I'd like to point out before I continue that I'm not a stranger to being objectified... Being groped, (and sometimes worse...) by strangers is not unusual so in general I shouldn't be surprised... But I never expected this from a friend...
Basically, it started out with a text message - "I broke up with my girlfriend, I'm coming over tonight we have to catch up."
I replied - "Kay' but come before 12, I got to get up early tomorrow...." (Matter of fact I need to get up in 4 hours time but I'm too angry to go to sleep, I must let it out and see some advice first..)
Anyway, he appeared at 12.30 am... I wasn't going to deny a 'friend' in, but honestly I was a big angry...
Anyway, time passed, we had a beer... He kept commenting how I looked so much more feminine and that I had a really nice figure.... I was like... Mk' thanks... Found it funny to be honest, thought not much of it.. Well he started mentioning it being 'hot' and giving me 'the look'... "You said when you had your boobs operated you'd let me touch..." I was like "Uh, I barely have any I'm only on HRT..." He then goes to move a hand under my skirt, to my panties, I push it away.... "Please, let me just touch them.. (I forgot exactly what but he was playing the pity game using his breakup as an excuse...) Constantly tryign to pull his hand from my bum... "Okay just touch them and drop it..." That's when his hands went into my panties and into my bra... "Too far..." I pulled away... He says it doesn't have to mean anything and that I make him really horny... I'm like no.. We're friends, that's all I see you as and I don't do that with friends.."
This is where it gets fun... He finally apologizes, I said it's fine, he only made me feel a bit uncomfortable is all... That's when he uses the punchline... "After all it was simply a revenge f**k out of hatred for her..." I just stared at the floor with my mouth wide open... "So you don't really find me that attractive then?" He says no, that he finds my ex-best friend who I hate a lot more sexy than me.... Who a matter of fact I was telling him a while earlier what she did to me.... I'm freaking out at this point. "She has manly hands and is really ugly... How can you prefer her?" (She's cis I should point out but I really hate her so this became a competition...) "Because I'm hetero" Great... I just stare at him and become quiet for a good 5 minutes... And he comes to me saying softly "Oh but you're still second, after (He mentions a few of my female friends) all come after you....." ..... ....... Great coz that magically makes it all better.... Right?
It was awkward silence from that moment till he realized I didn't want him there and decided to leave....
I hope you consider him an ex friend. Personally, that is a crime. A scary one.
Quote from: LordKAT on May 14, 2015, 02:33:55 AM
I hope you consider him an ex friend. Personally, that is a crime. A scary one.
Definitely, he's no good for you. I would have called him a Fetishist, and told him GTFO. Nothing but objectification, and an utter lack of respect. I can't tell you how to feel, but I would feel livid about the whole situation. Having the huevos to sexually assault you, then call you a "revenge f@#*. I'm getting mad just thinking about it. I'm sorry that happened, that dude is a jerk.
~Maddy
Whoa... how horrible... geez
hugs Bluebird, let him go, he's no real friend, as LordKAT said, definitely bordering on criminal...
L Katy :-*
Thank you so much for your replies :) *hugs KatrinaW back*
Yeah, to be honest I barely slept... Luckily been keeping busy but now that I'm back home I'm getting angry again.... He left a bag behind so I'm guessing that's his excuse to randomly appear without much option to say no... But as soon as he comes back to pick it up and leave I'm going to avoid him by all means...
I'm just.... Reminded again that those who you thought were 'honest' and that you could trust... Are always the ones who cause you the most harm...
This guy is a mouthful of awful. The best way to handle a situation of this type, is to repeat the following words: Get the f--- out of my house!
You may benefit by following up with a knee to the crotch and a punch in the face.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to advocate violence. That guy's really, really gross. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. Actually, on second thought, in the case of repeated attempts of sexual assault, coupled with the "poor me" card, I think violence is what he needs.
Gahd, I don't think that. This sucks. This really upsets me. My heart goes out to you. I hate hearing stories like this. Do you live near Philly? I'll bring you some chocolate, and we can talk about this. <3
Send his bag back to him by some sort of express parcel service. Really. This guy committed some extremely serious and manipulative boundary violations. He is not your friend, and guys like him don't stop.
And the fake apology with the "I'm not really attracted to you" thing attached to it?
If you accept anything like that from him, he will just regard it as a license to commit further abuse and get away with it.
Get this guy as far away from you as you can any way you can, because it never gets better with guys like him. It only gets worse.
I think everything everyone has said so far is spot on.
This person is toxic and sounds like a rapist in the making. >:(
Quote from: CarlyMcx on May 14, 2015, 08:36:25 PM
Send his bag back to him by some sort of express parcel service. Really. This guy committed some extremely serious and manipulative boundary violations. He is not your friend, and guys like him don't stop...
Get this guy as far away from you as you can any way you can, because it never gets better with guys like him. It only gets worse.
Exactly ! ! ! ! ! ! !