Susan's Place Transgender Resources

When you wake up next day, would you like to wake up as cisgender and be cis rest of your life?
If you could be cisgender when you wake up next day, all the papers, ID and passport match your gender and your family suddenly only remember you as the gender you always have been, would you like it? When you suddenly become cisgender, your body anatomy would suddenly match your gender identity. That would say a trans man becomes a cis-man and a trans woman become a cis-woman.

I have no idea. On the one hand it would obviously make my life a lot easier on the other I would like to someday help the trans community; and believe I could do that more effectively if I was also trans like the people I'd be helping. I'm also quite feminine and queer; so even if I was cis I'd still be considered an outsider. Which would you choose?

I´m not happy about NOT being cisgender, but I wouldn´t want to wake up and suddenly be CIS, either.
My life has been an incredible rollercoaster of experiences, and if I were to suddenly wake up and be CIS, for me that would mean that the entire history I had up until that point would sort of not count anymore (since CIS would be born in a different body...)

As much as I hate the difference between my body and my mind, I can´t just throw away all the lessons that I´ve learned, and all the lessons I´ll continue to learn.

At this point I'd like to, because it would  mean the 10 years I put into the relationship with my other half wouldn't be a complete waste. We might even live happy ever after.

But since that's not going to happen... I'll say no.

If it came with a uterus and ovaries you bet I would.

As with iKate, I would be up for it to have had a quote normal cisfemale unquote life, uterus and ovaries included as so I can live a so to speak life that I would love to have.
Though if it means my memory of what I am going through as of current, of not having knowing what I went through to get there. Then no.
If the reality of me waking up as cisfemale, and i have just memories of what it would be growing up as such, I would still go through my own hardships, and the reality of me being me for my family and everything would be nice. But I don't want to forget the current, it may be hard, but this is who I am.

Kate <3

I am thrilled with being the trans tomboy I am. I would never change or take back a millisecond of my 37 plus years. I'm looking forward to whatever life I have left to go and I would only ever want to live it as I stand right now.

In a heartbeat.
A lot of the negativity in my life, and body issues and social issues were because I spent over 20 years not knowing I was trans. To wake up and be a cis male, with proper working genitals would be a dream come reality.

I like being trans , but it sure would of saved  me a whole lot of grief. plus I'd probably have a husband and kids which would be nice.

I like being trans, even if no one outside my circle knows. I have a very unique perspective on life. I wouldn't take any of it back. Now, ask me if I wake up tomorrow and I will have accepting parents, then YES PLEASE & THANK YOU. lol

Just imagining how much I might save on medical costs alone makes me say yes. Imagining being able to live my life as the person I was meant to be makes me say definitely.


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Ah, yes, one of the perennial topics at Susans.org

Being trans is only one of the ways I'm not normal, so you'd have to ask if I'd like to be "normal" as well.

If I were cis -- cis male or cis female, doesn't matter -- I would be a completely different person.  Would you be willing to be transformed into someone else, especially if that someone else were, say, a famous bigot?  And, of course, since you would be that bigot, you wouldn't want to do anything about your bigotry.

People have been harrassing me and bullying me and ostracizing me since I was old enough to talk because I wasn't "normal" enough, so I've got a bit of a chip on my shoulder about becoming "normal."  At this point, the "normals" can either accept me as I am or just go <anatomically improbable and physically impossible activity deleted.>

tl;dr:  heck, no!!!

I'm blessed with the journey I have taken both as a male and today as a full trans woman. We are special to have the chance to live and experience the wonders of two lives. How we live those lives is what defines who we are and I, for one would not wish it any other way.

In this morning, no questions yes. To ease my dysphoria right now, I started writing a story yesterday based on this very premise.  The thought are a release from the pressures and strains of everyday life.  In all actuality? I feel it would give me the validation and to permission to act as my true self, even though I know my life would not be perfect.  My male persona exists in an acting realm, and I don't feel that would be the case being female.

