So I've been out of hormones for about two weeks, and in a desperate attempt to stop myself from getting ugly again I started taking an herbal supplement for menopausal women. Thankfully I'm getting more hormones this week. But my confidence has been extremely low since I ran out of my hormones, I have a lot of trouble being at all confident without them :(
I'm on a social networking site called Meetme, and I usually never get clocked since I started using the first picture I have down below. I actually get a lot of men telling me they want to eat me out and things like that, excuse the TMI lol.
But I got clocked twice today, once by a man who was a bit of a jerk so I didn't really care what he thought of me (I have no attraction to men anyway), but the other person was a girl, she told me I "look trans" and that she could tell I'm transgender.
Yes I've only been on hormones for about five weeks, and expecting to be anywhere near passable after just five weeks of hormones is really unrealistic, especially considering how horribly ugly and masculine I was before I started hormones.
But I thought I was pretty passable and looked good. Am I just being deluded.? Do I really look that manly and gross, and do I really "look trans".? What exactly is wrong with me that makes me "look trans" or look manly? Please be honest with me, I can take it. Here's my photo, the one I have as my profile pic on Meetme:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F2hs4ugx.jpg&hash=d82b02c3d2926534d43c72c01722ac18c9e1c47f)
Here's another one with a different expression and a better angle:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F1588uo3.jpg&hash=f1f63293b183a6d62b6f191db69ef9ac4329576b)
Honey I think you look really cute in these pix and don't see any strongly masculine features at all from the front. Maybe a profile photo would help us comment more?
Sometimes it not facial features that people react to at all - it could be facial expression, voice, posture, gait and other mannerisms. If you're not feeling confident, it will show up in all of the above...
Thank you. :)
And no I was only clocked by my pictures. My personality/mannerisms/walk are all extremely feminine, and my voice sounds decently good considering I'm self taught and can't afford a voice coach.
Here's a couple other photos, including profile shots:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F29azl0g.jpg&hash=cd8870d4e6b13a9b6091bf5ffd53422325fa2e3c)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.tinypic.com%2F50fsde.jpg&hash=19d3a9d576169235166a9fd22eb6e07681060165)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi57.tinypic.com%2F2pt8k8x.jpg&hash=0fcd724dda4fa582bc42036808d1f52908cba76f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi57.tinypic.com%2F28bzbpt.jpg&hash=8077295a2433652ce05cada898d099937e0d1a03)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F11liyi9.jpg&hash=e704a2749a960bec2a8b217a209a5a2a713b5e6a)
OK, sorry, now I understand. Clocked from photos only.
Well, I looked at all of your photos and, to me, your facial features are well within the feminine range. Even the cleft in your chin is common in some very attractive models.
Also, you have beautiful skin. :)
Sometimes people are just mean...
Quote from: Eveline on May 26, 2015, 03:17:50 PM
OK, sorry, now I understand. Clocked from photos only.
Well, I looked at all of your photos and, to me, your facial features are well within the feminine range. Even the cleft in your chin is common in some very attractive models.
Also, you have beautiful skin. :)
Sometimes people are just mean...
Haha thank you!(x
Yes haha, I'm very lucky because I'm able to make the cleft work and look cute. It's also because HRT reduced my cleft by a bit, which is strange. o.o
Yeah I guess I'm just being too hard on myself.. Considering I literally looked disfigured before I began HRT, it's a miracle my hormones have affected me anywhere near this fast. I've never heard of a trans girl having HRT results this fast. I look like I've had extensive surgery when I compare an old photo of me from before HRT to one of the photos I posted here after just five weeks. I should seriously count my lucky chickens instead of being oversensitive because two people over the course of like a month clocked me, out of the probably thousands of people that viewed my profile.
I just get very emotional, self conscious, and oversensitive without my hormones. Estrogen makes most other people emotional. It actually does the opposite for me, it calms me down and keeps my emotions in check. High levels of testosterone are what makes me emotional, actually.
Before hormones, I depended on the opinions of other people for my own self worth, which did not work out so well because I was so severely ugly and completely friendless. Not fun. xD
When I was on hormones I didn't really care what anyone thought of me, as long as I was happy with myself and had at least a couple of friends.
But now without my hormones I'm starting to go back to depending on the opinions of other people to form my own self worth.
