I have had that question posed to me by preschool children before and again last night when out shopping. Kids are notoriously curious, open and out spoken and I consider it a reasonable question that mostly amuses me. I have replied with, "I used to be more like a boy and now I am more of a girl." One little girl, whose family I know, was not satisfied with that and had more questions that I would not be comfortable answering and then started a repetitious chant of "you're a boy, you're a boy.." This was in a public place and, in my experience, kids have more energy and tenacity at a game that we won't win. They also can be expected to get loud and we may not respond in kind. I just smiled and talked to her mom.
Beyond simple answers, we may risk offending parents and creating a scene where nobody feels good. I like to think there are creative ways to open the education door a bit without inciting offense.
Got any one or two line responses that have worked for you?
I tell them I'm a girl... the same way I tell everyone.
I agree the flat out I'm a girl way is to go and it's what I do. Hugs
Mariah
"What do you think I am?" is one way I've gotten around that question.
Quote from: Nikita Alexa-Lee on May 24, 2015, 02:16:30 PM
I tell them I'm a girl... the same way I tell everyone.
Succinct and true
Quote from: Mariah2014 on May 24, 2015, 02:25:57 PM
I agree the flat out I'm a girl way is to go and it's what I do. Hugs
Mariah
Again, true but their questions suggests they see me as a different sort of girl and i truly am. I want to reward their curiosity with a tiny bit of diversity awareness ;D
Quote from: fennec-fox on May 24, 2015, 02:37:01 PM
"What do you think I am?" is one way I've gotten around that question.
Seems a nice way to engage them
I'm a woman.
As an aside I've been asked this exactly once and that was by a friend's kid and I'm 99% sure they told her beforehand.
I don't respond. It's not my job to educate someone else's kids.
Never had that happen.
I'd try to get a feel for where the parents are. I'll let them answer if they can and want to. I wouldn't say anything unless I had a close relationship with the parent, or it was clear that the parent wanted me to answer.
"I used to be a man. Now I'm a woman," is probably the most honest answer I can think to give.
Haven't had it happen to me but I think I'd just say "I'm a girl", trying to explain variations to a young child in a public place is just going to trip you up.
Truly there can be some jeopardy in responding to children at all but I like the idea of opening minds and helping people understand how much lovely diversity is all around them. I wish there had been role models out in public when I was a kid.
Quote from: Tessa James on May 24, 2015, 02:12:22 PM
... then started a repetitious chant of "you're a boy, you're a boy.."
That's bullying. At that point, I guess I'd try to calmly tell the child that they were hurting me, and ask them to stop. What did the mom do?
Quote from: sparrow on May 24, 2015, 06:24:55 PM
That's bullying. At that point, I guess I'd try to calmly tell the child that they were hurting me, and ask them to stop. What did the mom do?
Yes I suppose so. I have been around lots of kids and raised a couple so I considered it more typical of her age and amusing. Her mother is a friend and tried to point out that I had on a skirt too but that didn't dissuade her. I like your idea though and owning the emotional response rings with honesty even if it might also make me even more vulnerable to a 3 yo tirade. Thank you for that thoughtful response.
Quote from: Tessa James on May 24, 2015, 05:31:00 PM
Truly there can be some jeopardy in responding to children at all but I like the idea of opening minds and helping people understand how much lovely diversity is all around them. I wish there had been role models out in public when I was a kid.
While this is true, trying to get many young children to grasp the complexities of the issue around your gender in a simple sentence is likely to make them more confused. I remember as a five year old I took everything said to me very literally - what I understood about how my mother was pregnant with my brother when she tried to very matter of factly tried to explain it to me doesn't bear repeating. While kids do need to learn about things the truth as told to them can just confuse them more.
Some friends of mine decided to tell their five year old son about me, he was a huge Doctor Who fan and his personal interpretation from that explanation was that I "had regenerated". You should have seen the look of sheer awe in that kid's eyes when he met me... funny, yet he'll probably now spend the next few years believing regeneration is real because of that.
I haven't been asked but I have gotten some very intense stares from little kids, some dropped jaws and a double take or two. It mostly makes me laugh!
