Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.
I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.
I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.
:'( >:D
Alice
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion.
Because you are the only one who can make such an important decision. None of us is in the position to make it for you. :)
:icon_hug:
tink :icon_chick:
I would of love to of found a way to be a happy male. Why was that never an options? Why can I not find a way to be a happy cross dresser? Why is this happening to me?
Alice
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 10:02:12 PM
Why can I not find a way to be a happy cross dresser?
Alice
Perhaps (note that I said "perhaps") because you are NOT a cross-dresser. When are you going to see this Sydney therapist again, Alice? I had the impression that you had enjoyed your session with this person. Give it a few more sessions, allow him to help you discover yourself a bit further.
tink :icon_chick:
I have not set up a time for the next appointment - I am working through his recomendations and it seams to be transistion for me will start next year. I am just trying to get my head arround the enormity of it all.
Yes he was very good. My doctor will hopguly talk to him soon about why he recomended HRT so soon. I guess I am prepare for transistion next year.
Alice
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion.
Hehe, because no one will give you such big advice and tell you what to do. Ultimately, this is the life your persuing, or not, and your going to have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. I guess therapy only helps you become more aware and help you sort out all the other problems, but no therapist would ever tell a patient what to do in this situation. I remember mine telling me that sometime too. Like, no one else can make this decision for you, you have to find out what's right.
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great like before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.
That's fine by all means, I don't think you have to hate being male. I hated / hate being male, but at the same time I fought with myself for years over this because I didn't want this other future. Yet, when I noticed how depressed and sad my life really was, it was either live that until I do something stupid, or transition, and try to make the best out of it. So far it's scary, but I'm not fighting it anymore. I hope you can do the same as well, if this is something your going to persue.
Good look with the therapy and everything, Alice. I hope it all turns out well for you; that's what we would all like to hear :D
It feels real now in my life - not just some type of theory which many or many not happen. I have thought about it often enough - but it feels like it will happen now.
*Shudders*
Alice
Alice,
There is still a long way to go to decide If or When you transition.
Although you have professed to accept the fact that you may be TS and stop the denial, there is still an undercurrent of negativity and lack of acceptance in your posts, almost a catch 22 situation in that you are being driven along the path of transition.
Believe me when I say the commitment to this process has to be 100% (or greater), absolute and the resolve has to be there and make it work, whatever curve balls life will throw you.
If it is with reluctance that you head towards transition, then dont even go there, If you do believe its a certainty then your mindset has to be right to go into this.
You do need time, you need to examine your innerelf and reflect, time and time again on what is best for you. If the negativity is because you are scared, frightened of the unknown then everyone who has gone before you has faced that long walk towards a dim and distant light.
Many people I know never hated being male (hey its got some great perks), but hated what you had to do and be on a daily basis within that life. Yeah, some people like me hated my body, but not all.
Question, debate all you want, take your time and decide what you want.
Rebecca
My views on the question you pose in the title of this thread are well known here. Having said that, no matter what others may think or state the decision to transition is one that only you can make. Therapy will not or should not tell you that you should or shouldn't transition but rather reveal/confirm the way you feel thus helping with such a decision.
One thing is for certain, and you've seen it here, is that once started transition can be a slippery slope, fraught with pitfalls, upheavals, and for the vast majority though - happiness. Just be sure as the decision to transition will be a life changing step.
I understand the turmoil that you face and just know that we are here for you, but now I'm preaching to the choir.
Steph
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.
I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.
I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.
:'( >:D
Alice
you know what? life sucks...
i didnt choose to be ts, or to transition, or to be messed up in the way i am, hey, if i could get a magic pill to make me happy as male, id take it (mastectomy and male passing aside) it would be so nice and easy, but so far, there is no 'cure' in the getting rid sense, but transition can cure it to some extent.
o this is your decision
o not everyone who dresses is TS
o what do you want?
o can i get fries and an extra large shake with that kthnx?
o you are your driving force, only you know your mind, be true to yourself, decide what YOU want, then do it. Dithering around only FOSTERS doubt, not real doubt either, your imagining ways to stay in comfy limbo.
R :police:
Quote from: shanetastic on October 15, 2007, 10:36:42 PM
Hehe, because no one will give you such big advice and tell you what to do. Ultimately, this is the life your persuing, or not, and your going to have to live with the decision for the rest of your life.
Sounds great in theory, but in real life, people do indeed give that kind of advice. I receive it very often. I'm sure Alice does as well.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.
I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.
I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.
