So in the next few weeks I may end up with two new firsts. The first first is meeting a friend who I have known for years but only on text and e-mail. We met in the days when I first got the internet and was able to explore these feelings I had and when I found her website another transgender teenager struggling with herself and dealing with how to proceed. I took a risk and e-mailed her, and we have been "talking" and supporting each other for more than 15 years. She is the success story, she came out to her mother started HRT around her senior year, starting living as herself shortly after high school and had GRS a few years later, moved from Virginia to San Diego.
Me I have lived pretty much in the same place doing the same terrible job, in massachusetts all this time, I just started HRT 3 months ago and well I did nothing. For a very long time the idea of meeting her seemed mostly impossible but for a few months this summer she is here in Mass. I am so nervous about meeting her, she knows exactly where I stand as far as transitioning goes but still somehow I feel like I have failed and even knowing she will never judge me based on it its sorta nerve wracking, we have never even talked on the phone at first very mutually but the last decade has mostly been me, my voice is one of my biggest hurdles to transitioning. I don't even know why I am mentioning this just needed to tell someone, meeting someone I know so well, someone who has known things about me that I never shared with anyone else until very recently, someone who has been a foundation of emotional support through all the ups and downs but meeting them for the first time in person, I am crying/nervous/terrified/excited.
Ok other less emotional and more plain scary, the second week of june I have off of work for vacation from one of my jobs giving me lots of free time, and so I scheduled my therapy appointment for a day that I will otherwise have off and I am considering leaving the house during the day for the first time to go to therapy presenting female, my therapist is happy about it but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I currently intend to socially transition in December so it make sense to start getting used to this and its a totally safe situation but still I keep thinking about how much I would have to do, I have little to no practice with make up and I will want to fix my eyebrows and my hair needs to be fixed, I could really used it cut in a more clearly feminine style, plus I am still so fat which is all in my neck, stomach and other horrible places (on average loosing 2lb a week), I would also need cloths that accentuate the positive and conceal the negative but I am not sure where to find it. Most of all I have serious issues with my voice, bad enough that even practicing it is very difficult and tends to end 5 minutes later frustrated and crying I cant even tell what I am supposed to be doing much less figure out how to do it.
Mostly its just me finding excuses to not do things, but then I think if I can bring myself to do this now, how can I possibly expect to go full time ever, much less in December.
Sorry for bothering everyone with this.
--Serena
It must be hard - especially the "first first". I see the girls who had the chance to transition young as the lucky ones: more learning experience as a teen (when learning about make up, etc) better looks, little or no need for surgery. Even those who are 10 years yonger than me - I see their skin and know mine won't ever look as good.
I read on ->-bleeped-<- the other day a thread about jalousy, and I could totally relate. We each have our own path. Unfortunately, the past is past and can't be changed.
Please meet your friend with an open heart. She is happy to see your. She has had many struggles. She won't judge you, just offer you support and kindness. That is the greatest gift anyone can give.
Hey Serena please know your concerns are very understandable and certainly no bother to us. It is why we are here, to share and support one another. You write beautifully about your important friend and I can only imagine she will be even more supportive in real time. No doubt, we cannot help but compare ourselves and our progress with others. And then you know we have very individual journeys and your success story is ever bit as real and hard won.
I encourage you to be yourself. Trying too hard is sometimes even more obvious and distracting. Voice training and exercises tips are all over this place. I have been coached to do lip trills as a basic daily vocal chord warm up and protection that is recommended for pro singers and others. But take my advice, I'm not using it :D Voice is so individual a part of our expression that I have not modified mine much. Speaking into our nose rather than our chest is another common tip.
Sure there may be a lot to do but multitasking is a digital world myth and we really do just one thing at a time. Deadlines die every day without consequence. ;D The priorities are yours to determine and I urge you to lighten up on yourself and give yourself some positive strokes.
Hi Serena :)
First I'd like to say that you and your friend obviously share an emotional bond. Sure, it's going to be awkward and you're both probably going to be really nervous at first, but I think if you try and open up even a little bit you'll remember that connection and it will be even better than all those times you poured your hearts out to each other over the internet.
Just don't keep yourself totally guarded and closed off and everything will work out beautifully :)
As for the rest, moving forward is good. But something I have to struggle with is not moving too quickly and overwhelming myself. Then once I've overwhelmed myself and I shut down I start missing self-imposed goals and deadlines, and things just get way darker than they need to be.
