This dysphoria is at an all time high and I cant even think straight.... "get hormones get hormones become a woman.....".
Realistically this is a hard situation since Im in Korea where I cant find any doctors who can help me.... and Im too chicken to go to a transclub and ask a "ladyboy" for help.... and theres the language barrier and they think Im a client.
I dont want sex.... to feel like a woman. I am abandoning the logic of dating men at this moment... because no guy here is serious and even if they are they are gay and want me because Im a guy.
So this is leaving me to resort to planning to buy feminine items *4 the first time..... i dont know if this will help"
Wearing gender apropriate apparel made me feel right as a teen. I then ran and hid for 20 something years. But every so often I would find myself wearing something that just, felt better. I was regularly buying women's clothing and not letting myself realize it, all I knew was it felt right. When I decided to finally confront this this past February I did so by ordering just one outfit, one of everything a woman might wear out. Just to test... And it all felt so right, gave my mind such a burst of peace and harmony. I couldn't deny who I was anymore
Now I have accepted myself in full, haven't worn mens clothing, apart from a raincoat, for a couple weeks (most of the past month in fact) and I am ready to go on hrt and have come out as trans to everyone I know I'm not saying taking that step will send you off on the road I am on as we all travel our own paths. But if there is a chance you think some clothes will make you feel more whole or happy, it is a gamble you can't afford not to take.
What's the worst that could happen? :)
Salesclerk thinks Im a weirdo. Thats the worst.
I bought a necklace for my sister a month ago..... but then I thought its my necklace... and the jewelry box is mine too.... they dont help though unless Im losing it (my mind), and i need something to confirm Im female.
Im going out tonight and buying at least 1 female product.
Im so transsexual this isnt even funny anymore. Its crazy almost insane what im doing to myself..... whats holding me back is my family , but i need to look female before i go and tell them..... but im going to tell them one day.
Makes me feel normal... Always has...
L Katy :-*
it made the anxiety go away.
a part of dysphoria that I hadn't realized was affecting me until I started transition is the intense anxiety. I had to quit the last job I had before transitioning because it got to the point where I was having about three panic attacks a week. to console myself after I had to quit, I went out and bought my first dress.
It felt so normal, so natural, that the anxiety dropped out of me like water from a sieve. even nervousness about passing in public was subdued compared to what I felt before, and was swiftly lost as I was getting ma'amed on a regular basis.
I haven't worn pants since.
Quote from: katrinaw on March 17, 2015, 07:56:23 AM
Makes me feel normal... Always has...
L Katy :-*
Precisely..
It stops me from feeling cold, stops people staring at me in the nude. It enables me to have some fun with colours, styles etc.
Just normal...
Quote from: Wild Flower on March 17, 2015, 06:51:04 AM
Salesclerk thinks Im a weirdo. Thats the worst.
I bought some lipstick and eyeshadow yesterday, first time, and picking it out was fun. I wasn't wearing a stitch of men's clothing but the male clerk still said "of course this stuff isn't for you" I told him it was and he was immediately embarassed. I felt so proud of myself for not hiding that his error didn't phase me.
Damn..... Im fearless right now.
Just found out Im doing guard duty right now.... so couldnt buy me any fem products tonight. But I got me a pink drink (peach flavor), my pink bubble gum (floral taste..... yeah Korea has that... it taste like dandelions and roses), and my pink pen....
Dont give a damn right now....
My fav colour is magenta... but pink does the job. Eh. Tomorrow. But otherwise change my phone themes to fem themes....
Women's clothing makes me feel pretty and sexy. It's all I have since I don't pass as of yet but with the help of makeup, I'm getting better. My favorite outfits involve short skirts and heeled boots. Gotta show off my legs :)
Wearing women's clothing brings out a strong feeling of comfort. Not specifically about how the clothes fit, but comfort on the inside. A sense of peace I guess. They are also a lot of fun to shop for and pick out what to wear and all that stuff :P The clothes were for a long time the only outlet for my confusing gender feelings and I revelled in it (in private). Sometimes I just couldn't wait to get home and change into something more comfortable ;) It's funny, most women get home from a long day and can't wait to take their bra off and relax... but I couldn't wait to get home and get mine on lol.
