Quote from: HackerAshley on October 22, 2015, 07:42:19 PM
I wish one of the Nascar cars had the transgender pride flags and symbols all over it.
Granted, the Confederate Battle Flag becomes the recognised symbol of transgender people world wide. Now you can't tell us from the people who loathe us.
I wish for an Emily Latella wishing ring.
Quote from: Dee Marshall on October 23, 2015, 04:47:01 AM
Granted, the Confederate Battle Flag becomes the recognised symbol of transgender people world wide. Now you can't tell us from the people who loathe us.
I wish for an Emily Latella wishing ring.
Granted but now your house is cramped with all the wishes
I wish I had longer hair and beard
Granted. Your hair and beard now encircle the globe seven thousand times.
I wish I had the best Android smartphone in the universe.
Granted. Apple copied it, called it the 7 and everyone bought it putting Android phones out of business.
I wish I was shorter.
Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk
Granted, but now you have to get all your clothes tailored to fit and have your vehicle modified so you can reach the pedals and see over the dashboard
I wish I wasn't so depressed
Granted. You're now irrationally angry at all times of day, though.
I wish my voice would come back :(
Granted, but you now talk like smeagol from Lord of the Rings.
I wish I had a bunny rabbit.
Sent from my SM-T555 using Tapatalk
Granted. Sadly it went missing for a week and unbeknown to you your next door neighbour had one as well.now you have 147,842,927,402,173,056,991,813,481,989,444,710,889,101,297,659,326,004 of them and 8 on the way.
I wish I was able to skip breakfast
Quote from: Catherine Sarah on October 24, 2015, 08:36:53 AM
Granted. Sadly it went missing for a week and unbeknown to you your next door neighbour had one as well.now you have 147,842,927,402,173,056,991,813,481,989,444,710,889,101,297,659,326,004 of them and 8 on the way.
I wish I was able to skip breakfast
OMG I lost count after 991 decillion rabbits there. Is that enough to bury the Earth at all? Anyways,
Granted, but soon you come across a catastrophic shift in your timeline that could've been prevented had you eaten breakfast every day.
I wish that people didn't have to be jerks to one another.
Granted, but it means the rise of Big Brother and the total collapse of the economy.
I wish I had a cat.
Granted. His name is Cuddles, he clocks in at over 400 lbs, and he eats his full weight in antelope every week.
I wish I could see into the future.
Granted, but now you only have one eye and can only see your own death.
I wish I didn't have this beard stubble.
Granted! Enjoy your face tentacles >:D
I wish I had a book that anything I wrote in it would come true exactly and couldn't be used by anyone else.
Granted, but you become dyslexic and mess things up pretty badly.
I wish my contact lenses wouldn't be so dry
Granted. Now you are The Human Waterfall of Tears, and the government wants you to rehydrate the desert.
I wish I was the Queen of the Universe.
Granted but you're overthrown in an extraterrestrial coupe within a month of your reign.
I wish I could restore an old house I loved.
Granted, but you bought it in a real estate bubble.
I wish I could make millions of dollars a day.
Granted, but it doesn't take very long for the police to discover the printer you use to make them.
I wish people would respect nature more.
Granted, but now shoes have been banned worldwide, because of the damage they were doing to the ground, so you are forced to walk around barefoot, and there's always a large stone waiting with your big toe's name on it.
I wish my cats could talk.
Granted, but they have abusively foul mouths and curse and swear while telling you dirty jokes and insults
I wish my apt. was beach front property rather far inland near an active volcano
Granted. It was pretty lucky finding a lake so far underground. But the water is sulfuric and hard to drink, and you quickly begin to miss the sun.
I wish politicians could not lie.
Granted. Honest Abe Lincoln comes back as a zombie, and runs for president on the "can I get fries with that?" Ticket, after eating Donald Trump's hairpiece.
I wish mullets were back in style.
Granted, the politicians in the state where you live mandate under state law that all citizens have mullet wigs stapled to their heads
I wish I wasn't so worried about finances
GRANTED !!!!!!!!
We interrupt this thread with an urgent news item
~~~ BREAKING NEWS ~~~
It's been reported that rescue crews are rushing to Susans website. There appears to be a malfunction with one of the threads. Corrupt A Wish V2.has gone rogue and is granting wishes WITHOUT corruption. Software engineers have released a statement reassuring members the corruption will be repaired shortly. In the meantime, embrace your granted status.
