Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Makenzie on November 22, 2014, 10:12:38 PM

Title: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Makenzie on November 22, 2014, 10:12:38 PM
I am,because I am scared of the extreme pain.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: TSJasmine on November 22, 2014, 10:45:38 PM
Not really. I'm not scared of any surgery honestly. Even when I was younger & got my adenoids & tonsils removed, I wasn't scared. My mindset is that they put me to sleep & I wake up in pain. The pain will go away so it's not that bad :p Kind of like getting sick
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Alysinspace on November 22, 2014, 10:49:15 PM
Not scared whatsoever I'll be asleep and they will drug me up good for the pain
honestly looking forward to it!
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Jenna Marie on November 22, 2014, 11:38:15 PM
I HATE the thought of being cut open, and I'm terrified of anesthesia. But I did go through with GRS anyway.

(The pain wasn't actually that bad; never worse than about a 4 on the 1-10 scale. I've had more fun in my life, but I promise, it wasn't worth having it as a bugaboo, for me or anyone else there with me. :) Some girls never took any painkillers after they woke up!)
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: sam79 on November 22, 2014, 11:51:26 PM
Scared? No. I've been looking forward to SRS since I was just a child :).  So I may not have known about all the ins and outs back then, but none of that bothers me.

Cannot wait to get my date back.

xx
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Ms Grace on November 23, 2014, 12:06:23 AM
I'm never keen about being made unconscious and people I don't know cutting me open.  :-\

I think I'll be apprehensive rather than scared. But OMG I still can't believe this time next year it will hopefully be well and truly over and done with!!
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Rose City Rose on November 23, 2014, 12:27:44 AM
*Complications: painful, nasty, and potentially unpleasant complications are way too common for my liking.  I've come to the conclusion that the surgery compromises the integrity of the body so badly that the risk of complications is excessively high.  Furthermore, once a vital part of the body is weakened by incisions or tearing it can fail months or even years later even if it heals up initially.

*Possible loss of orgasm: related to the above.

*Regret: in my case, related to the above.  If I could just take a pill and wake up with a vagina I wouldn't hesitate but I know I'll have regrets if I spend the rest of my life with recurring fistulas, chronic infections, or unable to enjoy intimacy as far too many post-op MtFs do.

*lack of long-term data: the available studies on the long-term outcomes of these surgeries are rife with problems and don't really come to any clear conclusions.  How often do complications arise?  Will a neovagina eventually prolapse 30 years later and cause me an agonizing death?  Will I only get 10 good years as a woman before I start losing depth?  I just don't know and neither do the doctors who perform these surgeries.

For my part, I decided not to get a vaginoplasty until it's a life-or-death matter for me.  It's too risky.  I'll make do with an orchi for now because even though I hate having male parts, I can kind of deal with it.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: DanielleA on November 23, 2014, 01:27:09 AM
I get a little worried about reassignment. I worry about if the end result doen't look right or if my new body part doesn't funtion how it is supposed to. I am not quite ready to have SRS yet, but I do think about it. Besides,  the surgeon can just fix the issues later.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Cindy on November 23, 2014, 01:49:04 AM
My surgeon was quite clear.
If you are not nervous about having the procedure then you haven't thought it through. He also said If you have any doubts, don't have it; it will not make you any less or anymore of a woman.

As for pain levels he also said that as it is soft tissue surgery the pain level is quite low. As other girls have said, he also counselled that the use of post op pain killers is either not required or is minimal.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Ms Grace on November 23, 2014, 01:54:38 AM
Quote from: Cindy on November 23, 2014, 01:49:04 AM
As for pain levels he also said that as it is soft tissue surgery the pain level is quite low. As other girls have said, he also counselled that the use of post op pain killers is either not required or is minimal.

Darn, there goes my prescription for medical marihuana! ;)
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Cindy on November 23, 2014, 02:00:51 AM
Quote from: Ms Grace on November 23, 2014, 01:54:38 AM
Quote from: Cindy on November 23, 2014, 01:49:04 AM
As for pain levels he also said that as it is soft tissue surgery the pain level is quite low. As other girls have said, he also counselled that the use of post op pain killers is either not required or is minimal.

