Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Good afternoon guys and dolls, and welcome to Nero's Not-so Pointless Poll for the Day!

How much risk of loss of orgasm would you be willing (or were willing for post-ops) to take for SRS?

Would you only have SRS if you were guaranteed in writing the ability to orgasm?
Would you be willing to take just a small risk (most patients came out with orgasmic ability)?
What if the risk were 50/50 you'd ever orgasm again?
What if you had to sign a paper confirming your understanding that SRS would forever take your orgasmic ability?

Ladies only please. Gentlemen's poll here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,17996.msg138995.html#msg138995
Elaboration on your vote desired but not mandatory.


^{This informative poll was brought to you by our sponsor 107.6 N.E.R.O. Bringing you the best in inspired rants and informative polls non-stop, every hour on the hour with no commercial breaks.}

to be honest, id rather have my cloths fit right, and not have this thing even if i was left with a smooth flat area and no vagina...
orgasmic ability doesnt bother me too much. it would be nice. but id need a guy first! afterall, ive still got buttsechs if all goes pearshaped :D
R :police:

It's not a factor for me. Sure, I'd LIKE to keep the ability... assuming it's even still THERE, lol... but whether I can or can't orgasm doesn't affect my need for SRS.

~Kate~

keep it? last time i had sex, i never once had a orgasm by useing that area. and it was still awesome :D
R :police:

Do I get a discount for picking #4? Not that it matters. That would be my choice regardless.

Karen Lyn

Picked 4. but hey, can already get orgasm from self-manipulation, toys :D at the back entrance and even the breasts !!! So, myself I believe orgasm are all in the brain and you can retrain any very sensitive area to produce them if you really really want to. Some TS have been so repressed sexually, by loathing their body, that they don't even know how to link sensual touches to excitation.

I can almost pass out from bliss with a mere kiss, so your result may vary. I'm a very sensual person (euphemism).

I remember that I could regurlarly make my one and only girlfriend by manipulating her breasts, you should have seen her wiggle... I wonder if I look like that  ;D

I picked #4. I didn't care if I never had an orgasm again, I just wanted to be whole with my body.
Sheila

I am not worried about it at all.  SRS is that important.


Sarah L.

I chose Small Risk (most patents come out with orgasmic ability)

Why?  Do I really care that much?  HELL YEAH I DO....  If Im going to spend the next who knows how many years working myself to death to afford the OP it damned well better be sucessful....  Im not going to waste my money on a Thi surgeon or a butcher... If your going to spend around 20k <by the time I can afford it> on GRS you better have a very good chance of maintaining sensitivity down there.....

If the risk is too high you might as well just have a nullification down there and buy a new car with the saveings...  seriously folks...

Well, I have had quite a few orgasms in my life, but other than the production of my children, it really hasn't brought me any kind of fulfillment of any kind. It's more like eating or scratching an itch. It has been more like accommodating a biological need. Since it(orgasming) has brought me no personal happiness so far, there is no reason to believe it will in the future.

On the other hand, I have reason to believe that changing my body to fit the image I see of myself will bring me considerable relief and a sense of contentment. Something orgasm has never been able to accomplish, but not for a lack of trying.

Basically I feel that if one needs to think about whether or not orgasm is that important to them, then it's probably too important to give up. Before I ever knew exactly how GRS/SRS was performed, I assumed it meant removing the penis. These new techniques that involve keeping sensitive tissue making orgasm possible post op, are things I never dreamed would be possible. But to be honest, it's more about getting rid of things than it is to gain something.

Love always,
Elizabeth

I loved sex in my prior life.  Don't misunderstand me. 

But....

Had I not been able to secure GRS, I would have done it myself.  I really would have. The results of self mutilation would likely have been death.  I did not care.

Obviously, I didn't even consider post-operative orgasm when considering surgery.  Honestly, I didn't even give it a thought.  My drive to a complete transition was very strong.

Cindi

#4

I had SRS even when I was told that I could never have another orgasm again.

Sex and the possibility of orgasm was NOT a priority for me.  My reasons for SRS were more profound than a mere orgasm.  :P   


tink :icon_chick:

IV for me too

QuoteI would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again. - 15 (75%)

Honestly, I am a virgin. Sex, SO is not why I am doing this mess. Really, I just want the part gone so I hopefully can get on with life. No, GRS is not a magic bullet but it does remove something that is a constant annoyance (and replaces with something that is an occasional annoyance) so *shrug* To me,orgasm, sex, heck sensation does not figure into it. (I would like to keep sensation tho, just for good measure I guess.)

Number 4

I find that the intimacy of sex itself (i.e., the closeness, the emotional connections, etc.) is more important than an orgasm.  Also, having female genitals is important to me.  I cant stand the look of being a bio male.  GRS is a must for me.

Quote#4 I would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again.

I don't care about orgasms.  Never did.  It was always more important to me to be who I am inside and outside.  If I'd chosen orgasms over GRS, it'd have been apparent that I'm not TS or as gender dyphoric as I was claiming to be.

Quote from: Yvonne on August 19, 2007, 05:56:00 AM

Quote#4 I would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again.

I don't care about orgasms.  Never did.  It was always more important to me to be who I am inside and outside.  If I'd chosen orgasms over GRS, it'd have been apparent that I'm not TS or as gender dyphoric as I was claiming to be.

I am sorry but I am not sure I agree with the implications of this statement. Because a relationship exists between things doesn't mean that one causes the other. There is absolutely no evidence to support a statement that transsexualism and lack of sexual desire are related as one being indicative of the other. I see no evidence that GID or GD is more severe or real or not real based on someone's sex drive.

