Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Good afternoon guys and dolls, and welcome to Nero's Not-so Pointless Poll for the Day!

How important to you is orgasmic ability vs desire for SRS?
How much risk of loss of orgasm would you be willing to take for any kind of SRS (includes phallo, meta, and clit release)?

Would you only have SRS if guaranteed orgasmic ability in writing?
Would you be willing to take only a small risk (if most patients retained orgasmic ability)?
What if the risk were 50/50 for loss of orgasm?
Would you have SRS if you had to sign a paper confirming your understanding that you would never experience another orgasm again?

Gentlemen only please. Ladies poll here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,17994.msg138984.html#msg138984
Elaboration on your vote is desired but not mandatory.



^{This informative poll was brought to you by our sponsor 107.6 N.E.R.O. Bringing you the best in inspired rants and informative polls non-stop, every hour on the hour with no commerxial breaks.}

I'm somewhere between none and small risk. Voted small risk. I don't care right now about bottom surgery, but I could see myself getting a meta someday because that risk is pretty small if performed by a good practitioner. After what happened to my friend getting a phallo, any thoughts I had about that being a possibility are out the window.

The parts I have work fine, my girlfriend likes em, so I don't feel too much of a need for any surgery at the moment, although I don't particularly like the look of 'em.

Dennis

I refrained from voting, because I'm not really planning on getting any kind of bottom surgary.   IF I were to go that route, it would be for reasons I guess so important that I'd be willing to take some risk the loss of orgasm. 

Personally though, I have to echo what Dennis said... it's working fine, and no one's complained.  Between what's in my toybag, and what's between my ears, I've got all the equipment I need, and the original parts still bring me good things.

I'd have preferred my original equipment was something different, but oh well... I'll stick with what I got.   :-\

Scott

only small risk.  sex's hella important for me.  dont wanna have phallo but wanna have a hysto & meta in da futture.  metas risks not that high.  wanna look ok down there.  take a shower with all the dudes, locker room stuff, u dig?

Quote from: Chris on August 19, 2007, 04:30:30 AM
only small risk.  sex's hella important for me.  dont wanna have phallo but wanna have a hysto & meta in da futture.  metas risks not that high.  wanna look ok down there.  take a shower with all the dudes, locker room stuff, u dig?

Exactly....

However for me I would o for 50/50 as I have never orgasmed myself... so I wouldn't really miss it.. if I could never have it

What Dennis said.

I voted small chance.  Orgasmic ability is very important to me, but a meta by a good surgeon doesn't seem too risky (from what I've read).  And I second Chris--looking alright in the locker room would be awesome (I don't care too much if it's small, just so it's passable and I don't have to worry about my towel falling off).  But heck, at this point, I'm just looking forward to growing *something* down there...

This is really interesting to see the difference between the guys and the women in their answers concerning this question.  I am fascinated.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 01:19:53 AM
This is really interesting to see the difference between the guys and the women in their answers concerning this question.  I am fascinated.

Cindi

Personally, I suspect a primary reason for the big difference in responses is 1) the difference in cost & effectiveness of the two different types of bottom surgery; and 2) the psychological difference between dealing with an unwanted penis vs an unwanted vagina.

If the bottom surgery for FTMs were less expensive and more effective, then perhaps folks would be more willing to get it, despite some orgasmic risk.  As is, it just isn't as attractive an option for us as it is perhaps for MTFs.

More important, mentally and emotionally speaking, I suspect that it's simply easier to deal with a vagina than a penis...  I can always pack if I want, and there are lots of options in terms of sexual matters.  On the other hand, if I had an unwanted penis, I suspect it would be very intrusive.  I can but imagine that every time a MTF looks down and sees this 'thing' there, it must be a horrible reminder that their body doesn't match their gender.

I could be off on this guess, but hey...  anyway, I'm thinking that these factors could be a large part of the reason why MTFs would be much more willing to risk loss of orgasm than FTMs are.  Just my gut hunch... 

Scott

Scott,

I was thinking about the desire for intimacy.  In many of the mtf responses, sexual pleasure was at the bottom of the priority list.  In this poll, with the few responses so far, pleasure seems much more important.

It is curious.  It really is.

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 05:36:26 AM
Scott,

I was thinking about the desire for intimacy.  In many of the mtf responses, sexual pleasure was at the bottom of the priority list.  In this poll, with the few responses so far, pleasure seems much more important.

It is curious.  It really is.

Cindi

Just men being men, Cindi!  ::)

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Tink on August 21, 2007, 07:57:11 PM

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 05:36:26 AM
Scott,

I was thinking about the desire for intimacy.  In many of the mtf responses, sexual pleasure was at the bottom of the priority list.  In this poll, with the few responses so far, pleasure seems much more important.

