I'm on the path to GRS and I'm totally sure that once I make the final decision and lie on that table there will absolutely be no regrets. I've lived with this way too long to turn back so I know once its done I'll have fulfilled a life long dream and I'll find peace. I was just curious of those who plan on doing GRS if you have any totally sure way mentally that you know your doing the best thing possible.
Stephanie, I know it is hard to hear this but there is no such thing as a sure thing. It's going to have to be a leap of faith.
That said it is natural to want reassurance. If as you said you live with this all your life and this is your destiny then maybe it is. Only you can tell.
My plan is to wait 2-3 years and continue therapy during that time. I had a long talk with my therapist today about GRS and she said that it seems like I'm a good candidate but only I can determine if I want and need it.
I have a few things that tell me I am not going to regret it. One of which is that I'm already infertile.
The other is that I'm already changed in so many respects so why not?
And finally I always say it is always worth going all the way if you can.
I appreciate your reply
The only thing one can do to prevent regrets is to be 100% honest with yourself prior to surgery (mine is mid Nov, in just 5 months!!). Consider how you feel now about the male parts; work those feelings with a fine-tooth comb, finding any hint, any suggestion, why you might have regrets. (And also look at any hint that you won't have regrets. Are they valid or invalid?)
I would think that people who regret are those with severe complications (mostly prevented by following the adequate and thorough post-op instructions, although sometimes the complications are beyond one's control), or those who were all Pollyanna-ish "La la la la...I'm getting The Surgery, la la la la..." without any concern for regrets.
And finally, like iKate said...ultimately it's going to have to be a leap of faith. But in the meantime, be sure to address any specific concerns you have.
Beth really hit this on the nose Stephanie. There is no such thing as a sure bet, but the closest thing is to be completely honest with yourself. Anytime we deal with something this big were almost always going to have doubts in are minds which is completely normal too. You will know when you have reached a decision you can live with. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
thanks, I'm work more on this subject with my therapist and I might be working with a Psychiatrist from the same hospital group so I can get my referral letter. I'm planning on a little over a years time to totally thrash this out so I should be fine. It has been a dream of mine for a very long time though. Thanks for all the help, I'd be lost without Susan's.
I'd agree with the above, while there is never a 100% guarantee you will not be disappointed (not just for GRS but anything) the likelihood of being satisfied will be higher if you are honest with yourself, do not have astronomical expectations, are aware of the limitations of the final product (verses an actual vaj) and understand the procedure/recovery.
thanks
Like others, I think there's no guarantees in life; we could come to regret basically any decision we ever make. Since that means it's impossible to be certain of any decision and it's also impossible NOT to ever decide things, we just have to take it on faith that we're doing the best we can. :)
That said, I think there's some definite issues that might point *to* possible regrets, including getting GRS despite not wanting it for oneself (which sounds obvious, but I do know one woman who got it purely to satisfy state requirements and another whose boyfriend pushed her hard, and both ended up regretting it).
You seem pretty sure, and that's all you can ask of yourself.
thanks
Only reason I could figure a transwoman would fear SRS is the fear of it being done wrong and having complications. I'm curious what are these disadvantages of post op vaginas ^^ besides not having all the necessary means to birth children? I always thought a post op vagina done by an experienced surgeon utilizing abundant flesh etc was just as sexually sensitive and would eventually maintain a natural vag balance overtime anyway. I know they have to be dilated 2-3 times a week at first then like 1 a week for the rest of the life of the transwoman. I'm curious because within a few years I'll be getting mine.
I think the regret or non-regret value of GRS is why you have it done. If it is for your self, yur decision and thought through there should be few problems.
If you have GRS because it is the 'natural' next step you may have regret. You and every woman is no more or no less a woman whether she has had GRS or not.
Oh and many woman have some level of depression following GRS, very similar to woman who give birth can have some depression following the arrival of her child. It is a life changing event for both groups of women.
My psychiatrist did suggest that I make an appointment with her for 2 months after surgery to talk through any concerns. It was a sensible suggestion.