So my advice to you is to move as fast or as slow as you're -prepared- to go. You may be nervous as hell and shaking like a leaf, but you know inside if you're ready for that step or not. And to not be ready for that step is perfectly okay.
So maybe you don't go to your first therapy appointment en femme, or you don't go full time in December. It's not the end of the world. Or maybe you manage to do both of those because it IS the right time. Only you can know for sure. This journey is about being yourself and being happy, right? Don't let yourself get put in another box, where you HAVE to do this or that, even if it makes you miserable. Do what's the right thing.
And I hear ya on the voice, I HATE my voice. But it's part of who I am, and if I can never get it above a gravelly Batman voice then oh well, I refuse to hate myself for it. Hate the voice, not the self, or something :p
Anyways, I hope some of this makes sense. Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to :)
Before I started transitioning things felt fuzzy, but once I started especially after starting hormones I feel more and more sure that I needed to transition, I think most of my nervousness stems from my views of how I look, my weight and voice mostly but I do desperately want to start living as myself soon.
I don't think I am moving to fast I have been moderately comfortable so far it's just the presentation thing that concerns me.
I sometimes freak out a little when I think about how much I still need to learn about hair and makeup. Then I worry about finding clothing that helps conceal the negative and accentuate the positive. Then I try and remind myself that most women do the same one or two hair and make up styles all the time and that most women dress in a style that Attempts to accentuates there good traits and hides there negative I just have more negatives.
In general I always over think things and freak myself out more, usually when I just go and do something I am good. At least after a bit. I just get concerned about my weight all in the wrong places and my voice I have listened to so many videos and read a dozen out so guides and none of it helps I can't even tell if I am really doing anything different. At this point I am considering just never speaking again :-)
So well I really want to lose at least 40-50 lb, And get my voice moderately reasonable Before transition, I more and more often feel the need to move forward.
Hopefully tomorrow my friend and I will arrange when we will meet.
Sorry for the rambling
--Serena
When we start the transition process some aspects seem immeasurably huge and near unobtainable. Just keep in mind that even those of us who seem well along the road had to start at the beginning and had similar fears, concerns and doubts. Most people get to where they need to through taking one step at a time, slowly chipping away at the "unobtainable" and just being true to themselves. None of it is a contest, no one is a failure. If at first you don't succeed, try again!
Ok well today was the day I had only one practice make up session and never manage to put my whole outfit together at once. Oddly my chest seems to look better in a sports bra than a regular one it keeps them more together and with the flubber inserts even gets me some cleavage when I cross my arms.
So I wake up, walk on the treadmill. Then I took a shower, lots of shaving later its time to put on the bra, and corset before doing my hair (there was no extra shaveing, I have been doing the full range for 15+ years)(the corset was for fatness control, and now 3 hours later I think its killing me, gotta get rid of it soon.)
After hair care was done, it was back up stairs to the bathroom to do make up, i went light aside from liquid and powder foundation, just some blush to restore color some light light blue eye shadow, and light pink lipstick. I considered mascara but I was already running late. I threw on my top and skirt, a few bits of jewellery, grab the little black hand bag and was off. Before I left the house my mother said I looked good but she is required to say that being my mother and all.
Therapy was normal a bit of talk about my appearance, he claimed he couldn't see the smuggest in my foundation but he is a nice guy and mabye if your more than 2 feet away they where not noticeable. I carefully left myself only barely enough time to get ready before I had to be there so I could not back out and change, but that also means no time to fix make up mistakes.
At the end of the session I had my therapist take a picture using my phone which I hate, its so easy to pick out our own flaws. Then I left and feeling a bit bold, went and got drive thru at taco bell, and after that went well I went to the supermarket picked up some water, and some more make up and hair wigets.
so my voice is still awful and likely always will be and my make up needs serious work and I should loose about a trillion pounds but it was a good two hours and right now except for loosing the death trap of a corset I refuse to change, also my pepsi is more ice than soda. Don't know why I even mentioned that just exicted I suppose.
as a final note the last week of getting cloths and make up half of which is wrong for me reminded me just how much more expensive being a woman is. :-) Especially when you try your mothers Instyler and decide to buy one from amazon for 99.99. My mother has been great the last few days yesterday night she gave me a bunch of jewellery and a musical box for it and today has just been great. Sadly she rarely wears much make up at all and virtually never wears foundation or blush so she is not too helpful for lessons but she has been so supportive.