It is curious.  It really is.

Cindi

Just men being men, Cindi!  ::)

tink :icon_chick:

Tink wins.

Dennis

Quote from: Dennis on August 22, 2007, 01:41:21 AM

Quote from: Tink on August 21, 2007, 07:57:11 PM

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 05:36:26 AM
Scott,

I was thinking about the desire for intimacy.  In many of the mtf responses, sexual pleasure was at the bottom of the priority list.  In this poll, with the few responses so far, pleasure seems much more important.

It is curious.  It really is.

Cindi

Just men being men, Cindi!  ::)

tink :icon_chick:

Tink wins.

Dennis

lmao :laugh: :icon_dance:  wooohooo

Quote from: Chris on August 22, 2007, 01:52:38 AM

Quote from: Dennis on August 22, 2007, 01:41:21 AM

Quote from: Tink on August 21, 2007, 07:57:11 PM

Quote from: Cindi Jones on August 21, 2007, 05:36:26 AM
Scott,

I was thinking about the desire for intimacy.  In many of the mtf responses, sexual pleasure was at the bottom of the priority list.  In this poll, with the few responses so far, pleasure seems much more important.

It is curious.  It really is.

Cindi

Just men being men, Cindi!  ::)

tink :icon_chick:

Tink wins.

Dennis

lmao :laugh: :icon_dance:  wooohooo

LOL... indeed!   I bow to the superior reasoning of the Ladies, and the realization of our inherent nature. 
(So much for intellectualizing the male sex drive!)   >:D

Scott

Haha I'm on the only one so far to vote 'I'd have SRS even if told I would never orgasm again.'

I don't care much for the pleasure factor. The last relationship I was in ended because I couldn't stand the idea of sex in any form. I've masturbated ONCE and that was because I was in a violence/sex mood, Doom didn't want to work on my computer so I looked up some porn and couldn't help myself after about half an hour of watching it. I haven't really had the desire to do it since, and the desire to participate in sexual acts is few and far between. Of course, this probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm pre-T.

Regardless of that though, I desperately want something 'down there'. I would settle for a meta if that was the absolute only thing on offer, but ideally I'd want a phallo that I could at least pee out of and looks mostly 'real' if you know what I mean. I've been told by the director of the clinic I'm going to though that is no FTM bottom surgeon willing to perform any surgeries in the country anymore. So I guess it'll either be a long time or a lot of money until I get what I ultimately need.

QuoteAbsolutely none! If I couldn't orgasm, I'd eat my gun.

This made me laugh. Is it a double entendre, or what?

I'm 50/50 on it, only because sex isn't important to me and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do in terms of lower surgery. I want to be as physically male as possible, it's necessary for my well-being, but with the increased sex drive T has given me, I feel like it would be difficult to not even be able to jerk off and release that tension? Eugh, too much info there, but there you go. I could get past it, it would just be very difficult for me at first.

Gosh, its such a tricky decision isnt it?
I voted for "Small risk". Although I do go back and forth. Id love the surgery to be no risk, but theres always the potential.
Ive got this decision to make soon as my next phalloplasty stages will include what to do with the "mini/original" penis. It can be left accessible in the testicle area, or moved and "buried" within the shaft of my phallus. In a way I sway toward leaving it accessible, atleast I know I could still orgasm, but I dont want anything to look odd. Sure, itll get some stimulation during sex, but not as much as if its within the phallus. So then I sway to having it buried. Once everything is done, nothing would look out of the ordinary if its buried, and sex will create better erotic feeling through it. But what if its not enough? (Insert my hopes for the nerve hookup work).
Sex is very important to me. I love the intimacy with that one person and sharing with them, but if I could have a limited version of this - with no climax, Id feel forever frustrated, not being able to fully be sexually satisfied. Id just be teetering on the edge and boy would that drive me crazy. My sex drive has always been high and I cant imagine never being able to relieve that.

Ive heard that the majority of men post phalloplasty can still have great orgasms, but I have to acknowledge the risks. So in this sense, I put that Id accept  a small risk.
      Also, with the V-nectomy, this can effect orgasm. However, this part of the surgery is a 100% must for me. Id accept 50/50, or even signing that paper! I myself have an extremely strong view on that down there, and I will never feel whole, or safe untill its sorted so Id be willing to take any risk.
   Maybe I should have voted for 50/50 risk, thinking more about it....

Anyhu, thats my opinion.