I can't really understand why a transwoman would want to keep a penis on her body? It seems counter intuitive to her identity as a woman to me. It's similar to a foreigner wanting to become a citizen of another nation but only to a point. I know transwoman lack the uterus and the ovaries making natural children impossible after the fact but even then estrogen and t blockers nullify penis function anyway. What is there to miss about the broken penis and balls if you identify as 'female' who innately have no balls. I don't hear any cis women happy to be ciswomen or just don't give their sex a second thought wishing they had a dick or balls, why would a transwoman who wants the female form want to keep her penis then(which is not female?) Granted the neovag is not a natural one *obviously* but it is as close to physical womanhood as an mtf with dysphoric feeling will get.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 16, 2015, 03:29:17 AM
I can't really understand why a transwoman would want to keep a penis on her body? It seems counter intuitive to her identity as a woman to me. It's similar to a foreigner wanting to become a citizen of another nation but only to a point. I know transwoman lack the uterus and the ovaries making natural children impossible after the fact but even then estrogen and t blockers nullify penis function anyway. What is there to miss about the broken penis and balls if you identify as 'female' who innately have no balls. I don't hear any cis women happy to be ciswomen or just don't give their sex a second thought wishing they had a dick or balls, why would a transwoman who wants the female form want to keep her penis then(which is not female?) Granted the neovag is not a natural one *obviously* but it is as close to physical womanhood as an mtf with dysphoric feeling will get.
While I am happy for your choices, I will not have any women's choices invalidated on this forum.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 16, 2015, 03:29:17 AM
I can't really understand why a transwoman would want to keep a penis on her body? It seems counter intuitive to her identity as a woman to me. It's similar to a foreigner wanting to become a citizen of another nation but only to a point. I know transwoman lack the uterus and the ovaries making natural children impossible after the fact but even then estrogen and t blockers nullify penis function anyway. What is there to miss about the broken penis and balls if you identify as 'female' who innately have no balls. I don't hear any cis women happy to be ciswomen or just don't give their sex a second thought wishing they had a dick or balls, why would a transwoman who wants the female form want to keep her penis then(which is not female?) Granted the neovag is not a natural one *obviously* but it is as close to physical womanhood as an mtf with dysphoric feeling will get.
Your comparison to a foreigner doesn't exactly fit. Think of this instead: a person moving to another nation to become a full citizen but still feels comfortable with keeping the traditions and customs of his or her old country.
Many transfolk are transgender because they are dysphoric. If, during their journey, their dysphoria alleviates, then mission accomplished! No matter what your body looks like when that mission is accomplished, it's still accomplished. You've won at that point.
Personally, I plan on going through with operation because it's a major source of dysphoria for me. But if my HRT (which I just got today, wooo!) leaves me in a place where I'm content, I may change my mind. I'll continue my journey until I've won. I may win before GRS is necessary or I may not. Either way, I'm going to win this.
It's not so black and white.
I came to terms before SRS that I simply could never know what it was going to feel like. Would I regret it? Entirely possible.
But if I didn't get it, would I regret that decision? Yes. Of that I was certain.
At some point you just have to hope you've made the best choice you can and go with it. There' no certainties in life, apart from it passing by. And while it's not quite the same the one regret that I keep hearing again and again, and suffer from myself, is not transitioning earlier. It seems we're far more likely choose and regret inaction rather than action.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 16, 2015, 03:29:17 AM
I can't really understand why a transwoman would want to keep a penis on her body? It seems counter intuitive to her identity as a woman to me.
Not sure how to put this without causing any offense, but let me put this another way. I personally don't understand "why a man would want to become a woman", and yet here I am, M2F. It just is, and I've had to accept it. The transgender spectrum is wide indeed and there's some "odd" things people want far outside of even that. If I can't even understand myself what hope is there of understanding anyone else? I can accept it though.