I am feeling this weird thing today.....whats it called umm ohh ya excited and even a bit hopeful and happy.
Thanks,
Serena
Oh Serana,
You are making so much progress! I just want to chime in on the voice. Mine is super super deep but whats helping me is singing along to music. Its rough but I'm starting to tell the difference. Also reading aloud in the highest pitched voice you can manage also helps.
As for the weight and makeup. Well we are all our own worst judge. I just went out in public for the first time tonight and thought for sure I'd be clocked. I spent an hour trying to make every little part of me perfect. But no one even gave me a second glance. Also I've just been practicing doing makeup every night for an hour or so. It really helps if you watch how to video's on Youtube. Don't get discouraged I mean if I can do it you can also! I mean my first attempts make me look like a zombie movie extra. And I'm really really afraid to do eye liner yet. Mascara still freaks me out getting so close to my eye.
Hugs from Raven
odd thing mascara is not a problem for me but I also am trying for a natural look, I am a geek hanging out at a game store a lot and working there, I also only gave myself 15-20 minutes to do my make up, after one whole practice session the night before so I guess it was ok.
I watched a few videos but so many of them seem focused on really elaborate very girly girl stuff, if it was not for the facial hair thing I think I would call it good with a little cover up on a few blemishes that I don't like and some very light lipstick, I am trying to avoid the all too common princess phase of transitioning we all seem to go through because I doubt I am going to end up there. Though apparently despite how little I know about make up already know more than my mother and most of the other women I know.
The worst part of the whole day was accepting that tomorrow, my birthday I won't be nearly as dressed up but I think I will still wear the Flubber boobs because the weight feels great.
I would upload the two terrible pictures I had taken but I don't have a image sharing site and have little use for one aside from 2 pictures. I hate those pictures but I promised people I would take them if I didn't think I looked too awful. Its so easy to pick out my own flaws. Ok no more complaining I have found that if I just up and do something I am usually ok its the waiting and thinking and overthinking that tends to defeat me. up side except for when I looked at the pictures not once today did I think of myself as fat, ugly and unloveable.
--Serena,
going from excited and even happy to devestated and depressed so fast it often happens mid thought.
Serena please don't be sad. You are so much braver then me with makeup. I don't think I'll ever be able to make a passable job in twenty or thirty minutes.
You and me seem alike with knowledge on makeup. And I've been able to avoid trying to overdue myself as well. My sister has already said I know more then she does. As for the Youtube videos yeah they are elaborate, But one piece of advice I used during my life is just soak up knowledge. Those video's might be a little too much, most are for me. But every time I learn one little trick. And also happy birthday I super hope it goes good for you!
Also don't over think things I'm guilty of the same thing. Just try to be yourself and have an air of confidence. Very many hugs from Raven.
The biggest problem I am feeling now is that despite how bad I must have looked, I feel so much worse now that it's over, it's like taking one sip of water when your dehydrated, you just want more but your not sure when if ever that will be.
But happy thoughts today is my birthday and I hope to find something better to do than my usual plans. For the last 15 or so years my birthday plans involved sleeping till 5 pm, taking a shower and then thinking about how much I hate myself and my life, usually focusing on being a year older and still a failure, then I would generally get upset, depressed, suicidal, and cry.
This year I am hoping for something less awful, any suggestions are welcome. Perhaps something involving this blue shapeless dress, but mabye Serena has made too much of a appearance already this decade. :-(
Going to sleep before she get more depressed,
Serena
Serena now you're getting me sad. As for birthday suggestions um, have you gone to the movies lately? That usually does the trick for me. Or just go and have a nice meal somewhere. Or since you brought up your nice blue dress why not get something for it. Like a nice belt, scarf or some jewelry?
Just remember Serena it will get better in time. I almost started getting depressed last night as well after taking my makeup off. And started seeing a stupid creature underneath. But what helps me is the advice Ms. Grace gave me using my imagination. So I closed my eyes and told the creature be gone! Opened them and well somehow Raven was still looking back. So really Serena just keep on telling yourself you a pretty. After all you are a beautiful women that shouldn't be sad.