I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."
<runs>
Quote from: Tysilio on May 24, 2015, 09:40:21 PM
I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."
<runs>
Lol I have been so tempted to say that before.
I had a one girl at my job that asked me that. I asked her what did she think I was, and she just asked again. Needless to say, after I was done interacting with that child, the grandmother walked away saying "I don't think she likes you." and she was exactly right....lol. This is partly why I hate working with young kids. I try my best to duck kids when I can, but if asked, I just say girl.
Since I don't really pass, I usually don't answer to that question for two reasons:
- I can't say I'm a girl
- If I say I'm a boy, the grown ups will look at me weird since, as I said before, don't pass.
Quote from: ftmax on May 24, 2015, 04:17:22 PM
I don't respond. It's not my job to educate someone else's kids.
This comment feels like home.
One time, I was at a friend's and her niece came in. She asked if I was a boy or a girl and my friend said a girl (I hadn't even came to terms with myself yet but I looked very masculine). No matter how many times she told the little girl, she was SO CONVINCED I was a boy... and she was right!
Little kids are so quickly to judge, or at least that how it feels. It's not their fault but they expect everything and everyone to be so "binarized" (I just made that word up). I'd rather walk through a crowd of grown ups in the mall than to walk down the halls at my nephew and niece's elementary school. The stares from little kids are so HARD and not even subtle... they don't judge you as grown ups, though. I think what they're trying to do, mostly, is to just figure you out, like you're a piece from a puzzle different than the one they're trying to build.
I am 5 foot 14 and they are pretty intimated by me so they don't ask directly. They have picked me out of the crowd and ask mommy while telling half the store. If one had the nerve to ask me I think I would put on my best smile and tell them that I am a friend. The sad part of it is I like children but in the 35 years I have been a woman, not even my nephew or niece have approached me.
I usually just smile and continue on my way. I mean the innocence of children allows them to say what is on their mind, while developed adults will not usually. So take it as a compliment that they have to think about it. It means you are on the right path :P
Quote from: Tysilio on May 24, 2015, 09:40:21 PM
I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."
<runs>
Love this response!
I had this happen a couple weeks back for the first time. I blame loss of T due to lack of funds. Anyway, I just said boy. Then she asked about my 'bulge', meaning my stoma. That was actually more awkward.
Quote from: Ms Grace on May 25, 2015, 05:08:40 AM
Love this response!
I do too, and am tempted to combine it with Dena's suggestion and respond; "Yes and a friendly one" but I can also imagine the hairs on some mom's back rising in response to a "friendly stranger"
Quote from: Audrey_Marie on May 25, 2015, 12:36:22 AM
I usually just smile and continue on my way. I mean the innocence of children allows them to say what is on their mind, while developed adults will not usually. So take it as a compliment that they have to think about it. It means you are on the right path :P
Yes, and it is partly that innocence and openness that intrigues me. I accepted long ago that my late and limited transition would mean I was likely to only be passable as myself but not as a cisgender woman. I am complicated and it is difficult, as Grace and awkward-shark point out, for kids to grasp such depth. This will likely happen for me and others again and I want to be more thoughtfully prepared. Your responses really are helpful, Thanks!!
Tessa : I don't know. If that is your picture, you look better than me as you have a more rounded face than I do. My biggest issue is when I have to talk.Voice surgery hadn't been discovered 30 years ago and I fell into comfort zone until now. In a way it's a good thing because the voice surgery looks like it has reached the point where the right doctor can do wonders and while I want very few things in life, I think this is one of them. As for Full Facial, not at my age.
Thanks Dena and yes, thats me in my parade tutu from Portland Pride 2014. I feel great about being out and am getting to a better comfort zone with the rest of the world. The voice issue is complicated for me as "our Voice" means more than pitch, tone and timbre. But it is also another "gotcha" indicator for being trans rather than cisgender that people, including kids, can pick up on.
Voice was an issue. I was trained very well by my speech therapist and it was more of a degree than just treatment. My ear is trained and it surprised me because for my second post I played some audio and even after over 30 years of not using the training on anyone other than myself, I winched with physical pain at that audio. I knew the condition and understood that where that voice was, it was going to see physical damage if that type of abuse continued. I did my best to post my concerns and only hope my advice is used.
