I'm sick and tired of not being able to transition!! I stand to live another day not on hormones but there's nothing I can do about it other breaking down and crying like I'm doing right now. I can't move away from my transphobic parents because I'm too worthless and incompetent to maintain even the most minimum wage job.
Why do I have to be unlucky!? There's sooo many people around my age or younger being able to transition because their parents are supportive but as for me heck no I have to have the ones that think it's freaking wrong and can't do nothing but freaking suffer!!!
Oh and don't even get me started on healthcare it's ****ing unaffordable wow thank you for making things more sufferable for me!!
I'm just out of luck can't get on hormones to save my freaking life might as just end it all since there's no solution that's plausible or affordable.
Emily you are just plain wrong on many counts - certainly harming yourself is the least reasonable thing to do. You say there is no solution and yet there are plenty, you just need to find one that works for you. You say that you are too "worthless and incompetent" to stay in a job - I find that very hard to believe, I believe that's what you think about yourself but I'm certain you can find and keep a job if you put your mind to it. And let's face it, that is ultimately your only solution here - get a job, make money, move away from your folks, start working on your transition. Yes, that may take you many, many months but that's better than it never happening and it's certainly much better than you trying to harm yourself. Yes, some people are lucky. Many are not - and when you don't have any luck then you have to make your own. You clearly don't have a lot of confidence in yourself or your abilities and that needs to change if you are to apply yourself to finding a job and moving on with your life and transition.
Read the post linked in this thread: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,201903.0.html
Quote from: Ms Grace on January 06, 2016, 05:36:02 AM
Emily you are just plain wrong on many counts - certainly harming yourself is the least reasonable thing to do. You say there is no solution and yet there are plenty, you just need to find one that works for you. You say that you are too "worthless and incompetent" to stay in a job - I find that very hard to believe, I believe that's what you think about yourself but I'm certain you can find and keep a job if you put your mind to it. And let's face it, that is ultimately your only solution here - get a job, make money, move away from your folks, start working on your transition. Yes, that may take you many, many months but that's better than it never happening and it's certainly much better than you trying to harm yourself. Yes, some people are lucky. Many are not - and when you don't have any luck then you have to make your own. You clearly don't have a lot of confidence in yourself or your abilities and that needs to change if you are to apply yourself to finding a job and moving on with your life and transition.
Unfortunately my previous employment history says otherwise there's a reason I was let go from the two jobs I've worked despite all efforts to improve and get better at them.
As for solutions to better my situation I search day and night hoping to find something that can help but to no avail and sorry I've never in my life been able to think outside the box in any kind of situation that's probably why there is no hope to make things better.
Is there any other solutions I can turn to?? Please I really need help I'm all out of ideas of what to do :'(
Have you looked into SSD/SSI? If you are truly unable to work, these programs would supply you with an income and qualify you for other programs that would assist with expenses and healthcare costs. You would have to demonstrate that you have a history of functional limitations that makes regular work activity possible.
In Tennessee that's pretty impossible the state has it easily set up to deny stuff like that even with documentation
2 years ago i was coming out of a major depressive episode where I was thinking of suicide. when i began to emerge i was 56, without a job, without any prospects and only skilled at things i didn't want to do anymore and a ton of work to do finally accepting my dawning transgender identity. but i've made over $120,000 since then and now i have multiple sources of income from my fix and flip, ebay store, alley scrapping, and craigslist reselling, i was metal scrapping last year until the market fell out. i've got my fingers in a lot of pies and looking to put my fingers in more pies all the time. but my journey has showed me that what i really want to do is concentrate on my ebay store selling womens clothes. it fits me so good with my transition and my goal of getting into the women's fashion industry someday. it pays the least and yet i enjoy it the most. so i'm paying my dues now, learning labels, what sells, what doesn't, what women are wearing today, etc. just showing up. day to day. life will surprise me if i let it.
http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/disability-resources-tennessee.html
(http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/disability-resources-tennessee.html)
Initially Tennessee is below the national average in terms of approval (24%, 33% after reconsideration), until you get to the appeals phase. Then it rises above the national average to a 63% approval rate. It's a lengthy process, but I would say a 63% approval rate is worth pursuing if you truly have no other options and cannot work.
