So this weekend I went out of town in celebration of a friends birthday. It turned okay, but I'm having some minor little problems here. First off, I don't know if this influences your answers or anything but I'll throw it out there just incase. I've been on HRT for like a week now (not sure if it matters or not).
Moving on though, I was with a good friend and two of her friends this weekend. And well, by the time the weekend ended, I was pretty much depressed about some issues, and pretty severely. I know I'm probably going to get the "who cares" response to these issues but I'll throw them out there anyways because it's killing me.
First off, after being around them for so long it sort of seemed depressing that I am / and have been missing out on a wonderful life like them. It kills me so much to see the happyness and life in them, while looking into myself and just seeing this black hole. It just feels like they all enjoy so much more out of life, while I'm still stuck here really disliking my life.
Secondly, this is the part where people will bash if they probably do, but I feel like I'm possibly going to be the biggest freak and stand out person alive if I ever even get through this transition. Anything over like 5'9 is pretty ridiculous and stands out like no other it seems like. I don't even see anyone taller than that it seems like. Not to mention while your tall you get that beautiful horrible curse of huge freakish hands and feet too. It's just so disatisfying about everything about my body. Not only have I missed out on my while life so far, but while in the process I became some freak who stands out like no other it feels like.
I know there isn't much reason to this thread, but it's just something I can't stand. There's just NOTHING you can do about it. One of things that you will be dissapointed with for the rest of your life, and I hate that. It's just not possible to be anything close to normal, and it really hurts.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, has a problem to deal with in their life. You would be surprised at how many people feel just as you do without having GID. There will always be people who will appear happier than we do. I'm not chastising you. I'm only pointing out that we seem to feel so isolated and we are not.
I am 5'11". I am not blessed with small and petite features. I stand out in a crowd because of my size. But I fit in because I act like I fit in. It is natural for me to fit in now. It feels good. I enjoy being with people. I enjoy talking to people I don't know.
I understand your feelings. I have felt your despair. I have been in that pit.
Here, give me your hand. Let me help you up.
Chin up.
Cindi
Cindi, my mum is 5'11", and she so does not stand out in a crowd, maybe people are shorter in your part of the world :D.
I'm 6'5", and I guess I do just a bit. I definitely dont feel ridiculous though, nor do I think that it will be something I will ever regret. Before I transitioned I thought I would - it just didnt turn out that way. Instead of feeling ridiculous, I feel confident, attractive, I enjoy being the girl that stands out in the crowd just a little. Didn't se that one coming, but I sure as hell am not complaining :).
Well, that's me anyway.
Megan
Quote from: MeganRose on September 04, 2007, 05:33:58 AM
Cindi, my mum is 5'11", and she so does not stand out in a crowd, maybe people are shorter in your part of the world :D.
I'm 6'5", and I guess I do just a bit. I definitely dont feel ridiculous though, nor do I think that it will be something I will ever regret. Before I transitioned I thought I would - it just didnt turn out that way. Instead of feeling ridiculous, I feel confident, attractive, I enjoy being the girl that stands out in the crowd just a little. Didn't se that one coming, but I sure as hell am not complaining :).
Well, that's me anyway.
Megan
Just hopefully have to give it time and it will change. Thanks for the advice, just struggling with it lately for some reason. I really don't understand why because in all honesty it doesn't matter that much. Just another way things get escaladed because of yourself I guess.
Quote from: shanetastic on September 04, 2007, 11:24:42 AM
Just another way things get escaladed because of yourself I guess.
Yup, tell me about it.
Hey, I'm 6'2", and honestly... it's no big deal. I was absolutely *obsessed* with my height when trying to deal with all this, but the really weird thing is once I started transitioning, I stopped thinking about it really. Ya kinda just get lost and content in being YOU. In hindsight, I felt more like a "freak" trying to be a guy than I do as a 6'2" girl now.
Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a way to "think" these fears away though. It just seems to fall away on it's own as you transition. What seems freakish and bizarre now gets normalized as you go (which to me is THE key to transition)... and it's just no big deal. People just don't pay as much attention as you'd think.
As for people... well, if you scratch below the surface, you may find that *everyone* has problems. EVERYone is struggling to be "who they are" against the tide of expectations society throws at us. Many, many people feel they've missed their calling, missed out on life, aren't living true to themselves... in fact, you may find that people *thank you* for providing them with the inspiration to be who THEY need to be.