Quote from: stephaniec on May 15, 2015, 10:41:47 PM
I'm on the path to GRS and I'm totally sure that once I make the final decision and lie on that table there will absolutely be no regrets. I've lived with this way too long to turn back so I know once its done I'll have fulfilled a life long dream and I'll find peace. I was just curious of those who plan on doing GRS if you have any totally sure way mentally that you know your doing the best thing possible.
Hi Stephanie, I've just got my second referral so I'm also moving towards surgery now. I think it's totally natural to have nerves, I've sometimes thought to myself 'is this the right thing to do?' but I always come to the conclusion that I need to do it.
Quote from: Cindy on May 16, 2015, 03:11:43 AM
Oh and many woman have some level of depression following GRS, very similar to woman who give birth can have some depression following the arrival of her child. It is a life changing event for both groups of women.
My psychiatrist did suggest that I make an appointment with her for 2 months after surgery to talk through any concerns. It was a sensible suggestion.
After my FFS I had a prolonged period of depression. I wasnt expecting it or prepared for it and it wasnt until afterwards that I realised it was post surgical depression. I expect I might have a similar spell after GRS, so I think it's good to be prepared for that and to have some support in place.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 16, 2015, 03:29:17 AM
I can't really understand why a transwoman would want to keep a penis on her body? It seems counter intuitive to her identity as a woman to me.
There are many reasons why. It's not something that works for me; I regard that part of me as a horrible remnant of who I was, and like you say intrisically male. But thats one of the ways my dysphoria manifests itself, and it won't be the same for everyone. Having major surgery is a big decision and comes with a lot of consequences and some people don't feel the need; it doesn't make them any less female, and what's between someones legs is ultimately their business. On top of that are the people who can't have the surgery for medical reasons, or financial reasons, and then it becomes clear why we place such importance on a persons gender not being defined by their genitalia.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 16, 2015, 03:29:17 AM
I can't really understand why a transwoman would want to keep a penis on her body? It seems counter intuitive to her identity as a woman to me. It's similar to a foreigner wanting to become a citizen of another nation but only to a point. I know transwoman lack the uterus and the ovaries making natural children impossible after the fact but even then estrogen and t blockers nullify penis function anyway. What is there to miss about the broken penis and balls if you identify as 'female' who innately have no balls. I don't hear any cis women happy to be ciswomen or just don't give their sex a second thought wishing they had a dick or balls, why would a transwoman who wants the female form want to keep her penis then(which is not female?) Granted the neovag is not a natural one *obviously* but it is as close to physical womanhood as an mtf with dysphoric feeling will get.
I can only speak of my experiences, standard disclaimer.
As a citizen of the USA not born here I cannot be president unless the constitution is amended. This is not likely to happen. So I'm stuck with that. I had a green card for a while and that got me most of the benefits except being able to vote, hold federal jobs and a few other things. I know people who are perfectly happy this way. So yes, some people are happy keeping their status one way. Just like some trans women are happy keeping their old parts. That is their choice and we should respect them as people.
With regard to GRS, a few things are holding me back.
I'm afraid of major surgery. Not waking up is a fear I have. That said I'm working my way up via small procedures. SRS has the possibility of complications such as a fistula. Do I really want to have to walk around with a colostomy bag for the rest of my life? I really dread that thought.
Pain and discomfort. I've heard everything from "not a big deal" to "mother of god I went to hell and back." This is something I will have to deal with. I'm no stranger to pain though.
Maintenance. I kind of dread having to dilate every day for life. Some have said that it will only be once a week after a certain point. I hope so. But this scares me that I will be chained to this until they put me in the oven and back to ashes I go.
Better procedures and tech, particularly stem cell research. Aka keeping your options open. I am not sure if medical science will have a procedure that is much closer to a cis female vagina using stem cells or similar. I'm watching this keenly. But if it's far off I may just go ahead and get GRS. Why wait? This ties into the dilation issue. If they can get the dilation issue resolved then I would be ecstatic.
So yes some of us have concerns. This is not a decision to be taken lightly at all. It is also not a given.
