Okay, sooo I've been on these forums for a while now & I've noticed that although many have their sad, dysphoric days, a lot of you are so happy & content with your transitions & passibility. I feel like, visually, I'm a passable person but what gives me away is my height & my voice. I fall into the tall category for a girl & I've noticed that when I speak, people stare at me. Until I speak, they only take a look, & not so much stare. (I really wonder what goes through their minds when they hear me talk) . Anyways, I'm just not that confident of a person to think I'm so fishy that nobody will know I'm TS by looking at me & although some may say I'm stealth, I'm really not & if I am, it's only by chance, not exactly by trying. Like I said, most people don't even take a second look unless I speak, in which case they keep taking more looks or just altogether stare as if they've never seen a tgirl before.
So once again, back on topic, how do you guys stay so content & sure of your passibility? I feel like anxiety from being TS has been etched into my soul.
I'm with you girl I'm the same exact way tall for a girl and feel like I passed pretty well until I talk and have TS anxiety as well! I have kind of noticed though that when people stare I just stare back at him with a big smile and they usually turn away!
Me too.
6 ft tall and my voice uugh. haha
My looks I am working on, always WIP. ;D
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 03:11:58 PM
Okay, sooo I've been on these forums for a while now & I've noticed that although many have their sad, dysphoric days, a lot of you are so happy & content with your transitions & passibility. I feel like, visually, I'm a passable person but what gives me away is my height & my voice. I fall into the tall category for a girl & I've noticed that when I speak, people stare at me. Until I speak, they only take a look, & not so much stare. (I really wonder what goes through their minds when they hear me talk) . Anyways, I'm just not that confident of a person to think I'm so fishy that nobody will know I'm TS by looking at me & although some may say I'm stealth, I'm really not & if I am, it's only by chance, not exactly by trying. Like I said, most people don't even take a second look unless I speak, in which case they keep taking more looks or just altogether stare as if they've never seen a tgirl before.
So once again, back on topic, how do you guys stay so content & sure of your passibility? I feel like anxiety from being TS has been etched into my soul.
I seen your photos and you probably seen me whine also on this forum about sugar coating. Which I really do not. And you surely pass without a doubt as a sexy lady o.o.
Not sure what your height is and being 6.2ft myself I cannot say that 5.9 is short. In the Netherlands you would be short yes, but anywhere else it probably is pretty tall. But you look as pass-able as possible judging from the pictures I have seen. Tall stands out but as long as you rock it, you will just impress people. I really wouldn't worry about that if I were you.
About my voice, I recall being in a drag-queen bar once. One drag-queen, clearly as the name states a man with a lot of make-up, took it less extreme and looked very feminine. He spoke with a heavier voice but even so.. it made you doubt? I once had an interview myself with four people in front of me. When I get nervous and have to present myself I lower my voice automatically. Even so two of them addressed me as a he the other two as a she.
Voice is a tricky one and when on the phone.. I am always addressed with sir (which I hate, stop putting sir at the end of a sentence x_X) Just work on your voice so it sounds androgynous enough in real time.
Quote from: Kirey on November 22, 2014, 04:01:56 PM
I seen your photos and you probably seen me whine also on this forum about sugar coating. Which I really do not. And you surely pass without a doubt as a sexy lady o.o.
Not sure what your height is and being 6.2ft myself I cannot say that 5.9 is short. In the Netherlands you would be short yes, but anywhere else it probably is pretty tall. But you look as pass-able as possible judging from the pictures I have seen. Tall stands out but as long as you rock it, you will just impress people. I really wouldn't worry about that if I were you.
About my voice, I recall being in a drag-queen bar once. One drag-queen, clearly as the name states a man with a lot of make-up, took it less extreme and looked very feminine. He spoke with a heavier voice but even so.. it made you doubt? I once had an interview myself with four people in front of me. When I get nervous and have to present myself I lower my voice automatically. Even so two of them addressed me as a he the other two as a she.
Voice is a tricky one and when on the phone.. I am always addressed with sir (which I hate, stop putting sir at the end of a sentence x_X) Just work on your voice so it sounds androgynous enough in real time.
I'm actually 5'8" lol Barely scraping, but still 5'8". Everyone around here is Mexican & Mexican girls are really short (Usually around 5'3" & below). I feel like even 5'7" would be kind of tall around here. & Thank you for your kind words :) You're very pretty! & about the voice thing, I actually instinctively raise my voice when I'm answering / talking on the phone versus when I'm in public. I talk with my completely normal voice in public but online & over the phone, I talk in a higher pitch. I don't ever get sir'd on the phone, but alas, real life is not on the phone :/ It's scary talking in the female voice around friends because I'm afraid they'll tell me I sound annoying or it's weird or something.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 03:11:58 PM
So once again, back on topic, how do you guys stay so content & sure of your passibility? I feel like anxiety from being TS has been etched into my soul.
Cause of my voice mainly and hair but I do have a very fem figure too. If I didn't have my voice, I would be having tons of anxiety out in public.
Quote from: AngieFerg on November 22, 2014, 06:23:53 PM
I have similar issues Princess Jasmine. I'm not tall I'm 5'8" and 132 pounds but I have a deep voice and am not perfectly passable. I really hate it too. I started HRT at 24 19 years ago and was extremely unhappy, I would say more than extremely, it literally drove me insane it was so out of control, with what puberty had done to my appearance, both face and body. From very passable and pretty to possessing mannishness that I had never seen before. I wish I could say I was content and happy but not to sugarcoat I'm really not. I can pass physically although not as well as I would like but I really lost my attractiveness with the last part of puberty, which happened right before I began HRT. My voice is much like you described. Once I open my mouth it's all over. I'm sorry to come off so negative. These things really depress me and have for a very long time. I'm going back to therapy over them.