If you ever need to talk about anything Serena feel free to message me.
sorry about making you sad, i go from perfectly happy to depressed some days in about 5 seconds. I didnt even leave my house today. I read one word and I cried but it was a good crying. I took a shower and when I came down there was a birthday card from my mother well my whole family but its clear it was from her. I almost lost it when I saw that it was addresed to Serena. It took me a few minutes to calm down enough to read it and I had to stop once to dry my eyes. In short it just read I hope your dreams come through this year and that you find yourself happy with yourself. then she offered that if I need anything just to ask.
so that sorta put me in the best mood ever for a while.and just an hour ago I resubbed my face book account and changed my name and gender. All these things all this support makes me really want to accelerate my plans...it just feels like I am in a holding pattern doing things I would be doing afterwards anyways. Sure my voice is awful but I have heard alot of people say that it wasent till they where full time and useing it constantly that they actually got it. and I tell myself I will loose weight at the same speed regardless of what department I bought my shorts and shirts in.
next thursday I have a doctors appointment and I hope to have a reasonable outfit to wear there, I am not going to rush things too fast but I know that when I over analize why I am doing something I tend to make bad choices, trusting my intuition tends to work better, helps keep my confidence up too which is important.
I also came to the realization a short time ago, that the pictures I had my therapist take yesterday make me feel bad about my appearance but the pictures from late march of me in boy mode make me even more uncomfortable and feel worse about my appearance. so its a choice between ugly and ugly but one makes me feel less awful.
now I just sound like I am trying to justify something but its a thought that wont leave my mind.
Sorry about this post, it was writen whail jumping back and forth talking to people on facebook and may be less coherant than normal.
--Serena
Aww Serena that's so sweet what your mother did for you. It sounds like she really loves you. And please don't worry about making me sad. It sounds like you had a really good day and made a lot of progress.
And you might be your own worst enemy on the voice. Just out of curiosity have you recorded it to hear what it sounds like? Or maybe record your other voice and then switch to that nice feminine one and see how much progress you have already made. With anything it will get better with practice and time. I've watched a gal's videos on Youtube where her voice was awful sounding but after nine months she had it perfect.
Hugs from Raven
No my voice is such a trigger for me just talking about it for more than a minute cause me to start panicking. I have been very much occasionally trying to work on it for more than 15 years with no real progress I don't even think I have the basics down, I know some of what I am suppose to do but can't do it. On the recording front I am afraid to try if it comes out as bad as I expect it to it could literally kill me.
Before bed though I was trying to figure out what the heck I can do about my long curly hair something that helps hide the negative and accentuate the positive.
Serena
Oh Serena, I'm sorry if I upset you talking about the voice thing :(
I don't have any ideas for curly hair sorry.
Hugs Raven
I need to see a real hair stylist, it probebly needs to be much shorter like take a foot of it.
and it looks like tomorrow will be the day I finally meet my friend, now if I can just avoid being super nervous things will be good.
Serena
Serena, that's great that you finally get to meet your friend. Just relax and be yourself I'm sure you'll do great!
Being myself is a big part of the problem, thats not possible at least not in body, she has been living as herself for around 15 years I am still forced to put on a costume every day. ok its a really bad costume and i am sure people see through it more and more but still.
i will update you on how things go once I know.
Serena
Ok we met and wow so much envy, not really bad envy heck most women who meet her likely feel some envy, 6ish feet tall skinny, long legs, dirty blond hair. She is so passable its tough for me who has known her forever to think about where she started out. Based just on appearance I should feel attracted to her, but I have known her so long she is more like a sister. as I knew we have nothing really in common we talked a bit about random things, mostly about me and what I have been doing doctors and lazer and therapy and such. It looks like we will probably get together at least once or twice more before she has to leave, and I look foward to it.
This week has been so positive, starting with going out in public for the first time to therapy, my birthday with a card from my mother addresed to Serena, through reactivating my facebook account wednesday night and changeing my name and gender on it, outing myself to several more people in the process all of whom where totally accepting and supportive, after meeting my friend i did some shopping Kmart had tons of sales, sadly two of the shirts wont fit me but I got a few awsome skirts, and sorta outed myself to the cashier. she asked if it was for a birthday I said yes, she then remarked that guys usually cant match clothing, i replied "well the birthday is mine" she gave me a Ohh then smiled and was even more friendly about my order. (note I dont consider myself any good at all with clothing so I thought it was great)
Now tomorrow I may end up going all fem to a very public place where most everyone knows me if not by name than by appearance there will likely be 50+ people there at any given time, its been 5 days sense my first careful outing and I am seriously thinking of doing something very foward. Though it fits with how I have been doing lately before this week I was frustrated by the waiting till december to transision, this week though has given me such confidence and everyone I talk to seems to encourage me to go foward with it, voice, appearance, make up, exc. be damned start being me and then focus on being a better me, rather than trying to get everything perfect the first time out. Its scary and exciting and wonderful. I went from filled with fear and concern, sure I would loose everything and everyone and then 6-8 months later I am looking forward to moving forward, I haven't really lost anyone and I even have a non binary individual who plans on policing peoples pronoun use and they and there significant other both want to help and claim to be willing to fight someone over it, which I find a very noble and reassureing idea though hopefully never nessesary.