The engineer in me knows there is no perfect solution to anything. At best only ways to get to point B without making more headaches then you are solving. IMO anyone who has absolutely no regrets about doing something is not being totally honest with themselves, or not wanting to ask themselves the right questions.
What any of us NEED to do for ourselves comes with a cost. The cost/benefit ratio determines the ultimate decision, at that one point in time, since none of us can predict, much less control, the future. Decisions are based on a set of assumptions hopefully based on knowledge. You adjust your heading along the way. Sure surgery is mostly something you cannot undo. But the same can mostly be said about anything else to date. Can you even picture life without HRT now? Not even including being able to look in a mirror and smile. Yet, I am sure there were some fears or doubts leading up to the decision and execution
Regrets about GCS can even come from a direction not totally expected. I know one transwoman, now some 25 years post-op, who does have some regret about surgery. All over the big impact it has had on her general health starting with the surgery almost killing her because of the docs arrogance about her deformed hip, a major post-op infection that the remnants still haunt her today. Add to that loss of male privileged, very evident by how doctors treat her totally differently the "the hubby" is with her vs w/o. Even I see it with the almost zero eye contact they make with her while going over her treatment options!
Inaction also bears a cost. We all know that factor well after spending a good part of our lives not doing anything about our GD, beyond hopefull wishing.
thanks
Hey, over the years, I actually *have* had cis women hear about GRS (general terms( and then say to me that if they had a penis they'd want to keep it. :) OK, they admit it would be publicly/socially awkward etc., but that's not a good reason to change one's body.
And yes, mine is perfectly functional and indistinguishable from the at birth kind and I dilate once every week or two now, but I WISH I'd only had to dilate 2-3 times a week. ;) It was 4x a day for the first month...
To be completely obvious, it seems the best way to avoid regret is to know you are female-identified, i.e., not that you associate with, long to be, are part this/part that, etc, but to know.
Several of my post-op friends were (and are) firm on that point, but were ambivalent for a variety of reasons on SRS. None of them regret it in the least, and ALL of them describe it as transformative psychologically as well as physically. In this way, it's confirming surgery not in the sense of resolving doubt, but in confirming and building what is already there.
Of the two people I know best who have had problems, the first (who almost died) has no regrets. The second, who has some moderate, ongoing problems, has experienced the confirmation but wonders in retrospect if the ongoing pain was worth it.
So separate the issues: regret because it was a mistake to begin with, or disliking the burdens SRS can bring. The first is rare, the second is common but seldom rises to the level of actual regret - where one wishes they had not done it. The difference is really important, because anti-trans people like to focus on people's issues (not regrets, though that's how they try to spin it) as evidence that SRS is wrong. A better comparison is natal women who go through terrible menstrual cycles ... they may complain, it may burden their lives, but they don't regret being women, and they don't usually pursue hysterectomies to solve the problem, either.
Have faith in yourself and the choices you make. Also make sure you have goals past grs, it is time to start thinking about after.
Quote from: LeaP on May 16, 2015, 11:35:51 AM
To be completely obvious, it seems the best way to avoid regret is to know you are female-identified, i.e., not that you associate with, long to be, are part this/part that, etc, but to know.
I need strongly to disagree with this.
Not everyone experiences their gender identity in the same way.
Some people know they are a woman. Others just really want to be a woman. There are other ways it feels like as well. Neither is any less or more suitable for GRS.
Nope you will regret something if you get GRS but if you don't get GRS you will regret not doing it I can guarantee that... don't let the possibility of regret prevent you from making this move towards making yourself whole you have worked to hard to get here and the stars, moon, and planets are lining up for you.
Quote from: Emily E on May 16, 2015, 01:42:53 PM
Nope you will regret something if you get GRS but if you don't get GRS you will regret not doing it I can guarantee that... don't let the possibility of regret prevent you from making this move towards making yourself whole you have worked to hard to get here and the stars, moon, and planets are lining up for you.