<All relay stations please resume normal programming> < Stand clear doors closing> << This thread terminates here, all out all change please >>
I wish everyone was as insane as me (Gawd help us)
Granted!!! >:-) The world is now like the Meet the Pyro video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUhOnX8qt3I)
I wish I had the ability to browse the internet and connect to Wi-Fi with my mind.
Granted, but every time you access the Internet your mind is downloaded to Facebook.
I wish I knew how to expertly play every musical instrument.
Granted, but you now have fingers like Edward Scissorhands.
I wish Darth Vader ran for president.
Granted, but he is eaten by Honest Abe Lincoln Zombie who came back just to eat Donald Trump's hairpiece and is now running for president on the "Can I Get Fries With That" Ticket, and according to the latest Gallup Poll numbers, is eating his way towards victory.
I wish my Edward Scissor hands changed back to normal hands, and I could still expertly play every musical instrument.
Quote from: kittenpower on October 26, 2015, 02:12:44 PM
Granted, but he is eaten by Honest Abe Lincoln Zombie who came back just to eat Donald Trump's hairpiece and is now running for president on the "Can I Get Fries With That" Ticket, and according to the latest Gallup Poll numbers, is eating his way towards victory.
I wish my Edward Scissor hands changed back to normal hands, and I could still expertly play every musical instrument.
granted but you can no longer hear and enjoy music.
i wish i could see the future, specifically my transition.
Quote from: LJP on October 26, 2015, 02:41:10 PM
granted but you can no longer hear and enjoy music.
i wish i could see the future, specifically my transition.
Granted, but everything you see is the worst case that is at all likely.
I wish everyone would just have more empathy for one another.
Granted, but it makes everyone SUPER passive.
I wish I could play bass.
Granted, but every time you play it summons the Spirit of Evil Clowns.
I wish I owned Microsoft.
Granted. However while you were in holidays, Apple bought you out for a song. You're now looking for your next job.
I wish all desserts weren't fatting.
Granted, but since fat is basically flavor in any kind of cooking, all those fat free desserts taste like cardboard XP
I wish my dogs didn't bark at everything that moves.
Granted. Now they bark at everything that's still.
I wish I had a Batmobile.
Granted, but it's broken down and beyond repair, the wheels are off, and it's sitting on cement blocks in your front yard (because the genie who granted your wish was a redneck genie, and some of it rubbed off on you).
I wish for 3 more wishes.
Granted, but they all come with 300% more corruption than the average wish granted here.
I wish that I could control time.
Granted, but every time you control time you get a millimeter taller.
I wish I was invincible.
Granted, but now you are a Samsonite suitcase.
I wish I had a flying carpet.
Granted, but now you've been grounded by the FAA and face paying a heavy fine for obstructing and endangering commercial air traffic
I wish a tornado would come and gently carry my apt. to the tropical beach front property of my choice
Granted, but before carrying you to your destination, the tornado takes a detour and carries you and your apt. to Oz, where you meet good witch Glenda, become romantically involved, and then leave her for the wicked witch of the west, because she is too femme, and then after a few months of putting up with that royal bitch, you find your way back to the tornado, and are then whisked away with your apt. to your lovely beach front destination, but your apt. is demolished inside the tornado, and you are forced to live in a make-shift shelter, and earn your living as a juggling, rollerblading street performer.
I wish I was time traveler.
Granted. Now you are a copy of the classic H.G Wells book,The Time Traveler.
I wish I knew everything.
Granted but you quickly go mad.
I wish I was a dragon.
Granted. Sadly you developed a nasty cold on a windy day. You coughed and sneezed at he same time into a raging head wind. You were subsequently self incinerated. Oh! And the ashes were blown away in he next wind. So there's absolutely nothing left, only the good things you've done here in the family.
I wish I cold go to bed early for a change. ;D
Granted, but on the one day you can, a serial bed killer breaks into your apartment, shreds your bed with a chainsaw, and is found eating the remains of it when you walk in.
I wish I had a pen with spell-check.
Quote from: SilverWing on October 28, 2015, 11:30:34 AM
Granted, but on the one day you can, a serial bed killer breaks into your apartment, shreds your bed with a chainsaw, and is found eating the remains of it when you walk in.
