.. >:-)
And he's not my therapist any more.. He set me free a couple of weeks ago. He sees no need for me to have ongoing therapy. He even accused me of being a strong, happy and confident woman..
Quote from: Alice Rogers on October 06, 2014, 05:56:35 AM
We are all different, trans or not.
I would be insulted if someone called me normal! XD
Thanks girls, you know I feel so much better, in fact I'm feeling like 'the strangest, most different and oddest' transwoman that my therapist has come across. Good on me, yay :icon_dance:
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 06, 2014, 05:58:15 AM
He's the President of ANZPATH.. >:-)
Oh dear Kelly, we're all doomed. Even the president can't figure us out how will the therapists lol
Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 06:08:44 AM
Thanks girls, you know I feel so much better, in fact I'm feeling like 'the strangest, most different and oddest' transwoman that my therapist has come across. Good on me, yay :icon_dance:
Oh dear Kelly, we're all doomed. Even the president can't figure us out how will the therapists lol
Nah, he was all good.. He got a handle on it pretty quick. In fact, he was ready to recommend hormones for me long before I asked for them.
Cool, that's good Kelly. I think they just want to make sure we know what we're getting into. Next appointment for me is 6 weeks and he's said he'll write a letter to my GP endorsing hormones. So that's all good. He did say he would have endorsed much earlier but previous depression and substance abuse were both complicating factors.
Previous meth and coke addict.. But clean for over 10 years, so it wasn't an issue..
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 06, 2014, 06:36:26 AM
Previous meth and coke addict.. But clean for over 10 years, so it wasn't an issue..
That's awsome Kelly, you should be so proud. I know it's not easy but once we get clean life's just so much better. Mine was 8 years ago so I didn't think it would have been an issue but he thought it was. Plus there were earlier times when I was younger too. But haven't touched it in 8 years and wouldn't ever again :angel:
Why do you need to see a psychiatrist to get a letter?
My gender dysphoria was once completely dismissed as a psychosis by a psychiatrist once. Tried to get me onto anti-psychotic meds which I never took.
Quote from: kaye on October 06, 2014, 07:02:36 AM
Why do you need to see a psychiatrist to get a letter?
My gender dysphoria was once completely dismissed as a psychosis by a psychiatrist once. Tried to get me onto anti-psychotic meds which I never took.
Report them for malpractice..
I was working under some dodgy legislation and the previous version of the SoC's - 3 months therapy required..
Quote from: kaye on October 06, 2014, 07:02:36 AM
Why do you need to see a psychiatrist to get a letter?
My gender dysphoria was once completely dismissed as a psychosis by a psychiatrist once. Tried to get me onto anti-psychotic meds which I never took.
I need either a Psychiatrist or Psychologist to endorse the use of hormones. Endo won't prescribe unless he has endorsement that I'm not insane ;)
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 06, 2014, 07:05:39 AM
Report them for malpractice..
I was working under some dodgy legislation and the previous version of the SoC's - 3 months therapy required..
That was my understanding Kelly, are you saying version 7 doesn't require 3 months therapy?
Version 7 of the SOC does not require 3 months therapy. I'll need to update my Psychiatrist.
The criteria for hormone therapy are as follows:
1. Persistent, well-documented gender dysphoria;
2. Capacity to make a fully informed decision and to consent for treatment;
3. Age of majority in a given country (if younger, follow the SOC outlined in section VI);
4. If significant medical or mental health concerns are present, they must be reasonably well- controlled.
I'm just going to chime into the original poster with that I, like you, didn't play with girly things or dress up or demand to wear dresses or anything like that when I was a kid. Then again, when I was a kid it was the late 70s and early 80s, so the knowledge of what transgender is was very limited, and pretty much nonexistent to the public. If I'd known that being transsexual was something that I could do, I definitely would have asserted myself more. But at the time, I was labeled boy, so I did boy things. From what I've seen and experienced, this is the more typical trans narrative than playing with dolls and raiding mommy's closet and that kind of thing, so you're far from alone.