If I could continue the life without starting the whole thing at new and still have some of the older memories, why not becoming cis tomorrow? If that was possible, I would off course say yes to become a cis guy. It would be cool if the body, passport, names, my relative/family/friends memories change etc. would happening over the night. Then I could live a cis-life and my family think I am what I am supposed to be. In my passport and all the other papers it's correct gender mark and name. I don't get it why many people says no to become cisgender. I would say yes if all this were possible.

When you wake up next day, would you like to wake up as cisgender...

Never! I go to bed Irish. I expect, and want, to wake up Irish. It's the same with being transgender.

Hugs, Devlyn

If I could wake up tommorow morning as a biological woman it would fulfill an early childhood dream. And noone could callenge my of identity. But, I am honestly glad that I wasn't born biologically female. I had a really harsh childhood and I would have been an even bigger target for dirty men while I was walking extreme distances alone at night.

I would. I didn't vote on the poll though, I felt it was too restrictive.

Although I've learned a lot from my experiences, no doubt would I want to wake up cis. I used to pray as a little kid to wake up as a "real" boy. Then I could father my own children and wouldnt have to worry about surgeries and all that..

Absolutely,

I'd love to sit down and have a long conversation with someone who is glad they have a trans identity. I'm honestly curious about their perspective because it is so different than mine.

My life would have been significantly different if I was born a boy. So much of my childhood was difficult because of the way that I fought the feminine role I was being forced into.

To wake up cis would definitely be a dream come true because I've been wishing for this for most of my life. Being cis would've saved a LOT of heartache and confusion.

Can I turn the question around just a little?

Given a choice, I'd rather have lived my entire life as cisgendered, not just from tomorrow morning. Otherwise, I'm pretty satisfied with my life as a retired post-op lesbian.

If I could make a change it would be to suddenly find myself where it's sunny, 75º F, and I'm walking up to the first tee, rather than 19º and snow on the ground.

Quote from: green27 on January 21, 2016, 02:02:27 AM
Absolutely,

I'd love to sit down and have a long conversation with someone who is glad they have a trans identity. I'm honestly curious about their perspective because it is so different than mine.

My life would have been significantly different if I was born a boy. So much of my childhood was difficult because of the way that I fought the feminine role I was being forced into.

Sounds like a good idea for a topic! I'm thrilled to be transgender and would answer any questions you have. I don't want to derail this topic, though.

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on January 21, 2016, 09:36:08 AM

Quote from: green27 on January 21, 2016, 02:02:27 AM
I'd love to sit down and have a long conversation with someone who is glad they have a trans identity. I'm honestly curious about their perspective because it is so different than mine.

Sounds like a good idea for a topic! I'm thrilled to be transgender and would answer any questions you have. I don't want to derail this topic, though.

Hugs, Devlyn

Same here!

The short answer: I suspect my life would have been harder if I had been cis all my life.

Quote from: Asche on January 21, 2016, 12:49:09 PM
The short answer: I suspect my life would have been harder if I had been cis all my life.

I don't understand what you mean. Can you please explain me how being cis in your whole life would maybe be much harder for you? I thought cis was the normal privilege, but being trans, you faced more problem in many cases. I want to learn more about the difference in our community.
I wish I could be cis. Gender dysphoria, discrimination and all these things are a real pain in the ass... a Hell for me.

For me it could have been harder because my grandparents from both sides would have imposed super girly stuff on me. I sincerely believe I would have been a tomboy trans or cis. So I would have had roles forced on me either way. Also, yes I wish my hips and chest were a bit bigger but they would have been huge if I had been cis. Also I would not have been provided the decades of deep soul searching. I would have had an entirely different life. Because I was seen as a big scary man I was able to do so many badass things that would be so much harder if I were a cis girl.

I have such a great sense of myself as I am. I learned so much in the closet that now that I'm out, I can apply to my new confidence. I am the independent woman I always wanted to be. I never wanted to be prom queen. I wanted to be an adult tomboy who lived alone and did everything for herself. Living as a man made it easier for me to gain the manual labor skills I need to live my life. The future opens up to me because I am a non binary trans woman.

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on January 21, 2016, 02:21:30 PM
I don't understand what you mean. Can you please explain me how being cis in your whole life would maybe be much harder for you? I thought cis was the normal privilege, but being trans, you faced more problem in many cases. I want to learn more about the difference in our community.
I wish I could be cis. Gender dysphoria, discrimination and all these things are a real pain in the ass... a Hell for me.

I would like to answer this too. My life would have been much worse. My big sister told me about how the biomother would stand idley by and allow many men to abuse my sister. I have every reason to believe that biomother would have done the same to me. As for the whole gender dysphoria and all that, I can manage it through transitioning and I am very good at standing up for myself.

Psh... I dunno. Probably? Like, I wouldn't have to shave tomorrow morning and that would be cool. I wouldn't have to spend a lot of time and money transitioning, and I could do all the cool genetic girl stuff I'll never get to do, like have children. My odds of being murdered or discriminated against in housing and employment would go down, not to cis-guy levels, but down from where they are. That would all be nice, and desirable.

On the other hand, I like being trans. Discovering who I am, looking into queer politics and history, has created an empowering sense of awe and respect for what that means. Yes, as a cis woman I could be an advocate for trans people, but I wouldn't be trans anymore. I couldn't speak with the authority of that status, couldn't stand in complete solidarity with people who were like me before this magical change. I would feel like I selfishly abandoned this community.

Now, if the tide rose all boats... If this magical transformation hit everyone forever and for always, that might be better. Still, I'm not sure if it's ideal. Being trans offers a unique perspective, and it's an important component in the fight against institutionalized societal oppression. It challenges the gender binary in an important way, and could be a key element in realizing a new societal outlook on gender, sexuality, and non-conformity. If our part of the movement against these toxic norms was removed or lessened, how would it weaken the fight? How many would suffer if trans wasn't there as an alternative to the standard narrative? I dunno, I just don't. It doesn't seem right to have a magical escape hatch to privilege for one, or some. It seems better to tear down the privilege altogether.

If faced with the choice, I think my selfish desires would win out against my politics in the end, but part of me hopes not...

But then again, I'm probably WAY overthinking a fun hypothetical... sorry 'bout that  ;D

If there were surgeries for trans masc people that made it so that you would have pretty much the same body as a cis man to the point where there would be nothing about your body that would be a giveaway as trans, then no, I'd stay trans. I like being trans, I like the community and I like the sense of finding yourself that it brings. I however, cannot stand the dysphoria that comes with it for me.

I will never have genitalia just like a cis man's and I'll never be able to have sex without having to have an awkward conversation explaining my status as trans beforehand and I'll never be able to honestly, truly feel at home in my body. And that fact is absolutely suffocating. At best I can get a phallo or a meta but those are a poor substitute for a full sized and fully-functional penis. And top surgery scars; I really don't want them. So, as much as I love being trans, I can't stand the dysphoria and I'd give it up in a second if I could have the body I want. 

Uhm... let's see. Give me a moment.

Are you kidding? My answer is an unqualified YES!

This thing at the very least has placed a hardship on me that is at best overwhelming for most of my life. And it doesn't end. It never ends. I can tell you that I think of being CIS at least once a day. I'm not obsessed with it but every time I run into something like a financial statement or log on to this site, I am reminded that I am considered less by our society for who I am. Everyone here, of course is wonderful and supportive. That doesn't mean that I am not reminded.

Cindi

I voted 'I don't know' because there are days when I wake up and I feel it would just be easier, easier for me to have been born AMAB because I would never have to put my family through all the bull I will eventually put them through, easier because simple things like using the restroom would be less complicated, etc.

