So not all of us have transitioned quite yet I take it, so anytime we accidentally or on purpose are referred to as our gender by a total stranger is very rewarding.
Yesterday I was roughhousing with my roommate a bit in line waiting for food and someone asked if we were brothers...to which, a bit shocked, I said yes. I feel bad for lying though since my roommate is a girl a bit of a blow to her esteem probably but I couldnt help myself, and neither of us are entirely 'out' anyways, though.
Another time was more intentional, I was filling out paper work to get a pass to a campground reserve, and to my dismay it asked for gender, I decided to list myself as male anyways even though Id have to hand my ID in, the guy was totally cool about it though and referred to me as 'sir' when we got our passes. Nice of him to do, really.
That's awesome.
I had to go to a hearing for child support and I went with my partner who is a trans man. When the guy came to find the father he looked to my partner.
We had a nice laugh from his confusion. We had to tell him twice that it was me.
My partner isn't on hormones and I was wearing some light eyeshadow, but nothing more.
It gave me a nice lift for an otherwise unpleasant event
Sent from my LGLS740 using Tapatalk
I know I'm passing if I can get on a bus for a child ticket lol
I used to pass without even trying lol. Literally before I even considered transitioning, my whole life, I was called sir, he, him, etc. Even before starting HRT, as soon as I decided to transition, I just started using the men's room. It was actually quite a relief because now I didn't get the funny stares and questions in public bathrooms.
I love not having to correct people (now it's just a few people who have known me for many years that i have to remind to use my new name and correct gender pronouns).
I used to pass regularly before I hit puberty... getting called a boy was my great delight...
Since then, I get the occasional "Sir" in winter when I am covered by enough gear that my body isn't visible. I also pass when I wear an old plaid jacket that belonged to my grandfather 20 years ago.
Just last week, I got "sir" while t-shirt shopping at my local thrift store... I was then asked for fashion advice by the person... a laugh in itself since I am a slob.
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
Even before accepting myself, I was called "sir" frequently in really random situations. But I'll go with the most recent one:
I do mobile orders from Starbucks on my way to work and I hadn't updated the name on my account, so it was still my legal and very feminine name. When I got there, the store was basically empty. They were about to call out my drink, looked at the name, looked at me standing at the counter, like I couldn't possibly belong to such a name, and then they scanned the rest of the place before calling it out. Their confusion when I said it was me was pretty great.
I've since changed my name, thankfully.
Most recently I know I passed because I got kicked out of a pub for pretty much no reason, they thought I was a lot more drunk than I was. They never kick out girls though lol.
The dressing rooms at a Wal-mart was gendered and I was trying some pants on. When I saw the rooms I looked at my mother and said, "Oh god." She knew that I hate being in situations like that, so she just said, "Just go ahead and do it, this will be the only time we will use these." So I went to go to the women's dressing room and the employee politely coughed and said, "Um, sir?" and pointed to the sign by the door. This was the first time someone couldn't read me, so I just glanced over to my mom and she was grinning real big. So, I was actually able to use the men's dressing room. (which was awesome for me)
Quote from: Vincent Johnson on April 27, 2016, 06:50:17 PM
The dressing rooms at a Wal-mart was gendered and I was trying some pants on. When I saw the rooms I looked at my mother and said, "Oh god." She knew that I hate being in situations like that, so she just said, "Just go ahead and do it, this will be the only time we will use these." So I went to go to the women's dressing room and the employee politely coughed and said, "Um, sir?" and pointed to the sign by the door. This was the first time someone couldn't read me, so I just glanced over to my mom and she was grinning real big. So, I was actually able to use the men's dressing room. (which was awesome for me)
That's great!
Are gendered fitting rooms common where you are? Most stores here just have a row of stalls for anyone to use.
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
Quote from: arice on April 27, 2016, 08:16:50 PM
That's great!
Are gendered fitting rooms common where you are? Most stores here just have a row of stalls for anyone to use.
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
At Wal-marts they are common. However, in some clothing shops like Factory Connection, JC Penny, and Target I believe (not sure, haven't been to Target in a while) have a row of stalls for anyone to use. There are a few other clothing stores with gendered dressing rooms that I have been to as well, but I tend to avoid them if at all possible.
