Times you've passed in public

[lorble]

I've only been sir'd one time that I know of. I was at Chick-Fil-A, standing in line with my head down, and the cashier called me forward with a "sir" and then when I looked up she immediately "corrected" herself to "ma'am."

Other than that, I've seen people looking at me curiously like they were trying to get a read on whether I was male or female, and I'm sure that some people are way more discrete about it than others.

Unfortunately, I usually still get read as female even from behind with a men's haircut and men's clothing because my hips are just so damn wide and my butt is really large in comparison to my waist. It sucks.

The weird thing is that there was a time for about a year where I was actively trying to not pass as male. I was trying to be feminine and look feminine because I was tired of the social consequences of being openly trans and had really, really needed a job. During this time, multiple people read me as trans male (not because of physical appearance, though) and actually asked me about it. On one of those occasions I had long hair and wasn't binding. On one occasion, I was wearing a dress. I guess some people are just really observant.

[arice]

I passed today... much to the confusion of a kid at the park who heard my kids calling me mom...
Suddenly I hear "are you a boy or a girl? You look like a boy but they called you mom..." from this confused preteen.

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[WanderingFace]

I'm going to relay my rare passing moments pre-T. I only had four instances. My voice and any close inspection outed me imeadiatly. I was already 22 when I first came out, so I was in the fearful locked up and closeted phase for a while.

1. When I first dressed out in college, a fellow classmate came up to me and said "I saw you across the hall and thought 'who's the cute new guy?' Then I realised it was you." And laughed it off. It seemed like a promising start but passing didnt get much better over the years. That moment made me feel good though. She was a really cute girl too.

2. Second time two young guys outside the local mall shouted at me "Are you a boy or girl?!" Knowing my voice wouldn't do me good and being in a hurry I just shot them a wry smile.

3. In a really dark room by a really old man. Wow that sounds creepy... We were at a surprise party for a 90 y.o. great grandmother of my girlfriend's. The room was just dim haha.

4. Lastly, I was puking into a bucket on memorial day at lake Havasu. My work goes there every year as a company vacation. If you don't know what it is, its basically a giant boat tailgate party. I got a little too wasted the night before.
My boss was telling the guys next to us I was hungover. "She's sick..."
"Him???" While pointing at me.
"HER." My boss trying to correct them.
This was before I was out at work so I couldn't be mad. Plus I was too sock to care much. Apparently I'm hella manly while sick.

I didn't pass again till at least 3+ months on T.

[sigsi]

I have a few that somewhat count. I identify as neutrois/agender, but aim for an appearance of masculine/androgyny. All of this is pre-hormones (so a crappy estrogen-filled body). In these stories, no one knows how I identify. I'm in my early 20's now.

Age: 13/14. I didn't know anything about gender, so I wasn't trying to "pass". I wore dark clothes with mid-back hair.
1) A friend at the time thought that a boy in our grade was me from behind. She ran up and to hug me (really him). After, she was "so embarrassed", I laughed it off but was kind of happy at the time.
2) On a weird school bonding trip, I was sitting on a log facing away from a campfire with my hood up. Two boys from the grade below kicked their ball into the forest. I said "good luck finding it". One of them asked "Wait, are you a boy or a girl?". I played a mind game or two before saying that I was a girl. Again, happy about this "technical" misgendering.

Age: 19/20. I knew what gender was/was semi-trying to "pass". I wore dark clothes, binders and had short/shaggy hair.
1) I used to work at a restaurant where all servers dressed in a dark uniform with a tie. It was 50/50 whether I was "Miss/Mam" or "Sir" at first glance. Usually after I spoke there was a quick correction to female pronouns with an embarassed customer. With one older couple, the gentleman kept calling me "Sir" while his embarrassed wife kept saying I was a girl. I never specified and they both kept calling me what they thought I was.
2) The most recent was at my kid-brother's birthday party. One of the dad's was talking to my parents, then glanced at me and asked my brother "And is this your older brother with you?". Neither of us responded, although I'm sure my parents probably "corrected" him. My brother wanted help with an arcade game, so I was out of earshot.

[bonetheif]

unfortunately a lot of the time im misgendered (im pre T) -_-' BUT! i do have a couple passing moments. before i realized my gender i had a customer at work call me sir. i did a double take and was like "did they just call me sir???" and i felt really good at the time and i didnt think much more about it but i always remember it fondly.

i went to my therapist a little bit earlier than usual and was sitting in the waiting room on my phone. when i went in for my session my therapist told me that she wasnt wearing her glasses and she was talking to one of her coworkers and went "who's that man waiting for?" referring to me and man it felt amazing hearing that!

and then today at work i was called sir! which rarely happens! only my coworkers use my proper pronouns so hearing strangers is great!

[FtMitch]

I live in Texas where you get sir or ma'am'd all the time because it's the polite thing to do, and I am at the point where I mostly pass all the time.  By this I mean that people are unsure of my gender because when I go out to eat they neither sir nor ma'am me--something very impolite where I live.  They sir or ma'am the people with me, but they subtly call me neither.  They do, however, always take the orders of the women I am with before mine (another Ms. Manners Must you know if you live in the South), so I know that they are pretty sure I'm male.  I have actually been sirr'd a couple dozen times since my voice has dropped and I am rarely ma'am'd these days.  The only exception is the McDonalds that I have been going to for over 15 years near my house.  All the people there recognize me and have watched my change so they still call me ma'am, to my annoyance.  But honestly it's not worth explaining to me because I really don't wanna become to gossip of the McDs, lol.  But since my voice has dropped I have had tons of great passing experiences (yay!).

[Peep]

My mother told me that someone referred to me as her son the other day - this is the first time I've at-a-glance passed when someone other than me has been present, so maybe now my family will start to believe me when i say i don't feel comfortable in the ladies room lol

[Peep]

I live in Texas where you get sir or ma'am'd all the time because it's the polite thing to do, and I am at the point where I mostly pass all the time.  By this I mean that people are unsure of my gender because when I go out to eat they neither sir nor ma'am me--something very impolite where I live.  They sir or ma'am the people with me, but they subtly call me neither.  They do, however, always take the orders of the women I am with before mine (another Ms. Manners Must you know if you live in the South), so I know that they are pretty sure I'm male.  I have actually been sirr'd a couple dozen times since my voice has dropped and I am rarely ma'am'd these days.  The only exception is the McDonalds that I have been going to for over 15 years near my house.  All the people there recognize me and have watched my change so they still call me ma'am, to my annoyance.  But honestly it's not worth explaining to me because I really don't wanna become to gossip of the McDs, lol.  But since my voice has dropped I have had tons of great passing experiences (yay!).

People almost NEVER sir or ma'am here unless you're spending over £50, or you're complaining about something lol

i used to occasionally be called 'young lady' by teachers, and lass, lassie, hen or love by people like bus drivers or bartenders... now I get 'mate' or 'pal' which is nice. It's weird how girls get diminutives or faintly sexualised from men, but boys get treated like a friend 

[Jack-the-banana]

I pass every time even though I'm pre-everything. It might be because I'm young (15), but I think it's just because of many small things that convince people I must be male; First off, my hair is longer than most guys (shoulder-length), but it is still definitely a boy haircut. Some FTMs probably assume the long hair would make their faces look more feminine, but actually, it's the opposite; it hides non-existing jawlines, and makes most people assume my face looks girlish simply because of the hair, so it makes them think ''Oh, the only reason why I think his face is feminine is because I've been conditioned to think longer hair is girly, therefore his face must actually boyish, but i just can't see it.". Wearing looser clothing also helps. My binding method works pretty well (double sports bras because my transphobic parents won't let me use a real binder) and I also pack (double underwear method with two socks wrapped together. I like double things). I guess it's because I'm so confident in my manliness as well.

Seriously, the last time I got misgendered was in December. I was wearing a Santa hat and was called ''Mother Christmas'' by an old man who let me in to the show I was going to watch. When I left to go watch it, I distinctly heard the other man who was working with him (and had called me ''sir'' a few minutes earlier, of course) tell the old dude ''I think that was a guy''.

[haeden]

The most I've transitioned is a binder that doesn't bind too well but I've had people call me by male pronouns a lot. I was once filling in for a manager at work and I was interviewing someone for a job opening with my other 2 managers. She kept referring to me as a "him" even though we had previously met, she did a group interview and she was in my group, so both times we interacted we were in a pretty small room.
So I don't know if the people who continue to call me by male pronouns are doing it out of understanding or because they don't know. I actually find it really funny when they realize I'm a girl the shock is so great I can't help but laugh

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[ghoulified g]

I don't recall ever passing to strangers (I haven't made a lot of effort in transitioning yet, people here really aren't the nicest sometimes) but I got "bro" and male pronouns from my friend after I told her and "buddy" from my dad the other day, I'd get something more feminine before they knew. c:
I might be getting a binder soon, so hopefully that would help me, even just a little q:

[arice]

I passed today and was outed by my 4 year old daughter...
We were at the local hardware store and my daughter was telling the clerk "it's my mommy's birthday today". The clerk asked if she and her daddy were out shopping for mommy and my daughter was "no! This is my mommy!"
The clerk was mortified but I was happy I passed... happy birthday to me


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[ghoulified g]

I don't really know what was going through the guy's head when he saw me today since I don't make much more effort to pass than before I came out, but I was in the line to get searched before going onto a German war ship (there's a hell of a lot of Jutland commemoration going on where I live, including a German and a British war ship docking in the pier just outside town) and the guy said something about a "lad" and I have no idea if he meant me or my brother... Because I was the one who ended up getting searched by him and my brother got sent straight through by someone else but we'll not talk about that and he didn't seem to be paying attention to my brother. I'm feeling kinda happy about that, I don't consider myself to look that masculine since I don't put much effort into how I look- I don't even have a binder. q:

[Peep]

I was at a junk sale yesterday and I think I passed for most people (got a lot of 'pal' and 'mate' and 'I've got to pay this boy...' etc) but then a like 7 year old kid asked me if i was a girl or a boy, and her mum said 'He's a man, don't ask such a rude question!' I always thought kids would be less perceptive than adults

I also kind of wanted to say that I don't think the question is rude, 'cause kids learn by asking questions, but i didn't want to invite more conversation about it >.>

still don't think I'm passing as an adult male tho

[Zeno]

I've never not passed and am Pre-T. I'm 15 though so I guess that's gotta help me considering I always get mistaken for a 12 year old lol. I've been able to train my voice too sound as male as possible and one girl before said that my voice sounded deeper the other day which made me really happy haha. I feel really happy I have the ability too pass and I hope I'm able too until I can get onto T, considering that's going to be a while.

[WorkingOnThomas]

Still pre-T, but at the airport last week: Sir, this isn't your passport. Massively inconvenient at the end of the day, but still - I passed.

[FtMitch]

Okay, have a GREAT passing story today!  I am pretty much passing 100% now.  See, I had a lot of facial hair (well, "a lot" for only being on T for 7.5 months I should say), about a half inch long on my chin, but like most of my eyebrows (which I dye) it was blonde.  So I used beard dye, and I went from passing 80% of the time to 100%!  Now on to the story...

I am at the grocery store, and I bought a bottle of wine along with my groceries.  They ask for my ID, so I hold it up.  They're in a rush and just glance at the date.  The guy bagging groceries apparently plays a game with the check out guy where they guess the age, and he said "22?"  I laughed and said "no, 30!"  Then the cash register puts up a warning, and the checkout guy is like "wait, what year were you born?  I put in the wrong year."  I laughed and started to get my ID back out and he's like, "no, no, just tell me the year!"  I said, "1986."  He went "Oh, I put in '96!  Sorry!"  We all laughed, and I made the old joke about how one day I would appreciate looking so young.

Basically, through all this, no one questioned me at all!  They just thought I was a young looking guy and gave me ZERO impression at all that they were second guessing my gender after they misread the date on my ID.  (I don't know how it is in other states, but on Texas drivers licenses the "sex" is no where near the date of birth.)  They didn't look at me funny or seem like they were wondering why I looked so young or second guessing themselves... they just laughed about him misreading the date and causing the register to give an "underage" alert.  It made me feel awesome!  YAY!

[RenJB]

I only pass if people don't look at my face or hear me talk.... *laughs*

But that's always been sort of the case even before HRT.

There  was one time where me and a friend were in a Michael's store (craft/art supply store)
My friend passed by a female associate first and got a cheerful, "Welcome to Michael's!". He aknowledged her and kept going. I came next. I got the same thing. I sort of nodded at her and quietly said "thanks" (my voice was just starting to change)

I realized she was staring at me as I passed her, and then from behind me, I hear, softly and with feeling:
"Welcome to Michael's!!"

I almost expected a wolf whistle.  @_@ 
Thing is... I don't normally get responses like that to my appearance.... only since starting T has it ever happened.

[Austin Rodgers]

Passing always gives you that great feeling inside, I love it. I usually always pass as a male. A few months ago I was trying on a tshirt at Walmart and the lady told me to go right in and pointed at a men's dressing room door. I was trying to be calm but inside I was smiling so hard.

The best is being called "sir" though. The other day I was buying something from Subway and the lady at the counter said "Have a nice day sir."

It's great that 90% of the time I pass, but I pass as a younger boy around 14 when I'm 18.

[Daydreamer]

I was a little frazzled when it happened, but I went to our local Turkey Hill a few days ago to get rid of some coupons we had, and I got gendered right by the cashier. I don't remember if he called me "sir", "man", or "bro" but it felt pretty great to get read right in front of other people--made even better by our pizza guy doing the same thing.