:'( >:D
Alice
Alice, if you can cope with being male, stay the way you are. Don't get pressured into anything by your peers and take into account all the pros and cons of what a transition means. I know someone who also suffered from depression and she thought transition was the answer. She is halfway there (boob job, facial surgery) and to a certain now regrets her decision. She blames her finacial situation on her transition which is possibly related to the cause but not the only reason. If you can get by with being an androgenous male I would think it was a much easier option. Depression can be caused by various sources and a full male to female transition may not cure it in all cases.
Grr. This is what I am trying to hi-light.
Quote from: Stormy on October 14, 2007, 11:22:58 PM
I am a woman and the idea of being a man repulses me.
Stormy
Why be repulses by being a physical Male. The fact is that is where all MtF start. What repules me is I need to go throught transistion just so my brain (or inner soul) can get its way. My life was never bad - OK I did not fit in for most of the time but I worked hard and found a place I enjoyed. I always wished I was female but as the saying goes "Do not wish your life away".
At the start why is there not a way to accept we have a male body and be happy with it. If the disphoria is a mind/body conflict - why can some not invent a way to fix the mind.
Quote from: BCL on October 16, 2007, 04:39:08 AM
Many people I know never hated being male (hey its got some great perks), but hated what you had to do and be on a daily basis within that life. Yeah, some people like me hated my body, but not all.
I can be sympathertic and have reactions like a female. I can be considerate of other people like other females. I always like the things I could do with my body and never hated my body. Why should I wish for a female body? Sure I would like that softer touch ETC of being female - but the fact is I have a male body and never should of gotten depression.
>:D >:D >:D >:D >:D
Alice
Alice...yer a mess. You've been a mess and you remain a mess. I suspect tomorrow you will be a mess again so I'll tell you again. Instead of fighting it and spending ALL of your energy contemplating what you are or not, you need to take action and find out. You are running around in circles bumping into the same walls over and over again. Arent you tired yet? I sure as hell am.
To be honest I didnt hate being male either. It wasnt that bad, I just realised one day when I had the acrid taste of gun oil in my mouth, none of that ->-bleeped-<- was worth it. You have to decide to be happy and NOBODY can decide for you. Its your decision. Somebody told me one day to "->-bleeped-<- or get off the pot". Well guess what. If you like going over the same thing time after time, try another angle because that side of you is getting so bruised and sore its wasted and withdrawn from normality.
I wished i was born female because transition sucks and it just would have been easier then to go through the hastle and BS of changing. We are like snowflakes, no two are alike..yet we are still all snowflakes. Dont expect your life and feelings to be like the other snowflakes. Because you are different, you will fly, and land different. Nobodies experiences will be yours..its unique. So dont take what everbody else says at heart. They may hate being male, but that is them, not you.
You don't have to hate one life to be happier in another. Many transsexuals have said they never hated being male, they just knew they would be happier being female. Donna Rose is one of them and so am I. It's easier to make the decision to transition if you absolutely hate the body given to you at birth but there's nothing wrong with simply knowing transitioning will make you happier. You don't have to leave miserable to find happiness.
Julie
Quote from: Lori on October 16, 2007, 09:36:12 PM
Alice...yer a mess. You've been a mess and you remain a mess. I suspect tomorrow you will be a mess again so I'll tell you again. Instead of fighting it and spending ALL of your energy contemplating what you are or not, you need to take action and find out. You are running around in circles bumping into the same walls over and over again. Arent you tired yet? I sure as hell am.
To be honest I didnt hate being male either. It wasnt that bad, I just realised one day when I had the acrid taste of gun oil in my mouth, none of that ->-bleeped-<- was worth it. You have to decide to be happy and NOBODY can decide for you. Its your decision. Somebody told me one day to "->-bleeped-<- or get off the pot". Well guess what. If you like going over the same thing time after time, try another angle because that side of you is getting so bruised and sore its wasted and withdrawn from normality.
I wished i was born female because transition sucks and it just would have been easier then to go through the hastle and BS of changing. We are like snowflakes, no two are alike..yet we are still all snowflakes. Dont expect your life and feelings to be like the other snowflakes. Because you are different, you will fly, and land different. Nobodies experiences will be yours..its unique. So dont take what everbody else says at heart. They may hate being male, but that is them, not you.
Hmm Lori - I guess I am going arround in circles. I do need a way to get out of this mess.
Quote from: Julie Marie on October 16, 2007, 09:45:43 PM
Many transsexuals have said they never hated being male, they just knew they would be happier being female. Donna Rose is one of them and so am I.
Julie
Thats what I needed to hear - It is not about hating who I am ATM - it is about what will make me happier in the future. I must remember that I am doing this for a long term future. I am expecting the book from Donna Rose to land on my doorstep soon.