5'8" is tall for a girl isn't it? I'm 5'8" too & it's usually taller than other girls :p If the features were bothering you so much, would you consider FFS? It can do wonders. Also, are you still on HRT? Or did you stop from the dysphoria? Allowing the HRT the time to reverse what puberty had done is part of the process too :x
I had FFS Princess Jasmine with Dr. Ousterhout. It was not miraculous. It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. I met some nice TS people while I was there but the surgery was disappointing. I spent a lot of money. In the pre-operative visit he told me that my forehead bone was very thin and he would not be able to give me as much reduction as he would prefer to be able to. That was based on my pre-operative x-rays. That was back in 2008.
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on November 22, 2014, 06:38:33 PM
Cause of my voice mainly and hair but I do have a very fem figure too. If I didn't have my voice, I would be having tons of anxiety out in public.
How did you achieve it? :o
Quote from: AngieFerg on November 22, 2014, 06:45:21 PM
I had FFS Princess Jasmine with Dr. Ousterhout. It was not miraculous. It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped. I met some nice TS people while I was there but the surgery was disappointing. I spent a lot of money. In the pre-operative visit he told me that my forehead bone was very thin and he would not be able to give me as much reduction as he would prefer to be able to. That was based on my pre-operative x-rays. That was back in 2008.
I'm sorry to hear that :/ Are you sure you're not passable? Or is it just the dysphoria? I can't imagine someone who started hormones when they were 24 not being passable
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 03:11:58 PM
Okay, sooo I've been on these forums for a while now & I've noticed that although many have their sad, dysphoric days, a lot of you are so happy & content with your transitions & passibility. I feel like, visually, I'm a passable person but what gives me away is my height & my voice. I fall into the tall category for a girl & I've noticed that when I speak, people stare at me. Until I speak, they only take a look, & not so much stare. (I really wonder what goes through their minds when they hear me talk) . Anyways, I'm just not that confident of a person to think I'm so fishy that nobody will know I'm TS by looking at me & although some may say I'm stealth, I'm really not & if I am, it's only by chance, not exactly by trying. Like I said, most people don't even take a second look unless I speak, in which case they keep taking more looks or just altogether stare as if they've never seen a tgirl before.
So once again, back on topic, how do you guys stay so content & sure of your passibility? I feel like anxiety from being TS has been etched into my soul.
Jasmine I have seen you post plenty of times and you are one of the prettiest girls here... 5'8 is with in the normal height for a girl. My mom is 5'8. Appearance wise I would say that there is absolutely nothing I have seen from your pics that would tell me that you are trans.
I think many of us struggle with confidence for long time, but I feel like the more you are out an about the more confident you will get. Any kind of transition always takes getting used to. whether it is moving to one city to another, leaving high school to go to college, or a mtf transition. It takes time to adjust in any of these cases. Some of the things you have to adjust to is the fact that people treat you differently. our society tends to put a lot more pressure on womens appearance then mens, so people tend to put a lot more of their focus on your appearance now that you are a women then they did when you were living as a boy.
just because you were getting stared at doesn't mean that its because they knew you were trans. it is likely that they might have just thought you were pretty. women always complain about getting stared at. Im guessing most the time people are staring at them it has nothing to do with them being perceived as trans.
as far as the voice goes just practice, practice, practice. Its really hard getting that right though.
I find that passing is all about confidence regardless of anything else.
Anxiety is just a fear ( sometime irrational, sometimes not ). Although anxiety comes first, it's what is before confidence. I remember the days before I found my confidence. I didn't pass, which gave me huge amounts of anxiety. But I've never let anxiety stop me. 99 times out of 100, the fear behind it is baseless. And so what anyway? I wasn't going to stop being the authentic me. And so confidence grew every time I pushed anxiety away.
Having said that, my confidence was shattered with one particular public and embarrassing event some time ago. It was shattered because I started denying and repressing being trans. It turned from a fact into a weapon, which when called out ripped me to shreds. I've learned a lot from that, and learned to own being trans as much as anything else. Then it's not something that can hurt me.
Now days, I've no idea how other people perceive me. I just go about my way and don't really take notice. There are no issues when chatting to anyone or doing anything. I occasionally notice guys checking me out, but otherwise I'm basically ignored ( which is just perfect ). I believe this is just blending in, which has always been my goal. But I've also little to be anxious about ( I think ). While I am tall at 6", my body is mildly feminine, and my voice is good. I don't just talk the talk :).
So if you get anxiety over your voice which you know isn't where it needs to be, then invest and fix it ( I'm suggesting therapy, not surgery ). You're going to need your voice for the rest of your life, so invest... :).
If you get anxiety over things like height ( which you're not tall compared ), then you're going to have to learn to deal with it. Anxiety over something you cannot change doesn't have much purpose. Remind yourself of that every time, and soon it will just be, and it won't bother you as it does now.
Quote from: amber roskamp on November 22, 2014, 06:53:25 PM
Jasmine I have seen you post plenty of times and you are one of the prettiest girls here... 5'8 is with in the normal height for a girl. My mom is 5'8. Appearance wise I would say that there is absolutely nothing I have seen from your pics that would tell me that you are trans.
I think many of us struggle with confidence for long time, but I feel like the more you are out an about the more confident you will get. Any kind of transition always takes getting used to. whether it is moving to one city to another, leaving high school to go to college, or a mtf transition. It takes time to adjust in any of these cases. Some of the things you have to adjust to is the fact that people treat you differently. our society tends to put a lot more pressure on womens appearance then mens, so people tend to put a lot more of their focus on your appearance now that you are a women then they did when you were living as a boy.
just because you were getting stared at doesn't mean that its because they knew you were trans. it is likely that they might have just thought you were pretty. women always complain about getting stared at. Im guessing most the time people are staring at them it has nothing to do with them being perceived as trans.
as far as the voice goes just practice, practice, practice. Its really hard getting that right though.