Whatever, I'll survive a couple more days without hormones.
Thank you I really needed that ! :laugh:
I wouldn't worry about what some people - male or female - say online. Some people are intentionally horrible, and that woman may say that to every other woman she sees as attractive just to mess with them.
I'm super envious of your "starting" point, you're doing so well. After almost 6 months of HRT though, I can see a few slightly-clockable features that will change. You still have some visible neck/chest muscle and contours, and since your skin hasn't "plumped up" with fat padding yet to smooth it out, it can still look androgynous in a top like that. Also the short hair of course, it's gorgeous, but also androgynous. Sometimes people will clock andro as male, but don't take it personally.
Haha thanks. c: My neck and chest aren't anywhere near as muscley as they were before HRT.. I've lost roughly 35% of the muscle I used to have there. And my biceps used to have a circumference of over 16 inches, now they're at 13 inches.
I don't see how short hair with a barette in it and a bandana through it is anywhere near androgynous.. xD I mean if I had no hair accessories in it, yeah, that would look androgynous. Hence one reason why I have accessories in it at all times.
The strange thing is, I look MUCH more masculine with longer hair, believe it or not.
Quote from: PsychedelicSage on May 26, 2015, 04:26:02 PM
... The strange thing is, I look MUCH more masculine with longer hair, believe it or not.
Me too. i always wear it up.
The problem is the photo angle and how you are dressed - sexy. Don't wear sexy in the first months, this will get you clocked. Sexy is just for special occasions, so when somebody wears sexy, it just shows and attracts negative attention which means more scrutinity, therefore clocked. Also, your frame looks larger because you took the photo bottom-up, it makes your shoulder look large and emphasizes your neck. Just wear nice, low key girl clothes, center the photo on your face and you should have no trouble at all! Your face looks very feminine already.
in all honesty, what I see in your pics is a pretty girl.
I see a pretty girl in all your pictures.
The internet, or at least the majority of it you just gotta take with a grain of salt. Sometimes people are out there just to mess with anyone, and in a daze from boredom or spite.
I would get spotted right off in that top because my shoulders are broad so I need something with sleeves. When shoulder pads were the thing, first thing I would do was to rip them out. The garments still fit correctly with my body filling in the space were the pads used to be.
Another issue I have is a big chest cavity. It's not so big that it prevented me from wearing a bikini but I wasn't next to a GG in the same outfit were somebody could compare the two. Only reason I think I got away with the bikini is because I do have big hips that balance out the shoulders. it works when you are almost naked but not so well when wearing clothes.
I am a bit surprised I didn't see it here, but it was well known in our group that you only need to look at the hands to see if the other person is TS. After years of fitting gloves on both genders I can say it's absolutely true. GG hands almost always take a glove size 8 or less where as men are around 10 or higher. Also a woman has thin and delicate hands were a man has chunky muscular hands. Is that always true? No and that was why we had to carry all sizes from 6 to 12 including the half sizes.
Can you do anything about the hands - no other than if you think somebody is looking hold one hand inside the other so they don't get a good look. My hands are on the small size of the male range so that helps but if I put my had up agains a small woman hand, mine are about an inch longer.
Well I'm not going to dress like I'm going to a funeral lol! I couldn't pull off dressing androgynously either, I would look straight up androgynous. I like to dress really girly. If I don't I'll probably be seen as a "gay guy". And I don't even dress exactly like that when I actually go out, it's mainly just for taking pictures or sitting around the house or hanging out at a friend's house. When I go out I usually wear white leggings, a long white cami, and a tight black hoodie unzipped a third of the way or this black shirt:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F81nY06FuT7L._UX522_.jpg&hash=025a2577216ab497298fc98473fcec2794e87064)
My body actually looks extremely feminine. I just didn't take totally full body pics, you can't really see my hips in those pictures. I actually have a great figure for only five weeks of HRT (my body did not have a single curve ANYWHERE before), my measurements are in my signature. It's mostly my face that I'm worried about. Not so much anymore because of everyone on this thread c: This is kind of a full body shot, keep in mind it's taken from above so my shoulders look a bit bigger than they are. Not wearing a corset or anything in this one:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.tinypic.com%2F2u59q1j.jpg&hash=dd25e6cf4f099487177ab147a91202e81aea147c)
And actually I have small hands.. my hands are about the size of my mother's and she's a small woman. My hands aren't even that muscular xD But like I said, after a longer time on HRT the muscles even in my hands should reduce at least a little bit.
