Ladies only: How important is orgasmic ability vs desire for SRS?

[Fer]

I would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again.

I chose alternative number 4 because thats how I feel not because it was the right thing to say

[deviousxen]

I cheated and looked at the results first...

Truthfully, some quadriplegics can be brought to orgasm by fondling the nape of the neck, thus pointing out that orgasms happen in the brain, not the genitals.

I said in another thread that I'd want to be fully orgasmic and sexual, but would still do SRS even if there were no chance for (genital stimulated) orgasm.

As to Rachael's question about voting for no orgasm, there is no way to test or verify the assertion.  We have to take it on faith that a portion voted their real feelings, and another portion voted on I'm-holier-than-thou motivation...  The ratio is a matter of debate.

Karen

There was always that episode of House that made me wonder that. Like, this burn victim was unconscious, but the area in his brain that determined what was pain and what was pleasure had like been damaged or something, so he was experiencing constant full-body orgasm where the burns were (entire skin). I've always wondered...Well first of all if this were an accurate idea, but more what that would feel like.

But yeah. I still haven't honestly chosen yet. I don't really wanna go with 4 to just be, "PROPER TRANSEXUAL DEEER". That would just be conforming without much thought. Like I would go with 4, but part of me thinks that there has got to be a better way to distribute nerves in the new vagina (if thats part of it). I wanna be a satisfied customer dammit. I think, obviously that it is more important to feel comfortable in the body you are in all the time, rather than a couple of sweet seconds. It would make sense though, that the only reason for lack of orgasm, weren't nerve damage, but more disorientation perhaps? You aren't used to that new thing there, so maybe it's so new your brain doesn't know its own sensitivity yet. Theres many reasons likely. I would miss my orgasms, but honestly I think its a distraction. I think to me, they are more like crutches to keep the monotony away, or hormone regulating things. Its the, "STOP BEING HORNY AND GET ON WITH THE WORK" thing sometimes. I consider it "number 3" seriously a lot of the time. Its just an inconvenience in some ways. Of course, this is being very optimistic, and assuming that I wouldn't linger over the fact. I do think being comfortable in my body would keep me happy for a long time though. Maybe the simplicity would actually help. Its like theres less to conquer with yourself, no going back to square freaking one again. Herein lies the question.

If complexes can enrich you, or complicate, like the orgasm, is it more worth it to embrace the complexity or to cast it aside and accept that which makes life easier? I guess it depends on the complex. Orgasms seem to be a duality. BEH. I rant.

[Blanche]

#4 Being asexual, orgasms have never played an important part in my life.  I have managed to live without sex for many decades and dont think surgery will change that.  I am not doing surgery for the sex or the sexual partners I could attract after GRS.  I am doing it to be me, without the horrid parts.

[cindianna_jones]

Blanche, many of us here are asexual.  I am.  It's sad that the world has such a misunderstanding of us.  They believe that we do this so that we can legally have sex with men.  They definitely have no clue.

Cindi

[Lisbeth]

Blanche, many of us here are asexual.  I am.  It's sad that the world has such a misunderstanding of us.  They believe that we do this so that we can legally have sex with men.  They definitely have no clue.

Cindi

Reminds me of a comment I read.  "If having sex with another woman is what makes you a lesbian, I guess I'm too busy to be a lesbian."

[TreeFlower]

I'm post op.  Before GRS I had 0 sex drive.  I prefer it to being horny all the time. I can think better without all of those thoughts of sex running through my brain.

Before GRS I understood I may never have an orgasm again but I didn't care.

I *can* have an orgasm now by doing it myself but not all the time.  No big deal for me.  Haven't tried sex with someone else yet.  I need to be in love with someone before I'll do it.  Haven't met anyone I really like yet.

[debisl]

I chose option #4
I am pre-op 1 1/2 months to go. I am a wild and sexy kind of girl now and I hope none of that changes.

Keira is right on the mark.

You have to train you brain to recognize all of your pleasure zones. There are many. Atleast with me there are.

Deb

[Jeannette]

I voted for option 4.  I don't give a damn about orgasms.

[Melissa]

Oh, I care about orgasms; just not enough to be able to skip SRS.

[Butterfly]

I would have SRS even if told I would never have another orgasm again

My first priority was FFS; now that I've accomplished that, my priority is GRS.  Neither orgasms nor sex were or are important to me.  I dont give a bloody hell about them.

[Blanche]

Blanche, many of us here are asexual.  I am.  It's sad that the world has such a misunderstanding of us.  They believe that we do this so that we can legally have sex with men.  They definitely have no clue.