Quote from: Make_It_Good on September 03, 2012, 01:25:51 PM
Anyhu, thats my opinion.

I agree with everything you've said here, including the v-nectomy part. That goes without question; I couldn't live the rest of my life with that thing there. But I do love sex, and for me, pleasure and ultimately orgasm (for both partners) are a part of that.

I will consider absolutely no risk. Even if the procedure came with a 0.01% risk I would not find that acceptable. It's all or nothing for me, so I choose nothing, it's fine the way it is.

I'd have SRS even if it meant never having an orgasm again, but only if the end result of the SRS was mostly indistinguishable from a cisgendered person's dick.
Edit: and if I could afford it.

Quote from: Edge on September 03, 2012, 04:11:33 PM
I'd have SRS even if it meant never having an orgasm again, but only if the end result of the SRS was mostly indistinguishable from a cisgendered person's dick.

IMO a lot of the phallos are (indistinguishable) at this stage, particularly the ones done by the London team. But I've never seen a penis in real life so I can't be the best judge of such things.

Quote from: edderkopp on September 03, 2012, 04:44:42 PM
IMO a lot of the phallos are (indistinguishable) at this stage, particularly the ones done by the London team.

Yep, that's why I become so enraged when people ->-bleeped-<- talk the results of bottom surgery.  If you don't like how they look don't get one, but don't put your dislike out there so intensely.

I've always been an "all or nothing" sort of person, myself, so I'd waver between no risk and small risk.  Technically, everything I do has some risk of going wrong and I take those risks willingly--but this is something for which I wouldn't really have much of a safety net, so I'm a good bit more wary about that.
If I examine my options more closely in the future and "small risk" with overall favorable results looks like a realistic possibility, I may consider it.  For now, I'll stick with the "nothing", as there are much more certain things for me to get out of the way first.

Quote from: Andy8715 on September 03, 2012, 04:47:03 PM
Yep, that's why I become so enraged when people ->-bleeped-<- talk the results of bottom surgery.  If you don't like how they look don't get one, but don't put your dislike out there so intensely.

I think there is a lot of ignorance. If you just google "phalloplasty" you will find a lot of older results. Not that there was anything wrong with them in and of themselves - but in terms of aesthetics and function, they have come a long way, and most people don't realize that. I personally found out about the current results from a guy here who did a lot of research, and wouldn't have known better otherwise, until I was consulting surgeons on my own.

For me, SRS is pretty much required for me to be able to feel fully and truly comfortable with myself. I think we tend to forget that these people who post their pictures are real human beings, who have gone through a lot of pain and effort just to be able to live their lives. And they are sharing their results with others so that those of us who do feel SRS is a requirement can have hope and see what options are out there. Not everyone has to take them, but some do, and those who do choose it because they would be suffering otherwise.

Quote from: Jeatyn on September 03, 2012, 04:04:25 PM
I will consider absolutely no risk.

+1 on this.

I wonder if being on T has any influence on guys' answers... Before T I was satisfied with just pleasing my partner during sex and having the occasional masturbation orgasm. Now I don't feel satisfied with sex unless I have an orgasm and normally find myself feeling the need to orgasm at least once daily, with partner or without!

Quote from: edderkopp on September 03, 2012, 04:44:42 PM
IMO a lot of the phallos are (indistinguishable) at this stage, particularly the ones done by the London team. But I've never seen a penis in real life so I can't be the best judge of such things.

That's pretty cool. Still out of price range, but hopeful.

Quote from: edderkopp on September 03, 2012, 04:44:42 PM
IMO a lot of the phallos are (indistinguishable) at this stage, particularly the ones done by the London team. But I've never seen a penis in real life so I can't be the best judge of such things.

Yeah there are some really good looking ones out there! And I guess you could make it look even more realistic by getting colour and a bit of detail tattooed on. I voted for "I'd have SRS even if told I would never orgasm again." I definitely want to get bottom surgery one day!

Quote from: Andy8715 on September 03, 2012, 04:47:03 PM
Yep, that's why I become so enraged when people ->-bleeped-<- talk the results of bottom surgery.  If you don't like how they look don't get one, but don't put your dislike out there so intensely.

I actually wish I could see the results, but I have only seen the older photos. I am sure the science has gotten much better, since I have heard a lot of positive things from folks who have gone through it.

Quote from: edderkopp on September 03, 2012, 04:44:42 PM
IMO a lot of the phallos are (indistinguishable) at this stage, particularly the ones done by the London team. But I've never seen a penis in real life so I can't be the best judge of such things.

That's awesome! Now if I could find some photos. The research begins! Though, I will probably never be able to afford it. But, always good to know all my options.