I wish I had a pen with spell-check.
Granted, but now it is stuck on autocorrect and never ends up with the right words
I wish I owned all the cats in the world
Granted but the smell drives your house property value several feet below ground.
I wish I didn't have anxiety.
Granted. You become one of the Agents from the Matrix.
I wish I could interface with technology with my mind.
Granted, now KyleEdric is after you.
I wish that from this point on the wishes on this thread are not corrupted.
(Yes, that was mean. I want to see how clever you all are.)
Granted, the wishes are no longer corrupted, but rather they are even more corrupt than before
I wish the construction crew across the street were building a new grocery store rather than another apt. building that will be packed like lemmings full of uni students
Granted, but I would stay out of the meat department if I were you! Goodness, what's become of the uni students?
I wish I had figured myself out at a younger age.
Granted, you figure yourself out at an early age but no-one else understands and you become a reclusive junkie strung out on medium cheddar cheese and Ritz crackers where upon your box of Triscuits become jealous and accuse you of being unfaithful
I wish I could open my own CAFÉ
Granted, but everyone who eats there thinks your food tastes like rocks with a frosting of sand.
I wish I had faster internet.
Granted, but you have to use windows 95.
I wish I would never have a headache again
Sent from my SM-G900W8 using Tapatalk
Granted. The nerves in your head, including the ones connecting your brain and the rest of your body, stop functioning. Now you will never have a headache again......at the cost of being completely paralysed.
I wish my houseplants were healthier.
Granted, your house plants take over your home and you awake to find yourself strapped to your bed by vines just about the time your alarm clock that you can't reach starts to ring and you realize that you need to pee really badly and then get a drink of water before getting ready for the day
I wish I didn't feel so stressed out and could normalize my sleep habits
Granted. You normalised your sleeping habits so well, you now sleep 24/7/365 (366 in a leap year) This has had an amazing effect on your stress levels, which too, have gone to sleep. You now miss the rest of your life, BUT you wake (eventually) refreshed.
I wish everyone in the world won the lottery (all together)
Granted but we all win a grand total of 00.00000000000003 cents.
I wish I didn't get emotionally drained when listening to political arguments.
Granted, now when you listen to political arguments you just get bored and annoyed and make satirical jokes about the various candidates
I wish I could slip into a coma
Granted, but you wake up to a 28 Days Later situation, and you're totally unprepared.
I wish girls that were mean and manipulative were no longer mean and manipulative.
Quote from: KyleEdric on October 30, 2015, 10:39:00 AM
Granted but we all win a grand total of 00.00000000000003 cents.
I'm expecting a cheque in the mail, please.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: KyleEdric on October 30, 2015, 04:54:28 PM
Granted, but you wake up to a 28 Days Later situation, and you're totally unprepared.
I wish girls that were mean and manipulative were no longer mean and manipulative.
Granted, the "girls" are now "women" that are mean and manipulative.
I wish Trump never becomes prez in the US.
Granted. Trump instead switches places with Vladimir Putin, who becomes the new US president due to the Westboro Baptist Church, the KKK and some random Neo-Nazis deciding to sabotage the elections all at the same time. Meanwhile, Trump becomes the Tsar emperor dictator president of Russia, and manages to drive the entire country into a massive financial crisis, causing China to decide "Now we can be rid of Russia" and conquer it in seventeen days. Soon, a new Cold War starts between the US and China.
I wish that all of the above would have zero chance of ever happening.
Sadly, due to progammng limitations,"Corrupt-A-Wish 2.0" can not grant this wish. The parameters you've stated are far too close to the truth and with the high predictability of this actually happening prohibits the assembler language to discount it occuring. The writers of Corrupt-A-Wish 2.0 had only ever thought the sublime and ridiculous could ever be granted.
However in keeping with the spirit of the thread, special dispensation has been granted, and conditional granting (terms and conditions apply) of this wish has been approved.
The Cold War starts almost immediately, freezing all stakeholders (including the Hughes Corporation) and allowing us meer mortals to live yet another day.
I wish that all the streets were paved in gold
Granted. Now asphalt is the most valuable substance, and the economy is ruined.
I wish the Founding Fathers came back to run our country.
Quote from: SilverWing on October 31, 2015, 04:51:18 PM
Granted. Now asphalt is the most valuable substance, and the economy is ruined.