Went to the convenience store near my house today and got called sir. Not actually trying to pass right now so I was surprised. Haven't had this happen since before puberty. So far it's been the highlight of my day.
Sent from my SM-S902L using Tapatalk
One of the first times I passed was when I was dropping some clothing off at a local soup kitchen, and an older gentleman asked my mom if I was her son. It was so weird, since I made no real effort to "pass" and thought I looked like a mess.
Later than that, I think one of my favorites was getting read right over the phone when I got a random wrong number--which is really surreal since I feel like I still sound like a little kid.
I have a similar experience actually
I have a best friend who i was walking down the road with and this kid road past us on a bike and asked my best friend if we where brother and sister. When my best friend told me what she said i looked at my best friend and said "You didn't have to say anything!" (She told her no) I was sad she said no but just the thought someone said "He, brother, Him" made me happy. I don't blame her for saying no though because this is before i came out or even new myself but funny i didn't know then lol.
I passed today - as my 12 year old brother. I'm 25 :C
Quote from: Peep on May 08, 2016, 12:35:59 PM
I passed today - as my 12 year old brother. I'm 25 :C
Oh that's the worst! I passed a couple of months ago - as my friend's child. My friend is 19, and does not have a child >~<
I also passed the other day at a pub - it came up that I was vegan, and the waitress was asking/teasing me about it. Somehow we went from there to the topic of how young I looked. She asked my age (20 ;-;), and if I get IDed a lot, then said that my veganism must be the key to my youthly visage. So that's my excuse now :)
"[Manly Name], why do you look like a strangely proportioned child?"
"It's my vegan powers." *seductive hair toss*
People often call me sir if they are looking at me from behind, but when I turn around or talk to them they switch over to miss.
Quote from: nameuser on May 09, 2016, 06:59:40 AM
Oh that's the worst! I passed a couple of months ago - as my friend's child. My friend is 19, and does not have a child >~<
I also passed the other day at a pub - it came up that I was vegan, and the waitress was asking/teasing me about it. Somehow we went from there to the topic of how young I looked. She asked my age (20 ;-;), and if I get IDed a lot, then said that my veganism must be the key to my youthly visage. So that's my excuse now :)
"[Manly Name], why do you look like a strangely proportioned child?"
"It's my vegan powers." *seductive hair toss*
I'm vegan too! I'll definitely use that and being raised vegetarian as a reason I'm so short P: I was actually stunted a bit by childhood illness but that's more depressing than just being mildly malnourished
I never passed :-\
I was with my (transphobic) dad, buying bread at a little store near my house. And I held the door open for this lady who had her hands full of grocery things and she's all like, "Thank you, young man" and I just gave my dad this huge cheshire grin. He didn't say anything, but inwardly I was like 8)
I know that in the target close to me, the dressing rooms are not gendered, but the two different dressing rooms are one in the men's department, and the other in the women's department. So in a way it is not gender specific, but location gendered by the nature that they are in the middle of the gendered locations. I'm sure there they wouldn't mind anyone stepping to either which way.
I know for myself at work its a lot of the times hit or miss at a 50/50, when I used to wear my button up, I was misgendered a lot due to the fact that those tend to hide my body shape like crazy. But this isn't about the times not being gendered properly so without further ado....
Well with the recent change of management at work, the one upside to it is the dress code is less strict, and I am always wearing clothes that actually show my curves and actual girly figure, its more of an 80/20 of passing at the 80 mark.
Today was actually interesting, as one of my regular customers since I started working at this location, has seen pretty much my whole transformation as thus far. And today she finally noticed and then exclaimed, "Oh my gosh, BOOBIES!" Like she was totally excited. But then I assured her that it was all a slight facade as for now, seeing as I am not yet on hormones, but the way I am able to suppress my tummy as I do and kinda shift my body fat ever in the slight and double bra-ing it, is how I get my shape.
But anyways this still might be off topic.
So here we go, the last time I went to see my old manager at her old/new/old store, when I walked in, I was greeted as "welcome to [company name], miss" which made everything great! And so when I asked to see the manager. They called her up, so while I was waiting up front, well off to the side, I look down the long stretch of aisles, and then I see her and she thus throws her hands up in the air and just completely yells out "KKKKAAAAAATTTTTTEEEEEE!" Which was completely awesome that she wouldn't just call me by my workplace name as my last name.
