Day to day we all get people who are a bit too forward with questions. The one I hate the most is when someone asks you what your boy name was.
My least favorite is, what do your genitals look like :-X
I don't like it when people ask me how my kids dealt with my transition.
Seriously...
Maybe I should get a t-shirt that says "Ask me about my genitalia."
I get that too. People asking about my genitals. Had one lady at a shop actually put her hand there, I pushed her down and left the store, the nerve of people.
People keep asking me about the breast implants they assume I'll be getting.
"Have you seen that film/TV show about the trans woman who..."
Mood swings...
I hate the then why did u get married
Duh. I had no idea why I felt this way I was trying to be a guy
No internet I got married in 1982
Dodie
"Do you have, you know, that time of the month when you're all bitchy?"
What, like right now, buster?
Quote from: Eveline on March 08, 2015, 06:09:07 PM
"Do you have, you know, that time of the month when you're all bitchy?"
What, like right now, buster?
I've gotten that one too. [emoji1]
I haven't been asked any rude, stupid or insensitive questions (yet!). The most common thing I got at the time of transition was that I was "very brave"... guh. I'd usually counter by saying it had nothing to do with being brave and everything with remaining sane, then for some reason I'd start talking to them about trans men.
Quote from: Jill F on March 08, 2015, 05:01:56 PM
Seriously...
Maybe I should get a t-shirt that says "Ask me about my genitalia."
OMG! Jill!!!!!!(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F916369696%2Fask_me_about_my_genitals_hoodie.jpg%3Fcolor%3DBlack%26amp%3Bheight%3D460%26amp%3Bwidth%3D460%26amp%3Bqv%3D90&hash=cd1304bf3860d4cd79cd34c90188b9f53bd73cef)
http://www.cafepress.com.au/+ask_me_about_my_genitals_hoodie,916369696?utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=hoodies&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=cpc-product-ads-au&utm_content=916369696
I think we'll end way faster asking for the intelligent questions people ask you when you're trans.
By the whay, that hoodie seriously rules.
Quote from: Ms Grace on March 08, 2015, 11:45:01 PM
I haven't been asked any rude, stupid or insensitive questions (yet!). The most common thing I got at the time of transition was that I was "very brave"... guh. I'd usually counter by saying it had nothing to do with being brave and everything with remaining sane, then for some reason I'd start talking to them about trans men.
OMG! Jill!!!!!!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F916369696%2Fask_me_about_my_genitals_hoodie.jpg%3Fcolor%3DBlack%26amp%3Bheight%3D460%26amp%3Bwidth%3D460%26amp%3Bqv%3D90&hash=cd1304bf3860d4cd79cd34c90188b9f53bd73cef)
http://www.cafepress.com.au/+ask_me_about_my_genitals_hoodie,916369696?utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=hoodies&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=cpc-product-ads-au&utm_content=916369696
And the womens shirt, ofc:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi3.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F916369703%2Fask_me_about_my_genitals_plus_size_tshirt.jpg%3Fcolor%3DBlack%26amp%3Bheight%3D460%26amp%3Bwidth%3D460%26amp%3Bqv%3D90&hash=d586cd777fdd9f0e1b3ae34ee024550a5adb2aaf)
"Are you sure you're not just gay?"
My fiancee's own mother asked me this when I came out to her. I really should've worded my reply a little better, but I think "If I were gay would I be nailing the hell out of your daughter?" really drove the point home...me and my big mouth though.
And the LOLscar goes for...
Quote from: StrykerXIII on March 09, 2015, 01:33:29 AM
"Are you sure you're not just gay?"
My fiancee's own mother asked me this when I came out to her. I really should've worded my reply a little better, but I think "If I were gay would I be nailing the hell out of your daughter?" really drove the point home...me and my big mouth though.
Nailed it (pun intended ofc).
Quote from: Wednesday on March 09, 2015, 01:45:13 AM
And the LOLscar goes for...
Nailed it (pun intended ofc).
I've said it before and I'll say it again - forums need a "like" button for posts.