It's like whenever they talk about rapists they say "and pornography was found at his home". Well guess what, you can find pornography in about 80% of American Homes. Are they all rapists? Maybe people who rape people also like pornography. Maybe, just maybe pornography does not cause rape? Since 99.99999% of the people who look at pornography never rape anyone.

It makes perfect sense to me that people who hold no value on their sexual drive or lack of sexual drive, would not worry about losing anything and proceed with GRS. On the other hand, there are also those who value sexual pleasure very much and losing it would be losing a lot. It also does not surprise me that those people might not ever have GRS or wait until they reached an age where they lost their sexual function.

I don't see how that determines the severity of GID or GD? People need to look deeper into these issues. There are people transitioning who are clearly concerned about losing sexual function or we would not be seeing the operation changed to one that may allow sexual function and orgasm. Because of that, I simply can not accept the causal relationship between no sex drive and GID or GD.

Love always,
Elizabeth

While I cannot foresee SRS in my future, if I could I would do it even if orgasms would certainly be lost.  I mean, really, orgasms are not all that important.  Fun, but not necessary.

hugs & smiles
Emelye

I picked number 4.  For me the need to align my body with my female self-identity is the most important goal.  I would love to have orgasmic ability but it is not a consideration in my decision to transition.

Maya

Quote from: regina on August 19, 2007, 09:14:54 AM
Okay, before this thread turns into another nasty catfight, the good news is that most transwomen have about as much capability post-SRS to have an orgasm as they did pre-SRS. As I understand it, there might be a prolonged period of learning how to relax and experience the changes in your body, but the possibility is entirely there. I think that's pretty amazing compared to women who had SRS 20 years ago (who tended to have a lot of postop problems) and people who transitioned 50 years ago who overwhelmingly didn't have SRS as an option. And in real world terms, the surgery is by and large less expensive than it was then. Pretty amazing, very cool.

That's pretty much what I have heard too.  If this really is the case, I feel pretty good about the future. ;)

i wonder how many here voted number 4, because they felt that was the 'right' answer to give? to be a 'propper' transexual?

R :police:

Well, I'm apparently part of the more or less non-orgasmic 5%, but I knew that was a possibility going into surgery.  My orgasms used to come from the bottom nerves, right behind the glans, not from the top.  I don't think they survived in the vagina, despite my notes for the doctor.  The clitoral area is very sensate, but rarely seems to take me over the top.  Maybe I'm just too lazy at my age.  That said, I've had a few orgasms, and I thought they'd blow the top of my head off.

Oh to be a kid of 50 again.

Robyn

Quote from: Rachael on August 19, 2007, 02:55:01 PM
i wonder how many here voted number 4, because they felt that was the 'right' answer to give? to be a 'propper' transexual?

R :police:

Hmm...I wonder that too. :eusa_think:

Quote from: Rachael on August 19, 2007, 02:55:01 PM
i wonder how many here voted number 4, because they felt that was the 'right' answer to give? to be a 'propper' transexual?

Why? Is this something you've felt tempted to do?

In my case, although I hate to get into justifying my answer... consider that I haven't had an orgasm in well over a year and a half. And I don't really miss it. I miss the stuff leading up to it... but the experience itself? I can't disassociate it from being a male sexually, so it's just kinda gross to me and I'd rather not anymore. I kinda feel like I'm being raped somehow, being violated.

With the proper genitals, I WOULD like to experience intimacy again, but again moreso for the things leading up to it, and how I could make a guy feel... and make him feel about me... moreso than me just having an orgasm myself. That's not my motivation at all in sex, and never has been.

~Kate~

i thought id get an indignant backlash at that comment. all fair...

my response is entirely truthful, and im sure your all are, but i just wonder, this is one of those topics that would have a 'correct, and incorect' answer, for a trans person,
does wanting the orgasm ability make you autogenophyilic? probably not,
but the view can be made,
and it shows something that most dont seem to care. which shows a greater depth of feeling.
this is like all topics, the stand to pee one for example, wrong and right answers, weather its made overt or not.

R :police:

I cheated and looked at the results first...

Truthfully, some quadriplegics can be brought to orgasm by fondling the nape of the neck, thus pointing out that orgasms happen in the brain, not the genitals.

I said in another thread that I'd want to be fully orgasmic and sexual, but would still do SRS even if there were no chance for (genital stimulated) orgasm.

As to Rachael's question about voting for no orgasm, there is no way to test or verify the assertion.  We have to take it on faith that a portion voted their real feelings, and another portion voted on I'm-holier-than-thou motivation...  The ratio is a matter of debate.

Karen

Quote from: Karen on August 19, 2007, 03:41:59 PM
I cheated and looked at the results first...

???Huh? All my polls are always 'only show results after someone has voted'. I could've sworn I checked that. ???

then again, karen is a global mod ;)
R :police:

I met a woman today at the AA meeting and we went to the plaza and she started caressing me and (not having had sex in six months) I felt myself getting wet! (less than a month post-op) Anyway, that feeling I got today was better than any orgasm I have ever had, looking  forward to taking it further soon.

Quote from: Nero on August 19, 2007, 03:48:58 PM

Quote from: Karen on August 19, 2007, 03:41:59 PM
I cheated and looked at the results first...

???Huh? All my polls are always 'only show results after someone has voted'. I could've sworn I checked that. ???