But then again, it kinda makes me smile when someone decides to stop mid-sir, and then completely becomes apologetic correcting themselves immediately, that they actually looked up from their phone or the likes of actually paying attention.
Kate <3
I've only been sir'd one time that I know of. I was at Chick-Fil-A, standing in line with my head down, and the cashier called me forward with a "sir" and then when I looked up she immediately "corrected" herself to "ma'am."
Other than that, I've seen people looking at me curiously like they were trying to get a read on whether I was male or female, and I'm sure that some people are way more discrete about it than others.
Unfortunately, I usually still get read as female even from behind with a men's haircut and men's clothing because my hips are just so damn wide and my butt is really large in comparison to my waist. It sucks.
The weird thing is that there was a time for about a year where I was actively trying to not pass as male. I was trying to be feminine and look feminine because I was tired of the social consequences of being openly trans and had really, really needed a job. During this time, multiple people read me as trans male (not because of physical appearance, though) and actually asked me about it. On one of those occasions I had long hair and wasn't binding. On one occasion, I was wearing a dress. I guess some people are just really observant.
I passed today... much to the confusion of a kid at the park who heard my kids calling me mom...
Suddenly I hear "are you a boy or a girl? You look like a boy but they called you mom..." from this confused preteen.
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
I'm going to relay my rare passing moments pre-T. I only had four instances. My voice and any close inspection outed me imeadiatly. I was already 22 when I first came out, so I was in the fearful locked up and closeted phase for a while.
1. When I first dressed out in college, a fellow classmate came up to me and said "I saw you across the hall and thought 'who's the cute new guy?' Then I realised it was you." And laughed it off. It seemed like a promising start but passing didnt get much better over the years. That moment made me feel good though. She was a really cute girl too.
2. Second time two young guys outside the local mall shouted at me "Are you a boy or girl?!" Knowing my voice wouldn't do me good and being in a hurry I just shot them a wry smile.
3. In a really dark room by a really old man. Wow that sounds creepy... We were at a surprise party for a 90 y.o. great grandmother of my girlfriend's. The room was just dim haha.
4. Lastly, I was puking into a bucket on memorial day at lake Havasu. My work goes there every year as a company vacation. If you don't know what it is, its basically a giant boat tailgate party. I got a little too wasted the night before.
My boss was telling the guys next to us I was hungover. "She's sick..."
"Him???" While pointing at me.
"HER." My boss trying to correct them.
This was before I was out at work so I couldn't be mad. Plus I was too sock to care much. Apparently I'm hella manly while sick.
I didn't pass again till at least 3+ months on T.
I have a few that somewhat count. I identify as neutrois/agender, but aim for an appearance of masculine/androgyny. All of this is pre-hormones (so a crappy estrogen-filled body). In these stories, no one knows how I identify. I'm in my early 20's now.
Age: 13/14. I didn't know anything about gender, so I wasn't trying to "pass". I wore dark clothes with mid-back hair.
1) A friend at the time thought that a boy in our grade was me from behind. She ran up and to hug me (really him). After, she was "so embarrassed", I laughed it off but was kind of happy at the time.
2) On a weird school bonding trip, I was sitting on a log facing away from a campfire with my hood up. Two boys from the grade below kicked their ball into the forest. I said "good luck finding it". One of them asked "Wait, are you a boy or a girl?". I played a mind game or two before saying that I was a girl. Again, happy about this "technical" misgendering.
Age: 19/20. I knew what gender was/was semi-trying to "pass". I wore dark clothes, binders and had short/shaggy hair.
1) I used to work at a restaurant where all servers dressed in a dark uniform with a tie. It was 50/50 whether I was "Miss/Mam" or "Sir" at first glance. Usually after I spoke there was a quick correction to female pronouns with an embarassed customer. With one older couple, the gentleman kept calling me "Sir" while his embarrassed wife kept saying I was a girl. I never specified and they both kept calling me what they thought I was.