To be honest, your chest is a giveaway. Your chin could be too but eh, not as much. Really all you need is some time. Your chest will fill out and you'll be clocked less often if at all. If you want you could just wear certain bras that would give you more form for now.
Ah okay. How exactly is my chest a giveaway.? It doesn't look masculine at all to me.
I've seen genetic women with FAR worse chins than me actually lol..
My chin is a hundred times better than it used to be though.
*cringes* Here's a pic of me pre HRT, prepare to puke in your mouth a little, lmfao. :laugh:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.tinypic.com%2F2ciekpi.jpg&hash=0ab5b71675005caa6e27fc122598e3837bf5b2e6)
No, you don't look manly or unpassable. You just hit two potholes in life's road on the same day.
It does to me because probably a combination of dress and just not developed fully yet. You have a cute face and pretty eyes though. Maybe a bit more colored shadow to bring more attention to your eyes. Another thing that helped me personally was a different pair of glasses. It enhances certain features. Women tend to have more roundish features while men are...blocky.
I draw a lot and i give art advice for my current job position so this is strictly from that ang
Also i find you pretty attractive in that pic but that's me.
Hi PsychedelicSage, I reckon your pics are georgeous... I don't pick anything to get concerned over...
Beautiful...
L Katy :-*
You look beautiful to my old eyes, but I guess that any of us could be picked apart if put under a microscope. Just be your feminine self every minute that you can and more and more people will just accept you for the beautiful woman that you are, and whatever male characteristics that remain will be lost in your feminine beauty. I am just disappearing into becoming an invisible old granny who most people do not see anyway. Good luck and be happy. A good part of not being clocked is not reacting when you think you are, so that people will second guess there guess, and only see the female in you.
To be honest, I love the full body shot in long sleeves and you have a fantastic body however I do see the problem and it is the shoulders. They are so much wider that they catch the eye when the eye should be looking at your incredibly small waist. Now I suspect you are going to have more problems with women picking you out that men because women are more familiar with the female figure. I am not sure how to deal with it but a different color top and bottom might help. What ever you do, if shoulder pads come back in, don't use them. You might have better luck with something strapless than with thin straps as straps that narrow accent the width of your shoulders.
In any case, other than the shoulder issue, you have that look down and there isn't anything you can do to improve it.
After though, the hormones will pad out the hip about crotch level and below adding the appearance of mass in your lower body. This should offset the appearance of the wide shoulders and balance out your figure. Five week of growth isn't enough to make much difference in your figure yet but I suspect it will and may solve your problem as long as you are careful about thin straps. Even GGs know what works with their body and what they should stay away from. No woman can wear every fashion out there and I find some years the fashion have shifted to the point that nothing will work for me. Clothes last so long for me that I prefer a classic look that stays in fashion. You on the other had appear very young I can understand you wanting some a little more up to date but next time you try out fashion, look in the mirror at your shoulders first and then your hips. That will tell you what another woman will see.
And you can always dramatically roll your eyes, and sigh. Remember they're the jerk that got it wrong.
I couldn't quite tell from the photos, but clothes are essentially an elaborate rouse to draw attention to your assets and imply/accentuate an hourglass figure. Scoop neck and deep v-neck shirts tend to make your shoulders look smaller and elongate your neck. Cap-sleeve and strappy or tops with busy embellishments on the shoulders or chest draw attention to your breast and shoulder size or lack thereof. To me, it seemed like you are a bit too close to the camera, and that the clothes weren't as flattering as you might want. Skinny jeans are also problematic for those of us with narrow hips. On me, tops that flare at the bottom and flared/A-line dresses/skirts that break above or below the knee, and straight/boot cut jeans seem to be the most flattering.
If you're familiar with art concepts, the scoops and flares of clothing disrupts the lines of your body by making it less boxy. Women with ample hourglass features often wear clothes that deemphasize them. And some people wear maxi-dresses because they don't care about flattering their figure, as far as I can tell.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hmm...first of all, I am *so* jealous of your looks!