and as a final positive thing for the week I had blood work done on Wednesday and I was able to check the results today and after about 4 months on HRT my T levels are down to 34 well within the female range and E is at 141 a bit low for a woman but reasonably within a range, so yay my hormones.
Ok enough rambling if I am going to get up go find myself a new shirt to go with the great skirt I have, then get home, walk on the treadmill, shower shave and get ready to face my friends for the first time as myself I am going to need my sleep. over all this stage of my journey is going way faster than I thought it would, but I have been comfortable with myself all along. Now all I can wonder is, can being yourself improve your luck and make life easier when you assume it will only get harder?
Serena
Serena, I'm so happy for you right now! I can really feel how positive you feel just by you're typing. Just keep the confidence up like you are right now and you'll do great!
Hugs from Raven who's very happy that Serena is happy
Mabye I can get a hair cut today too. If I go through with this today I will be out to like 80% Of the people I know aside from like my mechanic and a few relatives I rarely see. Oh and work people. Nervous and excited and a bit hopeful. Nervcitedly hopeful. :-)
Serena
That's great Serena! Hope the day goes great for you!
ok so Friday was a bit of a mess at first getting everything ready, I do have a great story thursday on the way home I stopped to buy clothing for friday, got a few skirts some tops that matched them, (sadly two of the tops are too small and the last is a bit bleh. When I got to the cheak out the woman asked if it was someones birthday, I smiled because mine was tuesday and I was spending birthday money people gave me on the cloths and told her yes. She then commented on how she is suprised because guys usually cant match clothing, and so I said "ya...well the birthday is mine well smiling" she stopped for a second and said...ohh....OHH, I finished with a shrug and the word Ya. so ya sorta outed myself to a cashier.
then came friday sadly wanted to get my hair done but the place was closing and there was no time. got all dressed up, fought my way through make up and hair and spent the evening in a place with 50 grown men and a handful of women had a few people I know ask me what was going on, I explained it, I never heard a single negitive comment. only a few people used Serena but everyone was polite. On the upside I had another queer person and 5-6 other people there who knew and support me, but it never became an issue. sure lots of misgendering but it was there first time so I can't argue with it too hard.
Friday went so good that I decided to work my 5-midnight shift in the same store (which I work at twice a week) fem today, but this time I would not have most of the support one was supposed to be there but they have there own gender issues and depression to deal with and where a mess so stayed home, the owner did show up later at night but for most of the day I was alone. I almost had one freak out but that was more screwing up a order related than transition related. When I first showed up one person made the comment, I can't belive how indiffrent you are. which I took as a compliment because I was half scared out of my mind. But ok there was a lot of staring and some shock but otherwise everything went very well. one person asked if this was a transision thing, it turns out a friend he had years ago transisioned FtM so they are at least familiar to a degree. Another friend of mine asked if I was still (old name) and I held up the buttons I was wearing my my shirt one that i made that reads "hello I am: Serena" the other that I bought that says "please use female pronouns She/Her/Hers" and that was that, they then pre appologized for probably messing it up sometimes.
So over all Today went great too, which brings up two new problems one for tomorrow. After the week I just had and the freeness to be me 3 out of 7 days as myself a few more at home often half dressed up just shorts bra and stuff not full blown make up but still. it was amazing and going back to boy costume and my other job tommrow is so so painful.
Then there is the long term question originally I was going to make a effort to try and socially transision in december 6 more months of hormones doing there thing 6 more months of practicing make up occasionally (like once a week at best) 6 more months of working on my hair (which is still hopeless, going to see a professional hopefully monday and hoping for a really clearly feminine hair cut, boy costume be damned). 6 more months of trying to figure out how to do a female voice and making little to no improvement.
