Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: evecrook on March 26, 2015, 08:45:07 PM

Title: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: evecrook on March 26, 2015, 08:45:07 PM
I for some reason since birth love the touch of a man against my body , but I feel the same towards woman. I've probably have had equal partners through out my life as far as male and female. Sexually I'm pretty equally attracted to the male and female body ,even though as I get older the need to be with a man only as a complete woman gets so much stronger, but I can be just as happy with a female companion both mentally and physically. I can love a man's mind as the same as a woman's . I guess in a sense I might be pretty screwed up to the point of causing me to be a lone a lot . How do others view what attracts them to the type of partner they prefer. I'm just kind of totally blind when it comes to the reason I prefer one over the other except that I do understand for myself that it's far more difficult to find a man who's mind is compatible then it is for a woman's.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Zoetrope on March 26, 2015, 09:37:08 PM
I am bisexual, so ...

Men: Practicality, protection, and testosterone-fueled moments of fiery passion.

Women: Empathy, flowing communication, and emotional connection.
---

I guess which way I swing really depends on my broader life situation and psychological needs at any given time.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: evecrook on March 26, 2015, 10:15:13 PM
Quote from: SarahBoo on March 26, 2015, 09:37:08 PM
I am bisexual, so ...

Men: Practicality, protection, and testosterone-fueled moments of fiery passion.

Women: Empathy, flowing communication, and emotional connection.
---

I guess which way I swing really depends on my broader life situation and psychological needs at any given time.
Yea, I'm really into taller men, that feeling of protection is nice and warm
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: StrykerXIII on March 27, 2015, 12:32:16 AM
I can't really put my finger on exactly one thing or set of things. None of the various women I've been with have had anything in common, really. But if I use my fiancee as a source, it's in her spirit. Yes, she's pretty - long, flowing hair, bright green eyes, fair complexion, nice...erm..."build"...ahem. But it's mostly in WHO she is. She's compassionate, loyal, selfless, and not afraid to get her hands dirty to protect what she loves. It really was by pure chance that I ended up with a woman at all. We met on the internet - she could've been anyone. I fell head-over-heels for her long before I ever knew what she even looked like. Being a pretty woman just made her easier to introduce to my parents  ;D
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: melanie maritz on March 27, 2015, 12:55:59 AM
hmm that's a good question I'm attracted to men so I guess what attracts me is: definitely 100% , if he is taller than me then I will be attracted to him even more, I like both muscle guys and skinny "nerdy" guys , one is all manly and the other one seems more sweet. I like to be able to have a nice conversation, sometimes about deep stuff so intelligence is also very attractive to me
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Cindy on March 27, 2015, 01:16:47 AM
I'm straight and I like men as partners who are taller than I, very intelligent, good sense of humour and honest with both themselves and I. I like to share my life and my man must be able to share his with me as well.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Jill F on March 27, 2015, 01:37:53 AM
You just have to have "it".  You know "it" when you see "it". 
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Cindy on March 27, 2015, 01:39:29 AM
Quote from: Jill F on March 27, 2015, 01:37:53 AM
You just have to have "it".  You know "it" when you see "it".

Ye I like a good sized 'it' as well :laugh: :embarrassed:
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Hikari on March 27, 2015, 02:49:34 AM
I identify as a lesbian, and this is kinda neat, since I haven't really thought about what I like so much, I generally have been on a I know it when I see it mentality.