Hi,
Depends on how you see things and how open you are to your self and others and being a little different , plus when you tell every one through TVNZ nation wide the net and papers plus the many groups , and gave talks about ,
.....Whats it like being different and being a female .....
i had very few ? s because i told them first hand , for the Heading = noel to noeleena =
Those who have known me over 57 years never asked a thing and they knew me well enough to remain my neat friends one or two had some lovely ?s and we talked about more than just whats it like being different ,
as youll gather im very open to people and have a good repore and i enjoy my time talking with them and iv been privileged to be so open in my time explaining much about why im like this way ,and i tell people dont ever feel embarrised in asking ,
So in my case im very much a PR person and invite people into my life to enjoy who i am and so they can feel comfortable being around me ,
i know for many they wont a private life and not have to talk and explain them selfs ,i understand that and i dont /wont expect others to do what i do or go where i go, or be involved with the many 1000s of people as i do . and its not for every one ,
To me its lovely its neat and just so great to be able to do it ,
...noeleena...
- So do you have female or male parts? (x1000 infinite times)
- Do you have boobs?
- Do you have a penis?
- Are you getting the surgery?
- Is that a wig?
- Are you sure you aren't gay?
- How do guys react when you tell them?
- So am I gay if I like you?
- So, do you like boys now?
- Is transitioning painful?
I get asked what my girl name is because I currently don't pass well.
"So are you like still into chicks?" from one of my former so-called friends.
I absolutely hate it when people ask what my guy name was. It has nothing to do with me anymore, I was never that person to begin with so why should you know it?
(1) How did you get your voice like that? (This is by far the question I get asked most. It's just my natural speaking voice.).
(2) Well, I'm sure you could still sing bass if you wanted to. (Nope. And I never could. Yet for some reason, because I am trans*, I had someone try to recruit me to sing bass in their vocal ensemble.)
(3) So how long since you had "the operation." (Usually from medical professionals. I like to ask them what operation they mean and explain there is no single "the operation." That always makes them squirm.)
(4) How long have you been post op? So you're post op, right? (This is the version trans* people ask me. I usually respond that my private parts are called private for a reason. It seems cis people are not the only ones who need to learn that lesson).
(5) So where do you go to the bathroom? (I usually respond by asking them where they think I'd go to the bathroom. So far they have inevitably said the ladies room. I respond by smiling and saying, see? It's not so hard.).
(6) So what was your name before you . . . changed? (Actually I haven't changed much at all.)
Quote from: ThePhoenix on March 09, 2015, 09:33:27 AM
(6) So what was your name before you . . . changed? (Actually I haven't changed much at all.)
"Irrelevant"
Quote from: jeni on March 09, 2015, 09:38:13 AM
"Irrelevant"
I had no idea people could still get names like that!
"What is your real name?" - Allison is my real name, it even says so on my Driver's License and Social Security card.
"When did you get your boob job?" or "How much did your boob job cost?" - I didn't... it's amazing what estrogen and a push up bra can do.
"How do you have sex?" Unless you intend to take me to dinner and a movie, none of your damn business.
Quote from: jeni on March 09, 2015, 09:38:13 AM
"Irrelevant"
For some reason, I usually get that question while I'm standing around after having given a presentation about trans* issues. It's the question I'm usually asked by the audience member, but they won't ask me in the open Q&A. I'm not very sensitive about my "professional stage name," as I used to call it. And since I'm usually trying to build a relationship and/or teach, I will usually answer it and then use it as a teachable moment. So I end up saying something like:
"I'm here to educate, so it's okay to ask me a question like that. But ask yourself why the question matters. It really is a pretty personal and intrusive question, but it really is irrelevant. And if you ask other trans* people that, they will see you treating them as objects of curiosity and less than real. That is not a good way to respect a trans* person, and it can really be harmful to one who is in a vulnerable space."
Since I've been doing this mainly with antidiscrimination enforcement agencies lately, the explanation of vulnerability is very important. A lot of trans* people are pretty wounded by the discrimination they experience, but they refuse to report anything to anyone because they fear how they will be treated.
what really ticked me off was that my friend , who is an LGBTI activist and is one of the letters in LGBTI, asked me that question, saying she prefers to know everything about her friends
Quote from: melanie maritz on March 09, 2015, 10:13:14 AM
what really ticked me off was that my friend , who is an LGBTI activist and is one of the letters in LGBTI, asked me that question, saying she prefers to know everything about her friends
I got asked the question about my private parts and surgery by a trans* person who is among the country's more notable trans* activists. It blew my mind having to explain to her that the issue of my genital configuration was not really an appropriate topic at the dinner table. (Yes, she really did bring it up over dinner!!).