So now I question all of that the hormones will work regardless of what I do, and my hair and make up will likely improve faster if I am using them more often, and I can keep working on my voice even after I transision so now I question if I should wait too long at all, Most of the people I asked and all the trans people I asked told me to go for it and forget what others may think, just be happy. The transgender people all told me that it wasent till full time or close to it that they where able to get real practice in and improve to a level they where happy with. I am not sure when I will be able to go full time, but right now I need to go shopping because I plan on presenting female on any day I leave the house and don't go to the job that I hate. So mostly just mondays, wednesdays, and Saturdays. Mabye more dependent on how my coming out at the other job goes.
Ok Gotta sleep, terrible non myself sunday coming fast.
--Serena, Who is startled and amazed by how decent everyone has been to me.
Quote from: Valwen on June 14, 2015, 01:31:15 AM
So now I question all of that the hormones will work regardless of what I do, and my hair and make up will likely improve faster if I am using them more often, and I can keep working on my voice even after I transision so now I question if I should wait too long at all, Most of the people I asked and all the trans people I asked told me to go for it and forget what others may think, just be happy. The transgender people all told me that it wasent till full time or close to it that they where able to get real practice in and improve to a level they where happy with. I am not sure when I will be able to go full time, but right now I need to go shopping because I plan on presenting female on any day I leave the house and don't go to the job that I hate. So mostly just mondays, wednesdays, and Saturdays. Mabye more dependent on how my coming out at the other job goes.
Serena, Its really up to how you feel about going full time you'll know when you are ready. And really from the sound of it you are ready or gettig close to it. As I've said I haven't got on hormones yet but other then my job I'm going ahead and going full time starting Monday. So at least when I start hormones soon I'll already have a couple months of experience. Like all things it just takes practice, and you are very strong and can do it.
I do understand the "boy costume" it makes me sad having to put it on. And I'm really bad about showing my dislike and sadness of it. I really haven't figured out a good way around it yet other then not looking in my mirror when I'm in the "boy costume".
Ya my costume includes pink sneakers, painted nails, lots of hand talking, and starting today gold hoop earrings. So it's a really poor costume. Though wow after two days of Serena freedom going back is more dysphoria inducing than before. So about an hour ago I came out to a junior manager at the job I assumed I will lose and her doesn't think it will be a problem, so now I am headed back to my department to ask my co-workers if they have ever worked with a transgender person before, and then out myself.
I blame most of this on becoming friends with some sorta queer superhero with the power to instill confidence and get people to be true to there inner truths. Thanks Jay.
Serena
I'm jeleous of the earrings Serena! Can't work up the courage really hate stabbing thingys. Good luck on talking to your co-workers I kind of get the feeling that we may work for the same company just maybe.
I doubt it's the same company it's a small supermarket chain in Massachusetts. I had my ears done back in like 2001. Thinking of getting them done again higher up. I used to just wear studs with my birth stone in them. But I bought rather expensive 14kg hoops under the pretence of wearing them larping (live action role playing.)
Really didn't hurt I got to hong hold a stuffed bear when they did it. Really it was keeping them clean and making sure they healed well that was the trouble.
Serena
Not the same company then but we kind of do the same thing. Lets just say I know more about groceries then is safe for a normal human.
Maybe one day I'll get my ears done, I mean I kind of want them.
Go for it, it's fast mostly painless and a lot of places will piece them for free if you buy earrings. The only time mine ever really gave me trouble I stupidly took them out when they where still healing. Then when I was putting then back in a short time later one didn't go through well it did it just didn't want to but I only bled for a little while do it's fine.
Ok that last comment may not be encouraging just take it as a warning dont take them out till it heals.
Serena
Serena now you are making me cringe just thinking about it. One day maybe I'll get my courage up.
Ok so today I got my hair cut, went to therapy and then ran a dungeons and dragons session. I still hate how I look but decide to change my profile pic so this is me, 4 months on her 5th time I have ever been presenting in public.
Serena
Oh Serena you are pretty!
no I really am not, but the haircut i got today will make the boy costume very very hard to pull off, something that dose not bother me at all. Though it may make work on Friday a bit interesting.
Ohh and getting your eyebrows waxed dose not really hurt as much as I thought it would.
Serena
Waxing still scares me, it hurts really bad even when I pluck.
It's like plucking all at once. It did leave me a bit swollen and sore nothing that wouldn't vanish in a day our two.
All at once? Oh no, I get really close to crying when I pluck., don't really have a high pain tolerance.