Physically I am not very particular on her body, I find body types from curvy to rail thin attractive and I like breats regardless of size so long as it fits her body, I do find myself partial to longer legs and a taller person in general. Physically her face is the most important attribute for me, and I am very much partial to long hair. A nice smile and bright eyes go a long way for me :)

Mentally, I want someone who is confident, who is willing to call me out when she thinks I am doing something wrong and also willing to say what is on her mind even if it might hurt my feelings in the moment. She had to keep me interested with subjects to talk about, it doesn't have to be a particular thing she likes to talk about so long as it is something I am also interested in. She also has to have a sense of humor, if she takes herself too seriously it is a major turnoff.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Wild Flower on March 27, 2015, 04:37:12 AM
I'm 100% straight trans woman, lol, and why I like men... well because women don't play the protector role as much, and make me feel feminine. It's to make me feel feminine and loved, and I love a man, and I like making a man feel masculine. Our differences make us equal, like the moon and the sun, always chasing one another but never together in unity. And when we meet, the world stares at our total eclipse.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Muffinheart on March 27, 2015, 06:35:11 AM
For my partner, and in general, most men I've dated it isn't their looks necessarily, but how they treat me.
My fiancé, while not too keen on talking about my past or what it was like all those years, does support me.
Im pretty sure the reason we're still together is I did have surgery last year.
He makes me laugh, we share some interests, he's kind and thoughtful.
Always sends me texts throughout the day just letting me know he's thinking of me.

Most importantly, he puts up with me. Man, I can be a bitch at times, but he takes it all in stride and it slides right off him.

He has never hid me from family,mfriends or his co workers. And he is in one of the most Alpha type jobs - police.

I'm lucky to have him in my life.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: mfox on March 27, 2015, 08:06:35 AM
Quote from: Wild Flower on March 27, 2015, 04:37:12 AM
It's to make me feel feminine and loved, and I love a man, and I like making a man feel masculine.

Quote from: Muffinheart on March 27, 2015, 06:35:11 AM
For my partner, and in general, most men I've dated it isn't their looks necessarily, but how they treat me.

Yes and yes!  I dated either gender until it dawned on me why men were so much better.  They make me feel most feminine, and I feel complete when I can make them feel masculine.  It was always obvious how much more masculine I was compared to my cis girlfriends.

Of course women are more physically handsome in some ways, but it took me a while to realize that desire was mainly  envy, not sexual attraction.  My husband probably wouldn't turn heads, but I fell in love with his personality and nature first and his body second.

I love the feel of a man's chest hair and beard, to feel the power in their arms, to see their male firey desire and make them happy.  Since HRT, they definitely have some kind of scent or pheromones too.

Of course I miss the empathy and emotional connection that comes naturally with other women, so most of my friends are women.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Sabrina on March 27, 2015, 08:38:57 AM
I'm attracted to either men or women. My main criteria is that they can accept me for who I am. I've yet to date anyone since starting my transition though. I can't stand someone who smokes. Having similar interests and a well taken care of body helps.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: ana1111 on March 27, 2015, 09:00:07 AM
well firstly I definitely agree with what a few others have said about being with a man makes me feel more feminine and I want to make him feel more masculine... and physically I really like tall guys though my current bf isn't that much taller than me and its not that important in the scope of things...I really love muscles but mostly bulky muscles not overly defined or lean and especially arms and nothing is better than holding your guys arm wrapping both hands around it and your both hands don't touch or barely touch.. I like guys that are kinda hairy not on the back or shoulders but chest and stomach, arms, legs...and if he's hairy and muscular than  :o :-*... and there voices really can be very nice too ^-^...oh and the way guys smell  :P ya I always liked that even before hormones or anything and mens colognes are great too... emotionally and personality wise I really like a guy who makes me feel really special, desirable and pretty, treats me as a princess and I love it if he's protective and even slightly possessive at times.. he's gotta have a really soft caring side too cause as much as I love the hard manly exterior I want someone who I can talk to and can be there when im sad and hold me and likes to cuddle and talks about how he feels for me and such...lastly he's gotta be ok with the trans thing period...not just with me waiting it out till I get surgery or ashamed of himself cause he likes me.. he's gotta like me equal or more than a cis woman and be comfortable enough to have me meet family and some friends...
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Zoetrope on March 27, 2015, 09:04:58 AM
You rock, Anna :~D
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: ana1111 on March 27, 2015, 09:12:41 AM
thankyou! I honestly wasn't sure anyone would read that long of a post
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Zoetrope on March 27, 2015, 09:14:24 AM
lol well ... I normally *don't* read long posts. But yours had some juicy content so ...