Thank you :) Yeah, I honestly feel like if I sounded completely like a girl then I wouldn't be able to be clocked. I think that's the case with many tgirls. I've noticed that even if a girl has manly features, we usually brush it off because their voice is a girls.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 22, 2014, 07:23:53 PM
post a clip in the voice thread. we'll be able to hear how you sound.
I use the Soundcloud mobile app and record off my mobile using the default voice recording app.
Okay I made a soundcloud. Anything you want me to read from for the recording? lol
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 06:49:57 PM
I'm sorry to hear that :/ Are you sure you're not passable? Or is it just the dysphoria? I can't imagine someone who started hormones when they were 24 not being passable
Passable yes but perfectly passable no. I was pre-op a lot of that time and I regret not getting post op sooner. I went off HRT for a short time and the testosterone came back but it didn't completely undo what the injections that I had been on had done. When the T came back it was awful. Body hair and body odor were horrific. The injections were by far the most effective way of taking estradiol from my experience btw. One thing that all the years of estrogen in the world doesn't seem to change is a deep voice from puberty. The bone structural change also will not change back and demasculinize in face or body. I saw a lot of bone structure change in my face just in the year and a half before I started HRT at 24. Let me tell you the difference between 20 and 24 in me was phenomenal. At 20 I still looked like my old self but at 24 my face had changed shape and had a cleary mannish look that I did not have at 20. I was very pretty before the last part of puberty still and I could not stand to look in the mirror, literally, after the last bit of change. I was in really bad shape over it and had some emotional breakdowns over it. Those feature changes would never go away with HRT in all the years. It won't change bone structure.
I'm 5'11" and people tell me all the time that I'm very pretty even though that's hard to believe while living in the land of the 5'2"-5'5" tall girls. I stand out like a sore thumb and get stared at all of the time for my height but I don't have issues. I've learned that people see me just as a really tall woman who is pretty, or at least that's the jist I've gotten from people when I've outed myself. My best feature though is my voice and that seals the deal or at least that's what I think as I have busted my rear end over the last year to get my voice in good shape where everyone says it's amazing.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 03:11:58 PM
I feel like, visually, I'm a passable person but what gives me away is my height & my voice. I fall into the tall category for a girl & I've noticed that when I speak, people stare at me. Until I speak, they only take a look, & not so much stare. (I really wonder what goes through their minds when they hear me talk).
So once again, back on topic, how do you guys stay so content & sure of your passibility?
I went to a voice trainer and fixed my voice. THAT gave me untold amounts of confidence in myself. When people see girl and hear boy it really scrambles something in their brain and I can see why. Even if people clock me as being TG, my voice matches my appearance and it doesn't freak people out.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 07:31:18 PM
I've noticed that even if a girl has manly features, we usually brush it off because their voice is a girls.
BINGO! I'm always shocked how much time/money/effort people put into everything else when the voice is IMHO the very first thing you should address when starting to transition. A good voice or even decently female sounding voice will "unclock" you if other parts of you aren't 100% passable.
I have a voice therapist I'm going to but if I can't get good results I'm going to Yeson or Haben. She said my voice isn't all that low and I could get good results. I want to wake up in the morning and sound female from the get go without even thinking about it.
Voice is my major insecurity. To heck with FFS, I probably won't need it and I dread having it anyway.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 22, 2014, 08:08:22 PM
taken from IDEAS. copyright belongs to them
When the sunlight strikes raindrops in the air, they act as a prism and form a rainbow. The rainbow is a division of white light into many beautiful colors. These take the shape of a long round arch, with its path high above, and its two ends apparently beyond the horizon. There is , according to legend, a boiling pot of gold at one end. People look, but no one ever finds it. When a man looks for something beyond his reach, his friends say he is looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
https://soundcloud.com/bunny443/pot-of-gold
Quote from: Hanazono on November 22, 2014, 08:16:11 PM
I'll take a listen when I'm out of the church service
omg lol
Quote from: AngieFerg on November 22, 2014, 08:39:33 PM
Jasmine I'm going to delete this off topic message in just a second. It wont let me reply to your message. It says I'm not allowed. I'm new to the forum, as in a couple of hours ago. I dont know whats wrong and why it wont let me message you.
Ohhh that might be because you're so new. Hmmm... Do you have a kik?
Quote from: AngieFerg on November 22, 2014, 08:41:42 PM
Whats a Kik?
Just go post stuff in other forums & after a while I think you'll be allowed to send messages.
Okie dokie. lol
Quote from: Hanazono on November 22, 2014, 08:51:34 PM
no mention of pot of gold though .passage wasn't read.
the voice sounds feminine although quite nasal.
How do I get rid of the nasal-ness? I've noticed that a nasally voice is a trait many gay men posses & I've had it forever & have always wondered how to get rid of it?
Voice sounds totally feminine to me. Is it trained or is that your natural voice?
Quote from: ImagineKate on November 22, 2014, 09:16:13 PM
Voice sounds totally feminine to me. Is it trained or is that your natural voice?
Hmmmm... Kind of? When I was still pre-pubescent I liked that people would always tell me I sounded like a girl & when I began hitting puberty, if I heard my voice crack I would sing in falsetto the whole day to try to counteract it. It didn't do much though I think. Also, that was me talking in my "female" voice. The voice I use on a daily basis is different & I only talk in that voice when I answer a phone or meet guys at a party. I'm just too insecure about it to use it in my daily life.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 08:59:33 PM
How do I get rid of the nasal-ness? I've noticed that a nasally voice is a trait many gay men posses & I've had it forever & have always wondered how to get rid of it?