I wish the Founding Fathers came back to run our country.
Granted, the founding father come back as zombie robot vampire ghost pirates and rebuild the USA with giant robots made from Mt. Rushmore and lady liberty.
I wish everyone lived forever.
Granted, everyone is now lives forever because they are made of plastic
I wish this corrupt a wish thread wasn't so darn funny.
Quote from: Kova V on October 31, 2015, 10:43:29 PM
Granted, the founding father come back as zombie robot vampire ghost pirates and rebuild the USA with giant robots made from Mt. Rushmore and lady liberty.
I wish everyone lived forever.
Granted, but now its a depressing "trans people probs" thread.
I wish I had more pretty dresses.
Granted. Now your entire wardrobe consists of a big pile of pretty dresses, and nothing else. No underwear, no socks, no shoes. Just dresses, dresses, and more dresses.
I wish that everything was awesome.
Granted. Everything IS awesome thanks to the wonderful miracle drug soma! Any valued citizen NOT partaking in soma will be considered a social outcast. *whispers* Brave New World reference... ._.
I wish I could write like the top authors.
Quote from: KyleEdric on November 01, 2015, 04:39:17 PM
Granted. Everything IS awesome thanks to the wonderful miracle drug soma! Any valued citizen NOT partaking in soma will be considered a social outcast. *whispers* Brave New World reference... ._.
I wish I could write like the top authors.
Granted Your now write like one of top baby book authors.
I wish is it was October 2016 already.
Granted. You fall out of time and return in October 2016, only to find yourself in the middle of the Apocalypse.
I wish I could make objects out of thin air with my mind.
Granted, but all those objects are hello kitty or spongebob branded and you're sued for copyright infringement.
I wish this morning had never happened.
Granted. Time has now ceased to exist entirely (just like in the DMV!).
I wish I had an army of vampire zombie ghost pirates.
Granted. Now you are an army general in an alternate reality, in which everybody is a walking corpse that oozes ectoplasm, has bat wings and looks like Edward Teach. Everybody.
I wish I had gotten better grades at school.
Granted, you get great grades even honers in school and so now people are even more expectant of you than they already were
I wish I would have kept some of my inventive ideas to myself until first obtaining a patent
Granted. The oil companies caught wind of it, and they burned down your house and all the drafts of the idea.
I wish my phone boot animation was cooler.
*
If I may jump in with this one with what seems an inside concept.
- The presentation statement is: a 20-year-old guy wishes for the greatest head of hair and to never go bald.
- The responce is: he must take the full dose of finasteride for the rest of his life.
Allow me to make this point to be certain: Finasteride could possibly grow hair on a cue ball, yet a male so eager to restore his full head of hair will lose his 'male'-hood. Not a problem here, eh.
Sorry, this is my first post on this thread idea; I'm not good at this or telling jokes.
*
Granted. Your male hood is lost as well as the cue ball in the biggest hair ball ever seen. In fact it over the world and no one ever got home on that day because of the hair.
I wish I had a million wishes.
You now have a million wishes, but they don't work.
I wish I could actually interact with my dog without her trying to bite me.
granted. now you only speak dog language. I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow
Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk
Granted. You wake up tomorrow to find you are the only person left on the face of the Earth, so you take the day off.
I wish I wasn't allergic to cats & dogs anymore.
Granted. Now you are allergic to humans instead.
I wish that I had some actually good ideas for wishing.
Granted. They were so inspirationally brilliant in fact that none of them were possible to grant, they were soooo magnificent.
I wish summer was all year round
Granted, but that means constant problems with evil stinging wasps and no snow... EVER.
I wish I was on T already
Granted, but you're now a Yeti wearing awful t-shirt who only drinks tea
I wish I had a dog
granted. now everyone else suddenly disappears and you and your dog are the only ones on the planet.
I was I didn't have to go to class
Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk
Granted, because the school closed down due to budget cuts and now you have to start over in a new school.
I wish someone would pay my power bill for me.
Granted your power is paid for, but you now have to pay everyone's else mortgages, and power bills.
I wish there were more hours in a day.
Granted, but it totally screws with everyone's circadian rhythm and throws off working hours.