~Kate~
Don't feel bad! Do you know the average height of fashion models? They're mostly in the range of the 5'8" and above. Besides that, this day and age GGs are also getting taller. Being tall isn't that much of an issue anymore. I'm 5'10" and I know a few GGs,that are about my height and taller. I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about things like that. ;) I believe that being TG we've got other things that we should worry about more. I think we tend to be more self conscious about ourselves, but if you stop and take a look at everyone else, you might not be so different. ;)
Quote from: redfish on September 04, 2007, 04:24:28 PM
It kind of sucks, but it's not really that terrible.
I'm 5'11 and I don't really stand out that much.
I'm really glad i'm 5' 7" but still wish i was shorter......around here in the area where I live most Genetic females are about 5'4"......
I will chime in here too. I'm 5'9", but I have big shoulders, larger than most men and my arms are much larger that most men and I have lost a lot of muscle. My hands are bigger than most men, but I go about my day and I don't get stared at and I'm treated like a lady. You see, that I have seen a woman (GG) who was bigger than me. I'm not tall, just big. My measurements are 49-37-47. I have C-cups and they don't look that big on me. We all get a little thin skinned at times. As Cindi said chin up.
Sheila
Quote from: shanetastic on September 04, 2007, 12:47:35 AM
I know there isn't much reason to this thread, but it's just something I can't stand. There's just NOTHING you can do about it. One of things that you will be dissapointed with for the rest of your life, and I hate that. It's just not possible to be anything close to normal, and it really hurts.
Yes, there is nothing you can do about height. No sort of Ousterhout surgery will reverse it. You are stuck with your height as of 2007. You will shrink a bit as you grow older, but so will the other women.
That being said, I myself am 5' 12" :) and I too was worried about the height thing at first. But once I started going out, I realized that being tall is a minor thing. Ironically,
the thing you have to remember is not to slouch being a tall woman. I'm serious, that's the best advice I can give you.
Stand tall sis!
I'm a big person 6 ft 3 large hands and huge ft. Life sucks , doesn't it.
Quote from: Diane on September 04, 2007, 08:41:00 PM
I'm a big person 6 ft 3 large hands and huge ft. Life sucks , doesn't it.
I don't know if i said that earlier. . . I might have depending because my mood was rather sad that night. But, regardless, I know it doesn't suck just dissapointing about what you have to adapt to. Wouldn't it just be easier to be born the right way after all? :P
I feel tiny reading this thread... I'm only 4'22" ;)
No, seriously, the most impressive effects that HRT has had on me were it took an inch and a half off my height, and I went down one whole shoe size. So there is hope.
As for the that pesky contrast between everyone else being normal and me being the odd freak out, yeah-- I just try not to let it bother me. I'm pretty cool in my own way. I like being me and letting everyone see that.
A wise woman I respect a lot, when she heard me saying I'm weird, answered: "No-- what you are is authentic."
I'm going with "authentic."
Quote from: Diane on September 04, 2007, 08:41:00 PM
I'm a big person 6 ft 3 large hands and huge ft. Life sucks , doesn't it.
I remember going to a transsexual psychotherapy group a few times and everyone towered above me......there were a lot of very tall girls there but they were very confident and self assured...
When I've been to London or go there to a concert I have also seen some genetic females tower above me. A lot of young females are tall these days...
Some people are tall. Some people are short. How does that affect the way the world turns?
All I know is that I'm rather tall, and it doesn't mean anything except exactly that, if you measure my vertical height I'm a bit taller than a lot of the people I meet. It doesnt affect my life in any serious way (except for the whole hitting my head on low doorways thing :/ ). I'm tall, and I'm a girl. Wow, crazy. It means nothing.
If you need something to worry about, I suggest going past the whole height issue and finding something that actually makes sense to freak out over. No-one cares. Some girls are tall. Some guys are short. People in general understand this. If you don't, I suggest you try to. You might feel better :).
Megan
Most transwoman tower above me. I am 5'9", finding womens clothing is pretty easy for me, as I fall into a very standard size range as far as cloths and shoes too (even though at a womens 10 I am right at the edge). I have fairly small spindly hands too.
