:embarrassed:
2 months post op and I'm pissed off.
Due to the fact everything is numb.. I can't and don't know how to orgasm. That is, if I can. Its so frustrating!
How did you deal with this time? Was there something u did to get you there?
2 months is still a bit early. Give it time, I didn't have mine until 4-5 months after.
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I don't know if you are there yet but you have a woman's body and things work different than they did before. You first need to get turned on or sexually excited. When you are in that state, your whole body will become sensitive and it will be like a glow. Once turned on, the state will remain unlike the fading nature it took when you were a male. After that you work on the orgasm part and I really can't help you much there because of differences in our surgery and the fact in all these years I really haven't played with it.
Your surgery is still pretty new and I felt nerves reconnecting for a couple of years after SRS. It shouldn't take that long for a sexual experience but a couple of months may be a bit on the short side as you may still have some swelling that hasn't gone down yet. Others with more current surgeries and much more sexual experience may be able to tell you more.
2 months is about when I got curious and really wanted to know how it felt. It just wouldn't work likely because of unconnected nerve tissue.
It is interesting what Dena said about being turned on because I've not been which likely explains why apart from the time I made it work as a test nothing has happened. If you are still numb then it is unlikely to work whatever you try but in another month if the numbness has gone you could try watching some porn or have your partner if you have one touch you in intimate places.
Hope it happens soon for you
Hugs
Sorcha ;D
Maybe I better explain the turned on part a bit. I had a couple of years of sleepless nights and one night I was laying there thinking I wasn't going to get anymore sleep for a while and I started thinking about my body being caressed by somebody else. A warm pleasant feeling came over my entire body. The feeling remained for about half an hour when I started to worry that I wouldn't get any more sleep if the feeling remained. I was able to shut it off but for the next couple of days I had to walk around carefully because I felt the feeling might come back again if I moved wrong.
I'm at 3 months, now started to get curious at 2 months though. I didn't seem to have numbness though, you can google guides on how to do it and different types of orgasm. It's more about mood than anything else like Dena said.
have you had it happen in a dream yet?
After I had it in a dream I bought a couple vibraters and a week or two of practice later it happened. The good the about it is it feels good for a very long time even if you don't achieve orgasm.
Basically get in the mood, watch porn, think about riding a horse with prince charming down a trail of roses w/e floats your boat.
play around as per google guides.
when you feel it coming on, don't let your thoughts wander and keep doing what your doing. let yourself go.
Quote from: Serenation on August 23, 2015, 10:54:52 PM
I'm at 3 months, now started to get curious at 2 months though. I didn't seem to have numbness though, you can google guides on how to do it and different types of orgasm. It's more about mood than anything else like Dena said.
have you had it happen in a dream yet?
After I had it in a dream I bought a couple vibraters and a week or two of practice later it happened. The good the about it is it feels good for a very long time even if you don't achieve orgasm.
Basically get in the mood, watch porn, think about riding a horse with prince charming down a trail of roses w/e floats your boat.
play around as per google guides.
when you feel it coming on, don't let your thoughts wander and keep doing what your doing. let yourself go.
I have never in my.life had a wet dream. It amazes me when I hear people say they had one. I get wet... but it's like.. idk is so weird. It's so different. Before I can just take care of it . Now it's like.. I have to get and Stay in the mood.
When I get in the mood is kind of hard to stay in the mood, because I don't feel as much. I have no feeling in the clit.. but if I shake my vagina.. I can feel.something.. hmm... idk.
Quote from: Dena on August 23, 2015, 09:48:28 PM
Maybe I better explain the turned on part a bit. I had a couple of years of sleepless nights and one night I was laying there thinking I wasn't going to get anymore sleep for a while and I started thinking about my body being caressed by somebody else. A warm pleasant feeling came over my entire body. The feeling remained for about half an hour when I started to worry that I wouldn't get any more sleep if the feeling remained. I was able to shut it off but for the next couple of days I had to walk around carefully because I felt the feeling might come back again if I moved wrong.
When I get horny...I feel things get big down there.... idk if that's normal or what. But the fact I just turned two months may have something to do with it.. but I feel.nothing at this time. I've tried getting in the mood.. but it's staying in the mood that really is hard. I've never had this issue. When my boyfriend is here... I feel like I can hump him and cum.
But I'll have to have panties on . Ive tried it without panties and things were... pretty numb.. I couldn't feel much. I felt more with panties on.
all to common to see a recent post op expecting sensation at a few months.
give it a whole lot more time.
think of it like this....
aside from the nerve deafness caused by the trauma of the surgery, there are tons of things going on right now in your body and mind. your healing from a major surgery, learning life over, etc. your mind is re mapping the body.
the first year post, In my opinion should focus on your accomplishments, the arrival at the destination, learning life and body, finding that new normal.
sure everyone wants the perfect result, but before you find that screaming orgasm that makes your eyes roll back in your head, you need to heal, and know your new you.
dont let sex and that orgasm pursuit become the obsession. it will come in its own time.
do the dilatation thing, when its comfortable and there is sensation beside pain, take the time to explore the new gear a lil bit more. find whats working, and how it works. try different things, see what gets your motor purring. what was, is gone, you gotta find out what is.
that solo time will pay greatly in the long run.
the concept that because we considered sex and satisfaction a normal thing before surgery, does not guarantee the same results after surgery. we start over, in a foreign body, with no owners Manuel or instructions. time , and exploration , then more time, are the tools you need to use. add in a big serving of paitance and guard against frustrations.
another thing that helps is getttin a big mirror, and watching what your doing. you will be surprised at how well that works....