I wish I didn't have this stent for my kidney anymore >.<
Granted, the stent is removed but on the way home you come across a pair of magic clogs and when you try them on your feet they fit perfectly
Problem is the no matter how hard you try, the shoes won't come off and no matter where you go you think you are in Holland and now no-one understands you
I wish I had more true friendships
I wish that all of the LGBTQ+ community would be accepted for who they are
...( first you have to grant VM's wish )
The lgbtq community is accepted and you get millions of dollars...
Then you forget that you have millions of dollars... lol
Poor VM has been waiting months for her wish. You now have thousands of true friends. But they all want to talk on the phone and you can't get anything done.
I wish I didn't have to wait for appointments.
Quote from: KathyLauren on July 31, 2016, 07:11:30 PM
Poor VM has been waiting months for her wish. You now have thousands of true friends. But they all want to talk on the phone and you can't get anything done.
I wish I didn't have to wait for appointments.
Granted! Unfortunately they lost your records.
I wish I had my own place.
You have your own place in your cell room.
I wish I'm born a girl
Granted! However, you're a girl forever that never grows up, experiences puberty, or gets married.
I wish the world wouldn't end.
Granted. Now the world never ends, and instead starts to slowly turn into a horrifying dystopia that just keeps getting worse as ages pass. And you're aware that's going to happen and can do absolutely nothing to stop it.
I wish I didn't have social anxiety.
Granted! In fact, you have so little qualms about social gatherings, you wind up joining a massive cult that rises up to destroy the nation.
I wish volcanoes erupted with candy instead of lava.
Quote from: KyleEdric on November 25, 2016, 10:04:14 AM
Granted! In fact, you have so little qualms about social gatherings, you wind up joining a massive cult that rises up to destroy the nation.
I wish volcanoes erupted with candy instead of lava.
Granted! Now volcanoes erupt with white-hot molten candy, burning everything with their sweet sweet goodness!
I wish the weather was always nice.
Granted. The weather is so nice that it is boring and you start wishing for a change of pace.
I wish for peace, employment, education, and .... affordable health care. I know, nice try.
Quote from: LordKAT on December 24, 2016, 12:30:44 AMI wish for peace, employment, education, and .... affordable health care. I know, nice try.
You get a job in the Peace Corps teaching first aid in a small village in Botswana. They practice first aid on you for free.
I wish I had new running shoes that fit as perfectly as my old running shoes.
Granted! You now have another pair of the best fitting running shoes that you've ever owned, unfortunately all your other shoes mysteriously disappeared in the middle of the night.
I wish I had a Brompton.
Granted, you get a folding bike, but you fold yourself in it by accident and can't get unstuck.
I wish I had a giant bouncy castle.
(And also that people revive this thread with me, it's hilarious)
Quote from: November Fox on February 01, 2018, 04:34:35 PM
Granted, you get a folding bike, but you fold yourself in it by accident and can't get unstuck.
I wish I had a giant bouncy castle.
(And also that people revive this thread with me, it's hilarious)
Granted, you get your bouncy castle but someone filled it full of gas and someone smoked a joint in it.
I wish I had the answers to everything.
Granted, you now have an answer for everything, unfortunately it's all the wrong answers for everything
I wish I could levitate my groceries to my place rather than having to ride my bike to the store to go get them
Quote from: V M on February 01, 2018, 06:05:58 PM
Granted, you now have an answer for everything, unfortunately it's all the wrong answers for everything
I wish I could levitate my groceries to my place rather than having to ride my bike to the store to go get them
Granted, a pot smoking Genie has just elevated your groceries to your home.
Unfortunately, the Genie got the munchies and ate them all :)
The genie is confused at the lack of any wish, so he arbitrarily decides that you wished to spontaneously explode.
I wish for a flying car.
Quote from: Jamie_06 on February 19, 2018, 01:59:29 PM
The genie is confused at the lack of any wish, so he arbitrarily decides that you wished to spontaneously explode.
I wish for a flying car.
Granted, you have a flying car that just ran out of gas.
I wish for flying monkey!
Quote from: Cassi on February 19, 2018, 02:15:23 PM
Granted, you have a flying car that just ran out of gas.
I wish for flying monkey!
Granted, you have your flying monkey but some kid in expensive shoes just threw a bucket of water on you.