Before I transitioned, people told me I looked like Steven Siegal...now, after 3 years+ on HRT, I look like Steven with long hair and moderate "drag."
You are beautiful, and have a very good looking feminine body.
That being said, I will say that your profile pic on meet me does have a faint appearance of being trans...and after several minutes of looking at it and the others I still can't put my finger on it. Your profile pics look much more womanly (less/not trans), but your straight face shots don't.
That may be correctable by not facing someone (or the camera) directly, but just a bit to one side, while keeping good eye contact.
Be more coy.
Quote from: PsychedelicSage on May 26, 2015, 02:59:45 PM
Thank you. :)
And no I was only clocked by my pictures. My personality/mannerisms/walk are all extremely feminine, and my voice sounds decently good considering I'm self taught and can't afford a voice coach.
Here's a couple other photos, including profile shots:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F29azl0g.jpg&hash=cd8870d4e6b13a9b6091bf5ffd53422325fa2e3c)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi62.tinypic.com%2F50fsde.jpg&hash=19d3a9d576169235166a9fd22eb6e07681060165)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi57.tinypic.com%2F2pt8k8x.jpg&hash=0fcd724dda4fa582bc42036808d1f52908cba76f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi57.tinypic.com%2F28bzbpt.jpg&hash=8077295a2433652ce05cada898d099937e0d1a03)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi60.tinypic.com%2F11liyi9.jpg&hash=e704a2749a960bec2a8b217a209a5a2a713b5e6a)
Well honestly your pictures appear to be on fetish side and an attempt to be "ultra fem" or the ideal woman for a "man"... Nothing wrong with that in my eyes either BTW but keep in mind that a MTF who can pull that off much less appear to be a 100% cis woman in pics or in person is pretty rare ;)
Well I was stupid enough to make a timeline of my transition and post it on ->-bleeped-<-.
Apparently I'm every bit as ugly and manly as I was before hormones. Did my hormones really make me so overconfident and deluded that I actually thought I was attractive?
I guess I was just so desperate to be attractive that I made myself think I'm attractive.
I still. Look like. A disgusting. MAN.
Well at least now I know not to take any pictures, talk to anyone, leave my house or show my face anywhere, go on social networking sites, or go on dating sites for at bare absolute minimum like four months. I'm not showing my face anywhere or contacting anyone until I'm passable. Bye everybody, see you in..I don't even know when. If I need FFS I won't be able to get it for literally years, I can't afford that until I finish college.:/
I think you look incredible, one thing to consider is that a woman looking for other women online is likely familiar with LGBT individuals and groups and is more likely to pick up on the minor signs that most would never notice. There is a transgender person who frequents a place I work at, most people have no clue, but I pick out little things, his hair cut, the layers of shirts often plaid, once when he was leaning over a table I could see the lines of his binder, most people who saw it would assume he was just wearing a tight t-shirt.
For his part even though I am still presenting male, he saw the way I talked, my pink shoelaces, my long hair and the nail polish and that was more than enough for him to know I am trans.
Now sadly not everyone uses there powers for good some will use that intimate knowledge to hurt others, in summary forget about those people your beautiful, vital and real.
--Serena
Stop that, you look great but like all of us you have to use the right appearance. With your hair pulled back and not cluttering your appearance up with other things, you are a classic beauty. I have moved around in society getting looks more for my hight than anything else and I don't look anywhere as good as you do. Take the time to do a few images of looks you like and let us be the judge. In addition your face will reshape with a small amount of fat in the right places. When I started I couldn't figure out who gave me my face. After a while I started to see some of my mothers face come out. I am not sure it's possible for us to pass 100% of the time so you have to get used to the fact someone might give you a look. What I always do is to put on a big smile and make that person disappear from my mind. I have never had a person so much as approach me (other than one airport security guard on a power trip) and if you remain calm, they will remain guessing. My problem in the early days was I went out with my roommate. She didn't pass as well as I did. We were also a Mutt and Jeff couple which drew stares. She would get unhinged and that just confirmed to the viewer that their guess was right. If you don't confirm it, they will never know.
I dress way down for my current job because for all I know, I could be opening up a septic tank that we are having issues with. I also ended up with the wrong hair cut which I am in the process of growing back out and that's one of reasons I haven't posted a picture of myself. I am sure some of the other people have guessed something about me but because I am fully comfortable and relaxed with myself, I am treated well by everybody. That is the hardest part of cross living you will have to deal with. You never know when somebody will read you but you can't live your life in fear of that happening.