Darn, there goes my prescription for medical marihuana! ;)

I'm going to have medical Moet.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Ms Grace on November 23, 2014, 02:03:34 AM
Can they hook it up to the IV drip?
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Clhoe G on November 23, 2014, 02:10:49 AM
Quote from: Rose City Rose on November 23, 2014, 12:27:44 AM
*Complications: painful, nasty, and potentially unpleasant complications are way too common for my liking.  I've come to the conclusion that the surgery compromises the integrity of the body so badly that the risk of complications is excessively high.  Furthermore, once a vital part of the body is weakened by incisions or tearing it can fail months or even years later even if it heals up initially.

*Possible loss of orgasm: related to the above.

*Regret: in my case, related to the above.  If I could just take a pill and wake up with a vagina I wouldn't hesitate but I know I'll have regrets if I spend the rest of my life with recurring fistulas, chronic infections, or unable to enjoy intimacy as far too many post-op MtFs do.

*lack of long-term data: the available studies on the long-term outcomes of these surgeries are rife with problems and don't really come to any clear conclusions.  How often do complications arise?  Will a neovagina eventually prolapse 30 years later and cause me an agonizing death?  Will I only get 10 good years as a woman before I start losing depth?  I just don't know and neither do the doctors who perform these surgeries.

For my part, I decided not to get a vaginoplasty until it's a life-or-death matter for me.  It's too risky.  I'll make do with an orchi for now because even though I hate having male parts, I can kind of deal with it.

I'm exactly the same and I'm worried about how it would look.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Jo-is-amazing on November 23, 2014, 02:20:11 AM
Quote from: Rose City Rose on November 23, 2014, 12:27:44 AM
*Complications: painful, nasty, and potentially unpleasant complications are way too common for my liking.  I've come to the conclusion that the surgery compromises the integrity of the body so badly that the risk of complications is excessively high.  Furthermore, once a vital part of the body is weakened by incisions or tearing it can fail months or even years later even if it heals up initially.

*Possible loss of orgasm: related to the above.

*Regret: in my case, related to the above.  If I could just take a pill and wake up with a vagina I wouldn't hesitate but I know I'll have regrets if I spend the rest of my life with recurring fistulas, chronic infections, or unable to enjoy intimacy as far too many post-op MtFs do.

*lack of long-term data: the available studies on the long-term outcomes of these surgeries are rife with problems and don't really come to any clear conclusions.  How often do complications arise?  Will a neovagina eventually prolapse 30 years later and cause me an agonizing death?  Will I only get 10 good years as a woman before I start losing depth?  I just don't know and neither do the doctors who perform these surgeries.

For my part, I decided not to get a vaginoplasty until it's a life-or-death matter for me.  It's too risky.  I'll make do with an orchi for now because even though I hate having male parts, I can kind of deal with it.

Im absolutely terrified of all those things tbh but as silly as it sounds even if most of those (the non lethal ones) were a sure thing id still want grs As it stands now I couldn't/wouldnt use what I have to be intimate so you can't lose something you've never had in the first place :)
As for physical pain that's bad of course, but I'd rather physical pain that I can deal with mentally, than mental anguish i can't deal with at all. So for me, even though I am terrified about the potential risks and bad outcomes, Im even more terrified at  the prospect of not getting it done :)
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: sam79 on November 23, 2014, 02:21:39 AM
Quote from: Rose City Rose on November 23, 2014, 12:27:44 AM
*Regret: in my case, related to the above.  If I could just take a pill and wake up with a vagina I wouldn't hesitate but I know I'll have regrets if I spend the rest of my life with recurring fistulas, chronic infections, or unable to enjoy intimacy as far too many post-op MtFs do.

I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I'm unable to enjoy intimacy at all now, due to dysphoria over the wrong parts.

SRS for me is an opportunity for me to rid that source of dyphoria, and an opportunity for me to actually enjoy intimacy for the remainder of my life. With that perspective, the risks are real, but worth it for what I can gain.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: TSJasmine on November 23, 2014, 02:46:27 AM
I've always been so sure of getting it. Like, whether or not I wanted it doesn't compute with me because my brain just says yes, no matter the circumstances. Plus, having a penis is such a nuisance. Why do they even exist??
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Tori on November 23, 2014, 03:07:15 AM
Biggest fear? That the surgeon is rocking out to Hedwig and the Angry Inch as I am put under.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Carrie Liz on November 23, 2014, 04:19:10 AM
Yeah... quite a bit.