The best way to get out of dead end situations is to cover as many options as possible. If I were in your shoes, I'd be collecting evidence for SSD, considering enrolling in some kind of educational program, and looking for some kind of work experience paid or unpaid. I'd also be looking into cheap ways and places to move. You've got to work on your outlook too like Ms. Grace said. For any of those options I listed above that I'd be pursuing if I were in a similar situation, having a "can't do" attitude is not going to get you anywhere. I'm sure there is something that you're good at or something that you're passionate about. Why not start pursuing that while you're stuck at home with minimal expenses?
Thank ya for trying to help and giving advice I truly appreciate it.
I'm sorry but I just don't think getting on SSD is gonna work the process itself is way too rigorous for me to handle and on top of that I doubt any of my short comings are grounds for any sort of disability in general I'm just a **** up that can't do anything right I flunked out of a four year college back in 2012 and was too scared to get help and now I tried becoming a teacher thinking you know I do have a broad span of knowledge why not try to teach only to fail both education courses I took during the fall semester. Of course what do I do I sweep it under the rug because my dad does not need to know I failed yet again and the reason I'm going back this semester is because the college is the only refuge I have and I can be around my friends.
With my state of dysphoria I can't wait another year or two I just can't I know it's never too late and patience is virtue in this case It's torture and It's torture when I can't use an excellent insurance policy under my dad's plan (24 years old here and still under his plan) that can more than cover what I need as far as transitioning. I wouldn't be posting these desperate pleas instead of giving words of encouragement and help if my parents would get out of their ignorant world under a rock and support their child that still actually loves them despite the rejection because isn't that what unconditional supposed to be??
But seriously I do appreciate the replies and thank you It helps me to know that there are those who care and once again thank :)
Confidence is what you need to find first. I never had much of it growing up in a strict Christian family-also in TN. I finally found mine in karate school. That helped me to find there were a great many things I could do well and my teachers helped me alot. Disability is gonna be tough at first-they turn everybody down. I have been out of work for a year and a half with arthritis and my savings is all but gone. Things are tight but we make it somehow. I too had thoughts of ending it but that was only my fears, frustrations, and emotions coming out in a negative way. It took a while but I pulled out of the fog. I can't afford meds so I find other things I can do without money like styling my hair, plucking unwanted hair, learn all I possibly can from videos on youtube, look at clothes, voice practice, and on and on.
Yes, there are many here who struggle just to survive another day. I have problems with money but consider myself most fortunate now that I am once again making small steps toward what I need to do. Please don't give up-fight for it. If you have to- Wait for it. There will always be another day to begin again.
IT DOESN"T GET BETTER!!!
There's nothing out there to help
If I can't transition and be myself then I just won't freaking live and I'll make sure my parents are vilified because they can help but they don't wanna support.
Alright forget that last post I posted that was just irrational on my part. Today's gonna be a good day I'm gonna go do a little shopping hopefully get a cute new bra or a pair of leggings. Yeah I'm gonna try and stay positive today :)
I have struggled as you are now more times than I can count. The easiest thing to do is give up. For me time is the biggest factor. When I first began learning who I really am I wanted to know everything, do everything right then not knowing just how much there is to learn-and how that knowledge would effect those around me. And it has to be covered in a rational way or you will get lost in the fog. Try not to be in a hurry but chill and let it happen slowly over time.
I am older now and less inclined to be in a hurry to do anything but over the past few years -while self medicating and detransitioning twice- I look like a woman even when I don't try to, I haven't had meds for a long time now but I still feel my boobs itch occasionally and they will perk up on their own which tells me growth is still happening but slowly.
