I can't be the only transgender individual not invited to the family gatherings this year. There wasn't an inkling of invite, for the first time ever, I was simply ignored in any plans to travel back to our hometown to see family. Fun times.
Yeah, it hurts.
But what do other people in the same situation do? I was thinking of just making a phone call or two so I can at least have dinner with a few people I know. Maybe a few glasses of wine :D
you?
I'm on my 20th year of no invites. I like to make a real nice turkey, dressing, beets, sweet potatoes some times candied, cranberry sauce , pumpkin pie , rutabaga and tea. I use to split the turkey with my dog until he passed.
No family Christmas here either, but it's kind of a reverse I got sick of how they were acting and cut ties and moved across country. It was an endless stream of things like saying they'd support me then kicking me out of the house, I had enough of flip flopping I'll consider giving them another try when my mental health is better. I have a lot of mental health issues to manage besides being in transition right now, transition is actually really well managed.
You're not the only one.
Wrong family to be born transgender into.
No invite here either. My mother would like me along but other family members not so much.
Same here, I'm catching up with people on Boxing Day, So I will be here with my favourite family - you Guys!
So we will all have Christmas together, don't despair we won't be alone we will have a
Happy TransChristmas
Actually I was wrong...
I will be spending Christmas with my family. My adopted family. The only family I have any more. :)
"If you want to come, dress appropiately" (guy mode).
No wey, Jose. Not that I care. Even if I wore my most andro clothes and no makeup, I can't pass as a guy.
Quote from: Julia (Apple-Whatever) on December 18, 2014, 01:30:31 AM
"If you want to come, dress appropiately" (guy mode).
No wey, Jose. Not that I care. Even if I wore my most andro clothes and no makeup, I can't pass as a guy.
So dress appropriately!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7d4.scene7.com%2Fis%2Fimage%2FCostumeSupercenter%2FRMC126%3F%24mediumlarge%24&hash=a2b5ad41ef17f087278179bfb1f7996d7309c6b1)
I stay away through choice.My sister has bad arthritis and 5 kids.5 kids = 3 boyfriends & 2 girlfriends.The last thing she needs is someone else there
My family hates me. I have memorized the last things I heard from my immediate family:
Mother: "You are now an orphan."
Father: "You are a worthless piece of ->-bleeped-<- that will never amount to anything in life. You should do the world a favor and kill yourself."
Brother 1: "I am going to beat the ->-bleeped-<-got out of you!"
Brother 2: "If you use our families name I will kill you."
Brother 3: "You better watch your back because I will find you."
Brother 4: "I never want to see or hear from you ever again and don't come to my funeral." (Ironically he died and nobody told me he died)
Brother 5: "That is interesting..."
Brother 6: "You are hateful and don't ever contact me again."
Sister 1: "You are sickening and I am not your sister anymore!"
Sister 2: "I am going to stab you in the neck with a pencil while you sleep so you bleed out and nobody can hear your screams."
Sister 3: "Why don't you just date men?" (I never heard from her again)
Clearly I am not welcome...
Quote from: Natalie on December 18, 2014, 02:29:18 AM
My family hates me. I have memorized the last things I heard from my immediate family:
Mother: "You are now an orphan."
Father: "You are a worthless piece of ->-bleeped-<- that will never amount to anything in life. You should do the world a favor and kill yourself."
Brother 1: "I am going to beat the ->-bleeped-<-got out of you!"
Brother 2: "If you use our families name I will kill you."
Brother 3: "You better watch your back because I will find you."
Brother 4: "I never want to see or hear from you ever again and don't come to my funeral." (Ironically he died and nobody told me he died)
Brother 5: "That is interesting..."
Brother 6: "You are hateful and don't ever contact me again."
Sister 1: "You are sickening and I am not your sister anymore!"
Sister 2: "I am going to stab you in the neck with a pencil while you sleep so you bleed out and nobody can hear your screams."
Sister 3: "Why don't you just date men?" (I never heard from her again)
Clearly I am not welcome...