Okay. Now that I think about it I did play with dolls. They were just called 'Action Figures.' :D
I never ever liked dolls of any kind, my thing was dinos , T-Rex and friends
For me? Transformers and Legos.
Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 07:19:22 AM
Version 7 of the SOC does not require 3 months therapy. I'll need to update my Psychiatrist.
The criteria for hormone therapy are as follows:
1. Persistent, well-documented gender dysphoria;
2. Capacity to make a fully informed decision and to consent for treatment;
3. Age of majority in a given country (if younger, follow the SOC outlined in section VI);
4. If significant medical or mental health concerns are present, they must be reasonably well- controlled.
Yeah mine had trouble with me and number four on numerous occasions. I still don't think he completely trusted me when he signed off on the hormones
Lego, Transformers, Construx, science nerd stuff out the wazoo (telescope, chemistry set, detailed lunar poster)
Only time I really played with dolls was teaching a family friend's daughters how to take elastic from their mum's sewing kit and make bungie cords for Barbie & Skipper :D
I dressed up very infrequently (two maybe 3 binge+purges over 20ish years), with a few excursions to comic conventions dressed as "a character from a web comic I draw" who wore an ankle length wrap-skirt type deal, w/ a sleeveless hoodie.
Most of my "dress up" was vicariously living as a woman in RPG's like World of Warcraft.
My body dysphoria was in the form of frequently looking in mirrors in existentialist fugues going "Who are you?" Back in the day when LiveJournal was the bee's knees, every so often I'd end up writing a post about looking in mirrors and 'seeing an empty shell' and fall into a philosophical rambling about 'what makes a person a person, and how exactly do we know who we are?' Which everyone just took as me being an overly-introspective-crazy-artsy type.
I never had the "typical" hatred for my genitals. It was more of a passive-aggressive disdain, and no emotional attachment or concern if/when they got injured.
TL:DR summary: "Typical" is just a term used to try and make things easier to parse. "Normal" is a vague definition based around what the socially accepted average is.
I grew up with only one younger brother, so dolls and girls clothes were just not available. Although I did spend a lot of time in my mom's closet any chance I got after about the age of 11 or so.
For me it was always that I really wished I was a girl, but figured that I wasn't. So I tried really hard to be a guy...and just never quite succeeded IMO.
This whole "typical dysphoric" nonsense is actually what convinced me not to transition in my early 20's. I read as much as I could...well...as much as was available 15 years ago. And because I didn't have a tragic upbringing, was never abused, never took drugs, never attempted suicide, etc. I figured I must not really be transgender because it wasn't a life or death issue for me like it was supposed to be.
It wasn't until just a year ago that I realized that other people don't spend considerable amounts of time wishing they were the other gender. And they certainly aren't driven towards self-destructive and suicidal tendencies because of it. So clearly...THAT makes me transgender.
Quote from: katiej on October 06, 2014, 06:53:36 PM
This whole "typical dysphoric" nonsense is actually what convinced me not to transition in my early 20's. I read as much as I could...well...as much as was available 15 years ago. And because I didn't have a tragic upbringing, was never abused, never took drugs, never attempted suicide, etc. I figured I must not really be transgender because it wasn't a life or death issue for me like it was supposed to be.
It wasn't until just a year ago that I realized that other people don't spend considerable amounts of time wishing they were the other gender. And they certainly aren't driven towards self-destructive and suicidal tendencies because of it. So clearly...THAT makes me transgender.
Sounds very much the same as my 20's. Persistent and obsessive thoughts of wanting to be a woman, but dismissing it as a phase since I didn't match up on other qualifying markers'
For me, transition isn't an escape from a horrible existence as a man. It's about becoming who I really am. Cause I'm just not...this.
I am definitely dysphoric, but it's more an obsession about being a woman rather than hatred of being MAAB. Make sense?