Nope, I could view the results as well. It's only fair seeing as you said women only :P

Dennis

Quote from: Rachael on August 19, 2007, 02:55:01 PM
i wonder how many here voted number 4, because they felt that was the 'right' answer to give? to be a 'propper' transexual?

R :police:

if this is the case, i feel very sorry for those people because they are lying to themselves more than anything.

i picked #4.  i will have grs on the 29th of this month.  i don't give a rat's posterior about orgasms.  as a matter of fact i'd have grs even if the odds of dying on the operating table were 99%.  katia needs to be katia.  she needs to have the body of a woman because if she doesn't she will eventually perish.

Quote from: regina
I think you should worry more about your own truthfulness and less about others.

i concord. :)

i agree, although i need to be without a penis, more than i need a perfect vagina. ofcourse i need a vagina, but its secondery to loosing this thing which hurts me in the mirror and when showering :(
R :police:

Well, first of all, I can have perfectly wonderful sex without orgasms.  I left the concept of somehow equating sex with orgasm behind long ago.  Love is a far more important ingredient to great sex than orgasms are.  But beyond that, while a functional clitoris facilitates orgasms, it is not an absolute requirment.  With the proper practice orgasms can result from alterative stimulation.  The brain is the most important sex organ in the body, not what's between your legs.  For example, some of the most delightful orgasms can result from nipple stimulation alone.

lets not forget, where vagina may fail, buttsechs will prevail! :P

R :police:

Regina, you don't want a clitoris too?

I am shocked. Anyway, wow, that feeling I had down there today...if that is all there is, I am totally happy camper.

Actually, Elizabeth, those that value sex a lot, or at least the possibility of having sex and orgasms the most, tend to want SRS a lot!! That's particularly the case if they're not interested in gay sex because it would not go with their body image and want to be intimate with men. Often, young TS are that way.

If you don't care about the configuration of organs, but care about the pleasure with your partner more, then its logical that SRS would not be a priority.

Quote from: regina on August 20, 2007, 12:32:39 AM

OMG, they don't include a clitoris in the price when you get a vulva??!! That's so cheap! I don't feel as if I should have to order one separately.

ciao,
Gina M.

Okay, that was funny.  ;D  But just to be fair, there are some women who opted to have SRS with some butchers; hence, they didn't obtain the results they wanted or needed (lack of clitoris, excessive labial tissue, severe scarring, not enough vaginal depth, etc).  It is always possible to construct a clitoris after the initial operation, but the odds to get one that works is another story.  :-\

tink :icon_chick:

It matters very little to me.  Of course the whole sex thing matters very little to me either.  SRS to me just represents feeling right about my entire body.

Quote from: Dennis on August 19, 2007, 05:28:13 PM
Nope, I could view the results as well. It's only fair seeing as you said women only :P

Might be some sort of a staff privilege. I can't see the results, which is kind of annoying as I don't really consider it right and proper to answer this poll (since I no longer seriously consider SRS).

  Nfr

What's most important to me is being able to get naked without being embarassed.

Quote from: regina on August 20, 2007, 12:32:39 AM

Quote from: melissa90299 on August 20, 2007, 12:17:06 AM
Regina, you don't want a clitoris too?

I am shocked. Anyway, wow, that feeling I had down there today...if that is all there is, I am totally happy camper.

OMG, they don't include a clitoris in the price when you get a vulva??!! That's so cheap! I don't feel as if I should have to order one separately.

ciao,
Gina M.

A la carte menu.  Select one from column A, one from column B, and one from column C.

QuoteI would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again.

I chose alternative number 4 because thats how I feel not because it was the right thing to say ::)

Quote from: Karen on August 19, 2007, 03:41:59 PM
I cheated and looked at the results first...

Truthfully, some quadriplegics can be brought to orgasm by fondling the nape of the neck, thus pointing out that orgasms happen in the brain, not the genitals.

I said in another thread that I'd want to be fully orgasmic and sexual, but would still do SRS even if there were no chance for (genital stimulated) orgasm.

As to Rachael's question about voting for no orgasm, there is no way to test or verify the assertion.  We have to take it on faith that a portion voted their real feelings, and another portion voted on I'm-holier-than-thou motivation...  The ratio is a matter of debate.

Karen

There was always that episode of House that made me wonder that. Like, this burn victim was unconscious, but the area in his brain that determined what was pain and what was pleasure had like been damaged or something, so he was experiencing constant full-body orgasm where the burns were (entire skin). I've always wondered...Well first of all if this were an accurate idea, but more what that would feel like.

But yeah. I still haven't honestly chosen yet. I don't really wanna go with 4 to just be, "PROPER TRANSEXUAL DEEER". That would just be conforming without much thought. Like I would go with 4, but part of me thinks that there has got to be a better way to distribute nerves in the new vagina (if thats part of it). I wanna be a satisfied customer dammit. I think, obviously that it is more important to feel comfortable in the body you are in all the time, rather than a couple of sweet seconds. It would make sense though, that the only reason for lack of orgasm, weren't nerve damage, but more disorientation perhaps? You aren't used to that new thing there, so maybe it's so new your brain doesn't know its own sensitivity yet. Theres many reasons likely. I would miss my orgasms, but honestly I think its a distraction. I think to me, they are more like crutches to keep the monotony away, or hormone regulating things. Its the, "STOP BEING HORNY AND GET ON WITH THE WORK" thing sometimes. I consider it "number 3" seriously a lot of the time. Its just an inconvenience in some ways. Of course, this is being very optimistic, and assuming that I wouldn't linger over the fact. I do think being comfortable in my body would keep me happy for a long time though. Maybe the simplicity would actually help. Its like theres less to conquer with yourself, no going back to square freaking one again. Herein lies the question.