Other people around you will not understand any of it and will have difficulty accepting anything that challenges their own ideas of sexuality. And some will be explosive in response so handle them carefully and with caution. What we do is not easy but worth the time spent in the process.
If you're an Independent (You file for yourself come Tax season) and are unemployed... you can seek out Medicaid coverage.
I "THINK" the breakdown is something like this (Obamacare Laws)
Granted you file independently
If you make < 15k/ year you can get on Medicaid (Free (yes free!) health insurance, Covers 99% of your meds and doctors pertaining to your transition, I had this for 1 year)
If you make 15k-19k? You can get on Government subsidized Private Insurance (Like Blue Cross. The government pays for part of your coverage)
If you make over 20k? You are on your own.
This above rules are moot if your company provides health insurance. The trick with Medicaid is finding a popular insurance through Medicaid (Kaiser Permanente Etc) and finding Therapists and Doctors that accept Medicaid (they exist :) )
I hope this helps!!
Hi:
One thing that comes to mind: Move to a progressive state (e.g. FL, MA, CA, MI, OR, WA, and many others). There you will find services more readily. You'll have to deal with residency issues for a while and that may require some planning but it's possible.
Rachel
Quote from: Kclaire86 on January 07, 2016, 06:58:48 PM
If you're an Independent (You file for yourself come Tax season) and are unemployed... you can seek out Medicaid coverage.
I "THINK" the breakdown is something like this (Obamacare Laws)
Granted you file independently
If you make < 15k/ year you can get on Medicaid (Free (yes free!) health insurance, Covers 99% of your meds and doctors pertaining to your transition, I had this for 1 year)
If you make 15k-19k? You can get on Government subsidized Private Insurance (Like Blue Cross. The government pays for part of your coverage)
If you make over 20k? You are on your own.
This above rules are moot if your company provides health insurance. The trick with Medicaid is finding a popular insurance through Medicaid (Kaiser Permanente Etc) and finding Therapists and Doctors that accept Medicaid (they exist :) )
I hope this helps!!
That's what I'm plan on working on these coming months hopefully with what resources and support I have it'll all workout. And as for Medicaid in Tennessee I just don't know these qualifications are kinda discouraging: https://www.tn.gov/tenncare/article/tenncare-medicaid, https://www.tn.gov/tenncare/article/tenncare-standard
The clinic I want to go to has a sliding scale and I just hope it's generous otherwise I might end up in Houston where this one clinic charges non-insured just $55 and that includes visits and blood work.
Quote from: Qrachel on January 07, 2016, 08:40:54 PM
Hi:
One thing that comes to mind: Move to a progressive state (e.g. FL, MA, CA, MI, OR, WA, and many others). There you will find services more readily. You'll have to deal with residency issues for a while and that may require some planning but it's possible.
Rachel
I would love to move to more progressive state especially Maryland since they recently became more trans friendly and it's closest to my state in that regard but even with the services it'll be prohibitively expensive for me to live there and that goes to the other trans friendly states unfortunately costs of living just too high.
Ohh and in case any one is curious I did go shopping today and did manage to buy two cute bras and a pair of leggings all at a great price :)
I do have something I would like answered even if it's not a definite one I just like to know something since I'm really having a hard time figuring it out for myself.
What would be an ultimate last resort thing to do if I exhausted all possibilities of achieving financial independence and all of them failed?? Granted I haven't exhausted all possibilities yet I do however like to prepare for a worst case scenario. I mean if it comes to the point that I can never afford to see a doctor and get prescribe hormones to help get out of this daily torture I'm currently stuck in then what can I actually do to make transition possible?? Do then decide that it's time to bite the dust or do I resort to begging for money or do I try to reason with my transphobic parents to actually help??
I'm just wondering what options actually exist in the absolute worst out of luck situation??
OK I will tell you what happened to me.
Very Irish Roman Catholic parents who wanted a son, and got a daughter. Couldn't cope and neither could their daughter.
Their daughter had horrific experiences when she was 15-16 that drove her into total despair. Her parents couldn't cope with that and neither could she.