I am stunned by how good the surgical voices are turning out but they require a good deal of training after the surgery. With that training I see no reason why they can't be undetectable to even the trained ear. Sadly my male voice was so low I struggle to get anywhere near the female range and the truth is I don't. At least I am not using a base in public or private with the training I have had. I am beginning to suspect if I had wanted to be a male singer I would have had a good deal of lower range with the proper training but music wasn't my thing. As for my hopes with a surgical voice, I would like to see pitch and the ability to project as my mother had developed hearing issues and I go place where volume is needed. The ability to sing without people sticking fingers in their ears to block the racket would leave me in joy but I would willingly forgo the third for the first two.
The child's mother should have said something to her, and I hope they talked about it later. She just needs to be educated about trans people, and that it is impolite to carry on the way she did.
I have had this question asked several times, mostly from kids at church. we also have an elderly handicapped (the pastors older brother who used to ask every sunday) last week he told me I am a woman, the kids I just tell that in my past life I was a boy and my voice didnt change when I came back. that was the easy way out for me any way.
It happened to me this weekend. If I am presenting male/ androgynous I say I am a girl on the inside. Seems to satisfy them.
My friend's daughter regularly says I look like a girl, to which I reply, so do you.
Quote from: Tessa James on May 24, 2015, 02:12:22 PM
Beyond simple answers, we may risk offending parents and creating a scene where nobody feels good. I like to think there are creative ways to open the education door a bit without inciting offense.
You might say you are a girl (or a boy for ftm people).
And then say if they look into your eyes they can see a girl...
and give them a nice look...
and you have the brain of a girl...
and the rest will follow suit in time.
hugs
Quote from: kittenpower on May 25, 2015, 01:50:29 PM
The child's mother should have said something to her, and I hope they talked about it later. She just needs to be educated about trans people, and that it is impolite to carry on the way she did.
I agree but can't say I raised the most polite kids either. It is a challenge to raise sensitive kids.
Quote from: Jerri on May 25, 2015, 02:25:39 PM
I have had this question asked several times, mostly from kids at church. we also have an elderly handicapped (the pastors older brother who used to ask every sunday) last week he told me I am a woman, the kids I just tell that in my past life I was a boy and my voice didnt change when I came back. that was the easy way out for me any way.
And you are succeeding, one elder kid at a time :D I can only imagine your faith community as better educated because you are there.
Quote from: Chula on May 25, 2015, 02:46:03 PM
It happened to me this weekend. If I am presenting male/ androgynous I say I am a girl on the inside. Seems to satisfy them.
My friend's daughter regularly says I look like a girl, to which I reply, so do you.
Even if she means that as a taunt your answer sounds sweet.
Quote from: Laura_7 on May 25, 2015, 02:50:18 PM
You might say you are a girl (or a boy for ftm people).
And then say if they look into your eyes they can see a girl...
and give them a nice look...
and you have the brain of a girl...
and the rest will follow suit in time.
hugs
Oh I like that "look into my eyes" idea. My eyes used to be the only part of me that did not feel alien prior to transition
Thanks All!
I'm a boy. That's it. Usually that's all they need. Kids will just believe you.
For the odd time they don't, they may say things like "but you sound like a girl" or "I think you're a girl" I just reiterate that I'm a boy. Sometimes I laugh or say that's funny! Or everyone looks or sounds a little different or something along those lines.
Quote from: maxman on May 25, 2015, 04:22:36 PM
I'm a boy. That's it. Usually that's all they need. Kids will just believe you.
For the odd time they don't, they may say things like "but you sound like a girl" or "I think you're a girl" I just reiterate that I'm a boy. Sometimes I laugh or say that's funny! Or everyone looks or sounds a little different or something along those lines.
I like the idea of keeping it light and simple. Weaving in the concept of people all being a little different sounds good too.
Thanks
Well, I identify more to the non-binary side so it's a bit different. I had a little boy (I assume) ask me once. I smiled at him and said "Both." and then gave his mom (I assume) a smile. He said "You can't be a boy and a girl." and I said "Sure you can." gave them both another smile and left with my groceries.
Been around a lot of kids, but never been asked that directly. Not sure how I would respond.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 25, 2015, 04:36:01 PM
Well, I identify more to the non-binary side so it's a bit different. I had a little boy (I assume) ask me once. I smiled at him and said "Both." and then gave his mom (I assume) a smile. He said "You can't be a boy and a girl." and I said "Sure you can." gave them both another smile and left with my groceries.
Oh that is another winner and made me laugh. Cool of you not to assume too much in our transitioning world ;) I also lean to the non binary and am not trying to meet any stereotypes of looking/acting/sounding like a woman. Just being ourselves is perhaps part of why some of us get this question from kids and the "furry eyeball" from adults?
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 25, 2015, 04:36:01 PM
Well, I identify more to the non-binary side so it's a bit different. I had a little boy (I assume) ask me once. I smiled at him and said "Both." and then gave his mom (I assume) a smile. He said "You can't be a boy and a girl." and I said "Sure you can." gave them both another smile and left with my groceries.
Well you coud say there is a word for it, androgynous, which literally means both man and woman.
hugs
Quote from: Laura_7 on May 25, 2015, 04:51:47 PM
Well you coud say there is a word for it, androgynous, which literally means both man and woman.
hugs
At first i thought, thats a lot of syllables for a preschooler and then i imagined some kid looking it up on his digital toy. ;D
Quote from: Laura_7 on May 25, 2015, 04:51:47 PM
Well you coud say there is a word for it, androgynous, which literally means both man and woman.
hugs
I should have mentioned, the child looked about four years old. That's why I kept it on his (my assumption) level, and tried to convey to his mom that (A) I'm not someone to fear, and (B) the curiosity was fine.
Hugs, Devlyn
I was asked this by a child 10-12 years ago (long before T). I was standing in line at the pharmacy and a 4/5 year old was standing there. He said, "Are you a girl or a boy?". I was very amused and said, "Well, what do you think?". He looked me up and down and then said, "Well, I think you are a boy because you are wearing a man's watch and men's shoes". And I just said "correct". He just smiled. The mother was promptly grabbing the kid's arm to pull him away and apologizing, but I smiled and told her it was ok. He could have said "girl because of blah blah blah", and I would have said correct. Being correctly gendered by a child is less important to me than having them think about gender...even if in this case it was the stereotypes that told him I was male. I just loved that he paused and tried to think it through.
I knew the kid was two young to understand/there wouldn't be enough time to explain how sometimes girls wear boy watches and are still girls, or anything. That would have been great though.
I would take the same approach again, if asked. I see no reason to get upset about it. They are not asking because they want to mock us (at least at that young of an age), they are asking because we live in a world that genders people the moment we see them, and they can't put us into a category. So, they "need" to ask. Kids at that age will accept what you tell them. They will say "ok" and then go off to play. They really don't give a rat's a**, they just need to know how to classify us. Gender is very black and white at that age.
Quote from: Bimmer GuyBeing correctly gendered by a child is less important to me than having them think about gender...even if in this case it was the stereotypes that told him I was male. I just loved that he paused and tried to think it through.
This is fantastic.
You get many points for this, in my book. I think part of the problem with this stuff is that we're so sensitized, and it matters so much that the world should see us as we see ourselves. I'm not saying it doesn't matter -- it's hugely important to me -- but there's a time and a place. If we can respond in ways that get kids to think, and to begin to understand that it's not an either/or question, that is so much more valuable than expecting children to meet our emotional need for acceptance. That's not their job.
Quote from: Tysilio on May 25, 2015, 10:59:50 PM
This is fantastic.
You get many points for this, in my book. I think part of the problem with this stuff is that we're so sensitized, and it matters so much that the world should see us as we see ourselves. I'm not saying it doesn't matter -- it's hugely important to me -- but there's a time and a place. If we can respond in ways that get kids to think, and to begin to understand that it's not an either/or question, that is so much more valuable than expecting children to meet our emotional need for acceptance. That's not their job.
You have both nailed that one perfectly IMO. Now if I can only retain this memory and presence of mind for my next opportunity with kids. Thanks
Hasn't arisen since 1985 when I completed my SRS but this did actually happen once in a shopping Mall in Hounslow...
Them "Are you a boy or Girl?"
Me "YES!" [walks off into distance while they scratch their heads.]
:D
Back in the day when I was working at "really popular fast food chain* I got misgendered a lot but I had to wear an id with my female name on it. While waiting in the queue boy kept telling his father "It's a guy." and I just said I'm an alien. I actually said that.
Quote from: Daniel95 on May 28, 2015, 12:58:32 PM
Back in the day when I was working at "really popular fast food chain* I got misgendered a lot but I had to wear an id with my female name on it. While waiting in the queue boy kept telling his father "It's a guy." and I just said I'm an alien. I actually said that.
Yes, i can certainly understand that response as that is how I felt for years
Quote from: Rejennyrated on May 27, 2015, 06:59:10 AM
Hasn't arisen since 1985 when I completed my SRS but this did actually happen once in a shopping Mall in Hounslow...
Them "Are you a boy or Girl?"
Me "YES!" [walks off into distance while they scratch their heads.]
:D
.
Simple and they still have to wonder........hmmm
Quote from: Tysilio on May 25, 2015, 10:59:50 PM
This is fantastic.
If we can respond in ways that get kids to think, and to begin to understand that it's not an either/or question, that is so much more valuable than expecting children to meet our emotional need for acceptance. That's not their job.
Spot on!
Hum, haven't run into this one! Kids either get it right away or... well yeah that's the only experience I've had, aside from arguing with my little cousin for about 3 hours on and off at Christmas on whether or not I was Andrew or [Birthname]. His parents were great and were trying to correct him, he just wasn't getting on board (it's hard for an inquisitive three-year-old, sometimes!). Oh well!
Conversely, I did have an experience on the bus where a little girl of 2 or 3 or so said she wanted to sit in my lap (she was hyped on sugary snacks, I think) and her mom said "You want to sit in her lap?" Her daughter looked at her like she was crazy and said "no that's a boy." The mother tried to correct her, the daughter refused to believe I was a girl, and finally I ended it with "No, I'm a man." I have no problem embarrassing people, apparently :laugh:
If it ever did come up, I think I'd just tell 'em the truth. "I'm a boy." If they prod... I dunno. Just keep insisting, I guess?
that explanation was that I "had regenerated".
[/quote]
Do you have a sonic screwdriver;)
Ha ha Thanks all,
Is the term re-Jennerated coming soon? (Sorry Caitlyn, couldn't resist) Some kids also play with "Transformer toys" that can be a car or a he man. Hmmm??
Quote from: Tessa James on June 03, 2015, 02:19:24 PM
Ha ha Thanks all,
Is the term re-Jennerated coming soon? (Sorry Caitlyn, couldn't resist) Some kids also play with "Transformer toys" that can be a car or a he man. Hmmm??
Only if you all pay my © copyright fee. ;)
My name is Jenny. Prior to training to be a doctor, I was a BBC video editor and I worked on THE Doctor (who). I am also a whovian - and honorary timelady.
I transitioned twice in my life - once in 1964 at the age of 4 and again at the age of 24 - so in a real sense since 1984 I have been RE JENNY RATED ;D and I've been using that handle since 1985 (originally on CB).
which is why all over the world wide interwebz you will find my handle IS REJENNYRATED... © JPHD 1985 :P
Way excellent history, you go back on this Jenny. But a bit puzzling too? Was your 4 year old self allowed or facilitated in transitioning, and for how long? My sister named me Tessa and played with me as a girl when I was a 3 yo and I can only wish it was a FT transition even then.
Quote from: Tessa James on June 04, 2015, 01:25:38 AM
Way excellent history, you go back on this Jenny. But a bit puzzling too? Was your 4 year old self allowed or facilitated in transitioning, and for how long? My sister named me Tessa and played with me as a girl when I was a 3 yo and I can only wish it was a FT transition even then.