If complexes can enrich you, or complicate, like the orgasm, is it more worth it to embrace the complexity or to cast it aside and accept that which makes life easier? I guess it depends on the complex. Orgasms seem to be a duality. BEH. I rant. ;D

#4 Being asexual, orgasms have never played an important part in my life.  I have managed to live without sex for many decades and dont think surgery will change that.  I am not doing surgery for the sex or the sexual partners I could attract after GRS.  I am doing it to be me, without the horrid parts.

Blanche, many of us here are asexual.  I am.  It's sad that the world has such a misunderstanding of us.  They believe that we do this so that we can legally have sex with men.  They definitely have no clue.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 05:56:11 AM
Blanche, many of us here are asexual.  I am.  It's sad that the world has such a misunderstanding of us.  They believe that we do this so that we can legally have sex with men.  They definitely have no clue.

Cindi

Reminds me of a comment I read.  "If having sex with another woman is what makes you a lesbian, I guess I'm too busy to be a lesbian."

I'm post op.  Before GRS I had 0 sex drive.  I prefer it to being horny all the time. I can think better without all of those thoughts of sex running through my brain.

Before GRS I understood I may never have an orgasm again but I didn't care.

I *can* have an orgasm now by doing it myself but not all the time.  No big deal for me.  Haven't tried sex with someone else yet.  I need to be in love with someone before I'll do it.  Haven't met anyone I really like yet.

I chose option #4
I am pre-op 1 1/2 months to go. I am a wild and sexy kind of girl now and I hope none of that changes.

Keira is right on the mark.

You have to train you brain to recognize all of your pleasure zones. There are many. Atleast with me there are.

Deb

I voted for option 4.  I don't give a damn about orgasms.

Oh, I care about orgasms; just not enough to be able to skip SRS.

I would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again

My first priority was FFS; now that I've accomplished that, my priority is GRS.  Neither orgasms nor sex were or are important to me.  I dont give a bloody hell about them.

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 05:56:11 AM
Blanche, many of us here are asexual.  I am.  It's sad that the world has such a misunderstanding of us.  They believe that we do this so that we can legally have sex with men.  They definitely have no clue.

Cindi

Yes Cindi, it's a terrible pity.  I'm usually asked if I'm pansexual when I tell peeps that my sexual orientation is asexual.  There's still plenty of ignorance in the world when it comes to subjects relating to sexuality and gender.  I'm often dumbfounded at the ignorance of some peeps.

Quote from: Blanche on August 23, 2007, 05:07:18 AM
I'm usually asked if I'm pansexual when I tell peeps that my sexual orientation is asexual.

Tell them the 'A' stands for "Abstinent". ;)

Gee! This is a tough one! I need to really think about this one some more. Although erections are very few and far between, I still can get aroused, And when I do, being able to orgasm is still pretty amazing. :-\  So I didn't vote.

Even before I could comprehend what an orgasm or sex was, or realized the majority of people think there's 2 different black & white, north & south opposite genders... I knew I was different somehow and needed to change my body to match my mind, and I came to the conclusion I had to transform myself somehow. In my youth the "what ifs" ran wild, as I stumbled across the "sex change operations" and "SRS", I said to myself, "this if just for you". Later on, I ran into good people like yourselves and knew this would one day be a reality. Orgasms are only a benifit of SRS, and I won't have the mindset of no longer having that ability deter me from my ultimate goal. It's utterly foolish to think this would stop someone determined and hard headed as myself.

No offense.  8)

Aloha Ladies!

It was not the most important factor for me, when I had my SRS. The most important thing for me was to be whole, complete, body and mind. However, I'm happy to report. That I am orgasmic. :o

Please somebody come and take my libido cause I have too much even after 6 years on HRT, hopefully after SRS that will change, I dont want to walk around having orgasm after orgasm. I wouldnt mind being able to produce one when the time is right though.

Sara

what will my post op sex life be like? hopefully includeing sex! (unlike now)
if i did end up not being able to orgasm, its not the end of the world, plus, theres still tons of pleasure.... and the fact that your shareing something deeply personal with a lover....
R :police:

I feel so diffrently than so many of you.....

When I started transition I had allmost no sex drive what so ever...  After HRT that changed... I had one, it was totaly diffrent than what little there was before...  I'm that girl who goes home at the ned of the night, after being flirted with who NEEDS to take a very cold shower to cool off...

Being sensate is very important to me, so much so that Im willing to wait allot longer and spend twice the money to have it done by a pro wth an overall better track reccord here in NA than travle over seas to save money...  Seriously... if a decently sensate final product wasnt available Id just go for a nullification and save myself a HUGE amount of money...

I'm the type in a relationship who is all about pleasure for there partner, but at the same time I tend to fall for people who are the same way...  Imagne the sheer furstration and sadness involved if the final product just didnt do anything for me?  Id be annoyed, and my partner would be anoyed, and its really hard to be comfortable with someone when your constantly frustrated and anoyed with eachother......  Thats my personal take... So be it...  Im Diffrent from the rest, and Im proud of it  :)

Well, I can respect those who feel that orgasmic ablility is not important. I do not think them to be prudish or anything like that, though I do think that some of those feelings stem from typical female sterotypes placed on woman to shun their sexuality not to mention the popular beliefs that we are somehow sexual devients for wanting to be ourselves.