So she left home at 17 and found her own way. Worked like nuts at anything she could and some things she should never had done, to the damnation of what was left of a soul.
Found help - god knows how. Studied, worked, fed herself, clothed herself. Finally she decided there was no home no family no nothing in the country she was born in.
Got a cheap ticket to Australia, alone and 21 years old, with a pair of jeans and two T-shirts and five LPs. Sold the LPs. Found a job, found a better job, found a better one after that.
Lived.
Transitioned at 58, now an incredibly happy woman who has a lot of milage under the bonnet.
She never gave up, even though sometimes it would have been so damn easy to just sleep the sleep.
What would I do in your situation?
I would do what she did.
I'm glad to see that it worked out for you that's truly remarkable.
Ok I hope you can help me answer this: What kind of job and/or skill can I get/learn for someone that has proven to be unable to work fast paced and in fast paced situations (got let go from two jobs), can't operate a motor vehicle, has tried twice to get a four year degree and failed (though I did get a two year), and is nowhere near mechanically inclined for most trades but is still willing to try just not ones that require anything too complex and nothing that requires the ability to operate a utility vehicle.
Ohh and one more thing there is a program I might try to get in if possible at my college and I'm just curious if anyone could tell me what kind of jobs if any could I get if I were to earn this certification: http://www.columbiastate.edu/docs/default-source/2015-2016-program-fliers/certificates/advanced-integrated-industrial-technology.pdf?sfvrsn=2
I don't think it'll be too hard to get and maybe I can do something what do ya think??
Quote from: EmilyRyan on January 09, 2016, 02:33:18 AM
I'm glad to see that it worked out for you that's truly remarkable.
Ok I hope you can help me answer this: What kind of job and/or skill can I get/learn for someone that has proven to be unable to work fast paced and in fast paced situations (got let go from two jobs), can't operate a motor vehicle, has tried twice to get a four year degree and failed (though I did get a two year), and is nowhere near mechanically inclined for most trades but is still willing to try just not ones that require anything too complex and nothing that requires the ability to operate a utility vehicle.
Firstly I had to get over feeling sorry for myself. That was damn hard.
I then worked in Pubs, day and night pulling drinks. Serving meals, cleaning the toilets. I did everything. I earned enough to keep going.
I worked second jobs in cafes, cleaning houses. I walked dogs. I did anything that paid.
What was important is that I built my confidence, even if I did not know it.
I'm about as mechanically orientated as a Barbie Doll. I'm a lousy driver and I have no idea what a
machine is. I have no idea of carpentry, I couldn't lay a brick.
I could and would work in hospitality, aged care (nursing homes).
I pulled drinks and I have no issues with bathing and looking after those who are incontinent and need help.
I did Charity work. Yes in my real bad days when the Black Dog was screaming at me and I was alone I went and worked on the streets with the Simon Community and peeled filthy rags off men and washed them. Held them.
I felt better. This wasn't Charity this was self help. Although I didn't know it at the time; but I was so lonely that a hug from a street man after washing the crap from his bottom and a swig of his poison was a kiss from a friend.
No one owes you a job. Get over that now.
No one owes you a life. Get over that now.
You have everything going for you. I know you don't realise that. But you do.
You could go to your local bar or burger joint today and say. Hi, I need a job, I'll work for nothing to learn the trade. Will you give me a chance? If they do make yourself invaluable, learn. That is your ticket.
Geez, I have no idea where you are. Does your Mum have an iron?
Go and call the neighbours, I'm out of work, I'll do your ironing for $X.
Oh that's not 'man's' work.
Get over it. I'm not a man, I'm a woman, too hard to say - I'm a human being.
Just answer one question. And answer it to yourself, not to me.
How much do I want this?
Then do it.
Quote from: Cindy on January 09, 2016, 03:07:47 AM
I have no idea where you are.