Sorry. I really have a thing about genital questions. I'm very much of the Carerra/Cox school that we need to take focus away from that and put it elsewhere. And honestly I'm just sick of the whole topic. Even when the surgery topics come up in trans groups where it is more appropriate, I ave to admit I just end up zoning out and tuning them out.
And now I'm going to quit writing posts because I've got to go pick someone up.
The name question irritates me as well. Though, by far the strangest question I was asked came from the first doctor I saw when I was starting my transition. He asked me to tell him what kinds of feminine things I did, adding: "for example, do you cook or clean?".
Just thought of a response to what is your genitals. Umm my biggest sexual organ is my brain so you guess. Ok not really an answer but.
Oh yes. I remember another one.
"If you're a woman, then why don't you dress like one?"
I was repeatedly asked this by the same trans woman on different occasions. Sorry I'm not trying to be "super-feminine" enough for you, but I don't really feel like wearing a dress or heels right now. Drop it. Besides, I don't even have any clothes from the men's section anymore. Women can wear t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers too.
I think the way questions are phrased and how they are asked is important. An honest curiosity with no malice or judging behind it really doesn't bug me. But if it sounds like people are just going to find fuel to be judgy, yeah, that would get old quick.
Quote from: StrykerXIII on March 09, 2015, 01:33:29 AM
"Are you sure you're not just gay?"
My fiancee's own mother asked me this when I came out to her. I really should've worded my reply a little better, but I think "If I were gay would I be nailing the hell out of your daughter?" really drove the point home...me and my big mouth though.
That was brilliant!!
**still laughing**
Quote from: Wynternight on March 09, 2015, 05:01:43 PM
That was brilliant!!
**still laughing**
Pretty typical response for me...I am, if naught else, a smart***
I hate the genital question and I give anyone that asks that quite a look of disgust.
One that is just dumb is "how can you give up being able to fix stuff" from someone that apparently thinks that me being trans means that the ability to fix things is somehow eliminated in the process.
And the one where they ask if you're interested in participating in their little "experiment" to find out something sexual about themselves. That always got a quick no answer followed by their embarrassment once they realize that they are a huge tool for even asking.
Quote from: marsh monster on March 09, 2015, 05:13:18 PM
...One that is just dumb is "how can you give up being able to fix stuff" from someone that apparently thinks that me being trans means that the ability to fix things is somehow eliminated in the process....
For goodness sake, don't convert to Judaism at the same time! My Sweetie's family are notorious for being helpless with tools.
I got this one from my grandmother...
"But...you like girls. And cars. You like building things, and fixing things...are you going to give all that up?"
Oh, I'm sorry, miss 1950s-picture-perfect-housewife, I didn't realise women weren't allowed to like women, cars, building, or fixing.
I can't necessarily blame her for that...my grandfather WAS, admittedly, the kind of man who preferred his women "barefoot n' pregnant"...but still.
I've been asked more than once how I was able to have girlfriends when I was trans and then I have to get into a long explanation of how gender identity and sexual orientation are totally different things and that my sexual orientation seems to be aligning with that of a hetero woman the longer I'm on HRT.
Or I tell them to piss off. Depends on my mood.
TBH the thing I hear most often is "hiya Rosie, good to see you again. How are you?"
Rosie
One I literally just got:
"Wait, you're LGBT? But you listen to metal?"
I'm sorry, what did you expect me to listen to? RuPaul? Boy George? You know Rob Halford of Judas Priest is gay, right? *slams face into desk so hard the desk breaks*
Quote from: StrykerXIII on March 09, 2015, 06:50:28 PM
One I literally just got:
"Wait, you're LGBT? But you listen to metal?"
I'm sorry, what did you expect me to listen to? RuPaul? Boy George? You know Rob Halford of Judas Priest is gay, right? *slams face into desk so hard the desk breaks*
Some of my favorites:
"Do you still play guitar then?"
"Will you still jam with me?"
"Can you still fix my guitar?"
Trust me- nothing is more metal than being trans. \m/
Quote from: Jill F on March 09, 2015, 06:58:18 PM
Some of my favorites:
"Do you still play guitar then?"
"Will you still jam with me?"
"Can you still fix my guitar?"
Trust me- nothing is more metal than being trans. \m/
Amen to that, sister! People seem to think transwomen don't have their own "metal girls" subtype like ciswomen do. Ohhhh yes we doooooooo!