Being over 5'11" (anything over is outside of the normal female range) is a strike against you, but its not a total detraction. Same goes for your large hands and feet. Being 6'3" though is only a detraction for one thing in the long run: finding cloths. It will be your face and your overall appearance that will be a much bigger detractor than anything else. Your size may raise eyebrows, but it does not mean you will not pass.
Quote from: Amy T. on September 06, 2007, 10:48:33 AM
Most transwoman tower above me. I am 5'9", finding womens clothing is pretty easy for me, as I fall into a very standard size range as far as cloths and shoes too (even though at a womens 10 I am right at the edge). I have fairly small spindly hands too.
Being over 5'11" (anything over is outside of the normal female range) is a strike against you, but its not a total detraction. Same goes for your large hands and feet. Being 6'3" though is only a detraction for one thing in the long run: finding cloths. It will be your face and your overall appearance that will be a much bigger detractor than anything else. Your size may raise eyebrows, but it does not mean you will not pass.
I've not seen many genetic females anywhere near approaching 5' 11" (where do you live Amy? Germany?) most genetic famales are the average 5' 5".......I'm 5' 7" so I'm taller than the average female but most guys are taller than me...
Quote from: Berliegh on September 07, 2007, 04:59:06 AM
I've not seen many genetic females anywhere near approaching 5' 11" (where do you live Amy? Germany?) most genetic famales are the average 5' 5".......I'm 5' 7" so I'm taller than the average female but most guys are taller than me...
The woman I work with is around 6'1". Her teenage daughters are around 6'0" and 6'1"... and still growing.
My wife's friend was almost as tall as me.
I've seen women as tall or taller than me (6'2") when shopping. It's rare for sure, but not *bizarre* rare.
Yes, the *average* is much shorter, but I'm just saying it's not like being 6-footish is "omg! no way!" to people.
I'm in Pennsylvania, USA.
~Kate~
Who the hell cares how tall people are?
It has nothing to do with gender. Tall women, short men, its all normal.
Just deal with it, move on, and care about something that actually means something. I've met girls taller than me, I've met guys taller than me, I'v met guys a lot shorter than me that are attracted to taller girls. It's the way the world works.
Height means nothing, except just that.
Megan
Quote from: MeganRose on September 07, 2007, 07:16:54 AM
Who the hell cares how tall people are?
It has nothing to do with gender. Tall women, short men, its all normal.
Just deal with it, move on, and care about something that actually means something. I've met girls taller than me, I've met guys taller than me, I'v met guys a lot shorter than me that are attracted to taller girls. It's the way the world works.
Height means nothing, except just that.
Megan
I have it was just that one day phase thing Megan. Everyone has odd days :D
The grass always looks greener on the other side. I'm 5'5 and wish I was taller, even at the cost of larger feet and hands. But I guess we always want what we "think" we don't have.
Sure I'm comfortable in my skin, However, we all feel discouraged at times. No matter what size we are. I understand your disappointments, even short girls get them. All things come to pass, and with time we grow comfortable with ourselves.
One day someone will look at you and say, WOW! She so statuesque and confident. I want to be just like her. So, prepare for the day, when someone looks to you with admiration. We all go through our quirky stage. The Cocoon before the butterfly, take time to develop your wings.
Quote from: Berliegh on September 07, 2007, 04:59:06 AM
Quote from: Amy T. on September 06, 2007, 10:48:33 AM
Most transwoman tower above me. I am 5'9", finding womens clothing is pretty easy for me, as I fall into a very standard size range as far as cloths and shoes too (even though at a womens 10 I am right at the edge). I have fairly small spindly hands too.
Being over 5'11" (anything over is outside of the normal female range) is a strike against you, but its not a total detraction. Same goes for your large hands and feet. Being 6'3" though is only a detraction for one thing in the long run: finding cloths. It will be your face and your overall appearance that will be a much bigger detractor than anything else. Your size may raise eyebrows, but it does not mean you will not pass.
I've not seen many genetic females anywhere near approaching 5' 11" (where do you live Amy? Germany?) most genetic famales are the average 5' 5".......I'm 5' 7" so I'm taller than the average female but most guys are taller than me...
I live in the US where women in the upper range (5'6"-5'10") are pretty common, but once it breaks 5'11" the percentage of women drops off a cliff. Certain cities though...are the exception in the US and have a higher percentage of tall women because of genetic and ethnic backgrounds.