Alice
Quote from: Alice on October 16, 2007, 08:44:25 PM
At the start why is there not a way to accept we have a male body and be happy with it. If the disphoria is a mind/body conflict - why can some not invent a way to fix the mind.
There isn't a way to accept and be happy with a male body if you are female. A person who had no options of ever changing their body to fit their mind may eventually accept what they cannot change, but would never be content with it.
Quote
I can be sympathertic and have reactions like a female. I can be considerate of other people like other females.
You do not have to be female to exhibit these traits. Try to concentrate on being yourself, instead of worrying whether certain characteristics are more typical of a certain sex.
QuoteThere isn't a way to accept and be happy with a male body if you are female. A person who had no options of ever changing their body to fit their mind may eventually accept what they cannot change, but would never be content with it.
Nero, you have a good way with words :D But it's sad that that statement is true. My mom and I were talking tonight and she was like, "Are you sure there's nothing else you can do, do you have to change?" It's odd in a sense, I don't want this, I never asked for it, but I still have to do it. I've tried that whole fitting body to mind thing, and it failed misserbly, so now on to stage II, getting it to actually fit.
something people dont like to accept or consider is varying levels of GID, i dont think it is the same effect on everyone....
some may feel ok, personally, im repulsed by my genetalia, ive cried infront of the mirror naked, wishing it away, some can live male, if they can, its a blessing, live a normalish life please! dont transition unless you really have to for any chance of happyness...
im transitioning to end a 19 year nightmare...
R :police:
Quote from: Rachael on October 17, 2007, 03:36:00 AM
something people dont like to accept or consider is varying levels of GID, i dont think it is the same effect on everyone....
some may feel ok, personally, im repulsed by my genetalia, ive cried infront of the mirror naked, wishing it away, some can live male, if they can, its a blessing, live a normalish life please! dont transition unless you really have to for any chance of happyness...
im transitioning to end a 19 year nightmare...
R :police:
That is a really good point. I hear so many do this to be happy. Transitioning really won't make you happy, but it can allow you to find happienss.
Quote from: Alice on October 15, 2007, 09:50:39 PM
Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.
I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.
I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.
Alice,
You
have to work through this with your therapist. I've been told over and over again, "Do not transition unless you
absolutely have to". The option of "staying" male MAY still be open to you. There may other issues that are causing you to feel the way that you do. It's essential that you explore EVERYTHING. You don't want to end up like (luckily, a minority) some TS who regret their decision to transition.
I'm not trying to preach here. Just encourage you to be open at this stage....
Hugs,
Carol
Quote from: carol_w on October 17, 2007, 08:53:31 AM
I've been told over and over again, "Do not transition unless you absolutely have to".
I do not think that is good advice. When you are making any major change in your life, you should look at what your motivation is. Are you moving toward a positive goal or are you running away from something negative? Running away is usually not good motivation. Running toward something usually is. To me, "absolutely have to" sounds like running away. I would say, "Do not transition unless you absolutely
want to."
Quote from: Lori on October 17, 2007, 07:12:18 AM
Transitioning really won't make you happy, but it can allow you to find happienss.
One of the wisest things I've read yet ;) SO true!
The thing of it is Alice, if you had a great life before depression, you gotta make DARN sure that this recent depression and current unhappiness is from the GID and not something else. When I read your words, I hear the pain and suffering, but sometimes it almost sounds like you don't WANT to live a female life? If you would rather be a happy male, then by all means explore every possible means to do so.
I think most people transition when the very concept of "living as a happy male" makes no sense anymore. Not that it's always a totally miserable existence as a male, but with GID there's always this all-pervading, persistent, and unavoidable sadness infecting everything we think and do, no matter HOW good and fun it may be on the surface. For me anyway, every single happy experience and event ALWAYS came with the thought,
"yea that's great, but I SHOULD be enjoying this as a female." It sucked the joy from life, the colour out of every experience. I knew who I was. I just didn't know how to GET there.
So the idea of "living as a happy male" would be emotional suicide for me. I love me, I love Kate. Wishing to live as a happy male would be like wishing myself dead, to destroy everything right and true about who I am. THAT would the worst tragedy of all.
~Kate~
Quote from: Alice on October 16, 2007, 08:44:25 PM
At the start why is there not a way to accept we have a male body and be happy with it. If the disphoria is a mind/body conflict - why can some not invent a way to fix the mind.