I my years of taking the "People in hell want icewater" approach to my trans-issues, I have had sex with women. The entire time, I wanted to be the woman that I was with. Whenever I see sex scenes in movies or read them in books or comics, I feel that tinge of pain inside at the realization that I will never have that, just like when I am in clothing shops or see women dancing in clubs with men. It is all a part of being a human. The loss of sexual sensation would be somthing that would take serious consideration for me. Even if I am alone for the rest of my life.

Though, the point is somewhat moot seeing as the prostate remains regardless, if you want one that badly, it is there.;p

Quote from: Karla B on August 23, 2007, 04:32:21 PM
Gee! This is a tough one! I need to really think about this one some more. Although erections are very few and far between, I still can get aroused, And when I do, being able to orgasm is still pretty amazing. :-\  So I didn't vote.

That's one of the reasons for this poll. I wanted to know how others felt, what risk they'd be willing to take, and also to make people think about the possiblity of orgasm loss with SRS and whether that's something they could handle or not. With any genital surgery, there is a risk of that.

Posted on: August 26, 2007, 02:50:30 PM

---

Quote from: Kara on August 26, 2007, 01:43:46 PM
Though, the point is somewhat moot seeing as the prostate remains regardless, if you want one that badly, it is there.;p

True. I of course don't know what it feels like, but from what I hear it's similar to a vaginal orgasm.

I voted #1  :P

:) So I guess I am the only different one posting here lol   :D

I live full time, but without HRT, surgery, any thing.

Orgasms are Uber important to me and my GG GF.  I never plan to take that aspect away, I really enjoy it.

I am really wondering if there are any TS's out there that acually try and plan to keep there genitic genitals, and the full ability to use them.  Please tell me I am not the only one.

As much harder as life is to pass without these adders I find it all worth it.

In retrospect though I guess there are more TS like me, but the only ones I have ever seen are pornstars!!! and who knows how real that all is.

QuoteIn retrospect though I guess there are more TS like me

Maybe you are not TS but TG.

Quote from: lisagurl on November 20, 2007, 03:22:45 PM

QuoteIn retrospect though I guess there are more TS like me

Maybe you are not TS but TG.

Not for me to judge but that does sound like a distinct possibilty.

on old Benjys scale... your type 4 tg.... (iirc) Ts want the chopjob...
R :police:

I seriously doubt I will orgasm after SRS as I ever did before.  I still want it.  I want to be sensitive though.  I really want a quality SRS.  BTW  Hi Melissa90299.  Its Angela  we met at the Dr's office 3 weeks ago, I was with my mother.  You told me about this website.  Im still recovering at home from the surgery.  I lost your number call me if you still have mine or e mail me.  I'm trying to stay in touch with everyone I met. This website wont let me e mail you and I have just given up on it.  Anyway take care and I hope things are going well.

Ella

tbh, i know some folk who have amazing orgasms post op. so ill wait and see..
R :police:

Quote from: Ella on November 20, 2007, 05:01:39 PM
I seriously doubt I will orgasm after SRS as I ever did before.  I still want it.  I want to be sensitive though.  I really want a quality SRS.  BTW  Hi Melissa90299.  Its Angela  we met at the Dr's office 3 weeks ago, I was with my mother.  You told me about this website.  Im still recovering at home from the surgery.  I lost your number call me if you still have mine or e mail me.  I'm trying to stay in touch with everyone I met. This website wont let me e mail you and I have just given up on it.  Anyway take care and I hope things are going well.

Ella

Oh my, I tried calling you, I just can't wait to see you!

Just post ten times (?) and you will give PM rights.

Quote from: lisagurl on November 20, 2007, 03:22:45 PM

QuoteIn retrospect though I guess there are more TS like me

Maybe you are not TS but TG.

Ok dont take me wrong here, and maybe I am wrong but here is how I have always understood it.

We are all Transgendered even Crossdressers, that is the main category.

the Sub categorys are CD and TS. The extent to which your ->-bleeped-<- takes you.

I have always considered myself TS because of the distinct need to live fulltime.

Also I have many read many definitions of TS that do not denotate the need for SRS or any other surgery for that matter.
I have always felt that was misunderstood about the def Transsexual.

Again maybe I am just wrong. But even this very site seems to support that as the title of the whole site is the Transgender forums, and it sub categorys are CD and TS.  Maybe there is something I am missing.  thanks for every 1's help

trans is the umbrella
cd dress to express thier 'feminine side' or some other reason
tvs have a sexual fettinsh with dressing
the andrognyne band (says the it on the tin)
Transexuals - those who dont fit with thier birth body, and change it to become that of the oposite sex, thats complete...
transGENDER is sortof your dont want to go whole hog... non op, non hrt, etc...
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on November 21, 2007, 07:28:32 AM
trans is the umbrella

Quote from: Rachael on November 21, 2007, 07:28:32 AM
transGENDER is sortof your dont want to go whole hog... non op, non hrt, etc...
R :police:

I always thought TG itself was the umbrella term.  I guess its a little of both.  We're all TG, just as much as when you don't identify any other way, TG covers everything else.

well Trans is the new umbrella as adopted by the uk national lgbt...

and personally im not transgender... my gender is perfectly fine :P im a girl, in a girlISH body now :P my gender is perfectly fine, and will be aligned finally eventually :P
R :police:

I really disagree i think Transgender is the umbrella,  If you break it down into its latin roots, your a transgender.