Not always...even if one has all their ducks in a row and at the last minute decides (for whatever reason, or even no reason) to hold off on SRS, I could see them accepting that state, and adjusting their self-perception to accommodate it...and not have regrets.
Of course, some will have regrets...but not all.
Quote from: suzifrommd on May 16, 2015, 11:50:14 AM
Neither is any less or more suitable for GRS.
The topic is regret, not suitability.
Quote from: Beth Andrea on May 16, 2015, 04:55:58 PM
Not always...even if one has all their ducks in a row and at the last minute decides (for whatever reason, or even no reason) to hold off on SRS, I could see them accepting that state, and adjusting their self-perception to accommodate it...and not have regrets.
Of course, some will have regrets...but not all.
To me regret includes what ifs such as "what if I asked that one girl to date me" or "what would have happened if I hadn't suspended getting SRS all those years ago" because to me if you're asking those questions of yourself you are regretting it at some level even if you have accepted or are living with the results of your decision.
Quote from: Abysha on May 16, 2015, 03:46:43 AM
Your comparison to a foreigner doesn't exactly fit. Think of this instead: a person moving to another nation to become a full citizen but still feels comfortable with keeping the traditions and customs of his or her old country.
Many transfolk are transgender because they are dysphoric. If, during their journey, their dysphoria alleviates, then mission accomplished! No matter what your body looks like when that mission is accomplished, it's still accomplished. You've won at that point.
Personally, I plan on going through with operation because it's a major source of dysphoria for me. But if my HRT (which I just got today, wooo!) leaves me in a place where I'm content, I may change my mind. I'll continue my journey until I've won. I may win before GRS is necessary or I may not. Either way, I'm going to win this.
It's not so black and white.
Well I thought my analogy was a bit off but still a little applicable. The most simple way to state my pov then is that the people who do not wish for srs but want to have 'feminized' bodies are more like feminized males or more appropriately middle sex.
I know someone might say "what about ciswomen born with disfigured vaginas? Are they not total women then?" No that's not what I'm saying I'm pretty sure they don't want that issue or whatever and would gladly work to circumvene that issue and have it resemble a healthy vagina.
Hmm, I guess the best way to put it is their 'gender' is
female their 'appearance' is
female but their
sex is still clearly
male I'm sorry that's just how I see it.
Now I'm sorry if I sounded mean and non-understanding. Admittedly though I'm not meaning to invoke negative emotion in anyone it's apparent that it will happen and is already happening. I'm very sorry to anyone I hurt because my lack of being able to relate. I may hate my penis and will rejoice and sing praises when it's a vag but that's my and some others preference and it does not mean others share it.
In any case I never said that those transwomen that prefer to keep their penises shouldn't be treated as a woman. They obviously should be identified legally and have the same feminine pronouns used when addressing them.
So please don't think I'm some mean b**** who is harshly judgmental to people that disagree with her and s***.
In a word, no, I don't think it can be guaranteed.
But this is nothing new. Just transitioning is a big gamble.
We have all taken big risks with HRT, because in the beginning we just don't know how our genes will carry it off.
But if you're happy with how it has gone, like I am, then you have already stared this kind of tension down, and succeeded.
If you've done it once, you can do it again :~)
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 17, 2015, 02:52:14 AM
Now I'm sorry if I sounded mean and non-understanding. Admittedly though I'm not meaning to invoke negative emotion in anyone it's apparent that it will happen and is already happening. I'm very sorry to anyone I hurt because my lack of being able to relate. I may hate my penis and will rejoice and sing praises when it's a vag but that's my and some others preference and it does not mean others share it.
In any case I never said that those transwomen that prefer to keep their penises shouldn't be treated as a woman. They obviously should be identified legally and have the same feminine pronouns used when addressing them.
So please don't think I'm some mean b**** who is harshly judgmental to people that disagree with her and s***.