I'm scared that I might be one of the few people who does have regrets, scared that for some reason adoption won't be enough for me and I'll regret that I removed my ability to have biological children 20 years from now, scared of complications, scared of the pain involved, scared of the recovery going on too long and interfering with my ability to work, scared of losing sensation and the ability to orgasm, scared that I won't be able to keep up with the dilation schedule and that it will be too much for me, scared that it won't be everything that I've always imagined and that it won't feel right in the end...

Did that just about cover everything? I'm a complete worrywart.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: amber roskamp on November 23, 2014, 06:38:24 AM
I am scared that I would regret it if I got it, so I am just going to get an orchi and not the vaginoplasty.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: amber roskamp on November 23, 2014, 06:41:27 AM
Quote from: Cindy on November 23, 2014, 01:49:04 AM
My surgeon was quite clear.
If you are not nervous about having the procedure then you haven't thought it through. He also said If you have any doubts, don't have it; it will not make you any less or anymore of a woman.


I relate to this I dontg think I need to get it done to feel like a women.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: ImagineKate on November 23, 2014, 06:48:32 AM
I'm married to my wife (for now) and she likes my penis. I was hoping I would keep it and we could still enjoy each other with it. But it looks like HRT will quickly kill my male sexual function anyway so what's the point. And I'm unsure my marriage will last too. :(

I'm afraid of:

Not dilating and having it lose depth/close up/prolapse. Let's say I get injured and I'm unable to dilate, for example.

Complications. I've heard of really scary stuff happening.

Pain. I've heard everything from no big deal to being hit by a truck.

Cost. It's 20k now, could go up and insurance is resisting covering it.

Why I want it:

I am a woman. I want to be anatomically complete as far as possible.

I want to wear yoga pants and bikinis.

I want unquestioned access to female only areas (eg bathrooms)

If my marriage ends I may want to find love again.

It may be required for document changes in my old country when they change those laws.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Apples Mk.II on November 23, 2014, 07:26:14 AM
I'm scared of the first post-op recovery days. I'm 9 days post-op from face and although my first day was terrible, I could walk. My biggest fears about SRS are:

- Being 4 days stuck in a bed unable to move. Being one night stuck and unable to drink was already hell, never finding a good posture, getting nausea every time I laid from the anaesthesia...
- The long recovery: I've been here for 14 days already, alone, and I am going nuts already. I know what my preparations errors where, but being 30-40 days here alone in a foreign country, while all of your friends are in a separate timezone...
-The post op recovery. I'm not kidding. I also know that the first time I see it is going to be horrible. After I woke up and they handed me the mirror I was like "What have I done, I've messed everything and now I'll have to live with this, I want to die.

I think that since SRS will be my third transition related surgery, I will be more savvy and make less errors, but still it will be bad. I'm not worried about pain or difficulty ewalking: I've had 5 days half blind, half mute, unable to eat or breath. It doesn't get worse than that.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Lostkitten on November 23, 2014, 08:02:00 AM
It scares me for sure. I don't like surgery. Of being 'put' to sleep. Waking up not knowing how it will feel, the recovery not knowing how it will know. The unknowing is scary.

But it isn't often on my mind. No point feeling constant fear about something which you have to go trough anyway.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: AnonyMs on November 23, 2014, 08:07:13 AM
I've had general anesthetic for tests a few times, and I've had smaller surgeries under general anesthetic, so I'm not too worried about that. They give great pain killers in hospital so that doesn't bother me. I think surgery is like flying perhaps, only scary the first time or two. Its a bit ridiculous, but the thing I really worry about now for that kind of thing is the canula the stick in you hand before they start - I've a bit of needle phobia. It probably what would stress me out just before SRS as well.

For SRS I don't think I'm scared of anything that has a realistic chance of happening. Recovery afterwards sounds like it's not much fun, and it can go on for a while. I get bored easily as well, so being stuck in bed is sure to drive me nuts. But above all, the bad parts will soon fade away into memory, while you get to keep the good bit.

I think I'm more concerned about being disappointed in the quality of the result. That might be hard to deal with, although I don't think there's much chance of it. I definitely wouldn't do any other surgery at the same time though, as I think that would be more than I'd want to suffer though.

FFS on the other hand, I'm intimidated by the thought of that all by itself. SRS looks easy in comparison.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Brenda E on November 23, 2014, 08:22:54 AM
I'm worried that I'll get all the way to the hospital on the day of SRS, then back out literally at the last minute and regret not having it done.  I have a history of getting 99% of the way to where I want to go, then getting frightened and backing out at the last minute, staying in the safety (and unhappiness) of what I know rather than taking a chance on change.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: suzifrommd on November 23, 2014, 08:39:21 AM
Quote from: Makenzie on November 22, 2014, 10:12:38 PM
I am,because I am scared of the extreme pain.

It was not especially painful.

My biggest fear is that I'd realize I'd made a horrible mistake, but it would, of course, be way too late to go back.

For the record, that didn't happen. Every time I see or feel my new body, it's like I've won the lottery.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Rachel on November 23, 2014, 08:56:17 AM
I have been thinking more and more about surgeries, I think about it several times a day, before bed and when I wake up.

I am very apprehensive. I want my wife and to be corrected but I may need to choose or have the choice made for me. I will work on the difficult conversations in therapy for 2015. I want to work on completing all the requirements for the surgery now or start soon. Then when I have made my decision I will no lost time.

The complications are something I am worried about as well as time away from work and being kicked out by my wife. If I do not continue I am worried my dysphoria will get the best of me.

I thought therapy and HRT would be enough. Then group would be enough and now I know I want to be the best I can be.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: PinkCloud on November 23, 2014, 09:26:51 AM
Having had SRS just 4 weeks ago, the pain was less than I anticipated. Although I had extra complications which made it worse than normal, I still managed fine. After 14 days I was of pain medication. Without complication I could have been of at the 7 day mark I think. After 2 days they stopped giving me morphine, and gave me paracetamol. So I think you'll do just fine. Just let go... and let the surgeon and nurses take care of you. Trust me, I am such a control freak, letting go was the only thing that made the whole experience wonderful, instead of painful.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Megumi on November 23, 2014, 10:13:20 AM
The only thing I'm scared of is NOT being able to afford to have it done once I've cleared the 1 year of living full time requirement and to see how lucky I can get with my insurance & doctor that I want to use for the operation. Pain doesn't scare me, I'm a woman and for me having male anatomy down there completely delegitimizes who I am as a woman. I have zero concern about having regret post-op as I know who I am through and through. 
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: MyKa on November 23, 2014, 10:15:11 AM
No fears just scared it might be another year before it becomes reality
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Kamiki on November 23, 2014, 10:30:45 AM
Quote from: Tori on November 23, 2014, 03:07:15 AM
Biggest fear? That the surgeon is rocking out to Hedwig and the Angry Inch as I am put under.

You just made my morning.

My biggest fear has always been not having it done and regretting it for the remainder of my life.

And I have hope I can upgrade in the future (when you combine the woman in Europe who got a stem cell vagina and the fact we are to womb transplants....well one day I may be able to go get a factory replacement!). So my biggest fear now, that getting my neovag in any way inhibits my future ability to get a real one if it ever becomes possible/feasible.


Kami
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Makenzie on November 23, 2014, 10:33:29 AM
I know.I hope one day before I get too old that we can get pregnant and have bio children.Im only in my teens so maybe it could happen.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: TSJasmine on November 23, 2014, 01:09:22 PM
Quote from: ImagineKate on November 23, 2014, 06:48:32 AM
I'm married to my wife (for now) and she likes my penis. I was hoping I would keep it and we could still enjoy each other with it. But it looks like HRT will quickly kill my male sexual function anyway so what's the point. And I'm unsure my marriage will last too. :(

Actually, almost 16 months on E & I am still functional. Dry orgasm, but still functional. Also, my testosterone is literally 1 & my Estrogen is in a high adult female range. Sooo, you may not lose it. I think it's one of those things that are like "If you don't use it, you lose it" . So, yeahhh. It will probably shrink though, js.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Rose City Rose on November 24, 2014, 03:19:34 AM
Quote from: SammyRose on November 23, 2014, 02:21:39 AM
I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I'm unable to enjoy intimacy at all now, due to dysphoria over the wrong parts.

SRS for me is an opportunity for me to rid that source of dyphoria, and an opportunity for me to actually enjoy intimacy for the remainder of my life. With that perspective, the risks are real, but worth it for what I can gain.

If I get to that point, I'd take the chance, yeah.  I think complete loss of enjoyment and/or suicidality might be the last straw for me.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: ImagineKate on November 24, 2014, 03:46:27 PM

Quote from: TSJasmine on November 23, 2014, 01:09:22 PM
Actually, almost 16 months on E & I am still functional. Dry orgasm, but still functional. Also, my testosterone is literally 1 & my Estrogen is in a high adult female range. Sooo, you may not lose it. I think it's one of those things that are like "If you don't use it, you lose it" . So, yeahhh. It will probably shrink though, js.

I took low dose e only for 2 months and found it difficult to maintain an erection. I know I couldn't have penetrative sex after a certain point so I just stopped trying.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Makenzie on November 24, 2014, 04:12:51 PM
I mean,regret is my main fear,honestly.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: stephaniec on November 24, 2014, 04:23:36 PM
the main problem for me is that I have no one to help me after surgery and how ever long it takes to get back to normal. that scares me.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Makenzie on November 24, 2014, 04:32:56 PM
I thought you were post-op Stephanie :)
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: immortal gypsy on November 24, 2014, 04:35:08 PM
Ultimate fear: I want GAS at least until I'm out then you can use one of those infernal things on me.

Major fear: Waking up it is surgery after all

Constant Worry: Being able to pay before and after costs. I'm classified as a casual so I don't have sick holiday pay. Including time off work I know my costs will be high so I need to save hard and well.

Minor fear: Do I want/need the surgery will I be happy if I have it will there be any regrets? Right now yes, yes and no but that may change.  Will have to be having some serious talks with a professional when I reach my target balance
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: HoneyStrums on November 24, 2014, 04:59:08 PM
Scared? Yes!

But what of. I suppose at this momet im scared of all the egatives listed here. But iroicaly i think the fear that will get me the most is, the shock factor of what the apeal derectly after opp is. (part of me wants to not have to look at it for 6 mounths).

The fact ill go for srs is something im acustomed to right now. So Atleast im notworried about the should I or Shouldt i side to it. So for the shock factor Ill need to see if there is some way i ca see imediat afters alongside the same patients months after. (that shoud ease it a bit)

Another fear of mine, is depth, (not being able to get that avarage with a bit of room to spare) Or messing up the dialation, my tolerece for pain is quite high and im frightened i might split my stiches with the dialator. or just do it all wrong. (Guessing dialation is not masterbation, not initially anyway)

The Iroic side to my fears, is im more scared of somthing I might do wrong afterwards and/or before as aposed to the surgery its self.
My guess is fears are a part of who we are too, and somthing scar other more then others. (so i though id add my two cents here, ust incase my fears are closer to others)
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: stephaniec on November 24, 2014, 05:00:40 PM
Quote from: Makenzie on November 24, 2014, 04:32:56 PM
I thought you were post-op Stephanie :)
no, but it would be great to have that in the distant past.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Stephe on November 24, 2014, 05:39:55 PM
Quote from: Rose City Rose on November 23, 2014, 12:27:44 AM
*Complications: painful, nasty, and potentially unpleasant complications are way too common for my liking.  I've come to the conclusion that the surgery compromises the integrity of the body so badly that the risk of complications is excessively high.  Furthermore, once a vital part of the body is weakened by incisions or tearing it can fail months or even years later even if it heals up initially.

*Possible loss of orgasm: related to the above.

*Regret: in my case, related to the above.  If I could just take a pill and wake up with a vagina I wouldn't hesitate but I know I'll have regrets if I spend the rest of my life with recurring fistulas, chronic infections, or unable to enjoy intimacy as far too many post-op MtFs do.

*lack of long-term data: the available studies on the long-term outcomes of these surgeries are rife with problems and don't really come to any clear conclusions.  How often do complications arise?  Will a neovagina eventually prolapse 30 years later and cause me an agonizing death?  Will I only get 10 good years as a woman before I start losing depth?  I just don't know and neither do the doctors who perform these surgeries.

For my part, I decided not to get a vaginoplasty until it's a life-or-death matter for me.  It's too risky.  I'll make do with an orchi for now because even though I hate having male parts, I can kind of deal with it.

This sums it up for me as well. Post orchi, I finally feel right and not sure I really need more.
Title: Re: Is anyone scared of SRS,if so,what is your biggest fear?
Post by: Christine167 on November 24, 2014, 06:07:42 PM
Complications. The very thought of perforating my colon by accident is terrifying to me.

However that's it. I've worked for years in an OR and I'm okay with how things are done. I just need to make the decision to have it or not and then find a good doctor.