There is a statistical range considering height. 5'5" is an average, but there is range in which most of population falls before the percentages drop below 1%.
This is just general statistics. But at 5'9" I am tall in the US for female, but not uncommon or rare. Any female over 5'11" is very rare.
http://www.allcountries.org/uscensus/230_cumulative_percent_distribution_of_population_by.html
Its a little out of date, but still accurate for the most part.
Basically at 5'9" I fall into about 4% category. Not to common, but not uncommon or even rare.
Generally speaking there is the 99% factor. That is where the "normal" range begins and stops. Anybody outside that range is considered very rare (which means less than 1% of the population is over that particular height).
http://www.tallpages.com/uk/index.php?pag=ukstatist.php
The reason why US tends to closely follow Germany is the Caucasian population in ethnicity is heavily Eastern European, Irish, and you guessed it...German. All of which track fairly tall for both men and women. African American women are often even taller. It has come down a little in the US, but largely because of the increase in Latino population, which tends to be a bit shorter.
Statistics are fun.
Generally speaking, people will be more likely to look at you because of this, but that does not impede passing, it just means it is something rare. In fact if you pass it might be to your benefit, depending on other factors which are much more important and CAN be changed...like your face. But you will get more looks and stares. So if you are not a fan of unwanted attention, you better get used to it.
Quote from: Kate on September 07, 2007, 07:07:16 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on September 07, 2007, 04:59:06 AM
I've not seen many genetic females anywhere near approaching 5' 11" (where do you live Amy? Germany?) most genetic famales are the average 5' 5".......I'm 5' 7" so I'm taller than the average female but most guys are taller than me...
The woman I work with is around 6'1". Her teenage daughters are around 6'0" and 6'1"... and still growing.
My wife's friend was almost as tall as me.
I've seen women as tall or taller than me (6'2") when shopping. It's rare for sure, but not *bizarre* rare.
Yes, the *average* is much shorter, but I'm just saying it's not like being 6-footish is "omg! no way!" to people.
I'm in Pennsylvania, USA.
~Kate~
I actually think women in general are a lot taller in the U.S.A than in England, U.K
I'm 5'9" and I pointed that out to my therapist as a negative about myself. She then said most supermodels are around that tall or taller. Gave me a little more confidence. :)
But if there was some kind of shrink ray, I would like to be a bit shorter.
Quote from: Amy T. on September 07, 2007, 04:51:26 PM
I live in the US where women in the upper range (5'6"-5'10") are pretty common, but once it breaks 5'11" the percentage of women drops off a cliff. Certain cities though...are the exception in the US and have a higher percentage of tall women because of genetic and ethnic backgrounds.
There is a statistical range considering height. 5'5" is an average, but there is range in which most of population falls before the percentages drop below 1%.
1% is still a very large number of people. If one out of every hundred women I see is over 5'9" I would say it is pretty common. My girlfriend is 5'11" and passes quite well! Often times we find ourselves in line at the store with a GG who is 2 or 3 inches taller than she is. Height becomes an issue when you act like it is an issue. Yes, I do know some girls who are 6'3" + , and they do have some issues with being outed due to size, but this I believe is in conjunction with other traits, and how they carry themselves. I have a friend who is 6'4" and get compliments all the time on her looks, and her height. She has been mistaken for a fashion model (an I once again think that this is due to the way she acts)
I am 5'9" and I get people telling me all the time that I am tall, so it is all relative. If everyone you know is 5'4" then you will have a hard time if you are 6'4", but for most of us (at least in the US) There is enough diversity of height that you will meet tall women regularly, and shouldn't have too much of an issue. Sadly we are stuck with the height we have, so I would say that you need to concentrate more on your positives, and don't worry about the height.
The more you worry about it, the more it will become an issue. Confidence will cure more things than you can imagine.
Hugs
Mila
Quote from: Lianne on September 07, 2007, 02:09:13 PM
The grass always looks greener on the other side. I'm 5'5 and wish I was taller, even at the cost of larger feet and hands. But I guess we always want what we "think" we don't have.
you are just the right height Lianne .....I'm 5' 7" and for me personally it's too tall..
Since there's only 0.3% of the female population in the US that's 6 foot and above (in 12M of population NYC metro area that would mean 30K) , I always found doubtfull when somebody claims to have seen a 6 foot 3 women (or two!!) when there are probably only about 1-2K women in NYC metro who would fit this bill!!