Cindi

Yes Cindi, it's a terrible pity.  I'm usually asked if I'm pansexual when I tell peeps that my sexual orientation is asexual.  There's still plenty of ignorance in the world when it comes to subjects relating to sexuality and gender.  I'm often dumbfounded at the ignorance of some peeps.

[Melissa]

I'm usually asked if I'm pansexual when I tell peeps that my sexual orientation is asexual.

Tell them the 'A' stands for "Abstinent".

[Karla B]

Gee! This is a tough one! I need to really think about this one some more. Although erections are very few and far between, I still can get aroused, And when I do, being able to orgasm is still pretty amazing.   So I didn't vote.

[Christine Eryn]

Even before I could comprehend what an orgasm or sex was, or realized the majority of people think there's 2 different black & white, north & south opposite genders... I knew I was different somehow and needed to change my body to match my mind, and I came to the conclusion I had to transform myself somehow. In my youth the "what ifs" ran wild, as I stumbled across the "sex change operations" and "SRS", I said to myself, "this if just for you". Later on, I ran into good people like yourselves and knew this would one day be a reality. Orgasms are only a benifit of SRS, and I won't have the mindset of no longer having that ability deter me from my ultimate goal. It's utterly foolish to think this would stop someone determined and hard headed as myself.

No offense. 

[Lianne]

Aloha Ladies!

It was not the most important factor for me, when I had my SRS. The most important thing for me was to be whole, complete, body and mind. However, I'm happy to report. That I am orgasmic.

[Sara]

Please somebody come and take my libido cause I have too much even after 6 years on HRT, hopefully after SRS that will change, I dont want to walk around having orgasm after orgasm. I wouldnt mind being able to produce one when the time is right though.

Sara

[Rachael]

what will my post op sex life be like? hopefully includeing sex! (unlike now)
if i did end up not being able to orgasm, its not the end of the world, plus, theres still tons of pleasure.... and the fact that your shareing something deeply personal with a lover....
R

[LynnER]

I feel so diffrently than so many of you.....

When I started transition I had allmost no sex drive what so ever...  After HRT that changed... I had one, it was totaly diffrent than what little there was before...  I'm that girl who goes home at the ned of the night, after being flirted with who NEEDS to take a very cold shower to cool off...

Being sensate is very important to me, so much so that Im willing to wait allot longer and spend twice the money to have it done by a pro wth an overall better track reccord here in NA than travle over seas to save money...  Seriously... if a decently sensate final product wasnt available Id just go for a nullification and save myself a HUGE amount of money...

I'm the type in a relationship who is all about pleasure for there partner, but at the same time I tend to fall for people who are the same way...  Imagne the sheer furstration and sadness involved if the final product just didnt do anything for me?  Id be annoyed, and my partner would be anoyed, and its really hard to be comfortable with someone when your constantly frustrated and anoyed with eachother......  Thats my personal take... So be it...  Im Diffrent from the rest, and Im proud of it 

[Kara]

Well, I can respect those who feel that orgasmic ablility is not important. I do not think them to be prudish or anything like that, though I do think that some of those feelings stem from typical female sterotypes placed on woman to shun their sexuality not to mention the popular beliefs that we are somehow sexual devients for wanting to be ourselves.

I my years of taking the "People in hell want icewater" approach to my trans-issues, I have had sex with women. The entire time, I wanted to be the woman that I was with. Whenever I see sex scenes in movies or read them in books or comics, I feel that tinge of pain inside at the realization that I will never have that, just like when I am in clothing shops or see women dancing in clubs with men. It is all a part of being a human. The loss of sexual sensation would be somthing that would take serious consideration for me. Even if I am alone for the rest of my life.

Though, the point is somewhat moot seeing as the prostate remains regardless, if you want one that badly, it is there.;p

[Nero]

Gee! This is a tough one! I need to really think about this one some more. Although erections are very few and far between, I still can get aroused, And when I do, being able to orgasm is still pretty amazing.   So I didn't vote.

That's one of the reasons for this poll. I wanted to know how others felt, what risk they'd be willing to take, and also to make people think about the possiblity of orgasm loss with SRS and whether that's something they could handle or not. With any genital surgery, there is a risk of that.

Posted on: August 26, 2007, 02:50:30 PM

Though, the point is somewhat moot seeing as the prostate remains regardless, if you want one that badly, it is there.;p

True. I of course don't know what it feels like, but from what I hear it's similar to a vaginal orgasm.