I live in the U.S. in the state of Tennessee in a rural area about an hour away from Nashville nothing but country side where I live and unfortunately don't get to go to Nashville much maybe once or twice a year :P I just know that Nashville will probably be the place that saves my life since that's where the clinic I want to go is located thankfully.
Get to Nashville. It seems like you're stuck in a rut where you are, and it may take starting over to enable you to really get moving.
Get more details about the clinic and what are the costs you can expect per visit. Find out how often you'd be visiting. Most places want quarterly visits your first year. Does that include prescription costs? Find out.
Look into affordable housing options and check your spending. See what you spend on food. See what you spend on extras (internet, phone bill, etc.).
Figure out what you'd need to make to exist in Nashville. If you can, save twice that and move. Or take a loan and move. It's easier to find a job when you're in a place already, and it's easier to go into something knowing that you have to do it for X hours per week in order to pay your rent.
There are all kinds of jobs that don't require much aside from showing up and doing what someone asks you do it. Bus tables. Work in a kitchen. Pick up trash. Clean toilets. Consider an overnight job in a hotel or as a security guard. Very little contact with the public, no experience needed in most cases, very low stress.
Hey there!
This might be a little random, but I hope it possibly helps. I know what it feels like to feel like things will never get better, that you're permanently stuck, and that things just need to end. Ignore these thoughts. It's easier said than done, but it still helps me. I replace the negative with positive, even though it takes a lot of reinforcing.
Have you found a clinic that could help, one where you might not have to pay anything for the appointment? You can actually find most of the medications fairly cheap. But, since it sounds like that's also not an option, you can try the Pharmaceutical Companies differing Patient Assistance Programs (If approved/eligible, they would send you the medicine for free, and you'll need to reapply at set dates to make sure you're still eligible), once you get to the point of being prescribed HRT. A lot of people don't know these programs exist, I use a few different ones myself, due to my current situation.
Anyways, hugs. Try to keep a smile on that face.
-Kara
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I can't recall if you said you have a therapist already or no. Mine was a very sweet girl and knew how to get me headed in the right direction in regards to what step I AM on and which one is next -then where to make it. After I got that day behind me I have been fine no matter what because I know who I am and I love my life even though transition isn't finished yet. After I can restore some kind of cash flow I will see my therapist again and see further progress then.
Quote from: FTMax on January 09, 2016, 09:10:23 AM
Get to Nashville. It seems like you're stuck in a rut where you are, and it may take starting over to enable you to really get moving.
Get more details about the clinic and what are the costs you can expect per visit. Find out how often you'd be visiting. Most places want quarterly visits your first year. Does that include prescription costs? Find out.
Look into affordable housing options and check your spending. See what you spend on food. See what you spend on extras (internet, phone bill, etc.).
Figure out what you'd need to make to exist in Nashville. If you can, save twice that and move. Or take a loan and move. It's easier to find a job when you're in a place already, and it's easier to go into something knowing that you have to do it for X hours per week in order to pay your rent.
There are all kinds of jobs that don't require much aside from showing up and doing what someone asks you do it. Bus tables. Work in a kitchen. Pick up trash. Clean toilets. Consider an overnight job in a hotel or as a security guard. Very little contact with the public, no experience needed in most cases, very low stress.
From what I do know if I can at least make 40k a year I can live almost problem free in Nashville but what job that requires no skills, experience, or even a four year degree gonna pay that much?? I can only hope the new mayor makes due on her promise to make the city more affordable.
Quote from: Kara.A.I on January 09, 2016, 11:48:52 AM
Hey there!
This might be a little random, but I hope it possibly helps. I know what it feels like to feel like things will never get better, that you're permanently stuck, and that things just need to end. Ignore these thoughts. It's easier said than done, but it still helps me. I replace the negative with positive, even though it takes a lot of reinforcing.
