Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: NickSister on October 02, 2007, 06:07:01 PM

Title: Titles
Post by: NickSister on October 02, 2007, 06:07:01 PM
I've recently had a number of battles over titles.

I was getting annoyed with travel requests at work (domestic flights). I keep saying I don't want a title recorded and they keep putting a Mr in front of my name. I recently asked them why they keep doing this and whether they could do Mx instead. I said I found Mr offensive and their continuous insistence of recording me as Mr. I got a pretty rude response. I was notified that the title was a require field in their booking systems and that Mx was not included, which is fair enough but they did not have to be so rude about it. I think from now on to compromise I will ask to be Ms, as my wife is Mrs. I would prefer this to being called Mr. My money is on they still put Mr...

Also at work my gender is recorded as male. Lately this has really annoyed as I know now that I am definitely not male. I asked HR to change it to Androgyne, Mixed or leave it blank because I am transgendered. I actually got a really good, positive, response. They have said they will look into it as they will need to change their computer systems to accommodate this change and they need to investigate the ramifications. I'm looking forward to the day I open up my on-line records and see myself recorded as Androgyne. Hopefully they can manage it.

Any other androgynes have battles with titles or recording gender? I actually prefer to have no title, but if I was to have one I would go for Mx then Ms in that order.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Kaimialana on October 02, 2007, 11:17:31 PM
Its amazing to me that you got such a good response.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: no_id on October 02, 2007, 11:33:28 PM
Don't take this literally...
You have quite a set of balls for going through the lasting gap of title lapse of reason.
... It's meant to be figurative

I am in favour of no titles at all. Or we should all be Doctors.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Seshatneferw on October 03, 2007, 03:54:56 AM
Well, yes, that was one of the nicer side effects of getting a Ph.D.  :)

  Nfr
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Kaimialana on October 03, 2007, 09:38:41 AM
I could go for Dr.  :D
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: NickSister on October 03, 2007, 02:38:57 PM
I quite like Professor...

I've always toyed with the idea of going over the top:

Lord, Mistress Queen of the Sacred Fire, Master and Servant of the Divine Ice, Prince Marshell of the 4th Transgender, Princess of Pleasure, The Mightly and Humble Androgyne NickSister  ;D

...pity they only give you a little space to write in though..   

One day I'll hire someone to announce me as I walk into a room.

Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Alison on October 03, 2007, 05:24:14 PM
Can I be called <b> The </b>

The Alison?

like.... The Donald?

I mean... that just excretes cool...

:icon_cool:
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: no_id on October 03, 2007, 05:26:51 PM
Quote from: NickSister on October 03, 2007, 02:38:57 PM
I quite like Professor...

I've always toyed with the idea of going over the top:

Lord, Mistress Queen of the Sacred Fire, Master and Servant of the Divine Ice, Prince Marshell of the 4th Transgender, Princess of Pleasure, The Mightly and Humble Androgyne NickSister  ;D

...pity they only give you a little space to write in though..   

One day I'll hire someone to announce me as I walk into a room.

One way or the other I always end up with Prince of Sinnocence.. Go figure..  8)
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: RebeccaFog on October 04, 2007, 12:31:43 PM

I thought of using "Mystery".  Then I could be Mys. Rebis, but then I lost interest.

     I like the THE idea.  We don't need a title, but when someone wants to address us with severe respect or to show us that the topic is important, you can't beat THE.



The Rebis
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: NickSister on October 04, 2007, 05:41:32 PM
Just want to add that I actually don't mind being called Mr Nick. Not sure why this is ??? . It does contradict my hate for being refered to as a Mr. Oh well, it's my name and I can wear it like I want too  :icon_anger: :icon_cry:
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: emmi/andy on October 07, 2007, 03:57:40 PM
I've been having the same sort of issue. I want the people at my university to remove the "Ms" from my name, it irritates me so much. I would prefer no title at all, but I don't think they would go for that. I finally got them to remove my middle initial, but the lady gave me trouble, and that wasn't even important.

How do you pronounce "Mx"? I've seen it written but never heard it said.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: NickSister on October 07, 2007, 04:13:09 PM

It is basically short for Mix- as in mixed gender. This is also how it is pronounced.

Title: Re: Titles
Post by: emmi/andy on October 07, 2007, 06:52:33 PM
Thanks. That does make sense.