"Atypical" would pretty much describe anyone's GD who was born before the 1970's! Pull-eeeze! Everything you described was the "normal" way of handling it.
Quote from: katiej on October 06, 2014, 06:53:36 PM
I grew up with only one younger brother, so dolls and girls clothes were just not available. Although I did spend a lot of time in my mom's closet any chance I got after about the age of 11 or so.
For me it was always that I really wished I was a girl, but figured that I wasn't. So I tried really hard to be a guy...and just never quite succeeded IMO.
This whole "typical dysphoric" nonsense is actually what convinced me not to transition in my early 20's. I read as much as I could...well...as much as was available 15 years ago. And because I didn't have a tragic upbringing, was never abused, never took drugs, never attempted suicide, etc. I figured I must not really be transgender because it wasn't a life or death issue for me like it was supposed to be.
It wasn't until just a year ago that I realized that other people don't spend considerable amounts of time wishing they were the other gender. And they certainly aren't driven towards self-destructive and suicidal tendencies because of it. So clearly...THAT makes me transgender.
If anything is the typical trans narrative this is it. Fits me and many others.
Quote from: ElDudette on October 06, 2014, 07:26:20 PM
Sounds very much the same as my 20's. Persistent and obsessive thoughts of wanting to be a woman, but dismissing it as a phase since I didn't match up on other qualifying markers'
Oh, God, me too.
I hate making a post that pretty much says nothing beyond that, but that's pretty much exactly me.
"Normal" is highly overrated anyway.
Quote from: Jill F on October 06, 2014, 09:55:17 PM
"Normal" is highly overrated anyway.
My motto Jill. I don't even care to be normal.
Atypical and typical gender dysphoria. Well I played with dolls growing up and still pee standing up unless I am dressed in a skirt. It is more convenient so I guess I'm atypical too. :-\ I did the doll thing because all my family members were girls that were around my age. All the other kids my age that lived around me were girls too. What sux and is really atypical is that I am more girly than some of those female cousins. That is the epitome of irony. :-\ Most of them have hunted and killed more deer than I have. Me,0, them, all except for one, 2 or more.
Well it sounds like not one of us are actually what my Psychiatrist (or anyone's for that matter) would call typical Gender Dysphoric individuals. So where have they got this idea that there is a typical version of us? So their must be an awful lot of atypical gender Dysphoria diagnosiss going around.
Or perhaps the whole concept is flawed, the idea of what is typical of a transgender person. I think we are as varied as the spectrum of gender itself.
I'm having a talk with my psychiatrist, this girls not a happy camper >:-)
Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 04:40:07 AM
I'm told because I haven't spoken openly about it when growing up, or played with dolls, played dress ups or done a number of the other things you may commonly associate with a Gender Dysphoric individual, I'm in the atypical category. I just find that ridiculous.
[SCREAMS! STARTS PULLING HER HAIR OUT! THROWS BREAKABLE OBJECTS AT THE WALL!]
Honestly, cisgender people drive me around the twist sometimes. They totally repress us and then blame us for not expressing "typical transgender behaviour".
Like when I put on a dress for the first time at the age of 4. Tell me, doc, is that "typical transgender behaviour"? And then my dad made it plain to me that there would be the direst of consequences if I ever did that again. So is it any surprise if it was quite some time before I expressed any "typical transgender behaviour" again? And when I did it I made sure to keep it secret so that nobody would know about it? So is there anyone in my family who can testify that I was exhibiting "typical transgender behaviour"?
And why didn't I ever play with a doll? Maybe because there was no way Mommy and Daddy would ever buy me one? And why didn't I wear a formal gown to the prom instead of a tux? Very stupid of me. I'm sure the school administration wouldn't have had any objections.
Sometimes you think that cispeople must be total eejits. Another of my favorites is when they sanctimoniously point out that even after transitioning transpeople display more suicidal tendencies and morbid behaviour than cispeople. Well, maybe you could stop tormenting us, maybe you could leave us in peace to get on with our lives and then we'd be a bit better adjusted. Is that possible?