It makes me feel on outside how I feel inside.. a woman.
It feels so natural to wear women's clothes.. I remember the first time I ever dressed fully up in women's clothes.. before that it mainly pantyhose and a skirt...never a full outfit.. I wore a blue winter dress (knee height), black pantyhose and a pair black high heel shoes.. Funny that night was the first time i wore a bra.. too.. That night I went all out.. makeup, shaved my legs.. first time for that too.. I had a cis-girl help me..
I remember the feeling.. when I was getting ready it felt so natural.. like I have been dressing up like this all my life.. I learnt how to apply makeup quickly.. walking in heels came naturally.. like I was meant to be female.. The night was amazing.. i was very comfortable in that dress.. I felt like me for the first time ever...
I know it's not all about the clothes, but when my body looks like a guy, the clothing at least makes me feel somewhat normal. I still stick to jeans and t-shirts. It's just the women's version, which looks pretty close to the men's version. It's just the concept that I'm not dressing in guy clothes I guess.
Used to make me unhappy and depressed cause it didn't fit me. I hated it.
It made me feel like I was finally not trying to put a round peg into a square hole. I was afraid to even go there for 43 years, for fear of the can of worms I might be opening, but I'm glad that I finally did take the path that led me out of hell.
What was I afraid of? Big bad Jill? LOL!
what does women clothing do for me?? omg, is basically my drug. The sensation and comfort that it makes me feel is unmatched. Right now I've been using my female cloth for almost 2 month for more than 15 hours a day, and I haven't felt this alive since ever. (sad, but true) :-* ;D 8)
It just feels comfortable and right to both my body and my mind; where I not only want to be, but belong. The mind rests and rejuvenates, because it constitutes a big portion of your true self made manifest in the physical world. Wearing boys' clothing (those few instances when I still do) feels completely like crossdressing, and not very nice at all.
Quote from: Sabrina on March 17, 2015, 08:55:07 AM
Women's clothing makes me feel pretty and sexy. It's all I have since I don't pass as of yet but with the help of makeup, I'm getting better. My favorite outfits involve short skirts and heeled boots. Gotta show off my legs :)
Showing off when you can't pass? :o
I prefer to hide my legs as that is where more muscle remains on me, not very feminine at all...
Before HRT, female clothing never felt right. Aside from not fitting well, it actually made me more dysphoric the few times I tried it. That is because it made me think more about the male body underneath, and how I knew the body was not me. I never wore it out in public because I did not want to draw attention to myself as a cross-dresser, which I was not anyway. It has always been my belief (to the relief of those around me) that I should not wear anything that does not look right on me. I am not an attractive woman, so I should not dress like one.
HRT made a world of difference by freeing my mind and starting my physical feminization. Now I can no longer wear male shirts because
that feels like cross-dressing and my mind totally shuts down if I do. I noticed (and a female family member confirmed) that I look so much more feminine with the right shirts and that improves my mood and makes me more sociable. I love it now, but it neither felt nor looked right pre-transition.
Buying clothes initially confirmed my gender identity. As I started to figure out what my tastes were, it just made me feel free. Its incredible to be yourself and the clothes are a big part of that. At least for me.
Quote from: marikvulpina on March 17, 2015, 08:18:29 AM
it made the anxiety go away.
I very much find the same thing for me. That, and women's clothes make me look lovely.
Women's clothes make me feel happier, freer--and safer. The safety comes in because I'm naturally androgynous, even leaning perhaps more towards feminine, but I haven't started HRT, so I need to push the balance, so to speak, in favour of visually passing as female. Wearing a little bit of foundation to even out my skin and cover up some beard shadow can be the difference between how I'm read at a glance, and the same goes for clothing. It's never safe being trans* if you're in a place where you might not be accepted, but learning how to push the scales in the direction of being read as female over male can make all the difference in not being harassed for your gender identity. And the more confidence I get, the more I learn how to do less: to wear simpler clothing when going for groceries, to try to get by with less makeup, etc.
And, as much as I love pants, god--the feel of a skirt/dress is just wondrous. It still amuses me how men I don't know will be more likely to hold a door for me or step aside to let me pass if I'm wearing a skirt or dress instead of something else. I don't want to have to conform to any gender stereotypes, but I must admit I enjoy the power women's clothing can give one in certain situations.