Alice,
I can empathize with what you're feeling. I transitioned in 1993, then after a year fulltime RLT, didn't continue any further. I currently id as androgyne, some days I don't think about gender at all, at other times I still think I'd probably be happier if I changed my body to match my inner sense. I also deal with depression. I manage to live as who I am w/ male body. But the question doesn't ever end. I expect this will be part of my entire life.
Zythyra
Quote from: Rachael on October 17, 2007, 03:36:00 AM
something people dont like to accept or consider is varying levels of GID, i dont think it is the same effect on everyone....
some may feel ok, personally, im repulsed by my genetalia, ive cried infront of the mirror naked, wishing it away, some can live male, if they can, its a blessing, live a normalish life please! dont transition unless you really have to for any chance of happyness...
im transitioning to end a 19 year nightmare...
R :police:
I prefer to call it a 19 year suicidal battle, but that's 52583209x better now at least.
aye. i tried 3 times, being the real me was the only thing in my life so far ive been good at!
R :police:
Alice
I don't hate my male body, I just know that I am truly a female, but it took a very long time to truly accept this about myself and to be true ro myself which is what I am finally doing.
I tried everything to avoid looking at this part of me, and nothing worked, in fact in avoiding looking at my true self, i suffered from great bouts of depression, which caused many other problems for me. All I can say is that it takes what it takes for you to be ready to truly accept who you are. I also stongly believe that I was not ready to accept my true self until earlier this year.
It took alot of soul searching and finally facing the fact that I am ts. It is not something I asked for or wanted to be when I grew up, but it is what I am.
I have noticed that since I have accepted this about myself and have started taking steps toward being my trueself , that I no longer have the huge bouts of depression, I have my self esteem back, and I have a confidence that I have not had for very long time. I have been told this by my therpapist, my friends who know what I am doing. I feel alive and for the very first time in along time I am somewhat content.
but, like I said this has taken a long time to get to this point. I also know that I a very long and difficult road ahead of me, but i am truly excited about taking this journey and basically starting my life all over.
Please take care and just take as much time to find your true self as you need, I wish you the best.
JUST BE TRUE TO YOURSELF That is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
HUGZ
Ariana
Thanks Ariana,
I am finally accepting I am TS. As you well know this is a long process and I am angry about loosing my former sporting life. I know inthe long term accpeting I am female is very important for me to be happy. I am slowly getting to where I need to be.
Alice
Quote from: Alice on October 24, 2007, 02:06:21 AM
Thanks Ariana,
I am finally accepting I am TS. As you well know this is a long process and I am angry about loosing my former sporting life. I know inthe long term accpeting I am female is very important for me to be happy. I am slowly getting to where I need to be.
Alice
Why should you have to lose your sporting life? Women can do anything.
Quote from: Lisbeth on October 24, 2007, 09:35:30 AM
Quote from: Alice on October 24, 2007, 02:06:21 AM
Thanks Ariana,
I am finally accepting I am TS. As you well know this is a long process and I am angry about loosing my former sporting life. I know inthe long term accpeting I am female is very important for me to be happy. I am slowly getting to where I need to be.
Alice
Why should you have to lose your sporting life? Women can do anything.
Indeed, lots of women are into sports. If you like it then go ahead and keep doing it.
Quote from: Lisbeth on October 24, 2007, 09:35:30 AM
Quote from: Alice on October 24, 2007, 02:06:21 AM
Thanks Ariana,
I am finally accepting I am TS. As you well know this is a long process and I am angry about loosing my former sporting life. I know inthe long term accpeting I am female is very important for me to be happy. I am slowly getting to where I need to be.
Alice
Why should you have to lose your sporting life? Women can do anything.
Exactly. The thing of it is Alice, transition doesn't necessarily destroy your old life... it just places it into the proper CONTEXT. You can still compete, you can ride and swim, just as a woman... and from a woman's perspective. But if that thought makes you sad or angry, then you really gotta dig deep and figure out where that's coming from.
It's one thing to be sad and angry over the difficulties of transitioning, and over possible losses like job, friends and family. But if you're sad and angry over losing your male LIFE, then... IMHO, that's something you really, REALLY need to address with your therapist before starting a transition.
Transitioning isn't a cure for depression. Consider that even after transitioning, you may STILL be angry and bitter - perhaps even moreso - over losing the life you seem to want to hold on to. If you don't resolve these issues, they're just going to follow you right into your womanhood and continue to haunt you.
~Kate~
Hey there :) .
I never hated being male, I just preferred being female, and fantasized about it often, and dressed when I could. But being male.....I didn't really HATE it, but I was very jealous of females. At 52, I started transition, then stopped, then started again at 53, then stopped. At 54 I decided to go full tilt, because it was what I truly wanted/needed, otherwise, I would live, and die incomplete. It was not until I was 56 that I got a doctor and a therapist.