I don't know about "typical transgender behaviour", but typical cisgender behaviour can be a bit questionable at times. Jaysus!!!
My psychologist seemed to be hung up on the fact that I didn't go drag, at least in private at all. Sure I did it when I was a kid with my sister and friends, but when your step-father stops finding it cute and starts beating you for it you kinda stop. She also really grilled me about my hair, first came in with 2 week growth off a buzz. It really was just force of habit, to "be a man", and I've been growing it out since. She has since written me my HRT letter and set up an appointment with an endocrinologist. I still haven't heard an official diagnosis, I'll ask tomorrow when I see her I guess.
Quote from: Andreja Silvija on October 07, 2014, 01:45:42 PM
My psychologist seemed to be hung up on the fact that I didn't go drag, at least in private at all. Sure I did it when I was a kid with my sister and friends, but when your step-father stops finding it cute and starts beating you for it you kinda stop. She also really grilled me about my hair, first came in with 2 week growth off a buzz. It really was just force of habit, to "be a man", and I've been growing it out since. She has since written me my HRT letter and set up an appointment with an endocrinologist. I still haven't heard an official diagnosis, I'll ask tomorrow when I see her I guess.
IIRC, one of the components of The Letter is that you are diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. At least that was a requirement from my Endo.
Quote from: kaye on October 06, 2014, 05:22:34 AM
Most transgenders are like this. The trouble is the media likes to promote the ' always played with dolls and dressed in girls clothes' thing and that becomes the typical trans story.
The reality is that most of us don't get the opportunity to express who were are until much later for all manner of reasons.
This.
How twas I supposed to dress up when I lived with my dad and there were zero articles of women's clothing in the house? Sure, when I was at my mom's I went to town. At my dad's house I even borrowed my cuz's without them knowing (I hope). They lived next door. Buying dresses, bras and panties in the store was not possible... I would get laughed out of it in my transphobic country, IF I even had money to do so.
I'm not sure why this upsets you? It's a diagnosis. It's supportive. You're going to get what you want.
Most therapists carry some of their own baggage. I wouldn't worry about it. Take the positives and run with them! :)
Quote from: LizMarie on October 07, 2014, 08:04:59 PM
I'm not sure why this upsets you? It's a diagnosis. It's supportive. You're going to get what you want.
Most therapists carry some of their own baggage. I wouldn't worry about it. Take the positives and run with them! :)
Well I'm not losing sleep over this Liz so that's a good thing. But this for me is a discussion primarily about what is deemed to be normal, or consistently the majority. And I really disagree when terms are thrown around like that because it implies there is an abnormal also. So are we all 'normal'? If I was to use the approach of my therapist I would have to say 'no' we're not, we're abnormal. But I disagree with that completely. Because what is normal? I mean it's 'normal' for the sun to rise in the morning. But I have personal experience and loads of evidence to back up that finding. So if my therapist had personal experience and also a truckload of evidence to backup any such claim that one is 'typical' or 'atypical' then this post may not exist. But he doesn't, the assumption of 'typical' has been made I assume, on nothing more than what the media or Hollywood portrays us as. And that I would like to change. Still working out how though ???
Ok, my rant is now over. Sorry everyone, Bree gets carried away sometimes
*sigh*
Quote from: BreezyB on October 07, 2014, 04:17:48 AM
Well it sounds like not one of us are actually what my Psychiatrist (or anyone's for that matter) would call typical Gender Dysphoric individuals. So where have they got this idea that there is a typical version of us? So their must be an awful lot of atypical gender Dysphoria diagnosiss going around.
Or perhaps the whole concept is flawed, the idea of what is typical of a transgender person. I think we are as varied as the spectrum of gender itself.
I'm having a talk with my psychiatrist, this girls not a happy camper >:-)
Because they learn from what they read or are taught or learn from conferences. As for atypical or typical person LGBT or cis, I wish someone could show me a typical person. I don't think I have ever met a purely typical person in my life. Typical and atypical are pretty much generalizations and doesn't mean normal or abnormal. They are just going by studies and certain markers to diagnose.