Have you found a clinic that could help, one where you might not have to pay anything for the appointment? You can actually find most of the medications fairly cheap. But, since it sounds like that's also not an option, you can try the Pharmaceutical Companies differing Patient Assistance Programs (If approved/eligible, they would send you the medicine for free, and you'll need to reapply at set dates to make sure you're still eligible), once you get to the point of being prescribed HRT. A lot of people don't know these programs exist, I use a few different ones myself, due to my current situation.
Anyways, hugs. Try to keep a smile on that face.
-Kara
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you for the advice the clinic I want to go to has a sliding scale and I'm hoping that I'm lucky enough to pay at least as little as maybe $50 for doctor visit and bloodwork but if not there's a place in Houston that'll do it for $55 but getting there that's another story :P
Quote from: Brandii on January 09, 2016, 05:12:55 PM
I can't recall if you said you have a therapist already or no. Mine was a very sweet girl and knew how to get me headed in the right direction in regards to what step I AM on and which one is next -then where to make it. After I got that day behind me I have been fine no matter what because I know who I am and I love my life even though transition isn't finished yet. After I can restore some kind of cash flow I will see my therapist again and see further progress then.
I currently don't have a therapist but I have talked to the college counselor about my issues with wanting to transition, what to do about supporting myself, and the same issue about feeling worthless that I mentioned here on this site. He's been pretty helpful but unfortunately the college prevents him from being a long term counselor but luckily I can still talk to him if needed. Another helpful person has been my former psychology instructor she's very pro LGBT and was the first of faculty I came out to.
As soon as the semesters starts up I'm gonna use that entire time to evaluate all possibilities and see what I can actually do.
You know I'm listening to you and all I hear is you can't do anything . I spent my entire life in meaningless jobs just to survive. I've made it this far by keep on moving. I have absolutely nothing except a good education. I'm on disability right now and living right on the edge of poverty , but I cope and really can't complain because I can eat and I have a roof over my head. Life is doable . For some of us it's hard , but it's doable. The absolute most important thing for you if you are physically capable is to get any kind of job and move forward. Once you get a job your on your way.
Quote from: stephaniec on January 10, 2016, 12:30:28 AM
You know I'm listening to you and all I hear is you can't do anything . I spent my entire life in meaningless jobs just to survive. I've made it this far by keep on moving. I have absolutely nothing except a good education. I'm on disability right now and living right on the edge of poverty , but I cope and really can't complain because I can eat and I have a roof over my head. Life is doable . For some of us it's hard , but it's doable. The absolute most important thing for you if you are physically capable is to get any kind of job and move forward. Once you get a job your on your way.
I get what you're saying yes I do need to move forward and yes every day and night I'm searching for jobs and even filling out applications to ones that I feel I can do without screwing up. I wish the skills needed for today's job market came easy to me but they don't and I've researched day and night what I can do to overcome and even talked to a few people at my college including the career counselor and to be honest despite getting some helpful advice after I try their advice for myself I suddenly come up empty and back to square one.
Don't get me wrong yes I have been venting and self loathing for quite awhile now but on the bottom line I'm trying to do the right thing I'm trying to get out of my situation. Overall I gotta think positive and figure out what I can actually do with a two year degree.
I've gotta agree with Stephanie. Go back and look through everything you've written and replace "can't" with "will". That's the kind of outlook you need to develop to get out of this rut you're in.
And in response to what you'd need to make - I made under $30k out of college and managed to live in Washington DC, which has an excessively high cost of living. I made so little that when the government came asking for student loan payments and looked at how much I made, they made my payments $0 for a year and offered me government assistance. It's not about the circumstances, it's about how much you want to make it happen. You can downsize your lifestyle, make less money, and still live comfortably.
When was the last time you tried to work? It's a bad season to look for it right now for retail jobs, but food service is pretty much always hiring. Go and try. Don't focus on what your degree will allow you to do. A bachelor's today is a high school diploma of the 90s/early 2000s. Even that won't save you from retail/food service/grunt work.
Quote from: FTMax on January 10, 2016, 10:14:41 AM
And in response to what you'd need to make - I made under $30k out of college and managed to live in Washington DC, which has an excessively high cost of living. I made so little that when the government came asking for student loan payments and looked at how much I made, they made my payments $0 for a year and offered me government assistance. It's not about the circumstances, it's about how much you want to make it happen. You can downsize your lifestyle, make less money, and still live comfortably.
When was the last time you tried to work? It's a bad season to look for it right now for retail jobs, but food service is pretty much always hiring. Go and try. Don't focus on what your degree will allow you to do. A bachelor's today is a high school diploma of the 90s/early 2000s. Even that won't save you from retail/food service/grunt work.
Well in that case I guess Nashville wouldn't be too bad and being as progressive as it is I might get better assistance there than where I'm currently at.
And the the last time I had a job was summer of 2015 at a Wal-Mart where I worked in the back helping unload the trucks where unfortunately I was declared "too slow" and was blamed often for the unloading taking too long. Within two months I was let go but fortunately the general manager felt sorry enough to make it like I quit voluntarily and with the fall semester that was coming up worked out good. Despite my short comings and my failed efforts to improve I did thankfully proved I had a good work ethic.
Quote from: EmilyRyan on January 09, 2016, 11:08:00 PM
From what I do know if I can at least make 40k a year I can live almost problem free in Nashville but what job that requires no skills, experience, or even a four year degree gonna pay that much?? I can only hope the new mayor makes due on her promise to make the city more affordable.
The truth is that without skills or experience you will never make that money. So the answer is to get the skills and experience.
This may be harsh but in reading all your posts I believe that for some reason you have convinced yourself that you are useless and worthless. That is not true at all but as long as you keep believing it failure will be self fulfilling.
You have to start believing in yourself and then things will improve. I know that's easier said than done but once you do start believing in yourself things will get better. Refuse to accept failure. If you have to try again or try harder then do that. But if you don't start with seeing yourself as valuable and useful and worth something then nobody else will see it either.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Alrighty I got a dumb question how does someone that has failed as many times as I have get the skills and experience?? Apparently I'm going about it the wrong way or I'm just that clueless.
If you're still in school then finish that. If not then that's ok. Find a job, any job will do to start with. Keep trying until you get one and in the interviews project a positive and self confident image. It doesn't matter if you are feeling that. You just have to make them think you are. When you get the job make sure you understand what's expected and then bust your butt to do that. Start with what you can get and then with that on your resume look for something better.
Here's the secret. As you start to succeed your self confidence will return. You will find out that you have the power over your own destiny. Take that control now and start running.
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I also wanted to post this link for you to look at:
www.udemy.com (http://www.udemy.com)
It's a great website with a lot of free, do-at-your-own-pace courses in just about everything you can imagine. There are also courses that you pay for, which I'd only recommend if you find something that you enjoy. There are lots of sites like this. If you Google "MOOC", you'll find plenty. It stands for "Massive Open Online Course".
You won't get certifications or degrees or anything like that, but you could gain knowledge and skills outside of a traditional learning or work environment. I'm doing one right now that's helping me build a portfolio of work that I can take to future employers to demonstrate my skills.
It may be something for you to look into and consider while you're job hunting. The IRL job hunt should take precedence, but as someone who needs a way out, you should always be looking to improve and gain new skills. The more things you can do/have knowledge of, the more options you'll have.
How to succeed is pretty simple.
1. No task is beneath you.
2. You are not there to talk, drink coffee or rest as long as there is work to do.
3. If you don't have anything to do, and you boss is around, ask for more work.
4. If your boss isn't around, look for something to do even if it's sweeping the floor.
5. If you don't understand, ask. It's far better to ask than do it wrong.
6. Remember or take notes of everything you have done so you don't have to be told twice.
After the first week or two you should require little or no instruction from your boss unless there is a special project.
