What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?
Whilst in denial or before coming out, what stereotype pissed you off and made you say defiantely "Well, that can't be true of all men/women. I'm not like that!'?
That "men" don't cry! ::) What a load of tripe!
That all men are constantly obsessed with sex and "conquering" women as sexual objects.
~Kate~
That all women should want to be mothers and all girls want to play at being mothers.
Quote from: Nero on September 23, 2007, 10:15:34 PM
What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?
Whilst in denial or before coming out, what stereotype pissed you off and made you say defiantely "Well, that can't be true of all men/women. I'm not like that!'?
I've never compllied with a stereotype image and never been in denial......We all have a different way in which we came into this and your question is like a stereotype in itself as you are stereotyping us all in the same box.....as being in denial or having to come out...
Posted on: September 23, 2007, 11:26:46 PM
Quote from: Kate on September 23, 2007, 10:59:42 PM
That all men are constantly obsessed with sex and "conquering" women as sexual objects.
~Kate~
That's a good one Kate..
Ha that real men don't like to cuddle. proved them wrong. No wait...DOH. Oh well
Beni
Quote from: Berliegh on September 23, 2007, 11:40:49 PM
Quote from: Nero on September 23, 2007, 10:15:34 PM
What stereotype of your birth sex upset you the most?
Whilst in denial or before coming out, what stereotype pissed you off and made you say defiantely "Well, that can't be true of all men/women. I'm not like that!'?
I've never compllied with a stereotype image and never been in denial......We all have a different way in which we came into this and your question is like a stereotype in itself as you are stereotyping us all in the same box.....as being in denial or having to come out...
You're splitting hairs here. There is always a 'coming out' process even if one began living as their true gender in primary school. If one is TS, there had to be a point in one's life where they were assumed to be their birth gender.
"Men don't have long hair" >sigh<
men are supposed to be aggressive
'u gotta marry a good man' I told my mom 'noooooooo dont wanna marry no dude & cry all nite' she never knew why. now she do. :laugh:
Quote from: Butterfly on September 24, 2007, 01:18:36 AM
"Men don't have long hair" >sigh<
That's a new one on me....I've had long hair since I was 11 (longer than it is now) and no one had ever complained about it.....
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on September 24, 2007, 02:19:07 AM
men are supposed to be aggressive
That's another new one on me.....I was never fed this kind of stuff...
I'm from the U.K so maybe it's differen't to America..
that all men like women and that all women like men. really? i'm a woman and don't like men so go figure.
Quote from: Berliegh on September 24, 2007, 02:54:16 AM
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on September 24, 2007, 02:19:07 AM
men are supposed to be aggressive
That's another new one on me.....I was never fed this kind of stuff...
Well, not quite aggressive, but how about 'strong', 'tough' or even 'intensely competitive'?
That's the main one for me. I distinctly remember the point where I disowned that kind of masculinity: a couple of decades ago in reserve officer training, one of the instructors jumped on me for not being sharp enough standing up to answer in class. My response -- not voiced, of course -- was essentially 'All right, sir, f* you too. I'll be what I am.' It took a long time to realise that he was in fact right in thinking I was not man enough. :)
Nfr
Quote from: Berliegh on September 24, 2007, 02:54:16 AM
Quote from: Butterfly on September 24, 2007, 01:18:36 AM
"Men don't have long hair" >sigh<
That's a new one on me....
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on September 24, 2007, 02:19:07 AM
men are supposed to be aggressive
That's another new one on me........
Good..there's a first time for everything. Obviously as people we aren't the same and are "fed" all kinds of tripe when young.
Quote from: Butterfly on September 24, 2007, 05:07:43 AM
Quote from: Berliegh on September 24, 2007, 02:54:16 AM
Quote from: Butterfly on September 24, 2007, 01:18:36 AM
"Men don't have long hair" >sigh<
That's a new one on me....
Quote from: Jessie_Heart on September 24, 2007, 02:19:07 AM
men are supposed to be aggressive
That's another new one on me........
Good..there's a first time for everything. Obviously as people we aren't the same and are "fed" all kinds of tripe when young.
From the information I've read from people's posts it seems America is a much less liberal and harder country when it comes to gender stereotypes..than the U.K..
Quote from: Berliegh on September 24, 2007, 05:49:29 AM
From the information I've read from people's posts it seems America is a much less liberal and harder country when it comes to gender stereotypes..than the U.K..
Not necessarily -- it depends a bit on just where, and even more on how you look at things. Also, by the way, Butterfly, Jeannette and I are European (and not from the most conservative regions, at that).
Nfr
most of the stereotypes I was fed as a kid came straight from my father. after I was grown it came to my attention that he secretely has sexual incounters with other men and at that point I realized that alot of times when someone is so against what they see as weaknesses in us and yell about and try to force or beat out of us it is only because what they see in us emphizies what they believe to be weaknesses in themselves and it angers them to be reminded that they are not the people they want everyone to think they are.
Quote from: Kate on September 23, 2007, 10:59:42 PM
That all men are constantly obsessed with sex and "conquering" women as sexual objects.
~Kate~
I agree 100% with Kate. "C'mon, let's do to a strip club," "Hey, check out that girl's butt," "Dude, don't tell me you wouldn't do her." Just some of the rude comments that left me feeling upset and feeling confused about myself, especially in my early 20's. I knew what I was in my head, but to confront it head on by guy's ignorance was a harsh lesson to learn.
I got to the point where I just stopped making comments and seeming to go along, I would say things like "Nah, that's not my thing," "You know girl's are more than just a piece of meat you make them out to be," and "I don't 'do' anyone, I don't believe in physical without feelings attached." It became easier and easier the more I took a stand.
Sure, I got the "what are you, gay?" comments from my friends all the time in the beginning, but who cares, I was being honest with myself. To me, Nero, this was just one more clue that I really didn't get my birth gender at all. Although, I know not all guys are like that, many of them I came into contact with were.
Quote from: MeghanAndrews on September 24, 2007, 09:00:30 AM
Sure, I got the "what are you, gay?" comments from my friends all the time in the beginning,
I got to where I loved getting these comments because where ever we were I would make a scene by responding with
" to be honest yes and I have to admit I am just so into you will you marry me" as a joke and making sure people near heard it! my friends asking if I was gay after a few situations like that
Quote from: Seshatneferw on September 24, 2007, 04:59:39 AM
Well, not quite aggressive, but how about 'strong', 'tough' or even 'intensely competitive'?
On a couple of similar notes:
The way if a male is a bit aggressive socially, he's 'strong' but if a woman displays the same level of aggression in the same context, she's being a type of bully that rhymes with 'twitch.'
Or. If a young girl (the effect seems to lessen for adult women) wants to participate in some stereotypical boy activity, she 'wants to compete with the boys' and show that 'girls are just as good as boys.' If a boy does it, he's doing it 'cause it's fun, but if a girl does it, it's because she's tough and aggressive and trying to prove something.
I was thinking about the "men don't cry" one and it occurred to me that there's a flip-side to that -- the irritating idea that women and girls
do cry, all the time, and that if she's
not crying she must not feel strongly about it, or be genuinely upset. Add another idea -- that women cry to be manipulative -- and you get a really wonderful catch-22. Whee. If she's not crying, she doesn't mean it. If she is crying, she doesn't really mean it, she's just crying so she'll get her way.
Once upon a time
My Mom: Why are you crying, Tink?
Four year old Tink: Because I want a dress like Jenny's (referring to my cousin)
My Mom: How many times am I going to tell you that little boys don't wear dresses.
Four year old Tink: *crying* I'm not a boy mommy, I'm a girl like Jenny.
My Mom: *screaming* Jenny, come here!
*pulls my shorts and Jenny's down* You see Tink? You have this. This is called a peepee. Boys have peepees. Now, do you see a peepee on Jenny?
Four year old Tink: *crying* no!
My Mom: Jenny is a girl. Girls don't have peepees. You are a boy. Boys do have peepees.
The End
The biggest lie (stereotype) I was ever told. That boys have penises and that girls don't.
tink :icon_chick:
How traumatic Tink! How do they deal with you now (if you don't mind me asking)?
My biggest hate was that I was expected to like Rugby (sport). The only sport I wanted to play was netball, they had those cute pleated skirts. Ended up compromising and playing hocky though without the cute pleated skirt :icon_cry: .
Quote from: Tink on September 24, 2007, 07:35:49 PM
Once upon a time
My Mom: Why are you crying, Tink?
Four year old Tink: Because I want a dress like Jenny's (referring to my cousin)
My Mom: How many times am I going to tell you that little boys don't wear dresses.
Four year old Tink: *crying* I'm not a boy mommy, I'm a girl like Jenny.
My Mom: *screaming* Jenny, come here!
*pulls my shorts and Jenny's down* You see Tink? You have this. This is called a peepee. Boys have peepees. Now, do you see a peepee on Jenny?
Four year old Tink: *crying* no!
My Mom: Jenny is a girl. Girls don't have peepees. You are a boy. Boys do have peepees.
The End
The biggest lie (stereotype) I was ever told. That boys have penises and that girls don't.
tink :icon_chick:
Good grief! :icon_cry: :icon_hug:
Ouch Tink. My mother told me the opposite. You never had one and you didn't have one cut off.
And the stereotype that annoyed me most, and still does, is that women are not as competent as men. Bull.
Dennis
Quote from: NickSister on September 24, 2007, 10:45:17 PM
How traumatic Tink! How do they deal with you now (if you don't mind me asking)?
No, of course I don't mind. Everyone in my family accepts me. It took my mom a while to understand what being transsexual meant. She accompanied me to my gender therapy sessions in several occasions and became very well informed about TS'im. Nowadays, the only times when my mom mentions my past is when she looks at the family albums; otherwise, she just treats me like she treats my other two sisters. :)
tink :icon_chick:
Yikes, Tink.
I recall a year (age-wise) after that mine just told me girls are different. She didn't say how.
Then my father kinda showed me when I was ten that insisting on my girlhood was a very bad situation that required the belt-wielding from hell. Ouch, that one still makes me wince.
Nero, I don't really have just one at all. long hair, agressiveness, sex chat and terminal lust and girl's can't have penises all work for me.
I spoz the boys don't write poetry was just encouragement for me. *smile*
So, if I had to choose one it would be: "Obviously if you think you are a girl/woman, you must be gay." *sigh*
Nichole
Quote from: Nichole W. on September 25, 2007, 07:00:01 PM
I spoz the boys don't write poetry was just encouragement for me. *smile*
Now
that's a new one for me. Of course, if one didn't have any classics in the English class, or didn't pay attention...
Nfr
I'm bothered by ALL stereotypes, be they male or female. If I have to choose one, I don't like that boys/men are considered gay for wanting to wear women's clothes. That caused me some confusion in figuring out who I am. I've rarely met any gay men who desired to wear skirts, and they couldn't figure out why I wanted to ::)
zythyra
My mother told me when I was six that men are beasts who lose control of themselves when they get horny and rape women. She said my father did that to her in a car saying "I'll make up your mind for you" when she did want to have sex with him for the first time. Then he left her and did it to another woman who he then married, leaving my mother pregnant and alone. I really dreaded being a male ever since that day. Before that, I didn't think about being a boy because there were no males around. I basically acted like a girl. I've been battling the idea of men being brutes my whole life.
Boys like sports. Gals like cooking. I like neither.
Speaking of sterotypes, my mom just told me one today! I was just thinking of this when she was telling me it. . . But she was like why don't you get your ears pierced or something express your femininity. I just sort of laughed inside my head when she said it, it isn't one that upsets me, but I just felt like posting it here.
Everything that I wasn't. I was born male. You can take it from there.
I later came to find that many of the things that I prized in my past life would be good in my present life, like integrity, tact, honor, sense of duty; empathy, analysis, caring, feeling, imagination, they serve me well.
Wing Walker