Quote from: Jill F on March 09, 2015, 06:58:18 PM
Some of my favorites:
"Do you still play guitar then?"
"Will you still jam with me?"
"Can you still fix my guitar?"
Trust me- nothing is more metal than being trans. \m/
Graahl from freaking Gorgorth is gay and the singer/guitarists for two classic grindcore bands have transitioned!! Idjits!! \m/
*tunes guitar to drop C* \m/ (-|-) \m/
Some of my other faves:
Wife's drunken co-worker: "So those are like implants?"
Me: "No, how about yours? Awk-ward..."
Him: "Did you like just wake up one day and suddenly just need to be a woman?"
Me: "No, I always kinda knew."
Him: "That's a relief. I was afraid it could happen to me someday."
Me: "I have girl cooties. I could be contagious..."
QuoteHim: "Did you like just wake up one day and suddenly just need to be a woman?"
Me: "No, I always kinda knew."
Him: "That's a relief. I was afraid it could happen to me someday."
Me: "I have girl cooties. I could be contagious..."
LOL, that was really funny.
Quote from: Jill F on March 09, 2015, 07:42:41 PM
"I have girl cooties. I could be contagious..."
Cough on him! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: Jill F on March 09, 2015, 07:42:41 PM
*tunes guitar to drop C* \m/ (-|-) \m/
Some of my other faves:
Wife's drunken co-worker: "So those are like implants?"
Me: "No, how about yours? Awk-ward..."
Him: "Did you like just wake up one day and suddenly just need to be a woman?"
Me: "No, I always kinda knew."
Him: "That's a relief. I was afraid it could happen to me someday."
Jill thanks for cracking me up.....
From a good friend yesterday and I love her.. actually my first girlfriend from High School.. she asked.. do you have any regrets? I had to sit there for a second and think about it and I did the logical thing.. thought what it was like to not be myself and said, no I have no regrets at all.. and she said.. Thats awesome!!
She is a big support for me..
Dodie
Me: "I have girl cooties. I could be contagious..."
Quote from: Jill F on March 09, 2015, 07:42:41 PM
Him: "Did you like just wake up one day and suddenly just need to be a woman?"
Me: "No, I always kinda knew."
Him: "That's a relief. I was afraid it could happen to me someday."
Me: "I have girl cooties. I could be contagious..."
OMG...... seriously?! That's crazy lol
Quote from: StrykerXIII on March 09, 2015, 07:01:07 PM
Amen to that, sister! People seem to think transwomen don't have their own "metal girls" subtype like ciswomen do. Ohhhh yes we doooooooo!
More than most would think. Tattoo artist, prior service and guitarist here. :D
I had someone ask me the other day I'd my breast implants were real...
I didn't know if it was a trick question or not so I just answered yes.
Quote from: natalie19 on March 11, 2015, 11:32:54 AM
I had someone ask me the other day I'd my breast implants were real...
Yeah. I'd hate to have FAKE breast implants.
Quote from: Rotika on March 11, 2015, 05:40:41 AM
More than most would think. Tattoo artist, prior service and guitarist here. :D
Guitarist, bassist, vocalist, and all-around heavy metal bad girl here! ;D
Quote from: StrykerXIII on March 11, 2015, 12:13:14 PM
Guitarist, bassist, vocalist, and all-around heavy metal bad girl here! ;D
Guitarist, vocalist in punk and metal bands since my teens, prior EMS and public safety. \m/
Quote from: Wynternight on March 11, 2015, 01:49:22 PM
Guitarist, vocalist in punk and metal bands since my teens, prior EMS and public safety. \m/
See? Being trans is totally metal.
It's also new wave, classical, and bubble-goth.
just so long as it ain't country...
Is it trance, ambient, trip-hop or acid jazz?
Maybe it's more like prog metal? Yes, that's it, prog metal.
Someone did ask me this:
Ex-bandmate: "Do you still listen to metal, or are you into girly stuff now?"
Me: "Girly stuff like thrash or girly stuff like Sabbath?"
Quote from: allisonsteph on March 09, 2015, 09:56:26 AM
"How do you have sex?" Unless you intend to take me to dinner and a movie, none of your damn business.
Hahaha. That is unreal. I can't believe some of the questions asked. I'm sorry you have had to hear that.
One thing that people ask me is if I know some other trans person. Like we travel in packs and hang out in forums or something.....the nerve!