Hm. I think if I had my way I would be known as Mx Emily Christopher Lastname. Of course I would need a legal name change for that, which is a whole other story. My parents might also be a little miffed, but I think having a feminine first name and a masculine middle name helps show my gender better than an androgynous first name.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: NickSister on October 07, 2007, 07:09:36 PM
Quote from: emmi/andy on October 07, 2007, 06:52:33 PM
Thanks. That does make sense.

Hm. I think if I had my way I would be known as Mx Emily Christopher Lastname. Of course I would need a legal name change for that, which is a whole other story. My parents might also be a little miffed, but I think having a feminine first name and a masculine middle name helps show my gender better than an androgynous first name.

Yeah, I agree. If you just have one androgynous name then people will naturally attribute male or female to you. Having both would stop them in their tracks. You could have a hyphenated first name
- as in Emily-Chris.

I could be The Nicole-Nic, has a nice ring to it.  ;D 

What do you think The Mystery Rebis-Rebis?
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: RebeccaFog on October 07, 2007, 11:22:51 PM
Quote from: NickSister on October 07, 2007, 07:09:36 PM
Quote from: emmi/andy on October 07, 2007, 06:52:33 PM
Thanks. That does make sense.

Hm. I think if I had my way I would be known as Mx Emily Christopher Lastname. Of course I would need a legal name change for that, which is a whole other story. My parents might also be a little miffed, but I think having a feminine first name and a masculine middle name helps show my gender better than an androgynous first name.

Yeah, I agree. If you just have one androgynous name then people will naturally attribute male or female to you. Having both would stop them in their tracks. You could have a hyphenated first name
- as in Emily-Chris.

I could be The Nicole-Nic, has a nice ring to it.  ;D 

What do you think The Mystery Rebis-Rebis?

Sounds sensible.  If I went with female first/male middle then I'd be The Rebecca-Michael (micheal? oh poo, I can't spell my own middle name  ::) )
         If I use Rebis, people will just think of me as male even though it is supposed to be a nongendered name.


The Rebecca-Micheal  &  Mys. Rebis-Rebis  &  Mx. Rebis


P.S.

   Hey Mx Emily Christopher,

      If you don't miff your parents off, then what's the point of being born!  :laugh:
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Alison on October 08, 2007, 12:05:03 AM
I dunno... two first names remind me of things like "Billy Bob"  "Mary Jo" "Bobby Ray" "Bobby Sue" etc...

But thats just me... 

Now names like Blair, Avery, Cameron, Harley, Jaime etc....  I don't automatically associate gender with any of those names...
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Shana A on October 08, 2007, 08:42:29 AM
mx zythyra works OK for me... I could also deal with "The Z", spoken in a Lord Buckley voice as in "The Nazz"  8) 

I absolutely hate being called mr or sir.... these could be done away with permanently in society and I would shed no tears.

Z
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Kaimialana on October 08, 2007, 11:18:42 AM
My name is actually an joining of two Hawaiian names, Kaimi, a traditionally male name which means "seeker", and Alana, a traditionally female name which means "awakening" or "offering". Though they may be used traditionally for kaane and wahine, they don't actually have gender.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Kendall on October 08, 2007, 01:42:47 PM
Just dont call me It, Thing, or Creature.

Like Z I also hate Mr and Sir, but also for me I dont like Mam and Miss.

Titles to me, are gender expressions like appearance, gender roles, symbols, colors, movement, names, and gender roles.

KK
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: NickSister on October 08, 2007, 03:35:13 PM
Quote from: Kaimialana on October 08, 2007, 11:18:42 AM
My name is actually an joining of two Hawaiian names, Kaimi, a traditionally male name which means "seeker", and Alana, a traditionally female name which means "awakening" or "offering". Though they may be used traditionally for kaane and wahine, they don't actually have gender.

I thought it sounded very pacific. In New Zealand Maori Kai means food..
That would make you "food offering".. a tasty treat in anyones books.  ;)

Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Jaimey on October 08, 2007, 04:48:36 PM
This topic is pretty interesting for me because I don't think I've ever associated titles with my gender identity.  It never occurred to me to get irritated about it.  To me Miss or Ma'am just refers to the plumbing because my body is obviously female...it's just plumbing.  Mostly, I just don't care or even notice...this is a whole new perspective for me!  I do think that we could just get rid of titles...who needs them anyway?

Well, I said I don't care, but everytime someone calls me "Ma'am", I get the urge to hit them...I'm not that old!
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: RebeccaFog on November 05, 2007, 10:11:58 AM
   I recently filled out an on-line purchase that demanded a title.  They were at least nice enough to provide a long list of alternatives.