2) The most recent was at my kid-brother's birthday party. One of the dad's was talking to my parents, then glanced at me and asked my brother "And is this your older brother with you?". Neither of us responded, although I'm sure my parents probably "corrected" him. My brother wanted help with an arcade game, so I was out of earshot.
unfortunately a lot of the time im misgendered (im pre T) -_-' BUT! i do have a couple passing moments. before i realized my gender i had a customer at work call me sir. i did a double take and was like "did they just call me sir???" and i felt really good at the time and i didnt think much more about it but i always remember it fondly.
i went to my therapist a little bit earlier than usual and was sitting in the waiting room on my phone. when i went in for my session my therapist told me that she wasnt wearing her glasses and she was talking to one of her coworkers and went "who's that man waiting for?" referring to me and man it felt amazing hearing that!
and then today at work i was called sir! which rarely happens! only my coworkers use my proper pronouns so hearing strangers is great!
I live in Texas where you get sir or ma'am'd all the time because it's the polite thing to do, and I am at the point where I mostly pass all the time. By this I mean that people are unsure of my gender because when I go out to eat they neither sir nor ma'am me--something very impolite where I live. They sir or ma'am the people with me, but they subtly call me neither. They do, however, always take the orders of the women I am with before mine (another Ms. Manners Must you know if you live in the South), so I know that they are pretty sure I'm male. I have actually been sirr'd a couple dozen times since my voice has dropped and I am rarely ma'am'd these days. The only exception is the McDonalds that I have been going to for over 15 years near my house. All the people there recognize me and have watched my change so they still call me ma'am, to my annoyance. But honestly it's not worth explaining to me because I really don't wanna become to gossip of the McDs, lol. But since my voice has dropped I have had tons of great passing experiences (yay!).
My mother told me that someone referred to me as her son the other day - this is the first time I've at-a-glance passed when someone other than me has been present, so maybe now my family will start to believe me when i say i don't feel comfortable in the ladies room lol
Quote from: FtMitch on May 23, 2016, 10:16:29 AM
I live in Texas where you get sir or ma'am'd all the time because it's the polite thing to do, and I am at the point where I mostly pass all the time. By this I mean that people are unsure of my gender because when I go out to eat they neither sir nor ma'am me--something very impolite where I live. They sir or ma'am the people with me, but they subtly call me neither. They do, however, always take the orders of the women I am with before mine (another Ms. Manners Must you know if you live in the South), so I know that they are pretty sure I'm male. I have actually been sirr'd a couple dozen times since my voice has dropped and I am rarely ma'am'd these days. The only exception is the McDonalds that I have been going to for over 15 years near my house. All the people there recognize me and have watched my change so they still call me ma'am, to my annoyance. But honestly it's not worth explaining to me because I really don't wanna become to gossip of the McDs, lol. But since my voice has dropped I have had tons of great passing experiences (yay!).
People almost NEVER sir or ma'am here unless you're spending over £50, or you're complaining about something lol
i used to occasionally be called 'young lady' by teachers, and lass, lassie, hen or love by people like bus drivers or bartenders... now I get 'mate' or 'pal' which is nice. It's weird how girls get diminutives or faintly sexualised from men, but boys get treated like a friend ::)
I pass every time even though I'm pre-everything. It might be because I'm young (15), but I think it's just because of many small things that convince people I must be male; First off, my hair is longer than most guys (shoulder-length), but it is still definitely a boy haircut. Some FTMs probably assume the long hair would make their faces look more feminine, but actually, it's the opposite; it hides non-existing jawlines, and makes most people assume my face looks girlish simply because of the hair, so it makes them think ''Oh, the only reason why I think his face is feminine is because I've been conditioned to think longer hair is girly, therefore his face must actually boyish, but i just can't see it.". Wearing looser clothing also helps. My binding method works pretty well (double sports bras because my transphobic parents won't let me use a real binder) and I also pack (double underwear method with two socks wrapped together. I like double things). I guess it's because I'm so confident in my manliness as well.
Seriously, the last time I got misgendered was in December. I was wearing a Santa hat and was called ''Mother Christmas'' by an old man who let me in to the show I was going to watch. When I left to go watch it, I distinctly heard the other man who was working with him (and had called me ''sir'' a few minutes earlier, of course) tell the old dude ''I think that was a guy''.