My parents didnt believe in enforced gendering Tessa - so when I announced to the world that I wasn't a boy, I was a "girl in diguise" they just went with that, and I became a little almost girl called Jenny. they even found me schools that could cope with my presenting in a rather fluid way. So yes I was facilitated even as far back as 1964. The trouble started in the 1970's when I first sought medical help to escape puberty and was told that the doctors didnt approve of what my parents had done and therefore wouldnt help me until I was 21.
As I had lost the abilty to pass as androgynous so I spent quite a few of the years that followed as a somewhat reluctant male before I was RE Jenny rated in 1984.
but this id off topic - so to get marginally back on track I will observe that while I was growing up I used to get asked the boy/girl question a lot. My standard reply was that I was a girl in disguise.
Quote from: Tessa James on June 03, 2015, 02:19:24 PM
Some kids also play with "Transformer toys" that can be a car or a he man. Hmmm??
Are we seeing a whole generation that will someday go out in public dressed as cars? :o :D
Oh sure! With tail fins and robotic voices. ;D ;D
Anyone know if there is a transformer toy that goes from car to female??
I felt on auto-pilot at times in my life ;)
Kids do have a great sense of and freedom with their imagination.
I've never been asked this before. I would honestly answer that I was a boy. The dialog here reminded me of an interaction I had with my 4 year old grandson. I just came out as trans 7 months ago, but I've always carried myself and a man and dressed as one since I was a teenager. One day I was curious about how the 4 year old viewed gender.
Me: Josiah, are you a boy or a girl?
Josiah: I'm a boy, paw paw
Me: Is paw paw a boy or a girl?
*confused look* Josiah: you a boy paw paw
He answered that without skipping a beat. The look he gave me was hilarious lol
Quote from: teddybear_zach on June 05, 2015, 01:37:20 PM
I've never been asked this before. I would honestly answer that I was a boy. The dialog here reminded me of an interaction I had with my 4 year old grandson. I just came out as trans 7 months ago, but I've always carried myself and a man and dressed as one since I was a teenager. One day I was curious about how the 4 year old viewed gender.
Me: Josiah, are you a boy or a girl?
Josiah: I'm a boy, paw paw
Me: Is paw paw a boy or a girl?
*confused look* Josiah: you a boy paw paw
He answered that without skipping a beat. The look he gave me was hilarious lol
The way you carry yourself and dress must say plenty to the world. congrats for being the real you!
Quote from: Tessa James on June 06, 2015, 10:45:16 AM
The way you carry yourself and dress must say plenty to the world. congrats for being the real you!
Thanks so much. it wasn't easy but I stuck to my guns
Got my first "is that a boy or a girl?" at the grocery store recently. I currently identify as nonbinary, so it was affirming to hear. One kid was asking another, I was surprised and in a hurry, so I didn't take the time to engage them. I was in a plain pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Maybe they're just not used to guys with long hair, but I'd like to think they were seeing the real me. :D
Lol I did not get this by kids but from a young couple when I was in guys clothes they use to say is that a boy or go
I try not to burden children with complex terminology.I say I'm a boy with medical condition..Long live diversity! :)
I admire courage and beauty of people who suffer from different disorders...Similar to this project http://positiveexposure.org/gallery/
"What he found was startling and upsetting. The images that he saw were sad and dehumanizing. In medical textbooks children with a difference were seen as a disease, a diagnosis first, not as people.
So Rick turned his world upside down – he stopped working in the fashion industry and created a not-for-profit organization that he named Positive Exposure."
I worked the Youth Camp 3 shifts at the PTHC (Philly Trans Health Conference). Their were 15 trans kids from 5 to 11 and I was the only trans adult. So I was placed with the trans kids and we had a great time. One little guy asked if I was MTF and I said yes. His reply was I am FTM. My reply that is great then we continued coloring and water colors. I did a lot of bathroom escorting. On the way to the bathroom one boy asked if I was a girl or a boy. I said a little of both. He was happy with that answer.
Quote from: Tysilio on May 24, 2015, 09:40:21 PM
I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."
<runs>
I keep reading your posts in my mind with Sean Connery's voice. Now I picture him bending over to get his face really close to the child's, as if he was about to let them into something, and then saying "Yesh!".