CD need to express ones feminity
TS Need to express ones feminity ALL THE TIME
TV need to express ones feminity sexualy

Is something I could agree upon for this post though however I have seen it viewed by alot of sites as

Please read the below taken from the WIKI

In the 1960s Harry Benjamin and others started working with people showing transvestite behaviour again. Trying to press transvestite behaviour into a two-gendered framework produced a very significant result: transsexualism. Unlike Hirschfeld, who had tried to find a social space where third-gendered people could live the way they needed or wanted, people showing other-gendered behaviour now were forced to find a way of living as "proper men" or "proper women". And if a person could not be "cured" of transvestite behaviour, it seemed the best to make them "change sex". Those who refused or were refused this "cure" were labeled either homosexuals or sexual fetishists.

Since transsexual people had and sometimes still have to "prove" that they are not "just transvestites" to get access to medical treatment, people who see themselves as transsexuals occasionally discriminate against anything they see as "transvestism" even more strongly than the public in general.

Today, some people still associate homosexuality, transvestic fetishism and transsexualism with transvestism both alone and in various combinations.




So this will probally piss a few off, so bear with me, I am not meaning to be rude I just seek understanding with all my fellow girls in this community for the sake of acceptance and non predjuduce

SO ALL IN ALL why is it that people like me are labeled transvestic fetishism, just cause I dont wanna cut off my penis, and choose to maintain the abilty to orgasm, as well as my full ability to think the way I always have (non HRT) after all this way of thinking is what I regarded made me happy with the fact that I am a TG/TS whether it is considered male or female ( I consider my self 50%female, 50%  male)


Really I feel more and more every day that there is a NEW CLASS of TS that needs to be taken into account.

IF YOU FEEL:

More than or equal to 51% Female and 49% male you are a TS
More than or equal to 51% Male and 49% female you are a CD

No what about those that search there souls for years and really decide there are 50/50.

WHAT ARE WE and why is it that I feel I am always being labeled TRANSVESTIC FETISHISM

+1 VOTE FOR : I would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again.

i vote #4, orgasm would be nice but to feel whole is whats more important to me in the long term.

maragirlygirr... um, a lot of what you posted is old views....
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on August 18, 2007, 03:02:47 PM
to be honest, id rather have my cloths fit right, and not have this thing even if i was left with a smooth flat area and no vagina...
orgasmic ability doesnt bother me too much. it would be nice. but id need a guy first! afterall, ive still got buttsechs if all goes pearshaped :D
R :police:

I agree and feel the same way about it as you do Rachael. 

As this is an international support web site we use the generally accepted terms that are used with regards to the Transgender community, with Transgender being the umbrella term that includes TS, TV, CD, IS, Androgyne, etc, etc.

Different countries may or do use different terms or use the defined terms differently.

Steph

Quote from: Steph on November 21, 2007, 11:57:29 AM
As this is an international support web site we use the generally accepted terms that are used with regards to the Transgender community, with Transgender being the umbrella term that includes TS, TV, CD, IS, Androgyne, etc, etc.

Different countries may or do use different terms or use the defined terms differently.

Steph

words from the wiki admin thank you, I thought so also.

Quote from: maragirlygirr on November 21, 2007, 09:20:56 AM
TS Need to express ones feminity ALL THE TIME

IMHO, that's still really more appropriate of CDrs. Crossdressing fulltime doesn't make one a transsexual. Most diagnostic definitions for being a transsexual require a discomfort with one's male body, not just the male clothes.

Being transsexual, IMHO, has nothing to do with needing to be feminine, yet everything to do with being FEMALE.

~Kate~

I voted the fourth option. Sex is of no concern to me whatsoever.

Quote from: Kate on November 21, 2007, 01:09:08 PM

Quote from: maragirlygirr on November 21, 2007, 09:20:56 AM
TS Need to express ones feminity ALL THE TIME

IMHO, that's still really more appropriate of CDrs. Crossdressing fulltime doesn't make one a transsexual. Most diagnostic definitions for being a transsexual require a discomfort with one's male body, not just the male clothes.

Being transsexual, IMHO, has nothing to do with needing to be feminine, yet everything to do with being FEMALE.

~Kate~

Agreed thank you.

Ive seen it presented as to be a transexual is to basically to have GID as well, but I believe that one does nessecarily prove true, I belive it is possible to need to be female, yet have no desire for surgery to correct the one difference between the two.

I guess what i am trying to say,

Is what category would a individual with the NEED to live, breath, act as they are in thier mind FEMALE, yet has no desire to correct the given birth genitals. As that is the only thing that does not make me "Female".

Third gender maybe

Quote from: maragirlygirr on November 21, 2007, 09:20:56 AM
TS Need to express ones feminity ALL THE TIME

Quote from: Kate on November 21, 2007, 01:09:08 PM
IMHO, that's still really more appropriate of CDrs. Crossdressing fulltime doesn't make one a transsexual. Most diagnostic definitions for being a transsexual require a discomfort with one's male body, not just the male clothes.

I think saying that we need to express our femininity "all the time" is a rather narrow concept as well.  I've made earlier arguments about the hyper-femininity of CDs, etc so I won't remake them here, but I for one would like to avoid pigenholing all TSs in to wannabe Barbies.

I think the core of any animosity between CDs and TSs lies in the fact that CDs see altering their gender presentation as a weekendesque hobby; where most, at least in my experience, TSs will tell you its like being able to breathe again.