Personally I didn't take any offense at what you said or see it as mean. I did see it as "non-understanding" as you put it in the quote above and in the original post where you started with "I can't really understand". That's fine with me, you don't understand is all. Its not like you said its wrong, which no doubt would have had a much stronger reaction. However its its a fairly thin line that separates the two, and one where I'd hesitate before posting.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 17, 2015, 02:29:07 AM
Well I thought my analogy was a bit off but still a little applicable. The most simple way to state my pov then is that the people who do not wish for srs but want to have 'feminized' bodies are more like feminized males or more appropriately middle sex.
I think "middle sex" would be non-binary, and there's plenty of enlightening posts on that topic if you search a bit. If you don't mind some advice, I think some of the way you write lacks clarity and you could try to work on that.
Rightly or wrongly the response is predictable in these forums, and if it had been over the line I've no doubt the moderators would have come in and deleted it all. I'd not worry about it much, although I know it feels bad when you post and it either gets ignored, jumped on or moderated (been there, done that).
Quote from: AnonyMs on May 17, 2015, 03:43:22 AM
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 17, 2015, 02:52:14 AM
Now I'm sorry if I sounded mean and non-understanding. Admittedly though I'm not meaning to invoke negative emotion in anyone it's apparent that it will happen and is already happening. I'm very sorry to anyone I hurt because my lack of being able to relate. I may hate my penis and will rejoice and sing praises when it's a vag but that's my and some others preference and it does not mean others share it.
In any case I never said that those transwomen that prefer to keep their penises shouldn't be treated as a woman. They obviously should be identified legally and have the same feminine pronouns used when addressing them.
So please don't think I'm some mean b**** who is harshly judgmental to people that disagree with her and s***.
Personally I didn't take any offense at what you said or see it as mean. I did see it as "non-understanding" as you put it in the quote above and in the original post where you started with "I can't really understand". That's fine with me, you don't understand is all. Its not like you said its wrong, which no doubt would have had a much stronger reaction. However its its a fairly thin line that separates the two, and one where I'd hesitate before posting.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 17, 2015, 02:29:07 AM
Well I thought my analogy was a bit off but still a little applicable. The most simple way to state my pov then is that the people who do not wish for srs but want to have 'feminized' bodies are more like feminized males or more appropriately middle sex.
I think "middle sex" would be non-binary, and there's plenty of enlightening posts on that topic if you search a bit. If you don't mind some advice, I think some of the way you write lacks clarity and you could try to work on that.
Rightly or wrongly the response is predictable in these forums, and if it had been over the line I've no doubt the moderators would have come in and deleted it all. I'd not worry about it much, although I know it feels bad when you post and it either gets ignored, jumped on or moderated (been there, done that).
Differences in opinion when clearly stated are fine. Indeed are healthy and informative.
Invalidation of any group is not.
Personally, the last time I was asked if I had surgery or not I replied that is a matter between me, my boyfriend, my gynaecologist and my surgeon.
Oh I gender identify as female, I am female and my sex is straight female. As for surgery; see above.
Quote from: AnonyMs on May 17, 2015, 03:43:22 AM
Personally I didn't take any offense at what you said or see it as mean. I did see it as "non-understanding" as you put it in the quote above and in the original post where you started with "I can't really understand". That's fine with me, you don't understand is all. Its not like you said its wrong, which no doubt would have had a much stronger reaction. However its its a fairly thin line that separates the two, and one where I'd hesitate before posting.
Well in that case I'm glade. I really do not want to sound like a close minded bigot. At this point since I do have a easily guilt tripped personality I'm wishing to delete my previous messages. It really goes to show how much you'll regret what you say while discussing an issue as touchy as this one is.
QuoteIf you don't mind some advice, I think some of the way you write lacks clarity and you could try to work on that.
I take pride in my writing and as a matter of fact I'm a pretty good at it too. I totally see what you mean about my other messages they are a bit ummm.... unstructured. Retrospectively looking at them I can see the issues with them. Hehe, sounds like I'm making excuses for myself now but when writing those messages I was just really relaxed and was not paying attention to structure, how or if I'm conveying my points coherently or even my spelling, soo yeah.. it's kind of embarrassing to read them.
Quote.... when you post and it either gets ignored, jumped on or moderated (been there, done that).
Not only is it "sad" but it is also annoying and angering when people only respond to negative toned responses from some people while never responding or even paying any minute degree of attention to the positive messages. That's just the way the world is pay attention to the bad things a person does but forget their good deeds.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 17, 2015, 04:10:12 AM
I take pride in my writing and as a matter of fact I'm a pretty good at it too. I totally see what you mean about my other messages they are a bit ummm.... unstructured. Retrospectively looking at them I can see the issues with them. Hehe, sounds like I'm making excuses for myself now but when writing those messages I was just really relaxed and was not paying attention to structure, how or if I'm conveying my points coherently or even my spelling, soo yeah.. it's kind of embarrassing to read them.
Relaxed because you didn't realize you were going for a stroll in a minefield perhaps. You've just made me realize I'm never relaxed when I write here, and I'll thank you for that. It's probably not a good sign, but I do get some else out of it, and that is good.
Quote from: ClaireIvene on May 17, 2015, 04:10:12 AM
Not only is it "sad" but it is also annoying and angering when people only respond to negative toned responses from some people while never responding or even paying any minute degree of attention to the positive messages. That's just the way the world is pay attention to the bad things a person does but forget their good deeds.
I'm pretty sure the world is not going to change, so I just try to let it go. I like arguing way too much, so life's easier that way.
If someone is a woman then there will be no regrets from SRS.
Quote from: Katie on May 17, 2015, 08:50:10 AM
If someone is a woman then there will be no regrets from SRS.
Katie, that's pretty much it. And I'd guess that at least 99% of the girls who begin transition will have nothing more than complete satisfaction with the end results. But there are a few who my not have been ready, or didn't have the surgical results they envisioned. I know of two girls (one personally) who've had difficulties with post surgery complications. But even they only want corrections made, and are for the most part pleased to finally be themselves.
Quote from: suzifrommd on May 16, 2015, 11:50:14 AM
I need strongly to disagree with this.
Not everyone experiences their gender identity in the same way.
Some people know they are a woman. Others just really want to be a woman. There are other ways it feels like as well. Neither is any less or more suitable for GRS.
Yes, we all experience our identity differently. Yet knowing where our own road goes, and who we need to be in the end is the reason for taking the step into surgery. Oh, I have to kick myself and get a bit depressed for finally being ready at an old age, but then I'd never give up this happiness.
Quote from: stephaniec on May 15, 2015, 10:41:47 PM
I'm on the path to GRS and I'm totally sure that once I make the final decision and lie on that table there will absolutely be no regrets. I've lived with this way too long to turn back so I know once its done I'll have fulfilled a life long dream and I'll find peace. I was just curious of those who plan on doing GRS if you have any totally sure way mentally that you know your doing the best thing possible.
Yep GRS is a must for me I am a complete 100% woman and having this extra baggage is the only thing that is capable of igniting my dysphoria I know when I get the surgery 10 years down the road there will be no regrets.
Theres no strategy to make me think this its simply who I am.
My surgery is planned for next year but what i mean to clarify is 10 years down after getting it I wont regret it.
'do you think there is an absolute sure way not to regret GRS'
Hello everyone, I will undergo SRS in 6 days and if ever I had any doubt about my choice it was eliminated yesterday by simply having to use the restroom.
On assignment at The Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas. If you watch E! Network, I help bring you live coverage of the event via satellite!
With that said; No surprise the restrooms are half a mile away. After making numerous trips to the distant restroom, I decided to try one located much closer, in the pool area. After walking through a sea of people I made my way to the women's restroom. Waiting in a long line with others all wearing swimsuits. I noticed everyone looked great. They looked great not because they were gorgeous but because they were all woman without a penis and associated budge.
All of them were enjoying a very simple freedom 'being themselves'. Being a pre-op transsexual woman I am unable to enjoy the same freedom.