It's not just a couple of people who clocked me..
I had like all of ->-bleeped-<- saying I'm not passable and pointing out every single one of my flaws I was too blind and deluded to see. How my neck is too big, how ugly and masculine my face shape is, my five o clock shadow thst still shows even after piling on dermablend, how big and disgusting my shoulders are..
I've suffered for twenty years already. Now I have to suffer for at least one more, if I'm lucky and my hormones affect me fast and I don't need FFS. Which I won't even be able to afford until after I finish college in two years. if I'm even able to finish college.
God, if I look this much like a man I don't think I'll have the confidence or drive to make it through college. Thinking I looked like a woman was the only thing that gave me enough confidence to make me think I would be able to give presentations in class. since I still look like some ugly man the only way I'll even have the courage to talk in class at all is if I'm so inebriated that I'm numb.
To be honest if I have to look like a man I won't care about school or anything at all. Me thinking I was attractive and passable was the only thing that gave me the motivation to want to go to school or do much of anything.
As long as I look like a man, I am completely unlovable.because that's how it's always been for me.
If I have to look like a man, nothing is really worth doing. I'm every bit as ugly as I was before hormones.
I honestly have no clue how I'm going to keep it together until I'm passable.. me thinking I was passable and looked like a female was the only thing that made me enjoy life. But I was just some sad freak so desperate to be happy they tricked themselves into thinking they mattered.
I'm nothing but a "gay guy" that likes girls instead of men and that is how everyone will see me until I'm passable. If I'm ever passable.
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I'm sorry that the response was strong a particular way. What I can tell you is you have a lot of potential. Clothing, hairstyle, makeup, eyebrows, and I could list countless other things play a role. Now that you had the feedback you had take a look at what you do to draw attention away from those things they named. All woman do this. We draw attention to our good features and try to draw attention away from those flaws in are looks at the same time. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah
Quote from: PsychedelicSage on May 27, 2015, 01:21:21 AM
It's not just a couple of people who clocked me..
I had like all of ->-bleeped-<- saying I'm not passable and pointing out every single one of my flaws I was too blind and deluded to see. How my neck is too big, how ugly and masculine my face shape is, my five o clock shadow thst still shows even after piling on dermablend, how big and disgusting my shoulders are..
I've suffered for twenty years already. Now I have to suffer for at least one more, if I'm lucky and my hormones affect me fast and I don't need FFS. Which I won't even be able to afford until after I finish college in two years. if I'm even able to finish college.
God, if I look this much like a man I don't think I'll have the confidence or drive to make it through college. Thinking I looked like a woman was the only thing that gave me enough confidence to make me think I would be able to give presentations in class. since I still look like some ugly man the only way I'll even have the courage to talk in class at all is if I'm so inebriated that I'm numb.
To be honest if I have to look like a man I won't care about school or anything at all. Me thinking I was attractive and passable was the only thing that gave me the motivation to want to go to school or do much of anything.
As long as I look like a man, I am completely unlovable.because that's how it's always been for me.
If I have to look like a man, nothing is really worth doing. I'm every bit as ugly as I was before hormones.
I honestly have no clue how I'm going to keep it together until I'm passable.. me thinking I was passable and looked like a female was the only thing that made me enjoy life. But I was just some sad freak so desperate to be happy they tricked themselves into thinking they mattered.
I'm nothing but a "gay guy" that likes girls instead of men and that is how everyone will see me until I'm passable. If I'm ever passable.
When people know what you are they can pick out every single flaw you have. Now if you put a picture of a GG up there and called her a MTF they would pick out every single flaw she has and declare her not passable. We will be truthful with you but people who have problems with the gender issues will not. I have been on political board defending the TS view point and seen some real bigots, you are better than that because you have an open mind and are becoming comfortable with yourself. They never will. Their opinion isn't valuable to you, only your opinion is valuable to you. They don't live your life, only you can do that. Don't let a group of small minded people stop you from what you need to do. Take the post on the social board down and live your life by your rules and not other peoples rules. I would give a lot for your looks but I will never have them so get it out of your system tonight and take a look at a new world tomorrow. If you haven't figured it out yet you will but for you the only way is forward.