I think we're both (both sides) looking for freedom of expression, but what exactly that means to each of us has never been clearly agreed on.

Posted on: November 21, 2007, 03:07:42 PM

---

Quote from: maragirlygirr on November 21, 2007, 01:57:32 PM
Is what category would a individual with the NEED to live, breath, act as they are in thier mind FEMALE, yet has no desire to correct the given birth genitals. As that is the only thing that does not make me "Female".

There is a guy near me, this was featured in the weekly "alternative" paper, who found a surgeon in Europe willing to do GRS "off the books".  He freely admits he never saw a therapist, never took hormones or lived at all as a woman.  The cost of his surgery?  $6,000.

I'd imagine he has little more then a hole left for only $6,000.  His presentation is nothing close to female.

Moral of the story?  Its not just about the genitals.

As for labels, does it really matter?  All I've seen labels do is segregate us.  The cisgender world does that just fine, they don't need our help.

i agree, being female, is nothing to do with ones femininity or masculinity... i know some really masculine ts girls, who are nothing but women.
and some really feminine ts girls who are nothing but male... its a fine line. and being male or female is the key to TS... not how one expresses that... i was at the pub tonight, with my two best friends. all 3 of us drinking beer. all 3 in baggy jeans and hoodies, no makeup, hair in ponytails just passing the time. masculine? maybe, not very feminine? sure. but i challenge you to say any of us 3 are not female. or even pick the one without the right genitals...
R :police:

Quote from: Kirstie on November 21, 2007, 09:57:13 PM
I want to have sex like a woman really bad! Thats my main reason for wanting SRS!

??? i thought the main reason for wanting grs was severe gid & not sex.

Quote from: Katia on November 21, 2007, 10:38:44 PM

Quote from: Kirstie on November 21, 2007, 09:57:13 PM
I want to have sex like a woman really bad! Thats my main reason for wanting SRS!

??? i thought the main reason for wanting grs was severe gid & not sex.

Yeah that is the right reason, sex should not have anything to do with it, that would acually be tranvestic fetishism.

As for the above post above yours!!!  NO!  They cannot do that in fact as it has been described to me by some girlfriends (TS)  you have to train yourself to even have a orgasm, the physical friction to pleasure thing isnt even there its all in your head from then on.

Please take a minute to do some research before you go on with GRS or SRS PLEASE maybe you will find out you are not nessecarily right for those surgerys.. If a biological orgasm is that important to you be careful what you wish for.

Quote from: Kirstie on November 21, 2007, 09:57:13 PM
I want to have sex like a woman really bad! Thats my main reason for wanting SRS! But yes I would have to eat a gun and break my teeth which Im fixing so that wouldnt work! What do you mean eat a GUn!
I want Orgasims really bad! Isnt it the best feeling in life you can have!Apparently women peak higher when they Orgasim than men! Thats what I want!
Can they make that happen or will it be like a Guys orgasim quicker and not as high!
Any way I cant wait to get a womans genitals!

the detachment from 'correct genetals' to 'a womans genetals' is interesting, and trust me, you wont get natal female sexual performance suddenly post grs, different on some accounts, maybe, but not perfect.
Orgasms the best feeling in life?
imo these are better:
Love
kissing someone you love
a good book
chocolate
bubble baths
spending time with true friends
being in bed

orgasms are nice, but you cant phone one up when your sad, or tell it your dreams... as ive said before, id settle for smooth flat flesh if i had to, because kissing and cuddling with someone i love beats sexual gratificiation hands down...
R :police:

Well Im stuck with the 4th option anyway, I had the SRS operation 20years ago, never really had an orgasm but it never bother me, more guys got more pleasure from my vagina than I ever did, I'v absolutely no interest in sex, but the strange thing is if a guy has a ground breaking orgasm in me its very satisfying for me as a woman, in my case its all about satisfying the guy, my femininity is my asset.
But I much prefer a guy to give me a bunch of pink roses, tell me Im pretty and just make me feel special, thats better than all the sex in the world, now that really works for me.

Nail
Head
hit it on the....
R :police:

Quote from: Kirstie on November 23, 2007, 12:01:46 AM

none of us are women anyway!
well not real women!

us?  speak for yourself please.  if you believe you arent a "real woman", be my guest but dont suggest that i fall into your definition of whatever a "real woman" may be.

Kristie,

Transsexuals are as much real women as any other woman on EARTH probally much more so.
I say this for the pure fact of Mentality:

TS really know truly that in thier minds they are WOMEN, most GG dont even know or feel that!!!!

Kristie It is very possible that you are much more like I am a 100% of the time Crossdresser, not all of us are inclined to have SRS.

AND please never be ashamed to have sex they way you are, I mean if you cannot stand your boi parts then it is possible that you are a true TS, But let me assure you that even ME who will never have SRS, FEELS like a REAL women.

RACHEAL,

Im giving you a PLUS 1 on reputation.

thank you for telling it how it is!!!

Mara

I'M PROUD AS A SPECIAL PERSON THAT I AM, WE AREN'T SO MANY ON THE PLANET EARTH ON BOTH HEMISPHERES!!!

SO IF I WANT MY SRS I DON'T CARE IF DOWN THERE IT IS A FLAT - FLAT - AND ONLY FLAT SKIN (as already someone mentioned already).

Quotenone of us are women anyway!
well not real women!