My rush to undergo SRS ASAP deals with the pain caused by these daily situations that often cripple me. I am 'intensely transsexual', for me SRS is the only cure and can't come fast enough.
At this point the only regret would be screwing up my SRS date. I have been warned by surgeon not to get arrested, lost, injured, stressed or sick.
If you're looking for some absolute sure ways why SRS is right, here are mine:
I want to wear a black fitted one piece or bikini-bathing suit, hell make it white.
I want to wear fitted skirts, dresses, shorts and jeans.
Enter a public restroom where my only choice is to sit down to pee.
Wake up in the morning and look down and say it's right.
Feel warm water rush past my smooth pubic area while showering.
I want to buy panty liners and even look forward to the occasional 'not so fresh feeling'.
I want to have vaginal intercourse.
My gender will be confirmed. (GCS)
Be taken by a man and for him to take his pleasure.
Absolutely looking forward to missionary style sex.
Receive proper medical care from paramedics/EMT' and first responders (Don't want to be the talk back at the firehouse)
Very sure I could go on and on but most importantly my body will now match my mind. The horror will end. My wish would provide SRS to anyone who needs it. More work is needed to make sure that is more than just a wish.
In closing, yes I am a transsexual woman who wants what other women have, freedom to just be and pursue happiness. My penis gets in the way of all that. It must go!
Thank you
sounds good
Well. I've got a year to make the final decision on my GRS. I'm going to be starting genital electrolysis soon. I'm going to make the appointment in the morning. Within the years time I will have more therapy sessions with my therapist whom I've been seeing for two and a half years . She's talking to the Psychiatrists on staff about how much time they want to spend with me to get the referral letter from them. She's going to give me the other referral letter and my Primary care doctor will give me the letter for having HRT. So in a years time I will be good to go and as I'm lying on the operating table I should be able to say with all awareness lets get this done.I'll report back in a years time and give an update.
There isn't. Sometimes people develop second thoughts/mild/severe regret 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years post SRS.
Whereas they were over the moon with happiness the first few months/years post srs.
(Severe) TS feelings can be dynamic and/or fluctuate over the years, it seems.
thanks for the reply
For me there is one reason and one reason alone. I hate it. I've hated it since puberty and my hatred of it has only grown over the years. Since coming out to myself my hatred of it has grown significantly faster than previously. I don't want SRS I NEED SRS.
With that said I just met a woman that said she loved who she is both inside and out and didn't need nor want SRS.
You need to understand why SRS would be right for you. With my intense hatred, I'm more than reasonably certain I won't regret it.
I'm really at the point to use a legal expression : beyond a reasonable doubt. I've mentally have tried to ignore it since I was a kid. When I was 19 a man made love to me sexually that bypassed the thing and made me feel so much like a woman I've never forgotten that experience. I want so much to experience a man take me into another world., but I also want to be physically anatomically the woman I am inside. I'd also like to wear a very skimpy bikini.
Quote from: Dahlia on May 18, 2015, 07:02:24 AM
There isn't. Sometimes people develop second thoughts/mild/severe regret 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years post SRS.
Whereas they were over the moon with happiness the first few months/years post srs.
(Severe) TS feelings can be dynamic and/or fluctuate over the years, it seems.
Yes, this is possible. But then, so is choosing to
not have SRS, and regretting that choice.
And in either case, the knowledge that "I made the best choice for me, given what I knew at the time" will help immensely to mitigate any regret one might have.
Beyond a reasonable doubt is perfect. I can't claim 100% I won't regret it. I don't think anyone can. But I can beyond a reasonable doubt.
Quote from: stephaniec on May 18, 2015, 11:46:05 AM
I'm really at the point to use a legal expression : beyond a reasonable doubt. I've mentally have tried to ignore it since I was a kid. When I was 19 a man made love to me sexually that bypassed the thing and made me feel so much like a woman I've never forgotten that experience. I want so much to experience a man take me into another world., but I also want to be physically anatomically the woman I am inside. I'd also like to wear a very skimpy bikini.