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on May 25, 2015, 04:36:01 PM
Well, I identify more to the non-binary side
Wait, isn't non binary supposed to mean there are no sides? ;D
I only recall being asked this once (by a kid, I've heard it many times from adults), and it was back when I was still presenting androgynously (I identified as intergender for a few years before accepting I was trans).
I asked the kid " What do you think? "
He said "I think you're a little bit of both"
I said "That's cool", he smiled and went back to playing with his cousins.
If this happens again and it needs more explaining I'd like to have something ready. A few days ago someone here, or maybe on another forum, told how they explained some kid what transgender was. I really liked it but I can't remember exactly how it went, I'll try to find it. They knew the parents who in fact participated in the little conversation.
Now, if some parents are offended by either me telling their child I'm a woman/girl, or explaining them simply what being trans means, I'm asking them for their mailing address. When I finally get my SRS I will ask the surgeon that, if there's any unused tissue to be disposed, to put it in a takeout container. Back home I will dry that tissue, turn it into jerky, and mail it to those parents so they can SUCK IT.
Not really, that would be creepy, but that's the spirit.
Quote from: ftmax on May 24, 2015, 04:17:22 PM
I don't respond. It's not my job to educate someone else's kids.
Lol good point
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I thought of another answer that would work for me. Children often have a very creative imagination.
If that same little girl asked me today I might tell her that I am a special fairy girl. ;D
I always say "honey, I'm a girl that used to be a boy." They seem to accept that one. Never once got a follow up question.
I have a son who's seven and a daughter who's four so inevitably I get to meet tons of new kids which will invariably ask the question at one point or another. I openly discuss the transgender topic with them and never had any problem.
I'll often explain that we all have a bit of boy and girl within us, that for most body and soul seem to lean more on one side while for a few there appears to be a contradiction. I have the soul of a girl but had the body of a boy and the problem is being fixed. Kids seem to be happy with this and I like to think that they grow learning about gender differences.
Nowadays, often my own kids will do the explaining! And they often add at the end: "I too am a bit of both!" I'm really proud of them!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
If they ask it that way I just say " No " and watch their confusion
A few months ago my daughter and were at a small family owned business, there was a young boy there that was very excited to show us a lizard that he had caught. After my daughter and I had talked to him for a few minutes about the lizard he had caught he asked me why I looked like a girl but sounded like a boy, I told him that's just the way my voice is he looked back at me for a second and started talking about the lizard again.
Yeah, this has happened to me before but before I could turn around and respond the mother answered for me saying that I'm a boy, not a girl. I found it kind of strange and it kind of had me going full tilt for a moment, before i eventually just left.
Children are naturally curious and often ask questions impulsively. They are also our window to the future and I appreciate those of us who will take the time to help them understand how beautifully diverse their world is.
Thank YOU
"No, are you?"
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Sure it's old but so am I. Heard some good responses the other day "I'm an angel" or "I'm a fairy godmother" ;D
"It doesn't matter what I am" or "I am a person"
Quote from: makipu on January 10, 2016, 02:33:18 PM
"It doesn't matter what I am" or "I am a person"
Yes and yes, those are my most frequent responses to adults ;D Although I also ask, in response to adults "Why does it matter"
Children are pretty cool when it comes to accepting diversity. I met one young lady (about age 8) at a parochial school who asked questions but was one of the most accepting and polite young person I have ever met.
While I haven't been asked that directly, I've had curious stares. One little girl was starting at me just today at Target while I was shopping for a new ladies watch. My mind immediately turns to Christ as I think about what the child is thinking, and how can I, the adult make it easiest on the child. Honestly all I can do with God's love is smile back for
Galatians 3:28 (There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.)
To me it doesn't matter what mankind things. Only God can see my heart. Not Satan, not my girlfriend, or anyone. I just want to do good by God. At the same time I really want to be a pretty woman someday. I've learned that changing how I feel inside is far more important to me than how I look outside. And if I feel comfy cozy inside, I will express that to anyone. In my view, children should be protected and comfortable, however I express myself to them :)