I was born a women with physical defect.

bingo... thats all there is to it... ive NEVER been a boy... ive never thought like one, felt like one, been able to honestly call myself one.. Ill be honest, i sucked at being a guy, i had no life, no friends, no love life, ive blossomed since transition, im happy, free vaugely pretty, and popular. I dont honestly give a flying toadstool if i can never have another orgasm... Sex doesnt rule my life, or matter that much, Love, i want and need. But love doesnt require sex, something that seems to be forgotten thesedays. Love is friendship, but better... i want to settle down with my best friend in the world (when i find him), and be his wife. The cuddling, closeness, and generally spending time together is FAR better than sex could ever be (yeah virgin).
R :police:

Rachael
Im only a newbie here, but your reply is probably one of the best I'v ever read here, I came out at 16, fulltime at 18, then after some surgery and really fulltime at 21, it was 7years till I had SRS, even now I find it hard to look at some of the yutube graphic footage on this board, in the end there was no other way, I had to have SRS to feel complete, nothing to do with sex, for heavens sake, but to be complete as a woman, as I said in my other post, if I satisfy a guy sexual, I feel fullfilled as a woman, partners I'v been with have seen me as a real woman, but I'v no interest in sex, I just want to be cuddled and loved by a real man, you go girl go, with your attitude you will find Mr Right.
P

Quote from: Katia on November 23, 2007, 01:50:04 AM

Quote from: Kirstie on November 23, 2007, 12:01:46 AM

none of us are women anyway!
well not real women!

us?  speak for yourself please.  if you believe you arent a "real woman", be my guest but dont suggest that i fall into your definition of whatever a "real woman" may be.

Ditto

Quote from: Butterfly on November 23, 2007, 01:25:08 PM

Quote from: Katia on November 23, 2007, 01:50:04 AM

Quote from: Kirstie on November 23, 2007, 12:01:46 AM

none of us are women anyway!
well not real women!

us?  speak for yourself please.  if you believe you arent a "real woman", be my guest but dont suggest that i fall into your definition of whatever a "real woman" may be.

Ditto

Ditto, ditto

It is not a matter of wanting GRS, I need it.  I will get it against all odds. I don't have orgasms. I can't while I am within this skin.  It doesn't feel right.  It is more painful than pleasurable.  So to me, I dont care.  I just need GRS, everything else isn't important.

Quote from: melissa90299 on November 24, 2007, 10:04:27 AM

Quote from: Butterfly on November 23, 2007, 01:25:08 PM

Quote from: Katia on November 23, 2007, 01:50:04 AM

Quote from: Kirstie on November 23, 2007, 12:01:46 AM

none of us are women anyway!
well not real women!

us?  speak for yourself please.  if you believe you arent a "real woman", be my guest but dont suggest that i fall into your definition of whatever a "real woman" may be.

Ditto

Ditto, ditto

Ditto, ditto, ditto!
oh hangon  i see where this is going ><
R :police:

At my age having female orgasms is a bonus.  ;D Well at least I aint dead yet.

Cindy

Quote from: cindybc on November 24, 2007, 08:44:39 PM
At my age having female orgasms is a bonus.  ;D Well at least I aint dead yet.

Cindy

that was cute & funny cindy :) :laugh:

It is said that when Dom Perignon, the unintentional inventor of sparkling wine tasted his brew, he exclaimed, "I am tasting the stars!"

Orgasms in this female's body are a bit beyond that.  They are quite pleasurable and most addictive, and I am pre-op.

I have tasted the stars but I know that I might lose that ability.  Making my outer person to be congruent with my inner person, female-to-female, is what I have sought.  I'll take more orgasms if available.

Wing Walker
Having Southern Comfort, so to speak

I've never been really interested in sex at all.  Sorry.

Like many of you,I chose #4.

Prior to having my orchi, I did a ton of research and many people told me that I would never be able to orgasm again. At that point, removing my body of a body part that was generating what I felt was toxic poison was far more important than me experiencing sexual bliss.

My body is now free of the body parts and I can still enjoy intercourse. It's different, don't get me wrong, but in the end I've found that my orgrasms are far more powerful, even if they are harder to come by.

I view SRS in much the same light...

Sex? can live without it, the love of my mr right? well, thats more important to me than any momentery experience....
plus this should so go in the community myths topic... theres hardly any loss with surgery thesedays...
R :police:

Quote from: Rachael on December 24, 2007, 01:29:54 PM
Sex? can live without it, the love of my mr right? well, thats more important to me than any momentery experience....
plus this should so go in the community myths topic... theres hardly any loss with surgery thesedays...
R :police:

Nearly everything you wrote I agreed with in this thread.  The closeness to somebody is much more attractive then sex for me.  Though you can add in woman as far as partners with me since I am well bi.  Sex and orgasmic ability.  Not really important at all.  Being able to feel right in a relationship is more important.

A big part of SRS is being comfortable with my body, I will admit the physical dysphoria is there with me.  But it is FAR from sexual in nature.    Sexual orgasms, I can care less about.  I am more after something else in a relationship anyway, and nearly everything you described so far...well is pretty much exactly how I feel.  At least I feel I am not the only one who thinks that way anymore. 

Greetings Everyone,

Quote from: Rachael on December 24, 2007, 01:29:54 PMSex? can live without it, the love of my mr right? well, thats more important to me than any momentery experience....
plus this should so go in the community myths topic... theres hardly any loss with surgery thesedays...
R :police:

I agree with this completely. While it is nice to be able to have an orgasm, it's not the end-all, be-all. My relationship with my partner is more important than that...

Peace and love,
Isabelle St-Pierre