I like how you know what you want, too. That's rad.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: ana1111 on March 27, 2015, 09:32:03 AM
yep, if you know what you want its a lot easier to get what you want and I feel like I pretty much got what I want right now in the relationship department ;D
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Zoetrope on March 27, 2015, 09:36:20 AM
Quote from: Annabolton on March 27, 2015, 09:32:03 AM
yep, if you know what you want its a lot easier to get what you want and I feel like I pretty much got what I want right now in the relationship department ;D

High five!
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Ashey on March 27, 2015, 03:04:06 PM
I'm pansexual, but to keep things simple.. With Men, sometimes it's hard to tell. Sometimes looking at a guy just 'does it' for me. Or their smell... so I know some of it is hormonal. Otherwise, maybe just because they're so different from me, and therefore are a bit interesting. Beards, I've learned, are nice too. Height, muscles, etc. Nice things too. I guess there's no real mysterious reasons for liking them at all. It's all pretty typical stuff. And well, a big reason is penises. Or I hope it's a big reason... :P However, men also frustrate the crap outta me a lot of the time for various reasons. Plus they scare me sometimes. My boyfriend sometimes gets this rage built up and when it comes out, it's very frightening. So that's the downside to masculinity, and their size and muscles and all that. Nice when they're on your side, protecting you, but not when they could potentially turn against you...

As for women, I'm simply much more attracted to them physically, and have a broader range of 'types' that I like. Women are beautiful. But beyond appearance, it's nice to relate with women mentally and emotionally. Women are also generally cleaner and nicer and gentler, which I like. So I lean more towards liking women. And someone brought up the point that men make them feel more feminine. Well, I could relate to that at first, but now.. There are times I actually want to butch it up a bit. Not necessarily because I want to be a 'top', and not necessarily to attract more femme women (because I like butch and anything in between too), but I guess maybe I've gotten past that need or desire to be with men as a counterpoint to feel more secure. I'm secure enough in my femininity that I don't need the contrast to feel more like a woman. Hopefully I'm not offending anyone with any of this, just my own personal feelings and observations here. Anyway, my attraction to women has also changed as I've transitioned. Took me a while to figure it all out and I still haven't completely. But my former attraction to women was based on being 'a guy' and now it's very different. So I'm still getting used to liking women as a woman, but I really feel that I would be happier in a relationship with a woman.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: antonia on March 27, 2015, 10:00:44 PM
My own feelings are very similar to yours which I guess is not surprising given that I'm also pansexual although I honestly think the individual is so important that I can't really say I've got a preference for one or the other, just all depends on the person.

Quote from: Ashey on March 27, 2015, 03:04:06 PM
I'm pansexual, but to keep things simple.. With Men, sometimes it's hard to tell. Sometimes looking at a guy just 'does it' for me. Or their smell... so I know some of it is hormonal. Otherwise, maybe just because they're so different from me, and therefore are a bit interesting. Beards, I've learned, are nice too. Height, muscles, etc. Nice things too. I guess there's no real mysterious reasons for liking them at all. It's all pretty typical stuff. And well, a big reason is penises. Or I hope it's a big reason... :P However, men also frustrate the crap outta me a lot of the time for various reasons. Plus they scare me sometimes. My boyfriend sometimes gets this rage built up and when it comes out, it's very frightening. So that's the downside to masculinity, and their size and muscles and all that. Nice when they're on your side, protecting you, but not when they could potentially turn against you...