The cloths fit better and feels so soft, like a soft hug :)
Mens cloths always bunched up and feel uncomfortable...
Yeah like others say, I feel more relaxed and pretty and just overall better. :D
-Jade
:-*
The most that I have been able to get my wife to accept is a few items of unisex appearing female clothing. I would like to find a way to get her to be accepting of even more feminine items.
I am of average size and should be able to wear most female clothing in large or extra large sizes; medium sizes might even be possible in some items. More options might even be possible if I didn't have that male thing.
I must admit I was aroused once or twice very early on but after that I just felt normal. However clothes that didn't fit made me really unhappy. I then bought my own and found out no one really cared what gender clothes I bought. Now it's just my daily routine and I don't even give it a second thought. I wear what is practical, what is comfortable and what makes me look good.
Nothing. Clothes do nothing for me. Never have. I don't give a ->-bleeped-<- about clothes or products marketed toward one gender or another. To me, it sounds like you have some kind of fascination with something. I really think you could benefit from some therapy. Not everyone with gender atypical behavioural compulsions is suffering from transsexualism. There are a lot of ways for you to enjoy your compulsions without transitioning medically. I'm not saying you aren't transsexual. I am saying you seem very confused and should talk to a therapist about it.
I didn't used to either, but the more I embraced being transgender the more I started to love them. At first it was just going to be dresses, but I wasn't going to go for the shoes. Now I love shoes too. Its funny I'm starting to check out girls not because they're hot, but because OMG look at her outfit (or shoes). I still check them out for being hot, but it seems to be less important than the outfit and shoes.
Quote from: Isabelle on March 17, 2015, 03:53:03 PM
Nothing. Clothes do nothing for me. Never have. I don't give a ->-bleeped-<- about clothes or products marketed toward one gender or another. To me, it sounds like you have some kind of fascination with something. I really think you could benefit from some therapy. Not everyone with gender atypical behavioural compulsions is suffering from transsexualism. There are a lot of ways for you to enjoy your compulsions without transitioning medically. I'm not saying you aren't transsexual. I am saying you seem very confused and should talk to a therapist about it.
^ i do that sometimes too especially hair. Im big into hair though, like its the only beauty accessory that matters.
The hairstyle I want right now is blonde dreadlocks or long witchy red hair.
Or Shania Twains brown hair.
Me too. I've been obsessed with hair for years. I also just colored mine and absolutely love it.
Quote from: Wild Flower on March 17, 2015, 04:01:53 PM
^ i do that sometimes too especially hair. Im big into hair though, like its the only beauty accessory that matters.
The hairstyle I want right now is blonde dreadlocks or long witchy red hair.
Or Shania Twains brown hair.
Maybe it's just my personality but, I've never been able to stand it when people go "ohhhhh my god, shoes!/hair/clothes!... Etc". It isn't normal. It isn't real and it makes me question their intellectual capacity.
:police:
There is no reason to express options in an aggressive way.
Some woman like clothes some don't, women are not defined by what they wear please respect choices.
Cindy
Forum Admin
Quote from: Isabelle on March 17, 2015, 04:15:11 PM
Maybe it's just my personality but, I've never been able to stand it when people go "ohhhhh my god, shoes!/hair/clothes!... Etc". It isn't normal. It isn't real and it makes me question their intellectual capacity.
You're quite particular sweety! ;)
I was talking about people. I never once mentioned women. I'm not being aggressive. I'm being honest. i find affectation distasteful. Especially when it's being used to police human behaviour. All these lovely shoes and clothes and glittery pony toys are a product of post war industrial design philosophy. To this day, it poisons the environment and human culture. It promotes greed, division, slavery, destruction etc. I could go on but, it wouldn't make a difference.
Quote from: Jade_404 on March 17, 2015, 02:55:50 PM
The cloths fit better and feels so soft, like a soft hug :)
Mens cloths always bunched up and feel uncomfortable...
Yeah like others say, I feel more relaxed and pretty and just overall better. :D
-Jade
:-*
I feel you girl! :D
I spend a lot of time recently going over in my mind just how I would like to present at work, my image.