Sweetheart, please don't let those comments discourage you. Most on ->-bleeped-<- are self-centered arrogant people that just have no sense or capacity for anything above themselves. I will say it again, that you look quite amazing, and beautiful.
You are after all doing this for you, not them. I know humanity or a lot of it, is unaware of the troubles we go through on a daily basis, as to not give them empathy toward us. But I will always suggest to stay positive, stay focused, stay you. Be who you are and don't change (poor use of this saying) but what I am trying to say is it is a challenging road we all have to endure, and with the right attitude you can and will overcome all of what the nasty will throw at you.
Another note; you will be able to make it through school and will be able to transition. Please don't give up on us, don't give up on you. For your life, you are important, only you will be able to make light, in what could seem an endless cavern of darkness. Stay strong.
Kate
Pretty sure if I went to ->-bleeped-<- for a self esteem boost Id end up crying and wishing I was dead.
Quote from: PsychedelicSage on May 27, 2015, 12:24:23 AM
Well I was stupid enough to make a timeline of my transition and post it on ->-bleeped-<-.
Apparently I'm every bit as ugly and manly as I was before hormones. Did my hormones really make me so overconfident and deluded that I actually thought I was attractive?
I guess I was just so desperate to be attractive that I made myself think I'm attractive.
I still. Look like. A disgusting. MAN.
Well at least now I know not to take any pictures, talk to anyone, leave my house or show my face anywhere, go on social networking sites, or go on dating sites for at bare absolute minimum like four months. I'm not showing my face anywhere or contacting anyone until I'm passable. Bye everybody, see you in..I don't even know when. If I need FFS I won't be able to get it for literally years, I can't afford that until I finish college.:/
Woah woah woah. There is nothing wrong with you or how you look. Cis women have just as many body issues as we do, and you are attractive. Hell, I wish I were as skinny as you, I just like sugar and cheese delivery systems like pizza too much to lose the weight easily. If you want constructive criticism, it's your unflattering camera and outfit that might benefit from slight modifications not you or your body. You're perfect the way you are. I work in special effects and I can tell when camera lenses are too small and distort the pictures they take. It's most common with fish-eye lenses and camera phones. Objects can be swapped, you are unique and it's better that way.
I'm jealous that you have taken steps toward accepting your being trans before you hit your 29th birthday, as it was for me. I get the dysphoria and body dysmorphia, I've dealt with both. NEVER RELY ON OTHER PEOPLE TO JUDGE YOU. Don't rely on yourself either until you've had enough therapy. Keep your goals present in your mind and as long as you work toward them, you can mitigate your depression, social anxiety, gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. There is no such thing as normal or perfect, and passing can sometimes be just another way of going back in the closet. You are trans, and that's ok. If you look trans, that's ok. I would never characterize you from your pictures as manly or masculine. You don't look like a man and you are not ugly.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
5 weeks into hormones. Give it some time to mold your body. Patience!
You were given a gift with that face of yours. Absolutely nothing to worry about. The last pic in the second group of photos you posted is beautiful. I really like your makeup, too. Keep up the great work and don't listen to the haters
Quote from: PsychedelicSage on May 27, 2015, 12:24:23 AM
... Apparently I'm every bit as ugly and manly as I was before hormones. Did my hormones really make me so overconfident and deluded that I actually thought I was attractive?
I guess I was just so desperate to be attractive that I made myself think I'm attractive. ...
Honey, it's hard to keep things in perspective when you are beginning to transition. You don't have to hide until you are "perfect". In fact, this is a wonderful time to begin presenting as a woman, especially with your lucky genetics, but starting in "safe spaces".
I totally disagree with the ->-bleeped-<- crowd and think you will get much more balanced advice from the girls on this site. Why not try posting to the Do I Look, or Could I Pass, as Female? 4.0 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,177846.msg1568054.html#msg1568054) and The official "You look fabulous, darling!" 6.0 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,179354.msg1584322.html#msg1584322) topics with different looks, and try some of the suggestions you've heard here?
Honestly the only worse place than ->-bleeped-<- to go to for that is 4chan. I don't visit either of those boards for a reason.