Nasally voice is actually an easy fix.. :) I used to be in radio and had quite a few people that started with a nasally voice.. A couple weeks of practice and they were fine.
I'll get some links to you tomorrow if I can. :)
Mostly it just came from ... living, I guess. Enough years (and it was a few *years*) of never getting clocked, and I started to settle down into having a boring average life.
Voice is a huge deal, it's true. I found that if I managed a very feminine voice and had long hair people would overlook a lot of other masculine cues. I don't have a trick for how I got the voice right, though; I practiced for literally hundreds of hours, recording my voice over and over and trying to repeat what worked, plus I imitated women I liked. I'm a pretty good mimic, so that helped.
I was 5'8" too (I'm 5'7" now), but women around here have an average height of more like 5'5", so it doesn't stand out. Still, even 5-6" taller than average isn't going to out you by itself, and confidence [even faked] counts for a lot.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 08:15:04 PM
https://soundcloud.com/bunny443/pot-of-gold
You sound great :).
Actually you sound a lot like a woman I work with.
I wouldn't have any anxiety with a voice like yours.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on November 22, 2014, 11:36:44 PM
Mostly it just came from ... living, I guess. Enough years (and it was a few *years*) of never getting clocked, and I started to settle down into having a boring average life.
Voice is a huge deal, it's true. I found that if I managed a very feminine voice and had long hair people would overlook a lot of other masculine cues. I don't have a trick for how I got the voice right, though; I practiced for literally hundreds of hours, recording my voice over and over and trying to repeat what worked, plus I imitated women I liked. I'm a pretty good mimic, so that helped.
I was 5'8" too (I'm 5'7" now), but women around here have an average height of more like 5'5", so it doesn't stand out. Still, even 5-6" taller than average isn't going to out you by itself, and confidence [even faked] counts for a lot.
I'm waiting for that day to happen lol Also, is it true hormones can make you shrink? I've always wanted to shrink & I *actually* think I have. When I very first started hormones I was 5'8" 1/2". Now, ever since I started, I get recorded being slightly shorter & last time I went I was 5'8" flat. If I drop under the 5'8" scale next time I go I'll flip because all my prayers were heard lol
Quote from: Hanazono on November 22, 2014, 11:33:02 PM
my bad. I initially got a voice clip of someone (you? ) talking about how messy their room is...?
Mhhhmmmmm
Quote from: SammyRose on November 22, 2014, 11:57:39 PM
You sound great :).
Actually you sound a lot like a woman I work with.
I wouldn't have any anxiety with a voice like yours.
Thank you :) I'll start using the voice more because I need to start working on my voice anyways :/
Quote from: SammyRose on November 22, 2014, 07:08:00 PM
Now days, I've no idea how other people perceive me. I just go about my way and don't really take notice. There are no issues when chatting to anyone or doing anything. I occasionally notice guys checking me out, but otherwise I'm basically ignored ( which is just perfect ). I believe this is just blending in, which has always been my goal. But I've also little to be anxious about ( I think ).
So if you get anxiety over your voice which you know isn't where it needs to be, then invest and fix it ( I'm suggesting therapy, not surgery ). You're going to need your voice for the rest of your life, so invest... :).
If you get anxiety over things like height ( which you're not tall compared ), then you're going to have to learn to deal with it. Anxiety over something you cannot change doesn't have much purpose. Remind yourself of that every time, and soon it will just be, and it won't bother you as it does now.
This has been my experience too. I am what I am and i'm going to live the rest of my life this way so I just go and be myself and don't worry about it. I also agree with your comments regarding voice. I wish I were further along with mine; some days I can easily hit my high feminine voice and on those days experience tells me I pass much better; other days i'm suffering from drainage or my voice is more hoarse and it just won't go into that higher range so I try not to speak very much. The worst is when you are using the ladies room, your voice is off, and someone starts a conversation with you. The harsh acoustics in the ladies room amplifies things so if my voice is off I can really hear it and i'm wincing the whole time.
People do give girls with mixed appearance traits a pass if their voice sounds correct; i think it is probably the most important thing you can work on.
I'm 5'8" and I seem to tower over a lot of women. I can't do anything about that either so it's another thing I don't worry about.
All the pain, problems, issues, harassments and other experiences taught me one valuable lesson: The outside world can never make you happy and feel at peace with yourself. True happiness and peace comes from within. The secret is buried in the most obvious place where few will dig to find the hidden treasures: the inner sanctum of who you are inside. Sounds cliché, but it is the biggest and most hard earned discovery and lesson I have made.
Jasmine : I don't know if it's true for everyone, but I'm an inch shorter since I started HRT, yeah. :)
My impression is that it's not so much that I actually shrank as that I carry myself differently now (if I straighten up as hard as I can, I get half of that inch back) because butt and boobs makes it more comfortable to curve my spine/angle my hips more than I did before. But as I see it, if I can't make myself taller than this without a lot of effort and can't maintain it more than a few seconds, this IS effectively my real height as far as other people are concerned!
My feet actually did lose about a size, too.
Quote from: JoDavanee on November 22, 2014, 11:28:00 PM
Nasally voice is actually an easy fix.. :) I used to be in radio and had quite a few people that started with a nasally voice.. A couple weeks of practice and they were fine.
I'll get some links to you tomorrow if I can. :)
Yay! :) That's be so much help! Thank you n__n
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 06:45:49 PM
How did you achieve it? :o
tons and tons of practice! :) To stop that nasally voice from happening all you have to do is relax your voice box as much as you can and speak from the top of your throat so it feels like you're pushing air from the top, not from the back of the throat... idk if that makes sense :-\
I thought that the nasally voice sounds just like a lot of California girls. From that standpoint I don't see anything wrong with it; you sound more femme than I do.