But, its a tough call for me. I'm gay so I would want something that is firm enough for anal, and from my understanding all they have is either sleeves or a rod. I'd like to be able to feel the action, so eh to the sleeve and I have heard the rods have to be replaced semi-frequently, which makes it less appealing. Overall, I am focused on top surgery first. I can re-evaluate in terms of money, healing, time and if I find a good surgeon after that. But, the twin chest lumps are going, and that will not be debated. *glares down* Your days are numbered...

As for sexual function - I would prefer to have function, sure. If I weren't married, I probably wouldn't care so much, but it seems a little mean to potentially lose my own sexual function when my husband already feels bad for getting "one-sided" pleasure (even though its always because I offer). I wouldn't want to put him through that sort of mental torture of I can't get mine so he is a terrible lover. He is mean enough to himself. So, I do take that into consideration. But that's just me.

I chose small risk.  If I see that a lot of the patients retain their erotic pleasure then that's good enough for me.  There will always be exceptions but I honestly cannot see myself living with the anatomy that I have currently for the rest of my life.  I can rarely get myself off because my mind doesn't match my physical anatomy and I don't want to spend the rest of my life going through that.   If for some reason I lose my function then I would be pissed but at the same time I would have known the risks.  I just have to make sure I do my part by chosing a surgeon that I feel would be best suited for me and try to be in the best health I can be in to minimize complications.

Don't give half a s**t about being unable to orgasm. I can't live with what I have now.

Andy and Edderkopp *checks spelling...*I completely agree with the last points you guys have made.
The majority of accessible results on the internet (whats public anyway, Im not including through private groups) is pretty outdated. And this can mean even as little as 10 years. The techniques are improving quickly, as surgeons learn from their own and others' work. The next stage of mine, which includes urethral work, is being done differently to how they did it I think, even as little as 5 years ago (give or take, done quote me on that...).
  Alot of it is people just not realizing it gets better than what is shown. But it does! :p

Quote from: Ayden on September 03, 2012, 07:25:21 PM
I actually wish I could see the results, but I have only seen the older photos. I am sure the science has gotten much better, since I have heard a lot of positive things from folks who have gone through it.

I have said on another thread (but maybe you missed it...) that Ive compiled a bunch of recent results by different surgeons onto a Word document. It shows the different techniques and work by a variety of surgeons across the world.
So if you are interested, message me your email address and I can send it to you.

At the risk of TMI, I have been orgasming from a young age, so yeah, you could say that retaining the ability to orgasm was paramount.  I wouldn't eat my gun over it, but it was extremely important.  In the end I chose meta for a lot of reasons, the main ones being for me it was a 1-step surgery, low risk of not orgasming, lower cost, and closure of the hole.

I can honestly say that my orgasms are still excellent. They have changed somewhat, though it has been too long since before to tell you exactly what, though.  They are still very intense.

I will say that having gender-normative junk, even if very small, has made a HUGE difference in my psyche. Yes, I can pee at a urinal, but mostly sit (peeing at toilets requires more control and if I'm not careful I can create an embarrassing situation for myself).  But reaching down and feeling penis and balls is something I dreamed about since I was 4 years old.  Seriously.

That said, I'd defnitely choose a surgeon with a good track record.

Edited to add: yes, post-op results can look fantastic, but remember that took YEARS of procedures and healing time to look like that.  Look at all the top surgery pics floating around.  Most are from 1-3 months post op, and fewer 5+ years out.  Healing changes a LOT.

And my tiny dick, FWIW, passes physicals.


Jay

Personally I like being able to orgams, so I wouldnt really sacrify those for not orgasm,
But on the other hand I already sacrificed parts of my sexual desires already.

I had great sexual sensations in my nippels and did sacrificy those at top surgery, even if I got part of the sensation back I dont think it will ever be the same. its not like I regreat it cause I really hated having boobs, but I hate how I lost some sensations and I think I also would hate losing sensation downstairs..

so well.. I do sacrifyse part of me sexually, when I feel it to be nessesarry, But I dont want to secrifice it all..

Orgasm is very important to me.  I chose the second option.  I look forward to the day when I can afford lower surgery or have it covered under insurance.  Still thinking about getting a meta but phallo is looking more and more attractive.

Also, what an incredibly old thread!

Even though I know that with the phallo i want, almost all cases retain sensation and the ability to orgasm, i'd say i'd want it even if i couldnt. I currently can't get off at all during sex because of dysphoria. I can orgasm when i masturbate, but id rather have a dick than be able to cum when i jerk off.