I wish for another wish
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Quote from: TonyaW on February 19, 2018, 02:47:45 PM
Granted, you have your flying monkey but some kid in expensive shoes just threw a bucket of water on you.
I wish for another wish
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
Granted your sent back in time like your wish never occurred.
I wish that my spouse gets the clarity they need and are looking for in regards to their gender without having any affect on my gender.
Granted. After being assimilated, I realize that we are all one with the Borg and gender is irrelevant. I then assimilate you so we can still be together.
I wish for fish!
Quote from: Jamie_06 on February 19, 2018, 04:28:55 PM
Granted. After being assimilated, I realize that we are all one with the Borg and gender is irrelevant. I then assimilate you so we can still be together.
I wish for fish!
Granted! A great white shark comes up the drain while you're soaking in the tub.
I wish to remember nothing, at all.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Granted, your mind is a complete blank.
However, a mad scientist has just cloned your brain to be an exact copy of Donald Trump!
This time, the genie arbitrarily declares that you wished to have Mike Pence's brain to go with her.
I wish I could breathe underwater as well as in air.
Your wish to breathe in air, on land and in sea is granted.
However, you will pass gas that reminds within one foot of your breathing orfices.
I wish, I wish, I wish............................................
Quote from: Cassi on February 19, 2018, 10:47:40 PM
Your wish to breathe in air, on land and in sea is granted.
However, you will pass gas that reminds within one foot of your breathing orfices.
I wish, I wish, I wish....................t......................
Granted you no longer have any wishes left.
I wish that the actual real physical entire earth was made out of Pizza
Granted, the earth is made of Pizza, unfortunately you have to develop a taste for dirt, rocks and trees and stuff
I wish watching TV was free for everyone again
Granted, TV is now officially funded and controlled by the government and Donald Trump has complete control over what is broadcast.
I wish I was a dinosaur.
Quote from: V M on October 26, 2015, 01:29:41 AM
I wish my apt. was beach front property rather far inland near an active volcano
Granted, but it's by Pompeii
I wish I was at professional level for at least 1 competitive video game.
Quote from: Sam314 on March 01, 2018, 09:15:45 PM
Granted, but it's by Pompeii
I wish I was at professional level for at least 1 competitive video game.
Granted you are now the #1 Pac-Woman player of the world stuck in a time-loop in 1985.
I wish that none of my wishes were bad or backfired!
Quote from: Cassi on March 01, 2018, 10:42:53 PM
I wish that none of my wishes were bad or backfired!
Granted. You can no longer wish, hope or dream, you are utterly emotionless but in reality, isn't this perfect?
I wish I had my friend back :(
Quote from: Sam314 on March 01, 2018, 11:15:12 PM
Granted. You can no longer wish, hope or dream, you are utterly emotionless but in reality, isn't this perfect?
I wish I had my friend back :(
Wish granted! You have your friend back but it's me! I wish there were snacks in the ice box.
Quote from: Cassi on March 01, 2018, 11:49:22 PM
I wish there were snacks in the ice box.
Granted, but there's no ice.
I wish I could be less anxious.
Quote from: Sam314 on March 02, 2018, 12:04:56 AM
Granted, but there's no ice.
I wish I could be less anxious.
Granted, your recognative abilities have been zapped so you go with the flow and anxiety was a passing ebb.
However, now that you are no longer anxious, you become bored very quickly!
Quote from: Cassi on March 02, 2018, 12:52:40 AM
Granted, your recognative abilities have been zapped so you go with the flow and anxiety was a passing ebb.
However, now that you are no longer anxious, you become bored very quickly!
Oh my god my curse on you worked! You didn't make a wish!! :o
Quote from: Sam314 on March 02, 2018, 01:17:38 AM
Oh my god my curse on you worked! You didn't make a wish!! :o
Yes indeed Sam! You've cured me. I must go out and announce it to the world :)
I wish to become a goddess.
Quote from: Jamie_06 on March 11, 2018, 07:12:58 AM
I wish to become a goddess.
Granted, but you are the goddess of wishes and must answer all of them, every day.
I wish I could learn to let go of the pain of my past.
Quote from: Artesia on March 11, 2018, 08:14:41 AM
Granted, but you are the goddess of wishes and must answer all of them, every day.
I wish I could learn to let go of the pain of my past.
Granted, a small meteorite hit you in the head and you now have selective memory loss and repeat remembering the first time you rode a bike.