Quote from: natalie19 on March 11, 2015, 09:09:28 PM
One thing that people ask me is if I know some other trans person. Like we travel in packs and hang out in forums or something.....the nerve!
All of us know each other. We have a secret handshake and decoder ring!
"Your whole personality has changed. Is that on purpose?"
I was at a loss for words, and then the moment for a snappy reply was gone...
Quote from: Wynternight on March 11, 2015, 09:45:13 PM
All of us know each other. We have a secret handshake and decoder ring!
I don't have a decoder ring. I DO have a borgia ring.
"Are you fully transgendered?"
ffsshh answered:
yes. after years of intensive training my transmentor finally took me to scale mount transgend & as the sun set on the peak we performed the sacred ceremony wherein he bestowed my trans name upon me & said the words i was dying to hear: "tyler, you have proven your ability to transgender is great & i believe you have mastered the ancient art of transgendering. you are fully transgendered"
I just wanted to share this with you guys, It made me laugh sooo freaking hard ;D :D ;D
Quote from: AndreaLinda on March 11, 2015, 10:34:28 PM
"Are you fully transgendered?"
ffsshh answered:
yes. after years of intensive training my transmentor finally took me to scale mount transgend & as the sun set on the peak we performed the sacred ceremony wherein he bestowed my trans name upon me & said the words i was dying to hear: "tyler, you have proven your ability to transgender is great & i believe you have mastered the ancient art of transgendering. you are fully transgendered"
I just wanted to share this with you guys, It made me laugh sooo freaking hard ;D :D ;D
My Master, Trans Li, took me aside one day when all the other students were dismissed and told me, "Your trans fu is strong. Let us see if you can use it."
What followed was an epic battle of makeup, walking in heels, colour coordinating, and hair care. After many hours my mentor said "Enough! I cannot defeat your trans fu! You are the Master now!" I was given the ancient staff of Transness and sent out to trans the world over, drifting like Kwai Chang Caine, only in heels.
Quote from: Wynternight on March 11, 2015, 10:50:44 PM
My Master, Trans Li, took me aside one day when all the other students were dismissed and told me, "Your trans fu is strong. Let us see if you can use it."
What followed was an epic battle of makeup, walking in heels, colour coordinating, and hair care. After many hours my mentor said "Enough! I cannot defeat your trans fu! You are the Master now!" I was given the ancient staff of Transness and sent out to trans the world over, drifting like Kwai Chang Caine, only in heels.
I can't stop laughing! LOL
"Are you fully transgendered?"
...I'm sorry, but I have to let my sarcastic, snarky, smart-alecky personality override common courtesy here.
Yes. I spent many years as a nomad, searching for the fabled Trans-Ri-La. I climbed the peak of Mount Transjiyama, and meditated with the monks of the Order of Gender-Bending. I trained in the art of Trans-Kwan-Do, and quickly rose to the top. I could outshine the most fabulous Gender-beinging monk with little more thank a sultry sigh or a flirtatious wink. A single schoolgirl-giggle from me could rip you to pieces. I learned the art of Fabulosity (that is a real word, you know. It's part of the native tongue of Trans-Ri-La.), becoming a black belt in mere weeks. Be cautious, grasshopper - I am a living weapon of mass sex appeal.
Twice today "Excuse me, do you have a dollar?"
Once today "Excuse me, miss, do you have a dollar?" ;D Yes, I do!
Ironically, it was the same homeless lady all three times!
Quote from: Wynternight on March 11, 2015, 10:50:44 PM
My Master, Trans Li, took me aside one day when all the other students were dismissed and told me, "Your trans fu is strong. Let us see if you can use it."
What followed was an epic battle of makeup, walking in heels, colour coordinating, and hair care. After many hours my mentor said "Enough! I cannot defeat your trans fu! You are the Master now!" I was given the ancient staff of Transness and sent out to trans the world over, drifting like Kwai Chang Caine, only in heels.
Hahahahahahahaha! You must snatch this lipstick tube from my hand, grasshopper.
And yes, we all must clearly know each other. *eyeroll*
In all seriousness, I ran into David Carradine in the checkout line at the grocery store once. He dropped his change, I picked it up and handed it to him, then kicked myself for not asking him to snatch it from my hand.
Oh well, just wait until I put out the movies, "Fill Jill, Parts I and II". :P