Quote from: FTMax on January 10, 2016, 06:40:23 PM
I also wanted to post this link for you to look at:
www.udemy.com (http://www.udemy.com)
It's a great website with a lot of free, do-at-your-own-pace courses in just about everything you can imagine. There are also courses that you pay for, which I'd only recommend if you find something that you enjoy. There are lots of sites like this. If you Google "MOOC", you'll find plenty. It stands for "Massive Open Online Course".
You won't get certifications or degrees or anything like that, but you could gain knowledge and skills outside of a traditional learning or work environment. I'm doing one right now that's helping me build a portfolio of work that I can take to future employers to demonstrate my skills.
It may be something for you to look into and consider while you're job hunting. The IRL job hunt should take precedence, but as someone who needs a way out, you should always be looking to improve and gain new skills. The more things you can do/have knowledge of, the more options you'll have.
I had no clue anything like that existed thank you
ditto what Dena said
I have another question: What if after all the effort I put in I'm unable to find/get a job what would be my options then?? I'm not trying to be negative it's that I just like to know what can be done if it did come down to truly being doomed to staying jobless and can't afford to do anything about it. I just like to be prepared for worst case scenarios.
my first job was in a hot dog stand, then the next one was a cashier in a liquor store, then a gas attendant at a truck stop, then a adobe brick maker, then working on a road crew for the city of Santa Fe NM, then a dish washer, then I worked at a race track as a bus boy.
Quote from: Dena on January 10, 2016, 06:41:07 PM
How to succeed is pretty simple.
1. No task is beneath you.
2. You are not there to talk, drink coffee or rest as long as there is work to do.
3. If you don't have anything to do, and you boss is around, ask for more work.
4. If your boss isn't around, look for something to do even if it's sweeping the floor.
5. If you don't understand, ask. It's far better to ask than do it wrong.
6. Remember or take notes of everything you have done so you don't have to be told twice.
After the first week or two you should require little or no instruction from your boss unless there is a special project.
Also, be sure to purge yourself of the last remnants or your male ego and leave them at the door.
So many times women make better employees and are preferred by many employers because they can use their "feminine" qualities to their advantage. i.e. hard worker, cooperating with other people, being able to say "i'm sorry" to a customer easily and not let your former male ego get in the way. or empathizing with what the customer must be feeling while you are interacting with them. just to name a few. there are many more. since you are transitioning, maybe not medically yet, but you feel you are becoming more woman all the time. right? then lean on your feminine confidence and outlook.
Quote from: Jane Emily on January 10, 2016, 11:23:01 PM
Also, be sure to purge yourself of the last remnants or your male ego and leave them at the door.
So many times women make better employees and are preferred by many employers because they can use their "feminine" qualities to their advantage. i.e. hard worker, cooperating with other people, being able to say "i'm sorry" to a customer easily and not let your former male ego get in the way. or empathizing with what the customer must be feeling while you are interacting with them. just to name a few. there are many more. since you are transitioning, maybe not medically yet, but you feel you are becoming more woman all the time. right? then lean on your feminine confidence and outlook.
It's a good thing I did away with my so-called "male ego" as a matter of fact I never felt so much better about myself when I do and yes I'm possibly being more womanly with each passing day. Accepting myself as a trans woman I will say was one the best things I could've done for myself. Seriously thanks for that reply it's made me feel a bit more confident and I want to once again thank everyone for the advice so far.
I think I found the right job for me: A bank teller. I do know how to count and handle money well and I despite being an introvert for the most part I do find myself able to deal with customers in the most polite way possible (even been told I'm perhaps too polite). The best part is I researched the banks that are currently hiring and fortunately they're good about helping and training so if I find myself questioning my skills it seems they'll help me be able to do my job :)
Also banks tellers make around $11 an hour where I live *shocker*
Though as much as I want to apply right now I first gotta get out of my current living situation which I plan to hopefully within the next four to five months by moving in with a great friend of mine who is generous enough to let me live rent free (all he asks is that I help pay for basic utilities). Then hopefully I can get on hrt.
Until then I'll continue being the girl that I truly am thankfully I got this cute black dress that a friend of mine got me for Christmas :)