As for women, I'm simply much more attracted to them physically, and have a broader range of 'types' that I like. Women are beautiful. But beyond appearance, it's nice to relate with women mentally and emotionally. Women are also generally cleaner and nicer and gentler, which I like. So I lean more towards liking women. And someone brought up the point that men make them feel more feminine. Well, I could relate to that at first, but now.. There are times I actually want to butch it up a bit. Not necessarily because I want to be a 'top', and not necessarily to attract more femme women (because I like butch and anything in between too), but I guess maybe I've gotten past that need or desire to be with men as a counterpoint to feel more secure. I'm secure enough in my femininity that I don't need the contrast to feel more like a woman. Hopefully I'm not offending anyone with any of this, just my own personal feelings and observations here. Anyway, my attraction to women has also changed as I've transitioned. Took me a while to figure it all out and I still haven't completely. But my former attraction to women was based on being 'a guy' and now it's very different. So I'm still getting used to liking women as a woman, but I really feel that I would be happier in a relationship with a woman.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: BunnyBee on March 28, 2015, 01:02:57 AM
Hmmm.  I am not the most sexual person on earth so it's few and far between that I am ever attracted to somebody, but when I am it can hit pretty hard.  Thinking back, it's been several different types of guys.. Intelligence is a big thing, but not just being smart, also having self-confidence and apparent emotional strength, if that makes sense?  Showing me even a glimmer of attention too, that helps.  Being tall helps also, but I'm quite tall so that's just a given.

So idk exactly, but I know it when I feel my heart flop and my cheeks flush.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: herekitten on March 28, 2015, 12:58:55 PM
What attracts me to a man is his maleness. He is the yin to my yang. Love his height, his strong arms and his beautiful long man legs with perfectly developed muscles (my pet peeve is the legs and arms with beautifully shaped strong hands and feet because otherwise, it is a turn off to me.  I can spend hours just twirling my fingers through his hands. He has to be highly intelligent and be able to carry a conversation about most every subject. He has to be deeply spiritual and it helps if he has a different view point. He must be very sensuous in the romance department.  He has a wonderful sense of humor and can make me laugh and joins in with me when we people watch. And if he has red hair --- oh my!  it's like a fire I can't put out -- it's my weakness.  He will want to live his life alongside mine so that we can see each other turn old and gray and be ever so happy.  And guess what? I married him  ;D

As for attraction to women, I have no clue. No attraction there beyond sisterhood friendship.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Yukihime on March 28, 2015, 04:15:06 PM
I'm pansexual so what attracts me to the various gender identities is personality first, then body. For males, having grown up with them; I find them easy to relate to. A man's world is so straight forward and many present themselves as such, which I love. It helps when they share in your interests (of the nerd persuasion in my case). Like many of you have said, I just feel more feminine with a man and the often candid interest in me really boosts my self-esteem xD Body wise, I do like a muscular form and them being taller than me but my standards are very simple, if not easy. Winning personality and little body hair/well groomed in places, and you're good in my books. Lots of bonus cookies for mutual interests.

With women I do feel a bit more top I guess, for a lack of a better term. Though I do physically like women more but personality wise I've become much more strict. I'm not quite ready to call myself a tomboy but if I end up feeling that way more often than not, then it's a turn off. I want to feel equally feminine in a relationship with women. Where we're both good girlfriends having a strong co-dependence with each other. With that ability to communicate comes a wider range of emotions to read, making problem solving far more complex. Makes it feel like you're walking on glass at times. When it's good it's cloud nine, when it's bad it's...well hell =p
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: ImagineKate on March 28, 2015, 05:24:42 PM
I like a man who can take charge and who can dominate me yet is kind and caring. I like one who can have fun and tell a good joke and who can be naughty as well as nice. Physically I have to say (sadly) height and physique but someone who can smile and brighten the room.