   I went with "Captain".
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Suzy on November 05, 2007, 10:49:27 AM
Quote from: Seshatneferw on October 03, 2007, 03:54:56 AM
Well, yes, that was one of the nicer side effects of getting a Ph.D.  :)

  Nfr


Yes it is.  I always use Dr. when booking a flight.  It's honest and gender neutral.  Unfortunately, I don't know a way around the ID part where you have to match your photo ID to get on the plane.  So I haven't yet been able to fly as Me.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Shana A on November 05, 2007, 11:50:55 AM
Quote from: Kristi on November 05, 2007, 10:49:27 AM
Unfortunately, I don't know a way around the ID part where you have to match your photo ID to get on the plane.  So I haven't yet been able to fly as Me.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)

Perhaps you should just try, you certainly don't look like a terrorist  ;) Do you have a therapist's letter? That could be helpful...

zythyra
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Pica Pica on November 05, 2007, 01:04:47 PM
Quote from: Rebis on November 05, 2007, 10:11:58 AM
   I recently filled out an on-line purchase that demanded a title.  They were at least nice enough to provide a long list of alternatives.

   I went with "Captain".

I was Admiral once on Play.Com - hah trumped you.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: RebeccaFog on November 05, 2007, 03:19:58 PM
Quote from: y2gender on November 05, 2007, 11:50:55 AM
Perhaps you should just try, you certainly don't look like a terrorist  ;) Do you have a therapist's letter? That could be helpful...

zythyra
I swear at first I thought you wrote "Do you have a terrorist's letter?"
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Shana A on November 05, 2007, 09:04:42 PM
Quote from: Rebis on November 05, 2007, 03:19:58 PM
I swear at first I thought you wrote "Do you have a terrorist's letter?"

Oh yes, I have one of those cool letters made from cut up newspapers and magazines... hand over your gender, slowly and no one will be hurt, just bring a suitcase containing a million dollars in small bills...

zythyra
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Suzy on November 05, 2007, 09:07:28 PM
Quote from: y2gender on November 05, 2007, 09:04:42 PM
Quote from: Rebis on November 05, 2007, 03:19:58 PM
I swear at first I thought you wrote "Do you have a terrorist's letter?"

Oh yes, I have one of those cool letters made from cut up newspapers and magazines... hand over your gender, slowly and no one will be hurt, just bring a suitcase containing a million dollars in small bills...

zythyra

That must be who stole mine!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Id Est on November 05, 2007, 09:34:34 PM
Quote from: Jaimey on October 08, 2007, 04:48:36 PM
This topic is pretty interesting for me because I don't think I've ever associated titles with my gender identity.  It never occurred to me to get irritated about it.  To me Miss or Ma'am just refers to the plumbing because my body is obviously female...it's just plumbing.  Mostly, I just don't care or even notice...this is a whole new perspective for me!  I do think that we could just get rid of titles...who needs them anyway?

Well, I said I don't care, but everytime someone calls me "Ma'am", I get the urge to hit them...I'm not that old!
I was barely twelve years old and dressed in sweaty gym clothes the first time someone called me ma'am. Some people huh?


Personally, I feel rather indifferent towards typical male titles. If any had to be used to me I'd prefer them. Female titles piss me off exactly because they are meant to reflect your age and marriage status. So, it's like twice the amount of labeling.
Title: Re: Titles
Post by: Jaimey on November 07, 2007, 06:25:03 PM
Quote from: Id Est on November 05, 2007, 09:34:34 PM
Quote from: Jaimey on October 08, 2007, 04:48:36 PM
This topic is pretty interesting for me because I don't think I've ever associated titles with my gender identity.  It never occurred to me to get irritated about it.  To me Miss or Ma'am just refers to the plumbing because my body is obviously female...it's just plumbing.  Mostly, I just don't care or even notice...this is a whole new perspective for me!  I do think that we could just get rid of titles...who needs them anyway?

Well, I said I don't care, but everytime someone calls me "Ma'am", I get the urge to hit them...I'm not that old!
I was barely twelve years old and dressed in sweaty gym clothes the first time someone called me ma'am. Some people huh?


Personally, I feel rather indifferent towards typical male titles. If any had to be used to me I'd prefer them. Female titles piss me off exactly because they are meant to reflect your age and marriage status. So, it's like twice the amount of labeling.

Very true.  I can deal with Miss, but Ma'am...ugh.