However at the same time I appreciate the view of the world the being AFAB has given me. I doubt I would ever have been able to truly understand them on the level I do, I doubt I would care as much about all the inequalities, I doubt I would be able to relate to the simple fears, etc.
So it's really a toss up.

Absolutely. Sure would make my life less complicated. There are other things I could spend several thousand, potentially upwards of $100,000 on. All the lessons learned stay learned. But, I'd do it even if that weren't the case.

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on January 17, 2016, 01:00:07 PM
When you wake up next day, would you like to wake up as cisgender and be cis rest of your life?
If you could be cisgender when you wake up next day, all the papers, ID and passport match your gender and your family suddenly only remember you as the gender you always have been, would you like it? When you suddenly become cisgender, your body anatomy would suddenly match your gender identity. That would say a trans man becomes a cis-man and a trans woman become a cis-woman.

As a male-leaning genderqueer person (or demi-guy, if you prefer), I would certainly prefer the status quo over either being a (full) cis-man or a cis-woman. However, I would probably prefer be(com)ing a trans-woman to the status quo. Seriously--after all, I certainly cross-dream a lot about me being a trans-woman.

Quote from: blink on January 28, 2016, 09:00:14 AM
Absolutely. Sure would make my life less complicated. There are other things I could spend several thousand, potentially upwards of $100,000 on. All the lessons learned stay learned. But, I'd do it even if that weren't the case.

Frankly, if it makes you feel better, I wish that you could have my own testicles. After all, I myself certainly don't want them! :(

This sounds like what I used to prey for to happen when I was younger.

I don't care what my gender is as long as it gets rid of the dysphoria. I'd rather be a cis-woman or a cis-man than be transsexual.

Quote from: Endless Rain on February 03, 2016, 01:23:09 AM
I don't care what my gender is as long as it gets rid of the dysphoria. I'd rather be a cis-woman or a cis-man than be transsexual.

Out of curiosity--do you identify as male, female, or something else?

Quote from: Futurist on February 03, 2016, 04:35:48 PM
Out of curiosity--do you identify as male, female, or something else?

This is kind of complicated and I don't care enough to figure it out. I seem to lack a gender identity completely. I didn't care about anything gender related until I started getting body dysphoria after I started growing facial hair. I didn't even realize gender meant anything other than physical characteristics, like I did for eye color or skin color. I've had people consider me an agender transsexual before, but I just find all of this gender identity stuff confusing. All I care about is making the dysphoria go away.

I hate being transgender I absolutely hate it. I wish I could just wake up from this relentless nightmare in the cisgender female body I was meant to have.

If magic were real & I could go to sleep and week up in a cis girl body, I would absolutely do it. I think part of the reason why is that when you are 100% female from the start, there is no transition period, & thus people really don't have much choice than to recognize you as female from the get go.

Part of whats so frightening to me about transition isn't the outcome, but instead the process of getting there. It's a long arduous journey that takes tons of money, patience, & unfortunately sorrow.

Becoming female on day 1 would take much of that away.

I see this question a lot and to my surprise most people answer no. I'm not going to lie, I would. I would do anything to wake up cisgender. Even if I lose a part of me, even if it changes who I am and even if I don't experience some things that I would have while trans, what about all the experiences that I would have while cis? How about not worrying about surgery, hormones and discrimination? Not worrying that you won't get a relationship because who would want to  be with a transguy when they can just go out with a cisguy. Not worrying about awkward sex or not being able to have your own child. Awkwardly coming across people who knew you before your transition, taking forever to get your sex changed legally, coming out, the depression that comes with those teenage years and puberty. Maybe I only think this way because I haven't started my transition yet, I don't know. I know that some cisgender people go through stuff like this, but not quite in the way we do.

Sure, I'm sure being transgender has made me a much smarter, stronger and independent individual, but I don't think anything can trade for my want to be cisgender. I don't like being trans one bit.