I work at a conservative Enterprise and as such "uniform" clothing or a pseudo clothing cast and behaviors are a reality.
I was at a leadership briefing today. Approximately 80 to 90% are female and 10 to 20% are male. It should be simple but it is not. There are levels within management and the clothing defines roles. When I spoke to an HR ally a month ago she mentioned how I wanted to present. I went over how I saw myself within the organization. She commented and gave some advise, good advise. I perceived myself at a lower level of clothing than did she. There is one level of style higher than I in the Enterprise. So today I looked at those at my level and how they dressed. What I like is there is so much variety and the variety expressed somewhat how that person perceives themselves or want to be perceived.
Clothing at work is an expression of role and status. With woman's clothes it has an added dimension of how they see themselves or want to be seen.
Cynthia, thanks for your post, you made me think. I was worried that I might wear something inappropriate for my station. But I have ambitions too. I had never considered that hierarchal structure before.
Back on topic. Clothes are sometimes a mood elevator for me too. I had a couple of moments at work that left me a bit down so when I got home, before showering, I threw on a skirt while I checked my messages. It brought me back up and I was able to shake some of the negativity out for a bit. Until I got in the shower. But now I have painted my nails so I feel much better!
it just feels right, I can't really explain it, but the first time I put on women's clothing, a cloud of depression lifted just a little bit. I feel less awkward (unless I have made a terrible fashion choice). It is so much about what I feel, its about what I don't feel (awkward, out of place, depressed) for what seems like the the first time in my life. It is mostly positive, but I can also get frustrated. I was trying on clothing yesterday, but i was untucked, I felt I really wanted the butcher knife in my hand at the moment. Fortunately I am not 5 years old, and I understand that I shouldn't slice off the tissue needed to make the right parts in future. I simply feel less awful in women's clothes.
Hi,
When you base happyness on things ,what happens to you when you dont have those things ,
What i hear and see in so many is with out ...THE... clothes makeup shoes and adornments , you and many others dispise your self , so how do you feel about your self as a person for the moment forget this male and female side of the issue ,
where are you in all this look at it this way stand alone no clothes on or adornmenets how do you then feel about your self are you happy in who you are , why so much hate why continuly putting your self down , yes iv heard all the comments and whys and so on ,
So you think just being a or like a woman will solve your problems and issues , or go talk to some one , you are the only one that can make you happy , you are the only one that will make it happen ,
I was percived as a male for many years ,and i never said a thing to any one for some 50 years yet you know what im a female i was female from birth just was a bit different yet i was happy in my self and never wore female clothes unless i was dressed by others ,and i hated male clothes with an all out ...HATE..
.and it still did not make me hatefull of my body or myself ,because i knew my time would come when every thing was in place and ready for my body.s changes and to grow into a woman , i did not become like a woman i became who i have allways been and expressed that at the right time in my life ,,
Thers a time to be born a time to grow and a time to live ,
Okay so you have been born , now have you grown as a person remember this is as i said not about male or female this is about you the person , where are you, i dont hear about you, what i hear is no confidence in you no self assurance of who you are and you seem to be stumbling over the blockades in front of you .and no growth as a person , so may i surgest that you have a think about what iv writen and start work on you who you are and put in place things that are going to help you grow into the person you ...NEED ...to become .
If you place your trust in clothes and feelings then it,ll be short lived and youll be disapointed time and time again ,
I care less about clothes even though i make my own take my clothes away all of them , the bottom line or bedrock is im a female and a woman no doubts and no regrets why ,
Because i accepted who i am what i am and that includes my issues and other problems not perfect yet still accepted ,
...noelenna....
Quote from: Isabelle on March 17, 2015, 05:15:41 PM
I was talking about people. I never once mentioned women. I'm not being aggressive. I'm being honest. i find affectation distasteful. Especially when it's being used to police human behaviour. All these lovely shoes and clothes and glittery pony toys are a product of post war industrial design philosophy. To this day, it poisons the environment and human culture. It promotes greed, division, slavery, destruction etc. I could go on but, it wouldn't make a difference.
Yupp! Agreed. Let's not forget that, unfortunately, many of the pretty, fashionable clothes and styles that everyone goes bananas with are fabricated in countries that have really really low wage and their laborers have the poorest workplace conditions ever and they are paid God knows how much.