Quote from: Jess42 on October 08, 2014, 07:59:36 AM
Because they learn from what they read or are taught or learn from conferences. As for atypical or typical person LGBT or cis, I wish someone could show me a typical person. I don't think I have ever met a purely typical person in my life. Typical and atypical are pretty much generalizations and doesn't mean normal or abnormal. They are just going by studies and certain markers to diagnose.
I would have to agree Jess. So maybe more of us should be attending these conferences to give therapists a true perspective. Or better yet, who wants to be a therapist? Anyone, anyone, anyone? :eusa_snooty:
Ok I'll come back to that question....
So gatekeepers push us to tell a specific sort of story, with the threat of withholding treatment... then turn around and declare that story is "typical" and what they usually hear? Gee, I wonder why?!! (Not this therapist in particular, just that there's a reason why this narrative is typical, all right.)
I didn't realize I needed to transition until I was 32, and I lived happily as a guy up until then. I guess I'm extra-special atypical. I also transitioned in 11 months and am still thrilled about it, so whatever; the insistence on the typical narrative had me, too, convinced that I was faking or wrong for a long time, but now I'd say I've proven I'm "really" trans. So there. :)
Hi hi! Ah I don't fall under the so called typical gender dysphoria. I didn't like playing with dolls or figures or toy cars but I preferred puzzles, marbles, lego or reading. As for dressing up I actually liked only wearing underwear when I was really young and a little older I would not wear a shirt whenever I can hahaha. But I didn't have a preference besides just anything comfy. Also for what activities I liked doing outside when I was younger was swimming, racquet sports or just running.
I hate the old fashioned views on transsexuals. It tries to lump us all together. It says that we're very effeminate boys growing up, constantly taking up very stereotypical feminine activities and were gay men at some point. We're told we have to be hyperfeminine, wear dresses constantly, have long slowing hair, cake on make up and have surgeries to pass flawlessly. The old school way of thinking was to have us adopt a 1950's stereotype and hide the fact that we were assigned male at birth. The whole thing is just really creepy if you ask me. I say the only true common experience that we have is that we have dysphoria, the disconnect between our gender and our physical sex. Everyone experiences it differently and in no way do we need anyone, especially professionals, to stereotype us.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 08, 2014, 08:48:41 AM
the insistence on the typical narrative had me, too, convinced that I was faking or wrong for a long time, but now I'd say I've proven I'm "really" trans. So there. :)
It's not just the therapists, many of those who transitioned pre-2000 seem to have adopted a ->-bleeped-<-r-than-thou attitude...like they're trying to maintain the purity of the trans community. And unfortunately they're the ones who have written most of the information about being transgender, at least what's available online.
I understand that they're trying to put the fear of God into people who probably shouldn't transition, but the "typical trans" narrative is what had me convinced for 15 years that I couldn't really be transgender
Katiej : True enough, though I got the sense that in some cases that too could be laid t the therapists' door - some of the earlier transitioners learned that this was the precise narrative they had to memorize and regurgitate, and they're trying to enforce it on the new generation (either out of a misguided effort to be helpful, or the belief that if they had to jump through those hoops so should everyone).
Someone like us likely wouldn't have been allowed to transition 20 years ago, so some of those who did it back then think we really are NOT trans, I guess. But the joke's on them. :)
(I do know what you mean, though. Ironically, I had a therapist who was 100% supportive of both me and people with non-binary identities, and all the pushback I received about not being trans enough came from other trans women.)
By all accounts transitioning 20+ years ago was a horrific experience. And i think the enormity of their accomplishment contributes to a sense of superiority over those of us whose transition has been comparatively easier.
They seem to think that anyone who doesn't fit their stereotype is really just a cross-dresser taking it too far.