For me, definitely.
Other than the dysphoria, considering the medical costs, the travel costs, the stress it puts on my parents - I'd definitely go for it.
Though I do think it'd be really weird to remember yourself/your body one way but everyone else have no clue what you're talking about. I'd probably just prefer it if I woke up that day like that and everyone still remembered me as I once was/currently am but was just kinda like "whoa, that's crazy, it's a miracle" and then just kind of go on with our lives after that.

It is fine to be born cis-gender, but would we appreciate it as much if we had not have the trans experience?  I see a lot of frustrations out there among people who are very cis but are not happy with the hand life has dealt them.  We are aware that we had a choice, and we made the right one.  And knowing that, I believe, gives the potential to be much happier in our now genders roles than any cis.

Very interesting replies. I didn't expect so many people not wanting to wake up as cis. :)

It would lessen so much complication if that happened yeah.

It would be awesome to just...suddenly magically wake up cisgender. Especially back when I lived with my parents. Like, imagine that, I cant control being transgender, and I have to accept some things about myself (I can be a male, but I cant truly change my past experiences living female, or my chromosome, or my genitals realistically), so if I suddenly woke up a boy and it was not in my control, THEY would have to accept it instead. It would be a shock, though. I'd have to deal with the shock or drama of those around me needed to come to terms with the idea that I'll be stuck that way forever.

Edit: I had not realized the question was saying if everything else would be transformed as if I was male too, including people around me feeling as if I always was and all my identification being that way. Even better, yes all the way!

It strange to me that so many wouldnt change immediately. I mean...I love all the experiences that make me who I am that I wouldnt have otherwise, but I am a man, not a transman. Its strange to me that people would choose not to live that way.
Honestly I only tie with the trans comunity
because they have the same issue I do, not because I have some pride in being the way I am.

Now had the question been changed, what if I was born male and raised that way all my life, well...it would be nice but at the same time Im not sure how it would be. Its an entirely new experience and Id be a new person. And Im confident in the one I am.


Noooow as for if I was a cis female. Its even harder to imagine this, I could only ever imagine wanting this as a way to keep the peace. I would only wish I didnt have these awful dreadful feelings of changing my gender because its wrong and bad and frowned upon. I didnt ask for these feelings, it would not be me to be female, but it would be "correct", and I would never have to worry about social ostracization

Quote from: Sebby Michelango on February 18, 2016, 05:54:36 AM
Very interesting replies. I didn't expect so many people not wanting to wake up as cis. :)

Probably because one's experiences and memories are more of what makes up a person than just what they look like. You'd be wiping out who you are in your head to wake up with no memory of what life has been like for you. That's hard to imagine. Like imagining being a completely different person. I might as well imagine death. I don't know at all what it is like to be dead, or to be someone else.

Technically I am cisgender since I haven't transitioned yet. Lol.

Would I want to wake up female? Absolutely. That's the whole point in transitioning, right? It would save my lots of time and money.

I don't think any of us want to be trans, we want to be the sex we feel we should have been born.


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Quote from: RavenMoon on February 27, 2016, 05:12:06 PM
Technically I am cisgender since I haven't transitioned yet. Lol.

Would I want to wake up female? Absolutely. That's the whole point in transitioning, right? It would save my lots of time and money.

I don't think any of us want to be trans, we want to be the sex we feel we should have been born.


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If you're assigned male at birth and identify yourself as a woman, you're not cisgender. Then you're a trans woman. But if you're assigned male at birth and identify yourself as a man, you're cisgender. Cis means your gender identity and sex is matching. If they don't match, you're trans or non-binary. You can still be trans before transistion, as long your gender identity don't match your sex. So in the original definition you're not cis.

No!

I am what I am.

I do not need brainwashing. :)

Aly

Yes, as long as I don't wake up as a cisgender male.

I don't know on one hand waking up as a woman would be so awesome . i would mean the years i wasted hiding never happened.
But on the other hand I'd lose my kids and thought rips my heart out.
So I guess I'll stay on the journey .but nice thought.

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