I wish I could sing higher.
Granted, but everytime you start singing all the glass and ceramics begin to crack and break and all the dogs in the area follow you around howling
I wish I had enough money to move to somewhere I would like to live
Quote from: V M on March 11, 2018, 02:54:34 PM
Granted, but everytime you start singing all the glass and ceramics begin to crack and break and all the dogs in the area follow you around howling
I wish I had enough money to move to somewhere I would like to live
Granted. You have no more money than before, but you're dissatisfied with everywhere you consider living.
I wish for nothing.
The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.
Be content with having plenty.
Be content with having little.
Be humble.
Be grateful. Give thanks.
I wish you all joy and peace.
And love... Try to give always lots of it.
Chrissy
Live long and prosper!
:police:
Back on topic
I wish my spouse the ability to grow up.
Quote from: Mariah on March 12, 2018, 12:40:07 AM
:police:
Back on topic
I wish my spouse the ability to grow up.
Your spouse grows up and takes a train to timbucktoo.
I wish someone would clean my house.
I wish that housecleaning needs go away, make everything that should not be thrown away self cleaning.
Chrissy
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on March 12, 2018, 01:15:13 PM
I wish that housecleaning needs go away, make everything that should not be thrown away self cleaning.
Chrissy
Wish granted - you now live in a vacuum and you constantly clean yourself!
I wish I'd quit shrinking.....................
Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 01:34:05 PM
Wish granted - you now live in a vacuum and you constantly clean yourself!
I wish I'd quit shrinking.....................
If you continue to shrink, that is less for you to bathe. :)
Cool
Quote from: Cassi on March 12, 2018, 01:34:05 PM
Wish granted - you now live in a vacuum and you constantly clean yourself!
I wish I'd quit shrinking.....................
Wish granted! you've quit shrinking, unfortunately dust-mites appear to be the size of skyscrapers in comparison.
I wish I wasn't so bored.
Quote from: Geeker on March 18, 2018, 03:48:54 PM
Wish granted! you've quit shrinking, unfortunately dust-mites appear to be the size of skyscrapers in comparison.
I wish I wasn't so bored.
Wish granted, you are no longer bored. Unfortunately you now have to put up with me.
I wish I was in the Land of Cotton........................
Wish granted but it's your job to pick it.
I wish I could shapeshift...
Quote from: PollyQMcLovely on March 18, 2018, 04:50:26 PM
Wish granted but it's your job to pick it.
I wish I could shapeshift...
Wish granted you're now a shapehshifter. However, the tribe's shalman has trapped you in a glass bottle filled with dried sage leaves.
I wish that I had psychic abilities.
Wish granted but now you have to convince that shaman to let me out of the bottle.
I wish I could fly...
Quote from: PollyQMcLovely on March 18, 2018, 05:02:31 PM
Wish granted but now you have to convince that shaman to let me out of the bottle.
I wish I could fly...
Wish granted. I told the Shaman (thanks for spelling correction) that you were radioactive so he threw you and the bottle into the air which was hit by a small meteorite and set you free. You can now fly but have like 10 seconds to learn how.
I wish my daughter would figure out what she wants to do today :)
Wish granted but she figured out she wants to think of a way for a shapeshifter to survive falling from a great height. On the plus side this involves learning lots of physics so now she can be the next Hawking.
I wish see the new Avengers movie right now.
Quote from: PollyQMcLovely on March 18, 2018, 07:11:10 PM
Wish granted but she figured out she wants to think of a way for a shapeshifter to survive falling from a great height. On the plus side this involves learning lots of physics so now she can be the next Hawking.
I wish see the new Avengers movie right now.
Wish granted - The New Avengers movie your watching had terrible actors replacing Emma Peele and John Steed.
I wish I had a bod like Wonder Woman!
Granted, all images of wonder woman have been changed to look like you.
I wish I had my doctorate in clinical psychology now.
Quote from: Artesia on March 19, 2018, 11:21:00 PM
Granted, all images of wonder woman have been changed to look like you.
I wish I had my doctorate in clinical psychology now.
Wish granted but your name is now Anna Freud and you are now too old to practice.
I wish I have good dreams tonight.
Quote from: Artesia on March 19, 2018, 11:21:00 PM
Granted, all images of wonder woman have been changed to look like you.