And, clothes do absolutely nothing for me. Obviously I'm not going to be an hypocrite and say I don't like nice clothes, but clothes don't make me happier or more at peace. It's just clothes.
Just to add... just grounding my reasons
I see three choices, Female clothing, Male Clothing and Androgynous clothing...
I hated buying Male clothing (even tho I had to at times (work)) casually preferring to look at mainly Androgynous clothing. I love buying and wearing female clothing as it seems natural to me... and now women's clothing fits better. and yes I do like fashionable clothing, I have Jeans, sweaters and hoodies for winter, mainly snow or street inspired, for casual... not too much smart or evening wear. For Summer short and long dresses, shorts and fashion tops, dresses are mix of casual and semi "dressy"... so I don't wear male or androgynous clothes unless I have to and then its more casual androgynous... do I like it/them no!
I buy what I like, price is not a driver and I am not an overly fashionista either (hope that's spelt right???) I buy what fits and suits me best...
Wearing women's clothing makes me feel free, comfortable in myself, natural and how about "at last this is me, what happened to all those years ::) " and now I can!
But I do love shopping and just looking in shops and online stores :laugh: ...apart from Susan's, music and movies its my favourite pastime :icon_yes:
L Katy :-*
wearing women's clothing right now makes me a bit frustrated, because i feel really ugly. i'm not full time but i do practice putting outfits together for when I'm ready to start living life as michelle.
when i was younger kid i would dress in my mom's clothes and think that I was a girl, but now that I'm older, i just see a guy in the mirror staring back at me, and it makes me sad.
Quote from: Auroramarianna on March 18, 2015, 05:00:29 AM
And, clothes do absolutely nothing for me. Obviously I'm not going to be an hypocrite and say I don't like nice clothes, but clothes don't make me happier or more at peace. It's just clothes.
Women's clothing fits better and makes me look like I'm not crossdressed. It also makes me feel safer because I was threatened on the street as a result of male fail.
But it doesn't excite me or anything like that. Clothing is not my issue. Other people around me were much more excited about me starting to wear women's clothing than I ever was.
Quote from: marikvulpina on March 17, 2015, 08:18:29 AM
I haven't worn pants since.
I wear skinny jeans most of the time this time of year. Occassionally leggings. I find them comfortable. In the summer I wear mostly shorts for casual attire. I will throw in a skirt now and then or a dress, but I don't wear them most of the time.
Wearing women's clothing doesn't have to mean wearing skirts and dresses at all times. I am not suggesting that marikvulpina thinks it does, but I thought it was worth pointing that out. I know trans* people have accused me from time to time of presenting male or masculine by wearing skinny jeans. Tisn't true. Go walk around a shopping mall sometime and have a look at what women wear. :)
And this opens an avenue that some people find helpful. It is possible to go to the women's side of a store and pick up clothing that basically looks like women's clothing and that you can wear without anyone noticing anything amiss. But yet it's from the women's side. If you find that helpful, however, I wouldn't recommend skinny jeans for going unnoticed. :)
All my Jeans are skinny too :laugh:
Like others here wearing women's clothes, even though in private for now, it does put me at ease and helps with the dysphoria. With my job right now I can't wear women's clothes, and I can't wait to get home to put on my "real" clothes. Being able to wear women's clothes it does give me more confidence and breaks down that wall little by little to allow myself to be free and start the whole process of transition and coming out for me. The first step is always the hardest.
It's a double edged sword. Dressing makes me feel,well, like me. A feeling of normality and rightness. Then I look in the mirror and see a mad deluded woman and despair that I'll ever get there. It's going to be a long long road but I'm up for it!
Q. "What does women clothing do for you?"
A. Keeps me warm.
Quote from: vkpbhf on March 18, 2015, 12:41:27 PM
Q. "What does women clothing do for you?"
A. Keeps me warm.
Basically. Also makes my ass look better than a pair of dude jeans would.
Love it, always have. I am now wearing the clothes I was supposed to all along. In fact when I do have to go out in "boy mode", buttoning with my right hand and the buttons on the right feels odd. I tend to wear tight, impractical things that show off my body. I always wore flashy things that have shock value from the time I was young.