It was nearly 6 mos before I had decent and near-full sensual awareness of my new sex organs. Most of my excitement comes from labia- majora, minora and clitoris stimulation. I have very little sensation more than 0.5" inside my vagina.
In many ways that's like a lot of cis-women. Of course, my arousal must also involve my mental and emotional states, which if they aren't aligned with sexual excitement then "it ain't happening."
Rachel
As others have said, at two months post-op, there is no need to be worried. Everyone heals at a different pace. For me, it was exactly 94 days after SRS that I had my first orgasm, and in the meantime, I felt just like you did. It's natural to be scared. But if I can offer just one piece of advice (beyond the already good advice that other people here have said about exploring, getting yourself into the right headspace, how mental everything is, knowing that arousal has to come first, all that's true), one other thing I would say is that stressing yourself out about it can actually be a little counterproductive. I say this as someone who definitely did stress out about it, especially when I was at a point using a vibrator felt good but I couldn't manage to orgasm. I realized that the more I stressed, the less likely I was to actually enjoy myself. So I committed myself to just relaxing, to allowing myself to heal, to just enjoying what was going on, to trusting that it would happen eventually... and my first orgasm came a few days later.
Again, everyone's timeline is different. It can happen in 3 months, it might be 6, it might be a year. As difficult as it is, try to relax and trust.
Welcome to Susan's Place estropunk. I am glad you joined us as there are few post ops on the board and your experience will be a valuable addition. My surgical knowledge is obsolete but I still can help others with life problems. If there is anything we can help you with, let us know.
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Thanks for the welcome. I mostly subscribed because in the months when I was trying to decide on a surgeon, these forums were among of the best resources I found; reading people posting about their own surgical and post-op experiences was enormously helpful. I hope that anything I have to offer might be as helpful to people in the same place I was last year. <3
I had SRS with Dr Suporn. I'm not sure if I had any numbness to speak of and I had my first orgasm 2 weeks post op. I started having them in my sleep around 3 - 4 times a week. Dr Suporn tried to get me to stop as we weren't supposed to orgasm until after 2 months, but I couldn't control what happened when I slept. I think most Suporn girls are sensate from the get go. I guess it depends on the surgeon's technique.
Yeah I don't think I had any semblence of real orgasm for a year or more after personally
Quote from: BellaSwan on November 08, 2015, 09:05:46 PM
I had SRS with Dr Suporn. I'm not sure if I had any numbness to speak of and I had my first orgasm 2 weeks post op. I started having them in my sleep around 3 - 4 times a week. Dr Suporn tried to get me to stop as we weren't supposed to orgasm until after 2 months, but I couldn't control what happened when I slept. I think most Suporn girls are sensate from the get go. I guess it depends on the surgeon's technique.
I am a Supornista too and OMG i got aroused almost everytime even when im not thinking about it. Like u said different surgeon different orgasm. Dr Suporn kept reminding me not to have any sexual thought for the first 2 months but we can't help it since he made us that way. Lol
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Quote from: Qcammy on January 10, 2016, 07:00:47 AM
I am a Supornista too and OMG i got aroused almost everytime even when im not thinking about it. Like u said different surgeon different orgasm. Dr Suporn kept reminding me not to have any sexual thought for the first 2 months but we can't help it since he made us that way. Lol
If you have any problems with this, it does say in the post op care manual that some people might need to take anti-androgens again for a while.
I was two and half months post op when i had my first orgasm. let me tell you it was great!! the best feeling in the world lol. All i did was relax let my mind be free and have the right thought by watching porn. lol it helps!! i touched and play around my clit area and the next thing you know it build up and i explored!
Quote from: AnonyMs on January 10, 2016, 07:19:32 AM
If you have any problems with this, it does say in the post op care manual that some people might need to take anti-androgens again for a while.
Yea i am back on low dosage of anti-androgen for the moment as i don't wanna hurt it coz i'm just a month old post op. Thanks for the advice
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Me too. Three months post-op and still can't get much pleasure. I bought a g-spot vibrator (lelo gigi 2) recently and even though it made me feel good emotionally, I had zero sexual pleasure. It seems like even my prostate does not work anymore. I feel like my body is broken. Being horny all the time and having a body that does not respond to genital stimulation is extremely distressing and just thinking about it makes me freak the ->-bleeped-<- out. I really hope that I will be able able to feel good sexually in a couple more months. I'm not asking to be able to orgasm, I just want to be able to experience sexual pleasure for more than 15sec. I'd better go play a video game or something, otherwise I'll spend all day lying in bed depressed.