Women? Well I like those who are friendly and kind too and who can do stuff together, but more tomboy/guy stuff. The women I really are attracted to are into cars and guns. I really have a thing for car geeks, street racers and the like. My wife is none of the above...
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: evecrook on March 28, 2015, 06:49:03 PM
women are beautiful, but I've always, always wanted to be one, but I still love the friendship and sexuality of a woman. Men I know can have screwed up mentality sometimes and a lot of guys I just am afraid of, but there are men that just drive me insane with their sexuality .
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: evecrook on March 28, 2015, 08:19:38 PM
I guess life would be so much simpler if I could solve the riddle of why the thought of having a man physically penetrate me by means of having my own vagina. It's just the one fantasy that wont go away no matter how much therapy or logic is applied. The sensation of love making and orgasm is so beautiful. Even if I achieve that beauty whether with a man or a woman , I just can't free myself of the absolute necessity of being female. Logic just won't solve the issue even after many years of life experience and basic physical reality , I so desperately desire a mans penetration of my vagina. God how much  simpler life would be.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: Orchid on March 28, 2015, 11:10:38 PM
With disregard to my highschool years, I was never very sensual in my sexuality to begin with. I suppose to categorize my interests, I would say... Bisexual? I'm more so attracted to men I think, but I'm not really sure. There are things that I'm too picky about that prevents me from really being attracted to anyone. It usually has something to do with smell. I haven't met a man that had an odor I liked.

Actually disregard that completely. I thought of someone, then another, then few more, then a dozen-

With women I've found myself interested but never aroused? I can appreciate beauty, glow, emotion in the eyes. I've never been turned on. Maybe one time? By accident? I might be crossing the bisexual waters, not quite there.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: noleen111 on March 29, 2015, 05:50:15 AM
I am bi-sexual.. who was a lesbian.. my attraction to men kinda surprised as it developed during hrt.

Women, I love woman with nice legs and breasts is a second. i prefer shorter women. The last woman I dated had all these qualities and the relationship was more of a physical attraction... but i found myself wanting a man as a long term partner.

Men.. I never really had a preference here and my current boyfriend who i am in a long term relationship with seems to be my type.. He is very intelligent as i love having intelligent conversations.. he has quite broad shoulders from his workouts.. it really turns me on when i see him doing weights. He also has a relatively large tattoo on his right shoulder when i really love, he wants one also done on his left one too..i cant wait... I like stubble, not a beard.. i like a mans man.. and the fact his very well endowed is a huge bonus  ;D . I want a man to be in charge in the bedroom as I am very submissive in the bedroom.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: mac1 on March 29, 2015, 07:19:24 AM
I never had any interest in boys. As for girls: I only dated two of them once and another either twice or three before meeting my wife. I was just 19 and she was 17 when we first dated and we got married about 2 1/2 years later. We just celebrated our 50th anniversary and I have never had any real interest in anybody else.

I can't find any one thing (over another) that has attracted her to me. As previously indicated, I frequently felt that I should have been a girl and I still have that desire. However, I don't want to do anything that would hurt our relationship. It would be great if there was a way for me to be a woman at least part time with her.
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: evecrook on March 29, 2015, 05:20:43 PM
Quote from: noleen111 on March 29, 2015, 05:50:15 AM
I am bi-sexual.. who was a lesbian.. my attraction to men kinda surprised as it developed during hrt.

Women, I love woman with nice legs and breasts is a second. i prefer shorter women. The last woman I dated had all these qualities and the relationship was more of a physical attraction... but i found myself wanting a man as a long term partner.

Men.. I never really had a preference here and my current boyfriend who i am in a long term relationship with seems to be my type.. He is very intelligent as i love having intelligent conversations.. he has quite broad shoulders from his workouts.. it really turns me on when i see him doing weights. He also has a relatively large tattoo on his right shoulder when i really love, he wants one also done on his left one too..i cant wait... I like stubble, not a beard.. i like a mans man.. and the fact his very well endowed is a huge bonus  ;D . I want a man to be in charge in the bedroom as I am very submissive in the bedroom.
nice relationship
Title: Re: what is it that attracts you to a man or woman or both
Post by: JessieJ on March 31, 2015, 09:35:41 AM
I am attracted to men. i like girls.. but love men. I like someone who i know is going to protect me, someone who is kinda tall, sweet, who goes out oh his way to do things with you. I am madly attracted to when guys act corny, really sweet :)