So, what was their diagnosis? Classical transsexual, fully transitioned, late onset.
In my case, what they saw WAS my diagnosis. I guess what I'm getting around to, was even without a therapist's opinion and advice, I transitioned. Don't worry about do I or don't I. Bottom line is, you will, if you must, and the way a therapist makes (or should make) their diagnosis of if you are ts is that you tell them so. After that, they can help you over the hurdles.
All the best,
Bev
Gee - I get it now. I am more relaxed and comfortable as a Female - so transistion makes sense.
As for my sporting life - depression has taken it away from me. It will take me a long time to get even close to where I was - and any transistion will not help. As I said before - all of this was taken a lot of energy and I would be a lot happier if that energy went into the triathlons.
Alice
Yo Alice.
You're just going to be in limbo for a while. Your life is not going to implode. Your brain isn't going to be scooped out and replaced. The planet is not going to collapse and God isn't going to point his finger at you and declare, "DUDE WTF YOU MESSED EVERYTHING UP".
The world is not ending. It's still spinning - sort of like your head.
You remind me of me. Or as I like to refer to my former self now; him.
He was a well of untapped potential. He was talented and intelligent and dapper. He could pick a woman out of a crowd and make her his. He was a brilliant artist and a beautiful linguist. He was a writer and a poet. He was masculine and charming. To be honest, if I ever met a man like him, I'd probably fall in love just like every other girl that fell head over heels for him. I loved this boy. He was my brother.
None of his relationships ever worked, because he was so withdrawn. There was a certain emotional distraction that every woman he got involved with picked up on. I would claw at the back of his eyes and rattle around in my cage and bare my teeth and yell "Let me touch her! Let me talk to her!" and I would, and he wouldn't be aware of it. And they would be confused.
So when he finally got so exhausted from guarding my cage and fell asleep, I put him out of his misery. It was a rather interesting experience. This is because afterwards, I realized that he had always just been a figment of my imagination, and that there truly was no force great enough in the universe preventing me from being free.
Your species is here to help you, not pressure you or hurt you. Anyone who tries otherwise should be ignored. However, you can only know what you experience, so, burrow inside of your own skull as deep as necessary.
You should not be lamenting like this. It should not be a question of, "How do I turn into a woman?"
Instead, you should be wondering to yourself, "Where is she, where is she? Where did I put her?"
She can help you. You can help you, Alice.
~ BB
Alice,
I also live in Sydney, and know the psychs that deal with TS issues in Sydney.
Any good psych will look into your past and your state of mind, and will not allow you to start hormones without a good indication that you are TS, and any doctor will seek the opinion and approval of your psych before starting you on hormones.
With myself, I hated being male (but not everyone is like that), and was slowly self destructing, and would have eventually succedded in ending my own life, now post transisiton I am the happiest I have ever been, and am no longer on the path to self destruction. I have a job where I am respected and liked (and my collegues know cause I transitioned on the job). So I have been one of the lucky TS's that have had a successful transition. My journey from first seeking help, starting hormones and transisiton was just 3 months, short, but it was right for me.
Remember that for most, transition is not an easy thing, be prepared to loose contact with friends and family, you will be on hormones for the rest of your life, and the posibility that you may be out of work. This doesn't mean that it will happen, but it is things to be prepared for.
My mum, dad and siblings no longer want anything to do with me, but apart from that I have been lucky, I have a wonderful partner, whom I love dearly, my neighbours know and are great, my work could not have been better with transition, my collegues are great, and treat me as if I was always female, and include me on things.
So basically if transition is for you, then do it, but if you have any doubts, then you need to sort out those doubts before transition, or you might find that transition is not for you, and that you are happy and confortable just cross-dressing.
You mentioned that you wish that somone could invent a way to fix the mind. I have to say that for many of us fixing the mind is a very scary path for science to take, I know myself I would not want to fix the mind, because I am female, and have no desire to be male, fixing the mind can be likened to trying to straigten a gay person, which would also scare the hell out of me, since I am a lesbian. But I guess for people that are not 150% certain that transition is the only way for them to be themselves, then fixing the mind might seam like a viable option, and only you can do that, but you will probably always live with the desire to cross-dress.
Ensure that you speak with your psych about your doubts and concerns so that he knows everything he needs to know and can then make the best suggestions for you. If you are unhappy about being put on hormones so quickly, or are unhappy with your doctor, then seek out another.
Remember it is your life, and you need to be happy, if happiness is transition, then transition, if happyness is cross-dressing, then cros-dress. Everyone is different.