All you need is some patience. The hormones will take care of it, trust me. I'm a naturally estrogen poisoned dude. I'm stuck with it for a good few more months. I envy you being on Hrt now.
FWIW, cis women get "clocked", too. So if you're being told that you look like a man and not a woman, you're in good (i.e., cis) company.
->-bleeped-<- and 4chan are the underbelly of the internet. Twitter is fast becoming it too, but to a lesser degree.
I only go there for official purposes such as gathering intelligence on upcoming hacking attempts.
I think a lot of trans people are going to get clocked more nowadays, whether they realize they are being clocked at the time or not. with more education and articles about us, people will tend to pick up on us more often, even if years before you might have been perfectly "passable".
I read you as female without a doubt.
As hard as it can be, you can't focus on the douchebags out there. They're only out there to bring you down, and you don't have to deal with that. You look lovely, okay? ((hugs))
Quote from: synesthetic on May 27, 2015, 03:37:39 PM
I read you as female without a doubt.
As hard as it can be, you can't focus on the douchebags out there. They're only out there to bring you down, and you don't have to deal with that. You look lovely, okay? ((hugs))
I second that.
Oh sweetie if this is you after only 5 weeks..... Wow. You are so cute, especially in that last pic with you laying on the bed! Give it some patience and I am positive you will have some just outstanding results.
Also, please don't ask places like ->-bleeped-<- or (ugh) 4chan for advice or validation; they are the self-proclaimed internet hate machine and all they will do is attempt to destroy your self esteem, especically if you tell them whats up and then ask for an opinion on passability. You are gorgeous love.
The only issue I see is a bit of muscle bulk from some angles which should be resolved with time on hormones. The right clothing can minimize it to an extent.
As a old grandma transsexual lady who hangs out with females mostly all the time, I would say hang out with your cis girlfriends, letting yourself go and absorb their mannerisms and speech patterns. If all people see is your sparkling happy feminine personality, they will not have time to pay attention to whatever male characteristics you have.
Yes, we can hardly ever escape the Sherlocketta Holmes of the world who scrutinize every inch of our bodies and physical characteristics and then call us sir. But, who cares about them, just give them the cold shoulder unless they become our close girlfriends. If all anyone ever sees is the woman, the majority of people you pass on the street if they do pay attention to you will only see a woman. You can decide how you will deal with the fresh males, who drool to get your attention. The older you get after a certain age the more invisible you become to the younger set. And you just might find out that except for the bigots the older folks won't care, they will just see a friend or another little old lady.
Hi Sage, I wanted to say you are very pretty and passable. Don't let today mess with your head.
I think one major issue is the lack of hormones....not what they're doing to your body, but your mind. Without them in a steady consistent supply, you'll have mood swings like cis-women. You're probably just feeling out of sorts because of the hormonal mess-up.
As far as your look goes, I don't see you as not passing or not being fully integrated. I do have a couple of tips as a big sister... Until you're more 'developed' on top, avoid such low-cut tank tops. Because you're small-busted it makes your shoulders look bigger than they are which makes your boobs look smaller--so wear a higher-cut tank top....old navy has reallyEi great ones I think you'd like--super comfy and affordable.
Also, you seem to enjoy a bit of a goth-edge too your look.... me too:) Just go with it. More cats eye makeup and a stronger lip...also earrings, multiple if you have your ears pierced up the side. I'd say work the goth/emo look more...it's like you want to go there but are kinda skittish to go all the way. Either that, or tone down the goth and go more natural...less eye, softer lip color, and a softer cut. Whatever you decide, you're very pretty and your skin is amazing!! Definitely play up the skin as much as possible, which means use as little foundation as possible or one that 'looks' sheer...Nothing is a deader give-away than heavy foundation....it looks horrid even on cis-women (yes I'm talking to you Kim Kardashian...step away from the contouring products and put down that damn foundation!!!lol)
Trust me, you'll do fine in the long run...It's always scary/hard at first, but over time, the more comfortable you are in your skin, the more integrated you'll be. I never thought the day would come but I go places now without makeup or in scuzzy clothes...my attitude is I don't give a ->-bleeped-<-, I'm just here to buy some godd*mned groceries not impress anybody--you're lucky I'm wearing underwear!lol Never had any issues passing... Just think be and do--You're you! :)