I don't think there is such thing as atypical gender dysphoric. We're all atypical as defined by our society in some way, whatever label we identify ourselves. CDs, trans, transgender, drag queens/kings, etc etc, we are all seen as exotic at the very least. It's improving, slowly. But I say who cares. If you're dysphoric, then you're most likely trans and it's not you liking video games or playing football that will invalidade your experience. You are 100% justified in the way you feel. This how I feel about this. If you're in pain because of your assigned sex characteristics and would live better as a woman, then who is to say you're not trans but something else. Ugh. Forget labels, move on with your life, and find with what you want and can live with.
A lot of the times in the media you only see where the person knew pretty much since birth that they were trans, and played with specific toys or wore certain clothing to try and feel comfortable. When I first started questioning my gender, I didn't think I could be trans because I haven't always known I am male. I just don't see how they can say that you are "atypical" because in my opinion there is no "definitive trans experience"....rather, it's objective.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 08, 2014, 11:56:27 AM
Katiej : True enough, though I got the sense that in some cases that too could be laid t the therapists' door - some of the earlier transitioners learned that this was the precise narrative they had to memorize and regurgitate, and they're trying to enforce it on the new generation
I would agree Jenna and this certainly crossed my mind before starting to transition. I mean I didn't present any of the so called 'stereotypical' behaviours, so I was convinced that in order to begin HRT I would need to put on a show. Luckily though, that is not me, and so I sat there with my Psychiatrist scratching his head, and he even said and I quote "I just don't get it" (whilst scratching his head!).
The other side of this is of course when we're made to jump through hoops it may drive an individual to take things into their own hands in terms of hormones which would be highly dangerous and not advised by any means.
So we have one of two choices when we realize and wish to go on hormones.
Try to get it through our doctors we are all unique and no two people are the same
"You are all individuals"
"We are all individuals"
"No I'm not"
"Shhh"
(The Life of Brian)
OR
We can grab the textbooks, read, memorize and regurgitate the script until everyone involved get psittacosis. Due to the amount of parroting on we are doing. Yet the problem with that is we only become part of the problem and for the next generation (older or younger). The solution may have become all the more harder for them
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 08, 2014, 08:21:52 PM
We can grab the textbooks, read, memorize and regurgitate the script until everyone involved get psittacosis. Due to the amount of parroting on we are doing. Yet the problem with that is we only become part of the problem and for the next generation (older or younger). The solution may have become all the more harder for them
Unfortunately I think that may cross many a trans persons mind. But yes, we would simply be perpetuating an already challenging situation.
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 08, 2014, 08:21:52 PM
So we have one of two choices when we realize and wish to go on hormones.
Try to get it through our doctors we are all unique and no two people are the same
"You are all individuals"
"We are all individuals"
"No I'm not"
"Shhh"
(The Life of Brian)
OR
We can grab the textbooks, read, memorize and regurgitate the script until everyone involved get psittacosis. Due to the amount of parroting on we are doing. Yet the problem with that is we only become part of the problem and for the next generation (older or younger). The solution may have become all the more harder for them
I never had any issues with the first option.. He was quite aware we are all individuals - hell, I don't make the requirements for a diagnosis under the DSM and as such, fail the WPATH requirements. I'm pleased to close the chapter in my life called 'Transition'.. He used his experience to work with me, not merely check off my 'symptoms'. It was also quite clear that the second option would not work with him.
I just went in there and told the truth about my life experiences and how I felt. I don't think anyone should have to go in feeling like they have to convince their therapist that they are trans. If you are, you are. Seeing that people make up stories to get on HRT makes me a little sad. :(
I've found that a lot of girls' experiences are quite different from mine since joining this site. All together the diagnosis and treatment of Gender Dysphoria is highly individualized.
I asked my psychologist today what my diagnosis was, she just said the only issue I have is gender dysphoria. I suppose she figured we both knew that already. ;) She's going to get me my carry letter next session. Anyway, she didn't mention anything about being atypical or normal transgender.