Quote from: Eva Marie on November 24, 2014, 06:56:42 PM
I thought that the nasally voice sounds just like a lot of California girls. From that standpoint I don't see anything wrong with it; you sound more femme than I do.
I actually am from California haha & thanks :)
Quote from: Lady_Oracle on November 24, 2014, 06:39:33 PM
tons and tons of practice! :) To stop that nasally voice from happening all you have to do is relax your voice box as much as you can and speak from the top of your throat so it feels like you're pushing air from the top, not from the back of the throat... idk if that makes sense :-\
Hmmm so almost like making a little bit more of a breathey sound when I speak?
Same for me, whenever I talk then people stare up until then Im just a kinda tall girl, then some people will call me "he"
Had people one day say "she" then the next "he"... get called sir and he on the phone 10+ times a day...
Kinda got frustrated with it at first, I know my natural voice is tuff and masculine, but I dont think I should ever hide it, its not something I feel I need to change to feel more Like the Gender I know I am... I cant really hear my voice as being masculine only other people think that, to me Im just me...
So Ive chosen to just talk as normal when I open my mouth.
Sometimes I'll get uber deep when I really need too and I find that my serious MAN voice can get things accomplished on the phone when I need to with certain types of people lol...
Its actually really interesting to be looked at as If Im the strange one in whatever situation sometimes, It reminds me how people can make decisions so instantly. Spontaneous change in a human mind is a amazing thing to see 10+ times a day..
But beside all the scientific evidence I hope to gleam from my existence and the impact I make on others, I am just happy to be right now and dont care what I sound like or how tall I am but if these things are so important to you they can be modified but only in very very serious cases and Voice surgery should only be considered definitely as a last resort..
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 24, 2014, 09:28:49 PM
Hmmm so almost like making a little bit more of a breathey sound when I speak?
For me, it's the opposite of this. To get rid of the nasal sound I have to consciously push my voice and project a bit more. So it's the opposite of breathey.
I have my brother give me his honest opinion on both looks and voice and he gives me advice and tells the truth. So, I learned to speak and sing more like a natural girl by singing all the time and chat normal in record mode on my phone and adjust as I need to. Once I find what I like I try to hold it there and keep using that tone so my mind remembers it and it comes out naturally when I go to speak. Nobody has said anything or was curious as I walk and dress correctly. Proper makeup, and dress right. It takes a lot of practice but with HRT it has increased my confidence 80% as I still have my nerves but yet I fight through it and just try to be me. I only use woman's restroom, as I'm to scared to ever go back into men's bathroom ever again. I'm 5'8" by the way and I've met lots of girls shorter then me and a lot who were the same size as me. I usually make the short girls I'm near laugh to make me feel more comfortable. "You girls are so short, I feel like a giant". They laugh and usually reply with a smile "nah, you're fine girl". So, confidence in who you are goes a long way because the way I've played things out in public and in my head is denial of my past and say I was born this way I'm just a tall girl. When you have that attitude and go around like you've been a girl forever then people start to assume your a normal average girl. Just like today I walked into woman's restroom without hesitation and said jokingly "wow this bathroom is crowded", and waited my turn. Ya sure I was taller then every girl waiting in there and got looks, but the looks stopped once this woman came out of the stall I was waiting for and was the same height as me. Lol. It's all about confidence, practice, and attitude.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 03:11:58 PM
So once again, back on topic, how do you guys stay so content & sure of your passibility? I feel like anxiety from being TS has been etched into my soul.
I used to have tons of anxiety and I'm tiny (5'5.5 and 120 lbs), but I always thought I never passed. Apparently my voice sounds fine, and I was actually wondering this, but people never change their body language when I speak. I don't even pass as a man. And that might sound great, and it is, but you lose validation and you're always left to wonder what people think. But now I just accept people see me as female no mater what but it took time. I'm still insecure. I think it's a process. I've been transitioning for nearly 21 months, so it's been awhile. Give it time and everything will fall into place. Just try to talk in a feminine voice and don't stop. That's what i did. I prolly sounded weird at first but now...completely femme and never get sir'd ever.
I have tons of anxiety about passing or not. I don't think I do but at the same time not many people bug me about it. When people approach from behind I get quite a few double takes just wearing (women's) jeans and tshirts when I use the restroom. However, not so sure about the front. I only got ma'amed for the first time on a front approach last Friday. It was the dude handing me my food at a cafeteria line style restaurant.
When I wear a dress (I haven't in public since before I started hormones. I'm kinda crazy and once my own breasts started growing I really didn't want to pad anymore so I'm waiting until this coming spring to see how it is.) people could be staring because they notice my face or because they think I have a nice figure. It's really confusing for me and makes it hard to tell whether I should be nervous or proud.
Aaah, voice.... Got from a close Fully MTF TG friend the name of a voice trainer... certainly hot on my list of firsts, then facial Hair etc.
But like others have mentioned if voice training does not work by the time I go fulltime (and come out fully) Yeson is hot on my radar.
Everything that has been said through this thread is of value... thanks all
Jasmine, great topic, thanks :-*
L Katy
The more you are afraid to be spotted, the less you will pass. Even if you just think about it your whole expression/posture changes. Confidence makes you pass.
I know it is not always as easy as that but try to get to a point where you don't worry so much anymore if you pass as a woman, but if you pass being you. Sure, you want to be seen as a woman but 90% of the people you pass in your daily life are not people you ever get to know, and matters how they look at you. So don't worry so much about them, live your life and well, it is understandable to get anxious when you talk to someone and your voice isn't good enough yet.
For many you will notice that if you worry less, you will pass more.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 08:15:04 PM
https://soundcloud.com/bunny443/pot-of-gold
I'd gender that voice female.
I'm 5 foot 9 inches now and was 5 foot 10 inches when I started HRT. I was worried about my height as my spouse, daughter, sister, mother, and grandmother were all shorter than me. Then one of my best friends (natal female) pointed out to me that several of my female friends were taller than me, including her, and that one of my natal female friends was over 6 feet. After she said that I began noticing how many tall women I saw downtown at lunch time at various lunch stops. And then I stopped worrying about my height.
In my experience talking to people, the things that will "out" you the fastest are voice, beard shadow, nervousness when presenting female, and failing to take care of your face. Get those eye brows done! Use a good foundation to cover shadow until you're done with electrolysis and/or laser. Work on that voice or get to Yeson and be done with it. And most of all, start being comfortable with yourself.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 23, 2014, 12:20:17 AM
I'm waiting for that day to happen lol Also, is it true hormones can make you shrink? I've always wanted to shrink & I *actually* think I have. When I very first started hormones I was 5'8" 1/2". Now, ever since I started, I get recorded being slightly shorter & last time I went I was 5'8" flat. If I drop under the 5'8" scale next time I go I'll flip because all my prayers were heard lol
Sorry hun, hrt doesn't make you shrink. I have dropped a shoes size tho since beginning hrt from a woman's size 9 down to a woman's size 8. But I think part of that is getting more of my arch back from having broken my feet a few times. 5 ft. 8 in. is only just above average height for a woman these days. I'm 5-5 but in heels or my wedges I'm 5-9, lol! There are lot's of tall women out there. :) So have fun, live your life and just be you dismissing worries about height cuz for this day and age your not that tall. :)
Ally ;)
I've been told I "appear" confident though. I try my best to not slouch, walk from point A to point B without glancing around like a nervous wreck, etc., etc.
I never really saw the effect of confidence as I'm pretty insecure yet I pass no matter what: crappy clothes, no makeup, dirty, blah, blah, blah. But I have been on a regular dose of HRT for 14 months and an extremely low, very inconsistent dose for six months before that. However, I also have a rare condition and am a true hermaphrodite. That term doesn't bother me since in the mid-1980s when I was born that's what I thought of myself and it's very hard to stop thinking it. I believe this super charges my feminization, so there's that. I went to get my meds yesterday at a place where many trans women get their's and the pharmacist told me to enter the guy's number whose medication I was picking up for him.
So I don't know. But I'm sure confidence and proper presentation more than anything goes a long way. There's a reason some other girls I know when someone makeup is over done call it "->-bleeped-<- makeup." I can't stress the importance of practice on makeup, mannerisms and immersing yourself in your womanhood will have on passing. If you're dressed right and have your maekup done flawlessly yet subdued, most will pass.
Quote from: Allyda on November 26, 2014, 11:54:10 AM
Sorry hun, hrt doesn't make you shrink. I have dropped a shoes size tho since beginning hrt from a woman's size 9 down to a woman's size 8. But I think part of that is getting more of my arch back from having broken my feet a few times. 5 ft. 8 in. is only just above average height for a woman these days. I'm 5-5 but in heels or my wedges I'm 5-9, lol! There are lot's of tall women out there. :) So have fun, live your life and just be you dismissing worries about height cuz for this day and age your not that tall. :)
Ally ;)
Somewhere between Women's 8 and 9 depending on style and make... I am also only 5'4" Bare feet and standing bolt upright... so I really hope the only shrinkage I get is shoulder width... :o
Will also take on the more positive and confident stance / approach... thanks all :-*
L Katy
I pass probably about 90% of the time so I'm really quite lucky. I'm 5'7" so just a bit taller than the average woman, really hoping there's justice in this world and I stay somewhere in a normal range once I'm post-pubescent. My voice is not super low yet (I'm fifteen) and mostly just kinda cracks a lot. When it does is mostly when I get second glances. I'm pretty content with myself right now.
Quote from: ᴏɴᴇ ʟɪғᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ ☆ on November 26, 2014, 07:27:48 PM
I pass probably about 90% of the time so I'm really quite lucky. I'm 5'7" so just a bit taller than the average woman, really hoping there's justice in this world and I stay somewhere in a normal range once I'm post-pubescent. My voice is not super low yet (I'm fifteen) and mostly just kinda cracks a lot. When it does is mostly when I get second glances. I'm pretty content with myself right now.
I was like 5'7" when I was 15 too lol It's amazing how much you can grow in a year :( Maybe you'll get lucky though!
Oh my goodness if I was able to turn the clock back to where you are now, knowing what is possible... I'd have fought with all I have to get testosterone blockers.
One more thing about that confidence bit. I have met nervous wrecks of natal girls and they have no problems being identified as women. I've met girls who act very "mannish," yet they have no trouble being identified as women.
Quote from: Skeptoid on November 26, 2014, 09:06:02 PM
One more thing about that confidence bit. I have met nervous wrecks of natal girls and they have no problems being identified as women. I've met girls who act very "mannish," yet they have no trouble being identified as women.
Exactly. As much as peeps talk about confidence, and it is a big part for some peeps, if you look cis, are tiny, busty and have curves and no visible "tells," you will pass and be she'd and miss'd no matter what. But, you can have none of those things and still pass 100 percent without confidence, as long as your presentation is right. The number one thing I taught myself through practice is makeup. I'm actually quite proud of myself, and I know some loathe makeup in these parts, and that's fine for them, but I do hear a lot of anti-makeup talk, or used to here, and I never thought it was fair that I would get called a stereotype simply because I lovelovelove makeup. It's just who I am and when I look good and really did a great job with my makeup, I feel uber-confident. And it shows cause I felt that way yesterday and this really hot guy let me go first and was smiling at me (in that I'd klove to get in her panties type of way) but though this is harsh or eeky, I can't help but become weak in the knees when a cute guy smiles at me (if he isn't so hot, I might get creeped, depending on the level of smile and if it's a I want her legs wrapped around me look). I get called babe or baby or little mama and a thousand other pet names daily when I'm out and I've learned to love it. Or deal. Most will get here if you stay on HRT long enough. I would love to know firm stats on detransition, as I'm almost certain many stop for family or spousal reasons, which I get, but I feel like I'm living a dream with my hottie, bearded BF, so it can happen to you too. I'm no model.
Gawd, I talk too much, but really I can't stress learning how to do makeup, if you're into it even a little, because it really does boost your confidence. Ninety percent of women won't leave the house on a first date or a job interview without makeup.
I have nothing against makeup. I just want it to enhance preexisting passability, na'mean? If I roll out of bed I want peope to see a bedraggled lady not an incredibly, stunningly, almost mind blowingly, attractive dude.
Quote from: Joanna Dark on November 26, 2014, 10:43:12 PM
Exactly. As much as peeps talk about confidence, and it is a big part for some peeps, if you look cis, are tiny, busty and have curves and no visible "tells," you will pass and be she'd and miss'd no matter what. But, you can have none of those things and still pass 100 percent without confidence, as long as your presentation is right. The number one thing I taught myself through practice is makeup. I'm actually quite proud of myself, and I know some loathe makeup in these parts, and that's fine for them, but I do hear a lot of anti-makeup talk, or used to here, and I never thought it was fair that I would get called a stereotype simply because I lovelovelove makeup. It's just who I am and when I look good and really did a great job with my makeup, I feel uber-confident. And it shows cause I felt that way yesterday and this really hot guy let me go first and was smiling at me (in that I'd klove to get in her panties type of way) but though this is harsh or eeky, I can't help but become weak in the knees when a cute guy smiles at me (if he isn't so hot, I might get creeped, depending on the level of smile and if it's a I want her legs wrapped around me look). I get called babe or baby or little mama and a thousand other pet names daily when I'm out and I've learned to love it. Or deal. Most will get here if you stay on HRT long enough. I would love to know firm stats on detransition, as I'm almost certain many stop for family or spousal reasons, which I get, but I feel like I'm living a dream with my hottie, bearded BF, so it can happen to you too. I'm no model.
Gawd, I talk too much, but really I can't stress learning how to do makeup, if you're into it even a little, because it really does boost your confidence. Ninety percent of women won't leave the house on a first date or a job interview without makeup.
I agree with this so much. If it weren't for makeup, I can't say I'd be even slightly passable. I love makeup & I've always been very infatuated with it & the beauty & illusions it can bring. I wear quite a bit of makeup, but I wear sheer foundation so it's not cake at all. The only place my face looks semi-caked is my under eyes & that's only because I have bad dark circles & MAC Studio Fix Concealer is the only think thick enough to cover them, plus it doesn't crease so it's lovely. Eyeshadow is almost an every day thing for me, but it's usually natural & only ever semi-dramatic if I'm going out to a party.
Everything what Joanna said I also agree with completely. It annoys me when people shame those of us that enjoy wearing makeup for ourselves like seriously.. ::)
I love make up too but its not something I use anymore to pass since laser finally cleared my shadow. I can finally wear it freely without having to worry about the passing issue, which is a huge sense of relief for me. I hated putting on globs of foundation just to cover my beard shadow, granted it always looked really good on me and evened out my skin tone but still it was way too much of it. Now I use like a fraction of the foundation I used to use which feels great on my skin in comparison to before.
I love eyeliner and been meaning to experiment with different styles. Like the current style I use is just lining the inner lids and a thin line at the top, nothing fancy. I really want to try the cat eye but I have yet to experiment with that style. I need to get a new liner too sometime soon like a pencil and gel. However what I really want to get into is contouring cause I have some pretty awesome cheekbones that would look really amazing if I just knew how to do that. It would be really fun to get a professional makeover done too.
Hey Jasmine the dark circles under my eyes get really bad too. I've been meaning to try some diy masks and rest cut cucumbers on my eyes to help reduce it. I have allergies so my circles can get bad sometimes and my lack of sleep doesn't help at all :( I forgot what I use for foundation but its liquid and its called hd something..it blends in perfectly with my skin and doesn't look like I'm wearing anything.
Quote from: Allyda on November 26, 2014, 11:54:10 AM
Sorry hun, hrt doesn't make you shrink. I have dropped a shoes size tho since beginning hrt from a woman's size 9 down to a woman's size 8. But I think part of that is getting more of my arch back from having broken my feet a few times. 5 ft. 8 in. is only just above average height for a woman these days. I'm 5-5 but in heels or my wedges I'm 5-9, lol! There are lot's of tall women out there. :) So have fun, live your life and just be you dismissing worries about height cuz for this day and age your not that tall. :)
Ally ;)
Ally-
I lost about half an inch of height since I started HRT and my feet and hands and other parts have shrunk too. I weigh the same as before I started HRT so the weight has moved - to my belly, butt, and boobs.
I am currently on a trip to see my daughter in a state that is definitely Bible Belt country and I am curious how people are going too perceive me here vs. in California where seeing someone like me is not unusual. So far there has been more staring from guys and a teenage boy that was stifling giggles at a burger joint last night for some reason that may or may not have involved me. I am very outwardly confident and I know who I am so I just don't worry about my height (5'8") or my voice (better earlier in the day, not as good as the day rolls by and I get tired). Confidence is the key, and accepting that some people are gonna clock me no matter what I do helps.
I transitioned for me and not for other people so they can stuff it if they don't like it.
Quote from: katrinaw on November 26, 2014, 06:04:30 PM
Somewhere between Women's 8 and 9 depending on style and make... I am also only 5'4" Bare feet and standing bolt upright... so I really hope the only shrinkage I get is shoulder width... :o
Will also take on the more positive and confident stance / approach... thanks all :-*
L Katy
Shoulders, I barely have any, lol, mine are only 12 and 3/4 inches wide. Katrina you look great in your Avatar photo by the way. And at 5 ft 4 in your average height for a female.
Yea, I know what you mean about shoe sizes fluctuating between brand names. Just last week my friend and I were in Bells looking at wedges. I tried on a size 7 that fit, and even a 9 that fit. Go figure, lol! :D
Ally ;)
Quote from: Hanazono on November 27, 2014, 04:56:56 AM
.I'm going to temporarily derail this topic with some makeup tips .
1. Compact powder makeup can be applied very sheer when brushed on with a large powder brush. it can also be used to set cream foundation by using a matching tone.
2. you can contour by using your fingers to apply instead of brush.
smile.
tap then blend highlight powder or even just one or Teo shades lighter of foundation, on the part of your cheeks that protrude highest the most
3. Never ever use cat eyeliner! :>
Quote from: LizMarie on November 26, 2014, 10:56:55 AM
I'm 5 foot 9 inches now and was 5 foot 10 inches when I started HRT. I was worried about my height as my spouse, daughter, sister, mother, and grandmother were all shorter than me. Then one of my best friends (natal female) pointed out to me that several of my female friends were taller than me, including her, and that one of my natal female friends was over 6 feet. After she said that I began noticing how many tall women I saw downtown at lunch time at various lunch stops. And then I stopped worrying about my height.
In my experience talking to people, the things that will "out" you the fastest are voice, beard shadow, nervousness when presenting female, and failing to take care of your face. Get those eye brows done! Use a good foundation to cover shadow until you're done with electrolysis and/or laser. Work on that voice or get to Yeson and be done with it. And most of all, start being comfortable with yourself.
My thoughts exactly.
My priorities are voice and electrolysis.
FFS is extremely low down on my list.
Simply plucking my eyebrows into a more feminine shape has done wonders. I get gendered female sometimes and other times I get that people are afraid to gender me or unsure. That is until I open my mouth.
Voice training and possibly surgery are in my future.
I want to start plucking my brows but I tried just one hair, and the pain was so bad it made me tear up..Just ONE hair! :o
Quote from: Jessika on November 28, 2014, 12:42:58 PM
I want to start plucking my brows but I tried just one hair, and the pain was so bad it made me tear up..Just ONE hair! :o
Push through the pain :P
Quote from: Jessika on November 28, 2014, 12:42:58 PM
I want to start plucking my brows but I tried just one hair, and the pain was so bad it made me tear up..Just ONE hair! :o
LOL That was me when I was 12 hahaha You get through it & it hurts less & less each time. Now, after 5-6 years of always plucking, it's nothing. It's really just a normal part of being a girl.
Quote from: Jessika on November 28, 2014, 12:42:58 PM
I want to start plucking my brows but I tried just one hair, and the pain was so bad it made me tear up..Just ONE hair! :o
Take a nice long hot shower or bath first. This helps loosen the hairs and open the pores and reduces the pain as a result.
A small scissors and comb is necessary to cut long hairs as well. I have NEVER done anything to my brows until recently and it hurt initially but after a while I got used to it.
A mirror with 5x magnification is a must too.
Quote from: TSJasmine on November 28, 2014, 02:34:56 PM
LOL That was me when I was 12 hahaha You get through it & it hurts less & less each time. Now, after 5-6 years of always plucking, it's nothing. It's really just a normal part of being a girl.
Yeah, lol. However I have stupid small hairs all the way down to my eyelid and it's just tedious more than anything.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 28, 2014, 06:36:48 PM
I use the electric trimmer of my Schick Quarto. close cut and great
I don't like shaving because it grows back and stubble is ugly, IMO. But if you can keep up with it I guess that works.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 27, 2014, 04:56:56 AM
.I'm going to temporarily derail this topic with some makeup tips .
1. Compact powder makeup can be applied very sheer when brushed on with a large powder brush. it can also be used to set cream foundation by using a matching tone.
2. you can contour by using your fingers to apply instead of brush.
smile.
tap then blend highlight powder or even just one or Teo shades lighter of foundation, on the part of your cheeks that protrude highest the most
I've just begun exploring makeup because it is a huge unknown to me but has always intrigued me. I have never really made up my face and my avatar is without makeup.
Anyway I was watching a few tutorials on youtube and I came across one that I really liked. This one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfYtURueTDA
She said a lot of what you said, which is she likes to use her fingers to smooth out the makeup. I really like her result but I wish I could find one like her for darker skin like mine.
Look I've been called a ginger and whatever and have a quite a low pain tolerance but goodness gracious me oh my if you think plucking eyebrows is bad... electrolysis is so much worse.
Quote from: Allyda on November 27, 2014, 08:27:58 AM
Shoulders, I barely have any, lol, mine are only 12 and 3/4 inches wide. Katrina you look great in your Avatar photo by the way. And at 5 ft 4 in your average height for a female.
Yea, I know what you mean about shoe sizes fluctuating between brand names. Just last week my friend and I were in Bells looking at wedges. I tried on a size 7 that fit, and even a 9 that fit. Go figure, lol! :D
Ally ;)
Thanks Allyda, always love compliments :-*
Dress sizes also cause me concern waist v's top end (back ;)) too...
Voice is still my biggest issue, I can hide most things, but not my voice... somewhere between normal, squeaky and croaky :'( Hopefully start on that after Xmas 8)
L Katy