Almost every time when somebody claims to me that so and so is taller than me I find that this isn't true at all when I meet them in person (I find that somehow disapointing, I want there to be many taller women than me). Quebec women on average are even smaller than the US average at 63 inch, which means there's just 1000 women 6 foot and above in the whole 4M Montreal metro area (I've never seen any of them).
In the younger US population, there may be a 1 inch average height advantage over 30 years ago (debatable since US height progress has stagnated lately), which would translate to probably 0.5% (instead of 0.3% ) of women being taller or equal to 6 foot. In some limited geographical regions with specific population mix, this undoubtably goes up to 1%, but again 6 foot 3 women would still be at less than a tenth of percent there.
Quote from: Ashley Michelle on September 10, 2007, 08:52:27 AM
i have two girls in my law school class of 90 who are above 6 ft.
If I moved to the U.S.A I'd look quite small then at 5' 7"........
Quote from: Berliegh on September 11, 2007, 04:45:30 AM
Quote from: Ashley Michelle on September 10, 2007, 08:52:27 AM
i have two girls in my law school class of 90 who are above 6 ft.
If I moved to the U.S.A I'd look quite small then at 5' 7"........
I'd say pretty average :) Tall in the area in which I live is probably above 5'9''.
I never gave my height a second thought, nor the size of my hands. I had a friend who was 5'6" whose hands and fingers were massive by comparison to mine. I wore a size 10 ring and she couldn't get it past the second joint on her ring finger.
I used to think of myself as tall until I began to notice how many younger women are as tall as me (5'11.5") or taller, and wider. I don't know about the stats on height for women in any given place but I have been a part of the crowd in the U.S. and Canada at times and I am by no means tall enough to get a second look.
For me, I am as I was made and I am proud and happy to be me. I dress according to my activity, keep my hair styled somehow, my nails done, and until someone decides to make restaurants for people not as tall as me only, I go on about my business.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Be happy with who you are and consider if you can contribute to the happiness of others. That seems to keep my mind off the trivia in life.
Wing Walker
Posted on: September 12, 2007, 12:15:07 AM
How do I overcome being 5 ft 11.5 in tall, with somewhat large hands and other skeletal parts that I was born with?
Simple: I pay it no mind.
There are many tall ones with broad shoulders and sturdy hands among women younger than I am. I don't worry about fitting in nearly as much as they do. I shop wherever I please, try before I buy, and walk like I am the most confident woman there is. That's because I might just be her.
It's not hard to enjoy yourself, who you are and as you are, with appropriate clothing, hair style, and makeup.
"As to beauty, I know I'm no star. There are others more pretty by far. But my face, I don't mind it because I'm behind it. It's the people in front that I jar." --- Abraham Lincoln, or so I'm told
Hope this helps.
Wing Walker
Quote from: Wing Walker on September 22, 2007, 06:07:34 AMFor me, I am as I was made and I am proud and happy to be me.
Right on--that's the perfect statement on this question.
QuoteSimple: I pay it no mind.
There's the difference between us: I positively
enjoy being 5'10". Tall women are hot.
I don't care in the slightest whether I pass. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. What I do care about is being elegant and beautiful in my own way, which I have a talent for. My height only helps.
Another thing my short friend pointed out to me: Tall women naturally tend to have a more robust bone structure, proportional to our stature. So we're not as freakish as we might perceive ourselves.
Hi
I am 5'3" tall 120lbs and I have cultivated my hair to the length as you see it in my photo to the left of this window, the photo was taken last winter.
I suppose I could say I slowly transitioned over the course of ten years until 7years ago when I came out full time and I had the surgery four years ago a grand total of 13 years all tole.. Maybe I was lucky but not a soul has given me the gears or dandruff over who I present, who I present is who I am. Just another woman.
Hmmm back when I was younger i actually hated to be the tiniest among my male friends. How little did I know that I would some day feel that my shortness would be a blessing. The only disadvantage is I need to drag a chair around to get stuff on the top shelf in the cupboards.
There are so many twists and turns and trials on the road of life that we have to suffer through in order to get where you want to be. But once one gets there and becomes comfortable in their own skin then the twists and turns and tribulations in the road of life gets smoother and easier to navigate.
Cindy