Quote from: kelly_aus on October 09, 2014, 02:17:37 AM
I never had any issues with the first option.. He was quite aware we are all individuals - hell, I don't make the requirements for a diagnosis under the DSM and as such, fail the WPATH requirements. I'm pleased to close the chapter in my life called 'Transition'.. He used his experience to work with me, not merely check off my 'symptoms'. It was also quite clear that the second option would not work with him.
Kelly if that was your experience. Well then IF my body decides to play games with me this time around (anti convulsants and hormones can be fun). I might just move to South Australia next time I have the courage and confidence to try again. By the end I was starting to wonder if mine was even listening to me, it just seemed we where going around in circles half the time :eusa_wall:
Quote from: immortal gypsy on October 09, 2014, 03:02:06 AM
Kelly if that was your experience. Well then IF my body decides to play games with me this time around (anti convulsants and hormones can be fun). I might just move to South Australia next time I have the courage and confidence to try again. By the end I was starting to wonder if mine was even listening to me, it just seemed we where going around in circles half the time :eusa_wall:
Well, I know he has an opening, he set me free a couple of weeks back..
I agree there is no 'typical' gender dysphoria, and I guess since finding out I'm intersexed I don't know what I am. Am I transgendered or intersexed or both? Seriously. I did all the little girl things till about four and was forbidden from dressing up or getting into my mom's makeup and stopped till about twelve. I told my mom at twelve though , that if I couldn't live as a girl I didn't want to live, so I guess that was pretty heavy. Told most of my good friends and most every girlfriend I had. Finally, at sixteen I told my dad, too, and my mom hadn't told him anything about me being in her clothes and makeup every time she left and I was home. They sent me to a psychiatrist, who had my hormones and chromosomes tested. I had low testosterone, high estrogen, but my chromosomes were XY. I didn't hide it well, because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. If my mom would have told me at twelve or if both my parents would have told me I was intersexed at sixteen, my whole life would have been different and had some meaning forty odd years before it finally did. I raced motocross, was addicted to basketball, pitched in a summer league for a college team and was a very good tennis player. I still couldn't hide it and the fact that I was always more attracted to men than women, but that took me decades to really come to terms with. Now I'd never be with a woman, cis or trans. I just want a straight guy, my guy.
In a country with strict gatekeeping, I can understand toeing the company line and telling them what they want to hear. After all, they set up those hoops, and they expect us to jump through them.
I haven't felt a need to convince my therapist of my transness. Cis people don't obsess over gender like I do. So that's all the diagnosis I need. So i treat my therapist more like a life coach who's helping me get through transition.
At least in a few states in the US we have a handful of informed consent endocrinologists. For some people a therapist is a great idea, but for me it's a massive waste of time and money.
Quote from: Skeptoid on October 09, 2014, 03:14:42 PM
At least in a few states in the US we have a handful of informed consent endocrinologists. For some people a therapist is a great idea, but for me it's a massive waste of time and money.
I think the informed consent model is good. The only concern from a government perspective I think is you effectively providing the ability for an individual to write their own script.
I have found therapy to be very useful, psychologist has been great, psychiatrist just seems to be a really expensive person holding a series of hoops for me to jump through. A bit like a well paid circus performer really lol.
I think if money was tight, unfortunately therapy is the thing that would go. A bit like when ones budget is tight, insurance is often the one on the chopping block. We don't need it until it's too late :)
I totally agree with Alice, I loved playing with Hotwheels as a kid, never once played with a doll. Nothing wrong with enjoying a few predominately male hobbies.
Quote from: Alice Rogers on October 06, 2014, 05:38:26 AM
It is a shame the trans community isn't large enough for there to be many of us in the therapy/phsychiatry job ourselves, I suspect having a therapist who understands what you are going through would help!
I liked transformers and WWF, that doesn't make me male, it makes me me!
Alice
xx
edit: Still love WWE, it's a soap opera with muscly men wearing practically nothing in it! XD