I wish I had my doctorate in clinical psychology now.
Granted... All your clients are transgender combat veterans with a bizarre obsession with the art of fine cooking
I wish I could decide what to make for dinner
Quote from: V M on March 19, 2018, 11:49:12 PM
Granted... All your clients are transgender combat veterans with a bizarre obsession with the art of fine cooking
I wish I could decide what to make for dinner
Wish granted, you're making a mess for dinner
I wish that I can hide before VM smacks me :)
Quote from: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 11:44:02 PM
Wish granted but your name is now Anna Freud and you are now too old to practice.
I wish I have good dreams tonight.
Granted... You now dream that you are Julia Childs
I wish I had a French Dip sandwich
Quote from: Cassi on March 19, 2018, 11:51:48 PM
Wish granted, you're making a mess for dinner
I wish that I can hide before VM smacks me :)
Granted... But your wish came too late
I wish my plate of lasagna would heat it'self
Quote from: V M on March 19, 2018, 11:52:39 PM
Granted... You now dream that you are Julia Childs
I wish I had a French Dip sandwich
Granted you had a French Dip Sandwiched between two moldy pieces of Italian Bread
I wish I could start making money off my weird humor.
Granted... The local comedy clubs pool together to pay you to move somewhere else
I wish the glue would dry quicker on the puzzle I just glued so I can finish mounting it
Quote from: V M on March 20, 2018, 12:01:36 AM
Granted... The local comedy clubs pool together to pay you to move somewhere else
I wish the glue would dry quicker on the puzzle I just glued so I can finish mounting it
Wish granted - the glue dried so quickly your fingers are permanently attacked to the puzzle and you'll be part of the display.
I wish the local comedy clubs miss me when I'm gone.
Granted... But then they are relieved when you show up for your scheduled shows because they weren't able to book anyone else quickly enough
I wish I had a more wicked sense of humor
Quote from: V M on March 20, 2018, 12:20:01 AM
Granted... But then they are relieved when you show up for your scheduled shows because they weren't able to book anyone else quickly enough
I wish I had a more wicked sense of humor
Wish granted but your flying monkeys are going on strike!
I wish my dogs could talk
Quote from: Cassi on March 20, 2018, 12:40:25 AM
Wish granted but your flying monkeys are going on strike!
I wish my dogs could talk
Granted... But your dogs talk to my monkeys and now they are all on strike
I wish I could use the restroom without some either calling me on the phone or knocking on my door
Quote from: V M on March 20, 2018, 01:08:05 AM
Granted... But your dogs talk to my monkeys and now they are all on strike
I wish I could use the restroom without some either calling me on the phone or knocking on my door
Wish granted! Your phone has been replaced with a can with a string attached to it and your door has been removed.
I wish my sinus would clear up sooner after getting up in the morning.
Granted... The moment you sit up at the edge of your bed your sinuses drain and splatter all over your feet
I wish I could sleep better and have more energy when I wake up
Quote from: V M on March 20, 2018, 01:59:06 PM
Granted... The moment you sit up at the edge of your bed your sinuses drain and splatters all over your feet
I wish I could sleep better
And I just painted my toes - great ceasar's snot!!!!!
Wish granted - however, you have to call the VA and make an appointment for their Sleep Clinic.
I wish that my CPAP mask just fit into my nose :)
Quote from: V M on March 19, 2018, 11:49:12 PM
Granted... All your clients are transgender combat veterans with a bizarre obsession with the art of fine cooking
Believe it or not, this is exactly who I want to be able to help after receiving my doctorate.......in 9 years or so.
I wish the recipe I found for Mac & Cheese Balls works out and I can defuse the Claymores I have scattered on the perimeter of me casa!
Quote from: Cassi on March 21, 2018, 12:29:02 AM
I wish the recipe I found for Mac & Cheese Balls works out and I can defuse the Claymores I have scattered on the perimeter of me casa!
Granted! Your Mac & Cheese Balls come out disgusting but it works out well, as they clog and erode the Claymore mechanisms. Better still, the odour of decaying Mac and Cheese is an even bigger deterrent than the Claymores, so you spend the rest of your life as lonely spinster like me.
I wish for Ed Harris or Bruce Willis to be my boyfriend or, if that's too much to ask, I wish for a boyfriend.