The most I've transitioned is a binder that doesn't bind too well but I've had people call me by male pronouns a lot. I was once filling in for a manager at work and I was interviewing someone for a job opening with my other 2 managers. She kept referring to me as a "him" even though we had previously met, she did a group interview and she was in my group, so both times we interacted we were in a pretty small room.
So I don't know if the people who continue to call me by male pronouns are doing it out of understanding or because they don't know. I actually find it really funny when they realize I'm a girl the shock is so great I can't help but laugh
Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk
I don't recall ever passing to strangers (I haven't made a lot of effort in transitioning yet, people here really aren't the nicest sometimes) but I got "bro" and male pronouns from my friend after I told her and "buddy" from my dad the other day, I'd get something more feminine before they knew. c:
I might be getting a binder soon, so hopefully that would help me, even just a little q:
I passed today :) and was outed by my 4 year old daughter...
We were at the local hardware store and my daughter was telling the clerk "it's my mommy's birthday today". The clerk asked if she and her daddy were out shopping for mommy and my daughter was "no! This is my mommy!"
The clerk was mortified but I was happy I passed... happy birthday to me :)
Sent from my SM-G870W using Tapatalk
I don't really know what was going through the guy's head when he saw me today since I don't make much more effort to pass than before I came out, but I was in the line to get searched before going onto a German war ship (there's a hell of a lot of Jutland commemoration going on where I live, including a German and a British war ship docking in the pier just outside town) and the guy said something about a "lad" and I have no idea if he meant me or my brother... Because I was the one who ended up getting searched by him and my brother got sent straight through by someone else but we'll not talk about that and he didn't seem to be paying attention to my brother. I'm feeling kinda happy about that, I don't consider myself to look that masculine since I don't put much effort into how I look- I don't even have a binder. q:
I was at a junk sale yesterday and I think I passed for most people (got a lot of 'pal' and 'mate' and 'I've got to pay this boy...' etc) but then a like 7 year old kid asked me if i was a girl or a boy, and her mum said 'He's a man, don't ask such a rude question!' I always thought kids would be less perceptive than adults
I also kind of wanted to say that I don't think the question is rude, 'cause kids learn by asking questions, but i didn't want to invite more conversation about it >.>
still don't think I'm passing as an adult male tho
I've never not passed and am Pre-T. I'm 15 though so I guess that's gotta help me considering I always get mistaken for a 12 year old lol. I've been able to train my voice too sound as male as possible and one girl before said that my voice sounded deeper the other day which made me really happy haha. I feel really happy I have the ability too pass and I hope I'm able too until I can get onto T, considering that's going to be a while.
Still pre-T, but at the airport last week: Sir, this isn't your passport. :D Massively inconvenient at the end of the day, but still - I passed.
Okay, have a GREAT passing story today! I am pretty much passing 100% now. See, I had a lot of facial hair (well, "a lot" for only being on T for 7.5 months I should say), about a half inch long on my chin, but like most of my eyebrows (which I dye) it was blonde. So I used beard dye, and I went from passing 80% of the time to 100%! Now on to the story...
I am at the grocery store, and I bought a bottle of wine along with my groceries. They ask for my ID, so I hold it up. They're in a rush and just glance at the date. The guy bagging groceries apparently plays a game with the check out guy where they guess the age, and he said "22?" I laughed and said "no, 30!" Then the cash register puts up a warning, and the checkout guy is like "wait, what year were you born? I put in the wrong year." I laughed and started to get my ID back out and he's like, "no, no, just tell me the year!" I said, "1986." He went "Oh, I put in '96! Sorry!" We all laughed, and I made the old joke about how one day I would appreciate looking so young.
Basically, through all this, no one questioned me at all! They just thought I was a young looking guy and gave me ZERO impression at all that they were second guessing my gender after they misread the date on my ID. (I don't know how it is in other states, but on Texas drivers licenses the "sex" is no where near the date of birth.) They didn't look at me funny or seem like they were wondering why I looked so young or second guessing themselves... they just laughed about him misreading the date and causing the register to give an "underage" alert. It made me feel awesome! YAY!