Nobody deserves a family like that. I am so sorry to hear this.
Sister 4: "Big hugs. You are an amazing person and have risen so far above your blood relatives that they'd need a telescope to find you now."
No holiday dinners with the family here either, I have had lunch one time with my daughter since going full time. I have not seen my grandkids at all, My father has agreed to see me sometime but will not commit to a date and comes up with other plans when I do, so not so sure about that branch on the tree. I will be spending time with friends and my partners kids and grandkids who think having two grandma's is the coolest thing in the world. and without doubt be on line a bit with people here. this is my second year of this so it is not so tramatic this year but last year was pretty rough for sure. and i did go and buy a smoking hot new red and white dress just for the event
xoxo
merry crisTmas to all
Well I will still be having Christmas with my wife and son. She's upset that I'm transgender and eventually we're going to divorce, but we're still going to co parent our son and spend holidays. We live together just sleep in separate rooms.
Quote from: Cindy on December 18, 2014, 01:18:00 AM
Same here, I'm catching up with people on Boxing Day, So I will be here with my favourite family - you Guys!
So we will all have Christmas together, don't despair we won't be alone we will have a
Happy TransChristmas
I'm sorry , but due to the OZ language barrier , is this what you mean by boxing day
Some of these families referred to need their ears "boxed".
Sorry to hear that people can be so mean and uncaring.
Sorry to hear everyone, I will be alone as well this year. Trying to out do last years killer dinner of a frozen pizza :(
Third year without an invite or even a card.
Oh well, I had to rebuild my life from the ground up after an emotional meltdown, and they didn't want to be involved in the process (even before I realized I was trans)...if they want to come back now, they're going to have to earn it. I won't forget that they abandoned me even in my least need.
My family lives far away anyway. We don't do Christmas lunch or dinner anymore because we all live so far apart, as in different coasts and different countries. And I really don't feel like flying.
I am going to have a good time with my wife and kids. That's enough for me.
I'm curious to see how many people disown me when I come fully out to them. Not that I particularly care. I've always been somewhat of a loner and I mostly live independently of my family. My inlaws pretty much disowned us after the wedding too after my protest about making it more of a family reunion rather than our wedding.
*Big hugs* to all of you who have been so deeply rejected. No one deserves what you have gone through.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
I will say though, even though all the people I knew pre-transition (except one couple) left me, I have gained at least as many friends and family (thank you, fiancé and her family) as before...and these people are MUCH better and more deserving of the sparkle that I am!!
It *does* get better!
My family doesn't know yet, but ice always been the black sheep. So this year I decided I'm not JUST the black sheep.....I'm the black sheep with the cute pink bow. [emoji4]
Bobbi
I won't see my two daughters - aged 26 and 25 - at all this Christmas. No card, no present, no nothing. If I'm lucky I'll get a little bit of time with my 16 year-old son. My wife has been running a brutal campaign against me for a couple of years now. the last time I spoke to my younger daughter - a former medical student who has also suffered from anorexia, so she should be both knowledgeable and empathetic - she called me, 'A ->-bleeped-<-ing freak.' And this is BEFORE any visible signs of transition.
I'm totally devastated. But i guess my wife has already taken everything from me, so what more do I have to lose?
(On the plus side, my dad and my sisters have been incredible, as have my friends, so I am not alone).
Quote from: Carlita on December 18, 2014, 09:33:17 AM
I won't see my two daughters - aged 26 and 25 - at all this Christmas. No card, no present, no nothing. If I'm lucky I'll get a little bit of time with my 16 year-old son. My wife has been running a brutal campaign against me for a couple of years now. the last time I spoke to my younger daughter - a former medical student who has also suffered from anorexia, so she should be both knowledgeable and empathetic - she called me, 'A ->-bleeped-<-ing freak.' And this is BEFORE any visible signs of transition.
I'm totally devastated. But i guess my wife has already taken everything from me, so what more do I have to lose?
(On the plus side, my dad and my sisters have been incredible, as have my friends, so I am not alone).
the pluses definitely help
Quote from: stephaniec on December 18, 2014, 09:42:34 AM
the pluses definitely help
That's true .. but to lose the love of the children I fathered and raised and supported all their lives ... that rips out my heart.
Oh my god, my absolute condolences to those who have posted in this thread with terrible families!! I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must be... I have gone through a really low point in the last 6 or 8 weeks, a lot due to being I a lot of physical pain which has just been surgically corrected in the last week :), but also a lot to do with a few trans related struggles I've had.. However I have had an amazing supportive family, especially my mum who has just been and absolute rock for me, and has been so so amazing, we are closer than ever and I'm just so happy about that.. Even the heavily religious members of my family have been really great, with messages of support etc. Religion is no excuse for bigotry..!! We're going to have a big family Christmas with 20+ people attending, I'm really looking forward to it! Even with this lovely support, things have been hard enough, and without it, I can't even imagine, I don't think I would be here... I am so amazed by the strength of you all, your families should realise how lucky they are to have you!!! It just makes me so mad hearing these stories!!
I'm not intending to gloat with my wee story, I'm just trying to say that there is no excuse for these so called 'family' members to be so horrible... it is their problem, not yours.. I think you're all amazing! :) I wish I could hug you all and invite to our Christmas at the beach :) -it's summer here by the way :p
Anyway I wish you all love over the holidays :) Claire.
I don't understand the sheer venom that so many people get from their own flesh and blood. My heart goes out to all who do.
As for me, I'm cut off from my dad--which cuts me off from a lot of my family. My brother and sister (who've been very good to me) insisted that at his great age he simply wouldn't be able to deal with ->-bleeped-<-, and I had to agree that they were right.
But virtually all of my family are on the other side of the ocean, so I wouldn't see them terribly often anyway. As it is, I'll have Christmas with my son who's proven to be the best son in the world. We always have a quiet Christmas--a bit of drink, a lot of food, a lot of films. We always enjoy being together for a few days. So I'm looking forward to a good time.
I can add to this list. This year I'm not seeing the family for any of our usual events, including Christmas. I've only been around them this year for the funeral of my grandfather, where they did their best to treat me as "their son, Kyle" and acted like nothing was different. My dad spoke to me then, but otherwise avoids communicating with me in any way. My mom will talk to me, but completely avoids the topic of my transition. If it comes up, she starts a nasty, abusive fight with me about it. I have to hang up on her to preserve my sanity, but then she tries to call back over and over for the next half hour. I then have to turn my phone off. I don't know why I bother. At least my brother is on my side.
I'm not going to let them turn me bitter this year. I've lived out of state for a few years now, so I've created my own group of new friends and family here. If that family won't let me have a merry Christmas, then this one will.
Ouch. I'm so sorry.
I'm actually traveling to see my family this year... but I hear through the grapevine that my in-laws, who disowned my wife for staying married to me, have been saying they hope I die soon so I can get to hell faster. (Needless to say, I don't miss THEM!)
The bad - I will be spending Christmas this year away from my abusive and non-accepting spouse and my two daughters who are victims & have fallen into her bitterness and hatred of me thru her influences. My daughters are 13 & 11 and haven't spoken to me in weeks, which is really killing me considering we used to be very close and tightly involved in sports together.
On the slightly brighter side, but yet to be determined how merry it will be. I'm heading on about a 6 hours drive from Minneapolis, MN to the border of Wisconsin/Illinois to spend my first Christmas in about 8 years with my parents and extended older brothers and sisters - 3 of each, plus all the nieces and nephews that come with it. I'm out fully to my parents, but not the rest of my family ....... and this Christmas I will be coming out to all either in person of thru a hand delivered Christmas card. Time will tell how long Christmas Eve lasts .... might need a back-up hotel reservation.
Wish me luck and safe driving!
good luck
Good luck and drive safe. Holiday traveling is brutal.
Bobbi
To everyone in this topic that have or will post the un-acceptance from there family I holdeach of you in my heart this holiday season.
There will be a day we are accepted for our medical dysphoria.
I will be around here Christmas eve and will hold my hand out to anyone wishing to talk.
Hug
Izzy
Quote from: stephaniec on December 18, 2014, 08:19:59 PM
good luck
Quote from: zordeles on December 18, 2014, 08:30:25 PM
Good luck and drive safe. Holiday traveling is brutal.
Bobbi
Thanks to you both for the kind well wishes.
To Mrs. Izzy, thanks for being here for us, it means a lot knowing we have such a wide and caring family with everyone here.
I will be alone, and so I will invite some people (mostly elderly) who are also alone and make a nice dinner
Quote from: V M on December 18, 2014, 08:56:02 PM
I will be alone, and so I will invite some people (mostly elderly) who are also alone and make a nice dinner
Send me the bill.
I'm not kidding. It's all on me.
While I have to be at our Christmas gathering because I am cooking dinner, I can't appear as I would like. I would like to wear a nice dress. But since my sister is inviting a multitude of people I could care less about, I have to dress more conservative. At least for the time being, I have to "hide" who I really am.
If male, I am welcome. If me, I am not.
I am undecided.
Jen
My family do not even know I transitioned, I'm too much a coward to tell them. But I wouldn't be welcome regardless, they disowned me for other reasons years ago. My housemate didn't want me with his family for thanksgiving for the first time since we met so I am uncertain whether he will invite me (as he always has in the past) to his family's for christmas. Both my friends are out of town, visiting their own families. I broke up with my boyfriend for being an ignorant ->-bleeped-<- a few weeks ago, so I won't be with him and his friends either.
I almost regret breaking up with my boyfriend when I did, I could maybe have put it off until after the holidays. Then I remember what he said and how much it hurt and how he reacted when I told him I was hurt and ... oh yes. I'm better off alone, definitely.
I don't even LIKE christmas. I'm not christian so it has never been religious, and the blatant commercialism of it makes me sick. But I still wish for that impossible dream of being surrounded by loving family and friends that's an inescapable part of the holidays. I'm scared for this year, given how unstable I've been lately. My friends know, and I got promised date nights from both of them after they get back. My therapist knows and I've been promised a quick response if I email her. There isn't anything else I can do. But I'm still scared.
well, Susan's is here. I think the Mods said something about a virtual party with all the trimmings .
It just possibly may become a Rock and Roll Christmas 8)
I'll only be having Christmas dinner with my mum, I don't have friends or any other family to support me so it will be nice, I've got prawns, scallops, squid rings, Ham, lobster, tartare sauce, chips, coleslaw, Pavlova and a non alcoholic wine for Christmas dinner, the best way to have an Aussie summer.
Not so much as not invited, more left behind and forgotten.
Brother 1 (+ wife): Not talking to me
Sister 1 (+ husband): In America on honeymoon
Mother: In America with sister
Brother 2: In America with mother and sister
Sister 2: Has not worked out what state she is pending Christmas in, leaving me in a state of shock.
What is upsetting for me, I thought my mother would be in Queensland this Christmas, and as I was working over the three days we usually have ours early. I found out she was overseas from my sister, who had found out from our aunt in Queensland who found out from our grandmother. As I said I've been left behind and forgotten
Any Aussies who want to come to my place are welcome!
Any none Aussies are as well of course :laugh:
what time
Sort of don't have family to speak of.
Having lunch with my aunt, and her daughters and a phyco cat.
Wish my mum was here but that's not possible.
My sister is living on another planet. Which one is the question. Just picture Sheldon and Amy if you get the idea.
My Dad, the less I think about him the better.
Xmas has always been a hard time for me.
The sooner it passes the better.
I hate it. :'(
Lucky I have to work an have no holidays booked.
Gypsy, she took her mother and brother on her honeymoon? And they call us strange!
I am so sorry that there is so much pain and rejection of us around the holidays caused by our own families. It is wrong. I want to give everyone a big << hug >>.
Quote from: JLT1 on December 18, 2014, 10:24:37 PM
If male, I am welcome. If me, I am not.
I am decided.
I modified your quote Jen because I was given the same decision and I said screw it, i'm NOT going masquerading as the false person I once thought I was - that masquerade almost killed me. And besides, I'd be doing it simply to make someone else feel comfortable. Nope, not gonna do it.
Needless to say I have been disowned and barred from ever seeing them again, which is fine with me. I have friends that are my family where I live now and I'd rather spend time with them than with my biological family.
Quote from: Eva Marie on December 19, 2014, 09:09:20 AM
I modified your quote Jen because I was given the same decision and I said screw it, i'm NOT going masquerading as the false person I once thought I was - that masquerade almost killed me. And besides, I'd be doing it simply to make someone else feel comfortable. Nope, not gonna do it.
Same here. Not too long ago my sister asked me if I would appear at a certain function as my old self, and I refused categorically. I'll never go back to my old self, not for five minutes, not for any reason. My sister knows me too well to argue with me.
Going to see my family for new year's, but they don't know. My mom was in the background when I called my dad the other day, saying to make sure I bring "nice" clothes. She has been policing what I wear my entire life, so it's a huge source of anxiety for me, especially considering the consequences. The last time I saw them, she ragged on my short hair the whole time, and then told my dad I can't come to dinner if I don't wear what she bought me (I was wearing very nice feminine clothes btw). Later that night she emotionally abused the living ->-bleeped-<- out of me in the car, while my dad sat there silently like he always does. It still hurts when I think about it. Since I've been starting to figure out my self, I've bought a bunch of guy pants, shoes, etc and plan on wearing them. The backlash is going to be horrible and traumatizing (screaming, emotion abuse, blackmail), but I truly feel like I have to. I haven't worn any of my women's pants since I got the guys ones. I have a binder coming in the mail today, and this past week has felt like the longest week ever waiting for it. I'm straight up terrified of what I'm getting myself into when I go there.
I'm sorry to hear so many voices who have been rejected by their families. It completely disgusts me to think that someone, a parent especially, could ever do that.
For me, it may be an interesting holiday. Right now, there are three people in the (real) world who know that I'm trans: me, my wife, and my therapist. So far I'm 3/3 for everyone being unbelievably supportive. (Oh, I guess it's four: I suppose the receptionist who took down my appointment with the endocrinologist knows too. :) ) Over the holidays I am going to come out to my mom and dad. I'm 99.9% sure that they will be supportive and understanding, at least after the initial shock subsides. Still, that 0.1% is scaring the heck out of me. I plan to have "the talks" (separately because they're divorced) after Christmas itself. So I guess the real question is how my New Year's goes...
I spend the day quietly with the only person who truly matters to me myself. And I do the things I enjoy for the the one that truly understands me! Myself on this journey we need to learn to love ourselves! And all the other stuff will fall into place. Be positive you are finding out the people who truly love you. So enjoy the day and love will come
Quote from: Emerald_Marsh on December 19, 2014, 10:33:56 AM
I spend the day quietly with the only person who truly matters to me myself. And I do the things I enjoy for the the one that truly understands me! Myself on this journey we need to learn to love ourselves! And all the other stuff will fall into place. Be positive you are finding out the people who truly love you. So enjoy the day and love will come
I have to say, you are a really strong person.
Quote from: Dee Walker on December 19, 2014, 07:15:56 AM
Gypsy, she took her mother and brother on her honeymoon? And they call us strange!
I think from what I heard they went up a week or so later, but essentially Dee yes. My sister has taken her mother and brother with her on a honeymoon, AND the mother in law. I wish I was making this up, to know my family is to love them. I will probably be eating cheese ball and doing a 3d jigsaw puzzle Christmas Day
I feel bad for everyone that can't be with their family on Christmas. My parents are divorced, my mother remarried for 29 years, my father remarried (a 3rd time) 6 years ago. My father and his wife don't want anything to do with my (although his step daughters that are 20 and 23 are supportive.)
Fortunately my mother and step father, brother, 2 step sisters and step brother have all been accepting and supportive and will be flying down to South Florida for Christmas to visit and spend time with them. (All my sibling are much younger than me with a 8 1/2 years difference between my brother and I and he's the 2nd oldest.) My brother just moved their from here in NJ in September and one of my step sisters move their from Philly last October. My mom is super excited to see me (I last saw her in April about 3 weeks after going full time.) My step father came up to visit in July, and it looking forward to seeing me and my wife again.
My elderly inlaws are coming up this year from Wisconsin. They have not seen me in many years and so hope they dont ruin it for my wife and I. It may very well be the last time my wife sees them. There is no way if i wanted to, to try and be old me. My parents and brother and sister long ago saw me on facebook and cut ties. Im pretty nervous just for my wife. Reading the terrible things here ive even less hope. I so wish any of you alone were in Alaska as id invite you to hang with us.
Yes, I was invited. but I really REALLY REALLY don't want to go. I have inlaws that still use old names and pronouns. and when I come home on the weekends all my wife and sister-in-law do is bitch about each other, TO ME!
It's like living in a house with cast members from Survivor and I'm that camera they all talk to. Once I get my CDL I will have a good excuse not to attend.
"Yes, I'm sorry. I can't be there this year because I"M MAKING MONEY so you can actually have a Christmas."
I am so looking forward to spending Christmas in a semi. I even have a tiny tree for my dashboard. Add some LED Christmas lights.... it will be great. A day when Santa brings me the gift of one day without whining, fighting, nagging and complaining in either ear and no in-laws who make me want to slap them.
And yes, I am that bitter. The only real joy I had last year was being able to talk with Birkin and wear the PJ's and socks he sent me. And even though he hates my guts I would still rather go to his house than be in mine. The only thing I will miss is my son.
I was invited, but I'm not going. "Family" stuff always gives me anxiety.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I was doing a 'rent to buy ' For the last two years from my mother and when she found out what I was 'doing to myself' she Withdrew the offer,told myself and my partner on the Tuesday two weeks ago we had to get the
Finance to purchase the property within one week. On the Thursday rang my partner and abused her,
Told her we wouldn't get the loan as her solicitor had said we wouldn't. On the Friday we got approval, and on Monday just gone we received an eviction notice. That's ok because she told a family friend that even if I didn't want to talk to her because of her decision she still wants to see the grandkids! Well still packing, down 60grand which was supposed to come off the principal, and she says we still owe her 30 grand .no invites for us either....and my brother has been doing drive bys, and is seeking intervention orders for me to stay away from his family, even though I haven't seen him for six months.
That's it in the short version
Quote from: Kristyn74 on December 21, 2014, 03:41:40 AM
I was doing a 'rent to buy ' For the last two years from my mother and when she found out what I was 'doing to myself' she Withdrew the offer,told myself and my partner on the Tuesday two weeks ago we had to get the
Finance to purchase the property within one week. On the Thursday rang my partner and abused her,
Told her we wouldn't get the loan as her solicitor had said we wouldn't. On the Friday we got approval, and on Monday just gone we received an eviction notice. That's ok because she told a family friend that even if I didn't want to talk to her because of her decision she still wants to see the grandkids! Well still packing, down 60grand which was supposed to come off the principal, and she says we still owe her 30 grand .no invites for us either....and my brother has been doing drive bys, and is seeking intervention orders for me to stay away from his family, even though I haven't seen him for six months.
That's it in the short version
In Australian English - that is completely rooted!?! How the hell do these people keep living without self-combusting or blowing up or in some other way self-destructing? What on earth are they gaining by this kind of behaviour.
I'm really sorry you've had such a completely screwed time of it. I hope you and your partner can get through this period and come out the other end in one piece.
I wish you all the very best.
Hour #1: apply Sally Hansen Miracle Cure to nails. Since no one is home, the smell won't bother them. :)
#StayPositive
Reading all of these posts disgust me. Why are people so cruel? I am not outed yet (although my wife can't not know). I never said "hey, I am transgender" but have told her pretty much what's up. She has to have put 2 and 2 together by now. I am/was considering telling some family members at dinner tomorrow, uncles and aunts who are gay, figuring they may be the most understanding, but am now totally having second thoughts. All of the personal stories shared here have made me reconsider as I am not ready to lose everything nor be terminally rejected by people I love.
It's 2014, WTF is wrong with people? 100 years ago women couldn't wear pants blah blah blah etc etc etc. Why is the world so damn transphobic?
Merry Christmas to everyone else who is also alone today.
Amelia
Who needs enemies when we have relatives, right?
I learned that family can hate you. Friends can betray you. But the only person who's love and acceptance should matter is yourself.
My family is split on me. Half attend family get-togethers with me, half skip and do their own thing. I don't care, it's their loss: I bake awesome cheesecakes.
Anathema keeps me company tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH7icBnCTrQ
Be'lakor is my music of choice tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQH2jeBZMQc&list=FLnqMl2Y4aLpMvv10bnwBpNQ&index=111
Neighbors invited me over for dinner which was very nice.
Afterwards, we talked about all things, and set the record straight in the local 'hood about our situation. No one was even close. Came out to her she was completely understanding and even offered to help with makeup.
A pretty awesome night really, completely unscripted
I was invited, but severe upper abdominal pain made me skip out on everyone but my mom. I'm sorry to those who didn't even have the opportunity.
I transitioned at age 24, in 1974, and was never welcome at home any time after that.
I had been adopted as an infant and 3 years ago my birth family came looking for me. They welcomed me with open arms and I now have a family.
I was alone for Christmas but my family is some 5000 miles away from me so it wasn't lack of invite. I know my friends had their own things planned with their families but it would have been nice for someone to reach out and see if I was ok or wanted to join them.
I was doing pretty well until I started seeing all of the family pics on FB - the trees and presents, happy kids, family meals and that's when things went South for me. I realised, again, that I'm not likely to ever get any of that. I don't ever expect to have a husband and kids and a tree full of gifts. That put me in a black mood that's still lingering.
I got invited and even turned up. Sometimes not being invited to something is the better option.
Oh well, maybe next year my family will have mysteriously morphed into reasonable human beings.
Rosie
Quote from: Northern Jane on December 26, 2014, 03:40:42 PM
I transitioned at age 24, in 1974, and was never welcome at home any time after that.
I had been adopted as an infant and 3 years ago my birth family came looking for me. They welcomed me with open arms and I now have a family.
that's great
No, me too. But you know, had I been invited, I would not have gone anyway.
It's a toxic environment I no longer want to be a part of. 40 years of family war which I have no desire to inherit. Instead, I had a lovely peaceful day all to myself, and it cost me nothing :~)
Quote from: immortal gypsy on December 19, 2014, 04:06:59 AM
Not so much as not invited, more left behind and forgotten.
Brother 1 (+ wife): Not talking to me
Sister 1 (+ husband): In America on honeymoon
Mother: In America with sister
Brother 2: In America with mother and sister
Sister 2: Has not worked out what state she is pending Christmas in, leaving me in a state of shock.
What is upsetting for me, I thought my mother would be in Queensland this Christmas, and as I was working over the three days we usually have ours early. I found out she was overseas from my sister, who had found out from our aunt in Queensland who found out from our grandmother. As I said I've been left behind and forgotten
Ok late update:
Sister was in Sydney so I spent the afternoon with her, plus the cutest four year old nephew in the world, (please note this is not open to debate ;)).
Also a girlfriend was in Sydney Cristmas Eve and invited me over to dinner with her family, so I spent the night there. Her mother has been suportive from day one. While it is nice to have blood family support, Ihave found family can come in all shapes and sizes