I only pass if people don't look at my face or hear me talk.... *laughs*
But that's always been sort of the case even before HRT.
There was one time where me and a friend were in a Michael's store (craft/art supply store)
My friend passed by a female associate first and got a cheerful, "Welcome to Michael's!". He aknowledged her and kept going. I came next. I got the same thing. I sort of nodded at her and quietly said "thanks" (my voice was just starting to change)
I realized she was staring at me as I passed her, and then from behind me, I hear, softly and with feeling:
"Welcome to Michael's!!"
I almost expected a wolf whistle. @_@
Thing is... I don't normally get responses like that to my appearance.... only since starting T has it ever happened.
Passing always gives you that great feeling inside, I love it. I usually always pass as a male. A few months ago I was trying on a tshirt at Walmart and the lady told me to go right in and pointed at a men's dressing room door. I was trying to be calm but inside I was smiling so hard.
The best is being called "sir" though. The other day I was buying something from Subway and the lady at the counter said "Have a nice day sir." 8)
It's great that 90% of the time I pass, but I pass as a younger boy around 14 when I'm 18.
I was a little frazzled when it happened, but I went to our local Turkey Hill a few days ago to get rid of some coupons we had, and I got gendered right by the cashier. I don't remember if he called me "sir", "man", or "bro" but it felt pretty great to get read right in front of other people--made even better by our pizza guy doing the same thing.
Quote from: Daydreamer on June 29, 2016, 04:17:26 PM
I was a little frazzled when it happened, but I went to our local Turkey Hill a few days ago to get rid of some coupons we had, and I got gendered right by the cashier. I don't remember if he called me "sir", "man", or "bro" but it felt pretty great to get read right in front of other people--made even better by our pizza guy doing the same thing.
I miss turkey hill.
Congrats though on the correct gendering.
just now I was talking to my uber eats driver (he never dropped my food of due to communication issues) and he called me sir and thought I was calling in for the girl who ordered it. I was going to correct him because I was annoyed and knew it would frazzle him if the man he was just talking to was actually a girl but, I really liked the fact that my voice sounded so manly that I couldn't possibly be a girl
I was at the doctors office talking about a problem with scheduling an appointment and the nurse had pulled up my file and everything and called back to the doctors staff about trying to get an appointment because they didn't have anything open till the end of July and the nurse looked at me and went "She's seen doctor ... before right?" And I'm like hah that's actually me.
My hair is a little bit shorter now and ever since I cut it to this length if I enter a womens restroom I alarm some women and kids of various ages look at me confused. I told my spouse that it might be time that I stop going into the womens room because the number of people bugging out has tripled lately
I'm pre-T and I never pass unless I put on mascara facial hair, haha. It takes a lot of time to do so I only really do it if I plan on being outside for an extended period or want to "look good."
I have a feminine body shape (wide hips, big butt) so I get "ma'am"d all the time. When I put the make-up on, it either confuses people too much to risk gendering me, or I do get called "sir" or "dude."
The most recent time I passed, I was at a club and I was wearing my mascara facial hair and shorts that show off my particularly furry legs (for being pre-T). It was crowded, so when people tapped me to get by, they would say, "Excuse me, sir." It was nice.
But then the very next night at the grocery store, sans "facial hair," I was ma'am'd. It was obnoxious. I really can't wait to start T.
Most of the time, my voice gives me away but there have been a few situations were it seems like I've passed. The most recent ones practically were at the same event... the graduation party of my mother. First one was the usual public restroom/bathroom issue - went to the girls' one and realised it was a big mistake when some of the younger ones were looking at me in a very strange way, although they all kept quiet. The other one was one of the waiters asking "koenntest du kurz ein Stueck zur Seite gehen, mein Guter?", which practically translates to "could you please step aside for a moment, my dear?", just with the fact that the my dear is gendered in German and he actually used the male version.
Those events are quite rare, but that will change soon enough... at least I hope so.
The first time that I truly passed in person was, ironically, in church. My mom had forced me to go, so I did, wearing black jeans and a shirt and one of the guys who works there hugged all of my sisters and mom and then reached out and shook my hand and called me "sir." Unfortunately, my mom "corrected" him but it still made my day.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk